Until You

Chapter 34

The Homecoming dance was exactly what I thought it would be. Pictures, punch, and poor-ass music. The gym had been decorated in a New York theme, which Tate loved, and I was extremely fucking delighted that Madoc had joined us, after all.

He filled in where I failed.

Dancing in public? Check.

Cutsie pictures with loving poses? Check.

Polite, futile, nonsensical chatter? Check.

I played along, but situations like this were like eating a mouthful of lemons. Madoc made it more fun for Tate at least.

And her?

She read me like a book.

She was light on the public displays of affection and heavy on the eye fucking.

I couldn’t wait to get her home.

But we had another appearance to put in first.

“Are you sure you want to go?” I asked her as we walked hand-in-hand up the Beckman’s driveway.

Tori and Bryan Beckman, twins and our classmates, were having an after party, and Madoc insisted that we get our thumbs out of our asses and get crazy.

“I’m fine,” she whispered. “Not tired at all.”

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. I wasn’t worried about her being tired, but I didn’t want to bring up last year’s incident, either. That’s what I was really worried about.

A year ago, before Tate had left for France, I’d let Madoc dump her car keys in the pool here and watched as she dived in to fish them out.

She’d been humiliated, and I figured this was the last place she’d want to be.

In fact, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be here myself.

Not only did I have our own after-party planned, but the longer I waited to come clean about the rest of the story, the more it was the only thing I thought about. I’d been sitting on it all week, and it was time to bite the fucking bullet.

I needed to tell her about Jax.

Walking through the ceramic-tiled foyer, we followed Madoc down the carpeted stairs into the huge dipped living room.

The big room already bustled with at least sixty or seventy of our classmates, and the music pounded so hard, I could feel it through my shoes.

My arm stretched behind me, and I looked back, noticing that Tate had come to a complete halt.

I let out a sigh. Shit.

Her chest rose and fell quickly, and she swallowed, clearly nervous. Like a deer in headlights.

My stomach tightened, and I just wanted to take her out of there now. This was a bad idea.

“Tate, are you okay?” I kept my voice soft, but I was afraid she’d haul off and break my nose this time instead of Madoc’s like she did here a year ago.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked around, and then she just shook her head. “Yeah, I need a drink.”

I didn’t believe her, but the corners of my mouth turned up anyway.

Tough girl.

We squeezed through a throng of people coming out of the kitchen as Adrenalize by In This Moment blasted throughout the house. Madoc was already making drinks, and I watched as Tate took the one he offered.

I was the designated driver tonight—well, pretty much any night, since I barely drank in public—and I definitely didn’t plan on staying here long anyway. I just stood there, trying not to laugh as she choked down the dark liquid.

Madoc grinned from ear to ear as she tipped her chin up, swallowed the last of her drink and then threw the cup into the sink.

She coughed into her hand, and all I could do was hold her waist, letting her get comfortable.

She should have fun. I didn’t want her nervous or scared that a prank was going to go down.

And that’s why she was drinking, so I just let it be.

“Aw, she’s as red as a tomato,” Madoc joked.

“Piss off,” Tate scowled at him, but he just winked at her.

K.C. and Liam sauntered in, looking like yin and yang. She was bright-eyed and smiling, while he looked constipated with his bored expression and pursed lips.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted, pulling Liam behind her.

He pushed the hair out of his eyes and nodded at Madoc and me but said nothing.

I knew it was me making him uncomfortable, and I had to force a straight face.

He probably still thought I’d gotten in his girlfriend’s pants, and I couldn’t help being impressed with K.C. for not telling him the truth. She was playing with him, making him suffer, no doubt. And why shouldn’t she?

She and Tate still weren’t back to square one, but they’d get there, and Liam could go fuck himself.

Madoc finished off his drink and immediately started making two more until I shook my head at him. Tate didn’t notice it as she talked with K.C., but Madoc got my warning.

I needed her awake for a while.

Leaning in, I whispered in her ear. “Come with me.”

I didn’t wait for her to even look at me before I grabbed her hand and led her out of the kitchen. We squeezed through the crowd of partygoers, all in little clusters, and tried not to get slammed with drinks in the process.

Once we made it to the stairs, I hurriedly led Tate to the second floor. I had no plans to make use of the rooms here with her, but people saw us go up and would draw their own conclusions when we came back down.

I just needed her alone for a few minutes.

To right a wrong.

Opening the door to the first bedroom I found, I peeked in and found it empty. Pulling Tate in, I had barely even closed the door before I backed her into it and dove for her lips.

She stumbled and latched onto my shoulders to steady herself. The surprised little moan she let loose filled my mouth so damn hard that I was ready to ride this storm right here and now.

Yeah, this was not what I’d planned, but I’d been good tonight.

I deserved a reward.

She tasted like peaches, and I pulled her barely-clothed body into me, close to forgetting why I was up here in the first place.

“God, Tate.” I dipped my head to nibble her ear lobe. “Your dress should be burned.”

“Why?” she breathed out, leaning her neck into me for more.

“Every fucking guy has been looking at you tonight. I’m going to get arrested.”

