The Mammoth Book of Regency Romance

The Weatherlys’ Ball Christie Kelley

Tessa stared out across the ballroom, nervous apprehension running through her body. The Weatherlys’ ball looked no different than it had five years ago when she had raced from it in scandal. Only then, she had thought her lover would be a gentleman and correct the situation before marching off to war. How wrong she’d been.

“Are you all right?” Grace asked, squeezing Tessa’s hand in support.

“I am well.” She smiled over at her cousin. After the disaster that ruined her reputation, Grace had remained her only friend. Once Tessa had married Lord Townson and gone into seclusion in the country, Grace had been her only contact in town. Even Tessa’s parents had disowned her.

“I am glad you decided to come to town this season. Your mourning time is finished, now you can enjoy yourself again.”

“And find a new husband,” Tessa said with a touch of hardness to her voice. She knew marriage was the only option for her but dreaded the idea. After four years with Townson, she’d hoped for some freedom. But the bastard had left her with barely a pittance. Not even enough to support herself, much less Louisa.

Her daughter had been her only source of happiness since her marriage. Townson, of course, had been displeased that in four years she had only managed to give him a daughter. He’d assumed marrying a woman forty years younger than himself would help to produce an heir where his first two wives had failed. Tessa blinked and shook her head to rid herself of the dreadful memories of her marriage. Reminiscing about the past five years only saddened her.

She glanced over at Grace and wondered why her cousin seemed to be nervously assessing the ballroom. “Who are you looking for?”

“No one in particular,” Grace replied quickly. “I am just trying to see who is here.”

Tessa looked around the room and noticed a few faces familiar from her second season. But after almost an hour in the ballroom, not one person had come to speak with her. How was it that one mistake could mark a woman for life, while men could make multiple errors and no one chided them?

Money.

Men had the money and women did not. Nor did most women have a way to accumulate any. So, unless they were born an heiress, they had to count on their looks. And at five and twenty, the bloom was nearly off the rose for her. She had nothing to offer a husband except her intelligence and wit — neither a commodity most men looked for in a wife.

“Harry has finally returned from the gaming room,” Grace said. “Would you mind if I went to speak with him?”

“Of course not. Go to your husband.”

“Thank you, cousin. I shall return promptly.” Grace walked away, her blue silk swishing about her ankles.

Tessa sipped her wine and wondered how much longer Grace and Harry would want to remain at the ball. They had only accepted the invitation in order to get Tessa back out on the marriage market. Obviously, marriage would be a slow process.

“Lady Townson, how lovely to see you again. How are you?”

Tessa blinked and noticed the man beside her. “I am very well, Mr Harrington. And you?”

Harrington smiled in such a manner she thought he meant to devour her. “I am very well now. Would you care to dance?”

She bit her lip for a moment. Harrington had been a rake when she’d been out before, was he still the same? Without Grace, Tessa had no one from whom to seek guidance. Her gaze slipped to the dancers twirling across the floor in a parade of coloured silk. A pang of sadness flitted through her. It had been so long since she danced at a ball. “I would love to dance with you, Mr Harrington.”

“Excellent.” He held out his arm for her to take.

As they walked towards the dance floor, she studied him. Nearing thirty now, the past few years had been more than kind to him. His blond hair was still thick, with a touch of curl to it. His blue eyes sparkled like sapphires when he smiled, which he was doing right now. With his chiselled jaw, he was every woman’s fantasy … except hers.

Even now, she continued to dream of a man with black hair and light-green eyes. Perhaps it was true that people never forget their first love. Or maybe he was the only man she had been meant to love.

“I do believe a waltz is next. Are you still willing to dance with me?”

The last time she’d been out the waltz was a scandalous dance that only a few hostesses would allow at their balls. Grace had told her that it had become more acceptable, but still Tessa hesitated. She’d spent the past two months relearning all the dances she’d forgotten since her marriage and the waltz was one of them. “Yes, Mr Harrington.”

His smile turned almost devious. “I see your tendency towards scandalous activities hasn’t changed over time.”

She stiffened.

“Don’t be upset with me,” he whispered near her ear. “I always liked that about you. In fact, I was hoping to speak with you about a proposition that might suit us both.”

“Oh?”

Harrington laughed softly. “Don’t sound so prudish, Lady Townson. Being a widow gives you much more opportunity for pleasure than marriage to an old lord did. I can show you what it’s like to be with a real man. A strong virile man.”

Tessa blinked back the tears that blinded her. “I believe I have changed my mind about the dance, Mr Harrington. Good evening.”

She turned and left before he could say another disgusting word. How dare he just assume she would be interested in a lascivious affair because she was now a widow! Looking about the room, she tried to find Grace or Harry, to no avail. Where could they have gone? She backed herself up against a pillar and snatched a glass of wine from a passing footman. After a quick sip, she stared across the room.

“Still running away from men, I see.”

Tessa turned to face the one woman who had never caused her anything but grief. “Good evening, Georgiana. Lovely to see you again.”

“Am I to assume you are here to find your next victim … I mean, husband?”

“Yes, it was so enjoyable five years ago to win the love of the man you had hoped to marry. Shall we do it again this year?” Tessa plastered a smug grin on her face.

“Oh, but you didn’t really win that competition, did you?”

