Troublemaker

CHAPTER 15

THE CALL CAME IN LATE IN THE AFTERNOON, RIGHT before time to go home. Listening to it over the radio, and to Loretta’s responses, Bo muttered, “Shit,” and dropped her head into her hands. They’d been so close to making it through the day without any drama.

It was Jesse’s day off; Officer Patrick Jones was in the station. He said, “I’m on it, Chief,” and was out the door. That was the fastest she’d seen him move in the entire time she’d known him.

Loretta said wistfully, “Man, I’d like to see this.”

Bo wasn’t of the same opinion. She’d been this close to going home. She could feel a headache coming on, precipitated by the drama and long hours she knew were coming at her. “I was hoping everything would go smoothly and the whole town could move on.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a Hobson. We live for shit like this.” Loretta paused. “Want me to call Jesse in? Not that Patrick can’t handle it, but Jesse has a way of settling people down.” That was because Jesse had perfected the cop’s “don’t mess with me” stare.

“He’ll be on a date with Kalie,” Bo replied, but they both knew Jesse would be monitoring his radio anyway, and he was probably already on his way with Kalie beside him. No one would want to be left behind in tomorrow morning’s gossip, not even Jesse.

For herself, she’d like to pack it in and go home, but that option was off the table now.

She got her cell phone and called home. Morgan picked up on the third ring.

“Anything wrong?” he said by way of greeting, getting straight to the heart of the matter.

“The divorce proceedings didn’t go well. I’ll probably be several hours late. Go ahead and eat whatever you feel like eating, and feed Tricks. I’ll grab something here when I have time. How’s Tricks?”

“She’s fine. She nearly killed me, but she’s fine.”

“Okay, good,” she said absently, and hung up. After a few seconds she realized what she’d said and started to call him back but gave herself a little shake and forgot about it. With Tricks, it could be anything. She’d find out later.

Within twenty minutes, the police station was a mob scene. She’d expected to see Emily and Kyle brought in, or at least Kyle, but that wasn’t the case. Patrick arrived first, with Melody Gooding handcuffed in the backseat of his cruiser. She was yelling and cussing at Patrick, kicking the seat, and generally raising hell. Then Jesse rolled up, as predicted, and of all people he had Miss Doris in his cruiser-handcuffed in the back, while Kalie Vaughan sat in the front passenger seat wide-eyed and shocked.

Miss Doris was spitting fire, yelling at Melody as soon as the officers had gotten the two women out of the cruisers. “I’ll kick your sorry ass all over this town!” Miss Doris bellowed. Her normally sweet round face was fiery red and not looking sweet at all, while her mild blue eyes were sparking fire.

Oh, holy shit.

Other people began showing up, crowding into the small police station: Emily and her mother; Mayor Buddy; a few members of the town council; the two lawyers who had been representing the divorcing parties; a couple of the volunteer firemen and a paramedic; Miss Virginia Rose, who must have been in the courtroom sightseeing; Sam Higgins, the school-bus driver; then Mr. Gooding and Kyle came in, with Kyle looking furious and sullen.

Kyle gave Bo a menacing look but then remembered where he was and quickly looked away. No, she thought, he did not want to start mouthing off in here and demanding she release his sister. He’d barely escaped being charged the last time, and that had led to his being forced to sign the divorce papers as Emily wanted them.

Last but not least, Daina arrived with her for-now boyfriend, Kenny Michaels. What on earth were they doing here?

The noise of all the raised voices was deafening, with everyone shouting and no one able to hear what anyone was saying. At least half these people had no business being here, Bo thought, though the paramedic might come in handy.

Daina slipped over to her and said, “I thought I’d come get Tricks, get her out of the way so you don’t have that worry.”

“Oh-thanks,” Bo said in relief. “But I kind of had a feeling this might happen, so I left her at home with Morgan.”

“You’re good, then?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Daina smothered a laugh. “We’ll get out of the way. Call me when it’s over. I want the scoop.” Then she and Kenny left, with Kenny giving a small wave as they went out the door.

There were still far too many people.

Bo climbed up on her desk, clapped her hands, and yelled, “Hey!” She didn’t like confrontation, but, damn it, she was the chief, and this situation couldn’t be sorted out with this many people in the way.

Silence fell, even between Melody and Miss Doris, who had continued cussing at each other the whole time. Bo was kind of stunned Miss Doris knew those words. Everyone in the crowded station turned to look at her.

“I want everybody out,” she said. “Even you, Mayor Buddy. Everybody except my two officers, Miss Doris, Melody, Loretta, and me. If you aren’t one of the six people named-out.”

