Virgin Seduction

Chapter 13

On Friday, Cade phoned to say that he would be home early, perhaps even in time to have dinner with his wife.

When Leila heard this she felt first a great surge of joy. That was followed almost immediately by an equally powerful wave of anger. She had been experiencing this same roller coaster of emotions all week long, while her husband had been hundreds of miles away in a place called Odessa. She was, in fact, a cauldron of emotions, bewildering emotions. Loneliness and longing, frustration and fury were only the few she could name.

Over and over she thought, How could he do this to me? How can he be so cruel? To have opened the doors of Paradise to her, to have shown her such happiness, all that her heart had ever desired-and in the next moment to have snatched it away from her, slammed the door shut and trapped her once more in her lonely cage.

Yes…that was what it felt like. She was locked up in a cage. No! A coop, she thought, remembering what Cade had told her that night on the terrace. For the truth was she felt more "cooped up" here in Texas, with all its wide open spaces, than she ever had in the royal palace in Tamir.

Tamir. When she thought of the palace, with its clean white lines, with its gardens and courtyards and clifftop terraces overlooking the sea, and of her sisters, her mother, Salma and Nargis…and Papa, with his great comforting girth and snowy white beard, and eyes that always held a sparkle of affection for her…she was almost overcome with homesickness. And that was followed inevitably by anger.

I will not take this treatment much longer, she told herself, fortifying her faltering reserves of self-confidence with something she had always had in great abundance. Pride. After all, she reminded herself, I am a princess!

But then she remembered the feeling of power that had come to her there on the ranch, in the cactus patch and in Cade's arms. And an even more exhilarating, ennobling thought came to her: I am a woman. I deserve better. I deserve to be loved.

And she would tell Cade that, she had decided. This evening, after they had shared the dinner Betsy had prepared.

But for some reason, to Leila's dismay, Betsy decided on this particular Friday that she must leave work early. She had things to do, she and Rueben, and they must make a trip into town. Leila was not to worry, dinner was all prepared, all she would need to do was heat it up in the microwave. Betsy showed Leila the platter of beef kabobs-cubes of marinated beef skewered on sticks with chunks of onion and peppers and tomatoes, already grilled and arranged on a bed of fluffy rice that had been seasoned with broth and sweet red peppers. It was one of Cade's favorite dishes, Betsy said, guaranteed to put him in a good mood for the evening. And she had given Leila a wink. Then she had caught her up in a hug and had whispered, "Don't give up on him, honey. You just need to be patient."

Patient? Well, it was true that patience had never been one of Leila's greatest virtues. And as the time approached for Cade to arrive, she became more and more impatient and nervous. She paced in the kitchen, looking again and again at the digital clock on the stove. Was it time yet? Should she take out the food now? She had never prepared and served a meal for her husband before. Many times she went over the checklist in her mind-she had already arranged the dishes and silverware on the table in the dining room, just the way Betsy had taught her, and had even cut some roses from the bushes in the yard and arranged them in a crystal vase. There was iced tea chilling in a glass pitcher in the refrigerator, and Cade's favorite bourbon on a silver tray on the sideboard.

Everything was ready. But where was Cade?

He had told Betsy he would be home early, in time for dinner-but what did that mean? Six o'clock? Seven? And now it seemed to Leila that it was growing dark very rapidly. What if something had happened to him? An automobile accident, perhaps, driving home on those freeways with so many cars.

She paced and paced, growing more and more nervous. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She would at least get out the food. Put it in the microwave oven, so it would be ready at a moment's notice, the minute he came home…

Thunder rumbled in the deepening dusk outside as she opened the refrigerator and oh, so carefully slid the heavy, plastic-wrapped platter toward her. She picked it up in both hands and turned to bump the door closed with her hip.

From out of nowhere, it seemed, came a great boom of thunder. With all her concentration on the platter in her hands and her nerves honed to knife-points, Leila reacted to the sound as if she had been shot. She gave a startled cry and the platter dropped from her hands.

Her heart seemed to stop. Her world went silent. Encased in a bubble of shock, she stared down at the swath of rice and juices, chunks of meat and brightly colored vegetables scattered across the tile floor amidst sparkling icicle shards of glass.

No! her mind shrieked, refusing to believe what was before her own eyes. Refusing to believe such a disaster could have happened, and that she was responsible. No! This could not be her fault. She had never done such a thing before in her life.

