Thicker Than Water

Chapter

Four

DAR GOT TO work before eight and figured she was safe enough to enter the building dressed as she was, with her change of clothes tucked into the gym bag she was carrying. “Morning.”

She met the door guard’s eyes, daring him to look down as she strode past.

“M…ah, morning, Ms. Roberts,” the guard stammered.

Dar stopped and looked back over one shoulder at him.

“Problem?”

He shook his head vigorously.

“Good.” Dar resumed her progress to the elevator. She entered the car and let the doors close, then turned and regarded her reflection in the mirrored surface. Hm. She crossed her legs at the ankles, and watched the powerful muscles in them tense and move under her tanned skin. Maybe wearing shorts this short isn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, even this early in the morning.

The elevator perversely slowed to a halt on the 10th floor and the doors opened.

Crap. Dar exhaled silently. She would pick today to come in early. “Morning, Eleanor.” She was glad she was wearing sunglasses, which hid what she was sure was a mildly sheepish expression.

Eleanor entered the elevator and chose a spot on the side wall to lean against. “Good morning, Dar.” She smiled. “You’re a little casual today, aren’t you?”

Dar shrugged. “Had some things to do before work.” She kept her voice neutral. “What brings you here this early?” The elevator floors seemed to crawl by, taunting her as she resisted the urge to fidget under Eleanor’s appraising eyes.

“Marketing meeting, what else?” the Marketing VP

responded drolly. “You want to come? Those shorts’ll wake everyone the hell up, at least.”

Dar rolled her eyes and shrugged.

38 Melissa Good

“Hey, I’m not the one wearing them,” Eleanor said.

Dar straightened as the doors opened on fourteen. Finally.

“Well, good luck on it.” She escaped from the elevator, only to pull up as she almost crashed into Mark and three other MIS

techs. “Morning.”

And Maria. “Buenos Dias, Dar.” Her secretary managed to mask a smile. “I was going to get café. May I get you some, as well?”

“Love some,” Dar replied. “You blocking my hallway for some reason, Mark?”

Eyes up, face front. “Uh, no, actually, boss, I was just taking the guys down to pick up that new box for you. We’ll just get going now.” Mark gave the nearest tech a shove towards the elevator. “Be right back.”

Dar eyed them as they marched purposefully away. She couldn’t quite avoid hearing their hissed conversation, though.

“Holy shit, did you see those legs?”

“Shhh!”

Dar sighed. “Okay, so I’ve made my bad management decision for the morning. What’s next?” She exchanged a wry look with Maria.

“I think you look very cute, jefe.” Maria laughed. “What is the occasion?”

A sober look appeared on Dar’s face and she removed her sunglasses. “Kerry got some bad news this morning.” She opened the outer door and allowed Maria to precede her. “Her father’s had a stroke.”

“Dios Mio.” Maria’s eyes widened and she stopped in shock.

“I am so sorry to hear that, Dar.”

“Me, too.” Dar nodded. “I dropped her at the airport before I headed here.”

Her secretary frowned. “Should you not have gone with her?

That is terrible, to have someone so sick.”

Dar glanced at her. “Her family’s not fond of me.” She felt herself blushing a little at discussing something so personal.

“They’re already stressed—I don’t think my being there would help matters.”

“Ah.” Maria folded her hands. “Si, that is right. I remember now.” She seemed at a loss for words. “I feel for Kerrisita, though.

She has always felt such trouble with her family. Is there something we can do? Send something to them?”

Dar paused in the doorway to her office, considering the question. “For them? No.” She gave Maria a direct look. “But call the Marriott in Saugatuck and make sure Kerry gets treated to the best service they have there. I booked her a suite, but upgrade her Thicker Than Water 39

to the best they have, and have them stock it with the works.”

“Si.” Maria smiled. “I will do that, Dar.” She glanced at the door, where voices were growing louder. “Now, I think you maybe will change, yes?”

“Yeah.” Dar grimaced and swung the door closed after her.

“Before they start snapping pictures.”

KERRY TOOK A deep breath as she walked down the airline ramp from the plane. It had been two uneventful flights, and now that she was finally there, she wished they’d been longer. The white of the ramp gave way to dull brown brick and the familiar sights of the airport near her home.

A quick glance around told her she wasn’t being met, not that she’d expected to be since she hadn’t informed Angie of her flight plans, but part of her felt a tiny bit disappointed, all the same. On second thought, maybe that was for the best, Kerry decided, as she shouldered her bag and headed off towards the rental car counter.

Best for me to do this on my terms, right? Isn’t that what I told Dar?

She thought about that as she walked. Keeping a little distance from everyone seemed like a good plan, especially since tensions would be high, the press would probably be present, and the last thing anyone needed was a family spat right in the middle of a crisis.

In fact, on the way up, not going at all had crossed her mind several times. It was only Angie’s quiet finality that had pushed her forward, knowing in her heart that staying away and letting her father die without at least saying goodbye to him was something she just wasn’t capable of.

Or am I?

Kerry sighed unhappily and stepped up to the counter. “I’d like a car, please.” She’d picked the chain ILS usually used from habit.

“For how many days, ma’am?” the young man behind the counter asked politely.

Good question. “A week.” Kerry supplied her credit card and Florida driver’s license.

“Thanks.” The man took them and keyed in something, then paused, evidently surprised at something. “Oh, Ms. Stuart. We already have a reservation here for you.” He handed back her card. “ILS is taking care of it.”

