Torment

FOUR FIFTEEN DAYS

She wasn’t that blond.

Luce wet her hands in the sink and tugged her short bleached waves. She’d made it through a full load of classes on Thursday, which included an unexpectedly stiff two-hour safety lecture from Francesca to reiterate why the Announcers were not to be messed with casually (it almost seemed like she’d been addressing Luce directly); back-to-back pop quizzes in her “regular” biology and math classes in the main school building; and what felt like eight straight hours of aghast stares from her classmates, Nephilim and non-Neph kids alike.

Even though Shelby had acted cool about Luce’s new look in the privacy of their dorm room the night before, she wasn’t effusive with compliments the way Arriane was or reliably supportive the way Penn had been. Stepping out into the world this morning, Luce had been overcome by nerves. Miles had been the first to see her, and he’d given her a thumbs-up. But he was so nice, he’d never let on if he really thought she looked terrible.

Of course, Dawn and Jasmine had flocked to her side right after humanities, eager to touch her hair, asking Luce who her inspiration had been.

“Very Gwen Stefani,” Jasmine had said, nodding.

“No, it’s Madge, right?” Dawn said. “Like, ‘Vogue’ era.” Before Luce could answer, Dawn gestured between Luce and herself. “But I guess we aren’t Twinkies anymore.”

“Twinkies?” Luce shook her head.

Jasmine squinted at Luce. “Come on, don’t say you never noticed? You two look … well, looked so much alike. You practically could have been sisters.”

Now, standing alone before the main school building’s bathroom mirror, Luce gazed at her reflection and thought about wide-eyed Dawn. They had similar coloring: pale skin, flushed lips, dark hair. But Dawn was smaller than she was. She wore bright colors six days a week. And she was way more chipper than Luce could ever be. A few superficial aspects aside, Luce and Dawn couldn’t have been more different.

The bathroom door swung open and a wholesome-looking brunette in jeans and a yellow sweater entered. Luce recognized her from European history class. Amy Something. She leaned against the sink next to Luce and began to fidget with her eyebrows.

“Why’d you do that to your hair?” she asked, eyeing Luce.

Luce blinked. It was one thing to talk about it with her sort-of friends at Shoreline, but she’d never even spoken to this girl before.

Shelby’s answer, fresh start, popped into her mind, but who was she kidding? All that bottle of peroxide had done last night was make Luce look as phony on the outside as she already felt on the inside. Callie and her parents would hardly recognize her right now, which wasn’t the point at all.

And Daniel. What would Daniel think? Luce suddenly felt so transparently fake; even a stranger could see through her.

“I don’t know.” She pushed past the girl and out the bathroom door. “I don’t know why I did it.”

Bleaching her hair wouldn’t wash away the dark memories of the past few weeks. If she really wanted a fresh start, she’d have to make one. But how? There was so little she actually had control over at the moment. Her whole world was in the hands of Mr. Cole and Daniel. And they were both far away.

It was scary how quickly and how much she’d come to rely on Daniel, scarier still that she didn’t know when she’d see him next. Compared to the bliss-filled days with him she’d been expecting in California, this was the loneliest she’d ever been.

She trudged across the campus, slowly realizing that the only time she’d felt any independence since she’d arrived at Shoreline had been …

Alone in the woods with the shadow.

After yesterday’s in-class demonstration, Luce had been expecting more of the same from Francesca and Steven. She had hoped that maybe the students would have a chance to experiment with the shadows on their own today. She’d even had the briefest fantasy of being able to do what she’d done in the forest in front of all the Nephilim.

None of that had happened. In fact, class today had felt like a big step back. A boring lecture about Announcer etiquette and safety, and why the students should never, under any circumstances, try on their own what they’d seen the day before.

It was frustrating and regressive. So now, instead of heading back to the dorm, Luce found herself jogging behind the mess hall, down the trail to the edge of the bluff, and up the wooden stairs of the Nephilim lodge. Francesca’s office was in the annex on the second floor, and she’d told the class to feel free to come by anytime.

