Wait Until Midnight

SIXTEEN

Accompanying Adam on this journey by night was far and away the most exciting thing she had ever done in her life, Caroline thought. A strange, feverish anticipation was building within her. Where was he taking her? What did he intend to show her?

But she did not ask any questions. She sensed that what he planned to reveal was extremely important and meaningful to him. He needed to go about the matter in his own way.

She pulled her wrap more tightly around her shoulders and looked out the carriage windows at the fog-shrouded streets. They were traveling into a less prosperous neighborhood. The gas lamps were spaced farther apart on these narrow streets. There were fewer lights in the windows and far less traffic. The dark entrances of the alleys were ominous enough to send small chills down her spine.

They passed a tavern. Through the grimy windows she could see men dressed in rough working clothes and a handful of women in shabby gowns. They sat at tables drinking from tankards and gin glasses.

"Do not be alarmed," Adam said, watching her face. "This is a poor neighborhood, but I know it well. You are in no danger."

"I am not afraid." Not so long as I am with you, she added silently.

The carriage turned a corner and went down a gloomy lane. A woman in a faded gown lounged in the light of a gas lamp. When she spotted the vehicle, she lowered her shawl to reveal her bare breasts and called out in a drunken, rasping voice, "I'll show you some fine sport 'ere, sir. The price is a bargain for what I'm offering" Then she scowled. "What's this? I see ye've already found some entertainment for the evening. Well, maybe next time. I'll be here, sir. Look for me. My name is Nan."

"I feel so sorry for that woman," Caroline whispered. "You are not shocked?^" Adam asked.

"I am aware that very little stands between a female with no resources and a miserable existence on the streets."

"You are right, of course" Adam reached into the pocket of his coat, withdrew a small packet and tossed it out the window with a casual, practiced motion of his hand. The prostitute hurried forward, seized the package and ripped it open.

"Thank ye, kind sir," she shouted as the carriage rolled past. "Ye're a generous man, ye are" She kissed the packet, whirled around and hurried away into the night.

Caroline knew from the manner in which the money had been wrapped and weighted that Adam had performed the same action on prior occasions.

"There was another woman under that lamp the last time I came this way," he said. "She had a bad cough. I wonder if she survived"

"Did you give her money, too?" Caroline asked.

"Yes. And directions to a charity house that would have provided her with a bed and a warm meal. But I expect she spent the money on opium or gin and dice, just as Nan will no doubt do tonight."

"You know this but you give the women money anyway?"

`Some of them have children to feed." His face was harsh in the shadows. ^"Sometimes it is the children I see waiting under the lamps."

She could feel his quiet anger swirling in the darkness around them.

The carriage turned another corner and halted in the middle of the street. Caroline looked out and saw an unlit doorway.

^"Come," Adam said.

He climbed down and reached back to assist Caroline. "We will be a while, Ned," he said. "Go and get something warm to drink from the tavern at the top of the street.

I'll whistle when we're ready to depart."

"Aye, sir." Ned touched his cap.

Adam guided Caroline to the dark vestibule. There he removed a key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

They entered a small hall. Adam lit a small lamp. Carrying it in one hand, he took Caroline's arm and started up a flight of narrow steps.

"There is no one living here at the moment," he said. "I own the building and have scheduled some renovations."

She was more intrigued than ever. "What do you intend to do with it?"

"I have plans." He did not elaborate.

When they reached the landing, he drew her down the hall and stopped in front of a closed door. He took out an-other key.

Without a word, he unlocked the door and stood back to allow her to move past him into a dark, low-ceilinged room.

She entered slowly, keenly aware of the heavy weight of significance that imbued the atmosphere. This small, shabby room was very important to Adam.

The single window was covered with a simple curtain made of canvas. The furnishings were minimal. She saw a cot and a table. The floor was bare. There were no personal items of any kind lying about the place but the room was clean and well-dusted. A fire had been laid on the hearth.

Adam followed her across the threshold, closed the door and set the lamp on the table. He turned to look at her.

"This was where I lived until the beginning of my eighteenth year," he said.

He watched her with that enigmatic calm that was so characteristic of him but she sensed the powerful emotions simmering under the surface.

"You were not born into wealth?^" she asked, feeling her way.

He looked wryly amused. "My mother worked in a milliner's shop. She married my father when she was eighteen. He was a clerk in a shipping company. He was killed in an accident on the docks two years after I was born. Mother was left with nothing except his ring and his books. She pawned the ring to pay the rent and buy food but she kept the books"

The terse summary was given in an emotionless tone, as though Adam were recounting some rather boring bits of ancient history.