My tone was joking, but my words weren’t. I wasn’t insecure about Tate. I knew she loved me, and I could trust her. I also didn’t mind other guys looking at her, wanting her. It kind of turned me on, actually.

No, my crime would lay in the fact that every time some dipshit pointed at her tonight or some asshole did a double take when she walked by, I wanted to put my hands all over her to show them who had claim.

They could look.

They could want.

But she was going home with me, and I felt like rubbing it in.

Couldn’t exactly feel her up in public, though.

She pulled away and held my head in her hands, her eyes searching mine. “I’m yours. It’s always been you,” she assured.

I held her gaze, her fire meeting my ice, and I couldn’t deny her one more damn thing that she deserved.

“Come here.” I led her to the center of the room and took out my phone. She watched me, while I clicked on Seether’s Broken and placed the phone on the chest of drawers near the balcony doors.

Tate watched me, silently, with her arms hanging at her side and a mixture of curiosity and excitement in her eyes.

Taking her hand in mine, I kept my eyes on hers as I guided her arms around my neck and pulled her body into mine.

As we started moving to music, I barely heard anything. Not the romp of the party downstairs. Not the chatter around the house and outside.

Her eyes were glued to mine, looking beyond everything else.

And suddenly we were fourteen again, back in her bedroom, and arguing about Silverchair.

I was Jared. She was Tate. And we were inseparable.

“I’m sorry I didn’t dance with you tonight,” I told her, regret lacing my voice. “I don’t like doing things like that in public. It feels too personal, I guess.”

She took a deep breath and leveled me with her hard gaze. “I don’t want you to change who you are,” she said, shaking her head. “But I might like to dance with you some time or hold your hand.”

I wrapped my hands around her waist, locking her in. “I’ll try, Tate. Yesterday is gone. I know that. I want that comfort we used to have back.”

“Your tattoo?” She looked up at me, as if realizing something. “‘Yesterday lasts forever, Tomorrow comes never’. That’s what it says. What does it mean?”

I lightly caressed her hair. “Just that I was living in the past. What happened with my father, what happened with you, I could never get over the anger. Yesterday kept following me. And tomorrow, the new day, never seemed to come.”

“And the lantern on your arm?” she pressed further, and I laughed.

“Oh, you ask too many questions.”

But she just continued to stare at me, mentally tapping her foot.

Alright, dammit.

“The lantern is you, Tate. The light.” Her dancing in her light purple nightgown with white stars on it when she was eleven flashed through my mind. “I got it after I got in trouble last year. I needed to clean up my act, and my mom decided to do the same thing with her drinking. We both picked one thought that would get us through the day. A dream or a desire…” I’d never asked my mom about her dream or desire.

“Me?” She pinched her eyebrows together, looking surprised.

“It’s always been you.” I repeated her same words. “I love you, Tate.”

She smiled, bringing her lips to mine. “I love you, too,” she whispered, and the tickle across my mouth was like a fire over my body.

Jesus Christ.

My fingers dug into her, but it was her hands that owned me. She ran her hands up my arms before threading one hand through my hair.

She pulled away and then came back in to tease me again and again: flicking her tongue under my top lip and catching my bottom lip between her teeth. The tiny nibbles had tingles electrifying my groin, and my stomach damn near growled with hunger.

Fuck. I didn’t know whether I wanted to fuck her or eat her.

“Unzip me,” she forced out between kisses along my jaw.

Don’t do this now, I begged silently.

“Let’s just get out of here,” I suggested. “I’m in the mood for more than a quickie.”

“Well, I’ve never had a quickie,” she taunted. “Unzip me.”

I sucked in a breath, throbbing in my pants and too ready for her.

As soon as I’d undone her dress, which fell down and sat at her waist, we were both at the point of no return.

“Where’d my good girl go?” I teased, but I loved it.

Bad only for me.

She was a drug, and I was higher than a kite. In no time at all, my hands were all over her smooth, heavenly back, and my lips were buried in her warm neck.

Her urgent fingers worked my tie and the buttons of my shirt, and I cupped her breasts, eating up every little moan and gasp that came out of her mouth. She was so sensitive on her chest. I circled one arm behind her back and ran the other hand up and down one of her breasts, feeling her nipple get harder every time I trailed across it.

“Jared,” she whispered, wrapping an arm around my neck and kissing me. “I really am a good girl, but tonight I want to be really, really bad.”

Goddamn. She was killing me, and I swear every time our lips came together, I was about to explode. I couldn’t wait until we got home.

Fuck it.

I ripped open my shirt, a few buttons flying off in the process, while I watched, half-dazed, as she peeled off the rest of her clothes, leaving only her nude-colored high heels on.

Wow.

My heart raced, my mouth went dry, and my breathing sped up. All of my blood rushed south, and I was harder than a fucking brick. I was definitely in a lot more pain than I’d ever been before.

I needed to get inside of her.

“Fuck, Tate.” I caressed as much of her as I could reach and kissed her hard. Tightening every muscle in my body, I had to force myself not to throw her on the goddamn bed. “I’m sorry. I want to go slow with you. It’s just so hard. Do you think in ten years I’ll finally get to where I’ll actually need foreplay to get hard with you?”

