Wicked and Dangerous

ONE

DRIPPING WITH SWEAT AS HE TOOK A LATE NIGHT RUN ON THE moonlit beach, Scott Ryder had a strange feeling burning through his veins, twisting its way into his bones. One that didn’t have anything to do with his grueling pace or the miles of sand he’d already covered.

The feeling had been building inside him for weeks now, making him restless, leaving him in a generally shitty mood. He’d tried to shake it, but he couldn’t. Damn thing just kept growing, pissing him off even more. People were starting to go out of their way to avoid him at the station, which was just as well, seeing as how he hadn’t been in the mood for conversation. But tonight he’d been forced to attend the retirement party for one of the other deputies in the sheriff’s department, and his nerves were still scraped raw. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Dwight Jones. Dwight was an all right guy who was looking forward to spending his days either out on the golf course or on his new fishing boat and he wished him luck. But Ryder’s boss, Ben Hudson, had been at the party with his new wife, and for some unknown reason the sight of them had set his teeth on edge.

He didn’t want the sheriff’s wife for himself. Reese was more than easy on the eyes and had a killer smile, but Ben had staked his claim the moment she hit town at the beginning of the summer, so she and Ryder were friends and nothing more. But the way Ben kept looking at her during the party, as if marriage made him the luckiest bastard in the world, had made Ryder want to put his fucking fist through a wall.

He knew damn well that his reaction didn’t make any sense. Christ, he wanted Ben and Reese to be happy. After everything they’d been through, they deserved it. He just couldn’t stomach being near all that cozy, romantic bliss. Not when this itch in his veins wouldn’t let off, his instincts constantly twitching, as if he were missing something important and needed to open his damn eyes so he could figure out what it was. He’d had the same kind of feeling before, when he’d worked black ops, and it’d saved his ass too many times to count. But he’d left that life behind. He no longer had to live in constant survival mode. There was no danger here. No one gunning for his life or the people he cared about. Which meant he needed to calm the hell down and learn to relax.

Heading into the last half mile of his run, Ryder repeated a familiar phrase in his mind. His personal mantra now that he’d settled down in the cozy little town of Moss Beach.

Nothing to run from . . .

Nothing to run to . . .

There was a peace and perfection in those simple words. They meant freedom. A new beginning. A new life.

Unfortunately, they were nothing but lies. Because while he might not have anything to run to, he was sure as hell still running from something. He might have decided to stay put in this scenic little beach town on Florida’s Gulf Coast, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fighting an internal battle every damn day of his life. He’d physically stopped, but his mind was still running at top speed, doing everything it could to forget about—

Shit. Don’t even go there, he muttered to himself. And that thought was swiftly followed by a guttural Christ, I need a drink.

He spent a lot of time these days telling himself what he needed to fix his head. A drink, a woman, or women when he couldn’t be bothered to choose which one he wanted to take home for the night. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to develop a reputation in town as the lawman who could screw his way through hoards of party girls without ever losing his breath. At the age of thirty-three, it wasn’t a distinction to be proud of. It just meant that while all the other guys were getting on with their lives, he was still acting like an idiot who thought with his prick. Or one who would only touch a woman if she let him tie her—No, damn it. He wasn’t going there tonight either. In his current mood, those thoughts wouldn’t lead him to any place good.

Hitting the five-mile marker, Ryder finally slowed to a walk and pulled off his damp T-shirt, using it to wipe the sweat from his face. He headed across the sand toward the beachfront duplex he rented from an elderly couple who had retired there after living in New York for the past forty years. The house was designed with an entrance to each half at the sides of the duplex, bougainvillea-covered trellises creating two pathways that sheltered the entrances from the street, with matching archways in the back that you could walk through if coming up from the beach. The profusion of flowers was a little fanciful for Ryder’s taste, but his sister had gushed about them when she came for a visit last month, claiming the trellises gave the house “Southern charm.”

