Good thing Beth had never had a hypothetical fantasy about what it would be like to find out she was pregnant.
As she sat in a perfectly nice waiting room, surrounded by cushy, neutral-toned chairs, magazines about menopause and motherhood, and women who were either in their twenties or fifties, she was very clear that whatever came from this appointment, positive, negative or too-early-to-tell, she would never have cooked up this scenario:
Without her husband. Escorted by a Shadow with enough concealed weapons on him to blow up a tank—or maybe an aircraft carrier. Having taken a vein for blood, for chrissakes, some twenty minutes before leaving a house the size and make up of Versailles.
Yeah, not exactly shit that would get written up in, say … she picked up the nearest mag. Modern Motherhood, for example.
Flipping through the colorful pages, she saw all kinds of Happy, Satisfied Mothers holding their Heavenly Angels on Earth as they preached about the sanctity of breast-feeding, the importance of skin-to-skin contact, and making that critical, first postnatal doctor’s appointment.
“I’m going to be sick,” she muttered, tossing the propaganda aside.
“Shit,” iAm said as he leaped up. “I’ll find the loo—”
“No, no.” She pulled him back down. “I meant, yeah, no, it was just a comment.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. And next time I get annoyed, I promise to just say so. Not throw out a metaphor.”
iAm had to squeeze back into his own stuffed chair: The Shadow was so big, he overflowed the armrests and the back cushion—and he attracted a lot of attention.
Although not because of his size, necessarily.
Every single woman who came in, walked by, or worked at reception looked at him—in a way that proved you weren’t dead from the neck down even if you were pregnant or your ovaries were winding things up or you were frazzled from ringing phones, lots of patients and tons of paperwork.
“Have you ever been married?” she asked the guy.
Absently, he shook his head, those black eyes of his tracing around as if he were ready to defend her with his life.
Which was awfully sweet, really.
“Ever been in love?”
Another shake of the head.
“Do you want children?”
Looking over at her he laughed tightly. “Did I hear that you were once a reporter?”
“Is my who-what-where-why-when coming through again?”
“Yeah. But it’s cool, I got nothing to hide.” He crossed his legs ankle to knee. “You know, with everything going on with my brother all these years, I don’t ever think like that, you feel me? I gotta get him sorted, and shit knows, that ain’t been happenin’.”
“I’m really sorry.” She’d heard enough through the household gossip lines to get the gist of their situation. “To be honest, I keep expecting to come down one of these nights and find you both gone.”
He nodded. “Might well happen—”
“Marklon, Beth?” a nurse called out from an open door across the way.
“That’s me.” Getting to her feet, she put her purse up on her shoulder and headed over. “Right here.”
Jesus, talk about nausea: At the prospect of going in to actually meet the doctor, she thought, okay, now she really was going to throw up again—
The nurse smiled and stepped back, motioning to a little triage room behind her. “I’m just going to get your weight and blood pressure in here.”
“Can you hold this?” she asked iAm, holding out her Coach bag.
“Yup.”
As he took her purse, the nurse paused and pulled a head-to-toe on the Shadow. Then she flushed brilliant red, and had to clear her throat. “Welcome,” she said to him.
iAm just nodded and kept scanning the back area. Like maybe a matched set of ninjas was going to jump out of an exam room or something.
Beth had to smile as the nurse refocused and got into the business of taking vitals.
After that was done, the woman escorted them down a hallway that had a dozen or so numbered rooms opening off of it. As they went along, the decor was the same brown and cream of the waiting room, with similar kinds of glass mounted, fake-textured “art” doing its best to give a noninstitutional feel to a place filled with medical equipment, and people in scrubs and white coats.
“In five, please,” the nurse said, once again standing to the side.
As iAm passed by her, she took an extra step back, her eyes widening as if she liked the way he smelled.
The nurse shook herself and came in, closing the door. “If you could sit on the exam table, that would be great. And you can be anywhere you’d like, sir.”
The Shadow chose the seat right across from the entry, staring at the door as if he were daring somebody, anybody to come through it.
With another smile, Beth had to wonder what the nurse would think if she knew he was prepared to jump anyone he didn’t like the looks of. And kill them.
Maybe cut them up and put them into a stew.
God, she hoped it really had been chicken in that soup …
“Ms. Marklon? Hello?”
