Unwound

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“I’M not sure on that font,” Amery said. “Too curved. Too fat.”

Molly laughed. “Think a fat font on low-calorie snack packaging would be considered creating a subliminal message?”

“I can’t believe people get paid to think about this stuff. Did you know that Okada has fifty food scientists on staff?” Amery shook her head. “Do some kids grow up with the goal of having a career in food science?”

“I don’t know. But I hear getting a job in Hershey, Pennsylvania, is a sweet gig.”

Amery groaned. “Let’s call it a night.”

Molly stood and stretched. “It’s weird working this late because you leave a vapor trail as soon as five o’clock rolls around. What are you and Ronin doing tonight?”

Nothing, since she hadn’t contacted Ronin yet.

After he’d pointed out her admittedly selfish behavior Friday night, she’d had every intention of calling him first thing Sunday morning after spending Saturday working, pretending everything was peachy. But on Sunday, Emmylou had a meltdown after her breakup with Sasha and had sounded near suicidal.

As much as Amery had appreciated Emmylou’s friendship over the years, it occurred to her as she listened to her friend complain and cry that Emmylou’s friendship was one-sided. She’d never asked about Amery’s state of mind during her breakup with Ronin. She’d never asked how things were going after they’d gotten back together. Since they hadn’t spent much time together recently, Amery had invited Emmylou to the MMA fight—and then had to listen to Emmylou’s diatribe against men’s need to prove their dicks were superior through violence and then recite stats on physically abused women who were involved with those types of men who used steroids and their fists.

Seemed Emmylou’s personality had undergone a drastic change in recent months, and Amery didn’t like the changes. She’d keep their landlord and tenant relationship businesslike from here on out. Then she vowed it’d be the last time she’d waste an entire day trying to make someone else feel better about herself at the expense of fixing her own problems. By the time Amery had returned home, she’d been in no frame of mind to offer Ronin the apology he deserved.

Four loud raps on the front door had Amery checking to see who’d show up so late. Ronin? No. He’d use his key and come in through the back door.

Shiori was impatiently tapping her foot on the other side of the glass. Amery unlocked the door and Shiori walked past her with a brusque, “We need to talk.”

Then she stopped abruptly upon seeing Molly.

“Shiori Hirano, VP of Okada Foods, this is my assistant, Molly Calloway.”

Molly offered her hand. “It’s good to finally meet you in person. I’m excited to work on the new Okada line.” When Shiori stared at her blankly, Molly added, “Oh, I enjoyed watching you fight the other night.”

“The feeling is mutual,” she said, obviously not really paying attention to the conversation, and headed toward Amery’s office.

When Molly raised both eyebrows in a silent, Is she always this self-absorbed? Amery shrugged.

“I’ll lock up,” Molly said, grabbing her coat and purse. “See you tomorrow.”

Amery waited until Molly left before approaching Shiori as she prowled in Amery’s office like a caged cat. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but why are you here?”

Shiori whirled around. “I need a drink.”

“Did something happen to Ronin?” Amery asked sharply.

“Not in the way you think.”

“Start explaining. Now.”

Those beautiful golden eyes, identical to Ronin’s, were a little wild looking. “Naomi is in Denver and she confronted Ronin tonight.”

Amery froze. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear their conversation, but I saw her smug fucking face as she walked out. When I tried to talk to Ronin, he cut me off and bailed. So I know you want to go to him, but there’s more to the story with Naomi and it’s time you knew the truth.” Shiori looked more miserable than Amery had ever seen her.

“Now I need a goddamn drink. Come upstairs.” She shut off all the lights as they headed to the back room.

Shiori took one look at the circular metal staircase, then slipped off her spike heels.

Amery hadn’t spent much time in her loft in recent weeks. Since she practically lived with Ronin, it shouldn’t be such a big deal to make it official and tell him yes, she would move in with him. But what if she rented out her loft and everything with Ronin fell apart? Where would she go? She’d suffered through something like that with her ex Tyler and had no desire to repeat the experience.

In the kitchen, she opened the cabinet where she stashed liquor. “Your booze choices are gin, whiskey, vodka, and Baileys. My mixer selection is limited.”

“I’ll have Baileys.”

Amery set out two lowball glasses, filled them with ice, and poured the creamy liqueur. “Here you go.”

Shiori knocked back the entire glass before she poured herself another.

Not a good sign.

