The Street Where She Lives

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MELANIE HIT the freeway, enjoying the sun and wind in her face courtesy of eighty miles an hour in the Miata, a car she could no longer afford since she’d lost her job this morning.

Talk about lousy Monday mornings. Worries started to creep in past the numbness, so she sped up.

A girl had to do what a girl had to do. And what she had to do was ignore the fact that she had no job, no rich husband and her thirty-fourth birthday looming around the corner.

How had she gotten so damn old? Craning her neck, she stared at her face in the rearview mirror. Great hair, artfully wild. Makeup emphasizing her still fab mouth and eyes. Clothes designed to make a grown man stand up and beg. She looked downright amazing, if she said so herself.

And she would have stayed home and proven that, if she’d had anywhere to go or someone to do it with, but the sorry truth was, most of her friends had long ago settled down, and the few that hadn’t were going barhopping, “slumming” as they called it, and quite frankly, she’d felt exhausted at the thought.

“Oh, God,” she muttered, gripping the wheel. “I am old!” Maybe she should turn around and do the barhopping thing, just to show she could still flaunt it. Maybe…ah, hell, she was already here.

Getting off the freeway at the first South Village exit, she ran into midmorning traffic. Then she had to circle Rachel’s block twice before she got a parking spot, so by the time she got out of her car, she was good and ready to rumble.

Halfway up the walk, someone called her name, and not just any someone, but a tall, dark and handsome someone with a voice that had haunted her dreams ever since New Year’s Eve. Garrett.

She could still hear his last words to her whenever she closed her eyes. A one-night stand isn’t going to be enough for me, Melanie. Not with you. If you ever want more, you know where I live.

She bared her teeth at him in the closest thing to a smile she had at the moment. “I don’t want more, in case you’re asking.”

He’d been raking his small front yard, wearing soft jeans and a T-shirt-both of which emphasized his long, muscled form-looking nothing like what she’d have pictured a stodgy dentist looking like on his day off.

But then again, there wasn’t a stodgy inch on Garrett, not a one. Setting the rake in front of him, he leaned on it and studied her. “I wasn’t asking.”

“Why not?” she let out before she could stop herself. Damn it, that question had come out sounding far too needy. Terrific. Well, chalk it up to a spectacularly bad day.

And why was she attracted to a man who’d called her a bad sister anyway? But attracted she was, and knew by the quiet heat in his eyes that she wasn’t the only one feeling it.

“I wasn’t asking,” he said, “because this is something you have to decide on for yourself.”

Her breath caught at the calm certainty in his voice. “Decide what?”

He tossed aside the rake and moved close. His big body should have intimidated her; instead, the way he stood so near felt…protective, even lightly possessive, and her knees wobbled.

“Decide when it’s time for the games to be over,” he said quietly. “So there can be an us.”

“Us?”

“Oh, yeah.” His fingers swept a strand of hair out of her face, and the touch to her cheek made her shiver. “There could be such a perfect us, Melanie. If you’d let it happen.”

Baffled, confused and extremely, humiliatingly close to tears, she ripped her sunglasses off and stared up at him. “Don’t mess with me, Garrett. Not today, it’s been a pisser.”

“I’m not messing with you.”

“But…you don’t even know me.”

“Don’t tell me you believe in lust at first sight, but not love?”

“Love.” The word choked her, she had no experience with it, none at all. “You’re insane, you know that?”

With another gentle, tender touch that made those burning tears spring to her eyes, he lifted her chin. “Tell me you don’t feel it, Melanie. That you haven’t felt it since that night.”

“That night we both agreed what we’d done was stupid.”

“I never thought anything of the sort. Never,” he added firmly when she bit her lower lip. “I only wished we’d waited until you’d been ready for what really happened between us that night.”

“Which was?”

“The emotional connection. Look me in the eyes and tell me, and I’ll believe you.”

“I…” His eyes were deep, intense…and sincere. Oh, God, he meant it. And because he did, she couldn’t muster up a bravado smile or a lie, not to save her sorry soul.

“Say it. Say the word and I’ll walk away.”

“I…can’t,” she whispered, shocked.

He rewarded her by lowering his mouth to hers in a kiss that didn’t involve instant ravaging. No tongue, no teeth, no dirty words. Just firm, warm lips with so much emotion behind it, she found herself clinging.

And then he pulled away. “I only ask one thing,” he said a little huskily. “But it’s a deal-breaker if you can’t give it.”