She shook herself. “Oh, sorry, what?”
The history part of things went fast, because before her transition she’d been perfectly healthy, and it wasn’t like she was going to tell them that a mere two years ago, she’d become a vampire.
Duh.
“And how far along do you think you are?” came the eventual question.
“I have no idea whether I’m even pregnant, to be honest. It’s a possibility, though, and I am having a lot of nausea—I just want some reassurance everything’s okay.”
“Have you taken an over-the-counter test?”
“No. Should I have?”
The nurse shook her head. “We can do a blood test here if the doctor wants one. And as for the nausea, if you are pregnant, a lot of women get morning sickness that’s more like all-day sickness in the first trimester—and yet it’s all perfectly fine.”
“Good Lord, I can’t believe I’m talking like this.”
The nurse just smiled and finished writing in the chart.
“Okay, now, if you’d like to change into this gown.” A paper square was placed in her lap. “I’ll send the doctor in.”
“Thanks.”
The door shut behind the nurse with a click.
“I can’t leave you,” iAm said as he got up, turned around and faced the wall—and put his head in his big hands. “But I would strongly suggest that you do not tell your husband you got naked with me in the room. I like my arms and legs just where they are, thank you very much.”
“I agree.”
As she made quick work of getting out of her clothes and into that flimsy gown, she really wanted Wrath with her. And actually, it was a good lesson for how much his presence calmed her out. They were so rarely apart, it was easy to forget what he meant to her, especially when things got stressful.
Annnnnd then it was a case of hurry up and wait.
“So if you were going to get married, what kind of woman do you want?”
iAm glanced over at her. “Can’t we talk about baseball or something?”
Oh, crap. “Or guy, as the case might be. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He laughed again. “I’m not gay.”
“So what would she be like?”
“Man, you don’t quit, do you?”
Now it was her turn to laugh. “Listen, I’m sitting here, freezing cold in this paper doily, about to be told that I have the flu and shouldn’t have bothered coming in. Do me a solid and get my mind off my reality, will you?”
iAm sat back in his chair. “Well, like I said, I haven’t really given it a lot of thought.”
“Can I set you up with someone—”
“No,” he barked. “Nooooooooo. No, no, no, back right off the edge of that ledge, girlie.”
She put out her hands. “Okay, okay. Just, I don’t know, you seem like a good guy.”
He didn’t respond to that one.
And as he fell silent, she figured, damn it, she had made him feel awkward—
“Can I tell you something nobody knows?” he blurted.
Beth sat up straighter. “Yes, please.”
The Shadow let out a long exhale. “The truth is…”
Oh, God, please don’t let the doctor come in before he—
“I’ve never been with a female before.”
As Beth’s brows punched up to the center of her forehead, she gave them a strict lecture about resettling. She didn’t want him to look up and see the shock on her face.
“Well, that’s…”
“Lame. I know.”
“No, no, not at all.”
“Trez has been more than making up for it,” he muttered. “If we averaged his sex life and mine, we’d still be on the Wilt Chamberlain curve.”
“Oh, wow. I mean—”
“Before my brother bolted from the s’Hisbe, I was too goddamn shy. And then once the shit hit the fan with him? I’ve been trying to keep him from spiraling completely out of control. Plus, I don’t know, I’m not into the sluts. Our tradition says you honor your body by sharing it only with someone you are halved with. Guess I can’t get that bullshit out of my head.”
After a moment, he glowered across at her. “What.”
“I just … I’ve never heard you say that many words at once. It’s nice to have you open up.”
“Can we keep this between us?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
She waited a couple of beats. “But if I meet someone, like, you know, who might make sense, can I introduce you two?”
He shook his head. “’Preciate it. I’m not a good bet, though.”
“So what are you going to do, live your whole life alone?”
“I have my brother,” he said gruffly. “Trust me. That shit is more than enough to keep me busy.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it is.”
When he got quiet again, she assumed he was done talking. Instead, he spoke up one last time: “I only have one other secret.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t tell anyone … but I like that goddamn cat of yours.”
Tilting her head to the side, Beth smiled at the Shadow. “I have a feeling … he’s pretty fond of you, too.”
It was a full hour before the door opened again.