But Shiori relaxed a little and slid onto a barstool. Then she spun it around to check out the space. “This place has a great vibe. Like you, I lived in the same building where I worked in Tokyo. I could never really get away from work.”

“That is the downside. Ronin has the right idea about keeping his work space separate from his personal space.”

“He’s always been able to compartmentalize.”

“Quit stalling and tell me what happened tonight.”

“Ronin and I met at the conference hall before we split up so he could meet with equipment sponsors. I was chatting with a guy who sets up trade shows in Tokyo when I saw her.”

“Naomi.”

She nodded. “At first I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I followed her and got close enough to see her face smeared with red lipstick. I’ll admit I panicked, thinking she’d already found Ronin and baited him.”

Amery’s gut clenched.

“But then I saw her nasty grin . . .” Shiori briefly closed her eyes. “When I tracked Ronin down, he was in that state between shock and fury. Naomi told him that I’d told her where to find him.”

“Did you?”

“No! I haven’t seen Naomi for years. But I can see where my brother would believe it because I introduced them in the first place. I told you that Ronin and Naomi met at a Japanese social club. What I didn’t tell you? It wasn’t a random meeting. My marriage . . .” She looked away. “Wasn’t good. I married against my mother and my grandfather’s wishes and against my own common sense. Anyway, when it became too unbearable to endure, Grandfather promised to handle my divorce and all the legal stuff if I did one thing for him.”

“Set Ronin up with Naomi.”

“Yes. In Japan, arranged marriages aren’t unusual between families with similar interests. We knew Ronin wouldn’t ever agree to it, so we had to take a different tack. Since Naomi’s family owns banks in Japan, Ronin would know Naomi wasn’t after him for his money. But those banks were in trouble—I don’t know the exact details, but Okada Foods transferring twenty percent of their financial business to a different bank would have a tremendous impact.”

“But why Naomi?”

“She’s beautiful. Cultured. She’s from a respected family. It appeared she was successful in business in her own right—but that was just another family fabrication. She lived modestly—which also appealed to my brother, although he didn’t know it wasn’t Naomi’s choice to live that way. My grandfather understood my brother would suspect anyone he introduced him to. And since I was supposedly in Denver on business, Ronin promised he’d escort me to official Okada functions. The only reason Ronin went to the Japanese social club with me that night was because they were holding an auction of shunga art.”

“Naomi was there.”

She nodded. “He and Naomi struck up a conversation about the pieces and ended up in a good-natured bidding war. Ronin won, but he asked Naomi out for dinner. Within two months, they were seeing each other exclusively. They swapped one kind of club for another. His rope expertise isn’t a secret in the jujitsu martial arts world—he’s a record holder in Japan for the second-fastest time for a hojojutsu tie.”

She’d been on the receiving end of that particular skill. “Did Naomi know about Ronin’s rope mastery before they met?”

Shiori nodded. “Naomi took to the club lifestyle quickly—as I’m sure Ronin told you. During the time they were together, she kept up the pretense of their relationship—volatile as it was—and I’d secretly hoped they’d fallen for each other for real. But then . . .” She picked up her drink and drained it. “Ronin tried to break it off with her after she’d disrespected him. Then Naomi told him everything had been set up by his family. She only wanted his money and the status she’d get by being married to an Okada heir.”

Amery closed her eyes when the sick churning in her stomach made her dizzy.

“My brother cut off all contact with me, with our grandfather and our mother. No phone calls, no e-mails, nothing. For one year. He believed we’d infiltrated his dojo and planted spies, so he released all his instructors except for Shihan.”

“I can’t even fathom his sense of betrayal and animosity toward you.”

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through. Realizing what I’d done and how much I’d lost by betraying my only brother’s trust. I’d known it was wrong at the time, but I went along with it because I was so desperate to get out of a marriage that was suffocating me.”

Amery couldn’t feel sorry for Shiori—she’d made her choices. But their grandfather had manipulated Ronin, which would make Ronin question the loyalty of everyone around him and trust no one.

So by not telling him she’d taken the Okada offer, she’d given him reason to fear her feelings for him weren’t real.

When have you ever told him how you really feel anyway?

“I don’t know what happened or why Naomi returned to Denver, but the truth is she’s the psycho type who’d show up here just because she’s heard Ronin is happy and she wants to fuck with him and fuck that up for him.” Shiori took her hand. “He will try to close himself off from you, and you can’t let him do that. You should go to him. He needs you.”