Before she could think of a witty reply, Georgiana turned and walked away towards the refreshment table. That woman had been a thorn in Tessa’s side all during her two seasons out. Georgiana had made it her mission to stop Garrett courting her, but Garrett and Tessa had seen right through Georgiana’s tricks. Tessa sighed and returned her attention to the ball.

A flash of black caught her eye. She watched the man as he walked towards the refreshment table. She was only able to see his black hair, but her heart pounded against her chest.

For a quick moment she thought it was he. But that was inconceivable. He’d been dead for almost five years. Perhaps it was his older brother, Laurence, a man she had no desire to speak with again. Laurence had not even found it necessary to inform her about Garrett’s death in person. Instead, he’d sent her a note.

Her eyes refocused on the dark-haired man at the table. Something about his mannerisms reminded her of the only man she’d ever loved. The only man who had broken her heart so completely. Not a day passed that she didn’t wonder how different her life might have been if he hadn’t gone off to the war.

But this gentleman was surely different. His black hair was longer, almost reaching to the collar of his emerald coat. And he had a slight limp as he walked past the table. Still, the way he cocked his head as someone made a comment seemed vaguely familiar.

Tessa looked down at her wine and noticed how badly her hands trembled. This had to stop. Garrett had been dead for five long years and nothing could bring him back. And yet, even as she scolded herself, her gaze returned to the man at the refreshment table. She smiled slightly, knowing he was about to turn around and then she would see for certain that he was not the man she’d loved.

The black-haired man turned towards her.

It couldn’t be him. Garrett was dead!

Tessa’s wine glass fell through her cold fingers.

Everyone’s gaze, including Garrett’s, turned as the sound of breaking glass rent the air. A flash of red hair could be seen before the woman raced from the ballroom and out a terrace door. His heart stopped for a moment. It couldn’t be her. After what had happened, she would never attempt to go about in society again.

“It truly amazes me that anyone would invite Lady Townson to a ball,” whispered a female voice behind him.

“Poor Mrs Billings felt she had no choice but to bring her into her home after the old lord died. After all, she is her cousin,” another woman commented.

“She should have stayed in the country.”

Fury washed over him at both the comments, and at the idea that Tessa was at the ball. Had she seen him and dropped her glass? He almost laughed at the thought. The cold-hearted woman had probably only been flirting with another man when she let the glass slip. She was likely just trying to attract more attention to herself.

But watching her scamper off to the gardens had sent his anger even higher. It was high time he confronted her about what she’d done to him. With her living in the country, he’d never felt a need. But now that she had returned, he would deal with her. He strode towards the terrace, attempting to ignore the pain in his hip and the looks of pity from the people around him.

The cool April air was like a slap in the face after the stifling conditions inside the ballroom. The fresh scent of the evening air refreshed him. He moved along a row of rose bushes, the gravel crunching under his feet as he listened for any sound. The chilly temperatures had kept most of the amorous couples inside. A few torches lit the path as he ambled towards the brick wall to the back of the garden. He paused for a moment to listen to the rhythmic shuffle of pacing on the gravel path ahead of him.

He found her with her hand over her mouth, muttering, pacing, her eyes frantic.

“How can he be alive?” she whispered.

He didn’t move for a moment but just stared at her, remembering exactly how she had looked five years ago. So beautiful it took his breath away.

With her red hair and blue eyes, a heart-shaped face and curves exactly where a man wanted them, she had been one of the most popular girls out during her seasons. She had favoured him with her smiles and her dances. And he had craved her attention. Now she had matured and sorrow marked her face. Could she have loved her older husband so much that she still missed him a year after his death?

“What are you doing here, Tessa?”

She glanced up with a gasp and shook her head. Tears trailed down her cheeks and her blue eyes looked like wet sapphires. “What am I doing here?”

“That was my question.”

She rose from her seat and stared at him. “You are supposed to be dead.”

Dead? “If you think you can attempt to fool me with your duplicitous words, you are mistaken.”

“Fool you!” She walked over and slapped him across the face.

Damn. He rubbed his cheek as the pain lessened. “Try that again and you will find yourself over my knee.”

She laughed caustically. “Over the knee of a dead man. I doubt you will be able to manage it.”

“Why do you insist that I am a dead man?” he asked.

“Why don’t you ask your brother? I’m sure he can tell you why he wrote me a letter stating that you had died. Or maybe you can explain why I received your letter. The one I was only supposed to receive after your death.”

“And what about my other letter?” he demanded.

Her brows furrowed deeply. “There was no other letter. The only note I received from you was the one that just about killed me.”

Before he could even begin to understand, she picked up her skirts and ran from him. Not unlike how she’d run from him five years ago. And as much as he would have liked to chase after her, his damned hip prevented him from anything more than a slow walk. By the time he reached the ballroom, he knew she had departed.

Not that he could blame her. Now, he would have to wait until tomorrow to call on her and ask for an explanation. But he had no way of justifying his brother’s actions, if he was to take her remarks as truth. No way of discovering why Laurence would have sent her such a note. Could Tessa have been so secluded from society gossip that she didn’t know Laurence had died over a year ago? Or that Garrett had inherited the title?

