Under Mr. Nolan’s Bed

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“We’re here.” Erica reached into the back seat and poked me. I startled out of my doze, lifting my head off Mr. Nolan’s lap.

“You drove all the way?” Mr. Nolan leaned in toward the front seat.

“You guys fell asleep.” Erica shrugged.

I sat rubbing my eyes and blinking in spite of the darkness. I could see that my mother had left the porch light on.

“Do you want help with your stuff?” Mr. Nolan asked softly.

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

We got out of the car and went to the trunk. It was cooling off, the heat of the day completely gone now, but I didn’t want the memory of our weekend together to abate like the temperature. I think he felt the same because we stood there looking at each other until Erica pulled the lever from inside, making the trunk pop open and startling us both.

He reached for my bag with a sigh, and I grabbed his hand.

“I don’t want to go.” I met his eyes in the dimness.

He sighed again, glancing over to make sure the open trunk blocked the view of my house, and then pulled me in close. “I don’t want you to go,” he murmured against my cheek, kissing me when I tilted my face up to him.

“Don’t make me.” I hugged him and rested my head against his chest.

“It’s not up to me.” He stroked my hair.

“Well, who is it up to, then?” I frowned, meeting his eyes.

He shrugged. “I don’t have any answers, Leah.”

“I want to go home with you.” I swallowed hard. I couldn’t believe my own words, but there they were. “I’m eighteen now. I can make my own decisions.”

His thumb traced the line of my jaw, and he shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Why not?” My eyes searched his. “You said you loved me…”

“I do, Leah.” He touched my lips with his fingertips. “More than I should, more than I knew I could… I can’t stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting you, I can’t stop… I just can’t…”

“I know.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “I can’t either. So why do we keep trying to stop?”

“I don’t understand it.” He shook his head. “I wish I knew why, how… it’s like there’s something so right about it in the midst of everything that looks so wrong from the outside…”

“It’s not wrong!” I insisted. “Don’t you see? I’m old enough to choose what I want!” He didn’t smile or placate me, which I thought for sure he would. Instead, he leaned down and kissed me, his lips soft and full and warm, his arms wrapping me up tight.

“I can’t fight it anymore,” he whispered against my cheek, my neck. I could feel his arms trembling, and his voice was shaking.

“Is that a yes?” My heart took off, soaring in my chest. I cupped his face in my hands, searching his eyes for the truth, and found it. “Yes? Yes!”

“Yes.” He smiled as I planted kisses over his cheeks and chin and mouth and nose. “Okay, okay, enough!”

I laughed as he grabbed my bag, tossing it into the trunk and closing it again. The porch light was still on at my house, but there was no one waiting up, I could tell.

“I’ll call her tomorrow.” I took his hand.

“She won’t take it well.” He sighed. “I’ll talk to her, too, if you want.”

“I’m more worried about Erica,” I said, as he opened the car door.

“Worried about me?” she asked as I slid into the back seat. “How come?”

She took it better than I expected, asking, “So where will you sleep?”

“With me,” Mr. Nolan replied, making her scoot over so he could drive. We were all quiet on the short trip around the block, and I was thinking about his bed-our bed-the whole way, my body alive and tingling.

“So… if you get married…” Erica said as the engine cut off and began to tick as it cooled.

“Whoa!” Mr. Nolan held his hand up. “She’s moving in… no one said anything about marriage.”

“I’m just saying.” Erica glanced at me in the backseat. “You’d technically be my stepmom.”

I laughed. “You ready for that, Cinderella?”

“I’m not ready for that.” Mr. Nolan groaned, slapping his forehead. “Slow down, you two, alright?”

“Well, you do have to call Jerry Springer in advance you know.” Erica grinned. “It takes months for them to book you on a show.”

I snorted. “It’s not that bad. Is it?”

“After last night?” Erica raised an eyebrow at me and shrugged, grabbing the door handle.

I was glad that her dad was already getting our stuff out of the trunk and hadn’t heard her. I followed them both into the house. It had always felt like home to me, but there was a newness to it now that I knew it really was home.