Wondering if he’d finally be able to chill enough tonight that he could sleep, Ryder had nearly reached his front door when he sensed a slight movement to his left, in the shadows of the trellis, and he reacted before he’d even given conscious thought to the possible threat. That’s what over a decade of black ops training could do to you, and despite being out of the game for a few years now, his reflexes were as lightning quick as ever. Dropping his shirt, he reached into the shadows, snagged a feminine arm, and yanked the woman into the moonlight, the shrill scream on her lips quickly shifting to an outraged snarl as she brought her other arm around to strike him across the face. He quickly blocked the move, catching her wrist and pinning both arms behind her back, while she flailed in his hold, kicking at his shins with her sandal-covered feet.

“Who are you?” he growled, quickly assessing that she wasn’t a physical threat. Her hair covered her face as she struggled to free herself from his embrace. But despite her efforts, there wasn’t a chance in hell she could break free. He knew how to counteract every one of her defensive moves, which only infuriated her more.

Narrowing his eyes, Ryder carried out a quick visual check on the female. She had her head down so he still couldn’t see her face—but what he could see of her made his mouth go dry. Waves of silky strawberry blond hair. Her miniskirt and short-sleeved, button-down shirt revealed creamy skin and a body that was slight but deliciously feminine. So familiar it was almost too good to be true. She had the right shade of hair. The right frame. The right shape. The right fucking everything, ripped right out of his goddamn memory to torment him.

He could hear a roaring in his ears, drowning out the rational voice in the back of his mind shouting for him to move away from her. Instead, he continued acting purely on instinct. On the raw, powerful lust that ripped up through his insides the instant he realized he had someone who reminded him of her in his arms. The very woman he never allowed himself to think about, let alone fantasize. But this was like a gift from fate. The bastard had never been kind to him in the past, but at the moment Ryder just didn’t give a damn. The only thing he had to worry about was convincing the little hellcat that there was something a hell of a lot better they could be doing together than fighting.

His breathing got deeper, nostrils flaring as he pulled in her light, purely feminine scent, the autumn night warm enough that the air was still sultry and damp from an earlier rainstorm. His body had already reacted to the feel of her wriggling against him, a serrated groan on his lips when her belly brushed against his erection, making her gasp. She went instantly still, but not with fear. It was more like . . . surprise, and he knew the exact instant her anger flared into lust—and he was done for. In that moment he couldn’t have walked away from her if his goddamn life depended on it.

For all Ryder knew, the woman was a thief who’d been getting ready to clear his house out, but he didn’t care. She smelled like Lily, had that same gorgeous hair and sexy figure, and he was too fucking starved to resist. One second they were standing on the walkway in front of his door, and in the next he had her plastered against it, wishing like hell that he’d replaced the blown bulb in the outside light so that he could get a better look at what he was tasting. His mouth had instantly settled against the base of her pale, slim throat, his tongue fluttering against her hammering pulse as he grabbed the front of her short-sleeved top and ripped. By the time Ryder could hear the shirt’s buttons pinging against the ground, he already had his mouth buried between her beautiful breasts. Any concerns he might have had that she wasn’t on exactly the same page as him were shattered by the low moan she gave when he ripped the silky cups of her bra down and curled his long fingers around the firm, delicate mounds, covering one of the hardened tips with his mouth. She cried out as he suckled her, her short nails digging into the bunched muscles in his shoulders, and it was like losing himself in a fever dream, her wild response to his aggression only adding fuel to the fire.

The nipple in Ryder’s mouth was tight and sweet, the intoxicating taste of the woman’s skin cranking his lust up to a primitive level. That irritating voice was still shouting in the back of his mind, warning him to snap back to reality and think about what he was doing—but he was too far gone, and she was too damn hot and willing. Her hands were already fisted in his hair, holding him to her as he switched to the other breast, her thigh riding his hip as she arched against him, as if she was as desperate for this as he was. And he was beyond desperate, his dick so hard he could have hammered through the fucking door with it. And the longer he touched her, the harder he got. Not that she was complaining. The woman was grinding herself against the front of his running shorts, riding the hard ridge of his cock, the husky sounds spilling from her lips the sexiest damn thing he’d ever heard.