He walked back out to the terrace and sat on a stone bench, remembering a night like this five years ago. Making love to her out in the garden had been one of the more foolish things he had done in his life. And yet, the most memorable. She had been driving him insane with desire for a month before she finally let him kiss her. But one kiss hadn’t been enough for either of them.

Why she’d agreed to marry Townson had never made any sense to him. Garrett had written her a letter the very next morning offering to marry her via proxy once he arrived with his unit in Belgium. But she had never replied. Instead, he’d received a letter from Laurence stating that she had married Townson. Laurence had implied she married him for the title and money.

Garrett went a little mad after receiving his brother’s letter. Placing himself in dangerous situations, perhaps hoping God would take him. Obviously, God hadn’t wanted him any more than Tessa had.

Still, he owed her an explanation, just as she owed him one.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tessa demanded of Grace the next morning. “You knew he was alive and you never told me. How could you do that?”

Grace stared down at her hands. “By the time I discovered he was alive, it was too late, Tessa. You had already married Townson. There was nothing you could have done.”

Tessa strode across the small parlour of Grace’s home. Dodging Louisa, who lay on the floor petting the cat, Tessa stalked past the wingback chair where Grace sat, then stopped.

“Why didn’t you tell me after Townson died?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt you again,” she replied quickly. “I was only trying to protect you. The only reason I agreed to go to that ball last night was because I’d heard he would not be there.”

Tessa looked up at the white ceiling. “Grace, you know I would have discovered the truth sometime. You should have told me so I didn’t embarrass myself in front of all those people … again.”

“I’m sorry, Tessa. I honestly never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.” She walked the length of the room again, this time stopping by the fireplace. “Has he married, then?” she whispered.

Grace shook her head. “No. His brother died a little over a year ago and now that he is Viscount Haverhill, everyone is expecting him to start courting an eligible lady.”

Tessa swallowed back the bitter taste that filled her mouth. The idea of Garrett marrying someone made her clutch her stomach. Now she would have to spend the whole season watching him court some young woman.

“He said he wrote me a letter that I never received.” Tessa resumed her pacing. “I wonder why I never learned of it.”

“Do you think he was lying?”

Tessa frowned and shook her head. “He seemed quite sincere.”

“Your parents might have intercepted it,” Grace said, looking up at Tessa as she passed the chair again. “You know they didn’t approve of him. They felt his prospects were limited at best.”

“He was an officer in the military. The second son of a viscount. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“True. But they had higher expectations for you than a military man.”

Tessa shook her head in disbelief. Could her parents have been so deceitful? In her heart, she knew they could. All they had wanted for her was a wealthy peer who would marry her and take her out of their home.

A knock scraped the door and Grace’s butler peered into the room. “Lady Townson, you have a caller.”

Tessa frowned. “Who is it?”

“Lord Haverhill, ma’am. Shall I inform him that you are not at home?”

“No, show him to the receiving salon. I shall be there presently,” Tessa replied, as nervous energy filled her.

As the door shut, Tessa looked back at Grace. “What am I to do now?”

Grace smiled sympathetically. “Talk to him and find out where your letters crossed.”

Tessa nodded. With a breath for strength, she walked to the receiving parlour. And there he was. He rose to his full height upon her entry. Could she really have forgotten what a handsome man he was?

His black hair was longer than he used to wear it, but still just as striking. His green eyes were the lightest she had ever seen, almost the colour of a peridot. His square face, straight nose and brilliant smile made him hard to resist. And resist him was exactly what she should have done five years ago. Today, those intense eyes burned her as she walked slowly into the room.

“Lady Townson,” he said with a quick bow.

“Lord Haverhill.” She took a seat as far from him as possible.

“I believe we should talk about what happened last night.” The stiffness in his voice carried through to his body. He crossed his arms over his chest as he waited for her to speak.

Tessa’s heart pounded. “I am not sure there is any more to discuss.”

“You told me you received a letter from my brother stating I had died. I find it difficult to believe my brother would have done such a thing. He knew how I felt about you at the time.”

She blinked in surprise. “You don’t believe me?”

“I said, ‘I find it difficult to believe’. Not impossible.”

His cold tone sent a shiver through her. “I still have the letter,” she whispered. She had kept all of Garrett’s letters. She had reread them every night after Townson left her bed.

He closed his eyes and blew out a long sigh. “Might I see it?”

Tessa hated the tension this discussion brought. The two of them used to be able to talk about everything. Now, he could barely stand being in the same room as her. “It is in my bedchamber. I will ask a footman to retrieve it for me.” She rose and walked to the door. After speaking to the footman, she returned.

“You never received another letter from me after the one from my brother?” he asked quietly.

“No. What was in it?”

“Nothing of importance,” he muttered then swore under his breath. He rose with the assistance of his cane and walked to the fireplace. “Are you lying to me, Tessa?”

She watched him limp to the fireplace and her heart went out to him. He had been a brilliant horseman before the war and now he looked as if he could never ride again. She wondered if the wound pained him.

“Tessa, are you lying to me?”

“Of course not,” she snapped. “What purpose would I have in lying to you?”

He turned at her outburst. “Excuse me?”

“Your letter broke my heart, Garrett.”

His smile turned nasty. “I’m certain you were so heartbroken that you let your parents marry you off to old Townson. Of course, he was a much better catch, being a viscount.”

