Warrior's Moon

Chapter 6

Shona blinked slowly.

Perhaps it was she who had lost her grasp on reality, but when she opened her eyes again, the wolf still stood there.

She backed toward the wall, fear mixed with disbelief making her stomach roil. When her shoulders encountered the hard ungiving barrier, she whimpered.

The wolf whined, tilting his head to one side as if trying to tell her she had nothing to worry about.

“Caelis?” she asked in a voice that trembled. And then immediately began to berate herself for doing so. “No, he is not a wolf. He cannot be. My eyes are deceiving me.”

The wolf stalked across the room, crowding close to her.

Her entire body shook with the terror and confusion gripping her. “No, stay away.”

The wolf stopped, letting out a short bark that sounded so much like Caelis when he was exasperated with her, she gasped.

“Caelis?” she asked again.

The wolf’s head nodded up and down.

“But how? This is not possible.” She knew it was not.

No matter how her eyes deceived her, men did not transform themselves into wolves.

A more practical woman than most, Shona did not believe in faeries, or magic, or any such. How could she accept the evidence of her eyes?

The wolf moved closer, sniffing the air, a happy-sounding rumble coming from his chest.

“Don’t…don’t come any closer.”

The wolf whined again, moving back and then forward again, as if it could not help itself.

“What?” she demanded. “What do you want?”

He took a step closer and she remembered how the stable master had told her to behave with the dogs on her dead husband’s estates.

Shona put her hand out, her arm trembling.

The wolf stretched forward, first sniffing at her hand and then licking it.

“Oh.” It was not so terrible, though it was strange to have a wild animal that could tear her apart with its claws and teeth so gently caressing her hand with its snout.

The beast came closer so that she was crowded against the wall and pressed its body to her.

She stared down at him. “I am not going anywhere. You do not need to sit on me.”

But the animal ignored her words, rubbing against her with its sides, nuzzling at her with its snout.

“You’re very affectionate, aren’t you?” she asked, not remembering the estate dogs being quite so friendly.

Then she remembered this wolf was supposed to be Caelis and she had another reason altogether to resent his nearness.

“Caelis, if that is indeed you in there, you must step back.”

He barked his denial and she had no doubts that was exactly what it had been, either, climbing her so his forepaws rested on her shoulders and he could rub her neck with his snout.

She giggled, the sound shocking her as much as the sensation of being tickled.

He licked her again, growling against her throat in a way that should have frightened her, but it did not.

One thing was certain, while she still feared Caelis the man because of his power to harm her and destroy her happiness, she did not fear his wolf.

At all.

“You are very sweet like this.”

The wolf chuffed, as if he found her sentiment immensely funny and she found herself smiling at him.

The light flashed and then Caelis the man was again there, naked and far too close. “Your smile is still as beautiful and bright as the sun.”

That very same smile slid from her face more rapidly than water going over the falls into her favorite loch.

A small scream escaped her throat, but she pressed her hand over her mouth to keep other sounds inside. She could not afford to alert her friends or her children to her distress.

Caelis had turned into a wolf. Might well do so again. While she’d never doubted her own security, others might not be safe around him. Especially Thomas.

She shoved him from her. “Get away.”

At first, he did not move, but she shoved again. Harder.

He stumbled back a step. “You are frightened of the wolf.”

“No. I don’t want your naked body so near,” she stated without apology.

He didn’t fight her, moving back quickly, his expression unreadable. But the intensity of his regard was unsettling.

She hugged herself. “You need to put your plaid back on.”

He laughed, the sound harsh, almost bitter, and he turned away. Not to get his clothing, but to drop to the floor.

He knelt there for several seconds, breathing deeply.

“Did it hurt you?” she asked in a halting voice. “Changing into a wolf?”

“Do not speak,” he rasped out.

She closed her mouth, once again not understanding. Why couldn’t she speak?

“My control over my wolf is precarious,” he answered as if she had spoken aloud.

“Is it always like this after you shift between forms?” she asked and then regretted doing so when an animalistic sound came from his mouth. Did the wolf wish to return to his animal form?

Mayhap he did not like living as a man.

Caelis’s muscles corded with some great effort. “No. But I have not claimed my true mate in six years and she stands alluringly before me in a bedchamber. What do you think my wolf wants to do?”

This was about sex? “Control yourself, like you didn’t six years ago,” she answered immediately and with some bite.

He leapt to his feet, his naked body turning to face her all in one smooth movement.

There was ample evidence that he was indeed very aroused. Whether it was by her or by shifting, or would have happened with any woman in a similar circumstance, she could not know.

