The Season

fifteen

"So let me see if I fully understand...." Ella was sitting on flex's bed, watching as Eliza carefully curled a long strand of Alex's hair and arranged it atop her head. "Blackmoor arrived home earlier than usual and surprised the intruder, leaving him to run off without actually removing anything from Blackmoor House?"

"Yes. That's precisely what we think happened."

The three girls were in Alex's bedchamber, preparing for the long-awaited Worthington ball. While, traditionally, they all would have dressed at home and arrived separately, they had agreed that, tonight, they would dress together. Eliza, whom they all adored, had agreed to share her genius for hair and maquillage with them that evening, so Vivi and Ella had arrived, gowns in tow, for tea and were now waiting patiently for her to finish with Alex's hair and move on to them.

Alex didn't fool herself into thinking that she hadn't had an ulterior motive for inviting them this evening, as it had been several days since her kiss with Blackmoor and, while she had seen him a handful of times, the experience had not been repeated. It wasn't that he'd been standoffish. On the contrary, everything with Blackmoor seemed to be restored to the way it had been for years. He arrived at Worthington House for tea, or supper, or dinner, jested with her brothers, chatted with her parents, and was generally his usual charming self.

But not a mention of the kiss! No attempt to repeat it! No reference to it whatsoever, which both frustrated and confused her, leaving her wondering if she was imagining the kiss meant more than it did — after all, Blackmoor had had a particularly difficult time of it that evening, and perhaps the kiss had been a strange occurrence. She'd been running this possibility over and over in her mind and, finally, had decided it was time to tell her friends. She was tired of her stomach twisting every time he entered the room or she heard his voice, irritated by how surly she was beginning to feel about the whole situation, and she needed a dose of objectivity to regain her sanity.

Of course, she hadn't told them yet. She wasn't quite sure how one announced to one's friends and one's maid that she'd been kissed. The whole experience made her feel rather like a fish out of water. The idea of simply blurting it out in the middle of conversation was distasteful — she didn't want to make a scene, especially if it wasn't an event of import. So, instead, she had told them about the burglary at Blackmoor House, which all owed her to shore up the courage to tell them the rest.

Vivi spoke from her place on the settee on the opposite side of Alex's dressing table. "My father said the house was thoroughly ransacked. Did you see?"

"No. Though Gavin said that the damage was mostly confined to the study. He seems to think that the intruder wasn't simply looking for something of value. He was looking for something specific."

"My father said the same," Vivi agreed, "but it seems that no one knows what, exactly, someone would be looking for there... so no one can be sure if the item in question was indeed taken."

"Perhaps it was something that belonged to the former earl?" Ella surmised.

"Perhaps. But wouldn't Gavin know if there was something of importance that his father possessed?" Alex wondered as Eliza fussed over another curl.

"It's possible." Ella ran her hand back and forth over the coverlet. "But the earl's death was such a surprise, maybe not."

"Well, what is most important at this point is that Blackmoor is safe. Between my father and Bow Street, someone will get to the bottom of it." Vivi stood and walked to stand behind Eliza, watching her work as she asked Alex. "Did he sleep at Blackmoor House that night?"

Alex shook her head, garnering a stern look from Eliza as the maid tugged on a curl a touch too firmly. "No. My mother never would have stood for that. He came here after the investigators left."

"Poor Blackmoor, it must have been a difficult night for him." Vivi speculated. "Were you able to talk much when he arrived here? Or was it too late to do so?"

"No, my mother and I waited for him."

Vivi nodded, recognizing that, of course, Alex and the duchess would have waited. "How was he?"

"He was..." Alex paused, looking at her reflection in the mirror, pretending to be caught up in Eliza's work as she realized that now was the appropriate time to tell her friends exactly what had happened. "Fine... tired and certainly overwhelmed, but we,.." She took a deep breath, then lost her courage.

"We stayed up for a time and talked and he seemed to be in fairly good spirits."

"Did he say anything more about the state of the robbery? Suggest any suspects? Mention any clues?"

Vivi laughed at Ella's line of questioning as Alex watched Eliza insert the final pin into her hair. She smiled up at her maid and thanked her, announcing

"There's no one on the island of Britain who is more of a genius with hair than you are, Eliza."

She turned the spot at the dressing table over to Vivi and moved to her wardrobe to retrieve the chemise that she would be wearing under her ball gown that evening. As she did so, Ella prodded again, flopping back on the bed. "Well? Did he?"

Taking another deep breath, Alex answered, "No. He failed to mention any of those things. I rather think he was too busy kissing me."

There was a moment of silence as the words hung in the air of the chamber, and then three gasps erupted in the room, followed by an "Ow!" from Vivi as Eliza accidentally yanked on a strand of her hair.

Alex couldn't help the nervous giggle that escaped from her as she looked from one face to the next. Vivi's shock had quickly turned to excitement; Eliza was the portrait of surprise; and Ella looked thoroughly dumbfounded.