“Get out of this house,” she said, pointing towards the door.

“Not until I see this supposed letter you received.” He walked towards her, leaning heavily on his cane.

Each step brought him closer, until she could smell the aroma of his sandalwood soap. She shouldn’t feel this attraction to him. This desire to run her hand down his cheek, just to feel the rough stubble there.

“Why did you marry him?”

“I thought you were dead,” she whispered. “I didn’t care who I married after I had lost you.”

He closed his eyes. “I see.”

“I don’t think you do.” She should tell him the real reason for her marriage, but that news would only cause him more pain.

“Did your parents force the marriage?” He opened his eyes again and stared at her.

Tessa nodded. “They felt it was the best for me. My reputation was in ruins. I had no prospects for a decent marriage.”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” a footman paused at the threshold. “Here are the letters you asked me to fetch for you.” He handed them to her before disappearing.

Tessa stared down at the bundle of letters tied together with a blue ribbon. She pulled out the top letter that she had read hundreds of times. In it, he had expressed his love for her and his sorrow at losing her so soon. Slowly, she held out the worn paper to him.

“This is your letter.” She then sorted through the other letters until she found the one from his brother. “And this is your brother’s note.”

He opened the first note and stared down at it. For a long moment he said nothing, and then he handed the papers back to her. “I am dreadfully sorry, Tessa. That note was not supposed to go to you unless I died. I can only assume that Laurence decided he wanted you out of my life and this was the best way to do it. Unfortunately, we will never know for certain.”

He retrieved his cane and walked towards the door.

He was leaving? She couldn’t let him go just yet. There was more they had to discuss, wasn’t there?

“How were you injured?” she asked.

“I was shot in the hip.” He continued to shuffle to the door. His limp was much more pronounced than it had been yesterday.

She bit down on her lip and tried not to cry. He could have lost his leg to an injury like that or, worse, died from an infection. Had things worked out between them, she could have been the one to help him recover, or rub his hip when it pained him. Now he was walking out the door, and if she didn’t try to stop him, she might not see him again.

“Would you like to stay for some tea?”

He stopped and slowly turned to face her. “Tessa, I believe it would be best for both of us to continue with our lives as usual. What happened is in the past. Nothing can change it. Good day.” Then he was gone.

She couldn’t move as he walked out of her life again. Dropping to a chair, she stared at the low fire glowing in the fireplace. While she still had feelings for him, perhaps he felt nothing for her? Perhaps he was right — they should continue as if they had never found each other again.

A burning flame of anger lit her. Standing up, she walked across the room to the window. Pulling back the heavy velvet curtain, she watched as he clambered up to his coach. Something was keeping him from letting her back into his life. And she did not believe it was her marriage or the deception of his brother, or her parents.

She was determined to find the true cause of his reluctance.

As his coach eased away from Tessa’s home, Garrett stared up at the window where she stood watching him. This was for the best, he told himself. The last thing she needed was to be burdened with a cripple.

He leaned his head back against the squabs. Dammit! Why did she have to come back to town? She should have stayed in the country and found a homely squire to marry and give her babies. She shouldn’t have returned where he would see her every time he attended a ball. Just being in the same room with her had been torture. It had taken all of his resolve and military training to walk away from her.

When she had asked him to stay for tea, he’d wanted to say yes. Wanted to spend more time in her company. Wanted to kiss her until she moaned with pleasure. Not that he understood why she would want to spend a second longer in his company than needed. He had discovered quickly that his injury frightened many of the young ladies away. They wanted a whole man, not someone who could not even dance with them.

The best course of action was to stay away from her. After he’d been wounded, he decided he would never subject a woman to marrying half a man. His younger brother Robert, or one of Robert’s sons, could inherit the title and estates when the time came. For now, he would continue on, rebuilding the fortune that Laurence had lost over the years. And he would not think about Tessa.

Garrett almost laughed at the thought.

He had thought about Tessa almost every day for the past five years. Seeing her had only relit the flame of his desire. Knowing that tonight he would most likely run into her again, only made him want her more.

Somehow, he would fight his feelings for her.

Garrett scanned the audience, determined to find her. The opera would be starting soon and he knew if he didn’t see her before it started he would never be able to watch the performance. Remembering her favourite colour was sapphire, he examined every woman dressed in any shade of blue. As the orchestra started, he moved to violet gowns, another of her favourites. Again, he didn’t find her.

Finally, as the curtain started to rise, he found her sitting in the back of a box with her cousin Grace Billings. Tessa looked pale and uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat. Perhaps she had noticed his gaze, but her eyes remained focused on the stage.

Now that he knew she was there, he could ignore her and watch the opera.

And yet, not five minutes later, he found himself staring at her again. This obsession was maddening.

“So, who exactly are you staring at?”

Garrett turned to his friend, David Harris, sitting next to him. If it weren’t for David, Garrett would be dead. It was David who had pulled him to safety after he was shot in the hip. “No one,” he replied with a scowl.

“Indeed?”

Garrett moved his gaze back to the stage and attempted to watch the performance. Nonetheless, his eyes slid to the side, where he could just make out Tessa.

“He’s doing it again,” David said to his wife Anne, who was sitting in front of them with her younger sister.