And it was only another nurse. “Hi, I’m Julie. Dr. Sam’s tied up in an emergency. She’s really sorry. She’s asked me to take a blood sample to speed things along?”
For a split second, Beth worried about that bright idea. There were anatomical differences in the two species. What if they found something—
“Ms. Marklon?”
iAm had said he was going to take care of any fallout, though, she reminded herself. And she could guess how he was going to do that.
“Yes, of course. Which arm do you want?”
“Let me take a look at your veins.”
Five minutes, one alcohol pad, two sticks, and three filled vials later, she and iAm were alone again.
For a while.
“Does it always take this long?” he asked. “With humans?”
“I don’t know. I was never sick, and I sure as hell never wondered if I was pregnant before.”
The Shadow rearranged himself in his chair again. “You want to call Wrath?”
She took out her phone. “I’m not getting a signal. How ’bout you?”
He checked his. “Nope.”
Made sense. They were in one of St. Francis Hospital’s newer buildings, a twelve- or fifteen-story-high steel-and-glass number—and they were only on the second floor. In the middle.
Not a window in sight.
God, she wished Wrath were here—
The door swung open, and later … much later … she would recall the first thing that struck her:
I like this woman.
Dr. Sam was five feet tall, fifty years old … and all about her patient. “Hi. I’m Sam, and I’m sorry you’ve had to wait.”
Shifting the folder she was carrying to her opposite arm, she put her hand out and smiled, flashing pretty white teeth and a face that had aged well naturally. Her short blond hair was a good dye job, and she had some nice gold bangles and a diamond ring on her left hand. “You must be Beth. Manny’s an old friend of mine. I used to do ob-gyn consults for him in the ER from time to time.”
For absolutely no good reason, Beth felt an absurd urge to cry—and tamped it right down. “I’m Beth. Marklon.”
“And you are?” she said to iAm, also offering her hand.
“A friend.”
“My husband can’t be here,” Beth said as those two shook.
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“He’s … not going to be able to be at the appointments.”
Dr. Sam propped a hip on the exam table. “Is he in the military?”
“Ah…” She glanced at iAm. “Actually, yes.”
“Thank him for his service for me, will you?”
God, she hated lying. “I will.”
“Okay, so let’s get down to business.” She opened the folder. “Have you been taking prenatal vitamins?”
“No.”
“That’s going to be first on our list.” Dr. Sam glanced up. “I’ve got some good organic ones that won’t make you sick—”
“Wait, so am I pregnant?”
The doctor frowned. “I—I’m sorry. I thought this was your ultrasound checkup?”
“No, I came in to find out whether I have a stomach flu or if I’m … you know.”
The doctor pulled the chair the nurse had sat in up really close. Then she put her hand over Beth’s. “You’re very definitely pregnant. And you have been for a while. That’s why we need to get you on those prenatals right away—as well as try to put some weight on you.”
Beth felt the blood drain out of her head. “I—that’s not possible.”
“Going by your HCG results, I’d say you’re into your second trimester—although, of course, levels vary significantly. But right now you’re over one hundred thousand. So as I said, I’m hoping you’ll let me do an ultrasound so we can see what’s going on.”
“I … I … I … I…”
“Yeah, she’d like that,” iAm said remotely. “Can you do it now?”
“I … I…”
“Yup, right now.” Dr. Sam didn’t move, though. “But let’s make sure Beth’s on board. Would you like some time with your friend?”
“I can’t be four months. You don’t understand … it’s not possible.”
Maybe this was a vampire thing, she thought. Like, the reading was wonky because she was a—
“Well, again, HCG levels are really only an indication in the very beginning—and solely in relation to how much they’re increasing.” The doctor stood up and opened a drawer, taking out a little boxy device that had a sensor attached to it by a thick wire. “May I check for a heartbeat?”
“It’s not possible,” Beth heard herself say. “It’s just not.”
“Will you let me see if there’s a heartbeat?”
Beth collapsed back onto the table and felt the doctor put something the size of a thumbprint on her stomach—
A tiny little rhythm sounded out. “Yup, we have a heartbeat. Nice and strong. One forty is what we like to see, and you’ve got it down pat.”
Beth could only blink at the ceiling tiles far above her. “Get the ultrasound machine,” she said roughly. “Now.”