“Now see here-” Mr. Gooding began hotly.

“No, I won’t see here. We can’t get this mess straightened out with everyone in here yelling at each other. Emily, Kyle, take your lawyers with you. If they’re needed after we talk to Miss Doris and Melody, they can come back. Out. I mean it. Anyone who is still here in sixty seconds will be arrested.”

Mayor Buddy beamed at her in pride and said, “I guess I know better than to go against you when you’re riled,” as he headed out the door. He paused just long enough to give her a wink. He was followed posthaste by Sam Higgins, the firemen, and the medic. It took an additional glare from her and threatening looks from both Jesse and Patrick to get everyone else out. Miss Virginia Rose wore a stubborn expression, as if she wanted to be a holdout, until Loretta stood up and cleared her throat. “All right, all right,” Miss Virginia grumped as she went out the door.

As soon as the door closed and silence fell, Loretta humphed. “For a minute, I thought she would deliberately get herself arrested so she could see what all goes on.”

Bo jumped down from her desk and shook her head as she stared at the two miscreants. “I can’t believe this,” she muttered.

“It’s this old bitch’s fault,” Melody said, sneering at Miss Doris.

Miss Doris erupted again, her soft round body bristling with outrage. “I’d slap that stupid look off your face if it didn’t go so deep bleach and sandpaper wouldn’t take it off!”

Jesse turned his head into his shoulder and managed to turn a laugh into a cough.

“Okay, let’s get their statements. Jesse, Patrick, take them into separate rooms so they can’t hear each other, and, ladies”-when she paused, both Miss Doris and Melody looked at her-“remember, there are a lot of witnesses to what happened, and we’ll be talking to them all. What you tell us should be pretty damn close to what they tell us, because you don’t want to add making false statements to the list of possible charges.” If everything went the way she hoped, they wouldn’t need to talk to anyone else, but these two didn’t have to know that.

Miss Doris looked horrified at the idea that she might be charged with a crime, while Melody just looked contemptuous. Given that her father had been bailing her out of scrapes all her life, she likely didn’t expect this time to be any different. Nevertheless, both she and Miss Doris were obligingly silent as Jesse and Patrick took them to the tiny but separate interview rooms, which were side by side and had only drywall dividing them, which necessitated each officer turning on the noisy box fans in each room that had been bought to prevent eavesdropping. The solution was low tech, but it worked.

The statements didn’t take long. Patrick came out first, leaving Melody in the interview room. Bo and Loretta both looked expectantly at him, and he cleared his throat. “The gist of it is, the court proceedings were over, had gone off without a hitch though Kyle didn’t look too happy about any of it. On the way out, Emily and her mother and Miss Doris passed by a bunch of the Goodings, and Melody said, quote, ‘I’ll be glad when this is over and my brother can get a real wife instead of a whore’ unquote.”

As badmouthing went, that was typical of what was said in a lot of divorces, and not even original. Bo could think of a couple of her mother’s divorces that made Melody’s trash talk sound like the stuff of Sunday school classes.

“Emily and her mother didn’t pay any attention,” Patrick continued, “but Miss Doris blew a gasket. She got right up in Melody’s face and started yelling, ‘You keep your filthy mouth shut about my granddaughter or I’ll stuff my fist down your throat,’ again, quote and unquote.”

“Ouch.” Bo winced. Miss Doris was definitely guilty of assault-a misdemeanor, but still.

“Melody admitted to then saying, ‘I’ll wipe the floor with you, old lady. You won’t be so full of yourself when your house burns down.’ Which evens out the assault charges if we’re keeping score.”

Loretta grunted. “Huh.” She looked displeased that someone besides a Hobson was using house-burning as a threat.

Bo felt somewhat relieved. Things were looking up. With both of the women having committed the same misdemeanor, that gave her a place to start negotiating. If only one party was guilty, the other would undoubtedly press charges, which would keep this mess going likely for the rest of their natural lives-and beyond, because West Virginia didn’t breed people who easily forgot slights.

The trick was getting them both to not press charges because right now they were still fighting mad. There would be lingering resentment, of course, but at least there wouldn’t be rap sheets.

Jesse came out, and they all compared the two statements. At least Melody and Miss Doris had been truthful; they were almost word for word what each woman had said to the other.