One of Kerry’s eyebrows lifted. “They are, huh?” She found herself unable to be upset with Dar. “Okay.” She took the prof-40 Melissa Good fered keys and went outside, wincing as the cold wind bit her face. “Ugh. Forgot about that.”

She tugged her jacket closed and zipped it, then searched out her assigned car and opened the trunk to toss in her bag. Hospital first, she decided. Let’s find out the bad news. She got in the car, then drove carefully out of the parking lot and onto the icy streets.

It wasn’t that big a town and the drive to the hospital was fairly short. At midday, the place didn’t seem that busy, and she parked in the half empty visitor’s lot. She spotted a news truck parked near the back entrance, though, and several cars haphaz-ardly pulled up near it, and her suspicions were confirmed when she entered the main doors and saw the cluster of men and women, complete with cameras, standing nearby.

Will they recognize me? she wondered. The national news people had pegged her in DC, but it had taken a while, and these locals hadn’t seen her in a few years, if at all, given the turnover rate.

Certainly, if they were old timers, they wouldn’t expect the girl they’d known in lace blouses and knee length skirts, with carefully styled hair and a model slim build, to have morphed into the muscular figure in jeans and a leather jacket she knew she presented today.

Her attitude had changed as well. Kerry had studied Dar’s use of her considerable charisma and personal energy when she interacted with others, and she’d tried to inject a little of that dynamic into her own personality. Part of it was self confidence, which success at her job had given her, and part of it was an awareness of herself and her effect on other people. “Excuse me.”

She moved past the reporters with a polite nod.

They didn’t even give her a second glance. Kerry repressed a smile as she went to the reception desk. She waited for the woman behind the desk to look up, then leaned forward a little. “Could you tell me where in CCU Roger Stuart is?”

The woman gave her an immediate, guarded look, and glanced behind her at the reporters. “Are you family, ma’am?”

Kerry removed her driver’s license and showed it to the woman. “Yes.”

A quick look at the license, then at Kerry’s face, and the receptionist replied, “Hold on a moment,” as she got up and motioned for a guard. “George will take you up. George, CCU 4, okay?”

“Yes’m.” The tall, red haired guard nodded. “Come this way, please.”

Kerry followed the man through a restricted access door and down a long hallway to where a small elevator was located. Very Thicker Than Water 41

few people were in the hall, just two orderlies pushing beds and one man with an X-ray machine. She followed the guard into the elevator and waited while he inserted a key and pressed a floor.

“You part of the senator’s family?” the guard asked.

Kerry nodded. “Yes. He’s my father.”

“Hm.” The elevator reached its destination and he held the door for her. “Second alcove on your right, ma’am.”

Kerry stepped out and walked quietly across the tile floor.

Her heart pounded and shivers went up and down her spine. She could hear, faintly, the sounds of machinery around her—beeps and the gurgling of oxygen and it reminded her unpleasantly of Dar’s stay in the hospital down south.

Outside the room she paused, hearing voices. One was her mother’s. It didn’t sound good.

Oh boy. Kerry steeled herself, then took a deep breath and forced her legs to move forward into the room where a circle of strange, familiar faces ringed a bed full of lines and machines, and the almost hidden form she realized was her father.

Eyes shifted and looked at her, some in surprise, some in distress, as the doctor who’d been speaking broke off his speech and turned. “Are you part of the family here?”

It was a very awkward moment. Kerry had no idea what the real answer to that question was.

“That’s my daughter,” Cynthia Stuart murmured. “Please, go on, Doctor. Kerrison, come here.”

There wasn’t much else she could do. Kerry walked across the silent room to her mother’s side, shocked when her hand was grabbed and held in desperation. She felt Angie move closer to her as they turned and faced the somber looking man in the white coat.

“Ms. Stuart,” the doctor said gently, “we were just going over what we mean when we talk about a coma.”

DAR ALMOST HAD to laugh when she looked up to see Mark peeking cautiously around the door to her office. “Yes?” she growled.

“You…um…ready to review that firmware?” Mark asked.

“I’ve got my whole bunch of guys reviewing how something got upgraded and we missed it.”

She picked up her cup of steaming coffee and sipped it.

“Sure.” Now soberly dressed in her iron gray suit and silk shirt, she leaned back and watched as he entered with a clipboard. “So, how’d we do?”

Mark took a seat across from her. “I have no clue.” He 42 Melissa Good grinned briefly. “Here’s the network paths to the dump; I figured you’d know what to do with them.” He handed the clipboard to Dar. “There you go.”

“Thanks.” Dar accepted it and reviewed the page, then glanced up to catch Mark intently studying her. One of her eyebrows lifted. “Something wrong?”

He hesitated, then gave her a slight shrug. “Didn’t expect to see you here so early.”

“Earlier I start, earlier Alastair has his answer,” Dar replied.

“Why don’t you take off?”

“I got some sleep in the center,” Mark said. “What about you?”

Dar sighed. “Kerry had to fly up to see her family. Wasn’t much time to sleep.”

Mark nodded. “I saw on the newscast he was sick. Stroke, they said, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That sucks,” Mark said. “I know stuff is all screwed up between her and her family, but it still sucks.” He glanced around.

“Listen, Dar, if you want to head up there, I can try and…”

It was almost funny. Dar rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers and wondered how she had managed to get her entire staff to morph overnight into solicitous nannies. “Mark, get your ass out of here and go figure out how the hell we slipped up by not testing that new release before it got put into production.

Something got missed.” She pinned him with a look. “Now!”