^"Your poor mother must have been quite desperate," she said quietly.

"Yes. She spent all day at the shop. At night she taught me to read and write using the handful of books that my father had left us"

She clasped her hands in front of her. "She was obviously a woman of great courage and determination."

"Yes, she was" His expression grew even more detached and distant. "She died of a fever when I was eleven."

"Adam, I'm so sorry. What did you do? How did you survive?"

"My mother had taught me to read and write, but I had also received another sort of education growing up on the streets in this neighborhood. It had begun to come in handy before Mother died. It kept me fed and paid the rent after she was gone."

"How did you make a living?"

"I bought and sold other people's secrets," he said simply. "I don't understand"

^"Remember Maud Gatley? The opium addict whose diary I am trying to recover?"

"Yes, of course."

He angled his chin toward the door. "She was a prostitute who lived across the hall. She frequently brought her clients upstairs to her room. Occasionally some of her customers whispered their secrets to her and she, in turn, told them to me."

`And you found a market for them?" she asked, incredulous.

His smile was cold. "There is a vast and lucrative market for secrets, especially when those secrets belong to gentlemen from the better social circles."

"I hadn't realized that."

"Maud was very beautiful in those days and she had not yet fallen completely under the spell of the drug. She counted a number of men of the Quality among her clientele. It was my job to find buyers for the gossip and rumors she picked up in the course of her work. We split the profits. The arrangement worked well for both of us for some time."

A rush of wonder swept through her. "Yours is an amazing story."

He raised one brow. "I am glad you find it intriguing. But I warn you, if a single word of it appears in one of your novels, I will be very displeased."

She gave him her most demure look. "I would, of course, change the names"

"A change of names would not be nearly enough to placate me," he warned.

"I was only teasing, Adam, as I'm sure you are well aware. Tell me the rest of the tale."

"Over the course of the next few years I acquired two sisters and a brother"

"How does one acquire siblings?^" she asked.

"It varies. Sometimes one finds an orphan who is about to be auctioned off in a brothel that caters to gentlemen who prefer virgin girls under the age of twelve"

"Dear heaven"

"Sometimes one finds a girl abandoned at the age of three next to a pile of trash and sweepings."

"Adam, are you telling me—"

"Sometimes one finds a boy who, at the age of four, has been set out beneath a streetlamp to beg but whose parent never came back for him."

"You took them all in to live with you," she whispered. "I do not know what to say. I am quite stunned"

He shrugged. "I was making good money on the streets in those days. I could afford to feed a few extra mouths. It made for company in the evenings."

"Did you teach them to read and write as your mother had taught you?"

"There wasn't much else to do at night," he said.

She waved one hand to indicate the spare little room. "How did the four of you escape this place?"

"The situation changed in the middle of my seventeenth year. I came into possession of a particularly valuable secret. It involved a large-scale financial swindle that affected a number of high-ranking investors. I sold the information to a new client, a wealthy, widowed gentleman. He used it to prevent himself and several associates from losing a great deal of money"

"Go on," she said, fascinated.

Instead of answering immediately, he straightened away from the wall, unfolded his arms and crossed the room to the fireplace. Going down on one knee, he struck a light and ignited the kindling.

He watched the small blaze take hold for a moment or two. She got the impression that he was reviewing scenes from the past and deciding which ones to reveal.

"The wealthy gentleman had lost his wife and children to a terrible fever several years previously," he said finally. "The gentleman was very rich but quite alone in the world. After the two of us had done some business together over the course of several months, he went so far as to offer me a position as a sort of unofficial man-of-business."

"You were only seventeen years of age. What sort of tasks did you perform for him?"

"As I told you, my mentor was very fond of secrets of all kinds and I had a talent for collecting them. I got them not just from Maud but from others who were in a position to learn them." Adam rose slowly. "Tavern keepers, chambermaids, footmen, hairdressers, washerwomen, men who work on the docks. The list of people who are in a position to provide useful information about others is endless."

"I see." She sank down onto the edge of the cot.

"My client's attitude toward me became almost paternal. He not only gave me a fine position, he offered to let me live in his great house. I told him that I could not leave my brother and sisters." Adam shook his head reminiscently. "So Wilson took us all in to live with him."

"It sounds as if you and your siblings filled up a portion of the empty space in his heart that had no doubt been created by the loss of his own family."

"He said something very much like that to me once a few years ago. It was his idea to claim us all as long-lost relatives. It was a bold scheme. I told him it would never work. But he had the power to put it into effect. He hired tutors, dancing instructors and a long list of experts to give us all a proper education and put a polish on us. In the end he made us the heirs to his fortune"

"What a fascinating series of startling incidents," she exclaimed.