Both women glanced back at him with a smile.

“Leave him alone,” Anne said with a compassionate smile to Garrett.

He shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on the opera. During the intermission, he walked the corridors to loosen the tightness in his hip. Sitting for long periods always caused him pain.

“Good evening, Lord Haverhill.”

Garrett halted his hobbling stride and looked over at Tessa. She sipped her lemonade with a smile. A damned seductive smile. “Good evening, Lady Townson. I hope you are enjoying the performance tonight.”

“Not particularly,” she replied with a little shrug.

Seeing her up close was far worse than from across the expanse of the opera house. Her jonquil dress was cut low enough to display her full, rounded breasts to perfection. Damn his unruly desire. Just standing this close to her was enough to make him hard. He had to get his mind off her.

“So where would you prefer to be, then?” he asked.

Her smile deepened until two small dimples appeared in her cheeks. “At home. In bed.”

Not the words he needed to hear when his imagination had already placed her in a bed with him on top of her. “Oh?” was his only insipid response.

“Do you plan to attend the dinner party at the Byingtons’?”

“Yes,” he muttered, before realizing he should have said no and avoided her.

“Excellent,” she said with a smile. “I shall see you there.”

Her cousin approached them slowly. “There you are, Tessa. It is time to go back to our seats.”

Garrett almost laughed as Tessa rolled her eyes. Something about her look made him wish he could rescue her. But he didn’t have that option now. Nor would he ever.

Garrett watched Tessa as she assessed the salon with a hint of a smile on her face. His heart raced just seeing her standing on the edge of the crowd in her yellow gown. How he wished he could ask to escort her into the dining room. But he couldn’t. Keeping his distance was the only option. The woman was young and vibrant and didn’t need a cripple for a husband.

“Why don’t you stop staring at her and ask her to take a turn around the room with you?”

Garrett glared over at David. “She is the last woman I would ask.”

“Of course,” David replied with a light chuckle. “That explains why you couldn’t keep your eyes off her during the opera.”

“She means nothing to me,” he lied. “I have been over her since I discovered her deception years ago.”

“Deception? Or forced marriage?”

“It matters not either way.” She could have refused her parents’ wishes. This wasn’t the Middle Ages where a woman was forced to marry a man against her will.

“Then why are you still staring at her?” David asked and then walked away.

Why was he staring at her? Because he knew she would never disobey her parents. And as she told him, she thought he was dead. As he watched her, her lips moved upwards until she smiled fully … at him. She strolled over.

“Good evening, Lord Haverhill.”

“Good evening, Lady Townson,” he replied stiffly. “Are you enjoying the dinner party?”

She sipped her sherry and glanced over at him. “Oh, I think you know where my preferences lie tonight.”

At home. In bed. How could he have forgotten? “Still, it must be enjoyable to be back in town?”

Her face drew into a frown. “For most people it would be.”

“But not you?”

“The majority of society would prefer I go back to the country.”

A thought he’d had only yesterday. “There is no reason you should not be here.”

“Indeed? Do you want me here?” she whispered.

He closed his eyes for a moment but that only brought thoughts of her lying naked in his arms. He blinked quickly and focused on the question. “What I want is of no importance.”

“Still, I would be very interested in knowing what you want,” she said in a seductive tone.

Thankfully, Lady Byington announced that dinner would be served in the dining room. Saving him from venturing a reply to her flirtatious words.

“Garrett,” she whispered. “Will you escort me? I am quite certain no one else will.”

He couldn’t ignore the pleading tone, no matter how much he knew he should. “Yes.”

“Thank you,” she said, then slowly licked that luscious lower lip.

As seductive as she looked, he remembered it was only a nervous reaction that caused her to do that. She had done it many times when he courted her. Unfortunately, he still reacted in the same manner, as he felt himself stiffen.

She looped her arm with his and a shock of awareness raced up his arm. He had to find a way to distance himself from her. He could not become involved again.

Walking into the dining room, he quickly found her seat … right next to his. Could she have planned this? Did she specifically ask Lady Byington to seat her next to him?

“Well, this is convenient,” she said with a smile. “I am seated with you.”

“A little too convenient,” he muttered.

“At least sitting here, I know someone will converse with me. Had I been seated next to another man, I might have been ignored.”

Bloody hell, he thought. Who could ever ignore Tessa? He would have no choice but to include her in any conversations. It would take every ounce of control he had to survive this dinner.

Tessa sat next to Garrett with a secret smile. Very few people knew Lady Byington was her godmother. When Tessa asked her to seat Garrett next to her, Lady Byington thought it was a splendid plan. If only Tessa knew what to do now that she was next to him.

While she had found flirting with Garrett easy years ago, now he was a different man. Harder. Far more in control of himself. She wondered if her efforts would be in vain. But remembering his reaction to her comment about wanting to be home and in bed, she believed she might have a chance.

She placed her hand on Garrett’s forearm and leaned in close. “Lord Haverhill, do tell me what you have been doing with yourself since your return from Belgium.”

He tightened his muscles under her hand and grimaced. “I have spent the past year attempting to sort through the mess my brother left me with the estate.”

“And before that?”

“Recovering.”