Dazed, she looked up at him. Didn’t he know she’d give him anything? It shocked her to the very core, but it was the truth.

“I trust you. But in return, Melanie, you have to trust me implicitly.”

“What does trust have to do with anything?”

He smiled, and the sadness in it surprised her. “Everything. Take, for instance, the way you do everything in your power to make sure Ben and Rachel don’t get back together, even though you know in your heart that’s where they belong.”

“Wait a minute. I don’t-”

“Don’t you? Come on, Melanie. You must know in your heart they belong together, and yet you can’t quite handle the thought of Rachel being happy before you.”

“No, I-”

“You’ve purposely sabotaged her happiness because you’re not happy.”

My God, that was insane. She wouldn’t do that to her sister, she-

She’d done that to her sister.

Staggering back, she sat on the front step, ignoring the silk of her dress and how she couldn’t afford to replace it. “My God. I’m a bitch.”

“No.” Hunkering down before her, he took her hand in his. “You’re passionate and willful and a free spirit. I trust you to fix this. So, I guess the question is, do you trust me in return? To be there for you?”

In her book, trust was a dirtier word than love, and finding her pride, she yanked her hand free. “You’re right, that’s a deal-breaker.” She stood up. Her heart cried out at the prospect of walking away, but that’s what she was doing.

She’d hauled open the front door of Rachel’s house when he spoke again, his voice low and hoarse with regret. “Goodbye, Melanie.”

She opened her mouth, but her goodbye wouldn’t come. So she simply let herself inside and shut the door.

Then leaned against it and took a deep, shaky breath. A very small part of her feared she’d just ruined the best thing that might have ever happened to her.

The bigger part of her said screw the big jerk. She stormed the stairs and found Rachel in her studio. “Am I selfish?” she demanded.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Rachel said.

“Yeah, yeah, hello. Hugs and kisses.” Melanie put her hands on her hips and studied her sister critically. She wore nothing over her head today, and the soft fuzz had indeed grown into hair, albeit short, short hair. But somehow the way it fell against her face suited her. So did the peach lip gloss, which happened to be the only makeup she had on. Though she was still too thin, the cutoff jeans and tank top emphasized her small frame and the few curves she had. Rachel was, Melanie had to admit, still beautiful. “So am I? Selfish?”

Rachel studied her for a long moment. “You can be,” she said honestly.

Yeah. Damn it. She’d known it. “Did you do Ben yet?”

Rachel blinked. “I thought you wanted me to do Adam.”

Melanie stalked the rest of the way into the studio, a little put out to realize how right Garrett had been. She’d always thrived off Rachel needing her-her and no one else. With Ben around, and Rachel glowing…she’d indeed felt threatened.

God, she hated that about herself. “Okay, look. The truth is, the sexual tension between you and Ben is hot enough to boil water, so maybe you should get it over with.”

Rachel put down her pencil. “What are you up to?”

It was automatic to deny, and she opened her mouth to do just that, but then shut it and sighed. “Oh, Rach. I’ve screwed up good this time.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Rachel immediately came toward her, arms out, offering a hug. “What’s happened? It’s Monday. Shouldn’t you be at work?”

Melanie soaked up the affection she didn’t deserve, then pulled back. “Forget that for now. I have to tell you something. And I don’t really have a gentle way to say it.”

“You don’t have a gentle bone in your body. Why start now? Just spill whatever it is. You’ll feel better.”

She doubted that. “Well… I lost my job.”

“Oh, Mel.”

She lifted her hands, shook her head. “Wait. No. That’s not what I meant to say. For once, this is about you, not me.” She dragged in a deep breath. “Okay, here goes. I discouraged you from Ben because I didn’t want you to be happy.”

Rachel blinked. “What?”

“I mean, I wanted you to be happy, which is why I was into the whole Adam thing, but to be really, really, really happy you need Ben, and I discouraged that because I didn’t want you to be really, really, really happy until I was.”

Rachel let out a little laugh. “I thought you gave up smoking dope.”

“I did. Damn it, I haven’t been smoking. And I mean it. I encouraged the wrong man, Rach, and I’m trying like hell here to fix that. Ben floats your boat, feeds your soul, is your other half, however you want to say it, and we both know it.”

Rachel stared at her for a long beat, then turned away. “Yeah. Well, it’s too late. He’s leaving. Tomorrow, in fact.”

“And you’re going to let him?”

“Let him?” Rachel laughed again, though there was no mirth in the sound. “Melanie, no one stops that man when he’s got an idea in his head.”

