The Wolf Within

Chapter 5

Music blared through an open window in Julie’s studio. He chuckled as King of Wishful Thinking pummeled his sensitive ears the moment he opened the car door. Get over him, huh? Wishful thinking was right. He’d make sure Julie didn’t have any opportunity to “get over” him.

But he had a bigger problem to contend with first. No way would she hear the door through that racket. Just to be sure, he tried the buzzer and waited a full minute before trying again. He was amazed no one had called in a complaint. She was making enough noise to wake the dead. Wolves had extra sensitive hearing, after all.

It really would be for the benefit of the town to go up there and turn the music off. He grinned at the obvious false justification. The good of the town didn’t factor in, but was a reasonable excuse. Now to figure out how to get up there.

He walked to the front door and examined the lock. He often did repairs on the apartment for Laurie, so he knew the layout of the space. Even if he made it through this door, it would only give him access to the stairwell leading to the actual apartment above the bookstore. At the top of the stairs, the main door to the studio had yet another lock. Once he gained entrance through that door, the apartment was one big room, housing a bed and a small kitchenette. No place for Julie to hide.

In high school he’d spent a few summers working for the local locksmith. One of the first things they’d taught him was how to pick a lock as they’d often been sent on house calls where someone had locked himself out.

He hadn’t done it in years. Still there was no harm in trying, right? And this looked like a simple lever lock. There were even a couple of hangers in the backseat he could use for makeshift tools.

Rubbing his hands together, he planned his approach. Julie’s shouted lyrics drifted to him, making him laugh. Her speech was a bit slurred, and it was clear she was having a good time. He’d long known about her penchant for 80s and early 90s rock. One of her quirky little habits he found adorable.

Pulling out the hangers, he bent them into the shapes he needed.

Time to get to work.

Julie gawked in surprise as the door to her apartment swung open. Brendan stood framed in the doorway, wearing a cocky grin. A large pizza box sat on the floor behind him.

She stood on her bed, the only piece of furniture in the small studio, and stared at him for a full minute before glancing down at the half empty bottle in her hand. What the hell was in this stuff? Wine had never given her hallucinations before. She closed her eyes, rubbing one with her free hand. But the vision remained.

“I brought pizza,” it said, reaching down and grabbing the box on the floor. Or at least, that’s what she thought it said. Like a proper vision, the lips moved but no sound emerged. Although now that her brain had considered it, pizza sounded good. Her stomach rumbled in agreement.

The figment rolled its eyes and prowled into the room. Julie watched it cross to the stereo on the kitchen counter. The music shut off.

How had her imagination done that? The man stalked toward her.

She took a wobbly step backward, thrown off balance by the springiness of the bed beneath her.

“Whoa, easy there.” He reached out to steady her. His touch was warm against her arm, and she stared down at his long tanned fingers against her pale skin. A shiver of awareness raced through her, sweeping some of the clouds from her mind. This wasn’t a vision. Brendan was really here, in her apartment.

“Brendan? What are you doing here?” She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebs. Her brain wasn’t processing things as quickly as she needed right now.

“Well, since you didn’t feel like salmon–” The smile he threw her way robbed her of what few thoughts she’d managed to gather. “–I brought pizza. Pepperoni, tomato and mushroom. I know it’s your favorite.”

She glanced at the box sitting beside the stereo on the counter. She was hungry. And her earlier reasons for cancelling didn’t seem valid anymore. What harm was there really? The world wasn’t going to end because she ate dinner with him.

Turning back to Brendan, she ran her gaze from his head to his toes and back up. He was looking yummier than the pizza.

His smile grew under her perusal, and she raised her gaze to his. The teasing glint in their depth told her he had watched her ogle him, and had enjoyed every minute. He took the wine bottle from her hand and lifted it toward the light.

“How much of this have you had, anyway?” His lips puckered in a whistle as he surveyed the level of the liquid within. It would be so easy to lean down and kiss him. His lips were already puckered and everything. God knew the man could kiss.

She dropped to her knees on the bed, putting them at the same height. Taking the bottle from him and setting it on the bedside table, she reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His lips hovered above hers, just shy of touching. She stretched, but he leaned back so their lips remained apart.

“You need to come closer.” She tugged at his shoulders, but he resisted the pull.

“Ordering me around, are you beautiful?” She tugged again, making no more progress than last time.

“Fine. If you don’t want me, then go away.” She puffed out an exasperated breath, unraveling her hands to bring them to her side.

Brendan felt her arms slide away from him, and grabbed them, bringing them back around his neck. He wasn’t ready to release her just yet.

