The Tao of Sex

Chapter 14

SUNDAY MORNING DAWNED beautiful, but Tracy didn’t see much of it. Only enough to bury her head beneath her covers with a very large groan.

The last day and a half hadn’t gone well. She’d spent most of Saturday reliving every moment she’d spent with Nathan, from those first flirty conversations through to his last words to her. “I do not want you…I won’t see you again.” Hard to argue with that.

Her evening had been spent sobbing over a romantic movie that hadn’t made her feel one iota better. Worse, her dreams that night had been sexual replays that had turned her into a knot of frustration. By morning, she knew she couldn’t face the world, so she buried her head and tried—again—to make it all go away. The doorbell chime made that plan a little harder, but she tried nonetheless. Who visited at…she peered at the clock…10:21 a.m. on a Sunday?

Nathan, that was who, knocking with regular and very insistent thunks on her door. At least that was who she hoped it was. She clambered out of bed to peek out her window. Yes, it was him. The sunlight seemed to soak into his black hair, giving him a special dark gleam. She couldn’t suppress a tiny thrill of delight at the sight.

She went to grab her robe, but then changed her mind at the last moment. Let him see her in her jammies. He deserved to see her in a thin spaghetti-strap top and her flannel Men are Pigs pants.

By the time she made it downstairs, the knocking had stopped. Was he leaving? Then she heard the ring of her cell phone. He was calling her. She grinned, feeling as if for once she might have the upper hand with the man. She waited a couple moments more, then pulled open the door.

“Good morning, Nathan. Something I can help you with?” Wow, he looked good rumpled. His hair was wind tossed, falling across his forehead at a rakish angle. His jeans looked faded and threatened to slip down at the slightest provocation. But the very best part right then was the way he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Not a word.

Instead, his eyes widened at her clothing, and his gaze dropped down to the outline of her tightened breasts. Yes, the outside air was cold, and Tracy really liked the sight of one gorgeous man struck dumb by the result. But not enough to forgive him for being an ass.

She smiled. “You look like you slept in those clothes.”

He shook his head. “Didn’t sleep. Thinking.”

“Must have been some thoughts.”

His gaze traveled back to her face as he appeared to shake himself out of his daze. “Um, yes. May I come in?”

“Of course.” she stepped back, but not very far. Just enough to force him to pass within a hair’s breadth of her as he entered.

She saw his jaw clench at her ploy. It was an obvious one, but still effective. Like a man facing a tribunal, he squared his shoulders and marched right in. Except when he would have passed her, she leaned in, brushing her breasts across the full bulk of his bicep.

It was meant to be a tease, a playful game of revenge, but long before the fireflies did more than an initial flutter, Nathan spun around. He slammed the door shut with one hand while his body pinned her against the wall. She gasped in surprise, but all too soon other sensations pounded into her blood.

There was no fat on his body. She felt the tense grip of his chest and the powerful trap of his arms as he braced himself on either side of her head. Below, his jeans were amazingly soft, allowing her to feel the hard ram of his erection against her groin. His thighs were spread wide enough for his legs to pin her, and when she tried to shift, she found no give at all. He could have been made of stone.

“Nathan…” she gasped. The scent of him was beginning to make her dizzy.

“Don’t play with me today, tigress. I have been awake all night thinking of you—”

“That makes two of us,” she murmured, unable to stop herself from lifting her face to his, from teasing her lips across his. “For a man who doesn’t want me, you seem to be standing awfully close.”

“I never said I didn’t want you,” he growled. Yes, a real honest to goodness growl that settled in her belly and quivered there.

“So take me,” she answered as she nipped at his bottom lip.

He needed no more invitation. He possessed her mouth like a warrior staking his claim. He thrust into her; he opened her wide, and he then he plundered her mouth as never before. He was normally so self-contained, she was unprepared for the primal power in his kiss.

Tracy raised her arms. She couldn’t reach his face—his arms blocked the way—but she could burrow beneath his shirt and feel every lean, rippling inch of his chest. “Oh, God,” she gasped when they broke for air. “Nathan, I…Oh!”

He shoved her top down to her waist in one powerful jerk. Then he once again planted his hands on either side of her shoulders. She remained trapped, though he did widen his arms as he slid lower on her body. His mouth claimed her nipple. He suckled; he toyed; he nipped until she arched beneath him.

“Nathan…” she breathed.