He jumped. “Okay.” One hand lifted. “Okay, I get the message, boss. No problem.” He slid out of the chair and ducked around the door, leaving Dar in peace.

Silence settled for a moment before she pulled her keyboard in front of her and called up the files, glad of the large, flat screen with its crisp display. However, tired as she was, she couldn’t avoid acknowledging the fuzziness of the characters unless she squinted at them, and she admitted to herself that her long deferred trip to the optometrist’s had to be well and truly scheduled.

Damn. Her lips quirked in annoyance. The hell if I want to wear glasses. A scowl appeared as she started up her analysis program.

Or contact lenses.

Hey. She studied the screen for a moment, then tapped it with one long finger. If I only need the blasted things when I look at the monitor… A sly grin crossed her face. Why not just have whatever adjustment I need built into a screen shield?

“Yeah.” Dar felt a little more cheerful. She settled back and reviewed the files. As the screen filled with data, she searched for Thicker Than Water 43

patterns, trying to ignore the growing unease inside her guts.

THE WAITING ROOM for the critical care unit was small and discreet, tucked away behind the medical area and reserved for the families of the patients who were sequestered there. Kerry cradled her cup in her hands, using the coffee’s mottled surface as a concentration point while she thought.

My father is dying.

Kerry felt the styrofoam surface under her fingers dent slightly as she flexed her hands. The interruption of blood supply due to the stroke had hit in the worst place imaginable—the parts of his brain that kept him alive and breathing without assistance from the noisy machines that dominated the space he was in. The machines that were the only thing keeping him alive.

Around her, the family was seated in grim silence. Her mother, breathing in short, sobbing gasps, sat between Kerry and Angie. Michael was on the other side of her, nervously twisting a tri-fold napkin into a thin, tight line. Richard paced back and forth on the far side of the room, where one of her aunts also sat with an uncle. Nobody wanted to talk.

Kerry knew she was the focus of uneasy attention. She’d heard the ugly whispers as they’d left the CCU unit and walked down the hall: how she didn’t belong there, how her father had hated her. How it was her fault—causing the strain he’d been under that finally got to him.

Kerry couldn’t even lie to herself and say it wasn’t true, because she knew at some level it was. She’d come to terms with that in her heart, during that week they’d spent in Key West after the hearings. Come to terms with the fact that she’d done what she’d done for the reasons she’d done it, and reluctantly accepted that if she’d had to make the decision all over again, she probably wouldn’t have done it.

But she had, and good or bad, she had to live with that decision for the rest of her life. She’d always held out a faint hope that someday, somehow, after enough time had passed, she’d have a chance to go home and maybe she could sit down with her father and just…talk.

Kerry drew in a breath, feeling the finality of the moment.

There will be no chance of talking now. The doctor had been gentle and kind, but he’d held out no false hope to them. He’d just given them some time to sit down and absorb the truth, and told them of their limited options. The machines could not give him a life again, but they could keep him alive; did they want them to?

Kerry was surprised to feel tears gathering behind her eyes.

44 Melissa Good Surprised that losing him hurt as much as it did—after all that had happened and everything that had come between them, he was still her father.

“Mama.” Angie’s voice was shaky. “Can I get you a drink?”

Kerry looked up to see her mother jerk her head up and down, one hand pressed to her mouth in evident agony. Their eyes met and Kerry slowly extended her cup. “Here, mom, take mine. I haven’t touched it.”

For a moment, she thought her mother would refuse, but then her hand lowered and accepted the cup, spilling it a little as Kerry released it.

“Thank you,” her mother whispered, as she brought it to her lips and took a sip.

Kerry exhaled, slowly looking around the room. The tension was almost a visible fog, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be out of there. She stood up. “I’m going to,” she could almost feel the stares on her, “stretch my legs. I’ll be right back.”

Before anyone could think of joining her, she made it to the door and slipped out into the hallway, a puff of cooler air from the vent overhead feeling very welcome in the warm indoors.

She’d forgotten what needing heat was like and had shed her jacket when she’d found herself sweating after a few moments inside the building. At least she thought that was because of the heat.

Kerry stuck her hands in her pockets and paced across the tiled floor, threading through a maze of conflicting emotions.

When she looked up, she found herself outside the CCU unit, looking through the multiple glass windows to the alcove in which her father lay. For a moment she simply stared. Then, with a quiet breath, she went to the quiet corner full of hissing noise and soft beeps…and lost chances.

DAR SAT WITH Duks and Mariana in the lunchroom; the busy crowds lessened in the late afternoon, leaving the big room mostly empty and pleasantly quiet.

“Sure you don’t want a bite of this, DR?” Duks nudged his plate of chocolate cake towards her. “You’re getting me worried about you today.”

Dar waved a hand at him, settled back in her chair, and nursed her glass of milk. “No thanks, Duks. Damn painkillers I’m taking for my shoulder are making me queasy.” She indicated her mostly uneaten lunch. “I’ll take a rain check.”

Mariana chewed a bite of her salad and swallowed. “Dar, why not go home?” She studied her friend’s face. “We can cancel the Thicker Than Water 45

staff meeting.”

Home. Dar felt the strain of the long day and longer night, and the thought of lying down and letting her wound up body relax was very, very tempting. Then she remembered how quiet the condo was without its other occupant, and scowled a little.

“Maybe later.”

“Heard from Kerry yet?” Duks asked casually. “News is very circumspect from there.”

“Not yet.” Dar shook her head, somberly studying her milk.

“Hey, anything come of the internal audit this quarter?”