“Oh, I want you all right. It’s taking every ounce of willpower I possess not to strip off your clothes and bend you backward until neither of us knows our own names. But you, my dear, are drunk. I want more from you than one night you might consider a drunken mistake tomorrow.” He watched his words sink past the alcoholic haze in her eyes. First surprise, then heat, flared in their depths before she dropped them to stare at his mouth.

“I’m not that drunk, Brendan.”

The laugh started in his gut, bubbling up until he had to release it. Even knowing it would replace her desire with anger, he couldn’t stop it. “Don’t laugh at me!” she huffed, trying to pull away. He clung tight, loving the fight within.

“I’m not. I swear. You’re just so perfect. And drunk enough, I might add, that I can’t trust your judgment right now. So why don’t we sit down and have some pizza, maybe some water for you, and we can come back to this conversation a bit later.”

She stuck her lip out in a pout. His wolf wanted to jump in, but he held the reins tight. Taking her right now, no matter how appealing the suggestion might sound, or how much she begged, was not the way to start a relationship. That way led to ignored phone calls and a pounding from her brothers.

Pizza. They were going to sit down, eat and talk. Nothing more. He looked at her lips. Well, maybe a little more. But he drew the line at kissing. His fingers tightened on Julie’s waist.

Okay, maybe a bit more than kissing, but the line was there. A very definite line. Somewhere. He’d know it when he saw it. As long as he kept his wits about him. Easier said than done around Julie, but he had to succeed. There was no other choice if he wanted forever.

“Come on, wobbly. Time to eat.” He didn’t give her a chance to move, swinging her into his arms. But he enjoyed her squeak and the way she clung to his shoulders.

Carrying her to the kitchenette, he sat her on the counter with reluctance. He liked holding her.

He leaned down and kissed her nose.

“You missed again,” she whispered.

“Again?”

“Yeah, yesterday you were going for my foot. I liked that miss more.” The grin spreading over her face made him feel special. As if they had their own private joke.

“I never miss.” He leaned in close, placing his hands on either side of her hips, caging her. Her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

Tilting his head to the left, he bypassed her mouth and trailed his lips down her cheek to the juncture of her neck. Placing his mouth over the spot where her neck met her shoulder, he sucked hard, letting the edge of his teeth scrape her delicate skin.

Her body shuffled closer, and her head fell back. Brendan closed his eyes on a groan. Her breasts pressed against his chest. The scent of strawberries was stronger against her neck, and he drew it in like a starving man as he ran his hands from her thighs around her back to pull her tight against him. When she wrapped her legs around his waist, the scent of her arousal floated up to join in the blend. Julie and sex fused together into a heady combination.

Slow. He was supposed to be taking things one step at a time. Skimming his lips down her throat, he placed a quick nip at her collarbone before moving away.

They stared at each other in silence for a full minute, their deep breathing the only sound in the room. Sexual tension buzzed between them until the air was thick with emotion.

“You are such a tease.” Julie broke the silence, cutting through the tension around them and bringing a smile to his face.

“Me? Woman, I’m just trying to get to the pizza, but you keep throwing yourself at me and I get all distracted.”

“Woman? You so did not call me woman.” He leaned in close again, placing a quick kiss against her lips, but backing away before either of them could deepen it.

“God, you are too cute.” Without moving from between her legs–because there was no way he was giving up such prime real estate–Brendan reached over and flipped open the pizza box. He took out a slice and handed it to her.

“Aren’t you a little close?” she asked as he stood with his own slice.

“I’m comfortable.”

“Well, I’m not. Scoot back a bit.” She shoved his shoulder, and he took a reluctant step back.

“Fine, but don’t think I won’t be back there soon.” He winked, causing her to roll her eyes and shake her head.

The man was so damn cocky. Julie watched him take another bite of pizza, his sharp teeth cutting through the cheese with ease. She wished she had fangs. She probably had cheesy strings all over her face. A quick swipe over her mouth assured her she wasn’t a complete mess.

Still, as the bready pizza soaked up some of the alcohol in her system, everything that had occurred since his arrival sharpened in her memory. Oh God, she’d thrown herself at Brendan. Worse, he had rejected her!

This couldn’t be happening. Maybe she had run her car off the road earlier and was even now in a hospital bed having a coma-induced nightmare.

“Why do you look so horrified, baby?” His sharp eyes were fastened on her face. She strove for a nonchalant look, having no idea if she succeeded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just wondering what you’re doing here.”

He reached over to the box and pulled out another slice, holding it out for her to take. After only a moment of hesitation, her hunger overruled her reservations.