The building was remarkably different without the other students to warm it up. Dim and drafty and almost abandoned-feeling. Every noise Luce made seemed to carry, echoing off the sloping wooden beams. She could see a lamp on the landing one floor up and smell the rich aroma of brewing coffee. She didn’t know yet whether she was going to tell Francesca what she’d been able to do in the forest. It might seem insignificant to someone as skilled as Francesca. Or it might seem like a violation of her instructions to the class today.

Part of Luce just wanted to feel her teacher out, to see whether she might be someone Luce could turn to when, on days like today, she started to feel as if she might fall apart.

She reached the top of the stairs and found herself at the head of a long, open hallway. On her left, beyond the wooden banister, she looked down at the dark, empty classroom on the second story. On her right was a row of heavy wooden doors with stained-glass transoms over them. Walking quietly along the floorboards, Luce realized she didn’t know which office was Francesca’s. Only one of the doors was ajar, the third one from the right, with light emanating from the pretty stained-glass scene in the transom. She thought she heard a male voice inside. She was poised to knock when a woman’s sharp tone made her freeze.

“It was a mistake to even try,” Francesca practically hissed.

“We took a chance. We got unlucky.”

Steven.

“Unlucky?” Francesca scoffed. “You mean reckless. From a purely statistical standpoint, the odds of an Announcer bearing bad news were far too great. You saw what it did to those kids. They weren’t ready.”

A pause. Luce inched a little closer along the Persian rug in the hall.

“But she was.”

“I won’t sacrifice all the progress an entire class has made just because some, some—”

“Don’t be shortsighted, Francesca. We came up with a beautiful curriculum. I know that as well as you. Our students outperform every other Nephilim program in the world. You did all that. You have a right to feel a sense of pride. But things are different now.”

“Steven’s right, Francesca.” A third voice. Male. Luce thought it sounded familiar. But who was it? “Might as well throw your academic calendar out the window. The truce between our sides is the only timeline that matters anymore.”

Francesca sighed. “You really think—”

The unknown voice said, “If I know Daniel, he’ll be right on time. He’s probably counting down the minutes already.”

“There’s something else,” Steven said.

A pause, then what sounded like a drawer sliding open, then a gasp. Luce would have killed to be on the other side of the wall, to see what they could see.

“Where did you get that?” the other male voice asked. “Are you trading?”

“Of course he’s not!” Francesca sounded stung. “Steven found it in the forest during one of his rounds the other night.”

“It’s authentic, isn’t it?” Steven asked.

A sigh. “Been too long for me to say,” the stranger hedged. “I haven’t seen a starshot in ages. Daniel will know. I’ll take it to him.”

“That’s all? What do you suggest we do in the meantime?” Francesca asked.

“Look, this isn’t my thing.” The familiarity of that male voice was like an itch at the back of Luce’s brain. “And it’s really not my style—”

“Please,” Francesca pleaded.

The office was silent. Luce’s heart was pounding.

“Okay. If I were you? Step things up around here. Tighten their supervision and do everything you can to get all of them ready. End Times aren’t supposed to be very pretty.”

End Times. That was what Arriane had said would happen if Cam and his army won that night at Sword & Cross. But they hadn’t won. Unless there’d already been another battle. But then, what would the Nephilim need to get ready for?

The sound of heavy chair legs scraping along the floor made Luce jump back. She knew she should not be caught eavesdropping on this conversation. Whatever it was about.

For once, she was glad of the endless supply of mysterious alcoves in the Shoreline architecture. She ducked under a decorative wood-shingled cornice between two bookshelves and pressed herself into the recess of the wall.

A single set of footsteps exited the office, and the door closed firmly. Luce held her breath and waited for the figure to descend the stairs.

At first, she could see only his feet. Brown European leather boots. Then a pair of dark-wash jeans came into view as he curved around the banister toward the second story of the lodge. A blue-and-white-striped button-down shirt. And finally, the distinctly recognizable mane of black-and-gold dreadlocks.