“What do we do now?” Jesse asked, taking a peek out the front to where Kalie still waited patiently in his patrol car. At least she’d had the sense not to come inside and add to the crowd. Bo thought about reminding Jesse that he wasn’t supposed to have unauthorized ride-alongs in his patrol car, but they had more important fish to fry. Besides, she wouldn’t be telling Jesse something he didn’t already know, and she wasn’t going to carp about rule-bending when he’d bent a big one regarding Morgan.

Maybe she wasn’t any good at being a police chief because she seemed to have problems sticking to the rules. Well, that was a thought for another time because right now she had to deal with this.

“Why don’t you take Kalie home, and we’ll let those two sit and think for a while,” she suggested. “Half an hour, an hour-they need the time to cool down.”

There was a general nodding of heads; cooling down could only be good. Jesse took Kalie home; Patrick took his supper break. Loretta decided there wouldn’t be any more excitement and went home to cook supper for Charlie and bring him up to date. Bo sat at her desk and began catching up on the day’s paperwork. There wasn’t a peep from either of the two interview rooms.

The phone rang once. She prayed it wasn’t a call that the remaining family members on both sides were in a brawl. The caller was indeed a Gooding, but she lucked out on the purpose of the call. “I need to know what’s going on,” Mr. Gooding barked. “Do I need to send our lawyer in?”

“I’m trying to talk both of them into not pressing charges so everyone can walk away clean,” Bo said calmly. “Just be patient.”

“Oh.” He sounded surprised by her position. He paused. “Thank you, Chief. If it’ll help, tell Melody I said to go along with your suggestion.”

“I will. Thanks for checking, Mr. Gooding.” If he could be polite, so could she.

Then she waited some more. Finally she got up and went into the interview room where Melody sat, probably bored to death because there was no TV, no magazines, nothing to look at other than her manicure.

The pretty young woman had a sullen expression, but beneath it all she was also beginning to look tired. Burning that much adrenaline took a lot out of a person. Bo pulled out the only other chair in the room and sat down. She waited until Melody looked up at her before saying, “Here’s the deal. Miss Doris won’t press charges if you don’t. You can both act pissy if you think it’ll get you anywhere, but I can tell you up front that all it’ll get you is a rap sheet. Your dad called a while ago and said to tell you to take the deal.”

Melody opened her mouth, likely to say something smart, but then she closed it again and considered her options. “Okay,” she finally said, no arguing, no threats.

Well, hallelujah. Relieved that it was so easy, Bo said, “Where’s your car?”

“At city hall.”

“You want to walk? I can have one of the officers drive you if you don’t.”

“I’ll walk.”

As Bo was showing Melody out, Jesse arrived back at the station from taking Kalie home. He stayed silent until Melody was gone. “Everything work out?”

“Halfway there. I still have Miss Doris in the other room, but Melody’s agreed not to press charges.”

He sat down. “I’ll wait and take Miss Doris home. I know she didn’t drive because Kalie said that Emily picked her up.”

How on earth had Kalie known Emily was picking up her grandmother? Even though Bo had lived here seven years, small-town ways still sometimes baffled her. Everyone knew everyone else’s business. Was the information passed on by some weird osmosis?

“Kalie and Emily are Facebook friends,” Jesse explained with a grin, having noted her expression. “Emily posted about it.”

Social media to the rescue; at least that made sense. She didn’t do Facebook herself, figuring her life was no one else’s business. It wasn’t as if she had a ton of relatives who kept track of her or were interested in what she was doing.

Finally she went in to Miss Doris. She’d chosen Melody first because she’d judged Melody the most likely to press charges, in which case there would be no deal-making with Miss Doris. Again, she pulled up a chair and sat down. Miss Doris looked both guilty and angry, which meant she could tip either way.

Bo said essentially the same thing she’d said to Melody. “Melody has agreed not to press charges if you don’t.”

Miss Doris’s mouth opened in astonishment, closed, then opened again. “She did?” she squeaked.

Bo shrugged. “She’s guilty of the same thing. It makes sense for both of you to drop it and walk away.”

“Well, my goodness.” Miss Doris paused for maybe half a second. “All right. If she’s dropping it, so will I.”

“Good deal. Jesse said he’ll take you home.”

“That’s sweet of him. I imagine it’s dark by now.”

“Yes, it is, but we wouldn’t let you walk home anyway.”

And that was that. Jesse and Miss Doris went out the back door to his cruiser just as Morgan and Tricks came in, meeting them on the way. They stood in the door for a minute or so, saying hello and exchanging small talk, then the first two were gone and the second two came on into the station. Tricks went immediately to Bo, smiling her doggy smile and putting her paw on Bo’s knee.