This would not have happened if she had not been so nervous, so worried and upset. About Cade. Cade! Yes! This was all his fault.

With a howl of unprincesslike fury, Leila hurled herself across the kitchen, snatched open the door and plunged outside into the rain that had just that moment begun to fall.

Cade couldn't remember when he'd ever been so glad to be home. He couldn't believe, either, how much he was looking forward to seeing his wife. The nice buzz of anticipation he'd been nursing all day had intensified during the time he'd spent sitting in rain-and accident-snarled traffic on Houston's outbound freeways until now it was a throbbing weight in his belly and a smoldering fire in his groin.

He hadn't been able to get her out of his mind all week. Images, bits and pieces of the day and night they'd spent at the ranch, kept invading his conscious and unconscious thoughts, making a joke of his concentration during the day and total chaos of his nights.

The truth was, he'd done quite a lot of thinking about Leila and his marriage during those lonely nights in a barren motel room out there in the vast Texas midlands. And the conclusion he'd come to was that, since it looked like he was stuck in this marriage for the duration, he'd better find a way to make it work. He'd come back to Houston full of new vows and determination-to spend more time with his wife, for one thing. He thought-he hoped-if they did things together, if he got to know her better, maybe he'd find they had something in common after all. Maybe he'd even learn how to talk to her.

One thing for certain: he was tired of fighting his desire for her. Literally. Worn out. It was sapping his strength, physically, mentally and emotionally, and if he didn't do something about it, sooner or later it was going to start affecting his ability to run a business. Not to mention what it was doing to his disposition.

By the time Cade got home rain was coming down in buckets, so he parked his car right beside the back gate, the better to make a run for it. Conveniently for him, the gate was wide open. Surprising, too, since it was a poolyard gate and therefore supposed to be self-closing. The way it looked, the gate must have been thrown back with some pretty good force, so that the latch had caught on the fence, holding it open. Which was unusual, but not unheard of, and probably explainable because of the rain-somebody running for cover in a big hurry. He didn't begin to feel alarmed until he saw that the kitchen door was wide open, too.

Calling Leila's name, he went into the kitchen. His heart was already beginning to pound. He was so intent on looking for her that he almost stepped in the mess on the floor before he saw it. "What the hell-?" he muttered. Quickly skirting the disaster, he stuck his head into the hallway, calling more urgently now. And he was halfway up the stairs when the significance of the open door and thrown-back gate finally penetrated the alarm-clamor in his brain. Then he knew exactly where he'd find her.

Leila was in the center aisle of the stable. She was brushing the foal, Sari, while Suki, her mother, watched with anxiously pricked ears from a nearby stall. Leila was singing in Arabic as she usually did when she worked with horses, not in her usual soothing croon but in short, breathless whimpers that were not soothing to anyone. Least of all Leila.

When she heard the scrape of footsteps on concrete, she did not want to look. She wanted to go on calmly brushing Sari as though she had not a care in the world, but how could she, when every beat of her heart felt like a blow that rocked her whole body, when her hands could not hold the brush steady, but instead jerked and shook as if she had a violent chill.

Then, of course, she must turn to look. And she did not even think how melodramatic it looked-Cade, drenched and wild-eyed with his hair all on end, framed in the stable entrance while lightning flickered and flashed behind him like a scene from a horror movie. She was utterly lost in the storm of her own emotions. And what a bewildering mix of emotions! Relief, and longing…overwhelming love and unreasoning fury.

"Leila?" He came rapidly toward her, and his voice was hoarse with concern. "Hey, are you okay? What are you doing out here?"

"Your dinner is ruined." It seemed to Leila that her voice came from somewhere outside her own head. Half-forgotten in her nerveless hand, the brush traced an erratic zigzag across the foal's mottled charcoal back. "There was thunder…I dropped it on the floor."

"Yeah, I saw." He touched her arm gently, a tentative turning pressure. "Hey, look-it's okay. It doesn't mat-"

She whirled on him like a dervish. " Where…were…you?" Her fists thumped against his chest, her eyes spurted fire and tears together. "You said…you would be home early. And I waited and waited…and then it got dark…" The pressure of pent-up emotions had finally blown, and she could not have stopped herself if she'd tried. "And I thought…I did not know where you were!" She wasn't aware, nor did she care what she looked or sounded like, or whether she was acting like the classic shrewish wife. "And I thought…I thought… that you were…"

"I'm sorry-the traffic was…the rain…there were accidents." Cade mumbled, dazed. His brain was reeling. All he could think was that this felt a lot to him like the moment out there in the live oak grove when his horse had abruptly gone one way and he another. His emotions and desires were all of a sudden galloping off in unexpected directions, beyond his ability to control.