Roland Sparks had turned up at Shoreline.

Luce jumped out from her hidden perch. She might still be on nervous best behavior in front of Francesca and Steven, who were dauntingly gorgeous and powerful and mature … and her teachers. But Roland didn’t intimidate her—not much, anyway—not anymore. Besides, he was the closest to Daniel she had been in days.

She slunk down the interior steps as silently as she could, then burst through the lodge door to the deck. Roland was moseying toward the ocean like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Roland!” she shouted, thundering down the last flight of stairs to the ground and breaking into a jog. He stood where the path ended and the bluff dropped down to steep and craggy rocks.

He was standing so still, looking out at the water. Luce was surprised to feel butterflies in her stomach when, very slowly, he began to turn around.

“Well, well.” He smiled. “Lucinda Price discovers peroxide.”

“Oh.” She clutched at her hair. How stupid she must look to him.

“No, no,” he said, stepping toward her, fluffing her hair with his fingers. “It suits you. A hard edge for hard times.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Enrolling.” He shrugged. “I just picked up my class schedule, met the teachers. Seems like a pretty sweet place.”

A woven knapsack was slung over one of his shoulders with something long and narrow and silver sticking out of it. Following her eyes, Roland switched the bag to his other shoulder and tightened the top flap with a knot.

“Roland.” Her voice quaked. “You left Sword and Cross? Why? What are you doing here?”

“Just needed a change of pace,” he offered cryptically.

Luce was going to ask about the others—Arriane and Gabbe. Even Molly. Whether anyone had noticed or cared that she’d left. But when she opened her mouth, what came out was very different from what she had expected. “What were you talking about in there with Francesca and Steven?”

Roland’s face changed suddenly, hardened into something older, less carefree. “That depends. How much did you hear?”

“Daniel. I heard you say that he … You don’t have to lie to me, Roland. How much longer until he comes back? Because I don’t think I can—”

“Come take a walk with me, Luce.”

As awkward as it would have felt for Roland Sparks to put his arm around her shoulders back at Sword & Cross, that was how comforting it was when he did it that day at Shoreline. They were never really friends, but he was a reminder of her past—a bond she couldn’t help turning to now.

They walked along the bluff’s edge, around the breakfast terrace, and along the west side of the dorms, past a rose garden Luce had never seen before. It was dusk and the water to their right was alive with colors, reflecting the rose and orange and violet clouds gliding in front of the sun.

Roland led her to a bench facing the water, far away from all the campus buildings. Looking down, she could see a rugged set of stairs carved into the rock, starting just below where they were sitting, and leading all the way down to the beach.

“What do you know that you aren’t saying?” Luce asked when the silence began to get to her.

“That water is fifty-one degrees,” Roland said.

“Not what I meant,” she said, looking him right in the eyes. “Did he send you here to watch over me?”

Roland scratched his head. “Look. Daniel’s off doing his thing.” He made a flitting motion at the sky. “In the meantime”—and she thought he cocked his head toward the forest behind the dorm—“you got your own thing to take care of.”

“What? No, I don’t have a thing. I’m just here because—”

“Bullshit.” He laughed. “We all have our secrets, Luce. Mine brought me to Shoreline. Yours has been leading you out to those woods.”

She started to protest, but Roland waved her off, that ever-cryptic look in his eyes.

“I’m not going to get you in trouble. In fact, I’m rooting for you.” His eyes moved past her, out to sea. “Now, back to that water. It’s frigid. Have you been in it? I know you like to swim.”

It struck Luce that she’d been at Shoreline for three days, with the ocean always visible, the waves always audible, the salt air always coating everything, but she still hadn’t set foot on the beach. And it wasn’t like at Sword & Cross, where a laundry list of things were off-limits. She didn’t know why it hadn’t even occurred to her.

She shook her head.

“About all you can do with a beach that cold is build a bonfire.” Roland glanced at her. “You made any friends here yet?”

Luce shrugged. “A few.”

“Bring them by tonight, after dark.” He pointed to a narrow peninsula of sand at the foot of the rocky stairs. “Right down there.”