“Should I call her tonight?” I asked as we headed upstairs to unpack. “So she won’t worry?”

Mr. Nolan opened the door to his room and I followed, glancing over my shoulder as Erica went into hers, waving to us and calling “Goodnight!” It felt so strange that I made him leave the door open.

“I’m afraid she’ll make a scene.” He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and kicking off his shoes.

“I’ll leave a message on her cell.” I picked up the phone next to his bed.

“She turns it off at night. It won’t ring.” He watched me as I dialed, and even though I turned around, I could still feel his eyes on me.

I edged toward the bathroom as the phone started to ring. “I’ll just get ready for bed…”

Shutting the door behind me, I sat on the edge of the tub, hearing my mother’s voice, “Hi, this is Patty, I can’t come to the phone right now…”

My intention was just to say that we got in too late and I decided to stay the night, but that isn’t how it happened. Just hearing her voice, remembering how angry she was at the restaurant when she saw us together, made something wrench a notch too tight inside of me. When the “BEEP” came, I blurted it all out, probably because it was safer telling her voice mail than telling her face-to-face.

“Mom, it’s Leah, I’m at the Nolan’s, and I’m staying here. I’m… really staying here. For good. Mr. Nolan… Rob… we’re… we’re going to live together. I love him, Mom. I really love him, and he’s asked me to move in, and I said yes.

I’m eighteen, you know. I’m an adult, and this is my decision. I hope you can understand.”

I hung up quickly, putting the phone down on the floor as if it were hot to the touch. I looked at it, waiting for it to ring, but it didn’t, so I washed my face and brushed my teeth and stripped down to my t-shirt for bed before picking the phone back up again.

“Everything okay?” He was knocking on the door.

I opened it and peered out. “I told her.”

His eyes widened. “Did you talk to her?”

I shook my head, moving past him into the bedroom. “I left her a message.

But I told her I was going to stay here.”

“Tonight,” he said, coming to sit next to me on the bed. “You mean, tonight…”

“No.” I shook my head, putting the phone back in its cradle. “I told her I was moving in with you.”

He let out a breath, collapsing back onto the bed. “Well… I expect the phone is going to ring in the morning.”

“Are you going to talk to her?” I snuggled up next to him. He was just in his boxers, and I rested my cheek against his bare chest.

“I will.” He nodded, staring up at the ceiling.

“She’s going to be mad.” I traced circles over his belly with my fingernail.

He squeezed me with one arm, leaning in to kiss the top of my head. “It’ll be okay.”

“You promise?” I felt the weight of it now as we lay together in his bed.

Tilting my chin up, he kissed me. “I promise.”

The kiss moved from a soft, reassuring thing to something deeper in just moments, our tongues meshing, my body pressing itself against him like I had no control over it at all. My hands, too, found their way down to his boxers, rubbing his stiffening length through them from base to tip, pressing the head against his belly.

He groaned against my mouth when I slipped my hand under the material.

“My god, Leah… I don’t know what it is about you…”

I smiled, tugging at his shorts. “Is that a compliment?”

“Definitely,” he murmured as I slipped down between his legs, pulling his boxers off and settling myself in front of his cock. It was straight up already, and I admired the gentle curve of it as I rested my head against his thigh.

“Do you remember that first night?” My fingertips brushed over his balls, working my way up the base.

“Yes.” He shifted his weight a little as I leaned in to wrap my hand fully around him. “God, yes… just seeing you standing next to my bed, spreading that pretty little pussy for me…”

“I wanted you so much.” I kissed the head of his cock, licking around that soft, sensitive ridge and feeling him swell.

“I wanted you, too.” His hand moved to my hair, pressing me down his shaft, burying the tip of him near the back of my throat. I groaned, sucking greedily, making him moan. “Oh yeah, Leah… fuck… I couldn’t stop thinking about you… I still can’t… it wasn’t the first time…”

“What do you mean?” I murmured, pausing to lick around the head again, lapping at him like he was a melting ice cream cone and I was trying to catch all the sweet, delicious dribbles down the side.