After a brief struggle he gave up trying. He got his arms around Leila's quaking body and caught her hard against him. Wrapped his hand in the humid tangle of her hair to hold her still, and kissed her.

What came next was a conflagration. It exploded upon them so unexpectedly and burned so voraciously it gave him no time to think at all.

When he first kissed her, Leila gasped in surprised outrage, then struggled against him-for all of two seconds-and the next thing he knew they were panting and whimpering and tearing off each other's clothes. He dimly remembered backing her into an empty stall…the deep cushioning straw coming up to meet him and his body already half-entwined with hers.

With almost a week's worth of pent-up desire clawing at his insides and fogging his brain, it didn't even occur to Cade that he might have pushed into her too abruptly, or too soon. Nor to Leila, either, not then. She gave a sharp cry, but it was of passion, not pain, and her body arched against him, not away. Her body was hot…so hot, feverish in his arms, and she wrapped herself around him like that all-over glove he remembered. And it felt good…so good to be inside her…as if, after a long and perilous journey, he'd finally found his way home.

A fierce, exultant joy invaded him as she met his thrusts with tiny passion-cries…when she gasped out his name as he released the flood of his passion into her. When she writhed and clung to him as he kept thrusting, until only moments later he felt her come apart…her body go light, limp and pulsing in his arms.

Exhilarated, happier than he could ever remember being in his life, quaking with it, wanting to share his shaky, wondering laughter with Leila's, Cade slipped sideways enough so he could touch her face. His joy turned to despair. Laughter hardened inside him and became instead a throbbing lump in his belly.

She was crying. Not the half sobbing, half laughing overflow of emotions that had bewildered and dismayed her so when he'd made love to her the first time-that he'd understood. This was different. This was misery. Grief-stricken, heartbroken despair.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" His voice was rasping and raw. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry-"

She shook her head wildly, and because there was no one else from whom to seek comfort, turned her face to his chest.

But what could he say to comfort her, when he didn't begin to understand the reason for her tears? So he said nothing at all, while his mind battered helplessly against the bars of his ignorance. Until, with a glimmering of hope, he thought of something that might, just possibly, make her feel better.

"Hey," he murmured to her still-quaking silence, gazing down through a fog of mystified tenderness at the damp tendrils of hair draped across her ear. "I didn't have a chance to tell you. Guess who called today?"

After only the briefest of pauses he gave her the answer. "Elena. And Hassan. They're back from their honeymoon. Just got back a couple days ago."

She pulled away from him just enough so she could look at him. "Really?" She sniffed. One long hand came, furtive and embarrassed, to wipe at her tears. "They are here? In Texas?"

Cade nodded. "Yep. They're going to be at Elena's ranch this weekend. How'd you like to pay 'em a visit?" His throat ached as he smiled.

She gave a little gasp and sat up, both her tears and her nakedness forgotten. "A visit? Elena has a ranch? I did not know. Is it very far? Will we fly?"

"A little one…and not far at all, just outside of Evangeline. An hour's drive from here. How's tomorrow sound?"

"Tomorrow? Oh, yes-oh, Cade…" She kissed him, and her face, still wet with tears and alight with happiness, was like the sun coming out after a rainstorm.

Cade's heart was in dark despair. Just as when she'd kissed him after he'd given her the foal for her bride gift, his thoughts now were bleak. It's gratitude. She's only happy because I've given her something she wants. And it's not me.

Elena came out to greet them, waving from the wide front porch of a house that, although it was made of white painted wood rather than brownish stone, reminded Leila of Cade's ranch house where she had been so briefly and blissfully happy. Reminded her of it so much, she had to swallow hard and blink away tears.

Cade had barely parked the SUV before Leila was out of the car and running up the graveled path. She met Elena on the steps. "Oh, I am so glad to see you," she breathed impulsively as she returned the other woman's hug. And now she did lose control of a few tears. Elena seemed very like a sister to her now, which made her miss her own sisters all the more.