"Perhaps it sounds that way in the telling, but I assure you, it did not feel that way while we were living through those incidents."

"No, of course not," she said gently: "So much sadness and loss. So much uncertainty and danger. Believe me, sir, I comprehend very well that your life does not feel like a work of fiction to you. I am honored by your confidence. I will not betray it."

He watched her very steadily. "If I had not believed that I could trust you, I would never have told you about my past."

"I think I can guess what is in that diary that you are trying to recover. It is the truth about your past and the pasts of your brother and sisters, correct?"

"Yes. Maud knew the facts. She evidently wrote them down in her journal. Elizabeth Delmont read that journal and tried to use the information to blackmail me"

"No wonder you wish to recover that diary."

"Wilson assures me that our family is sufficiently powerful to be able to deal with any scandal that may erupt. He is right. But I fear it will not be as simple as he believes. Julia is the Countess of Southwood. She has her husband to protect her. But Jessica is on the verge of making her debut into the Polite World. Who knows what kind of gossip she would face if it got out that she had been found in a heap of trash?"

"Scandal is always hard to handle. It would be especially difficult for a young woman who is facing all of the pressures that must come with moving into elevated social circles."

"As for Nathan, he is drawn to the world of academic writing and study. In order to pursue his interests he will find it necessary to join certain exclusive scholarly societies. I suspect he will not be readily accepted into them if it is discovered that he was once put out to beg on the streets."

"Naturally you wish to protect your brother and sisters. I am lost in admiration of your noble nature and determination to protect your family."

His mouth curved ruefully. "It is certainly true that I am determined to shield my family as much as possible, but there is nothing noble about my intention. It is my responsibility to protect them."

She nodded. "Of course you would see it that way."

"You are the one who commands my admiration, Caroline"

She was taken aback by the seriousness of his tone.

"Forgive me, but I was under the impression that you did not think highly of the manner in which I make my living." He ignored that. "You have survived a great deal of loss and many difficulties yet you have triumphed resoundingly^" "I could not have done it alone," she said quietly. "If I had not had Aunt Emma and Aunt Milly, my life would have taken an entirely different turn, I assure you."

"Just as mine would have done had it not been for Wilson Grendon. But that does not lessen your own accomplishments. You have overcome a great scandal, and you have people who love you and to whom you are loyal. You have used your creativity and intelligence to craft an interesting career for yourself. All of those things add up to a great triumph, Caroline.^"

She did not know what to say. She could feel herself turning warm. No man had ever complimented her in such a touching, sincere manner. She knew that he meant every word.

And yet, she thought wistfully, those were not quite the sentiments that she wanted to hear from him.

"Very kind of you to say so," she managed in her most formal tones.

"You asked me why I brought you here tonight.^" He walked toward her. "I told myself that it was because I had more or less coerced you into revealing some of your own secrets and that it was only right to reciprocate. But that is not the whole of it"

The atmosphere in the room changed in some indefinable way, becoming more intimate and close. A deep sense of knowing swept through her, bringing her to her feet. Something important was happening between them, she realized.

When he reached her, he raised both hands and cradled her face between them.

"The truth is that I wanted you to know that I am not the man you believed me to be that first day when I descended on you in your study and tried to intimidate you into giving me information."

"I see." She could not think of anything else to say. She was so aware of the heat and power in his hands that she could scarcely draw breath, let alone form coherent sentences.

"I realize that I may strike you as merely another selfish, arrogant member of the privileged class. And I will admit that these days I move in those circles. But I was not born into them, Caroline. I wear the right clothes, belong to the right clubs and do business with the right people, but deep down, I will always be an outsider. I know that, even if those with whom I associate do not"

She lifted her hands and clasped his wrists. "I under-stand."

"I brought you here because I wanted you to comprehend that I do know what it is like to struggle and fight very hard to survive. Indeed, I have done things to achieve those goals that would shock you to the core of your soul."

"I cannot believe that."

"Believe it," he said harshly. "I will not burden you with those secrets. But what I want you to understand tonight is that I have not forgotten the lessons I learned while I lived in this room. I will never forget them. They are part of who and what I have become"

She sighed. "You may be arrogant. You are certainly strong-willed, even stubborn on occasion. But I am well aware that you are not one of those men who would take advantage of a woman, use her for your own selfish purposes and then call down shame and scandal upon her head when you have finished with her."

He tightened his hands very gently, tipping her head back a little. "Can I gather from that statement that you no longer believe that I am a threat to you and your aunts?"

"You would not destroy the three of us on a whim or a mere suspicion. I know now that you are a man who will settle only for the truth."

