The Reluctant Dom

Chapter Six

Seth awoke the next morning, feeling drained and sluggish. He’d made it to bed a little after three a.m., but his sleep was anything but soothing.

So many conflicting emotions swirling through him—

kaden’sdying

—mixed with the fear he couldn’t step up and be enough for Leah no matter what he promised her.

He had class at one. Thank God tomorrow was Saturday. He felt he’d need a couple of days to vegetate. It was a little after seven when he stepped into the shower. Not having to work, he could at least get some study time in this morning.

The image of Leah bent over that bench…

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool shower tile. He fisted his cock, stroking, trying to work out a little tension. He wouldn’t deny he’d love to sink his dick into her or feel her lips around him, but she wasn’t his.

Not yet.

Seth stroked, finally able to shove conscious thought out of his mind in lieu of physical pleasure. He pounded his cock. It didn’t take long, and it surprised him that the memory of her coming while strapped to that bench and being spanked by Kaden was what pushed him over.

As he recovered, taking deep breaths, a knock on his bathroom door startled him. He jumped, slipped, nearly fell but caught himself.

“Yeah?” he hoarsely called.

The door opened. Through the opaque shower door glass he made out Leah’s shape.

“I brought your coffee.”

He reddened, embarrassed. “Thanks.”

“Want me to scrub your back for you?”

Despite what he’d just done, his cock immediately stiffened. “No,” he hoarsely said, “I’m good. Thanks.”

“You sure?”

“Um, yeah. Thanks. It’s just…you know…” He couldn’t finish and prayed she wouldn’t open the shower door.

“Too soon?” she offered.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“Did you want French toast or pancakes?”

He looked down at his soft paunch. He wasn’t horribly overweight, but he wasn’t happy with how he’d let himself go over the years. He’d need to get back in shape. Next to Kaden he looked fat. “I need to go on a diet.”

She leaned against the counter. “You need to eat a good breakfast. I’ll make you a salad for lunch.”

What did it say about him that he could have a conversation with her like this?

He’d better get used to it.

“Pancakes, please.”

She sounded happy. “Good. I’ll have everything ready when you get out.”

“Thanks.”

She left. He seriously considered jerking off again, but by the time he finished his shower he’d softened. He shaved, then went to get dressed. He stopped in the bathroom doorway.

Something was off. But what?

He looked around and it hit him. Leah had made the bed.

A wave of guilt swept through him. He’d meant to do it after his shower.

He caught sight of himself in the mirror over the dresser. A week ago, he’d been stuck in his rut but at least with a plan. In the space of just a couple of days his life had taken a hard right turn. In some ways amazing. For the most part…

He wished he could go back. He would settle for his old sucky life if it meant Kaden would always be in it.

Kaden sat at the counter, a plate of food and the newspaper in front of him. “Morning. How’d you sleep?” he asked Seth.

“Fine.”

Leah took Seth’s coffee mug and refilled it, then slid a plate of food in front of him.

Kaden pushed the rest of the paper toward Seth. It felt surreal on a bunch of levels. That last night he was watching…and this morning… Ozzie and fucking Harriet. Literally.

Weird.

“Go ahead and take my truck again today. I’m not going anywhere this afternoon.”

Seth nodded. It was easier to agree than protest.

After breakfast, Seth spread out with his books and laptop at the dining room table. Kaden left him alone, retreating to the study Seth used to think was Leah’s. Now he realized it was Kaden’s. Leah quietly worked around the house, unobtrusively, leaving him alone.

He almost managed to keep his mind on his studies.

A little before lunchtime, Leah paused in the dining room doorway.

“What’s up, hon?” he asked.

“Did you want grilled chicken or turkey for your salad?”

The question took him off guard. “What?”

“What kind of meat?”

“Don’t go overboard for me.”

She stepped inside the room, a hint of thunderclouds rolling through her green eyes. “I’m not. I’m taking care of you.”

He bit back a reply. Wouldn’t most guys kill for this? For their own personal slave?

