The Soul Mate

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Xan finally added something new to my regime. Only instead of putting bullets in the guns, he’d decided instead to teach me how to relax. When I asked him how any of this pertained to fighting he gave me a pointed look.

“When Skin Eaters are chasing you down, fangs chomping at the bit, slathering and sloshing all over the place, ready to rip into you, make you dinner, and use your bones for dessert picks, what exactly do you want to be focused on?”

I swallowed hard picturing just that. “Shooting them the head,” I answered timidly.

He laughed.

“Say you are overwhelmed with fear for your life, you’re alone, being chased and those monsters are closing in on you and you only have one gun. Tell me, what are you going to do?”

I shrugged. “Try and shoot them all in the head?”

“Good luck with that.” He sighed. “It’s hard but if you can relax enough to not be overwhelmed when you are in danger it might just save your life. It’s important to have a clear mind with multiple targets. Shoot at one while you’re kicking another. When he’s down, shoot the other, it might be the only way you get out alive. But you’re not going to be able to do any of that if you are half crazed with fear.”

“Wow,” I said, surprised by the conviction in his voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so serious before.”

“I can leave", He threatened. "Right now.”

“Okay.” I quickly conceded. “Let’s relax me.”

He stood behind me, had me close my eyes, shake out my arms and neck in an attempt at clearing my mind.

It didn’t exactly work.

“Forget about camp Trin. About everyone here. Don’t think about chores or Gerik’s bad taste in hair styles.”

I snorted.

“Just erase your mind. Think of a chalkboard and wipe everything away. Take deep breaths, remember, in through your nose out through your mouth, just like I showed you.”

He walked around me. “The mind is a pretty awesome thing fată, you can lose yourself inside it if you want. Let the world disappear. You just have to remember to pull yourself back out again.”

We were near the edge of the front lot, surrounded by all things green. Xan had picked this particular spot because of the oak trees, their large canopy’s, the tall grass and wildflowers growing around them. “It was peaceful”, he’d said, “the best place to relax.”

We were close enough to the creek, that I could hear the faint rushing sound of water over the rocks, and every so often the chirp or caw of bird. The buzzing of insects would get loud and then quiet as they flew around me. I could hear the faint drone of voices, it was impossible not to, but we were far enough from the living lot that it wasn’t loud or distracting.

“Good,” Xan said. “Good. Don’t forget the breathing.”

Pssh. As if he’d ever let me.

“Fată, before you completely let go, choose a word or phrase, something to ground you as you slip away. Something that will remind you that you need to come back to me.”

I felt Xan’s warm breath against my ear as he leaned in close. “And remember Trin, your safe here, the wards are strong and I’m not leaving. Eşti în siguranţă.”

Eşti în siguranţă. I’m safe. Something that felt like déjà vu flickered inside me.

A kaleidoscope of reds, blues, purples and greens flashed before me. I watched them change shape and form as they danced across my line of sight turning themselves inside and out. I became transfixed, mesmerized, as I cascaded further into the deep recesses of my mind.

My vision of colors and shapes tunneled than widened as a burst of white light broke through the colors.

I felt soft and feathery grass beneath me. The rush of water, pouring down the side of the mountain ledge into the deep warm springs, filled my ears, soothing me.

I smiled. He was singing again. For me, only for me. How had I lived this life without him by my side? My past was unfathomable to me now. He was everything; he was my now, my future, my forever.

Something was tickling my arm. A spider! I hated spiders! I screamed, jumping up and shook the nasty creature off me, screaming even after the insect was gone.

Warm arms wrapped around me from behind, the contact electrifying and instantly soothing. I sighed against it, reveled in the familiarity, the passion and the love I found there.

“I’ve got you Treime, you’re safe here. I’m not leaving. You’re safe.”

I’m safe.

“Trinity?” Someone was tapping on my forehead.

“Trinity?”

I blinked my eyes protesting the intrusion. A shadow of a man stood in front of me. “Trin? Wake up.”

My heart jumped. “Xan?” I opened my eyes.

Xan was looking at me strangely. “You did really well… Where did you go fată?”

“I’m not really sure.” But I felt as if I’d just been torn kicking and screaming from a really great dream.

He studied me for a second longer. “Come on you’ve got drills to do, then you get to use me as a human punching bag.”

“Live drills?”

Xan grinned at the anticipation in my voice.

“Not yet.” He tapped me on the nose like one would a child and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You keep doing that Trin and I’m going to be forced to kiss you again.” He leered at me. I quickly put my tongue away.

“Was it really that horrible fată? Kissing me?” His tone suggested annoyance. Xan, I assumed, didn’t get rejected very often.