Tessa removed her hand and picked up her wine glass. It would not be easy to break through the wall he had around him. She brushed her leg against his, savouring his hard muscles. “Tell me about the estate.”

He clenched his fist around his own glass before drinking a long draught. “I believe I told you about it several years ago. Nothing else has changed.”

“Very well,” she whispered. After wiping her mouth with her napkin, she placed it back in her lap. Slowly, under the cover of the tablecloth, she skimmed her hand up his thigh.

Suddenly, a hard hand caught hers and abruptly stopped her caress. Garrett leaned in close to her and whispered, “Stop now or I shall make you look like a fool in front of everyone. Do you understand?”

Embarrassment heated her cheeks as she nodded. She understood perfectly. Garrett wanted no part of her flirtations. Once again, she had made an error in judgment.

For a week, Tessa tried to ignore the feelings she had for Garrett. She had only seen him once since that dreadful miscalculation at the Byingtons’ dinner party. But he would be at the Seatons’ ball tonight. She inhaled deeply and entered the ballroom.

Tessa scanned the room for Garrett. Where was he? Grace had said he would be here, but as she searched the room, she could not find him. She casually strolled to the gaming room. And there he sat, playing faro with his friend Mr Harris. For a moment, she could only watch him. But her yearning to be close to him brought her nearer.

“Are you winning?” she asked softly.

Both men stood and bowed towards her. Mr Harris looked over at her with a slight frown. “Good evening, Lady Townson.”

She nodded at him. “Mr Harris.”

Garrett finally glanced at her. “I am winning a small amount.”

“Ahh,” she said, wishing she could have come up with a witty retort and not one that sounded completely simple-minded. “Perhaps I will see you later.”

“Perhaps,” he muttered.

Mr Harris smirked at Garrett’s mumbled reply.

Feeling rather dejected, she returned to the ballroom and the scornful looks from the ladies. There were days when she wondered if it would have been better to stay in the country. She might have found a nice man to marry there. But after seeing Garrett again, he was the only man she wanted.

After standing alone for a few moments outside the gaming room, Garrett finally approached with a wary look on his face. “Did you wish to speak with me?” he asked.

She did, but she had no idea what to say to him. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

He tightened his jaw but said nothing.

“Did you enjoy the play two nights ago?” she asked, hoping for some reply.

“Yes,” he admitted.

“I’m glad,” she said softly.

“Why?”

Why? “Why wouldn’t I be?” She pulled out her fan and swept it near her face a few times. “It is stifling in here.”

“I suppose we could take a turn in the garden.”

Her fan stilled in front of her face. Did he just offer to take her to the garden? Alone? While she knew she should rebuff his advance, she heard herself answer, “Yes, I would like that.”

He held out his arm, and she linked hers with his. They walked slowly, allowing him to keep up without limping too much.

“Are you ever going to tell me how you were shot?” she asked as they reached the terrace door.

“There was nothing terribly fascinating about it.” They walked towards a bench. “Napoleon’s forces were bearing down on us. My unit was trying to defend our position. I took a shot in my hip and fell off my horse. Dreadfully embarrassing to fall off your horse in front of your men.”

“But you had been shot!”

“True,” he said with a slight smile. “But I should have been able to hold on to my horse. I resigned my commission after that and returned home once the surgeon had patched me up.”

Tessa shook her head with disbelief as she sat on the bench. Were all men worried about embarrassing themselves? Her own brother had never seemed to care.

She looked up at him and patted the place next to her. “Please sit down so your hip doesn’t bother you.”

He looked away, but even in the dimly lit garden, she noticed the colour stain his cheeks. She would have to remember that any talk of his wound apparently shamed him.

“Very well,” he said, reluctantly taking the seat.

The scent of his sandalwood soap filled the air around her, overpowering the scent of spring flowers. His shoulder brushed against hers and tingles of desire crept through her body. She pressed her hand to her belly.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yes.” She smiled over at him. “I was just remembering the time we were at the Halsteads’ country party.”

He frowned for a moment before nodding his head. “I remember.”

“We played that game of chess and talked for almost two hours.” Tessa sighed, remembering what a wonderful night they had shared. That was the evening she realized she loved him. Hearing his excited tone as he spoke of leaving for the war had softened her heart. She understood his need to defend his country from the dreadful Napoleon.

“And you told me how you wished you’d been born a man so you could fight beside me.”

She laughed lightly. “Well, I was only twenty and my brother had just gone off to the war.”

“How is Mitchell?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, staring down at the tips of her shoes peeking out from her skirts. “He hasn’t written me or even called on me since …”

His large gloved hand covered hers. “I am so sorry, Tessa. If I had known what would happen, I never would have made love with you that night.”

“It was worth it,” she mumbled. She had wanted him so desperately back then.

“How can you say that? It cost you your reputation. Even now, after paying your penance by marrying that old bastard, you are still being cast out.”

She turned her head and stared into his light green eyes. “I was in love with you, Garrett. I wanted you to make love with me. I wanted to …”

“To?”

She turned her gaze away from his prying eyes. “To marry you,” she whispered.

“Oh, Tessa,” he said with a sigh.

She looked over at him as his head slowly inclined towards hers. Her lips parted instinctively as his lips brushed against hers. He deepened the kiss, shattering her senses, and his tongue swept across hers. She shifted and pulled him closer.