Duks gracefully accepted the change of subject. “One or two very small things, but they are inconsequential. We are very good at chasing our own tails, is it not true?”

“True,” Dar said. Duks’ alert and aggressive internal auditors watched the computer systems like hawks. One digit out of place brought them sniffing around, even in her area, where the problems usually tended to be misplaced receipts and forgotten cellular bill overages rather than anything more criminal. Their one line woven in the carpet was the one leading to inside her office—

if any of them had any questions, they fed them directly to Duks, who could be depended on to pay Dar a visit and present them.

Or not. Dar had been surprised to find out that Duks would sometimes merely sign off on things that were slightly out of line from Operations, and she’d cornered him on it once. The big VP of Finance had laughed, then seriously told her that just as her judg-ment was trusted without question in her realm, she should extend the same courtesy to him.

Good point, Dar had admitted, after a moment.

Duks had shaken a finger at her. “Just don’t try to get away with anything more than a stick of chewing gum.”

“Worst thing I think you found this time was José taking home cases of Bustelo,” Mari commented with a dry chuckle.

“Mm.” Dar shrugged. “Sounds about right.” She decided she’d had enough chitchat, and got up. “I’ve got problems in the Northeast. Later.” She picked up her tray and deposited it in the collection bin, then left the café.

DAR’S PHONE WAS ringing as she entered her office, and she hurried over to it as she realized it was her private line.

“Yeah”

“Hello, Dar?”

Ah. “Afternoon, Gerry.” Dar circled around her desk and sat down. “What can I do for you?”

The general cleared his throat. “Just came from a meeting, 46 Melissa Good Dar. Me and a few top brass going over your report.”

“Ah.” Dar felt a touch of unease. “Guess it’s going to stir up a lot of crap, huh?”

General Easton paused, then sighed audibly. “Dar, I wanted to talk to you myself about this. Wasn’t the thing we were looking for when we brought you in here, y’know.”

“I know,” Dar replied. “I wasn’t glad to find it.”

“Of course, of course,” Gerry acknowledged hastily. “You wouldn’t, after all, would you? You grew up there, mostly.”

“Mostly.”

There was another awkward pause. “Damnable thing, Dar. If half of what’s in here pans out, it’s a disaster. A big disaster: for the Navy, for the country…Damnable thing.”

Dar drew in a breath, then released it. “Guess they should have thought of that before they did it. You sound like you’re regretting the project.”

Easton cleared his throat a bit. “I have to shut it down, Dar.

We can’t use this.” His voice took on a cooler tint. “The government doesn’t accept the results of your investigation.” He paused and then had the grace to add, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Dar wondered if she’d heard right. “What?”

“Look, we’ll pay off the contract, no worry about that,” Easton said. “You won’t be the loser for it, Dar. But it has to stop. I’ll discard this package, and you have to destroy any copies you have.”

Dar blinked. A sense of shock made her skin prickle and she stood up in pure reflex, animal energy surging. “Am I hearing you right?” She paced around the desk. “Are you saying you’re not going to do anything?”

“Now, Dar.” Easton tried to sound offhand. “I’m sure a lot of this can be explained in any number of ways. Not everything’s a plot, y’know.”

Dar slammed both hands on her desk and leaned over the speakerphone. “Plot? Goddamn it, Gerry, it’s not some kind of damn plot; it’s a criminal act of major proportions! Are you telling me you’re just going to sit back up there and let those son of a bitches get off scot free?”

“Dar.”

“Don’t you ‘Dar’ me.” Dar’s temper built. “I risked my damn life going back in that hell hole because you asked me to, and now you tell me never mind?”

“You don’t understand,” Easton responded forcefully.

“There’s more at stake here than one measly base, Dar. This could rock the entire Navy. Do you want that? Do you want everything your father fought for dragged through every inch of muck Thicker Than Water 47

between Key Largo and DC?”

Dar stared at the phone. “The people in that report,” she took a breath, “deserve that.”

“I don’t give a damn about them,” Easton shot back. “It’s the Navy I care about. I’m not going to let something like this make us the laughingstock of the damn country. Of every other country.

I’m just not going to do it, Dar!”

Dar settled into her chair, folded her hands carefully on the desk, and leaned forward. “If you don’t,” she enunciated the words very, very carefully, “I will.”

For a moment, dead silence reigned. Dar waited, anger puls-ing through her veins and making her nostrils flare as her breathing deepened and her heartbeat slowed. Her hands twitched, as though sensing an impending battle.

“You wouldn’t do that,” Easton said quietly. “I know you, Paladar.”

The very faintest hint of a wry smile appeared on Dar’s face.

“You only think you do,” she growled softly, reveling in the tension. “I will do it, Gerald.” She paused. “I have to.”

A final parry was inevitable. “Think of your father, Dar.

Don’t you care what he thinks, how he’ll feel if you do this? You know how he loves the Navy.”

A sense of peace settled over Dar. “I am thinking of him. He’d whup the tar out of me if I did any less, Gerry, and we both know that.”

Another silence stretched between them. “Well, damn it.”

Easton sounded more than frustrated. “I’m calling that boss of yours in here tomorrow and I’ll see if I can talk sense to him then, if I can’t get through your thick skull!” He slammed the phone down, leaving a ringing in Dar’s ears.

Damn it.

She took a deep breath, surprised to find herself shaking a little. “Damn.” She lowered her head into her hands and closed her eyes, thinking about what she’d said. Did Easton have a point?