“You think I did not control myself six years ago?” he demanded, his expression stark, his tone feral.

“No,” she replied starkly and then added, “Had you, I would not have become pregnant.”

“And do you regret that? Can you regret our son?”

“Of course not.” And how unfair of him to ask. Caelis had not been the one to live with the consequences of pregnancy outside of wedlock. “I love my children with my whole heart, but having our son the way I did came with great cost, not the least of which was the regard of my parents for the rest of their lives.”

“They were angry with you?”

“Do not jest. You know full well how furious they would have been. They were disappointed in me and disgusted by the shame I had brought on our family name. My mother called me a whore and never forgave me. My father, either, though he was less vocal in his criticisms.”

Horror washed over Caelis’s features, though whatever he was feeling had no apparent effect on his arousal. “They loved you so much.”

“And that made my betrayal of them that much greater.”

“You did not betray them.”

“I did. You know well a woman is to save her innocence for the marriage bed.”

“It doesn’t always happen.”

“Nay, but you were not there to make it right, were you? You and your laird had judged me and found me wanting as a mate for the beast, is that it?”

“Not me.”

“Just the laird, but you went along.”

“I did. To my own shame.”

“You do not know what shame is until you have had your husband treat you like a dockside whore on your wedding night.”

Caelis looked sick. “I am sorry.”

Three little words. They shouldn’t have mattered, and in the great expanse of life probably didn’t, but in that moment they healed wounds still bleeding in her heart.

“I am sorry I left you, but I cannot be sorry I claimed you. I wanted you from the moment your body showed itself to be fully a woman. I waited a full year to make you mine.” And then he’d let her go.

Did he expect her to cheer his supposed restraint? “You should have waited forever since you had no intention of marrying me after.”

“It was not my intentions that were at fault.”

She might begin to believe that. Might. “Merely your dedication to keeping your vows to me,” she mocked.

“Do not provoke me.” He growled, the sound just like a wolf.

“Or what? You’ll lose control?” Heavens above, what was she doing? Did she want to see his beast come out?

Mayhap, she did.

“Yes,” he ground out, stalking closer, his once again fully tumescent sex testimony to the veracity of his passions at least.

Though again she had to remind herself there was nothing to say that he would not physically desire any woman after shifting from his wolf form. It was a very primitive action and there was nothing more primal than sex.

He towered above her, the beast in his eyes so clear she wondered how she’d ever been able to miss it. “My wolf would claim you, mo toilichte.”

“Your wolf and you are the same, are you not?” It had certainly seemed so when the beast stood before her.

The wolf had shown the understanding of a man.

“We are.”

“Then you want to claim me.”

“Aye.” He closed his eyes, his head tilted back, his tone so guttural it was barely more than a whisper. “I crave you as no other.”

“Me? Or any woman’s form?”

His head jerked down, blue eyes snapping open and filled with rage-fueled desire. The sound that came from his throat was not human. He had not liked that question at all. It was as if she was casting aspersions on some intrinsic element to his nature, or maybe even something deeper.

“You. My sacred mate. I have told you, I can have no other. Six years…” His neck muscles corded, he let his words trail off.

Had he said that, or merely claimed he had not had comfort in all that time? “What do you mean?”

“As Faol—a wolf shifter. I mean—once I have had sex with my sacred mate, I cannot do so with another.”

“Explain the cannot.”

Something seemed to snap inside him and he grabbed her hand, pressing it to his hard flesh.

Her fingers curled around the erection of their own volition, squeezing before she was even aware of what she was doing.

He groaned, the sound both pained and filled with ecstasy. “This does not happen.”

“This?” she asked as she squeezed again, this time quite deliberately.

“Yes. I become aroused for none but my true mate. Six years…” he said again, his voice pained. Caelis’s eyes slid shut again, his head tipping back. “Only you, Shona.”

The urge to touch him in ways that would push that pleasure over the cliff grew with each second she held that velvet-soft hardness in her hand.

She should release him, push him away. Her brain insisted on it. But once again, instinct was taking over reason and her body refused to obey the dictates of her brain.

“I am your sacred mate?” she asked, trying to understand what that really meant.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He cupped each side of her neck, his thumbs rubbing the underside of her chin and leaned down so their foreheads touched. “Only Providence knows, but the sacred bond is a gift few among the Chrechte find.”

“Then how could you throw me away?”

“I was convinced of a lie.” She could not deny the pain in his voice.

But she could not let it dictate her responses either. “You let yourself believe a lie,” she corrected.

The sound he made was one of an animal in pain. “Aye.”