He didn’t have a condom on him, which meant he couldn’t fuck her until he got her inside. He might be aching for it, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d always been religious about suiting up with latex and had never screwed without it. But this hot little stranger made him damn tempted.

“We need to move this indoors,” he rasped against the soft skin just under her right breast. Gripping her hips, Ryder dropped to his knees and kissed his way down her flat belly, until he’d shoved her skirt up and had his face buried against the silky front of her panties . . . then lower, between her legs. A rough, guttural sound crawled its way up from his chest as he caught the hot, mouthwatering scent of her cunt, the sexy underwear already damp with her juices. And then she had to destroy the whole goddamn thing with the soft, whispered sound of his name.

“Scott.”

Ah, Christ. No one fucking called him that but her, and it hit him like a bucket of ice water in his face.

He should have listened to his gut, to that damn voice that had been shouting in the back of his mind, because this woman didn’t just resemble Lily Heller. She was Lily Heller!

No. No way. Not her. Not Lily. Couldn’t be. She was just someone who reminded him of her. Someone he could still touch and get his fill of. Someone he could—

Damn it! He tried, but he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t buy his own bullshit. The lie had been blasted into a million tiny fragments and now he was going to have to pay the fucking price for being an idiot. No doubt with his sanity.

Jerking back to his feet, Ryder gripped her shoulders as he locked his sharp gaze on her face for the first time in three years. “Son of a bitch,” he grated under his breath. Big green eyes with lashes that were long and thick stared back at him. Rosy lips parted for her panting breaths. Moonlight spilling down on those firm breasts, her pink little nipples still glistening from his mouth and tongue.

Oh, God.

He was shaking so hard she was jerking in his arms, but he couldn’t stop, unable to believe what was right in front of him. The girl he’d left his life and career for—the one who had been the object of his most dangerous obsession for far too long—was trapped between his body and his front door, blinking up at him with those big, bright eyes while she tried to catch her breath.

Lily Heller, daughter of his ex-boss and goddamn thorn in his side, in the flesh, staring back at him as if she could eat him alive, with her perfect tits out and her skirt hiked up around her waist. Jesus.

Ryder rubbed a rough hand over his mouth, wondering how he could have let things go so far. What the hell had he been thinking?

He hadn’t. Which was the problem. He’d shoved rational thought to the back of his mind and focused on what he wanted. Instant gratification would screw you over every time. Damn it, he knew that. Had an IQ that said he was way too fucking smart to make that kind of mistake—but his dick had apparently failed to get the memo. And now, thanks to this royal little screwup, he would have to go through life knowing exactly how right it felt to have her under his hands and mouth.

“Fuck!” he ground out through his clenched teeth, shoving away from her. At six-three, he towered over her, even though she wasn’t a short woman. Maybe five-six or five-seven, though she seemed more petite because of her build. She was slim, but feminine as hell, and he wanted nothing more than to take her back into his arms and—

Shit. He couldn’t do it. Because if he did, it was going to goddamn destroy him when he had to walk away. And he would walk. He didn’t have any other option. He never had where this girl was concerned. Yeah, she might be twenty-five now, but he still thought of her as the gangly, innocent teen she’d been when he first met her all those years ago.

Before he could get his mind wrapped around this new reality in which Lily Heller had suddenly popped back into his life, she shoved her skirt down, yanked the sides of her shirt closed, and glared up at him. “Do you mind telling me why you attacked me?” she snapped.

His jaw tightened. “I didn’t attack you. You’re the one who tried to hit me.”

“Only after you yanked me in front of you,” she shot back, as if he’d been the one at fault.

His voice was raw. “News flash, woman. That’s what happens when I find someone lurking in the shadows outside my front door.”

“I wasn’t lurking,” she argued, that bright gaze lowering to his bare chest and shoulders for a moment, before she finally lifted it back to his face. She drew in an unsteady breath, then blasted him with a sharp, “I was waiting for you to get home!”