She drew back, though, when she saw Hassan's tall form, standing just behind Elena. She did not know how to greet this relaxed and smiling man who seemed so different from her so-arrogant older brother, who had always lorded it over her and tried to intimidate her with his piercing black eyes. "Hello, Hassan," she said formally, and was even more bemused when he stepped forward and caught her up in a hug as warm as his wife's had been, and laughed and called her "Little sister." In Arabic. Hassan almost never spoke in Arabic!

Then Elena was hooking an arm around hers and saying in a happy rush, in her Texas way, "We're just so glad you guys came-we're barely unpacked ourselves, but we just decided to say the heck with it and come out here for a few days. We'll have some lunch in a little bit, but right now, I just can't wait to show you around."

"But…shouldn't we-" Leila looked toward the men, who had shaken hands and now were deep in conversation and drifting off across the porch in the direction of what looked like stables.

Elena waved them away with a smile. "Ah, let 'em go-they'll just want to talk horses and oil. What I'm dying to hear about is you guys. I still can't believe it-talk about sudden! I wish Hassan and I could have stayed for the wedding. So…tell me all about it. How was the wedding? Did you have a honeymoon?" She paused to consider her own question. "Probably not, if I know Cade. Well-we're going to have to do something about that."

"Cade has been very busy with his work," Leila said carefully, and Elena gave her a piercing look that made her glad she had decided to wear sunglasses to hide the tear-shadows around her eyes.

Leila summoned a smile as she tried to divert Elena's attention. "It seems as though you and Hassan are very happy."

Elena closed her eyes and smiled in a way that made Leila's heart ache with envy. "Oh, yeah. I can't tell you. Actually, if you want to know the truth, it's even kind of surprised me." She threw Leila a bemused look. "Not that I had any doubts that we loved each other-finally-but I thought it was going to be a lot harder to make it work."

"Work?" Frowning behind the sunglasses, Leila paused to look at her.

Elena gave a rueful laugh. "Oh, yeah-marriage takes work, don't ever kid yourself about that." Her laughter grew light again. "Especially when you have two people as different and bullheaded as Hassan and I are."

"At least…you know your husband loves you." Leila hardly knew she had spoken it out loud. They had been walking as they talked, past the stables and up a gentle slope covered with grass and the same little yellow flowers that grew in Cade's pasture. Now, standing on a hilltop overlooking still more hills that rolled away to banks of trees and a huge hazy sky beyond, she thought of her dreamed-of spaces and was almost overwhelmed with misery. She hardly even knew Elena had put her arm around her shoulders until she spoke.

"Oh, honey, of course Cade loves you!"

"No," said Leila with a proud lift of her chin, "he does not."

"Look," said Elena flatly, "I know him. He wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you."

Leila firmly shook her head. "He only married me to save me from disgrace."

Elena gave a hoot of laughter, which she quickly stifled when she saw the tears leaking out from under the edges of Leila's sunglasses. She gave her another hug and said with an exasperated sigh, "Okay, hon, tell me why you think that husband of yours doesn't love you."

"He does not act as though he does." Leila's voice was choked and angry. "And he certainly has not ever said so." She was startled and a little hurt when Elena made a very rude noise in reply.

The older woman shook back her short, dark hair and looked up at the sky for a moment as if in hopes of divine guidance. Then she put her arm around Leila's shoulders again. "Let me tell you something about your husband," she said quietly, as she began to walk with her back down the hill. "Cade Gallagher is just about the sweetest, most good-hearted man alive, and the best friend a woman could ever have. But the truth is, when it comes to emotional issues, he's pretty closed up. That's why he's never gotten married, I think-he never could find a woman he trusted enough to open himself up to. He wasn't always that way, I don't think. I think it happened when his mother died-he told you about that, I guess? It was a car accident-a hit-and-run driver ran her car off the road into the river, and she drowned."

Leila tried in vain to stifle a horrified cry, and Elena glanced at her in sympathy. "Yeah, I know…terrible, isn't it? They never did find the one who did it…" Her voice trailed off, and Leila saw a grim and bleak look settle briefly over her features. Then she went on, in a voice that was harder and more clipped than before.

"It happened about a year after his mom got involved with my father. He'd have been…fifteen, I think-I know I was only about eight when I first met him. But I remember he had this wonderful, absolutely spectacular smile-it would light up his eyes, I swear, brighter than the lone star of Texas."