She peered at Roland sideways. “What exactly do you have in mind?”

Roland grinned devilishly. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it innocent. But you know how it is. I’m new in town; I’d like to make my presence known.”

“Dude. Stomp down on my heel one more time, and I’m seriously going to have to break your ankle.”

“Maybe if you weren’t hogging the entire beam of the flashlight up there, Shel, the rest of us could see where we were going.”

Luce tried to stifle her laugh as she followed a bickering Miles and Shelby across campus in the dark. It was almost eleven, and Shoreline was pitch-black and silent, except for the hoot of an owl. An orange gibbous moon was low in the sky, cloaked by a veil of fog. Between the three of them, they’d only been able to come up with one flashlight (Shelby’s), so only one of them (Shelby) had a clear view of the path down to the water. For the other two, the grounds—which had seemed so lush and well tended in the daylight—were now booby-trapped with fallen bristlecones, thick-rooted ferns, and the backs of Shelby’s feet.

When Roland had asked her to bring some friends tonight, Luce had gotten a sinking feeling in her stomach. There were no hall monitors at Shoreline, no terrifying security cameras recording the students’ every move, so it wasn’t the threat of getting caught that made her nervous. In fact, sneaking out of the dorm had been relatively easy. It was drawing a crowd that was a bigger challenge.

Dawn and Jasmine seemed like the most likely candidates for a party on the beach, but when Luce went by their fifth-floor room, the hallway was dark and no one answered her knock. Back in her own room, Shelby had been tangled up in some sort of tantric yoga pose that hurt Luce just to look at. Luce hadn’t wanted to break her roommate’s fierce concentration by inviting her to some unknown party—but then a loud knock at their door had made Shelby fall crossly from her pose anyway.

Miles, asking Luce if she wanted to get some ice cream.

Luce looked back and forth between Miles and Shelby and smiled. “I’ve got a better idea.”

Ten minutes later, bundled up in hooded sweatshirts, a backward Dodgers cap (Miles), and wool socks with individual toe shapes sewn in so she could still wear her flip-flops (Shelby), and with a nervous feeling in the gut about mingling Roland with the Shoreline crew (Luce), the three of them tramped toward the bluff’s edge.

“So who is this guy again?” Miles asked, pointing out a dip in the rocky path just before Luce would have gone flying.

“He’s just … a guy from my last school.” Luce searched for a better description as the three of them started down the rocky stairs. Roland wasn’t exactly her friend. And even though kids at Shoreline seemed pretty open-minded, she wasn’t sure she should tell them which side of the fallen angel divide Roland fell on. “He was friends with Daniel,” she said finally. “It’ll probably be a pretty small party. I don’t think he knows anyone here but me.”

They could smell it before they could see it: the telltale hickory smoke of a good-sized bonfire. Then, when they were almost at the foot of the steep stairs, they wound around a bend in the rocks and froze as the sparks from a wild orange blaze finally came into view.

There must have been a hundred people gathered on the beach.

The wind was wild, like an untamed animal, but it was no match for the rowdiness of the partygoers. At one end of the gathering, closest to where Luce stood, a crowd of hippie guys with long, thick beards and ratty woven shirts had formed a makeshift drum circle. Their steady beat provided a nearby group of kids with a constantly changing groove to dance to. At the other end of the party was the bonfire itself, and when Luce stood on her toes, she recognized a lot of Shoreline kids crowded around the fire, hoping to beat out the cold. Everyone was holding a stick in the flames, jockeying for the best spot to roast their hot dogs and marshmallows, their cast-iron kettles full of beans. It was impossible to guess how they’d all found out about it, but it was clear that everyone was having a good time.

And in the middle of it all, Roland. He’d changed out of his pressed button-down shirt and expensive leather boots and was dressed, like everyone else there, in a hooded sweatshirt and shredded jeans. He was standing on a boulder, making riotous, exaggerated gestures, telling a story Luce couldn’t quite hear. Dawn and Jasmine were among the captivated listeners; their fire-lit faces looked pretty and alive.