“Whatever Kade’s having.”

That answer seemed to soothe her. “What time do you think you’ll be home? So I can plan dinner.”

“I’ll just grab something.” He stopped when she frowned again. “I don’t want you guys waiting on me to eat.”

“It’s okay. If you think you’ll be late I can make Kaden’s and have yours ready. I don’t want you to eat fast food.”

“Why doesn’t Kaden weigh three hundred pounds?” he snarked.

She smiled. “I keep him busy.”

Something he could laugh about. And it looked good to see Leah smile.

He leaned back. Before all this shit hit the fan they’d had fun playfully bantering back and forth, gentle teasing that never quite reached outright flirting but still fun and friendly. Not so much during his own marriages or around his wives, just in between.

And there were plenty of times in between.

“You going to keep me busy?”

She flushed a little. It stirred his cock despite his best efforts. “I hope so.”

He waved her to him and pulled her into his lap despite knowing it wouldn’t help his situation. She put her arms around his neck.

“You guys said honesty, so I’ll be honest,” he said. “I don’t know how crazy I can be. How…” He fought to come up with the right words. “If I can keep up a full-time Master act. I’ll do my best to do whatever you need me to do, but I’m probably going to need downtime from that.”

“I know. A lot of the time Kaden and I aren’t doing that.” She smiled. “Well, except for my collar.”

“And running around naked.”

Her smile widened. “I like it. Just because I’m naked doesn’t mean you have to act any different than you normally do. Just…sometimes.”

Hell, he’d had a hard enough time getting his ex-wives naked in bed, much less to run around that way all the time.

“That’ll be good enough for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I’m going to want to be normal, whatever that is, a lot of the time.”

She nodded. “I know. Me too.”

“Just normal naked.”

She grinned. “Right. Normal naked.”

He wished she was wearing more than the long T-shirt and collar. “I know Kaden said something about not being formal for a while. Could we be whatever passes for vanilla normal around here for a couple of weeks? I’ve got exams to study for. Once I get the semester behind me you guys can start showing me full-time formal or whatever you call it.”

She frowned. “You really should start learning some of the whip stuff.”

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking just everyday stuff, like right now. I know we’ve got a limited window of time. I need to ease into this. It’ll make it easier on me in the long run.”

That seemed to make sense to her. She nodded. “Does that mean I need to wear clothes all the time?”

He resisted the urge to stroke her thigh. “How about when I’m trying to study, you should dress like this, at least.”

She grinned. “And when you’re not?”

Man up, asshole.

He shrugged. “Give me a few days before you start springing the full monty on me again, girl.”

She hugged him. “Thank you, Seth,” she whispered.

He put his arms around her and hugged her back.

Wormhole. Here was his best friend’s wife, thanking him for allowing her to run around naked in front of him.

Or he’d died and dropped into some weird mix of Heaven and Hell all swirled together—

kaden’sdying

Leah went to fix lunch. Seth put his things away and found Kaden in his study.

While he was being honest, might as well go all the way. Seth sat and looked at his friend. “What the fuck am I supposed to do without you around, man? You’re my best friend.”

Kaden leaned back in his chair. “You’ll get through it. The two of you will have each other.”

“Are you sure there’s no alternative? Treatment? Clinical trial?” He’d gladly give up a future with Leah to have Kaden alive.

Kaden’s face hardened. He glanced at the open doorway. Leah was in the kitchen, too far to hear his low tone. “If they’d caught it a year ago, I might have considered it. Then the five-year prognosis goes up. Two years ago, I definitely would have. I’m around stage three. They’d have to cut into me to tell for sure. I told them fuck that. Where the tumor is, it’s not operable according to the tests and MRI. Treatment would buy me a couple of months at the cost of what I could otherwise be doing. I will not make myself sicker just to die a little more slowly. You remember my dad.”

Seth nodded. “Okay,” he softly said.

“I think she’s still in denial right now,” Kaden said. “I really do. She’s praying for a miracle.”