“I’m eating.” He shrugged, still drilling into her with his gaze.

“Yes, but why are you eating here?”

“We had a date. You left a message on my machine saying, ‘Brendan, I’m not feeling up to salmon tonight. Would you mind picking up some pizza and coming to my place instead?’ What was I supposed to do–say no?”

He’d used a high pitch voice to imitate her. Julie stared for a full minute before she could form a reply.

“That’s not what the message said.”

“It wasn’t?” The smile he threw her way was playful. “My bad. I guess I misunderstood.” He started eating his slice again, his gaze never breaking contact with hers.

“You know it’s a little nerve wracking to eat while you’re staring at me.”

An image of Jay, the man from the wine store, flashed through her mind. His eyes had pierced her with the same intensity as Brendan’s did now. But whereas Brendan’s gaze made her feel safe, not to mention hot all over, Jay’s had left her on edge. As she remembered, a wave of unease swept over her, and she brought her arms around herself to chase away the goose bumps.

In an instant, Brendan was there, clutching her shoulders and forcing her gaze to his.

“Julie? What happened?” There was a fierceness in his grip, in his posture, that had been absent before.

“It’s nothing.” What was she supposed to say? That some guy had hit on her and now, hours later, she was freaking out. It sounded ridiculous even to her.

“It’s not ‘nothing.’ I saw the frightened look on your face. Now tell me what happened.” His grip tightened, not painfully but with clear intent. He wasn’t going to drop this until he knew what had spooked her.

“I was thinking about this guy I met today. He gave me the willies. No big deal.” A barrage of questions assailed her.

“Who was he?” Brendan’s voice demanded an answer, his grip solid on her arm.

“Calm down, Brendan. He was just a guy. He asked me out. I said no. He went away. That was it.” She left out Jay’s eerie certainty they would meet again, knowing it would set Brendan off.

“Then why the fear? Does he live in town?”

“He just gave me a creepy feeling. It was nothing. And no, he doesn’t live here.” Julie waited a moment for her words to sink in. “Now don’t you think there are more important things we should be discussing?” Like why he had rejected her earlier, and if he would do it again.

Tonight had opened her eyes. Yes, she had been drunk when she’d convinced herself sex with Brendan wasn’t the catastrophe she’d envisioned. But her point remained valid, even after the alcohol had worn off. Maybe a fling was exactly what she needed right now. As long as she remembered a fling was all it was and didn’t let her heart get entangled, she’d be fine. Besides, if Brendan did everything else half as well as he kissed, it was worth the risk.

“And what other things do you want to discuss, little one?”

“Why did you stop earlier?”

“You were drunk. I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

His sincerity seemed real, and if that had been the only thing holding him back…

“I’m not drunk anymore.” He stared at her for a long time, searching for something. Julie didn’t know what he looked for, so she stared back, telling him with her eyes this was what she wanted. Finally, his gaze released hers and trailed down her body, causing her to blush. It wasn’t as if she’d expected guests. She knew her gray sweat pants and baggy sleep shirt weren’t suited for seduction.

Julie in her comfy clothes was sexier than any woman he’d ever seen in lingerie. Which admittedly hadn’t been too many, but not for lack of offers. After he’d discovered Julie was the one for him, he’d lost interest in other women. Even if he and Julie weren’t together, dating and sleeping around felt disloyal. The one time he’d relented had been last Christmas, after he’d caught the scent of another man on her clothing. Afterward, he’d felt guilty for weeks. They hadn’t been together, he hadn’t even told her his intentions, but it still felt as if he’d betrayed her.

“Are you sure this is what you want? Because, baby, once we start, I’m not sure I’ll have the willpower to stop. And there’s no way in hell I’m letting you get away from me afterward.” As her chest inflated with a large breath, he braced himself for disappointment.

“I’m sure.” The words had scarcely left her mouth when he pounced. He saw her eyes widen in surprise and searched their depths for fear–of him, of his beast–but there was none. Only the slow kindling of desire’s flame.

He had her right where he wanted, her legs wrapped around his waist, close enough to feel her chest rise and fall with each breath. He brought a hand up and swept it over her face, following the movement with his eyes and memorizing her features.

“I’ve waited for this for the longest time.”

“Stop. I don’t need flowery words. I need you. Just you.” She grabbed his hand, stopping its exploration and brought it to her breast. There was something in her voice. Something troubling. But as her nipple hardened underneath his fingers, the weight of her breast settling in his palm, he tucked the concern away for later. Right now, he had more important things to discover. Like what color her nipples were, and if they tasted as good as they felt.