Amery shooed Shiori out the door and got in her car.

• • •

AFTER Ronin’s run-in with Naomi, he returned to a private practice room at the dojo and worked on kata forms for two hours, until he was drenched in sweat. Reaching the exercise high dulled some of his rage. But it wasn’t enough. He headed up to the roof, ditched his gi, dove into the pool, and started to swim laps.

The water temp cooled more than his hot head. In the repetitive rhythm of his strokes and the silence, he found his calm center. Where maintaining breath work required every ounce of concentration. Where time was irrelevant. He could’ve been in the pool ten minutes or four hours. His existence boiled down to stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe.

When he had depleted all the oxygen in his muscles, he stopped and floated on his back, arms and legs spread out in an X, still aiming for sensory deprivation.

Then he heard footsteps across the concrete deck.

A rush of happiness, of completeness, of need, of relief flowed over him.

Amery.

He let his feet sink to the bottom and he stood.

She waited at the edge of the steps, holding a bath sheet.

Ronin slowly exited the pool and let Amery wrap the big towel around his body. He remained still as she wrapped herself around him.

They stayed like that, bound together by unspoken words until the night chill caused him to shiver.

Amery eased back and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Let’s get you warmed up. I turned the fireplace on.”

Inside the penthouse he noticed she’d moved a chair directly in front of the fire. After swapping the wet towel for his favorite stadium blanket, she settled him in the chair and swaddled him in fleece. Once she’d gently towel dried his hair, she ran her fingers through it, gifting him with the soothing touch he craved.

Warmth from the fire and her TLC seeped into his muscles and bones, turning his blood sluggish and his breathing slow. Physically and mentally exhausted, he dozed off.

A loud pop awoke him.

Startled, he glanced over at Amery sitting in the chair next to him, staring into the fireplace. Since she appeared to be brooding, he watched the golden glow of flames flickering across her beautiful face.

“Didn’t your mother teach you it’s impolite to stare?” she asked softly.

“She taught me to appreciate beauty.”

Amery looked at him. “Are you warmed up?”

“Yes. Thank you.” He paused. “I need—”

“To go to bed. It’s late. And you’ve had a trying day.”

Not the answer he wanted.

“But it seems a shame to waste this ambience.”

She pushed her chair back and spread another blanket on the floor in front of the fire before she started stripping off her clothes.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m apologizing with my body tonight. We’ll get to the talking stuff tomorrow.”

Ronin stood and tried to kiss her, but she gave him a sultry laugh and ducked her head.

“I’m the seducer here, Master Black.” She playfully tugged the blanket. “Lose the cover.”

He let the blanket drop.

Amery’s eyes ate him up. “Handy that you swam naked.” She moved in to him, rubbing her bare skin against his, teasing his lips with flirty kisses. Reaching between them, she stroked his shaft, which had already gone hard. “You like the idea of me being on top.”

“I like the idea of us naked together any way I can get you.”

She slid her soft lips over his jaw, eliciting a sigh, and then down his neck, eliciting another. “There’s no sexy, romantic way to get us on the floor. So you first.”

He crouched down and rolled to his back.

Amery followed him down. Her knees bracketed his hips, and she hung above him on all fours. “How is it possible you look even more beautifully fierce by firelight?”

“Baby, you don’t have to sweet-talk me. I’m a sure thing.”

“As a gorgeous specimen of manliness, you should be able to take a compliment because you should be used to it.” He shivered when she pressed her lips in the hollow beneath his ear. “If you’re cold, I can get the blanket.”

“No.” Ronin pushed her hair over her shoulder. “I want to watch you moving on me.”

Her teeth grazed his earlobe. She zigzagged her tongue down to his nipples. Sweetly tormenting them with her mouth while the silky ends of her hair swung against the side of his body like a hundred ghostly fingertips.

She didn’t tease him until the point he begged her—but almost. Finally she circled his cock at the base and adjusted her hips, drawing the tip across her wet entrance before pushing down on a slow glide. She slanted her mouth over his and swallowed his groan.

So good. Every damn time. He felt enveloped by her completely—she’d caged him in, her chest against his, her forearms by his head, her elbows above his shoulders, her hair a veil of softness around his head. Every time he breathed in, his lungs were filled with the scent of her.