“Oh baby,” he moaned as I sucked him into my mouth again, just the tip, moving my tongue back and forth. “I used to… god, the way you ran around here in practically nothing-and that damned uniform! Your little panties flashing all the time… I couldn’t help it. I wanted you so much.”

“Did you imagine me when you did this?” I stroked him upward, the skin caressing the head of his cock before I pulled it down tight.

“Yes,” he admitted, moving his hips as I tugged on his cock. “I used to imagine constantly. In fact, there’s a video I’ve got with a girl that looks so much like you… I can’t count how many times I watched that one and dreamed of fucking you…”

“It’s not a dream anymore.” I knelt up between his thighs and pulling my t-shirt off over my head. “I’m all yours.”

He groaned, shaking his head in disbelief as I straddled him, reaching for his hard length. I rubbed it up and down between my lips before settling him right at the entrance of my pussy and wiggling on the tip of his cock. His eyes were between my legs, watching me as I slowly started to sink down onto his thick shaft.

“Mmmmm yeah,” he murmured. “That’s a girl.”

“I love it going into me,” I breathed, sitting up on his cock and rocking around on it, moving my hips in easy circles. “Oh, god… rub my pussy… please…”

His fingers found my clit, moving it around in the same circles that my hips were making on his cock, sending jolts like livewires through my body. I closed my eyes, cupping my breasts and feeling the weight of them filling my hands. I started to squeeze my nipples as I rode him, a slow, rhythmic tug.

“God you’re so beautiful.” His fingers moved faster over my clit, making me rock a little more. I couldn’t open my eyes and look at him, too lost in my own world, just using his cock for my pleasure. The thick shaft spread me open wide, and I rolled around and around, grinding my hips as I pulled on my nipples.

“Oh Rob,” I moaned as his fingers slipped back and forth now in my wetness, rubbing my clit faster and faster. “Oh that’s so good!”

“Yes,” he urged me on. “Your little pussy is so good, baby. Come all over my cock!”

I gasped, biting my lip and feeling that gentle swell in my belly, pushing me up like the surge of a wave, the pleasure almost more than I thought I could possibly bear. I loved knowing it was coming, feeling that moment just before my climax sent me rocketing skyward, lost in the blissful heat of it.

“Now,” I whispered, moaning and rocking, my muscles contracting all around the length of his shaft. He groaned, too, when the tight walls of my pussy squeezed his cock again and again. I leaned forward onto him, collapsing over his chest as I came, panting against his neck.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he whispered into my ear, his hands moving over the rounded curve of my ass and down the soft skin of my thighs.

His cock was still inside of me, rigid and throbbing.

My eyelids fluttered open and I leaned up a little so I could kiss him, and he gave me all of his lust in that moment. He sucked hard on my tongue, grabbing my hips and shoving me down against him, grinding me there, his cock buried somewhere deep in my belly. I moaned when he rolled me, rolling with me, pressing me with his full weight down onto the bed.

I couldn’t have stopped him if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to. My pussy was still pulsing and swollen from my orgasm and his cock slid into me like I was butter, the soft, creamy sound of my wet flesh taking him in filling the room as he fucked me. I wrapped my arms around him, wanting all of him on me, in me, filling me, and he let himself collapse and just grind against me, working toward his own release.

“Yes,” I whispered into his ear, taking the weight of him, taking the thick, stiff heat of his cock again and again as he lost himself, rutting in his own pleasure. “Oh yes, Rob, come on, fuck me, work that little pussy…”

He groaned at my words, shoving in deeper still, making me gasp. I loved urging him on, making my voice low and saying all the naughty words that made his cock swell inside of me. The heat of the friction between my legs was growing, and I could feel my own surge of pleasure rising with every thrust.

“Feel that?” I murmured, squeezing my pussy around his cock and hearing his breath panting faster in my ear. “That tight, wet cunt ready to milk to your cock?”

He groaned, pushing himself up on his arms and shoving into me, his knees pushing my legs back as he worked his cock deeper. I reached down to feel where he was going into me, all the slippery wet flesh against my fingers, and then slid my hand down to cup his balls as they slapped against my ass.