She nodded, their foreheads brushing. She’d needed to hear him admit it. Even if he did not take full responsibility for their separation, Caelis needed to acknowledge his role in it.

She would never forget.

“Believing your laird’s claim…” She would not call that man her laird. “That I was not the one, you were willing to push me away on the hope you had a sacred mate.”

“No. Maybe.” He lifted her head so their gazes met, so close she could see herself in his pupils. “I expected him to realize his error.”

“You believed I was your sacred mate?” she asked.

“No, but I didn’t think I would find mine. Uven made it clear that even if I could not, he expected me to catch another wolf with child. I hoped he would change his mind about that.”

“Or maybe you thought you could get another woman pregnant and leave her?” Shona asked, her own pain too close to the surface.

“No. If you believe nothing else about me, believe that I would not have let you go had I allowed myself to accept the possibility of a child. And there was no other woman I would have given my seed to. Chrechte or human.”

Could she accept his words as truth?

No deception shadowed his blue eyes made dark by the candlelight; but then, she’d seen no deception there six years before either.

“You want to believe.”

She could not deny it.

“Then believe,” he said, his tone cajoling and demanding at once.

Desire that had nothing to do with the words between them coursed through her, heating her blood as even he had never done before. ’Twas as if the six years apart had only increased her body’s need for him.

It should have been the opposite. After so long, even residual passion’s spark should have gone out.

But the flame burning inside her was hotter than the sun and demanded to be assuaged.

“You want me,” he said, his tone laced with wonder and undeniable joy.

“I—”

“Do not deny it.” He sniffed the air, another feral noise sounding from deep in his throat. “I can smell it. I can taste it on the air.”

“Your wolf senses…” Suddenly her son’s enhanced abilities made sense. “Eadan—”

“Is like me, though he will not shift for the first time until he is of age.”

“No. I would know if my son was more than human.” Though memory after memory flashed through her mind, reminding her of oddities she’d dismissed over and over again.

Simply because what they pointed to had made absolutely no sense.

Her son shared his nature with a wolf.

“How? When you knew nothing of our existence?”

“He is my son.”

“And mine.”

What would have happened if her son had shifted without Shona or him being aware of werewolves? “The dreams.”

They had prepared her son when no parent had been around to do so.

“Told him of his true nature, yes.”

“It’s incomprehensible.”

“Is it truly?”

After she’d witnessed Caelis’s transformation? No, but this was her son. “He’ll be stronger.”

“And faster.”

“Safer.”

“Aye.” Though he’d met his fair share of humans among both the Balmoral and Sinclair clans that were strong enough.

“This thing between us, it’s because of our son.” It had to be.

Otherwise, how could she want Caelis so much? They had not even kissed.

“Nay. Rather, he exists because of the bond between us.”

A bond that was like a living thing. It was as if Caelis’s naked body drew hers with inexorable power she could not deny.

Mesmerized by the sight of his sex hard for her and pulsing with power, once again her hand moved without thought. Her fingers slid against the hardened flesh they were curled around. The tender skin warmed her own, evoking memories much more pleasant than those found in her marriage bed.

“It hurt to have my husband touch me, every caress making my skin crawl and burn most unpleasantly. Was that because I am your mate?” She looked up, wanting to see the truth in his eyes.

Caelis met the look, his expression far too pleased for the words she’d spoken. “I do not know. We had no human-wolf pairings in the clan, and I know little of Abigail and Talorc’s mating.”

She yanked her hand from him, moving away and staring at Caelis in shock. “The Sinclair laird is a shape-changer like you?”

“He is.”

“And Abigail…” Caelis’s words played over again in her head. “She is human, like me?”

“Yes. Their children are the first evidence I have seen to prove that humans and wolves could be sacred mates.”

“Eadan is further proof?”

“He is all the proof between us.”

She nodded, accepting that at least as truth. “There is much I still do not understand.”

He put his big warm hands against her face, peering down at her with such hunger, there could be no question that whatever beset her body affected his as well. “Later, I will answer every question.”

“I—”

“Please, Shona, mo toilichte. Give me this gift and I will never allow you to regret it again.”

The words were so similar to the ones he’d spoken six years ago that she nearly let a bitter laugh tumble from her lips.

The hunger for his touch was stronger now though. She’d thought it near impossible to resist back then. And ultimately, she’d given in to it.

In this moment though? She had no hope to deny the potent need controlling her.

It should be easy now. She no longer loved him. He was not the center of her world, as he’d been to her younger self. To deny him should have been the simplest of things, but Shona did not find it so.