Ronin palmed her hips, feeling the muscles in her ass flexing as she rode him. The heat from the fire warmed his left side, but the fire she’d started inside him turned his blood white hot.

But she kept the pace slow. Steady. The perfect mix of passion and comfort. She was the perfect mix of everything he’d ever wanted in a woman and had lost hope that he’d ever find.

She broke the kiss and sighed against his lips. “You make my head spin, Ronin.” She used her teeth to scrape the razor stubble on his jaw. “Even when I’m the seducer, I am utterly, completely, and totally seduced by you.”

“Baby.”

Amery kissed his chin. The curve of his lips. His cheeks. The corners of his eyes. His temples. Then she pushed back and balanced on her knees. Keeping her eyes on his, she lifted and lowered onto his cock.

“You’re beautiful.” The curves and planes of her body were a golden delight, bathed in the firelight.

She grabbed his hands, placing one on each of her thighs. “Touch me with these hands and make me feel beautiful.”

Ronin stroked her legs, her arms, her shoulders, her belly.

When she arched back, wrapping her hands around his shins, his thumb delved into the heart of her.

“Yes, do that.” She rode him harder, and he knew her orgasm was close.

The moment her body stiffened, he pinched her nipple and her clit simultaneously.

She gasped. Her head fell back and her nails dug into the outside of his calves.

Ronin couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her abandonment to the moment and so openly sharing her joy were breathtaking.

As soon as she floated back down and began to move again, a challenge in her eye, he jackknifed up and took her mouth in a brutal kiss.

Skin on skin, mouth on mouth, heat and passion ratcheted up his need. Hips pumping, one hand bunched in her hair, one gripping her ass, he came fast and he came hard.

Her cunt clamped around his shaft with a hot pulse, her tongue stabbed into his mouth in the same rhythm she fucked him. And she didn’t relent, driving harder and harder against him until she came again.

Ronin panted against her neck. Her hands stroked and soothed him as he tried to find any coherent thought beyond, Goddamn, that was fucking good.

They stayed locked together, hearts thundering, light and shadows dancing across their bodies.

“I was right,” she murmured against the top of his head. “The fireplace does add ambience.”

He wrapped his hand around her throat, holding her chin so she couldn’t squirm away. “What you bring to me is more than I ever thought I’d have.” He kissed her once. “Thank you.”

She eased back and pushed to her feet. She folded the blankets and picked up her clothes. Then she clicked off the fireplace and held out her hand. “Let me take you to bed.”

In his bedroom, Amery tucked her body into his, her cheek against his heart, her belly pressed into his hip, her left leg over the top of his.

He could actually feel her eyelashes sweep over his pectoral every time she blinked, so he knew she wasn’t asleep. So why wasn’t she pushing him to talk?

Because she didn’t want to ruin this time together. Nothing would get solved tonight anyway.

• • •

DESPITE his stress-filled day, Ronin slept like a log.

He woke to an empty bed. After he donned a clean pair of gi pants and a T-shirt, he tracked her down.

He didn’t find her mainlining coffee in the kitchen or gazing out the windows in the dining area. But he spied her purse on the couch and realized she hadn’t gone far.

Just as he headed to the elevator, the door opened and she stepped out fully dressed for work. Before she uttered a word, his mouth was on hers. He loved that surprised eep she made. He cupped her face in his palms and kissed her thoroughly.

“Happy morning to you too,” she panted against his neck.

“I don’t like waking up alone. Been three very long days that I’ve suffered through that.”

“Sorry. I peeked out the window and saw all the swirling black and gray clouds, so I went to the roof for a closer look.” She pecked his mouth. “The brooding sky reminds me of you.”

Ronin stroked her cheek. “Brooding man didn’t scare you away this time.”

“No. This time I was prepared. This time I came to you.”

He murmured, “And so you did.” She had no idea how happy that made him.

“We need to talk, but not without coffee.”

He let her do her thing in his kitchen. She’d added homey touches, including a grain silo–shaped cookie jar and new oven mitts. He’d tamped down his impatience to have her in his home and in his bed as soon as possible. If it was easier for her to get here piece by piece, then he’d let it happen her way. “I was surprised to see you last night.”

“I figured you weren’t expecting company when I watched you swimming laps as if you were racing Michael Phelps.”

“How long did you watch?”

“Long enough to know to leave you alone.”

“So you just sensed my cosmic distress?”