“I missed you too,” Bo crooned, doing some two-handed ear-rubbing as she bent down and rested her forehead on top of Tricks’s head. She looked up at Morgan. “Why are you two here?”

“I figured you’d had time to get everything sorted out, short of there being actual blood involved, and thought you might be hungry. We can get a hamburger at the drive-through if you want.”

A nice hot hamburger that she hadn’t cooked herself sounded great. “Let’s go,” she said, getting to her feet. She locked the station doors and they all got into the big Tahoe. The hamburger joint was just a couple of blocks away, so there wasn’t much time for her to tell him anything other than her food order, which was a small hamburger, small fries, and a bottle of water. Morgan’s choice was the deluxe cheeseburger, which was twice the size of her hamburger, large fries, and also a bottle of water. They took their food booty back to the station and arranged it on her desk, then Morgan dragged the chair over to their makeshift table and sat down across from her.

“Your truck driver friend called,” he said as he salted his fries and opened packets of ketchup to squeeze over them. “He went through Alabama and stopped to pick you up some Naked Pig; he figured you wanted some, so he didn’t bother checking. He brought it over, and I paid him.”

“Thanks.”

“I also told him to double the next order. If I’m drinking it too, we’ll need more.”

She hid a smile. “You don’t want to get some Miller, or Bud?”

“I’m a convert. Give me the Naked Pig.” He paused and squinted at her. “That’s a sentence I never thought I’d be saying.”

They both chuckled, then he said, “Fill me in on the drama.”

She did, glad that everything had been calmed down so easily and without anyone getting hurt. He had a laugh about Miss Doris’s language; it was her turn to laugh when he described Tricks’s escapade with the treadmill. She almost choked on a swallow of water because she could just see him trying to avoid killing himself while Tricks was blissfully unaware of anything other than chasing her ball.

As she swabbed a fry in a dollop of ketchup, she said, “How long did you make it on the treadmill?”

“Are you kidding? I’m still alive, aren’t I? I stopped right then. There will be no treadmill while Tricks is anywhere around.” He winked at her and popped a fry into his mouth. “We went outside and walked the hill a couple of times instead.”

This must be her day to be winked at, Bo thought. First Mayor Buddy, now Morgan. Hearing her name, Tricks laid her head on Bo’s knee and gave her a sad look, letting her know how awful it was that she wasn’t getting to share their food. Bo said, “Forget about it, young lady,” whereupon she promptly abandoned Bo and laid her head on Morgan’s knee, subjecting him to the woebegone eyes.

“She’s sharper than a switchblade,” he commented before saying, “No,” in the same firm tone Bo had used. He’d started doing that, she thought; the same words, the same intonation.

Bo started to reply, but a strange noise from outside caught her attention. It sounded like… She didn’t know what it sounded like. A party? A ball game? She frowned, cocked her head to listen, but still couldn’t nail down the sound. Then, through the window, she saw what looked like a… herd? flock?… of fireflies coming toward the station. Large fireflies. She said, “What on earth is that?”

Morgan had turned at the sound too. He looked out the window and very matter-of-factly said, “A mob.”

A… mob? In Hamrickville?

Frowning, she got to her feet. He stood too and put his hand on her arm. All humor had fled his expression and he looked tough and capable. “If you think this is in the least dangerous, you stay here and I’ll handle it.”

He could, too. He was just one man, but he wasn’t a man even a mob should take lightly. She said, “I don’t think this mob will amount to much. I wonder what they want, what has them upset? Only one way to see, I guess.”

She cast a regretful look at the half-eaten hamburger and remaining fries; they’d be cold and not nearly as appetizing by the time she got back to them. He said, “Okay, but I’m right here at the door if you need me.”

She was tired and would rather be finishing up her hamburger, but facing this “mob” was her job. Opening the door, she stepped out on the sidewalk and squinted at the approaching crowd. The overhead street- lights cast weird shadows on their faces, and the light was so ghastly some of them looked like zombies, but there were only a few people she didn’t recognize.

“Crowd” was perhaps stretching it a bit. She estimated there were maybe thirty people there, crossing the street toward her-and jaywalking at that, not that anyone in Hamrickville paid any attention to silly rules regarding where they crossed the street. The lights were mostly cell phones, a modern-day nod to flaming torches, though a couple of smokers carried cigarette lighters. A lot of the mob members ran shops here in town, which meant they were friends with Miss Doris. She saw Harold Patterson, the barber; Miss Virginia Rose, who seemed determined to be in the thick of whatever scene was going on; Faye Wiggins, the florist. Even the librarian was here.