Ryder made a low sound of frustration in the back of his throat, and this time her gaze drifted to the scar that ran from his temple to the middle of his right cheek. Something he didn’t quite understand moved through those green eyes, but she didn’t flinch. The last time she’d seen him the scar had been raw and fresh. It was still ugly as sin, but looked a hell of a lot better than it had then. He never even thought about it much anymore when he was with a woman, but he quickly felt himself go hot under the skin, as if he was actually embarrassed for her to see his face like this.

Fucking ironic, considering she was the reason he had the scar in the first place. Not that he’d ever tell her that. But every time Ryder looked in a mirror, he was reminded of just how dangerous his obsession with this girl could be.

“Why are you here?” he growled, his nostrils flaring with a fresh surge of fury as he stared her down. “What the hell do you want, Lily?”

She bristled with irritation. “Wow. You’re just all kinds of kindness and warmth, aren’t you? First you manhandle me, then you maul me, and now you’re being rude. Is that any way to greet an old friend?”

“Cut the crap. You were hardly manhandled or mauled, and we were never friends. Your old man made sure of that. So what the fuck are you doing here?”

She started to pale, losing that pleasure-flush that had been in her cheeks, the angry tension that had been riding her slender frame gone as quickly as it’d come. “Believe it or not,” she said quietly, licking her lips, “I’m here because I need your help.”

“Bullshit,” he snarled, fisting his hands at his sides so that he wouldn’t do something stupid. Like reach out and grab her again. “I’m the last person in the world you need to get near. Go back home to your daddy and leave me alone. Whatever problem you’ve got, he’ll take care of it.”

“I . . . can’t.”

“Why the hell not?” he exploded.

She blinked again, and this time a tear spilled from the corner of her eye. “Because he’s dead.”

Ryder shook his head, thinking he must have heard her wrong. “What are you talking about?”

She took a deep breath, then exhaled in a shuddering rush. “Heller’s dead, Scott. Rado killed him eight days ago.”

Rado? Just the sound of that terrorist bastard’s name put an icy feeling in Ryder’s gut. Of all the scumbags in the world, Yuri Radovich was the one he hated the most. But the man was supposed to be a corpse. Ryder knew, because he was the one who had killed him.

“That isn’t possible. Rado is dead, Lily.”

A wry smile twisted her lips, the raw pain in her expression making him flinch. “Yeah, that’s what my father thought. Until the monster waltzed onto our boat and slit his throat.”

“Jesus.” His head was starting to pound like a bitch. “You’re sure it was him?”

She sniffed, and jerked her chin up in response.

A fierce scowl wove its way between his brows. “Then why the hell am I only just hearing about this? Why hasn’t anyone informed the old unit?”

“Because I doubt anyone but me knows at this point, and I’ve been on the run,” she told him, her tone tight and clipped and anything but calm. “I don’t have my cell phone, but even if I did, I wouldn’t have called you because who knows if your phone calls are being tapped and traced. I’m sorry for just showing up out of the blue, but it’s not like I had any other choice. Even if I’d had a computer and could have e-mailed you, there’s a chance he could be monitoring your account. You know what he’s like—how extensive his reach is. And I didn’t have time to come up with some other brilliant way to contact you because I’ve been doing everything I could just to make it here in one piece!”

“On the run from what?” he demanded, finally noticing how tired she looked. How shattered. “What happened, Lily? Why doesn’t anyone know that Heller is dead?”

Her voice shook as she explained. “I was with my father and his girlfriend, Nancy, in the Bahamas when Rado made the hit. We were staying on Nancy’s boat, moored in some cove, when he and his men found us. He killed my dad and Nancy and had them thrown overboard.” Her voice started to crack, but she took another deep breath and went on. “He would have killed me, too. He actually took quite a lot of pleasure in explaining why I had to die and exactly how he and his men were going to do it. But I . . . I got lucky and managed to get away.”