“Where’s your brother?” he rasped against her skin.

“What?”

“Joey!” he demanded as he took her other nipple in his mouth.

“Gone. School lock-in.”

His answer was a satisfied grunt. Then he dropped his arms to rip her pants down to her ankles. A second later he gripped her hips and hoisted her high, leaving her pajama bottoms on the floor.

She didn’t have the presence to do more than gasp and slap a hand against the wall for balance. He maneuvered her quickly, shifting her so that her thighs landed on his shoulders. She cried out in shock, but then there was no more time as he began devouring her.

The possession was as fierce there as it had been in her mouth. Her back was braced against the wall, her bottom held tight by his hands. That left his lips and tongue to do whatever he willed with her. In her. Swirling and thrusting and sucking while her body undulated against the wall.

“Nathan!” He wasn’t listening so she reached down and lifted his head by his ears, pulling him away from her so she could breathe. “Nathan!” she said, her hands burrowing into his hair. “Take me.” He blinked, obviously not understanding. She so tightened her grip on his hair and spoke as clearly as she knew how. “I don’t want your mouth. I want your penis in me now!”

“Tigresses don’t—”

She jerked his head to emphasize her point. “Now, Nathan, or I swear I’ll kill you.” She shifted her legs with a hard jerk so that she tumbled backward. Thank God for the wall or she would have had a painful drop to the floor. As it was, she only managed to get one foot to the floor, her other still hooked on his elbow.

Then she slammed her hands against his shoulders. “I’ve been dreaming about you since you rented the apartment. I’ve been wet from the first moment you smiled.” She shoved at him again and he tilted back a half inch. “I don’t understand your tigress crap. I don’t care that you have issues. Right now, I hate you and want you at the very same moment. So choose, buster, are we in a relationship or not? And if so, then you better get naked now.”

“Tracy,” he began, his voice strangled. “I can’t think of anything but you. I can’t breathe without wanting you—”

She kissed him. She took his mouth with hers and plundered him while fumbling blindly at the clasp of his jeans. She found it. She opened it. She shoved it down just far enough for his penis to pop free. Then she was holding it, squeezing and pulling and—

He stepped backward, but only to grab her hips and push her down. She landed on the stairs, which, as far as she was concerned, was the perfect place. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw torment there and a desperate fight against himself. His nostrils were flared, his eyes narrowed and focused, and yet there was something else that held him apart.

“Nathan, just let go.” She still held him in her hands so she could feel how he trembled. He was poised between her thighs, his cock so large, so alive, and yet so far away from where she wanted. She arched, trying to draw him closer.

He tightened his grip on her hips, holding her still. “I cannot—I will not lose myself in you. I won’t!”

She smiled and touched his lips. “And yet you are still here.”

He sobered, his expression turning haunted. “And yet I am still here.” He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers. “I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t breathe without thinking of you.”

“For God’s sake, quit being so damn noble!” With a surge of anger, Tracy gripped him with her hands to position him. She tensed, broadening her stance just enough so that—

He was ready for her. As she adjusted, he gripped her torso. As she moved, he switched her momentum such that she fell sideways, off the stairs to the hard entryway floor. “This way,” he said.

She wanted to protest. She didn’t want sixty-nine on the floor. But it was all he was willing to give, so she took it. His erection swelled right before her eyes. She saw the dark red color, the smooth velvety skin, and the pearl of moisture on the tip. She leaned forward and tasted the salty drop, then heard him groan in hunger.

“Tracy…” he moaned against her thigh. Her name was filled with a reluctant desperation.

She smiled knowing that his need was stronger than his resistance. She slipped her hand down his shaft to explore his balls. He responded by burrowing his face between her knees. His tongue extended to the inside of her thigh, licking and nipping.

She rolled her tongue around his tip again. The taste was as before, but his gasp—that was better. He delved between her folds. She hadn’t even felt him move his head, but his tongue was there, thrusting into her. Her body arched in reaction. She was so sensitive. But she would not do this alone.

She engulfed him. Like sucking on a large, thick lollipop, and yet so much more. Life was pulsing in her mouth. It was his energy just like before. Large, primal and very, very male.

He nipped higher on her thigh, but not where she most wanted it. She felt him pause, his lips curving into a smile. “Shall we drink each other, tigress? I will give my power to you. Will you give me yours?”