Would the report do irreparable damage to the service? “Guess I better warn Alastair.”

“DAR.”

Dar jumped almost a foot in her chair and whirled, shocked to see her father standing just inside the door that led down the back hall to Kerry’s office. She stared at him, then relaxed back into her seat. “Dad.”

Andrew Roberts removed his hands from the pockets of his pullover, walked around the desk to her, and looked down, his 48 Melissa Good face quiet and very serious.

Dar knew a moment of self-doubt. Gerald Easton had been right in one thing, she knew her father’s love and loyalty to the service ran very deep and very strong. She looked up into those pale blue eyes so like her own and wondered, Is the general right?

Is this too big a sacrifice? “Guess you heard all that.”

“Yeap.” Andy cupped Dar’s cheek in rare, gentle touch. “I ain’t never whupped you, Paladar.”

She gave a faint, mildly embarrassed shrug. “Sounded good.”

Dar looked down, then back up. “Was I wrong?”

A grin remarkably like her own appeared. “Hell no, you weren’t wrong.” Andy eyed the phone. “But that there’s gonna be a hell of a problem.”

Dar nodded.

“Heard about Kerry’s pop.” Andy’s expression sobered.

“Don’t rain but it pours, don’t it?”

Dar nodded again, tiredly. “Yeap.” She thought about what Alastair would say and winced.

Trouble. Oh yeah.

“I was about to head home,” Dar said. “Been a long day.”

“C’mon.” Andy offered her a hand up. “Got me some dog hairs I need to give back over by your place.” He put an arm around Dar’s shoulders as they walked to the door.

IT WAS ALMOST like looking at a stranger. Kerry curled her fingers around the cold metal bars and gazed at her father’s face, half-hidden by the tubes and machinery keeping him alive. His eyes were taped closed and there was no expression on his face, as though he were no longer a person but rather a mannequin used for training.

He would hate this so much, Kerry thought. Hate their pity, and the helplessness, and the indignity of it all. She lifted her eyes and studied the machines, then returned her gaze to that still, closed face. It was hard to know what to feel.

Kerry tried to remember the last time she’d felt joy in her father’s presence. When he’d been “daddy,” and she’d smiled just to see him. Her eyes moistened as she acknowledged just how long ago that was and how very young she’d been.

Too young to understand.

Maybe, five, six? Kerry’s lips tightened as a dimly remembered scene flickered before her—a birthday party. She’d gotten a pair of roller skates she’d desperately wanted, blue ones with silver tassels, and she’d thrown her arms around her father in sheer delight because she knew he’d gotten them for her.

Thicker Than Water 49

Five, then, before she’d gone to school, when life had been as simple as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and the long days of fall she could skate in. She had a picture, somewhere, of herself in those skates, with kneepads and a grubby T-shirt. Grinning.

He’d hugged her back. Patted her. Called her his little girl.

Kerry flexed her hands on the bars, and released a shaky breath. That had been a very long time ago, indeed. She reached through the bars and laid her hand on her father’s arm, the skin feeling dry and papery beneath her touch. Then she slid her hand down until she curled her fingers around his, a simple touch she hadn’t felt since she’d been a child.

What she chiefly felt right now, Kerry acknowledged, was a deep sense of regret. “I’m sorry, daddy. I wish it hadn’t been like this.” She watched the unresponsive face. “I never meant for us to hate each other.”

She blinked, feeling a few tears spill down her face. “I hope you find peace with God.”

For a few moments, she simply stood there, holding his hand.

Then a sound made her look up, to see one of the nurses coming in. They exchanged awkward glances. “Sorry.” Kerry released her hold and backed away. “I know I’m not supposed to be in here.”

“It’s all right,” the nurse replied with quiet compassion. “Is that your father, honey?”

Kerry nodded.

“I’m sorry.” The woman, who was probably twice Kerry’s age, had a sweet face and a warm expression. “I know it must be tough for you.” She walked around to Kerry’s side and fixed a tube next to the bed. “Take your time. Everything we can do for him, we’re doing.”

“I know you are.” Kerry wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “How…um...” She cleared her throat. “How long could he stay like this?”

The nurse faced her and met her eyes honestly. “As long as you let him.” At Kerry’s look of pain, she put out a hand. “I’m sorry, honey. I know that sounds harsh. But you know something?

I’ve worked in this unit for a long time, and sometimes death isn’t our enemy.”

Kerry found a place on the tile floor to focus on.

The nurse took a step back. “I’m sorry.” She fell silent. “I didn’t meant to upset you. I thought the doctor had already spoken to the family about this.”

“He did,” Kerry murmured softly. “But I don’t think we’re ready for that decision yet.”

They were both silent for a few moments, then Kerry shifted and put her hands on the bars. She felt sick to her stomach, the 50 Melissa Good tension creeping up her back and making her head pound. The nurse watched her, then adjusted a wire and left quietly, her steps muffled by the overhead speakers making soft, urgent announce-ments.

DAR AND ANDREW sat side by side on the couch, sharing a bowl of ice cream and a good deal of conversation. “If that’s what you found there,” Andrew portioned off a scoop of vanilla, “what else they got to look forward to? Can’t blame ’em for sticking their heads back down underneath the manure, Dardar.”

“Dad, it’s not like this is Tailhook,” Dar said. “Or some half assed misuse of government funds crap. This is documented evidence of big money smuggling and money laundering.”

Andrew grunted.

Dar removed a cherry and bit down on the stem as she considered all that had happened. “Hell if I’m going to let that jackass get away with this. Alastair’s just gonna have to take a stand on his morals on this one.”