Ella spoke first. "I beg your pardon?"

"He DID? And you haven't TOLD us?" This from Vivi, who had twisted around in her chair and had waved off Eliza.

Which suited Eliza, it seemed, for she couldn't hold back a starry-eyed "Oh! Lady Alexandra!"

Alex sat in a nearby chair, embarrassed by all the attention, and said, "Yes. He did. I didn't tell you because it's not really something that one feels entirely comfortable speaking aloud." Looking at Eliza, she continued, "I wouldn't get too excited, Eliza. I've been given no indication that it will happen again."

Vivi and Ella pounced on that. "What?"

"Why not?" from Eliza.

Alex shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. "Because he's ignoring the whole event!"

Ever the pragmatist, Ella asked, "What do you mean he's ignoring you? I thought you said you'd seen him since?"

"I didn't say he was ignoring me. I said he was ignoring it. I have seen him. He's been here, talked with me, shared meals with my whole family." She looked at her slippered foot, draped over the arm of her chair. "He just hasn't... mentioned... or even appeared to remember... the kiss."

"How is that possible?" Vivi asked. "Surely, he must be at least more... attentive? Than before?" She looked to Eliza for support. The maid nodded eagerly.

Alex let out a frustrated breath. "Oh, he's being the perfect gentleman. Charming, entertaining — entirely Gavin. It's not as though he's avoiding me. It's as though it never happened. Which I suppose is better than last time."

Ella and Vivi met each other's gaze. Ella said, "I beg your pardon. Again? Last time?"

"There was a LAST TIME?" Vivi queried excitedly.

"Oh, Lady Alexandra!" This, again, from Eliza.

"Hold." Alex slashed a hand through the air, leveling a gaze at Eliza, then Vivi. "Don't go off into some fantasy world. This is not as rose-colored as you seem to think," she continued grumpily. "If you keep looking at me, we're never going to be ready for the ball tonight."

"Who can think about a ball at a time like this?" Vivi interjected, even as she turned to face the mirror again, offering Eliza her back. "You simply cannot expect that we wouldn't be more interested in this conversation than in something as trivial as hair." The maid nodded agreeably but lifted the hair iron nevertheless.

Ella spoke up, "Excellent attempt at evasion, Alex, but you failed to answer the question. There was a 'last time'?"

"Not exactly," Alex mumbled.

"How, exactly, then?"

"You'd make an excellent Bow Street Runner yourself, Ella," Alex said grouchily, ignoring her friend's nod of thanks. "All right. The evening of the Worthington House dinner, Gavin and I were on the balcony, talking, and I thought he might kiss me. But he didn't. And then he summarily avoided me for a fortnight."

"Ah... so that's what put you in such a vicious mood for days later," Ella pointed out.

"I was not in a vicious mood!" Alex looked over her shoulder for support from Vivi only to catch her and Eliza sharing a wry look in the dressing table mirror. "Traitors. All of you."

Vivi smiled, careful not to move her head. "Go on."

"There isn't much more to say. The other night, after the robbery at Blackmoor House, we found ourselves alone in the library and... he kissed me."

"Oh! Lady Alexandra!" Eliza exclaimed yet again, causing Alex to wonder if her maid had lost control of her linguistic faculties.

"How very excellent!" exclaimed Vivi.

"Well, I thought so, too... but now... I'm not so certain it was of any import whatsoever."

"Nonsense. Kissing is most important. I repeat, how very excellent!"

"Your hopeless romanticism isn't helping this situation, Vivi. I assure you this is nothing to be sighed over. This is real. And if we'd been caught, I'd have been ruined. Technically, I'm ruined anyway."

"Nonsense," said Ella, "everyone knows that you're not truly ruined unless you get caught in the act. I defy you to show me one female who goes to the altar without kissing her betrothed."

"Ruined! How exciting! How romantic!" Vivi waxed rhapsodic. Ella and Alex looked at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"NOT exciting, Vivi. Decidedly NOT romantic," Alex protested. "Romantic is being kissed, then wooed. Or wooed, then kissed. I assure you there has been no wooing!"

Vivi continued starry-eyed and lost to the excitement. "He KISSED you! BLACKMOOR KISSED YOU!"

Ella interjected, "And the entire house shall know she's ruined if you continue at that volume, Vivian. Not that you are, Alex."

"Thank you," Alex said.

Vivi lowered her voice. "I am sorry. I simply got carried away."

"It is all right. I knew before I told you that you were likely to react like we were all caught up in some kind of gothic novel," Alex offered with a sigh.

She continued, hearing the sadness in her own voice, "While I am certainly in no position to understand what should occur now, I feel certain that being ignored is not it!"

"To be fair, it doesn't seem that he is ignoring you," Ella pointed out, ever the pragmatist.