And Leila caught her breath and looked intently at her. Yes, she thought, her heart quicking. I have seen it too, that smile! Just once…

"Anyway, after his mom died," Elena continued softly, "I never saw that smile again." Her lips curved, but not with a smile. "And I don't think it helped that a few years later he found out my father, the man who'd adopted him after his mom died and treated him like his own son, had actually cheated him out of his inheritance."

Leila gave another horrified gasp. "Oh, yeah, it's true," said Elena. "I only found out myself recently- Cade told me just before I married Hassan." She took a breath. "It was a shock, believe me. His mom had left a will naming Yusuf Rahman as Cade's guardian, as well as trustee of her estate, which at that time was what was left of her daddy's oil company after Cade's dad had pissed away most of it. When Cade turned twenty-one, he found out my father had worked it so there wasn't anything left of his mother's holdings at all. Everything had been absorbed into Rahman Oil."

She stopped walking to look back at Leila, who was standing still with her fingers pressed against her mouth. "So you can see," she said gently, "why the man might be a little bit slow to trust anybody with his heart, even after all this time."

"But," Leila whispered through trembling lips, "what can I do? I do not know how to make him open himself up to me." The task seemed too hard, the obstacles enormous…insurmountable. She felt overwhelmed, defeated before she had even begun.

"For starters, have you tried telling him how you feel about him?" Elena's voice was dry, as if she already knew the answer.

"Of course not," said Leila, drawing herself up stiffly. "And I will not-not until I know for certain that he has the same feelings for me." She was a princess. She had her pride!

Elena made an exasperated sound. "You Kamals! You're all alike-the most bullheaded, proud bunch of people I ever met." They walked on down the hill in silence. Until…

"I think…I have an idea."

Leila looked at Elena in hope, and was surprised to find that she was smiling…smiling and gazing down the hill toward the stables, where Cade and Hassan could be seen leaning against the corral fence, still deep in conversation. She turned back to Leila, and her eyes were once again serene. "Hon, what you need to do is take a little trip. How'd you feel about a nice visit to Tamir? You know-go home and see your folks?"

"Leave…Cade?" Leila's heart gave a leap, and she felt a cold wash of panic. "But-I don't understand. How-"

"Hey," said Elena with a placid shrug, "it worked for me."

"You mean, you left-"

She shook her head, and her smile was a little crooked, now. "Uh-uh. Hassan left me. I'd refused to marry him-I guess I was afraid I didn't love him enough… then. So off he went, back to Tamir. It took me...oh, maybe a day to figure out I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. So I went after him. The rest," she added with a sound like a cat's purr, "is history."

"But," Leila mumbled, "what if I go to Tamir, and Cade does not come for me?" Her heart was hammering. If Cade did not come for her, she knew she could not possibly come back here, not to live as she had been living for these past weeks. And yet, the thought of never seeing Cade again…never feeling his arms around her…frightened her so she could scarcely breathe.

"Oh, he'll come," said Elena. "Trust me."

"But…I cannot possibly ask him-"

"Hey-don't worry about it. You just leave this to me."

Cade leaned against the corral fence and watched them come toward him…two women, one he'd known nearly all his life, as familiar as the grass around him, the other as alien and exotic as an orchid blooming in the desert. Both beautiful, but for one he felt nothing but the deep, abiding affection of a brother for his sister, while the other made his pulses thunder like a buffalo stampede. Why did it have to be the wrong one? He felt betrayed, somehow. Doublecrossed by his own heart.

"Hey, guys," Elena called out when they were near enough. And Cade watched with a pang of envy as she came with the ease of certainty to kiss her husband, while his own wife hesitated and hung back, unsure what she should do. "Catching up on the latest gossip?" Elena teased, an arm around her husband's waist.

Cade squinted at her and shook his head, while Hassan said loftily, "Men do not gossip."

"Right." Elena laughed. "No, I mean, from Tamir. Hey, what did you guys think about Nadia?"

"Nadia?" Leila was alert and tense. "What about my sister? I spoke to her only last week. Is she all right?"

"She's getting married," said Elena. "Can you believe it? The fourth wedding in the Kamal family this year." She nudged Hassan. "I guess that just leaves Samira, huh?" Then she looked with concern at Leila, who had her fingertips pressed to her mouth and a stricken look on her face. "What, aren't you happy about it?"