“She’ll have to get in line behind me on that one.”

Kaden returned to a normal tone. “I want to give you a lesson this weekend with the singletail. It’s the hardest to learn.”

Seth recoiled, horrorstruck. “I’m not using that on her yet! Especially not right now.”

Kaden smiled. “Relax, I didn’t mean on her. Target practice. You need to get the feel for it, and I want to teach you that now, before…” He didn’t finish, but Seth figured he knew what he meant.

Before he got too sick to teach him.

Kaden changed the subject. “I’m flying to Atlanta in a couple of weeks, to the office up there. I need to put some things in order. I’ll schedule it for after you’re out of classes so you’re home with her. She’s already quit a lot of her activities even though I told her she didn’t have to.”

“You didn’t order her not to?” Seth knew that came out sharper than he intended. Kaden smiled.

“Not for something like that. You’ll see what it’s like. I did insist she finish up that Christmas banquet fundraiser she does every year for Habitat. That’s too important. Plus, she’s going to need something to keep her mind off…stuff. Oh, almost forgot.” He stood and walked to a closed armoire, opened it, and removed two books. “Reading material. Help give you an idea what’s going on.”

Seth read the back covers, both books on BDSM. “This is so whacked, dude.”

“Yeah, but you’re a lucky son of a bitch.”

“How the fuck do you figure that?”

Kaden sadly smiled. “In the end, when all’s said and done, you get the girl.”

Later that night Seth decided to go for a swim of his own. Leah and Kaden had retreated to their bedroom, and Seth didn’t feel like holing up watching TV in his room. Maybe it was as good a time as any to start his own exercise regimen. Wearing himself out would help him work off the apple pie he’d had for dessert and allow him to get to sleep.

He’d been swimming a few minutes when he spotted Leah sitting on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water.

He stopped in the shallow end, near her but not wanting to get too close. He hoped she didn’t want to come in for a swim. At least she was still wearing a T-shirt.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Fucking best bed I’ve slept in, and I can’t sleep,” he tried to joke.

She smiled. He’d turned on the pool light, creeped out by the total darkness otherwise. He loved the way the light shimmered and reflected on her from below. “Is it okay if I sit here and watch you for a little bit?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” Please don’t ask to swim with me.

He swam a fast pace for twenty laps, trying not to notice her sitting there. He stopped at the shallow end to catch his breath.

“I don’t think you’re fat,” she said.

He laughed. “Hellooo, left field.”

She smiled and looked at her hands. “I nearly slapped Jackie at that last Fourth of July cookout you brought her to,” she quietly admitted.

This was news. “What?”

She nodded before meeting his gaze. “You and the guys were out back cooking the ribs. She was in the kitchen with me and Edina and Laura. She was on her third beer or something. The other two were talking about their husbands. She made this really bitchy remark about how you were getting fat and started making fun of you. I dropped a glass on the floor, pretended it was an accident.”

Fat? Hell, he’d been five pounds lighter then than he was now. And now he was only pudgy around the midsection, not obese. But next to Kaden’s trim body he looked huge. “Why?”

“To shut her up. If I didn’t, I was going to slap her.” She took a deep breath. “I wanted to tell her she wasn’t good enough for you. That she didn’t deserve you. That she didn’t know how to treat a man right.”

Thank God he was in the water, because he hardened. Hopefully she couldn’t see. He didn’t know what to say. “Oh.”

“I hated her.” Now it was out. Even after he filed for divorce from Jackie, Leah had never openly bad-mouthed her, although it was obvious she didn’t like her. Leah’s voice filled with emotion. “I didn’t like Kelly or Paula either. At least Kelly seemed to care about you at the beginning. I despised Jackie. I was so glad you divorced her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her voice dropped lower. “You spent more time with us when you weren’t married. I know that’s selfish of me but…” She finally shrugged.