Each and every one of them wore a big white tee shirt pulled on over their regular clothing. Miss Doris’s sweet face had been printed on each shirt, with black jail bars stamped over her, and printed under her face in big letters was FREE DORIS.

Bo clamped her hand over her mouth and pinched hard so she wouldn’t laugh at them. This was so sweet. Really. Her heart gave a little bump, then swelled with emotion.

When she could control herself, she pulled out her cell phone and snapped a photo. The flash, and the realization of what she’d done, stopped them in their tracks. She hadn’t done it for evidence, but because she wanted to remember this moment forever. Then she leaned against the streetlight post and crossed her ankles.

“What’s up?” she asked casually.

Harold Patterson began sputtering. “What’s up? I’ll tell you what’s up! You’re holding Miss Doris in jail while you let that Gooding girl free to strut down the street like she owned it. That’s not right, it’s just not right. We’ve come to get Miss Doris out of jail.”

“We’ll sign any bail papers you got,” added Miss Virginia Rose. “Whatever it costs to get her out of jail.”

Oh, man, they didn’t know how a real mob was supposed to work, with violence instead of an offer to put up bail for Miss Doris. This was truly so sweet that Bo thought she could get a little teary-eyed if she didn’t control herself. She said, “First of all, I can’t decide bail for anyone, only a judge can do that.”

“Where’s Judge Harper?” someone from the back of the crowd shouted, and they began looking around as if they expected him to be marching with them, or maybe they were plotting a course to his house.

“There isn’t any bail,” she said, raising her voice.

Harold Patterson gasped. “You mean you’re holding her without bail?”

“No, I mean there’s no bail because there aren’t any charges. Miss Doris didn’t file charges against Melody, and Melody didn’t file charges against Miss Doris.”

“Then why is Miss Doris still in jail?”

“She isn’t. She’s at home.”

The barber turned red in the face. He was so upset he seemed incapable of seeing reason. He began shouting, “No, she isn’t! No one saw her leave the jail! You’ve still got her in there and-”

Miss Virginia Rose said crisply, “Don’t be a child, Harold.” She gave Bo a stern look. “Chief, be square with us. Is that truly what happened?”

It was all Bo could do to keep a big smile from breaking out. God, these people were great; she blessed the day she’d landed here. As seriously as possible she said, “It is indeed. Jesse took Miss Doris home about half an hour ago, maybe a little more. Emily had posted on Facebook that she was picking up Miss Doris for her court date, and Kalie is Facebook friends with Emily, so Jesse knew Miss Doris wouldn’t have her car.”

That convoluted explanation evidently made perfect sense to everyone because smiles broke out. She heard several “Thank yous,” and “Sorry to disturb you,” and a “See, I told you everything would be all right.” Then, mission accomplished, the firefly crowd moved back across the street and began dispersing to their own cars and residences.

Bo stood on the sidewalk for a minute or so, watching them, then went back inside the police station.

Tricks was sitting there with a big doggy smile on her face, as happy as ever. Morgan was crouched on the floor, his arms around Tricks. He was laughing, his shoulders shaking, as he fought to muffle the sound by burying his face against Tricks’s plush fur. Her heart gave another of those little bumps, and the hairs on her arms lifted in alarm. She didn’t want to feel anything for him other than concern over his situation; anything more personal was too dangerous.

Bo pushed emotion away and said, “You better not get snot on my dog.”

He lifted his red face from Tricks’s fur and managed to gasp, “Free Doris!” before succumbing again, collapsing on his ass on the floor and holding his stomach.

She liked his laugh, deep and rolling. “Wasn’t that great?” she asked, beaming. “All of it. And I got a picture.” Then she began laughing too because she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He rose lithely to his feet, snatched her into his arms, and whirled her around in a circle. She was astonished by the ease with which he lifted her, but she couldn’t stop laughing as she clutched at his shoulders. “Put me down! What if someone comes in?”

He snorted. “What if they do? After what I just saw? There’s no one in this town who would even blink an eye.” He smiled down at her, blue eyes still glinting with laughter.

She looked up, so close she could see the emerging beard on his strong jaw, the striations, both light and dark, in his eyes that made the blue so brilliant. The muscles in his shoulders bunched under her palms as he set her down.

“You have a good heart, Chief,” he said and kissed her forehead.

She could handle a forehead kiss, she thought; it was friendly without being sexual. Not that she wanted to be friends with him, but still-

Then he blew that out of the water by gripping her head with both hands, tilting her face up, and covering her mouth with his.