Ryder worked his jaw, guessing there was a hell of a lot more to the story than that . . . and dreading what he knew was coming.

“Do you understand why I’m here?” she asked, stepping toward him, those incredible eyes shimmering with too many emotions for him to name. “You’re the only person I could think of who stands any kind of chance against him. The only person I trust. And I know I don’t have any right to ask—I know you don’t owe me anything—but I’m asking anyway.”

In a flat tone, he said, “You want me to protect you.”

It wasn’t a question. Ryder knew damn well that’s why she was there. He just didn’t know what he was going to do about it. The situation was complicated as hell. One of his worst goddamn nightmares come to life.

Because while Ryder might be capable of protecting Lily Heller from Radovich, he didn’t have a fucking clue how he was going to protect her from himself.

TWO

SITTING ALONE AT THE SMALL TABLE IN SCOTT RYDER’S kitchen, Lily took a moment to calm her heart and get her thoughts straight. Her body and emotions were still reeling from the way he’d touched her, not to mention the nightmare she’d been living for the past week. And then there were the three years she’d spent missing him every second of every day, even when she was pretending she didn’t. She hadn’t even been able to escape him in sleep, tormented too many nights by her dreams. Dreams where she’d see his rare smiles and hear his rugged, sexy-as-hell laugh.

God, she had it so bad for this man. She always had.

He’d told her to sit down and wait while he changed, and no more than a minute passed before he was walking back into the kitchen, his running shorts replaced by a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. The hem of the shirt hung just low enough to cover his crotch, no doubt to hide any lingering evidence of the massive erection he’d been grinding against her only minutes before. What she wouldn’t give to go back to that moment and just stay there, stuck in a replay loop that had him putting his hands and his mouth on her again. And again . . .

On the journey there, she’d repeatedly told herself—when she wasn’t reliving those horrific moments on Nancy’s boat—that she was finally over Scott Ryder. Completely. Forever. She’d tried to convince herself that she was running to him to buy as much time as she could—not because she was still the crushed-out girl who’d constantly obsessed about him, that obsession growing into heart-wrenching emotion as she’d grown older, only to be destroyed when he’d walked out of her life without so much as a See ya. But her delusions had been shattered the instant he’d touched her. No matter how badly she wanted to hate him, she . . . couldn’t. Not when there was still so much raw need for this man living inside her. It’d dug itself down into her bones, like a parasite, unwilling to let go, even after he’d taken her heart and ground it into tiny little mutilated pieces three years ago. Which left her in an even more miserable situation than she’d already been in, seeing as how he’d made it more than obvious on his doorstep that he was not happy to see her.

Whatever imagined need or desire she’d thought she’d glimpsed in his eyes all those years ago must have been nothing more than her wishful thinking.

Really? whispered a voice inside her head. And just whose mouth was that turning you inside out five minutes ago?

Huh. That was true. So then what was his freaking problem?

And what are you going to do about it?

At any other point in her life, Lily might have worried about the fact that she was carrying on a silent conversation with herself. But after the hell she’d been through, she wasn’t fazed by that soft voice. What threw her was the man standing across the kitchen from her, his powerful arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against one of the counters, a fierce scowl wedged between his dark brows.

It didn’t seem possible, but she was even more drawn to him now than she’d been when he was one of Heller’s Hellions, the nickname she’d given to her father’s deadly, highly trained black ops unit. Without any conscious decision, Lily found herself thinking back to her eighteenth birthday, when Ryder had been invited up to their house to watch a game with her dad. Before his retirement, the men in her father’s unit had lived in barracks on the grounds of their estate, which had been provided by the military in Northern Virginia. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to steal glances at the gorgeous soldier who her father had told her had a genius IQ that rivaled his combat skills, she’d grabbed a sketch pad and settled into a chair in the corner of the room. But that was as far as her plans had gotten, because it was Ryder who had spent most of the evening watching her instead of the TV. Flustered and overwhelmed with desire, she’d kept her attention focused on the blank page in her book, keenly aware of his dark eyes moving over her features, studying them individually. But why? She’d wondered if he thought she was odd, like the boys she’d gone to school with had. Or had he liked what he saw? Liked her? She’d wished she had the answer, but she’d had no basis for comparison. Not when her nearly nonexistent experience had been with bumbling adolescents, while he’d been . . . God. What he’d been was incredible. The most intensely sexual, potent male she’d ever set eyes on.