Jackie hadn’t been fond of Leah either. In fact, Seth had angrily defended Leah in a private argument while Kaden’s house was being built. Jackie tossed out the accusation that Leah was trying to seduce him. “You should see the way she looks at you,” Jackie had said. “Almost the way she looks at her husband. It’s disgusting.” He’d told Jackie she was drunk and imagining things.

What had been disgusting was his divorce, trying to ignore the stinging truth that he was only a meal ticket for her, the rumors of her catting around, and having to start over.

And now…

Kaden’s voice startled him. “I told you she’s always taken good care of you.” He walked over and sat at the edge of the pool with Leah, brushed a stray hair out of her face. He kissed her forehead, and she closed her eyes and leaned against him.

What the fuck do you say in a case like this?

Seth didn’t know, so he stayed silent.

“She spent more than one night in a gag after you left with one of those women, didn’t you, sweetheart?”

Leah smiled and nodded.

“Gag?”

“She wouldn’t shut up about how much she hated them, that they weren’t good enough for you. On and on. There were a few nights I gagged her to shut her up.”

Seth laughed despite the twisted knot in his stomach. “This is twenty kinds of übercreepy. You realize that, right?”

Kaden shrugged. “I told you, you’ve starred in her fantasies more times than I can count.”

Okay, make that fifty kinds of übercreepy.

Leah blushed but she smiled again. “I’ve always thought that girl you guys shared that time was a lucky woman.”

Now Seth blushed. Even in the cool water he knew he had to be beet red. “Dude, you told her about that?”

“Why not? It happened before I met her. She was curious.”

Übercreepy was quickly giving way to whacked-out weird.

Kaden sensed Seth was at the end of his emotional rope again. He stood and gently tugged on Leah’s hand. “Let’s leave him alone, sweetheart. We’ve got a lot to do this weekend, and there’s plenty of time to talk later.”

She stood. “Good night, Seth.”

He dumbly nodded, sinking further in the water, watched them return to their room through the sliders.

Lucky woman?

He wouldn’t deny the fantasy had crossed his mind on more than one occasion about a three-way with Leah, but those were limited to his solo sessions when he needed a little extra umph over the hump, so to speak.

Never something he would have seriously contemplated.

He started swimming again, trying to drown Leah’s words out of his head.

A little after eight Saturday morning, Seth rolled out of bed. He stumbled into the shower and stood under the spray, trying to wake up. The week had taken a toll on him, and despite swimming for over an hour after Leah and Kaden went to bed, he’d still had a hard time getting to sleep.

He gave up fighting his morning boner and fisted his cock, let his mind drift to the fantasy of having Leah in his bed. Why the fuck not? Might as well.

He should have expected the tap on the bathroom door. He jumped, startled. “Yeah?”

The door opened. “Coffee.”

“Thanks,” he said, his voice choked.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” His cock didn’t wilt. In fact the sound of her voice made him stiffer.

Fuck.

“Bacon or sausage? I’ve got links.”

He pressed his forehead against the tile, his cock still throbbing in his hand and demanding attention. “Surprise me.”

“Seth?”

“I’m okay. Just not awake yet.”

“Okay.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the door shut. He frantically pounded at his cock, closing his eyes a moment later as his climax took him.

He showered, shaved, and found she had once again made the bed.

He beat Kaden to the kitchen. Leah refilled his coffee and studied him.

“I’m fine.”

“You sounded weird. What was going on?”

He felt his face redden.

Leah’s eyes widened. “Whoops. Sorry.” Her playful smile told him she was anything but sorry.

He had a feeling she would now play some sort of “Catch Seth Jerking Off” game in the morning.

“I told you I’d help you with that.”

He grabbed the newspaper and buried himself in the A section while she fixed his plate. Every time he glanced at her, he spotted her playful smile.

Terrific. That was all he needed.

Kaden appeared a few minutes later. Leah went to get fully dressed. She reappeared a few minutes later, wearing her silver necklace and a conservative short-sleeved shirt and shorts. An hour later, the three of them were browsing through furniture in Sarasota.

