The Unwanted

Chapter Eight

The feel of the nightmares was one Destin was used to. There were some that would cling to her, like a spider’s web, and she’d be struggling with the fibers of it all day, plucking useful threads from it and discarding everything else.

Other dreams would cling to her…but there would be nothing useful. They were dark and terrible and unwelcome, but she remembered nothing of those.

They were the ones she hated the most because she had to suffer the darkness, the pain, the fear…all for nothing.

The terror was choking. Cloying and thick, and the pain was unending. Laughter surrounded her and she knew the sound of that laughter, knew it as well as she knew her own name.

But even as she tried to grasp the threads of the dream, hold them together, they fell apart. This wasn’t one of those dreams that she’d been able to save. It would just linger in the depths of her mind, tormenting her, but never showing its true face. Like so many others.

The slow, terrible slide into wakefulness couldn’t be rushed. Bit by bit, the dream faded into nothingness, while the echo of that laughter danced in her mind.

Bit by bit, the memory of pain retreated. Pain that wracked her, everywhere. Forgotten tears dried, and her chest, aching from the sobs, eased as she was able to draw a deep, easier breath.

Gone…the dream was gone.

For now.

And then awareness slammed into her.

Warm arms held her. Against her cheek, she could hear the steady beat of a heart. And even as she tensed and started to process what was happening, Caleb stroked a hand up her back and curved it over her neck.

“You fell asleep in the car. I carried you inside and was going to leave you in here to sleep it off but the nightmares had already started.” He nuzzled her temple, his lips soft, gentle…breaking her heart. “I couldn’t leave you alone.”

“Why not? You did it five years ago easy enough.” The question tumbled out of her before she could stop it. Immediately, she wanted to kick herself. “Never mind. Forget I said that.” She untangled her arms and legs from him.

Or at least she tried.

Caleb switched their positions and instead of laying sprawled half on top of him, he was lying on top of her, his hips caught in the cradle of hers and she could feel the massive wall of his chest crushing against her breasts. Her breath caught and her heart settled into a mad gallop that would have done any horse running in the Kentucky Derby proud.

“Easy,” he murmured, reaching up and splaying a hand over her cheek. “You think it was an easy thing to leave you.”

The heat that had started to uncurl through her belly went icy. Pain slashed through her heart and she stared up into his brown eyes, recalling the way he had watched her, so unaffected, so untouched, before he’d turned away and walked out of her life five years ago.

“Yes.” She swallowed the knot in her throat even as her brain screamed at her not to say anything else. Let it go…just let it go… But her brain was saying one thing and she heard herself doing the exact opposite. “I mean, you tell me you were waiting for me to ask you to stay, but all I saw was you walking out the door and it looked like you didn’t have any trouble at all doing it.”

She forced herself to smile despite the pain that threatened to tear her apart.

“Walking away was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.” He stared at her, and the look on his face wasn’t all that much different than the one he’d worn the day he walked.

He dipped his head and pressed his brow to hers, his voice low and rough as he said, “I had my reasons for doing it, and if the situation was the same, it might kill me, but I’d probably have to make the same choice. But I didn’t do it because I wanted to. The only thing I ever wanted was what I left behind that day.”

And then he did something unexpected…he lowered the solid, rock-hard shields he never went without.

The emotion that crashed into her was like waves slamming into the rocks during a storm. She tried to suck in a breath, but the intensity of it left her battered, left her shattered.

Pain. Need. Emptiness.

Just like what she’d been living with.

His hand stroked up over her arm, curved around to cup her nape as he slid his lips down her cheek. “I never wanted to walk away…but I didn’t have a choice at the time, Destin.”

The ache in her chest was going to kill her. She wanted to ask him what in the hell he was talking about. But then he shifted over and his mouth covered hers. Talking, thinking, all of it came to a crashing halt. Hell, even breathing became difficult as his tongue stroked along her lips and pushed inside.

She tried to turn her head aside, desperate to think, desperate to find steady ground just so she could settle herself. “Caleb, damn it, wait…”

“Why?” Undeterred, he shifted his attention to her neck and she groaned as his teeth scraped across sensitive flesh.

Squeezing her eyes closed, she thought of the first thing that came to mind. “Morning breath. I should brush my teeth.”

He laughed against her ear. “Destin…if you want me to stop, just say stop. If not…quit making excuses.”

Turning her head, she stared up at him. Five years ago, the golden brown of his hair would have fallen into his eyes. Now, nothing was there to soften the impact of that dark, liquid gaze and she felt it clear down to her soul. “If I want you to stop, you’ll stop,” she whispered, bracing her hands on his shoulders.

She could feel the power of solid, sturdy muscle under her hands and her body cried out for him. She’d missed him. A few times, she’d tried to find somebody to fill the void he’d left but it had never worked. Three lovers. One of them had been good too. The others…they’d left her cold.

And come morning, she’d been cold any way.