Andrew glanced at her. “Ah don’t think Jeff Ainsbright’s the mover and shaker, Dardar. Just the nitwit they done got to front it all. Figgured he done just used his kid to roadblock you.”

“A pair of stooges.” Dar sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But damn it, someone has to be behind it, Dad.”

“Yeap.” Andrew nodded. “Problem is, that feller pro’bly ain’t gonna get hisself nailed for it. Big shots always find some little feller to squash.”

“Maybe. But I’m not going to help them hide it.” Dar glanced at the sliding glass doors, which showed a peaceful darkness outside. She was a little surprised she hadn’t heard from Kerry, but maybe no news was good news. The television had reported several times that the senator’s condition was “guarded,” and Dar figured that at least sounded all right. “Thanks for keeping me company for dinner, by the way.”

“Heh.” Andrew chuckled. “Your momma’s done gone to one of them art things tonight. I figured pot luck with you was gonna beat out that crackers and cheese mess they always have.”

“Ah. Yeah, I’m not much into the rubber chicken circuit myself.” Dar smiled. “I used to leave business cocktail parties and stop at Burger King on the way home.” She jumped a little as her cell phone rang. “Whoops.” She dug it out, checked the caller id, and opened it. “Hey.”

There was silence for a moment, then a sigh. “Hey.”

Dar sat up, reading the tension and grief in her lover’s voice.

“What’s wrong?”

Thicker Than Water 51

“What isn’t?” Kerry whispered. “Oh, Dar.”

Panic set in. Dar’s pulse jumped, and her mind raced. “Are you okay?” Her voice took on a sharp edge and Andy put the bowl on the table and watched her in evident concern. “Where are you?”

Kerry leaned against the car door and closed her eyes. “Outside the hotel. In the car. I just wanted to talk to you before I went in.” She wished her head didn’t feel like it was exploding. “They want us to pull the plug.”

Dar sucked in her breath. “God, I’m sorry, Ker.”

“Me, too,” Kerry replied softly. “Everyone’s a wreck. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.” She’d gone back from the CCU unit and faced her mother, who was in hysterics and everyone else in pieces, and just dealing with the barrage had been difficult enough.

Getting out of the hospital had been worse. The press had rubbed them raw and she’d finally torn herself free, outran two of the most persistent and jumped over a low wall that had led her to where her car was parked.

Her relatives had all gone to her family’s house. They expected her to follow. Kerry had huddled inside the car, knowing she couldn’t. It was just too much. Now she was outside the hotel and reaching for her lifeline. “Shit.”

“Want me on a plane?” Dar asked. “Screw everything.”

Kerry’s defenses broke down. Her throat closed and her eyes fill with tears and she suddenly wanted to be in Dar’s arms so badly it hurt. She gasped and held the phone close, trying not to start sobbing.

“That’s it. I’m on the way.” Dar’s voice went from concerned to decisive in quick order. “Just hang on, okay?”

Kerry took several deep breaths. “No…wait,” she managed to get out. “Dear God, I’d love for you to be here.” She sucked in another ragged breath. “But they can’t take it, Dar. It’s too much.”

“Fuck them,” Dar replied. “I don’t give a damn about them. I give a damn about you and what you want, and that’s all there is to it.”

Kerry watched several couples walk by.

“So what do you want?” Dar asked very quietly.

“I want you,” Kerry whispered.

“You’ve got me.”

“Give me a day with them, Dar.” Kerry felt very, very tired.

“I think we’re going to make the decision tomorrow night. I could use a friend around when that happens.”

“I’ll be there,” Dar said. “Are you all right?”

She could feel the tunneling starting. “No.” The light outside 52 Melissa Good was suddenly garish. “Let me go inside before this migraine hits.”

“Call me later,” Dar said. “Please?”

“I will,” Kerry replied. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Kerry closed the phone and gathered her strength, then opened the door and let in the cold night air.

DAR SET THE phone down and stared at it. “Damn it.”

Andrew put his plate down. “Not doing too good up there?”

“He’s on life support and they want to end it.”

“Ah.” Her father drew in a sobering breath. “Wall, I got to say I never had much use for that feller, but I feel bad for Kerry having to go through all that.”

“Yeah.” Dar went over and over Kerry’s words, and more importantly, the tone behind them.

“You going up over there?”

“Tomorrow. Probably,” Dar replied. “Kerry said her family’s pretty shook up.”

Andrew’s eyes twinkled. “Think she’d want you up there just to take their minds off her.”

“Huh.” Dar stood up and walked across the living room. She stopped at the back sliding doors and gazed out over the porch to the sea. The sunset poured across the sand and water, a lone seagull drifted over the waves as though searching for something in its depths.

Kerry had specifically asked her not to come up until she was ready. Dar respected her partner’s desire and almost understood the ambivalence between Kerry wanting the comfort of her presence, and not wanting the antagonism it would cause.

She understood it. Really, she did. Her ears twitched, hearing the echo of that stifled sob as Kerry told her to stay, and she balanced it against the knowledge that between the network problem and the military, things were going to come down at work the next day. “Dad?”

“Surely I’ll give you a ride to that thar airport, Dardar,”

Andrew said placidly. “’Member to pack them long johns. It ain’t tropical up there.”

Dar met her own eyes’ reflection in the sliding glass door.

“Well, worst she could do is throw me out of her hotel room. She doesn’t have to tell anyone I’m there, right?”