“This is your idea of a small party?” Miles asked.

Luce was watching Roland, wondering what story he was telling. Something about the way he was taking charge made Luce think back to Cam’s room, to the first and only real party she’d ever gone to at Sword & Cross, and it made her miss Arriane. And, of course, Penn, who’d been nervous when she first arrived at the party but ended up having a better time than anyone. And Daniel, who would barely speak to Luce back then. Things were so different now.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys,” Shelby said, kicking off her flip-flops and padding onto the sand in her socks, “but I’m going to get myself a drink, then a hot dog, then maybe a lesson from one of those drum circle guys.”

“Me too,” Miles said. “Except for the drum circle part, in case that wasn’t obvious.”

“Luce.” Roland waved from his position on the boulder. “You made it.”

Miles and Shelby were already way ahead of her, heading toward the hot dog station, so Luce trekked over a dune of cool, damp sand toward Roland and the others.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you wanted to make your presence known. This is really something, Roland.”

Roland nodded graciously. “Something, huh? Something good, or something bad?”

It seemed like a loaded question, and what Luce wanted to say was that she couldn’t tell anymore. She thought about the heated conversation she’d overheard in the teacher’s office. How sharp Francesca’s voice had sounded. The line between what was good and what was bad felt incredibly blurry. Roland and Steven were fallen angels who’d gone over. Demons, right? Did she even know what that meant? But then there was Cam, and … what did Roland mean by that question? She squinted at him. Maybe he was really only asking whether Luce was having fun?

A myriad of colorful partygoers swirled around her, but Luce could feel the endless black waves nearby. The air near the water was whipping and cold, but the bonfire was hot on her skin. So many things seemed to be at odds right now, all shoving up against her at once.

“Who are all these people, Roland?”

“Let’s see.” Roland pointed at the hippie kids in the drum circle. “Townies.” To their right, he gestured at a big group of guys trying to impress a much smaller group of girls with a few very bad thrusting dance moves. “Those guys are marines stationed in Fort Bragg. From the way they’re partying, I hope they’re on leave for the weekend.” When Jasmine and Dawn sidled up next to him, Roland put one arm around each of their shoulders. “These two, I believe you know.”

“You didn’t tell us you were such big friends with the celestial social director, Luce,” Jasmine said.

“Seriously.” Dawn leaned in to whisper loudly to Luce, “Only my diary knows how many times I’ve wished to go to a Roland Sparks party. And my diary will never tell.”

“Oh, but I might,” Roland joked.

“Is there no relish at this party?” Shelby popped up behind Luce with Miles at her side. She was holding two hot dogs in one hand and stuck out her free one to Roland. “Shelby Sterris. Who are you?”

“Shelby Sterris,” Roland repeated. “I’m Roland Sparks. You ever live in East L.A.? Have we met before?”

“No.”

“She has a photographic memory,” Miles supplied, slipping Luce a veggie hot dog, which was not her favorite, but a nice gesture nonetheless. “I’m Miles. Cool party, by the way.”

“Very cool,” Dawn agreed, swaying with Roland to the drumbeat.

“What about Steven and Francesca?” Luce had to practically shout to Shelby. “Won’t they hear us down here?” It was one thing to sneak out under the radar. It was another to plant a sonic boom directly on that radar.

Jasmine glanced back toward the campus. “They’ll hear us, sure, but our leash is pretty long at Shoreline. At least for the Nephilim kids. As long as we stay on campus, under their umbrella of surveillance, we can pretty much do as we please.”

“Does that include a limbo contest?” Roland grinned impishly, producing a long, thick branch from behind him. “Miles, you going to hold the other end for me?”

Seconds later, the branch was raised, the drumbeat changed, and it seemed like the whole party had dropped what they were doing to form one long, animated limbo line.

“Luce,” Miles called to her. “You’re not just going to stand there, are you?”