They were drawn up tight, and I squeezed them gently in my hand.

“Ohhh god, baby,” I whispered, looking up at him. “All that hot cum in there for me…”

He grunted, and a twisted look came over his face that told me that he was on the edge of an ecstatic agony. I spread my legs a little wider, thrusting back up to meet him as he fucked me, my hand massaging his balls.

“I want it,” I purred, squeezing his length with my muscles, drawing him in deeper. “I want all your cum, baby. I want you to shoot it all over me!”

“Fuck, Leah,” he moaned, pulling back, the hard length of his cock slipping out of my pussy.

I grabbed for it as he started to come, one hand still cupping his balls, the other squeezing the length of his cock and stroking it against my pussy as he began to erupt. Thick, hot spurts shot over my swollen lips, and I moaned, aiming and rubbing the tip of him against my swollen clit. Just the feel of his cum, like liquid fire against that tiny bud of flesh, sent me over the edge, too, and I shuddered, making his cock kiss my little clit again and again as I came.

We had cleaned up and were both snuggled together in bed when I whispered, “Was she prettier than me?”

“Who?” he murmured, and I could hear in his voice that he was drifting off.

“The girl in the movie that you said looked like me.”

He chuckled, kissing my forehead. “Go to sleep, Leah.”

I did, letting myself think about my mother’s reaction to this new arrangement for only a moment before forcing the thought away. I wasn’t going to let her ruin what I had found here in this man’s arms. Nothing could come between us now.

It was the rocking of the bed that woke me, a slow, gentle movement.

Disoriented, dreaming of waves, I blinked at the ceiling in the darkness, trying to decide if I was still asleep. Then I heard him moan softly and call my name.

“Rob?” I whispered, rolling toward him, reaching my hand out.

“Leah?” His voice had a surprised edge as my hand made contact with the soft skin of Erica’s thigh. I slipped my hand up to her hip. She was straddling him and I knew he was inside of her.

“Oh god,” he groaned. “Erica?”

I felt Erica’s whole body tense and I eased in next to them both, murmuring, “Shhh.”

“I was asleep—” Rob started, but I kissed him quiet, moving my hand up Erica’s side and cupping her breast in my hand.

“Does it feel good, baby?” I murmured, thumbing her nipple and hearing her moan.

“Yeah,” she whispered, rocking again on top of him. “His cock is so big!”

“I know.” I reached down to feel the point where they were merged in the darkness, the thick base of his shaft slippery with her wetness. I wondered how much I’d slept through and felt a twinge of jealousy, but shoved it away.

“Erica, please, we really shouldn’t,” he murmured, groaning again. “Oh, god, don’t squeeze like that, baby!”

“Don’t you like it?” She bounced faster on him.

“I… oh… oh, fuck… please,” he moaned as she fucked him harder.

“Shhh.” I kissed him. “It’s okay… doesn’t she feel good?”

“Yes,” he admitted, sounding pained.

“Maybe we should just give your father something to do with his mouth,” I said to Erica, smiling as I moved to straddle his face. He moaned, but didn’t resist as I lowered my mound down to his mouth, rubbing my pussy over his chin, and then his tongue.

“I couldn’t help it,” Erica said as we embraced. I kissed her shoulder and neck, moaning when he found my clit and started to lick me there. “I heard you earlier… and I kept thinking about the other night…”

“It’s ok,” I whispered, kissing her mouth and pulling her closer, my breasts pressing into hers. We rubbed them together, sucking at each other’s tongues as she rode her father’s cock and I rode his face, both of us moaning softly into each other’s mouths.

Sliding my hand down, I found Erica’s clit and rubbed it. She was still smooth as a baby, her lips swollen and slick, stretched around her father’s cock. I made fast little circles, like I knew she loved, making her gasp and clutch at me.

“Oh yessss,” she cried. “Oh Daddy, I’m gonna come all over your cock!”

His mouth was busy, but I heard his muffled groan, the gentle buzz of it against my pussy sending ripples of pleasure up my spine. Erica was fucking him hard now, slamming her pussy down and grinding it, doing it again and again.