“Yeap.”

Dar turned. “Thanks for the ride offer, but I don’t know how long we’ll be out there. I’ll just leave mine at the airport.”

A grizzled brow moved upward. “Dangerous, them parking Thicker Than Water 53

lots, Dardar.”

“Um.” Dar’s eyes twinkled sheepishly. “I use the valet.” She escaped to the bedroom, taking her yuppy confessions with her.

Andrew merely chuckled and got up to put the dishes in the sink.

AT LEAST THE lobby was quiet. Kerry brushed past the tastefully decorated Christmas tree, causing the ornaments to tin-kle softly, and sidestepped a heavyset man intent on gaining the bar. The Marriott tended to attract business travelers, and the lounge seemed to be full of them, bending forward in intent conversation as a ball game played mutely in the background.

The front desk was devoid of guests, and Kerry gratefully set her bag down and fished for her wallet as the clerk looked up and gave her a friendly smile. “I have a reservation. Under Stuart.”

The young clerk, a well scrubbed boy with short blond hair obligingly tapped a few keys on his computer, then smiled. “Yes, ma’am, Ms. Stuart; we certainly do have it.”

God bless you, Dar. Kerry leaned wearily on the counter, hoping she’d taken her painkillers in time. She handed over her credit card.

“Do you need help with your luggage, ma’am?” the clerk asked, ignoring the card and presenting her with an envelope.

“Your key’s in there. It’s the twelfth floor, turn right, first door.”

Kerry took the envelope. “Thanks.” She put her credit card back into her wallet, too tired and sick to argue about it. Dar’s planning, she was sure, but there would be time enough to change it when she checked out. She shouldered her bag and trudged to the elevator, wishing the perkily playing holiday Musak tape would break and leave her in peace.

But no. The music continued in the elevator, which climbed leisurely to the twelfth floor and finally released her into a cooler hallway. “Turn right, first door,” Kerry muttered, following the instructions and finding herself unsurprisingly in front of a hotel room door set in an alcove by itself. She fished in the envelope and pulled out the electronic key, slid it in and listened for the click, then pushed the handle down and shoved the door open.

It took her three steps before she noticed something unusual—the door slammed shut behind her as she stood and simply stared.

“What on earth?” Kerry whispered. The room was huge, roughly three times the size of a regular room, and laid out as though it was a… She stuck her head into the bathroom and saw the heart shaped tub. “I’m in the honeymoon suite. What in the 54 Melissa Good hell am I doing in here?”

She walked to a plush, leather chair and sat down and took in the fully stocked bar, plates of pretty good-looking fruit, and the half-sized refrigerator.

Exhaustion overtook her. She slumped forward and leaned her elbows on her knees, too tired even to care. Feeling the pain building, she cradled her head in her hands and decided that if she was going to be sick and miserable, it might as well be in such luxurious surroundings. She hadn’t eaten anything all day, but the thought of food almost made her gag. With a groan, she pushed herself to her feet, dragged her bag over to the bed, lifted it up, and unzipped it.

The soft smell of home wafted out. Kerry’s fingers stilled, then she pulled out her sleep shirt and buried her face in it, detecting Dar’s scent faintly around its edges. As the tears rose in her eyes, she dropped onto the bed and just let them out, the moisture soaking into the cotton fabric.

It only lasted a few moments. She sniffled and dried her face, debating whether to just stay where she was, fully dressed, instead of expending the effort it would take to get up and get undressed. Finally, she rolled over and got up. She shrugged off her jacket and tossed it onto the chair, and then pulled off her shirt and unfastened her jeans.

A chill made her shiver, and she pulled her sleep shirt on and sat down on the bed, unlaced her sneakers, and pulled them off.

She flexed her toes against the carpeted floor and sighed, then tossed the scuffed Reeboks over near the chair, as well. “Brr,” she muttered, rubbing her arms as she got up, wandered into the bathroom, and paused when she was confronted with her reflection in the mirror.

Disordered blond hair framed a pale, haggard face with bloodshot eyes and lines of tension across the forehead. Kerry grimaced, then ran water in the sink and splashed some onto her cheeks, causing another chill to almost make her teeth chatter. She straightened, dried herself off, then walked back into the main room and headed for the bed. Just as she reached it, her stomach rebelled, and she sat down quickly, and reached for the garbage can as she half convulsed.

It was mostly dry heaves, save for the bitter taste of the aspirin she’d taken. But it made her head pound all the more fiercely and she uttered a soft oath as she leaned against the nightstand, breathing hard. The nausea increased, and she dropped the basket and stumbled into the bathroom, just making it to the toilet before her stomach heaved again.

She truly saw stars. Her vision blacked out from the pressure, Thicker Than Water 55

and as her body was gripped in a convulsive spasm, all she could see was sparkles. Her legs buckled and she dropped painfully to her knees onto the tile, holding on to the basin for dear life. At last it eased, and she slumped, shivering and gasping, against the tub.

It was the absolute worst she’d ever felt in her life. Even her dislocated shoulder hadn’t been that bad. Kerry felt like her head was going to split right open, and she whimpered softly, holding her temples with both hands. Her whole body was shivering, and she grabbed the bath towels, and pulled their scant warmth around her as she crouched there in agony.

She didn’t know what else to do. She moaned softly as her stomach twisted again, and her body convulsed, forcing nothing but bile up out of her guts. Oh, God. Her teeth chattered uncon-trollably and made her headache even worse.