Leila cleared her throat and said faintly, "Then…she will marry Butrus after all?" Elena nodded, and Hassan said gruffly, "With our father's blessing."

"But," said Leila, "she does not love him. She told me so." Her cheeks were pink, and Cade could see that, at her sides, her hands were clenched into fists. "She cannot do this-she must not. Oh, if only I could talk to her!" Her voice was tight with distress.

"Why don't you?" Elena asked, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"I have. But on the phone it is not-"

"No, I mean, go to Tamir." Elena looked at Cade.

A great stillness seemed to fold itself around him. Leila seemed not to be breathing. He looked at her and she averted her face quickly, but not quickly enough. Even with her sunglasses she couldn't hide the light of hope, a flash of joy so keen and pure, he was sure he'd felt it pierce his heart.

"Sure, why not?" Elena went on, enthusiastic…oblivious. "Go for a visit. It's not like you can't afford to send her, Cade. Leila should be with her sister at a time like this."

Cade cleared his throat. His heart lay in his stomach like a dead weight-and how well he remembered that feeling. "What about it?" he asked Leila, keeping his voice carefully neutral. "Would you like to go to Tamir? Visit your folks?"

She lifted her head and looked at him a long, suspenseful time, while he stared at his own reflection in her glasses and wished with all his heart that he could see her eyes. Except for the briefest tremble in her mouth, then a tightening, her face was utterly still. For the first time in his memory, he couldn't read her emotions there.

Then she drew a lifting breath and smiled. "Yes-oh, yes," she said softly. "I would like it very much."

"Well, there you go," said Elena with a shrug. And she and Hassan exchanged a secret look.

"Well, okay," Cade said, squinting as he met the radiance of his wife's smile, "I guess you're going to Tamir. How soon do you want to leave?"

"Is…tomorrow too soon?" Oddly she sounded as if she was one good breath away from bursting into tears.

"Tomorrow it is." And on a hot and sunny May day in Texas, Cade felt cold clear through.

That evening, Cade went into the bedroom where Leila was packing her suitcases. "All set," he said on an exhalation. "Plane leaves here at two. You're gonna have a little bit of a stopover in Atlanta, but not too bad. You're nonstop to Athens…arrive there Monday morning, local time. Then it's just a short hop from there to Tamir."

"Thank you." Her voice sounded muffled as she watched her hands…watched them methodically smoothing filmy cloth. Her hair had fallen over her shoulder, hiding her face from him. He resisted the urge to pull it out of the way.

"Need any help?"

"Thank you, but no. I am nearly finished." She straightened and tossed her hair back over her shoulder, though she still didn't look at him. A frown pleated her forehead. "I do not think I will need to take much with me…so many of my clothes are still in Tamir."

Maybe he should have found reassurance in that. Instead, he felt a sudden surge of anger that was mysteriously mixed with grief. Childishly, he wanted to shout at her. What kind of a woman are you? How can you go away and leave me like this? Selfishly, he wanted to plead with her. Please don't go. Forget your sister-I need you!

What he couldn't understand was why. It had been his idea to send her back to Tamir from the first. So why this gnawing fear that, once she was there with her own family, she wasn't ever going to come back to Texas?

She was trying to fold over the top of the suitcase to zip it closed. "Here-let me get that," he said roughly, needing some activity, an outlet for his emotions. And reaching heedlessly across her, brushed her breast with his arm.

He went absolutely, deathly still. Except for the lifting of each breath, so did she. Then, slowly, slowly, he turned toward her. She turned, too, and tipped back her head to look at him. It went on so long, that look, and in such tension and stillness…it reminded him of something.

Then it came to him-that evening on the terrace. And the memory was so vivid, so immediate, it seemed to him he could hear the pounding of the surf on the rocks below the cliff…until he realized it was only the beating of his own heart. He remembered the way she'd looked at him so intently, and what she'd said to him next…

"Do you want to kiss me?"

He didn't know he'd said it aloud until he saw the flash of recognition in her eyes, and heard her say in a small, tentative voice, in a much more delightful French accent than his had ever been, "Kees you? Oh, oui, Monsieur…"

He didn't even realize, then, the significance of that moment, that mutual, instant understanding, the acknowledgment of a history of shared intimacy, the first of countless moments like it that would form a bond to last a lifetime. He only knew that he was terrified. My God, he thought as he slowly lowered his mouth to hers, I can't let her go! I love her.