She shook her head. “Shiori came by. It freaked me out because I worried something bad had happened to you. Then, after talking to her, I realized something bad had happened to you, just not what I’d expected.”

“Not what I’d expected either.”

Amery poured two mugs and slid one across the counter. “What was it like seeing Naomi?”

The hot coffee scalded his tongue. “No different from the last time I saw her. She talked shit, made threats. Trying to rile me and to get people to notice her.” He watched the steam rising from her cup. “What did Shiori tell you?”

“She didn’t say anything about what went on last night because she didn’t know.”

“But she did fill you in on how it played out three and a half years ago between Naomi and me,” he said curtly.

When Amery didn’t respond right away, his gut clenched at the thought of digging up this mess again. Of Amery knowing. “Did Shiori divulge all the dirty details?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I thought we needed to talk about it.”

Ronin glanced up. “You know that Naomi was a plant from my grandfather to align her family’s business interests with ours. You know that I spent two goddamn years of my life with her, believing we had something . . . when it was all a lie. Everything was a lie.”

“That’s not what you initially told me,” she said softly. “Why?”

“Do you think I wanted you to know that my family paid a woman to be with me? To love me? And that I was so stupid and so goddamn desperate for it that I believed it was real? It appeared that Naomi accepted everything about me, and she never cared about my financial status. Surely a gold digger would’ve asked for money or support, but she never broached the subject. Which made it so fucking . . . humiliating when she told me that my grandfather had been giving her money every month as an incentive to stay with me.”

Amery moved in behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Don’t let her back in your head. She doesn’t get to fuck up your life again. I won’t let that happen. It’s my life now too.”

He closed his eyes.

“And fuck the negative train of thought that women would only love you because you’re a billion-dollar baby.” She kissed his ear. “Baby, I fell in love with you before I knew you had billions.”

Shocked, Ronin slowly turned around on the barstool. “What did you say?”

“I said I love you. And you were right; I’ve been holding back on telling you. I don’t know why. I fell in love with you months ago. That night I gave you the picture of me bound? I’d planned to confess all, but I chickened out. I believed I had plenty of time, and I wanted the moment to be perfect.”

“Then, the next day, you walked out after you discovered—”

She put her fingers over his lips. “That you’d withheld so much from me that I felt like I didn’t even know the man I’d fallen in love with.”

“So you fell out of love with me?”

“No. But I did hold back from telling you all this time. Not out of spite, but out of fear.” Amery pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss. “Because loving you is a scary thing, Ronin Black.”

“Amery. I’m . . .” Speechless. Instead of trying to find the words to fit the moment, he fit his mouth to hers, pouring everything in his heart and soul into the kiss.

When they finally ended the lip-lock, Amery said, “Wow.”

He nuzzled her neck. “Say it again.”

“Wow.”

He smacked her ass. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”

“I’m sorry you ever doubted how I feel about you, Ronin.” She tipped his head back and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about taking the Okada job. But I promise it wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you. Or that I don’t value you or your opinion. I fucked up by not telling you. It won’t happen again. And I’d planned to come over last night and apologize before I found out about Naomi.”

“Thank you. Apology accepted.”

“Now. Don’t you have something else to say to me?”

Ronin twined a section of her hair around his finger. “I’m the luckiest man on earth because you love me.”

“Not that.” She placed her palms on his cheeks and tilted his face back. “You know it scares me that you won’t discuss what the doctor said at your follow-up appointment.”

Her fingertips brushed the tops of his ears, and he discreetly ducked his head to free himself from her touch. After years of fighting, his slightly disfigured cauliflower ears were a source of embarrassment for him and the main reason he wore his hair long—to cover them up.

“Ronin, I’m not letting this go.”

“The neurologist is being overly cautious. He insisted no contact sports and no practice with contact sports for six months. Then in the next breath he said—” He stopped. He didn’t want to tell her this.

Because you don’t want to believe it.

“Come on. Your life is an open book to me. No secrets, remember?”

Ronin couldn’t look at her. “He said that medical science was only now starting to understand the effects of repetitive brain trauma, and hopefully by the time some of those symptoms showed in me—because it was a given that they would—there’d be better drugs and medical options to treat it.”

“So you’re worried about long-term effects?”

“I wasn’t until he brought it up,” he said dryly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I hate the thought of you walking away from me now because of how I might be in the future. Jesus, Amery, I realize how goddamn selfish that sounds.”

