Virgin Earth

Wednesday, 24 January 1649

John spent Wednesday idling at the little house in the Minories with Frances. The court was not sitting.

“What are they doing then?” Frances asked. She was kneading dough at the kitchen table, John seated on a stool at a safe distance from the spreading circle of flour. Frances had learned her domestic skills from Hester, so she would always be a competent cook; but her style was more enthusiastic than accurate and Alexander occasionally had to send out for their dinner after a catastrophe in the bread oven or a burned-out pot.

“They’re hearing witnesses,” John said. “It’s to put the gloss of legality on it. Everyone knows he raised the standard at Nottingham. We hardly need witness accounts on oath.”

“They won’t call you?” she asked.

He shook his head. “They’re seeking the smallest of trifles. They’re calling the man who painted the standard pole. And for the battles they’re using the evidence of men who fought all the way through. I was there only at the very beginning, remember. I was there at Hull which everyone has forgotten now. I never saw proper fighting.”

“Are you sorry now?” she asked, with her stepmother’s directness. “Do you wish you had stayed by him?”

John shook his head. “I hate to see it come to this, but it was a bad road wherever it led,” he said honestly. “We would be in a far worse case today if he had succeeded, Frances. I do know that.”

“Because of the Papists?” she asked.

John hesitated. “Yes, I do think so. If he is not a Papist himself then the queen certainly is and half the court with her. The children – almost bound to be. So Prince Charles may be, and then his son after him, and then the door open again to the Pope and the priests and the monasteries and the convents and the whole burden of a faith that is ordered on you by your masters.”

“But you don’t even pray,” she reminded him.

John grinned. “Yes. And I like to not pray in my own way. I don’t want to not pray in a Papist way.” He broke off at her chuckle. “I have traveled too far and seen too much to believe in anything very readily. You know that. I have lived with people who prayed very faithfully to the Great Hare and I prayed alongside them and sometimes thought my prayers were answered. I can’t see only one way anymore. I always see a dozen ways.” He sighed. “It makes me uncomfortable with myself, it makes me a poor husband and father, and God knows it makes me a poor Christian and bad servant.”

Frances paused in her work and looked at him with love. “I don’t think you’re a bad father,” she said. “It’s as you say – you have seen too much to have one simple view and one simple belief. Nobody could have lived as you did, so far from your own people, and not come home feeling a little uneasy.”

“My father traveled farther and saw stranger sights but he loved his masters till the day of his death,” John said. “I never saw him have a single doubt.”

She shook her head. “Those were different times,” she said He went far as a traveler. But you lived with the people in Virginia. You ate their bread. Of course you see two ways to live. You have lived two ways. And in this country everything changed the moment the king took up arms against his people. Before then there were no choices to be made. Now you, and many others, see a dozen ways because there are a dozen ways. Your father had only one way: and that was to follow his master. Now you could follow the king, or follow Cromwell, or follow Parliament, or follow the army, or become a Leveler and call for a new earth for us all, or a Clubman and fight only to defend your own village, or turn your back on them all and emigrate, or shut the door of your garden and have nothing more to do with any of them.”

“And what would you do?” John asked, secretly rather impressed by his daughter’s political acumen.

“I don’t have to choose,” she said smugly with a sly little sideways smile. “That’s why I married Alexander.”

“And which side does he serve?”

She laughed outright. “He serves the master who pays the bills,” she said. “As do most people. You know that.”