“You could.”

“And have him regret it? No way. He was meant to go.”

“And you’re just going to watch him do it. Again.”

“That’s right.”

Melanie nodded. Fine. She’d done what she could. Anymore and she’d have to be a saint. There was no doubt she was not a saint.

Goodbye, Ben.

Goodbye, Garrett.

She grabbed her purse. Yes, it was early, but this was South Village. She could shop till she dropped around the clock, and she needed that desperately now.

Thank God for credit cards…

BEN HAD GOTTEN UP early to take his last photos of the people in South Village. Midmorning, he stepped back inside the foyer of Rachel’s house and smelled burned eggs, which meant Emily was cooking again. She had the morning off school for teacher conferences. A smile tugged at his lips that she’d cooked rather than sleep in, before he remembered this would be his last day enjoying his daughter’s attempts at cooking.

His flight was tomorrow. Smile gone, he moved into the kitchen in time to hear Rachel say, “I don’t like the idea of you going into Los Angeles for someone you met off the Internet.”

“Mom! It’s not a porn convention, it’s Alicia.”

“You have no idea if this Alicia is who she says she is.”

“But she is! She’s twelve, like me, and goes to a middle school that sucks, like me. She’s my best friend and we want to meet.”

“Who’s idea was it? Yours or hers?”

“Both.”

“And how long have you two been talking?”

“You know this already. A couple of months.”

“It sounds unsafe, honey.”

Emily tossed down the wooden spoon on the stove. “You’re so mean!”

“Stop,” Ben said, grabbing her when she would have whirled out the room. “Hold on. I don’t want to hear you talking to your mom in that tone.”

“But she talks to me like I’m a baby.”

Rachel stood up. “You are my baby.”

“Mom!”

“Okay, hold on.” Ben spun Emily around so she and Rachel faced each other. “Look at your mom. Listen to her.”

“But Dad-”

“Listen.” He glanced at Rachel. “Obviously you’re worried about the whole unknown factor with Alicia.”

“Of course! She’s too young to take the bus by herself into the heart of L.A. and meet someone I don’t know.”

“I agree.” Ben gently squeezed the glaring Emily. “So why don’t I go with you, Em? Wouldn’t that work?”

“I’ve been informed parents aren’t allowed,” Rachel told him.

“Bad choice, sweetness.” Ben tsked at Emily over that. “If you change your mind about that today, let me know and I’ll-”

“Us,” Rachel corrected. “We’ll both go.”

“Us. If you change your mind and want us to take you, then you’ve got a deal.”

“But you’re leaving,” Emily reminded him, reminded them all, and her voice cracked a little on the last syllable, cracking his heart as well.

“Yeah.” Leaving. His middle name. “But I could take you into L.A. with your mom tomorrow and then leave right after.”

Emily brooded over that for a moment. “Could we go to, like, a restaurant or something, and you guys let us have our own table?”

Ben slid his gaze to Rachel. “Rach?”

“Fine. But I still don’t like it-” She broke off when Emily leaped forward and bear-hugged the life right out of her.

“You’re the best, Mom!”

Rachel shook her head and laughed. “Could you do me a favor and try to remember that?”

With a grin, Emily danced out of the room. A moment later they heard the front door slam as she left to catch her bus.

“I wish you hadn’t agreed to that,” Rachel said, sitting back down at the table.

“Why? After this Asada thing, meeting an online friend seems pretty tame, especially with us right there.”

“At a different table.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to her, Rach.”

“You’re not going to always be there.”

He stared at her bowed head as she calmly paid bills, and marveled that she never broke stride in writing her checks while she managed to dig in hard at his heart. “I thought we were okay.”

“We are.”

“So what’s the matter?”

“Do you really need me to spell it out?”

“I’m a guy,” he said so despondently she actually let out a laugh. “I need everything spelled out.”

“Well, we could start with Asada.”

Just the name on her lips swamped him with guilt. “Who’s dead as a doornail.”

“Not in my dreams, he’s not.”

Another nail in his heart. “Rach-”

“No. I’m sorry.” Tipping her head back, she stared at the ceiling. “It’s Emily, too. I just realized how much she’s growing up. I mean look at her, she no longer even needs me, and I’ve…I’ve just come to understand my show of strength with her is really just a farce.”

“You’re an incredible mom.”

“Thanks. It’s just…”

“Just what, Rach?”

“You’re out of here tomorrow.” She smiled sadly. “And I just might admit to missing you this time.”