And he still was. Maybe even more so. And boy did that suck. Considering she wasn’t getting any.

Why not? If not now, when? Your time is running out.

She didn’t like to think about it, but knew that damn voice was probably right. In that instant, Lily made the decision to go “balls out,” as guys said, and give his seduction her all. Hell, it’s not like she had anything to lose, except maybe her pride. But it was going to hurt just as much if she lost without even trying, so the way she saw it, she might as well give it a shot. Especially when the odds were hardly in her favor of surviving more than a few weeks, at best. Ryder was good, but she had a clear understanding of exactly how evil Radovich could be. Not to mention determined. Now that she’d finally been honest with herself about why she was there, she knew there was no way she could let Ryder get caught up in her problems. She had maybe a week, tops, before Radovich tracked her down. Which meant she’d have to be gone before then, drawing him away from this man who had claimed her damn heart without even trying.

Apparently growing impatient with their silent standoff, he gripped the edge of the counter behind him and very quietly said, “Start talking, Lily.”

Enjoying the chills his rough voice gave her, she leaned back in the chair she’d taken at the small table and held his stare. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want to know what happened on that boat.”

“I told you what happened. My father was killed, I got away, and I have no doubt that Rado is looking for me. I need your help until I can figure out what to do.”

• • •

SHE WANTED TO figure out what to do? Christ, her options were so limited he could count them on two fingers.

One: Kill Radovich before he killed her.

Two: Start a new life somewhere with a new identity and hope like hell the terrorist never tracked her down.

Both options had their dangers, and he wished to God there were a third, easier solution here. Wished Rado had just stayed dead, like he was meant to be, instead of coming back and wreaking hell on this woman’s life.

Now that she was sitting under the bright kitchen lights, Ryder could see the shadow of a healing bruise on her right cheek and another along the side of her jaw. It killed him inside that she’d been hurt. That some prick had hit her . . . marked her.

Was this what had been itching at his senses for the past weeks? He wasn’t a spiritual guy, but he’d spent enough time in Heller’s unit to trust his survival instincts. But this feeling in his veins had been different, sharper and more vital, and he hadn’t recognized it for what it was: A call to protect someone else, instead of his own sorry ass. If he hadn’t been so goddamn determined not to think about her, would he have been able to figure it out? He didn’t know—but it was probably going to be a question that hammered at him for the rest of his days.

He didn’t like failing people. And no matter what he did, he always ended up feeling like that around Lily. Like he was doing it all wrong. Not getting it right. Out of his element and in over his head. Which was only part of the reason he’d known he needed to walk away.

“Obviously,” she said, tucking a wayward curl behind her left ear, “we need to know what’s happened since I ran. I’ve been completely cut off, so I have no idea if Rado has gone after anyone else, or if he’s gunning straight for me. If he’s hoping to stay off the government’s radar and remain dead, then he’ll put everything he’s got into finding me. Do you stay in contact with any of your old intel sources?”

He shook his head. “Not the kind that would know anything about Rado. I left that shit behind, where it belongs.”

Something that looked too much like pain flashed in her eyes. “Including me? Am I just an unwanted piece of your forgotten past?”

His fingers tightened on the counter until he could have sworn he heard the Formica groan in protest. “You weren’t mine, Lily. Don’t make it sound like we had some understanding that I shit on. I never fucked you over.”

She didn’t say anything right away. Just stared across the small kitchen at him with those big, soul-trapping eyes. And then, very softly, she said, “But I wanted to be yours. I wanted to belong to you.” She slowly shook her head, her tone chagrined. “I hoped—” She broke off with a low, pained laugh. “God, you have no idea how badly I hoped you felt the same, but you were so good at giving nothing away. If I’d known you would touch me the way you touched me tonight, I never would have been able to keep my hands off you.”