Her excitement, so close to the edge, made me want it, too, and my pussy throbbed against the lapping tongue that pushed through the soft folds of my flesh.

Erica was whispering, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” over and over, her breath short and panting in my ear, and then she was shuddering with her orgasm, throwing her arms around me, her back arching with it. I held her quivering body

to me until it subsided, her racing heart beating against mine, her limbs suddenly like liquid, her body boneless as she sank toward the bed.

She rolled off of him, now whispering, “Oh god, oh god,” over and over. I leaned forward as her father’s hands grabbed my ass and pulled my pussy in to his probing tongue. It was snaking up into my little hole, pressing the smooth, pink walls, back and forth, side to side.

“Mmmm.” I took his slick cock in my hand. He was full of her juices and I began to lick them off. “He tastes like you, Erica.”

She couldn’t resist and soon we were both licking and sucking his shaft, taking turns leisurely stroking and lapping at his cock until he was groaning and bucking underneath me, his tongue poking haphazardly between my pussy lips, distracted by his own pleasure.

“Which one of us do you want to fuck, now?” I whispered, rolling off him onto the bed.

He groaned. “Leah… god…”

I leaned over and turned on the low lamp next to the bed and we all blinked at each other. Erica was still stretched out between his legs and he looked down and met her eyes

“Do you want to fuck your daughter… or her best friend?” I teased, crawling back toward them both. “Or maybe both of us? How about that?”

Erica grinned at me, her eyes bright. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

I nodded, stretching out on my back and holding my arms out for her. Mr.

Nolan stared as Erica crawled between my legs and kissed me as we pressed together, the softness of her breasts flattening against mine, the heat of her pussy a sweet, wet pulse.

“Turn over,” I murmured against her mouth.

She smiled, biting her lip as she wiggled on top of me, and I helped her by grabbing her hips as she turned onto her back, pressing her bottom against my crotch.

“Now you get to decide.” I spread my legs and Erica’s with them. “Whose little pussy do you want?”

“Jesus, Leah,” he murmured, but he came to kneel between our thighs, looking down at us spread out for him.

I moaned when I felt the head of his cock pressed against my pussy, slipping up and down between my soft, swollen lips. Then Erica was moaning and wiggling on me, and I knew he was rubbing there now, up and down he went, first me, then her, his eyes between our legs.

“Do you like that, Daddy?” Erica reached her fingers up to tweak his nipples.

He shook his head, but his dazed eyes still focused at the apex of our open legs, and he gulped, “Yes, baby… Daddy likes it… very much.”

Erica gasped as he slid inside of her, his hands covering mine on her hips as he moved in and out. It was a slow, easy rhythm at first because he was watching himself go into her, and Erica rocked on top of me, her head going back against my shoulder and her eyes closing as she was carried away with the sensation.

“Faster, Daddy!” She cupped her own breasts. “Ohh yes… harder!”

He let out a low groan, moving my hands so he could really grab her hips as he fucked her, and I slipped my arms around Erica, cupping her breasts, too.

Just watching his face and hearing Erica’s soft cries were making my pussy drip.

I could feel my wetness leaking down the crack of my ass toward the bed, and I arched a little underneath them, whimpering.

“Me, too,” I cried, and he groaned, pulling his cock out of Erica’s pussy.

She whimpered then, too, turning her face to kiss me.

“Pull your legs back a little,” he instructed, and I did, feeling him aiming and moving forward, his cock sliding blissfully into my pussy. I wiggled happily, kissing Erica as he started to fuck me, his hands gripping the backs of my thighs.

“Ohhh yes,” I cried, rolling Erica’s nipples in my fingers, feeling her squirm on top of me. “Fuck me, baby!”

“You feel so good, Leah,” he gasped, looking down at Erica’s fingers moving through her swollen slit. She was fucking herself, too, sucking my tongue into her mouth as we all rocked together.

“Better than me, Daddy?” Erica murmured with a smile right against my mouth.

I pinched her nipples, making her squeal. “You’re so bad.”