If you want me to stop…

Watching the carved lines of his face, that familiar face, she smoothed her hands along his shoulders, feeling the cotton of his shirt under her palms. A muscle jerked in his jaw. “Destin…”

“Don’t stop.” She curled her arms around his neck and tugged him down to her. She’d regret this later. When she had time to think, she knew she’d regret this. But just then, if she pushed him away, the only thing she’d regret was not reaching for this moment.

Just like she had to live with the regret of not reaching for him as he walked away from her five years ago.

She’d rather live with the pain of heartbreak than the bitterness of regret.

He curved his hand along the back of her head, his thumb stroking the sensitive spot just behind her ear. “Be sure, Destin…are you very sure?”

“Yes. You’ll just have to deal with the morning breath.”

He laughed as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. “I’m willing to risk it if you are.”

Heat blistered through her as he slid his other hand under her shirt, stroking higher and higher, dragging the material with him as he sought her skin out. “Too many clothes.”

“Yeah.” He pushed up onto his knees, straddling her hips as he caught her shirt and stripped it away. Her bra followed. “Naked, Destin. Need you naked.”

She reached for him, wanting the very same thing, but he evaded her hands as he reached for the buckle of her belt and freed it. In seconds, he had her naked while he still wore everything. It was something Destin really needed to do something about except when she went to sit up and do just that, he shifted down and settled between her thighs.

As he caught her hips in his big hands, Destin thought she heard little mini-explosions firing off in her brain. Then he dipped his head and pressed a hot, searing kiss against her.

“Oh, hell.” Melting back against the mattress, she fisted her hands in the sheets.

Caleb’s mouth opened and she shuddered as he flicked his tongue against her. It was like he’d stroked her with a controlled burst of lightning. It hurtled through her and the strangled, choked gasp hitched in her throat. Each rasping touch pushed her higher, higher…

Sensations slammed into her. The feel of his hands on her hips. The rhythm of his mouth.

And more…the feel of him. The warmth of his presence, mantling all around her. It was more intimate than just sex. It was…everything. As he worked her closer and closer to climax, time and trouble and nightmares fell away until it was just them.

His fingers brushed against her inner thigh and she trembled, her eyes flying open.

“Shhh… I’ve missed this,” he muttered against her.

She groaned as she felt him teasing her entrance, the blunt tip of one finger circling around and around. Bringing one knee up, she arched closer.

But he continued on his slow, teasing little play. His mouth teased and tormented, like he was learning her all over again. And his hand…damn those talented fingers, he kept his touch light, just this side of tentative although there was nothing tentative about him.

The contrast was enough to drive her insane and as he worked her to that edge once more, only to back off, Destin reached down and fisted her hands in his hair. The strands were short, almost too short, but she tugged and lifted until his dark eyes met hers. “If you don’t quit teasing me, I’m going to hurt you,” she warned him, her breath coming in harsh, heavy pants.

He smiled and lowered his mouth back to her sex, caught her clit between his teeth and tugged. “Am I teasing, sugar?” He shifted around and used his thumbs to spread her open. “So wet…so ready. Are you ready for me, Destin?”

She shuddered as he pressed his mouth against her core. Then, as a spasm of need gripped her, he thrust his tongue inside her.

Destin climaxed with a harsh cry, twisting on the sheets and straining against his mouth and hands.

While she was still shuddering, shaking from her orgasm, Caleb pulled away. Climbing out of the bed, he all but ran from the room. At the time, he’d told himself it was wishful thinking.

Now, the box of condoms he’d put inside his bag was too far away and his feet felt too fucking clumsy and his hands too big. When he finally found the damn thing, tucked just inside the room he’d taken, his heart was thudding in hard, heavy beats against his rib cage, his hands were shaking and all he could see was how she’d looked, her peach-and-cream body against the sheets, her eyes dark with need.

Box in hand, he headed back into the room and met her gaze as she went to sit up. He settled back on the bed, straddling her hips and catching her head in one hand, slanting his mouth over hers. “I was telling myself I was an idiot for buying these,” he whispered against her mouth. “I’m glad I have no problem with being an idiot.”

As he pulled away, her gaze dropped to the box he held and then she reached for it. He let her take it as he reached for his belt, all but tearing it open. “You’re still dressed,” she said, her voice husky and soft.

“Yeah. I don’t care.” He cupped her breasts in his hands, plumping the sweet little curves together and flicking his thumbs over her tight nipples. Her eyes went cloudy and he pulled the condom out of her hand, put it between his teeth as he unzipped his jeans.

Her hands brushed his away and he groaned as she closed one soft, strong hand around his cock.

Yeah. Screw the clothes just then.

He didn’t need to worry about his clothes. He just needed her.

And…it was easier this way. For now. They could talk later. Right?

He tore the condom open. She reached for the hem of his shirt and he let her tug at it as he unrolled the rubber, but before she could get the shirt up past his abdomen, he tumbled her back on the bed, capturing her head once more and holding her still as he kissed her.

“You tease me nonstop and you can’t even let me take your clothes off?” she teased.

“Fuck the clothes.”

“How about me instead?” she whispered against his lips.

“Yeah. I like that idea.”