She studied the crowd, feeling stiff and rooted to her spot in the sand. But Dawn and Jasmine were making an opening for her to squeeze into line between the two of them. Already in competition mode—probably born in competition mode—Shelby was stretching out her back. Even the buttoned-up marine guys were going to play.

“Fine.” Luce laughed and got in line.

Once the game began, the line moved quickly; for three rounds, Luce shimmied easily under the branch. The fourth time, she made it under with only a little trouble, having to tilt her chin back far enough to see the stars, and got a round of cheers for doing so. Soon she was cheering on the other kids too, only a little surprised to find herself jumping up and down when Shelby made it through. There was something amazing about arching out of the limbo stance after a successful turn—the whole party seemed to feed off it. Each time, it gave Luce a surprising rush of adrenaline.

Having fun wasn’t usually such a simple thing. For so long, laughter had usually been closely followed by guilt, some nagging feeling that she wasn’t supposed to be enjoying herself for one reason or another. But somehow tonight she felt lighter. Without even realizing it, she’d been able to shrug off the darkness.

By the time Luce looped around for her fifth turn, the line was significantly shorter. Half the kids at the party had already gotten out, and everyone was crowded around either Miles or Roland, watching the last kids standing. At the back of the line, Luce was giddy and a little light-headed, so the hard grip she felt on her arm almost made her lose her balance.

She started to scream, then felt fingers clamp over her mouth.

“Shhh.”

Daniel was tugging her out of line and away from the party. His strong, warm hand sliding down her neck, his lips brushing the side of her cheek. For just a moment, the touch of his skin on hers, coupled with the bright violet glow of his eyes, and her days-old rising need to grab hold of him and never let go—it all made Luce divinely dizzy.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered. She meant to say Thank God you’re here or It’s been so hard to be apart or what she really meant, I love you. But there were also You abandoned me and I thought it wasn’t safe and What’s this about a truce? all knocking around in her brain.

“I had to see you,” he said. As he led her behind a large volcanic rock on the beach, there was a conspiratorial smile on his face. The kind of smile that was contagious, finding its way onto Luce’s lips too. The kind of smile that acknowledged not just that they were breaking Daniel’s rule—but that they were enjoying doing it.

“When I got close enough to see this party, I noticed everyone dancing,” he said. “And I got a little jealous.”

“Jealous?” Luce asked. They were alone now. She threw her arms around his broad shoulders and looked deep into his violet eyes. “Why would you be jealous?”

“Because,” he said, rubbing his hands across her back. “Your dance card is full. For all eternity.”

Daniel held her right hand in his, wrapped her left around his shoulder, and started a slow two-step in the sand. They could still hear the music from the party, but from this side of the rock it felt like a private concert. Luce closed her eyes and melted against his chest, finding the place where her head fit into his shoulder like a puzzle piece.

“No, this isn’t quite right,” Daniel said after a moment. He pointed down at her feet. She noticed he was barefoot. “Take off your shoes,” he said, “and I’ll show you how angels dance.”

Luce slipped off her black flats and tossed them aside on the beach. The sand between her toes was soft and cool. When Daniel pulled her close, her toes overlapped with his and she almost lost her balance, but his arms held her steady. When she looked down, her feet were on top of his. And when she looked up: the sight she yearned for night and day. Daniel unfurling his silver-white wings.

They filled her plane of vision, stretching twenty feet into the sky. Broad and beautiful, glowing in the night, they must have been the most glorious wings in all of Heaven. Underneath her own feet, Luce felt Daniel’s lift just barely off the ground. His wings beat lightly, almost like a heartbeat, holding both of them inches above the beach.

“Ready?” he asked.

Ready for what, she didn’t know. It didn’t matter.

Now they were moving backward in the air, as smoothly as figure skaters moved on ice. Daniel glided out over the water, holding her in his arms. Luce gasped as the first frothy wave skimmed their toes. Daniel laughed and lifted them a little higher in the sky. He dipped her backward. He spun them both around in circles. They were dancing. On the ocean.