“You’re both bad,” he groaned, thrusting harder into my pussy, making me arch and grind my clit against him. “Very, very bad.”

I gasped when his hand smacked my ass, then Erica’s, then mine again as he drove us both together toward the headboard, really working my pussy now, the wet slap of him against me filling the room.

“Oh god,” Erica moaned, her hand working between her legs. “Oh god, I’m gonna come again.”

“Good girl,” her father murmured, his eyes half-closed.

“I thought she was bad,” I teased, squirming when his hand came down on my ass again.

“Ohhhh my little pussy feels so good,” Erica moaned, bucking on top of me as she came, her belly undulating as the waves swept through her body.

“Your turn,” he said, and I felt his thumb against my clit, rubbing back and forth, teasing me toward orgasm. I tried to fight it, wanting the sweet swell of anticipation to go on and on, but his touch was practiced and skilled, making me moan in submission.

“Oh now,” I whimpered, my pussy already beginning to contract around his cock, getting ready for the real thing. It was coming. I could feel it building like some enormous tidal wave about to break through me, and he was determined to have it, rubbing and fucking me into oblivion.

“Come on, sweet baby,” he panted, his eyes meeting mine. “Come for me.”

I whimpered and knew I couldn’t resist. My body responded immediately, my climax pulsing through me in a hot, wet rhythm. My pussy grabbed his cock and held on, squeezing his thick length again and again and I arched underneath Erica, trying to press even more of him inside of me.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, giving me a few more strokes before pulling out of me and stroking it himself over Erica’s belly.

I watched as he grunted and thrust his cock through his fist, the first stream of cum jetting so far that it landed over Erica’s cheek and breast, making us both gasp with the force of it. The next spurt managed to make it to her navel, and he continued to stroke it, moaning as his cock still spewed hot, white fluid over her wet pussy that dripped down toward mine.

I stretched my tongue out, licking Erica’s cheek, sweeping through the wet splash of his cum as I made my way toward her mouth, kissing her, and we shared the taste of him together.

“You two…” he groaned, crawling over to the other side of the bed and collapsing. “Are going to kill me…”

Erica rolled off me, looking down at herself. “I’m going to go clean up.”

“Are you coming back to bed?” I watched her walk toward the bathroom.

She smiled over her shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. “That’s not my bed… it’s yours.”

His hand was moving over my hip, pulling me towards him, and I turned out the light and snuggled up close, hearing the shower start to run. I wondered what time it was, but my eyes were closed and I was asleep before I could even glance at the clock.

It was the phone that woke me. The bed was empty and the shower was running, and I reached for the phone on the night stand, but it stopped ringing when my hand touched it. I snuggled back under the covers, hugging my pillow in the early morning light. My chest felt so full with something, and I realized after a moment that I was happy, really happy. I smiled and closed my eyes, waiting for him to come back to bed.

“I’ve got to go out.” I turned toward the sound of his voice. He was already dressed and standing in the doorway. I realized that it must be Erica still in the shower.

“Awwww, it’s Sunday…” I turned over, pulling the covers aside and spreading my thighs a little. “Can’t you stay a little while?

He groaned. “I’ll be back in a flash, I promise.”

“Okay,” I sighed, parting my lips and showing him, slipping my fingers up and down my slit. “Maybe I’ll start without you…”

“Just don’t finish without me,” he said with a grin. “Be right back, okay?”

He shut the door and I sighed, my clit aching for attention again, even after our long, ecstatic night together. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him, felt him, and my whole body wanted him. I couldn’t believe I was in his bed, the same bed I had watched him stroke himself in-how long ago was it, now?

I could still see him, his cock in his hand, watching the screen. I wondered if he really had been thinking about me when he was watching that little dark-haired girl on the TV. Sliding down onto the floor, I reached under the bed for the box of videos, putting it up on the mattress and pulling off the top, realizing I’d grabbed the wrong one when I saw the family pictures inside.

There was Erica, blonde, blue-eyed little girl perfection, standing on a beach in a pink bikini and mugging for the camera. I flipped through, smiling as my fingers sifted through holidays, birthdays, and trips up north.