He whispered her name before closing his mouth over hers, the need to taste her overwhelming him. He watched her eyes close before allowing his own to follow. The feel of her hands reaching up, clutching his back like a lifeline, forced a growl past his throat. He worried for a moment whether it would scare her, but her hands gripped him tighter, assuring him it hadn’t.

Skimming his hands down her stomach, Brendan clutched the edge of her shirt. He pulled it up and over her head, breaking the kiss.

Intent on getting back to her mouth, he cast a quick look down, but was brought up short by the sight in front of him. Julie was perfection. There were no other words. A black and beige bra cupped her breasts, the round globes offered to him on a lacy platter. He took back everything he’d thought earlier about lingerie. Julie was sexier in sweats than any other woman in lingerie. But Julie in lingerie was downright deadly. He couldn’t wait to buy her more.

His gaze was glued to her breasts. They were perfection. With reverence, he ran his hands over them, watching as she arched into his teasing touch. Her head fell back as her hands on his waist pulled him forward. He leaned down, placing a kiss at the top of each peak before letting his teeth scrape along the edge of the fabric.

“Oh God.” The breathy words filled him with pride.

“Nope. Just me. But I’m flattered.” He stopped his exploration to smile. Her glaring gaze met his teasing one.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“Ordering me around again, beautiful?” He thrust his hips against her, letting her feel his erection through his jeans. “I love it when you get all bossy.”

Her head fell back on a groan, making him smile as he got back to work. The combination of submissive and dominant in one perfect package turned his wolf on more than he cared to admit. She might not be shifter, but she was stronger than the average human in heart and spirit.

He thought about how her family shielded her, protecting her from the world. Was he the only one who saw Julie for the strong and vibrant woman she was? Her family knew she was special, but did they realize how much?

Her moan dragged his mind back to the task at hand. Using his teeth, he pulled the cup of her bra off one breast. Her rosy nipple proved too much a temptation to resist, and he covered the peak with his mouth, sucking hard. Her nails scratched down his back as he feasted, moving downward to cup his butt and pull his hips forward.

The need to see if her panties matched her bra drove his hands downward. He hated letting go of her nipple to accomplish the task, but the thought of Julie nude before him was too tempting to resist. He steadied her with one hand as she lifted her hips, a clear invitation.

He struggled for a moment to get the sweatpants past her hips, but was rewarded for his troubles by the sight greeting him. She was indeed wearing a matching set. Groaning, he leaned down and placed a heated kiss against her stomach, using his teeth to scrape downward. Her breath hitched as he grazed the sensitive skin along the edge of her underwear.

“God, you’re going to kill me,” he whispered, urging her up with his hands so he could remove the panties. As soon as they were off, he went back to work, trailing his lips over her mound and past her outer lips. He reveled in her throaty moan as he took the small bundle of nerves gently between his teeth. Her hands became rough in his hair, but the spark of pain drove him forward.

The scent of her desire filled his senses as his tongue swept downward, tasting her. She filled his every sense, her taste driving him crazy. As his tongue plunged inside her, she thrust her hips forward, and her moans broke as she rode out her climax.

After her hands fell limply to his shoulders, Brendan stood, his lips coasting across her skin on the way up. She shuddered as he nibbled her stomach, the scent of her renewed desire floating up. Reaching behind her, he unclasped the bra, pulling it off and throwing it to the side. He moved back just long enough to pull his own shirt off before returning to press against her, wanting to feel her, skin to skin. He needed the tactile assurance this was real, that he was actually here exploring the edges of pleasure with Julie, his mate.

She pushed against his chest before his mouth connected with her breasts. Her gaze ran up and down his bare skin with her hands following the path, tickling the sprinkling of hair. The look of awe on her face when she raised her gaze to his was humbling.

“Brendan, you’re beautiful.”

Tilting his head to the side, he smiled. “While I’m glad you like what you see, I would have preferred sexy or handsome–much more manly than beautiful. Besides, you’re the beautiful one. Looking at you hurts my eyes.”

Her hands left his chest, and he squashed the urge to grab them back. A half-frown, half-smile curled her lips. “Looking at me hurts your eyes? Not really a compliment.”

Wasting no time, Brendan pulled her forward until she was barely on the counter, supporting her as he stared into her eyes.

“It was a compliment. You’re stunning. So much so the brilliance of your beauty is more than my mere mortal eyes can stand.” Her breath hitched.

“You artists. Such poetic souls.” Her gaze dropped to his lips, and her chin rose in invitation.