How can I leave him? Leila thought as she opened herself to her husband's embrace. I love him so...If only, she thought, he would ask me to stay…tell me not to go. Then I would know he loves me…

But he didn't say anything at all, though his kiss was so deep and poignant it made her ache in every part of her being, and it would have been easy to believe he meant it as love. Leila was not so naive.

No, Elena was right. She must go to Tamir. If her husband loved her, he would come for her and bring her home. And if he does not?Her heart trembled, then plummeted inside her, and she clung to him in desperate, unreasoning fear. He must come for me. He must.

But how to ensure that, and yet preserve her pride? Trying without words to let him know the love and longing that was inside her, she gave him her body with a kind of desperate tenderness, worshipped his with such unreserved devotion…and hoped that he would somehow hear and know what was in her heart.

Dazed by the intensity of her lovemaking, shaken by the intensity of his feelings for her, Cade buried his face in the fragrant fall of his wife's hair. For the last time? He held her closer and shuddered with fear.

On Monday afternoon, Cade called Elena from his office in Houston. "Well," he said, "I hope you're satisfied."

She responded with a little trill of laughter. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"Leila's gone," he said morosely. "She called a little while ago to tell me she made it home okay. Sounded happy to be back with her folks." He paused, took a deep breath and tried to make it sound as if he didn't care. "I don't think she wants to come back… any time soon." He added the last part only to keep from sounding too melodramatic.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you, Cade." She made an exasperated sound. And after a pause, "What do you intend to do about it?"

He snorted right back at her. "What can I do? I sure as hell can't seem to make her happy here."

"Oh, for-that is just so like a man!" There was a pause, and then, bluntly, "Cade, do you love her?" And before he could answer, "Don't you know, it doesn't take any more than that to make a woman happy? If she loves you…"

"Well," said Cade with gravel in his throat, "that's the question, isn't it?"

There was another, longer pause, while he swallowed hard a couple of times. Then Elena's voice came softly. "You can't stay closed off from your emotions forever, Cade."

He righted his chair with an angry thump. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Come on-you've been shut down ever since your mom died-and…what my father did to you."

"That's ridiculous. I have emotions."

"I'll bet you do. But you sure don't like to show 'em."

"How does that make me different from almost any other man you know?"

"It doesn't," she admitted, "but most men trust somebody enough to let their feelings show. I know Hassan trusts me. Do you think because of what happened with your mom and my father, that you're afraid-"

"Cut the crap, Elena. That's just psychobabble bull-"

"Cade, can I ask you something?" Her voice was different, now. Hesitant…almost fearful. He waited, half-resentful, saying nothing, and after a moment she came out with it. "Do you think…has it ever crossed your mind, since all this has come out about my father…Rahman…about him killing my mother, and…all that…that he might have been the one responsible for your mom's accident?"

He couldn't answer, just stared at the Houston haze through his office window. His pulse tapped nervously at his belt buckle.

"It must have occurred to you, Cade. You were supposed to be in that car, too, remember? If you hadn't talked your mom into dropping you at your friend David's house on the way home…"

"What do you want me to say," he said harshly. "What's the point? The man's dead. Can't very well kill him twice."

"No," said Elena quietly, "but you can sure as hell kill your marriage if you don't find a way to come to terms with this. You have to find a way to trust, Cade. Trust yourself to love. Trust somebody to love you and not let you down."

"Psychobabble crap," Cade muttered.

"Maybe it is." He heard tears in her voice. "Maybe I just want everybody to be as happy as I am." And damned if she didn't hang up on him.

That evening, Cade was in the stable checking out a new foal with Rueben when Betsy came down with the bottle she'd prepared. She handed it to her husband, then stood back, planted her hands on her hips and glared at Cade.

"Okay," she said, "when are you leaving?"

"What?" He had his arms full of a balky colt just then, and couldn't look at her. "Leaving for where?" "Tamir-whatever the name of that place is. When are you gonna go get Leila and bring her back?" Cade snorted. After his conversation with Elena, he was feeling about as cooperative as that foal. "I guess she'll come back when she's ready."

