D ear P hilip,
Due to your continued refusal to see to your own arrangements, I am writing to inform you that your damn wedding has been planned. Precisely whom you will be marrying has not yet been determined, but rest assured, the nuptials will take place in London on September first, and unlike the last damn wedding I arranged for you three years ago, I expect you to show up this time. Indeed, I demand it. While you’ve been traipsing about Egyptian sand dunes in search of rusty relics, my health has fallen into a decline. According to Doctor Gibbens I have less than a year left, and I’ll see you married and assuming your proper place in Society, perhaps even with an heir on the way, before I cock up my toes.
As you no longer have the luxury of time to engage in a lengthy courtship, I have hired a matchmaker to find you a suitable wife. Unfortunately, given the scandal that ensued when you failed to appear for your last damn wedding, Miss Chilton-Grizedale faces a daunting challenge. However, she is a formidable negotiator and has promised to find a chit who will make you an admirable viscountess. With Miss Chilton-Grizedale overseeing the wedding arrangements down to the last detail, all you need to do is show up. Make damn certain you do.
With regards,
Your father