She felt some of the fierce tension in him ease. He stroked one thumb along the under edge of her lower lip.

"Thank you for that much," he whispered roughly. "Out of curiosity, what was it that made you conclude that I could be trusted?"

She wrinkled her nose. "If you must know, my intuition told me as much right from the start of this business, even though you gave me a false name. Logic and common sense held me back, of course"

"Of course," he agreed.

"There were others to be considered besides myself," she reminded him.

"Emma and Milly."

"Precisely. This evening, however, I feared that in your anger toward Mrs. Toller you might take the risk of trying to expose her prematurely. I did not want to be responsible for jeopardizing your investigation."

"So you told me one of your secrets"

"Yes."

"And now I have told you a few of mine." His gaze softened and heated like green glass in a furnace. "But there is another secret that I would confide in you tonight" Anticipation sparkled and shivered through her. "What is that?"

He stroked the bones of her cheeks with his thumbs. "Although the fact that you are not a widow makes this situation extremely inconvenient, I am very glad to know that you are not mourning a lost love that you hope is waiting for you with open arms on the Other Side"

"Why does that matter so much to you?"

"Because I want to kiss you again more than I have wanted to do anything in my life and I did not relish competing with a ghost."

"Oh, yes. Yes, please."

He took her mouth with a fierce hunger that swamped her senses. She would have crumpled beneath the delicious onslaught had he not held her tightly against his chest.

The kiss burned through her, hot and intoxicating. But she was beyond all caution.

`Adam, she whispered, when he briefly freed her mouth.

"So passionate and so lovely." He kissed one of her brows and moved his hands intimately down her spine.

She put her arms around his neck and brushed her mouth tentatively against his, testing his reaction.

The delicate caress seemed to electrify him. He groaned and kissed her back, his mouth hard and urgent now.

A moment later she felt his fingers on the fastenings at the front of her gown. The stiffened bodice, which did double duty as a light corset, opened slowly like a suit of armor being severed down the centerline.

"I do not know how women tolerate these modern fashions," he said hoarsely. "Wearing a dress like this must be akin to walking around in a small, tight cage"

"But it feels so good when the cage is removed: she said earnestly. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she was mortified. "Oh, dear, that did not come out quite as I had intended."

He gave a sensual, husky laugh and kissed her lightly. "Explanations are unnecessary. I think I understand"

"Perhaps it would be easier if I finished this for you?"

"Absolutely not. I forbid it." He resumed his work on the hooks of her gown. "Undressing you is like unwrap-ping an elaborately wrapped gift. Never underestimate the pleasure of anticipation."

She clenched her fingers in the front of his linen shirt.

When he had opened the gown to a point just below her breasts, he paused again and rested his forehead against hers. "Damn. I don't believe this"

Her heart sank. Was he disappointed in what he had uncovered thus far? "Is something wrong?"

"Yes." He raised his head and looked down at her with a rueful expression. "My hands are shaking so badly it is all I can do to manage these hooks."

"Really?" She was entranced by the knowledge that she had such an effect on him.

"I intended to sweep you away on a romantic cloud of passion and pleasure. Instead, I feel like a great, clumsy oaf"

The confession emboldened her as nothing else could have done in that moment.

"Perhaps it would make things easier if I assisted you in this process: she suggested once more.

With trembling fingers she began to unknot his tie. Adam's mouth crooked and his eyes gleamed in the lamp-light. "Yes," he said, "I think that will help considerably.^"

In a matter of moments she was left standing only in her chemise, stockings and drawers. Her heavy gown lay in a frothy heap on the wooden floor. Adam's tie, waistcoat and white linen shirt lay next to them. He stood before her, clad only in his trousers.

The firelight gleamed on his sleekly muscled body. Fascinated, she traced the strong contours of his chest with her fingertips.

"You are as magnificent as a statue of an ancient god," she whispered.

He uttered a half-choked laugh. "I trust you find me somewhat warmer and a bit younger."

"Much warmer and much younger. Perfect, in fact" She wanted to bask in the heat from his body.

"Ah, my sweet. You go to my head."

It had been difficult to undress Adam, owing to the fact that she had never before attempted to rid a man of his clothes. She had stopped after she had gotten his shirt off because she did not possess quite enough nerve to tackle the buttons of his trousers. Fortunately, he did not seem to find her hesitation odd.

He picked her up and settled her carefully on the cot. Then he straightened and freed himself from his remaining clothes with a few swift, impatient motions.

She was transfixed.