Uh, I didn’t want to have this conversation. I looked at my bare feet. The very tips of my toes were still painted hot pink. Nail polish. Who would have thought it would ever be so unattainable? I thought of Fifi and her bright red nails and almost laughed at the idea of her being willing to share nail polish with me.

“Trin?”

Okay, so he wasn’t going to drop it. I didn’t know Xan well enough to know the best way to mollify his ego, or if such a thing was even possible.

“Xan,” I said, still trying for avoidance. “How about we get back to practice?”

“Trin,” He responded, more than equipped to beat me at my own game. “How about you answer the question?”

Ugh.

“It was… um… interesting,” I finally said.

He narrowed his eyes. “In what way?”

I blew out a breath. If he wanted the truth, then I’d give him the truth. It was no more than he would do if the situation was reversed. “In a not so good way,” I conceded.

It was almost if Xan had been expecting an answer along those lines. He didn’t seem surprised, just quirked an eyebrow and turned around, suddenly very interested in the guns he’d brought to practice. I felt bad and I wasn't quite sure why, it wasn’t as if Xan had trouble finding girls.

The more I thought about the kiss the more I wondered about my reaction to it. I hardly found Xan unattractive, quite the opposite. It hadn’t been me that was personally repelled by him it had been something… else.

I was willing to bet that whatever was wrong with me had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Gerik’s power over me.

I left practice with a bevy of questions for Gerik. Starting with his hair braiding legend, I was going to throw in a splash of “why do I have my own special brand of male repellent” and eventually end with a big old bowl of “what the hell is really going on with us and don’t give me that ‘we’re special crap’ any more”. I wanted answers, no more vague responses.

“Hey Trinity.” Stevo smiled as I walked past him.

My body instantly recognized Gerik’s the closer I got to his side of the living lot. The pull was stronger than I’d ever felt it before. I was almost to his trailer when my body clenched, and a sudden burning need to touch Gerik took me over. I started jogging for his front door.

“Trinity!” Stevo re-appeared out of nowhere. “Don’t go in-

I burst through the door.

“there,” He finished.

The door to Gerik’s small room was closed but the sounds coming from the tiny room were unmistakable. Mortification set in. The draw to Gerik had been incredibly strong without him near me. I’d been able to sense his pleasure and I’d wanted him because of it. I felt suddenly nauseated but glad for the sickness. Who wanted to experience the pleasure of someone else’s sex?

“I’m sorry, Trinity.” Stevo looked like he was about to cry. At sixteen he was even younger than Tahyra had been when I’d lost her. He wasn’t nearly as reclusive or as shy as his older brother Hockey, but he was still very sensitive.

I shook my head, unable to speak.

“Come on, let’s go get some coffee.” Stevo held out his hand. I grasped it just as Gerik’s bedroom door opened.

“Shit,” Gerik said, reaching behind himself for a blanket to cover his nakedness.

“Nice to see you, Trinity,” Onyx piped up cheerfully, her head peeking out from around Gerik.

I could only stare. Sweaty and flushed, his hair a mess, Gerik looked like the poster child for sexual indulgence. My body instantly responded, and the burning need for the man in front of me had unfortunately resumed. Apparently magic co-exists separately from my brain cells.

“Can we help you with something?” Onyx asked, “Or are you just going to stand there and gawk?”

Oh holy Goddesses. I’d never wished anyone dead until now. That man is mine and I will wage war against her the likes of which no one has ever seen. May the birds of Ares pick the skin from her bones and vultures use her leftovers to feed their young.

Squeezing Stevo’s hand, I ground my teeth together, trying not to explode.

“He is mine,” I told Onyx, my voice shaking, “You-

“Trinity.” I jumped at the sound of Gerik’s voice. He was staring down at me with his beautiful blue eyes, all knowing, and full of guilt.

Gods, what was wrong with me? This wasn’t me. I didn’t wish people dead over guys I’d only known for a few months.

I cleared my throat, just to make sure my voice didn’t break. “Stay away from me, Gerik. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

Smiling with satisfaction, Onyx disappeared back into his bedroom.

Something cold and painful slithered through me and I felt the need to take back what I said. My betraying body still begged to go to him, to touch him, and connect with him on any level.

“Don’t fight it,” He whispered. My eyes flared. I couldn’t be certain if he’d spoken the words aloud or in my mind. But it didn’t matter. How dare he sleep with her then have the nerve to tell me to accept the fact that I had somehow been magically shackled to him?

I pressed my palms to my temples and screamed within, forcing the need for him back to bowels of my mind.

He winced.

The feelings fled abruptly. And I left.