Amery curled her hands around his face. “Let’s focus on the short term for now, okay? Just getting you through the next six months without you stepping into the ring or sneaking into underground clubs to prove you’re the biggest badass in town, okay?”

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Okay.”

“And if you’re worried that I’ll think you less than a man because you’re temporarily sidelined? Think again. You’ll always be more man than I can possibly handle.”

Ronin was stunned by the depth of her acceptance.

“I take it you haven’t mentioned your doctor’s suggestions to your instructors or your sister?”

“No.” A soft chuckle rumbled out. “I had this plan to continue to throw myself into Black and Blue Promotions, leave the training schedule as is, with me focusing on working with the lower-belt classes, thinking maybe no one would notice.”

“They’ll notice. Whether anyone would mention it is another matter. I won’t meddle in your business decisions, but when it comes to your health and happiness? I have a personal stake in it, and I expect full disclosure. Even if it scares you.”

Ronin wanted to turn the tables and demand full disclosure from her on whether they’d be permanently sharing living space during those six months.

“So now tell me the rest of it.”

“The rest of what?”

“What Naomi said last night. Her threats to you.”

“Psycho fucking broad wiped her red lipstick off on my shirt.”

“Shiori did see that much. She worried Naomi might’ve gotten violent with you.” Amery studied him for a beat and said, “But that isn’t what worries you—that I’ll find lipstick on your collar.”

“No. Evidently Naomi visited Twisted. She talked to the manager, and he mentioned I hadn’t done a rope demo in a while.” He watched her face carefully. “Naomi said if you weren’t willing to be my rope model at the club then she’d volunteer.”

Amery paled but rallied with, “What else did she say?”

“Baby, it’s not important.”

“Yes, it is. So tell me.”

Ronin jammed his hand through his hair. “She said your unwillingness to be publicly bound speaks of your shame and undermines my expertise. She reminded me of something I’d said to her on more than one occasion—that teachers don’t let students dictate the lessons.”

She paled further, if that were possible.

“Do you see why I didn’t want to tell you?” When he reached for her, she backed up.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t let her get inside your head either,” he said curtly. “What happens between us—”

“It sounds like what doesn’t happen between us is an issue.” Amery rounded the end of the counter and snagged her coffee cup. Then she walked to the windows at the far side of the dining room and stared out.

Was he supposed to go to her? Or leave her be?

How would you want her to act toward you in this situation?

He’d want her to give him some time to think. So he gave it to her.

Ronin had finished two cups of coffee by the time she wandered back into the kitchen. He waited for her to speak.

“Do you remember when you told me about being a rope master, you said that you are also a teacher? And part of who you are is teaching people who are interested in the art the right way to do things?”

He nodded.

“And regardless if I wanted to participate in your kinbaku or shibari demonstrations, you would be giving those demonstrations on another rope model?”

Yes—but that was before he’d fallen in love with her.

“Somehow, in the time we’ve spent together in the past few weeks, that issue hasn’t come up. Maybe I’d hoped it was out of sight, out of mind . . . but it’s never that simple. It’s also unfair to you if I refuse to be your model in a public venue.” Amery affixed her troubled gaze to his. “You know I’m fine with what we do when we’re alone together. I didn’t even blush too much when your sister made it clear she knew we wouldn’t be together if I weren’t into your ropes.”

“Did Shiori say anything else?”

“Just that you were a record holder and your mother and grandfather are aware of your rope skills.”

“But that is not common knowledge. So I figured my grandfather must’ve mentioned my . . . proclivities to Naomi’s family.” He paused. “You know how after you figure something out, you think, Why didn’t I see the signs? Naomi had no qualms about letting me bind her with rope, right away. That should’ve been my tip-off she’d been warned about my rope master status.”

Amery cocked her head thoughtfully. “Maybe her need for . . . more of the S and M side of BDSM should’ve clued you in that she wasn’t a stranger to bondage and sex clubs and that you didn’t somehow ‘turn’ her because she’d been in the lifestyle before she met you.”

Why hadn’t he considered that?

“I never asked if you went to Twisted when we were apart. Not that I’d hold it against you, but I have to know if you did.”

“Yes. I did bind someone else at the club. In a private room, not a public demo.”

She stared into her coffee cup. “Who?”

“A model I’ve used in the past.”

“What happened afterward?”