"You’ll understand if that doesn't enhance my mood," Alex said shortly, then exhaled in frustration. "This is exactly why I promised myself I would not husband hunt this season. I swore an oath to stay above the fray! The entire male species is unintelligible!"

"Indeed," said Ella, speculating aloud, "this is an odd turn of events. And I thought he was courting Penelope." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"You did?" Alex looked up in surprise.

"Ella!" Vivi admonished. "That is most certainly not what Alex needs to hear at this particular moment."

"Well, it is clearly an incorrect conclusion," said Ella, defensively. "I mean, if he were, he wouldn't have kissed Alex!"

"Why did you think he was courting Penelope?" Alex cut straight to the point.

"No reason, really, except that at most gatherings we've all attended, Penelope has been... in rather close proximity to him." Seeing the disappointment on Alex's face, she added quickly, "But it's probably me imagining things. I do that, remember?"

Vivi jumped in quickly to agree, "Yes. You do. It is far more likely that Penelope has been close to him because she's like a creeping ivy — lovely, but damaging. Blackmoor kissed you, Alex, which clearly means that you're the person in whom he is interested. He wouldn't have done it if he were angling for Penelope Grayson. I'm certain he's of better stock than that."

"With the exception of his recent behavior toward you," Ella added.

"Ella!" Vivi's tone was amazed. "It would do you well to stop speaking until you have something helpful to say. There are times when your inability to distinguish between what is appropriate and inappropriate astounds me."

"Well, that would make his ignoring the whole event more understandable," Alex said with more calm than she felt. "After all, he had a particularly difficult evening and was most certainly on edge. He's always felt comfortable with me, so perhaps the kiss just... happened."

"Alex" — Vivi was matter-of-fact — "kisses don't just happen"

"We don't know that. We've never been kissed."

"I think that's exactly her point, Alex," Ella offered. Alex shook her head. "But how could we even speculate on this? We've only been out for two months!"

"We can speculate on this because we know that if we were caught kissing, we'd be forced into marriage," Ella replied, "and, since most people we know have not been forced into marriage, we can assume they don't go around kissing everyone in the vicinity." She offered Vivi a smug look. "You see? I can be helpful."

"Oh, please," Alex pressed on. "I've been kissed once and almost kissed once in the span of three weeks, and I haven't been caught. It can't be that out of the ordinary. Maybe he's kissing Penelope, too."

"Ugh." Ella could not hide her disgust at this idea. "I do not want that picture in my head."

"You're the one who sent her down this path!" Vivi stood, Eliza having finished arranging her hair in long, gorgeous dark curls. "You deserve to be disgusted. I have no sympathy for you." Turning to Alex as Ella slid onto the bench in front of the dressing table for her turn, Vivi said earnestly, "I don't know much about kissing or about courting, Alex, but I do know that Blackmoor has always adored you. Always."

"Then why is he ignoring me? Why hasn't he mentioned it? Why hasn't he tried to kiss me again?" She gasped, covering her mouth. "What if I was terrible at it?"

"You weren't," Vivi said.

"Certainly not," Ella agreed.

"Oh, how do you know?" Alex said, now enveloped in self-doubt. "Maybe I did it all wrong!"

"This might be a good time to discuss the kiss in question," Ella offered. "What was it like?"

"I thought it was wonderful! I wanted to do it again, immediately! But what if it was awful and I just didn't know it?!"

"That simply cannot be the case!" Vivi shook her head in earnest.

"Indeed," Eliza broke her silence, "if it made you want to do it again, and soon, 'twas a good kiss."

"For me... but what about for him?"

"He had to have enjoyed it, Alex," Ella said.

Alex's frantic frustration bubbled over. "Then why isn't he interested in me? Why doesn't he want to do it again? Maybe he does want Penelope!" Her voice became small. "Why doesn't he want me?"

"Alex," Ella asked curiously, "are you saying... Do you want him!"

Alex thought carefully about Ella's question. Did she want Gavin? "Well... the kiss was quite lovely."

"Of course, it was," Vivi said, "but... what about the man himself? Could you love him?"

Love? Gavin? She looked at the other three girls, each staring back at her as though she were about to reveal some history-altering secret. It was too much to think about, really. "I... I don't know. I've always thought of him as a brother. But recently... everything has changed. He kissed me and I wanted him to and it... everything feels different. But I don't know what to think. Maybe nothing is different to him. Maybe it didn't mean anything to him."

Vivi walked over to Alex, then took her shoulders in hand and spoke with firm conviction, "I may not know much about this kissing business, Alex, but I do know that Gavin would never do anything to hurt you. Including kissing you if he didn't mean it at least a little."

Alex offered Vivi a half smile. "You're right, but what if that's the problem? What if he means it only a little?"

Vivi went quiet for a long time before her face brightened in a conspiratorial smile. "Well, then, we’ll just have to make sure he ends up meaning it a great deal."