Still waters ran deep—that saying could have been created with Caleb in mind. It was something Destin knew well. The world saw a quiet, composed man who rarely raised his voice, spoke only when he had something to say, rarely cursed. Quiet and calm…that was Caleb.

The man in bed with her was anything but quiet. Anything but calm.

He caught her lip between his teeth and tugged, muttering against her lips, “I’ve missed you.” He reached down between them, tucked the head of his cock against her core and they both groaned. Then, as he started to press inside, he rasped, “So tight, Destin. So hot and sweet…”

She arched up against him, whimpering low in her throat, her fingers digging into the muscles of his arms.

He eased into her slowly and she shuddered, feeling herself stretch around him. It had been years, she realized. Years since her last lover and it was almost painful. The sweetest pain imaginable. He started to withdraw and she groaned, arched up.

Caleb shuddered, his elbows planted on either side of her head. The muscles in his arms tensed and she could feel him trembling. “Caleb…”

With that same, slow rhythm, he surged back inside, working deeper. Just a little…not enough—

Groaning, she clenched down around him and brought her leg up, twining it around his. “Don’t,” he warned, his voice a ragged growl.

She smiled and milked him with her internal muscles again.

He shuddered and swore.

When she did it a third time, a savage curse escaped him and he lunged, surging deep inside her, not stopping until he’d seated himself completely inside her. She cried out, her scream, caught between pain and pleasure, bouncing off the walls.

His hands caught her shoulders, bracing her as he withdrew and drove back into her.

She clutched at him, her hands fisting in the cotton of the shirt he wore, cotton that rubbed against her sensitive, swollen breasts. “Caleb…”

“Mine.” He angled his head, his mouth taking hers as he caught whatever she might have said with his mouth.

Yes—

She’d always been his.

A fact that time, distance, heartbreak couldn’t change.

He hooked one elbow under her knee, opening her further, and when he drove into her again, she whimpered against his mouth. His fingers stroked against the seam between the cheeks of her ass, teasing the flesh there while his other hand caught her hand and dragged it to the side. His mouth locked on her neck, his teeth raking the delicate arch. “You don’t know. You can’t know what it did to me, walking away.”

And even know, in the midst of the pleasure, the pain could swamp her.

I don’t want to know. She blocked it out and turned her head, pressing her lips to his cheek. “Kiss me.”

She didn’t want to think, wouldn’t. Couldn’t…not yet.

When his mouth covered hers again, she was the one to take control this time.

Even as his body controlled hers, she controlled the kiss, sinking her teeth into his lower lip, sucking it into her mouth. She felt him shuddering against her and it fanned the fires between them. When he went to stroke his tongue into her mouth, she bit him lightly and felt it as his control snapped.

Snarling against her lips, he braced his arm under her as he surged inside her, deep, hard. Destin whimpered against his lip, caught helpless under the driving impact of his body, caught helpless as need and pleasure and love swamped her.

Love…

He muttered something against her lips, but she couldn’t hear him. Not over the racing of her heart, the roar of blood in her ears.

Orgasm hovered just there—so close…so close—

Her long, slim body tightened under his. Too rough. Too hard… Tearing his mouth away from hers, he lifted his head and tried to throttle back. Tried to force himself to slow even as he pressed another demanding kiss to her swollen mouth. “I love you, Destin.” The words ripped out of him without any conscious thought of his own.

Her eyes, glassy and wild, were locked on his face and he didn’t even know if she heard him.

As she arched up higher, she cried, “Caleb…”

Fisting one hand, he called up the scraps of his control. Slow down…gotta slow down—

And then she whispered, her voice shaky and soft. “I love you…”

The world rocked around him.

The control he thought he’d lost came back to him and the driving, desperate hunger eased.

Untangling their limbs, he caught her face in his hands. “My girl.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. He stroked his thumb over her cheek. “Fuck, you’re sweet…”

She tightened around him and he shuddered as the silk of her pussy milked him—a snug, soft fist.

Her hands caught in his shirt, tried to drag it up. He almost lifted up to let her. Then, as he skimmed his lips along the scar on the side of her face, he remembered…yeah…better wait…

Instead, he caught her wrists and stretched them high overhead, watched as her eyes widened, watched the way her breath caught. “Mine…”

“Yours,” she agreed. “And you’re mine. I’m not letting go again.”

Hell, he hoped not. He’d settle for what he could take for now, but they had miles to go yet. Rocking against her, shifting the angle of his body, he groaned as she clenched around, again and again. “Stop it…you’re killing me…”

“Then quit teasing me.” She did it again.

And it was heaven, feeling her tighten those sleek little muscles around him, feeling the glide of her sweat-slicked flesh against his. A flush settled low on her breasts, climbing higher and higher as her breathing sped up. Hot warning chills raced down his spine and he could feel his balls drawing tight. Wasn’t going to be able to fight this off. Arctic showers wouldn’t slow this down, not after all this time.

Dipping his head, he pressed his brow to hers, held her close to him. “Stay with me.”

“Yes…”

As the orgasm swelled, exploded through both of them, they fell.