She stood there, brave and bold, knowing she had me under her thumb.

I took a condom out of my pocket, placed it on the nightstand and peeled off the rest of my clothes, sighing in relief when my dick sprang free.

Picturing what I wanted to do to Tate wasn’t nearly as painful as seeing her look at me. She looked down my body, almost like she wanted to take the time to study it or something. Reaching out her hand, I nearly jumped when she started stroking me.

I exhaled hard in short, heavy breaths.

This was something she hadn’t really done yet. Explored my body like this.

Her eyes seemed amazed and curious, and I didn’t want to miss this for anything. She watched me respond to her, how I grew and jerked at her soft but strong touch, and I didn’t think I could be on fire any more than I was.

Shit, baby. Now, now, now…

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. It could’ve been the heels, her body, or the way she blew my mind just being herself, but I was done for.

Grabbing the condom, I tore open the wrapper and slipped the sucker on, not taking an eye off of her.

Pulling her close, I crushed her body with mine, feeling her hot, naked skin melting into mine.

She broke contact and whispered in my ear. “My turn.”

What?

My eyes widened, not sure what she meant until she pushed my back on the bed and came down to straddle on top of me.

My dick was pressed to her warm, wet opening, and I squeezed her hips, almost growling.

“You’re perfect. Perfect for me,” I said, feeling the soft, sexy skin in my hands.

Goddammit, I needed her. Now.

Her blonde hair spilled around her, and she was an animal, looking at me like she knew exactly how to kill me.

Lifting up, she slowly came down as I guided my cock inside of her. She was so small that we needed help, and I had no problem with that.

Pleasure swept over me like a wave of heat as I laid back and felt her warmth coat me. I put a hand on her breast and another on her hip, touching and guiding.

“Tell me you like it, Tate.” I had to know that she loved this. That she was going to come back for more.

That she was my girlfriend.

I never wanted to give anyone that title, because I thought I wouldn’t be able to make the commitment.

That wasn’t it.

I already had a girlfriend. All along, even though we were enemies, no one could take Tate’s place.

Tell me, baby. Say it.

“I…” she gasped as she moved her hips in a wild, you-better-do-that-all-damn-night motion that had me breathing hard.

I jerked my hips up, pushing deeper inside of her. “Say it.”

Her eyebrows pinched together in the good kind of pain as she stumbled over the words. “I love it.” She smiled. “I love it with you.”

I shot up and wrapped my arms around her back and buried my face in her chest, taking a firm breast in my mouth.

“You taste like candy,” I whispered against her skin as I dragged out a nipple between my teeth. “You’re not getting any fucking sleep tonight, Tatum Brandt. You know that, right?”

“Do you?” she shot back, taking my face in her hands.

Such a handful.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you last week when…when we were in your room.”

We laid underneath the covers, naked and happily exhausted, staring up at the ceiling.

I caressed her arm as she rested her head under my chin.

I didn’t want to disturb this perfect calm, but it was time.

Telling the truth is like lying. Once you do it, it becomes easier.

“What?” Her voice was raspy, and I didn’t know if it was a lion ripping at my stomach or a rhino stomping around my chest, but I was nervous.

“I left my brother at my dad’s house. I ran out of there without him,” I confessed.

She arched her neck back to peer up at me. “Jared, I know. You told me that part. That you tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t.”

I nodded. “I didn’t tell you everything, though. The day I ran out, my father had forced me into the basement to help my brother. With what, I didn’t know, but when I got down there, I saw…” The bile started forcing its way up my throat, so I concentrated on my breathing. “I saw my dad’s girlfriend and his friend dead on the basement floor.”

She popped up and stared down at me with pinched eyebrows. “Dead?”

“Come back here.” I pulled her back down, but she propped up her arm in the bed and rested her head on her balled up fist instead.

I guess she wanted eye contact.

“Yeah, as far as I could tell with the fucking distance I kept. Jax was sitting against the far wall, holding his knees against his chest and staring at nothing. He didn’t look scared or angry, just like he was a little confused or something.” I narrowed my eyes, trying to imagine what could have been going through his head.

“How do you know they were dead?” she asked softly and swallowed.

“There was blood. They weren’t moving.” I shook the images from my head. “Anyway, I couldn’t get Jax to wake up, so to speak. He just sat there and would only say that he was fine, and that we had to clean up the mess. It was like he didn’t even know it was me in the room.”

Tate looked at me, concern in her eyes, and I hoped she understood.

“You feel guilty.” She figured me out.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “It was unbearable, being in that house. Being in that basement. Why wouldn’t he come with me?” I asked more to myself than Tate.

“Have you asked him?”

“Once.” I caressed her hair. “He doesn’t remember, he says.”

“What do you think happened down there?” She asked the question I’d been asking myself for years. My father wasn’t arrested for murder. I don’t even know if the police found bodies when I got home and reported my brother’s abuse.

I thought for a minute, afraid to admit out loud what I knew was ridiculous to suspect.

“I think two lowlifes got exactly what they deserved.”