He drew away slightly. “I missed you, too,” he whispered before kissing her again. Only this kiss was more heated than the previous one.

She moaned. Desire flooded her body for the first time in five years. Heat seared her as his hand cupped her breast, his thumb rubbing her nipple. She wanted desperately to be closer to him, to feel his naked body against hers and erase the memories of her late husband’s pathetic attempts.

Kissing him brought back images of their one and only night together. She could still remember the sensation of his mouth on her breast. The fullness of him deep inside her.

Oh, God, how she wanted that again.

“My, my, one would think you would have learned your lesson five years ago,” a sharp feminine voice sounded.

Tessa pushed away and looked up to see Georgiana Chambers staring down at them both. Heat crossed Tessa’s cheeks. The woman continued to glare at them.

“Haverhill, I do hope once we marry your penchant for chasing this little slut will stop.” She turned and strode away, leaving Tessa gape mouthed.

Marry! He planned to marry Georgiana Chambers! The same woman who had ruined Tessa’s reputation by spreading her poisonous venom about finding them in the garden? She took one look at Garrett’s guilty face and raced from the garden … just like five years ago.

Guilt slammed into Garrett as he watched Tessa run from him. God, he was a fool to let her go. But he didn’t stop her. He knew this was for the best, so why did he feel so damned dreadful about it?

Because he loved her.

He’d loved her since the first time he saw her. She deserved better. She’d suffered enough with Townson; she didn’t need another burden.

Slowly, he stood and walked back towards the house. His heart ached with every step he took. The love he’d felt for her had never died. Even if he still didn’t completely understand why she’d married Townson, it didn’t matter. He loved her.

As he reached the small terrace a voice stopped him. “Did you accomplish what you’d hoped?”

When he’d seen Georgiana enter the ballroom earlier, he knew he had found his way to stop Tessa’s flirtations. He didn’t have the strength to resist her. She was and always had been his weakness. Georgiana had reluctantly agreed to help him.

He turned to her and nodded slowly. “I suppose I did.”

“Well, that is a shame,” Georgiana replied and started to walk towards the door.

“What do you mean?”

She stopped and stared at him. “I was married for two years before my husband died. I would have given anything if he had looked at me the way you look at her.”

“It’s for the best.”

She shook her head and blew out a breath. “You are the only one who considers your slight limp to be a defect. Why would you discard a woman who loves you and doesn’t care about it? She’s not after your money or your title. She only wants to love you, and be loved by you.”

Garrett stood there unable to say another word as she walked away. He leaned his head back and looked up at the stars. This was supposed to be the right thing to do. Having Georgiana find them again had been his plan. A plan that suddenly seemed very foolish indeed.

He had to talk with Tessa.

Tonight.

He walked back into the ballroom. After speaking with a few people, he discovered that she’d left. Not that that would stop him. He collected his things and departed for her cousin’s home. He impatiently tapped his cane against the coach floor as they drove the few blocks. Walking up the short flight of steps, he then pounded on the door, determined to rouse everyone in the house if needed.

“My Lord, do you realize the time?” the butler asked as he opened the door.

“Yes, I do. I will speak with Lady Townson now.”

“Sir, she is not at home.”

Garrett pushed his way past the butler but stopped after seeing the two hulking footmen.

“What is going on down there, Gates?”

Garrett looked up to see Tessa’s cousin and her husband staring down at him. “Mr Billings, please excuse the interruption. I must speak with Lady Townson immediately.”

“Lady Townson has no desire to speak with you,” Mrs Billings stated.

“I am sorry, My Lord,” Mr Billings said, “but my wife is correct. Lady Townson will not speak with you tonight. You may try to call on her tomorrow.”

“If she doesn’t come down, I will find her,” Garrett warned. Hearing another door open, he waited for her to look down the stairwell at him, too. Instead, he saw a small figure with long, curly red hair. She couldn’t have been more than four years old.

“Who are you?” she said from the top step.

He knew the Billingses had no children. This little girl had to be Tessa’s.

Oh, dear God, was she his child, too?

He reached for the newel post for support. She couldn’t be his daughter. Tessa would have told him.

Except Tessa had thought he was dead.

It all made sense now. She was the reason Tessa had married Townson. Guilt slithered through his mind. If he hadn’t made love to her that night and gotten her with child, she never would have married Townson. It was all his fault that she married that old bastard.

“Go back to bed, Louisa,” Mrs Billings shouted.

“What is all the commotion?” Tessa asked as she exited another bedroom. “Louisa, what are you doing out of bed?”

The little girl ran to Tessa and confirmed Garrett’s suspicions by burying her head in her mother’s nightdress.

“Tessa, I need to speak with you now. If you don’t come down, I’ll be forced to come up.” Garrett crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

“I will be down after I get Louisa back to bed,” she replied. “Wait in the parlour.”

“As you wish.” Garrett followed the butler into the parlour. He poured himself a snifter of brandy. He drank it down before finally hearing Tessa’s light footsteps approaching.

She stopped on the threshold and stared at him. The redness in her eyes told him how badly he’d hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her again. She wore a white wrapper that only accentuated the pale colour of her cheeks.

“Tessa, please come in and sit down.”