Seth felt guilty enough over what was going on. He didn’t want them spending more money on him. He was smart enough however to not fight Leah. Kaden had apparently turned this task over to her. She was bound and determined to get something Seth liked.

Later that afternoon, the men had the pieces spread out on the living room floor with the instructions, trying to assemble everything. Once they were in place, Leah made the men leave Seth’s boxes in his room, and she took over unpacking and arranging.

Kaden drew Seth back to the den and closed the door. “Let her do it. It distracts her. We’ll have whip practice after dinner.”

“Basic Carpentry in the afternoon, and Sadomasochism 101 in the evening. Terrific.”

“You can’t tell me she wasn’t damn sexy the other night.”

“What do you want to hear me say, man? ‘Hell yeah, I’ll do your wife.’”

Kaden grinned. “That’s a start.”

Seth shook his head. “Fucking whacked. Jesus H. Christ, you’re fucking bonkers.”

They met on the lanai after dinner. Kaden had set up an archery target with some balloons taped to it. On the outside table lay several whips of various lengths and styles. Leah was dressed in jeans and an oversized heavy denim shirt Seth suspected was Kaden’s. Kaden took a few minutes to explain some of the basics and differences of the various whips to Seth. When he finished he said, “I don’t expect you to remember all that now, but do you have any questions?”

“Dude, why is she dressed like that?”

“Because I don’t like hurting myself with the whip,” Leah said.

Seth scrunched his eyes shut. “You’re confusing me again. I thought that was the whole freaking point.”

Kaden smiled. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. “Explain it, honey.”

“I’m not a pain slut. Depending on what’s happening, I don’t want to feel it anywhere but on my ass and thighs, and preferably only when in subspace. Trust me, getting nailed in the boob with a singletail would be like you getting nailed in the nuts with it.”

He winced. “Ouch.”

“Right.”

She handed him a pair of protective goggles. Kaden was now wearing his glasses, Seth noticed.

“Why weren’t you wearing them the other night?”

“I always wear eye gear for training.” Leah also put on a pair. “You first, sweetheart,” Kaden said.

“The family that flays together, stays together,” Seth snarked, making his friends laugh.

She picked up one of the whips and expertly uncoiled it, flexing her shoulders and neck much the same way Kaden had.

Kaden pulled Seth back a few steps. She looked around as if judging her clearance. When she was satisfied, she sent the end of the whip at the target and took out one of the balloons on the first try.

“Shit!” Seth exclaimed.

Kaden proudly grinned. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

She proceeded to hit every balloon without missing. When she finished, she coiled the whip and smiled at the men. “Nothing to it.”

“Bullshit,” Seth said. “I’ll end up taking off my own goddamned nose.”

“Hopefully not. Maybe just an ear.”

Leah was usually a bit of a gentle, playful ballbuster with him. It was nice to finally see that side of her personality again. If nothing else, Seth was willing to work with them to keep her pulled out of her emotional cesspool. She reset the target with more balloons while Kaden showed Seth the mechanics of throwing the whip. He then proceeded to take out all the targets without missing a single time.

Leah reset while Kaden practiced with Seth at the far end of the lanai. It didn’t feel smooth and fluid the way both his friends had thrown it. In his hands it felt like a lethal weapon, able to kill without warning, and he felt terrified of it.

“You need to relax into it. If you’re stiff you won’t throw it right. Worse, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Fuck, I’m going to hurt myself anyway.”

Leah finished resetting the target and walked over to stand behind Seth. She wrapped her arms around him, gripped his hand, and showed him the movement without him holding the whip. He tried to focus on her words and not the feel of her body pressed against his. After a few minutes, she handed him the whip and slowly repeated it.

“Don’t worry about force. Worry about accuracy at first. Force will come after you’re accurate.” Then she stepped back with Kaden, out of the way. “Go ahead.”

Seth nervously stared at the target, did a few test flips with the whip to get a feel for it, and threw.