He reached for her hand, took the pen out of it and linked their fingers. “I’m going to miss you, too. So damn much. Do you remember the other night? In your bed? Where we came together like we’d never been apart?”

“I remember.”

“You were into my touch, and God knows, I was into yours.” He pulled her up against him. “Neither of us can have what we really want,” he whispered, skimming his lips over her ear. “But wouldn’t it be nice if we could have one more night?”

“Ben-”

He opened his mouth and sucked the edge of her ear-lobe into his mouth. Her fingers tightened on his, her breath left her lungs in a whoosh. As he took his mouth on a tour down her throat, her eyes drifted closed. “Ben, what are you doing?”

“Getting you there,” he said. “To that one spot we can both share, where we can both be happy.”

“Mindless sex?”

“If that’s all we can have, what’s wrong with that?”

“Spoken like a true red-blooded male,” she said on a breathless laugh, but he had her, he could feel her softening beneath his hands, which were roaming her body now, could hear it in her breathing against his shoulder. She tilted her face a little, and when he gently touched his mouth to hers, she opened for him, nipping at his lower lip, then soothing it with a lazy swipe of her tongue.

As an act of acquiescence, it was an irresistible offer, an artless seduction.

“Mel’s here. She went shopping though.”

“Shopping is good.”

“This won’t change anything.” She sucked on a patch of skin at his throat, making his knees weak. “Nothing at all.”

“No,” he agreed, catching his breath when her hands ran down his chest. “Rach…” His eyes crossed when she boldly caressed his thighs…between them. He struggled to remember they were right in the kitchen. “Upstairs-”

Her fingers did the talking, outlining the erection he sported, which was threatening the seams on his jeans. His body arched slowly into her exploring hand. Stifling a groan, he caught her fingers, then lifted her in his arms.

With a laughing gasp, she held on. “Bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

“And I thought you were so adventurous.”

“I’ll give you adventurous in your bed.”

When they got there, he tumbled her to the mattress and followed her down, carefully pinning her arms over her head, holding her captive while he slowly and surely stripped her bare. Insinuating himself between her thighs, he looked into her beautiful eyes. Her beautiful, wet eyes. His heart cracked and broke. “Ah, no. Rach-”

“Love me, Ben. Just shut up and love me.”

Hadn’t he always?

“This has to last us,” she whispered. “After this…I can’t do it again, I can’t-” Her breath hitched. “I can’t keep watching you go-”

“Shh.” He bent his head for a kiss, filling his hand with her breast, indulging himself in her softness, the feel of her, the sounds that came from her throat, the taste of her skin… She was hot, ready and more than willing when he slid down farther, running his mouth over every inch.

The way she arched and squirmed and cried out nearly undid him, so he held her writhing, damp body still. If she so much as touched him, she’d take him right over the edge. He might have let her, too, if he hadn’t wanted more, so much more.

“Ben…please, now.”

“Now,” he agreed, and put his lips on her, there.

She bucked right into his mouth. Perfect. Holding on, he took her slowly, using his tongue, his teeth, teasing her with soft, little licks, and when she was mewling at him, he pushed her harder, switching to long, languid strokes that choked another cry out of her.

Her head thrashed on the pillow, her fingers fisted in his hair, pulling, holding him…as if he intended to go anywhere. “Come for me,” he whispered. “Come in my mouth.” He slipped a finger into her soft folds, coaxing the sweet spot on her body into a hard little bud.

“Don’t stop,” she begged him, shamelessly arching into his hand. “Please…don’t stop.”

“Not on my life,” he promised, and watched her fall apart for him.

When she’d stopped shuddering, he surged to his knees and managed, barely, to get on a condom.

Then, while she was still sighing with pleasure, he sank inside her. At the hot, wet feel of her surrounding him, hunger and desire mingled, skittering down his spine, pooling between his legs. Curling his toes. Moving his mouth to hers, holding her to him, he thrust all the way home, and she went wild beneath him.

Watching her, hearing her, with the taste of her still on his lips, he thrust again, catching her every whimper, her every breath, with his mouth. Her shudders rippled down her body to his. Another thrust and his body started to tighten and contract, too, pulsing with the need for release. Again. Then again, losing himself in her soft, wet heat, following her over, shattering into nirvana as he poured himself into her.

Dazed, spent, he stared down into her face, knowing the truth.

There was no doubt now.

He’d gone and fallen all the way in love with her.

Again.