“Just tell me why you are here so I can go back to my room.”

Obviously, she wasn’t about to make this easy on him. “Tessa, please.”

“Very well.” She walked into the room and dropped into the wing-back chair closest to the doorway. Crossing her arms over her chest, she asked, “Why are you here at this hour?”

“I came to apologise.”

“For what? Kissing me? Making me think that maybe you felt something for me again?” she choked out.

“For all that and more.” He finally sat down in a chair near her.

“Go on.”

“Mrs Chambers came out into the garden because I asked her to,” he mumbled. Saying this aloud made it sound even worse than when he’d thought up the foolish plan.

“What?”

Hearing the cold tone in her voice made him wonder if she would ever forgive him. “I thought it would be best if you realized that I wasn’t going to marry you.”

“Of course not, you plan to marry Mrs Chambers.”

“No, I have no intention of marrying her. She only said that so you would think it possible,” he admitted. “Because I told her to.”

Tessa blinked rapidly as if attempting to hold back the tears. “How could you be so cruel? All you had to do was tell me you didn’t want me and I would have left you alone.”

“I do want you, Tessa,” he muttered. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I met you.”

She shot to her feet and stared down at him. “Then why would you do such a hurtful thing?”

“Because … because I am a cripple.”

Tessa stared at him, unable to conceive of what he’d just admitted. How could he think that his insignificant limp could be a burden? Her heart swelled with so many emotions that tears slipped down her cheeks. She fell to her knees and placed her head on his legs.

“You foolish man,” she whispered. “I don’t care if you have a limp.”

“I can’t even ride a goddamned horse.”

“Then we shall take carriages,” she offered.

“I can’t dance with you,” he said softly. “You have no idea how badly I want to dance with you. I want to see your face light up with pleasure as you dance across the floor.”

“Then we shall stand in the background, holding hands and watching the others dance. None of those things matter, Garrett. I love you,” she sobbed. “I never stopped loving you even when I thought you were dead.”

“I love you, too.”

“I have to tell you something else,” she whispered.

“Is it about your daughter?”

Tessa nodded. She knew it would hurt him to learn the truth, but they needed to start fresh with no secrets between them. “I married Townson because I was with child. Your child. That is the only reason I married him. I thought you were dead and I was unmarried—”

He lifted her up and let her rest on his lap. Caressing her head, he said, “Shh, Tessa. After seeing her I figured everything out.”

“No, Garrett.” She shook her head and more tears fell. “She’s not your daughter.”

He stilled in her hair. “She’s not?”

“No. A week after I married Townson, I miscarried.” Tears burned her cheeks. “I had lost you and then I lost our baby too.”

“Oh, God,” he whispered against her head.

“The only positive thing I had to look forward to in that marriage was having your child and knowing that a little piece of you had survived. And then I lost that, too.” She wept.

He pulled her against his chest as tears flooded her. “So we both went through our own hell.” He shifted her slightly on his lap. “I thought you hadn’t loved me.”

“I never stopped loving you, Garrett. Not in five years. Not a single day passed that I didn’t think of you at least once.” She wiped away a tear. “When I saw you at the Weatherlys’ ball, I thought I must be going mad. No one had told me you were alive. I thought you were a ghost.”

“Have you talked to your parents about the letter I sent you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I haven’t spoken to them since my wedding day. They told me I had embarrassed them completely, and I was never to be seen in their presence again.” She bit her lip until she tasted the metallic flavour of blood.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said firmly. “We both did what we thought was necessary at the time. And, despite that, we found each other again.”

She pulled away and looked at him. “I guess that means we are meant to be.”

He drew her closer and kissed her softly. “I believe it does.”

Tessa smiled down at the infant on her lap. How was it that he seemed to get cuter every day? The love she had for her son was almost a perfect match for the love she felt for the man sitting next to her.

“Is it me or did Will just smile at you?” Garrett asked with a grin.

“He’s far too young for a real smile yet. Perhaps in a few weeks.”

Louisa raced into the room and plopped herself on Garrett’s lap. “Papa, you promised to teach me to ride this morning!”

“So I did,” he replied with a slight wince at Louisa’s weight. “But first I need to speak with your mother in private.”

Louisa’s bow-shaped mouth formed a pout.

“Go ask your nurse to dress you in your new riding habit,” Tessa said to appease her daughter.

Louisa’s pout quickly turned into a smile. “I almost forgot about my new habit!” She ran from the room with a giggle.

“Ah, there is nothing like a new dress to make a woman do as you wish,” Garrett said with a chuckle.

“Indeed?”

He leaned in closer and kissed her cheek. “Not all women can be so easily swayed. But maybe this will help.” He took her hand and placed a long box across her palm. “Happy anniversary, darling.”

Tessa blinked back tears as she stared at the box. The past year had been the happiest of her life. A new husband who loved her completely. A new father for Louisa — one who loved the little girl as if she were his own. And now little Will.

“Do I have to open it for you?” Garrett asked.

She shook her head and carefully opened the box. Inside, on a bed of black velvet, was a sapphire pendant. “It’s too much,” she whispered.

“It matches your eyes. And you can wear it for the Weatherlys’ ball. I don’t believe you will have to run from it ever again.”

“Not now.” She moved closer to her husband and kissed him softly.