"Uh-uh," said Betsy, "you got to go get her." She glared at him and folded her arms across the shelf of her bosom. "How else is she gonna know you want her to come back? You ever tell her?" She gave a snort of monumental exasperation. "I bet you never even told her you love her, did you?"

He let go of the foal, who was finally beginning to get the idea there was something good for him in that rubber nipple. "She never told me that."

Betsy threw up her arms. "She's a woman. You expect her to tell you first?" Cade didn't say anything. He looked over at the foal, who was nursing greedily, now. "I packed your suitcase already," Betsy said.

Cade looked at Rueben, who lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I think you better go get your wife," was all he said.

Alima was having breakfast with Leila on the east terrace, though she had eaten only a few bits of fruit and some tea. It was difficult to swallow when her throat was aching so…when her mother's heart was breaking for her youngest child.

"I do not understand why she will not listen," Leila was saying stormily. "Nadia thinks she knows so much, because she is older, but she does not. She does not know what it is like to be in a marriage without love. She does not know what she is doing!"

"But," Alima gently reminded her, "that must be Nadia's decision, must it not? Your sister must make her own choice." She paused, then placed her hand over Leila's, which was restlessly tearing an orange peel into tiny pieces. "My dearest one, why does it trouble you so much? What is really bothering you? Are you…so very unhappy in America?"

Leila's hands jerked, then went still. Then, all in a rush, she raised them to cover her face…and a sob. "Oh, Mummy, I do not know what I should do. I believe Cade is a good man-I do. And I want to be a good wife to him. But I have been so lonely-and I do not understand him at all." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I do not even know whether or not he loves me."

"Leila," her mother began, fighting anger against the man who had made her precious one so unhappy, "you must not give up on your marriage…" A movement caught her eye, drew it across the tiled terrace to where a tall figure stood framed in the arched portal that led to the gardens. A little breeze blew in through the portal, bringing with it the scent of roses.

Alima took in a breath of it…and smiled. "My daughter," she said softly, without taking her eyes from that tall figure, "if you truly love your husband, you must never give up on him. Tell me the truth… do you love this man, Cade Gallagher?"

Cade stopped breathing while he waited for her answer. It seemed an age…an eternity before Leila slowly drew her hands away from her face, revealing its radiance…and desolation.

"Oh, yes…I do. I love him. I did not believe it was possible to love someone so much. So much… sometimes… it hurts… inside." She placed her fist over her heart, and he felt himself moving toward her, though he had no sense of his feet touching the ground. "And then I am so frightened…and I do not know how I will survive it if I am never to see him-"

Leila felt a hand touch her shoulder, a hand that shook.

"Why would you think you'd never see me again?" said a voice-a voice as ragged and torn as the bits of orange peel on the table in front of her.

She stared at the bits of orange, not moving…not breathing. Her mother smiled at her, lifted her eyes and murmured an Arabic blessing, then rose from her chair and quietly left her.

I am a princess… I am a princess… Shaking like a blossom in the rain and clinging to the shards of her pride, Leila drew herself together. "What," she demanded breathlessly, lifting her head but without turning around, "are you doing here?"

Cade's heart gave an odd little quiver…of laughter, of tenderness and pride. Well, hell, she's a princess, he reminded himself. He tightened his hand on her shoulder, and felt his voice grow deeper and even more gruff. "Thought you might have forgotten where you live. Or that there's a lonesome little filly who needs you. Thought I'd better come and bring you home."

"Why?" she asked, hurling her question at him in defiance, like an obstinate child.

Bravely, Leila lifted her chin still higher and looked into his face. Did he hear me? she wondered, quaking inside. Oh, he must have heard me say I love him. She had never felt so vulnerable, not even lying naked in his arms. Oh, please, let him say it to we now. If he does not, I do not know what-

"What do you mean, why?" Fear made Cade's voice harsh. He'd never felt more vulnerable in his life, not even when his mother died. How could he expose himself so? He hadn't the courage…

She's a woman. You expect her to tell you first? And all at once he felt himself relax. His heart grew warm…and light filled all his insides.

"Why do you think?" Cade's voice had lost its roughness. It was tender…tender as a caress. "Because…1 love you, Princess." She caught her breath, but he wasn't finished. "I love you!" he said. And again: "I love you!"

Then she saw it. At last, the smile she had carried so long in her memory…the smile she had longed for… the smile that lit his face and eyes with purest joy.

And she knew that it was true.