But their conversation had cooled his ardor enough to remember the one thing he couldn’t forget. Frustration followed the insight. Fuck! He almost said it aloud, realizing they couldn’t go any further. Never had he imagined the evening would end this way, so he hadn’t bothered to bring any protection with him. He hadn’t come here tonight with the intention of getting in Julie’s pants.

“Julie. We have to stop.” Anger flashed within her eyes as they snapped to his.

“What the hell do you mean ‘we have to stop’? What is this, some game to you? You lose a bet?” She slapped her hands against his chest and pushed, but he refused to budge. He reached up and grabbed her hips to prevent her escape as she tried to jump off the counter. The need to make her understand propelled him onward.

“Of course not.” Anger built in his gut. How could she think he would use her that way? “I didn’t bring protection with me. It’s not as if I carry condoms around in my pocket.”

After a minute, the anger drained from her eyes and stiff posture. “Well, you’d better start. But lucky us, I saw some in one of the drawers. Samantha must have left them when she moved out. So–” Her hands trailed down his chest, playing with the button on his jeans. “If that’s your only excuse…”

Her persistence sure did make him smile, even as his wolf howled with satisfaction. Tonight she would be his. Nothing stood in his way.

“Don’t move a muscle,” he ordered, disentangling her limbs from his waist. The intensity of Julie’s gaze fired his blood. It took three strides to reach the dresser, thanking his lucky stars when he found the box on his first try. Grabbing two, he didn’t bother opening them as he strode back into her arms.

“Two? Feeling ambitious are we?”

“What can I say, I’m a boy scout. I like to be prepared.” At his words, her gaze drifted to his erection, the bulge obvious behind his zipper.

“Boy scout, huh?”

Without another word, he eased his zipper down, not an easy task considering the size of his erection and the fact his claws kept trying to extend, his wolf close to the surface. After what felt like forever, he freed himself, tore open the packet and slid the condom on. Julie’s gaze, which had been fixed on his eyes until now, drifted downward. She sucked in a breath as she took in his size.

“Uh, Brendan, not to spoil the party, but I’m not sure you’re going to fit.”

He laughed. He couldn’t help it. The way she said it with such hunger and apprehension at the same time was too endearing.

“It’ll fit. Trust me.”

“I do.” The naked trust in her gaze took his breath away.

That was it. The tenuous control he’d held onto all evening snapped. The world took on an altered hue as his eyes shifted to his animal’s.

Without another word, he pulled her hips forward, balancing Julie on the edge of the counter, and plunged forward, entering her in one thrust. The sensation of her tight sheath clasped around him was almost more than he could bear. Concern for her made him pause. But even as he worried, her eyes clouded with pleasure and a fractured moan slipped past her lips. He knew at that moment, he was the luckiest man on the planet.

Her nails dug into his shoulders as he slid out. Her hips moved forward, meeting his as he plunged back in. He wasn’t going to last long. Already he felt his release gathering at the base of his spine. The only sound in the room was their harsh breathing and the glide of his cock into her wet heat.

He grunted, changing the angle of his thrusts, driving deeper into her and increasing the pace of his strokes. Her back arched at the increased tempo, and he sensed her growing pleasure. Knew the smallest push would send her over the edge.

He ran one hand down her thigh, coming back up and pressing his thumb against her clit. The small pressure was all she needed. As her strangled cries filled the room, Brendan gripped her hips and thrust forward, grunting with each jerk of his body.

His own release crashed over him, drowning all conscious thought in its wake. His world exploded, and he jerked inside her until he was spent. All he could do was shudder as the sensations swamped him.

When conscious thought returned, his lips were wrapped around her shoulder. Thank God his fangs had retreated. He couldn’t begin to imagine her reaction if he’d mated with her without discussing it first. Julie was not someone he ever wanted to see truly angry.

When he glanced up, her eyes were closed. A tear streaked from the corner of one as he watched.

“Julie? Oh God, Julie I’m sorry. If I hurt you…” Before he could finish, her eyes opened to stare at him. Awe, not pain, was the only emotion in their depths.

“Hurt me? You’ve done more than hurt me. You’ve ruined me for all other men. There’s no way anyone could top that.”

Relief thundered through him, leaving amusement in its wake. He choked on a laugh as he considered her words. Only Julie would admit something like that.

“I do love a good challenge,” he whispered, wiping the tear from her cheek.

“What challenge?” she muttered, her gaze dipped to his mouth.

“You said nothing could top that. That was like waving a red flag in front of a bull, because, baby–” he waited until her gaze rose to his, “I fully intend to try.”