IT WAS ALMOST midnight as Dar got off the elevator and emerged into the hallway. She paused as she collected her thoughts and tried to figure out what she could say to Kerry that would excuse the disregarding of her wishes.

Then she simply shrugged and faced the door, hesitating before she knocked. There was no sound coming from the room, and Dar realized that on top of everything else, she’d be waking her partner up. Well, she glanced at the key she’d been given, might as well get this over with.

Gingerly, she slid the key into the lock and opened the door.

She slipped inside and closed the door behind her. At once, she realized something was wrong. The lights were on and the room was empty, Kerry’s clothing strewn about with uncharacteristic sloppiness.

Dar heart started to pound. She glanced around, then pushed the door to the bathroom open and froze for a shocked instant before she jumped across the tile and dropped to her knees beside the pathetic figure curled up in the corner.

“K...” Dar could barely speak as she carefully lifted the disordered towels off her lover and turned her over. Kerry had been throwing up, she could tell, and crying, and Dar was a split second from calling 911 when Kerry’s eyes fluttered open and tracked to her in dire confusion. “Hey…easy.”

“D…Dar?” Kerry whispered hoarsely. “Oh…dear God…I was…praying you’d come.” She reached out a shaking hand. “I hurt so much.”

“Easy.” Dar fought down the panic with difficulty. She sat on the cold tile floor and gathered Kerry clumsily into her arms, unsure of what to do to help her. “Where does it hurt, sweet-56 Melissa Good heart?”

“M…my head.” Kerry moaned. “How long…have I been here? It’s tomorrow already?”

“No. Shhh.” Dar cradled her gently, rubbing her neck with one hand. “They told me I’d get a fifty percent discount if I flew up tonight. I couldn’t resist.”

“Uhngh.” Kerry curled an arm around Dar’s leg and pressed her lips against the denim covering her thigh. “Tried…to take something…Kept coming back up.”

Dar reached over her head, turned the water on, and dampened a washcloth under the warming water. She pulled her arm back down and gently cleaned Kerry’s face. “So I see.”

The green eyes flickered open to peer at her, so bloodshot they seemed almost ochre in the bland light. “I’ve nev…never felt like this before. I th…it got really b...bad there, I wasn’t…I think I blacked out.”

Dar finished her task. “How’s your head now?” She pushed the damp hair out of Kerry’s eyes.

“Hurts.” Kerry closed her eyes. “Everything hurts.” She plucked at Dar’s sleeve with shaking fingers and tried to get closer. “It’s so cold.”

“C’mon, let’s get you into bed.” Dar took a deep breath and braced herself. She got an arm under Kerry’s knees and one around her shoulders, and prayed as she stood up, biting the inside of her lip as a bolt of pure agony ripped through her shoulder.

“Dar…put m’down...you’re gonna hurt yourself,” Kerry protested faintly.

“Shhh, I’m fine,” Dar said. “Hold on to my neck.”

Kerry obediently clutched at her, shivers moving through her body. “But your shoulder—”

Later for that. “It’s fine.” With a grunt of sheer will, Dar turned, walked stolidly to the bed, and let Kerry down onto it. She pulled the blankets down and tucked them around her lover’s chilled body, hearing and feeling the sigh of relief as Kerry relaxed onto the soft surface. “That’s my girl.”

Kerry peeked at her from half closed eyes. “Am I?” she murmured, licking her dry lips.

“Oh, yeah.” Dar managed a smile. “Still cold?”

“Yes.”

Dar stood up and took her jacket off, then removed her sweatshirt. “Hang on, and I’ll do something about that.” She glanced around the room, then retrieved a bottle of water from the small bar and brought it back with her. “Sweetie, you need to drink some of this.”

Thicker Than Water 57

Kerry grimaced. “Only if you want it back in your lap.”

“Just a little.” Dar knelt and removed the bottle top, then spotted a neatly wrapped stack of straws and grabbed one.

“Here.” She guided the straw to Kerry’s lips. “Just sip it.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya,” Kerry mumbled, but sucked weakly at the liquid. She swallowed the mouthful then waited, apparently very surprised when it stayed put. She drank some more, then stopped. “’Nough.”

Dar watched her quietly for a moment, then put the bottle down. She kicked her shoes off, slipped out of her jeans, and laid them neatly across the chair before getting under the covers.

“Easy.”

Kerry kept her eyes closed, but turned over and burrowed into Dar’s body, letting out a piteous little sound as Dar folded long arms and legs around her. “Ohh. Thank God you’re here.”

Thank God I listened to my heart instead of my conscience. Dar hugged her. “I’m here, Kerry. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

She could feel the shivers slowly abate, and she gently stroked Kerry’s hair until the rigid muscles relaxed under her touch.

“Easy. I’ve got you.”

“Mm,” Kerry murmured. “Thank you, Lord, for hearing me begging for my Dar.” She exhaled, her teeth discontinuing their clenched chattering at last.

Dar smiled. “And here I thought you were going to be mad at me for showing up early. Should have listened to Dad. He said not to worry.”

Finally, and even though it hurt, Kerry also smiled. She tangled her hands in Dar’s shirt and made a low, contented sound.

“He was right. I needed you.”

Dar rubbed Kerry’s back very gently. “You’ve got me.”

Everything happening elsewhere faded out, becoming unimportant as she focused on this one thing that did matter. “So, I’m for-given?”

Kerry nodded weakly. “Even for putting me in the honeymoon suite.” The agony faded enough for sleep to make inroads.

“I love you.”

Dar kissed her head. “I love you, too.”