The moon was like a spotlight, shining down on only them. Luce was laughing from sheer joy, laughing so much that Daniel started laughing too. She’d never felt lighter.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

His answer was a kiss. He kissed her softly at first. On her forehead, then on her nose, then finally found his way to her lips.

She kissed him back deeply and hungrily and a bit desperately, throwing her whole body into it. This was how she came home to Daniel, how she touched that easy love they’d shared for so long. For a moment, the whole world went quiet; then Luce came up gasping for air. She hadn’t even noticed they were back on the beach.

His hand cupped the back of her head, the ski cap she had tugged down over her ears. The cap concealing her bleached-blond hair. He pulled it off and a blast of ocean breeze hit her head. “What did you do to your hair?”

His voice was soft, but somehow it sounded like an accusation. Maybe it was because the song had ended, and the dance and the kiss had too, and now they were just two people standing on a beach. Daniel’s wings were arched back behind his shoulders, still visible but out of reach.

“Who cares about my hair?” All she cared about was holding him. Wasn’t that all he should care about too?

Luce reached to take back the ski cap. Her bare blond head felt too exposed, like a glowing red flag warning Daniel that she might be falling apart. As soon as she started to turn away, Daniel put his arms around her.

“Hey,” he said, pulling her close again. “I’m sorry.”

She exhaled, drew into him, and let his touch wash over her. She tipped her head up to meet his eyes.

“Is it safe now?” she asked, wanting Daniel to be the one to bring up the truce. Could they finally be together? But the worn look in his eyes gave her the answer before he opened his mouth.

“I shouldn’t be here, but I worry about you.” He held her at arm’s length. “And from the looks of things, I’m right to worry.” He fingered a lock of her hair. “I don’t understand why you did this, Luce. It isn’t you.”

She pushed him away. It had always bothered her when people said that. “Well, I’m the one who dyed it, Daniel. So, technically, it is me. Maybe not the ‘me’ you want me to be—”

“That’s not fair. I don’t want you to be anyone other than who you are.”

“Which is who, Daniel? Because if you know the answer to that, feel free to clue me in.” Her voice grew louder as frustration overtook the passion slipping through her fingers. “I’m on my own here, trying to figure out why. Trying to figure out what I’m doing here with all these … when I’m not even …”

“When you’re not what?”

How had they gone so quickly from dancing on air to this?

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to take it day by day. Make friends, you know? Yesterday I joined a club, and we’re planning a yacht trip somewhere. Things like that.” What she really wanted to tell him about were the shadows. And especially what she’d done in the woods. But Daniel had narrowed his eyes like she’d already done something wrong.

“You’re not going on a yacht trip anywhere.”

“What?”

“You’ll stay right here on this campus until I say so.” He exhaled, sensing her rising anger. “I hate giving you these rules, Luce, but … I’m doing so much to keep you safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Literally.” Luce gritted her teeth. “Good or bad or otherwise. Seems like when you’re not around you don’t want me doing anything at all.”

“That’s not true.” He shook a finger at her. She’d never seen him lose his temper so quickly. Then he looked up at the sky, and Luce followed his gaze. A shadow zipped over their heads—like an all-black firework leaving a deadly, smoky tail. Daniel seemed to be able to read it instantly.

“I have to go,” he said.

“How shocking.” She turned away. “Turn up out of nowhere, pick a fight, then duck out. This must be real, true love.”

He grabbed her shoulders and shook them until she met his eyes. “It is true love,” he said, with such desperation that Luce couldn’t tell whether it chipped away at or added to the pain in her heart. “You know it is.” His eyes burned violet—not with anger but with intense desire. The kind of look that made you love a person so much, you missed him even when he was standing right in front of you.

Daniel ducked his head to kiss her cheek, but she was too close to tears. Embarrassed, she turned away. She heard his sigh, and then: the beat of wings.

No.

When she whipped her head around, Daniel was soaring across the sky, halfway between the ocean and the moon. His wings were lit bright white under a moonbeam. A moment later, it was hard to tell him apart from any of the stars in the sky.