He missed the target, and on the return he threw up his arms and screamed as the end nearly wrapped around him.

Leah and Kaden both laughed. “See why we wear safety goggles for this?”

Seth glared at her but let her step in and tell him what he did wrong and work with him again for a minute. He tried again solo. That time it felt more controlled even though he didn’t come close to hitting the target.

After twenty minutes he felt like his arm was going to fall off.

He handed the whip to Leah. “Can I take a break?”

“Not as easy as it looks, is it?”

“No. I’m going to be fucking sore tomorrow.”

“Get used to it,” Kaden said. “It takes a lot of practice. Lots of blisters, too. We need to get you some gloves.” He picked up another whip and took out the balloons on the target. Seth had managed to strike the target a total of three times but never hit one of the balloons. With each hit, the whip cracked.

“Show-off.”

“Think he’s had enough for tonight, honey?” Kaden asked Leah.

As crazy as this was, Seth felt almost like his friends were back, before the news—

kaden’sdying

—drop-kicked his world on its ear.

Leah smiled. “I think he’s had enough for his first lesson.”

In addition to a sore arm, he’d worked up a hell of a sweat. Maybe a swim would do him good. He helped Kaden return the target to the storage shed and changed clothes. When he returned to the lanai they were gone, probably in their bedroom. Seth turned on the pool light and slowly lapped the pool.

He didn’t bother counting, just took his time, his mind spinning. He rested for a few minutes at the shallow end, his eyes closed, head on his arms.

“How’s the arm?” Leah’s voice startled him.

“Jesus, hon, don’t do that.”

She sat near the steps, back in her T-shirt, feet in the water.

“Sorry.”

He flexed his arm. “Going to hurt like a sonofabitch in the morning.”

“Why don’t you let me fire up the hot tub? You can soak and I’ll rub it out for you.”

Danger, Will Robinson!

“That’s okay. I’ll take a couple of Tylenol.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve given you neck rubs before.”

“Yeah but that was…”

Before.

His entire life would now be comprised of a series of benchmarks he’d rather not consider. Before and After Kaden told him he was dying.

Then Before and After Kaden died.

“Please?” She looked sad, nearly desperate.

He finally nodded. “You stay out of the hot tub though.”

She smiled. “You don’t trust me?”

“Oh, I trust you all right, to get my ass to a point where I can’t back out.” He dropped his voice. “I’m serious, Leah. I’m not ready to jump into this with both feet yet. I need more time to ease into this. I’ll get there, but you gotta let me dip my toe in and get used to the water.” God, that sounded lame.

“I’ll go get it ready.” She pulled the cover off and turned on the jets. She walked inside the house for a moment, and he quickly got out of the pool and transferred to the hot tub.

He sank into it, the perfect temperature for the warm night after the cool swim. Leah returned a moment later with a glass of water and two Tylenol. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

He relaxed as she sat on the edge of the hot tub and worked over his neck, arm, and shoulder, her skilled fingers knowing exactly how to soothe his muscles.

“God, that’s good, babe.”

“It’s supposed to be.”

“I guess you do this a lot, huh?”

She shrugged. “It won’t hurt so bad tomorrow morning. If you’ll not be stubborn, let me work on it for you when you get up.”

“We’ll see.”

That was apparently good enough for her. He closed his eyes and let her massage his sore muscles. He didn’t know how long she sat there with him when she gently patted his shoulder. “How’s that?”

He’d nearly fallen asleep. “Real good,” he mumbled.

She left her hand resting on his shoulder for a moment. Then he felt her place a tender, lingering kiss on the top of his head. “Thank you.”

He reached up and patted her hand. “Why don’t you go on to bed? I’ll be fine. I’ll turn the hot tub off when I get out.”

He finally heard her leave. He didn’t open his eyes until the sliders to their bedroom opened and shut. He didn’t want to watch her walk into that room.

I’m such a fucking dumbass. How the hell did I let myself get talked into this?

He already knew the answer to that one.