Everything inside her wanted to give herself to this man, though he’d proven himself unworthy of the gift. It had to be part of being mated to a Chrechte.

Would her own body betray her because of it?

The answer seemed to be yes as she swayed toward the giant warrior who shared his nature with a beast.

Caelis’s head dipped and his lips pressed reverently to hers. Despite the undeniable hunger raging between them, the caress of his mouth was gentle. Not tentative, but not demanding, either.

The sensation was both so familiar and so far removed from what Shona knew in her present life that she found herself incapable of responding to the kiss in any way. She did not open her lips to give him entrance to her mouth, nor did she repudiate him.

Paralyzed by conflicting emotions, she allowed him to kiss her, his own passions and desires fully in evidence. They called to her, insisting she acknowledge them as well as her own physical need.

He pulled her close, wrapping her in his strong embrace and lifting so their mouths might align more easily.

She remembered how he used to do this, compensating for the great difference in their heights. The way he made her feel both safe and cosseted as he used his strength to protect her and increase her enjoyment of their moments together.

Her husband had never made any accommodations for Shona, though his sexual needs had not been overly onerous. Just very unpleasant.

Henry had not treated her with the tender care or even respect Caelis had. She’d learned to be grateful for the sporadic sexual appetites of an old man.

Caelis growled and broke the kiss. “You will think only of me.”

She did not question how he’d known she was thinking of Henry. It did not matter. She had no more desire to dwell on her life in England with the baron than to return to do Percival’s bidding.

“Make me.” If the order came out sounding more like a plea, neither she nor Caelis remarked on it.

With another primitive, animalistic sound, he kissed her again, this time unquestioningly demanding entrance to her mouth with his tongue. She gave it, letting him wash away unhappy memories and revive good ones.

He tasted like he’d had at least one draught of usquebagh before taking up his sentry duty outside her door. Mixed with his own natural flavor, ’twas a heady combination.

The kiss fulfilled one hunger while fueling another. The craving that had beset her so deeply to have his touch became less acute, though it did not disappear, while the need to have him inside her grew.

Caelis’s hand roamed over her body, pulling at her dress as if the English clothing annoyed him.

She helped him undress her, her instincts and desires in full control now.

At the first touch of his hand on her naked flesh, she cried out with the satisfaction of a long abandoned need. Her body had craved him the entire time they had been apart, though she only now realized it. She was certain she would have continued to do so until the end of her days, even if she had never seen him again.

No other man’s touch would have satisfied, or even come close to pleasing her.

At least now, she understood why. He’d done this to her with the wolf mating thing.

Hands that had once known her body better than any other, learned her anew, big fingers so gentle the caresses brought tears of emotion to her eyes.

And not sadness.

Only he could do this to her. And she let him. They tumbled to the bed, her body trembling with the need to be claimed by his, his strong warrior’s muscles tense with the need to claim.

They touched one another as lovers who had never parted, with sure hands and knowing caresses meant to evoke further passions. He teased her nipples, sending pleasure throughout her body, making her ache and writhe even while her own fingers caressed bulging muscles and traced battle scars.

Her heart cried out in possession, mine, with each pass of her hand over his body. She neither denied nor acknowledged that heart’s cry, but made no effort to hold back on her desire to touch either.

Neither did she try to stop him when his hand delved between her legs to touch her intimately, pushing the pleasure to a higher, almost unbearable level.

But when she spread her thighs for him, he did not enter her.

Instead, Caelis arranged their bodies so that when he pressed down with his pelvis, his shaft rubbed between her swollen folds, his manhood trapped between their bodies so penetration could not occur. This position also ensured that the hard flesh rubbed back and forth over the sweet spot so filled with pleasure for her.

She arched upward, uncontrollable sounds of pleasure spilling from her.

His kisses grew voracious, his movements hard and demanding. Ecstasy spiraled tighter and tighter until it exploded with starbursts inside her.

He climaxed, too, his shout muffled against her lips, his seed marking her stomach with his primordial scent.

She did not know how, but she sensed that his wolf was very happy with that achievement.

The contented growl that sounded in his chest as he reached down to lazily rub the creamy substance into her skin indicated that the beast was indeed pleased.

“I cannot believe I let you do that,” she said with more honesty than anger.

“It was inevitable.”

Perhaps, if all his claims were true, it had been. Shona didn’t feel particularly comforted by that fact, but neither did she feel as if she had betrayed herself completely.

It was a sign of her constant inner conflict with this man that it seemed as if for every thought or feeling she had, an opposite one rose up to meet it.