They were in no particular order, and Erica changed in age from newborn to teenager and back to toddler. Mr. Nolan grew a beard, a mustache, sideburns, gained a few pounds and lost them. There were a few photos of Erica’s mother when she was sick near the bottom of the box, her face so gaunt, and it made me sad to look at them. I was about to close up the box when I noticed an envelope stuck all the way at the bottom.

It was sealed, and I frowned, hesitating, but then I shrugged and opened it, expecting to find baby teeth or locks of hair. It was just more photographs.

Erica wasn’t in any of these, and Mr. and Mrs. Nolan looked very young. Maybe they were honeymoon photos? There were pictures of them kissing, laughing, and then I came to a picture that stopped me.

My mother? I frowned, peering closer. She was much younger, but it was definitely my mother with a beer in her hand and Mrs. Nolan in a short skirt pulled into her lap. I knew they’d been friends, of course. Flipping through the pictures, I found more of them together in what looked like some sort of cabin. The last picture was blurred, Mr. Nolan with his arm around them both. Who took that one? I wondered.

I heard the shower turn off and shoved the pictures back into the box and the box back under the bed. I grabbed my clothes and started getting dressed. I was pulling my t-shirt on when Erica opened the bathroom door.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked, standing naked in the doorway, towel-drying her hair.

“I’m gonna run to my house.” I pulled my hair out from under my collar.

“Get some of my stuff.”

Her eyes widened. “What about your mom?”

“I won’t see her,” I said with a wink and she gave me a knowing look. My room was on the bottom floor of our split-level, and I couldn’t count how many times I’d snuck in and out of my room after my parents were asleep, or when I was supposed to be grounded. “Be right back, okay?”

The walk to my house was short, but I checked all the windows in the back to make sure I didn’t see anyone before sliding my screen and window open. My room was untouched-clothes still all over the floor, my books strewn on my desk. I shoved those into my backpack and then grabbed a bag out of the closet, quietly emptying my drawers into it.

Kneeling to get my jeans out of the bottom drawer, I heard my mother’s voice drifting through the heating grate. My room was right on the other side of the kitchen, and I realized she must have company.

“You can’t do this,” she said. “You don’t understand!”

It was a man’s voice responding to her, too soft for me to hear.

“I know you care about her,” my mother went on. “But you are making a huge mistake. You have no idea!”

I froze, my heart leaping in my chest. Who was she talking to?

“Rob, you have stop this!” my mother screamed-screamed! “You can’t be with Leah, you just can’t!”

Oh my god. I stared at the heating grate as if I could see them, and this time I heard his voice, raised enough for me to make out his words.

“Patty, I love her,” he said, his tone firm.

“It’s impossible!” my mother screamed. I winced, wanting to cover my ears, but I didn’t. “It’s illegal!”

“It’s not impossible,” he replied. “And it’s not illegal. She’s an adult, and this is what she wants.”

“Rob, no!” My mother’s voice, pleading. Was she crying? “Please, don’t do this, you can’t do this…”

“Give me a good reason why?” he demanded and my heart swelled, hearing the determination in his voice. He really did love me!

“Because,” my mother choked. “Oh god… because she’s your daughter, Rob. She’s your daughter…”

The only sound I heard was the sobbing coming through the heating grate and the scream in my own head, like a siren going off. I remembered the pictures under the bed, the look in his eyes when he saw me wearing his dead wife’s dress, when he told me, “You look like your mother,” and knew it was true. I just knew it.

A sudden calm came over me and I stood, dropping my bag and opening my bedroom door. They didn’t see me pass the kitchen or go out the front.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I reached the front doors of the church. It was Sunday and early mass had let out. There was a line in front of the confessional and I went to the front of it. The woman standing there waiting took one look at my face and took a step back, waving me on.

The confessional was dark but I closed my eyes anyway, wiping at the tears running down my face, but it was no us- they kept coming.

“Yes, my child?” The Father’s voice urged me to speak and I opened my mouth, but no words came out. What could I say?

I took a shaky breath, bowing my head, and whispered, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…”