“I’ll give you whatever you want, Nathan, whatever you need.” Her tongue toyed with his shaft. She could not resist the energy tingling against her lips. She squeezed his balls, and the energy seemed to tighten. She rolled her tongue around his tip, and the energy swirled along with her motion. And when she began to suck—to stroke with one hand and suck with her mouth, it was as though she concentrated his energy into a laser of pure male light. His power purified for her drinking.

She would have said something. She would have told him how incredible he was. But then he began to stroke her. She felt his tongue thrusting, toying, drinking. Within moments, her orgasm began. She stared to undulate, the internal pump compressing, tightening her energy into wave upon wave of pleasure. But then he put his mouth to her clit and began to suck. Just like with him, her power seemed to follow the pull of his lips. Her orgasm seemed to flow through and down to her clit. He was drawing her energy into him. And she…

She increased her suction. His hips jerked. She could feel his tension, taste the build up of power just behind his organ. He was supposed to stop now. The books said he should stop to conserve his energy, but she would not let him go and he didn’t stop himself. She heard him groan, the pull on her clit interrupted as he gasped. His organ seemed to shudder and then he thrust powerfully inside her mouth. Again and again until the beautiful energy that was Nathan began to pour forth. It came in a gushing waterfall. It flew into her mouth, into her body. The white light that was him flowed into her. Nathan: purified and beautiful.

She drank and drank while below, she poured into him. An eternal circle, wondrous and ever flowing.

Divine?

For a moment, yes, she thought she would go to heaven. She felt the circle grow, rising higher and taking them both upward. Flight! But only for a moment.

Then it was gone. She and Nathan lay on the front hallway floor gasping, exhausted, while the echoes of pleasure rippled through her body. Fabulous, and yet not quite divine. Suppressing the disappointment, she smiled and focused on the shimmering aftereffects.

“Now this is the way to spend a Sunday morning,” she murmured. Then she closed her eyes. Tracy felt the rise and fall of his chest, and listened to the thundering beat of her own heart as it slowly steadied. She rolled away from him, only far enough to look into his dazed eyes. He kept a hand on her thigh; and she idly stroked his knee. In another five minutes, she roused herself to speak.

“You’re going to have to get over this virginity thing. If I want to have sex with you…” She pressed a kiss onto his thigh. “Real sex, then that’s my choice. There’s no reason for me to keep my virginity.”

He sighed, and she saw regret settle on his features. “I am not protecting you. I am—”

“Keeping yourself from being involved with me?” She pushed up to look pointedly at him. “How’s that going for you? If you recall, you broke up with me two days ago and yet here we are.”

He looked at her, and she could see him gather his thoughts. Then he pushed up, coming to sit on his knees before her. The motion was fluid and powerful. It was as if he had gone from exhaustion to controlled essence, all in one movement.

She shifted more slowly, pushing upright so that they faced eye to eye.

“The last woman I loved was a white woman like you.”

Tracy flinched as a surge of jealousy hit her hard. Her hands were tensed into claws. “I don’t really want to know this.”

Nathan ignored her, continuing as if she hadn’t spoken. “She is white and beautiful, but that is her only similarity to you. She was soft, giving, ultrafeminine whereas you…”

“Are you saying I’m too butch?”

He frowned. “I don’t know what that means. I think you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Smart, determined, and with a great capacity to love. You have built a home for you and your brother. I admire that.”

She threw up her hands to cover the embarrassment she felt. She was proud of her accomplishments, but to hear him say it like that…Well, it thrilled her down to her toes. “So I’m awesome. Let’s forget this tigress stuff and keep going—”

“You’re killing me, Tracy.”

She blinked, unsure how to react to that. He appeared serious, but…“You mean that figuratively, right?”

He shrugged. “I was kicked out of the temple because I loved her to the exclusion of all else.”

She swallowed, not wanting to think about this other student, but unable to stop herself. “Did you do…” She gestured to the floor. “Did you do that with her, too?”

His shoulders tightened. “Yes. Whenever she allowed me.”

“Well, then,” she said, disappointment curling in her stomach. “So I’m not special.”

He shrugged, his hands lifted in a gesture of helplessness. “You are special. She was special. And I love you completely.”

Somehow the words didn’t quite thrill her as she’d once thought they would. “You loved them all, didn’t you? All your students.” She was beginning to understand why he held himself apart from her. “You’re trying not to repeat past mistakes. And, to you, I’m just like all of them.”