She reminded herself that unlike the carefully sheltered ladies of the city, she had been raised in the country. She was, therefore, not unfamiliar with the sight of male animals in this state. In addition, Emma and Milly had always been extremely modem in their notions of what was appropriate to a young lady's education. All in all, she ought to have had a fair notion of what to expect from this first en-counter with a man. Nonetheless, she was astonished.

Adam hesitated at the side of the bed, his face shadowed in the flickering light. "Is something wrong?"

"No" She reached up and caught his hand in hers, squeezing tightly. "Nothing is wrong."

He lowered himself down onto the cot very carefully and pulled her into his arms. One by one, he took the pins from her hair. She trembled when she heard them click on the floorboards beside the bed.

"I did not plan on this tonight,^" he whispered, kissing her throat. "I brought you here on impulse and as a result, I have one great regret."

She held her breath. "If you have changed your mind—"

"Never." His fingers tightened in her hair. "I am consumed by my desire for you. I could not turn aside now if my life depended on it. No, my regret is that I did not take you to more elegant surroundings. You deserve better than this barren room."

She relaxed and touched his face. "This room is perfect, Adam. Everything tonight is perfect"

He put one hand on her stocking-clad leg. When he stroked her inner thigh, the world as she had always known it was forever changed. The intimacy of his touch was al-most unbearably exciting.

It was as if she had been walking through a garden all of her life, turned a corner around a high hedge and suddenly found herself in an exotic, tropical jungle.

"You are so beautiful." He undid the buttons of her chemise and kissed the curve of her breast.

She was not beautiful, she thought. But tonight he made her feel as though she were the direct descendent of Cleopatra, Helen of Troy and Venus.

When he took one nipple between his teeth, waterfalls of sensations crashed through her. A wild, fiery tension

built deep inside her. The weight of Adam's leg anchoring her thigh to the bed was an exquisite pressure.

When his fingers found her secrets through the open seam of her drawers, she almost screamed. Shock and astonished pleasure played havoc with her breath and pulse. Nothing she had ever experienced felt quite like the touch of Adam's hand on the most delicate portion of her anatomy.

"You are already damp and ready for me," he whispered into her ear.

She was vaguely embarrassed that he had noticed the wet heat between her legs but she could not retreat from his touch. She wanted more of whatever he was doing to her.

And then somehow he had undone the tapes that se-cured the drawers. He moved on top of her and kissed the place between her breasts. Her head fell back across his arm. She felt tight and hot and desperate.

"Please," she whispered, urgently curving one leg around his muscular thigh.

He shifted his position slightly. She felt pressure. "Yes," she said. "It feels so good."

"Caroline."

He drove himself into her in a single, searing thrust. Be careful what you wish for, she thought.

She had been expecting something of the sort, but the pain still came as a shock because a few seconds ago she had been glorying in the most amazing pleasure.

"What on earth?" She jerked violently and shoved instinctively at his shoulders. "Wait. Stop. I believe there is something wrong."

Adam froze.

She tried to gingerly ease away from him. "Forgive me. This is my fault. I didn't realize, you see. I mean, I thought I did but clearly I didn't."

"Caroline, stop moving, I beg you."

"Would you mind very much getting off of me?"

He groaned. She could see sweat on his brow. His jaw clenched as though he was in agony. His eyes were half-closed. With an obvious effort of determined will, he began to ease himself out of her body.

The sensation was not unpleasant.

"Wait," she ordered. She clamped her hands on his back, holding him still. "Maybe that won't be necessary." "Caroline, you are going to drive me mad"

"Actually, it does not feel quite so uncomfortable now." She wriggled again and got a satisfactory feeling in return. "Perhaps if you continued very slowly?

"Very slowly?" He rested his weight on his elbows and imprisoned her face with his hands. Every muscle in his body seemed to be sculpted of steel. His eyes were those of a man who is fast approaching some inner limit. But his mouth curved slightly in a sensual smile that could have set fire to the entire city. "Like this, do you mean?"

He began to move again. Slowly.

Her body relaxed. He reached down and did something to her with his fingers. Everything inside her clenched as tight as a fist. But not in resistance this time; rather in a frantic, demanding manner.

"Yes," she whispered. "Oh, yes, just like that?

"Draw up your knees, my sweet," he whispered. She obeyed. The exciting sensations intensified.

"Ah, Caroline," he said against her mouth. "I am well and truly lost."

Before she could ask him what he meant by the strange words, he began to move more quickly.

The delicious friction tightened her insides until she could no longer tolerate the intense sensation. She convulsed.

The release sent her flying into the night.

Adam gave a muffled groan and went rigid.

At the last possible instant, he pulled free of her body and collapsed beside her, spending himself into the bedding.