“You know that I don’t fuck rope models, Amery.”

“Except me,” she said softly.

“That’s not the same thing. After I tie you, I fuck you because we’re alone, because you want me to, because I want to absorb your bound beauty into me, and because I love you, goddammit.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re a teacher. You want to show off your skills and demonstrate the right way to use shibari and kinbaku. How long before you’re demanding that I get on board with it?”

Then Ronin was in front of her, gripping her upper arms and hauling her against his chest. His stomach churned seeing her tears. “I’m not demanding you accept that side of me without discussing compromise.”

“The compromise would be mine. You want me to be your rope model in private and in public.”

“I want you in my life. That’s all I care about right now. Don’t cry.” He kissed the corners of her eyes. “Please.”

“You have to let me go.”

He froze. She’d told him she loved him and now she asked him to let her go? No. Fucking. Way. “Amery—”

“Ronin, you’re hurting my arms. Let me go.”

He released her and gently rubbed on the red spots.

Amery burrowed into him. “I don’t want to deny your needs because you’d resent me. Living with that would be worse than being naked and dangling by a rope in a roomful of strangers. And it seems doubly cruel to say no to you when you’re already giving up a part of yourself by not fighting for the foreseeable future. I know that practicing kinbaku is a physical need for you as much as fighting is.”

Was demonstrating his rope skill really a physical need for him?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

Fuck.

Should he point out she’d overcome her aversion to being photographed and maybe she’d feel the same about being his rope model for demos?

Should he tell her that no matter if they were alone in his practice room or at the club in a room packed with people, all he’d ever see was her?

As much as it killed him to see her struggling, he had to let her decide her limits on her own. And he had to think about what compromises he’d make to keep her in his life.

“I just wish I had someone to talk to about this.”

“What about Molly?”

“It’d scar her. She blushed as red as your ropes when she saw the cover for Cherry’s book.”

“I thought she’d come out of her shell.”

“She has. But knowing her boss is your rope model might put her right back in it. It’s not something most people understand. I know I didn’t.”

“What about the author? She helped you come to an understanding about the lifestyle before.”

Amery regarded him. “She’s very straightforward. She’d tell me that my trepidation wasn’t wrong and I should listen to it.”

“Are you looking for someone to tell you something different from that?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to talk to someone who’s been in the situation.”

“Let me see what I can do. If I can think of anyone who can help you make an unbiased decision.”

“Thank you. Now I need to get to work.” Amery kissed him and disentangled from his arms. “Are you teaching tonight?”

“Depends. Are you working late?”

A strangely guarded look crossed her face.

“I don’t want Okada to be the elephant in the room.”

“It won’t be.”

Yeah, with Naomi running around in Denver doing god knows what and Amery’s concerns about bondage demos, her job with Okada was the least of their concerns—and wasn’t that ironic?

She bent over and picked up her purse; then she kissed his cheek. “I’ll keep in touch with you and let you know what’s going on.”

Her reaction was too dismissive for his taste. He crushed her to his chest. “Less than an hour ago, you told me for the first time that you loved me, so, baby, you don’t get to storm off without telling me that at least five more times. I’ve been waiting so damn long to hear it from you.”

He felt her smile against his chest. She opened her mouth over his heart and blew a hot breath through his shirt. “I love you, Ronin Black.”

Ronin tipped her head back to get at her mouth. He kissed her in the seductive way that turned her into putty, and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on her. “I need to be inside you.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

Amery didn’t protest until he lifted her to the back of the couch and quickly bound her arms behind her with her long leather purse strap. She broke the kiss with, “Seriously?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” he murmured against her throat as he inched her skirt up her luscious thighs and pulled her panties aside.

“I love it, so it seems silly that it always catches me off guard.” Somehow she hooked her toes underneath the waistband of his gi pants and dragged them down his legs.

“Damn, do I love that you’re so flexible.” Keeping one hand braced on her lower back, he used his other hand to align the head of his cock to the wet opening of her body. He pushed in slowly, savoring every inch of her pussy enveloping his shaft and every soft groan spilling from her lips as he filled her.

When he stayed buried in her to the root without moving, she rubbed her lips across his collarbone. “I love you. Show me how crazy it makes you when I say it over and over as you’re fucking me hard.”

And he did, secretly satisfied that by the time he finished, she’d said it a dozen times.

Not that he was counting or anything.