His jaw went so rigid it felt like it could crack. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m just not attracted to you?”

One of her slender eyebrows slowly arched. “I think the fact I’m holding my shirt closed because it’s missing all its buttons says differently.”

He would have argued, but it was pointless, given his actions. Score one for his dick. Now his brain had a hell of a lot of catching up to do. Desperate to retake the ground that he’d lost, he said, “What happened tonight was a product of circumstance.”

The look in her eyes turned laser sharp, making him flinch, as if he’d been pinned under a microscope. “So you’re saying that you were willing to fuck me when you didn’t have a clue who I was? When I was just some random stranger lurking in the shadows? But once you realized it was me, you’re now no longer interested?”

He gave a jerky nod.

“Bullshit.”

“Whatever you think, it shouldn’t have happened.”

Her chin shot up a notch, making his insides cramp. He’d seen that stubborn look on her face too many times to count when she’d been living with her father. But he’d never had it directed right at him. “I wanted it to happen a long time ago,” she said, all but laying the words down like a challenge.

His own words were raw. “It’s not happening again.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Because you’re practically a child,” he growled.

She looked stunned. “Excuse me?”

“I’m eight fucking years older than you are,” he muttered.

“So?”

“So . . . I’ve known you forever. Your dad was my fucking friend.”

Her brow knitted with confusion. “And that was why you always treated me as a friend, but never anything more? Because you think I’m too young for you?”

He didn’t say anything. He just stared, hard, warning her to quit with his look. But the little fool just wouldn’t shut up.

“You know, sometimes . . . sometimes I would catch what I thought was a glimpse of interest in your eyes. Something that you didn’t hide quite in time when I would turn unexpectedly and look your way.” She moved to her feet and took two steps toward him, before his wrathful expression stopped her. “Do you have any idea what those looks would do to me? How badly I wished you would just do something . . . anything? How terrified I was that I was just imagining it? Whatever you wanted from me, I would have been more than willing to give you, Scott.”

“Christ, Lily. You don’t even know me. You don’t know what I’m—”

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, cutting him off. “I know all about you.”

He gave a gritty laugh under his breath. “Right.”

She took another step toward him and lowered her lashes. “Would you like it better if you gagged me? Tied me up? Slapped some handcuffs on me? Because if that’s what it takes to get you off, then I’m willing. I trust you.”

It was the strangest sensation, the way all the blood in his body turned ice cold, while his skin burned with heat. Releasing his grip on the counter, he flexed his hands at his sides. “What the fuck did you just say?”

Her gaze flicked up to his, and caught, locked in the fury of his glare. But she didn’t back down and cower. Instead, she licked her lips and said, “I know all about your sexual . . . whatever you want to call it. I know you’re into the bondage scene. My father made sure he did his research thoroughly on every one of his men before they came to work for him, as well as while they were under his command.” There was a brief pause where she bit her lip, and then she murmured, “Your file was fairly extensive.”

He was so furious he was shaking. “You read my fucking file?”

She narrowed her eyes again. “Front to back. I memorized the damn thing.”

His lungs seized so tight he couldn’t even draw his next breath. He didn’t think it was possible, but he went even colder inside. “You know about my mother?”

Her head cocked a bit to the side, her gaze questioning. “I know she was a single mother. That she raised you without your dad. But that’s all.”

He scraped out a low curse, not looking at her. But he could feel the force of her sudden uneasiness blasting against him. “Scott,” she said hesitantly. “What’s wrong?”

What was wrong? Jesus. He choked back a humorless laugh, not trusting what it might turn into. She hadn’t been back in his life twenty minutes, and already he felt stripped down like a live wire, all his raw parts torn and exposed, getting prodded by every fucking word that came out of her mouth.

“I don’t like the look on your face,” she whispered. “You know you can talk to me, right? Is there something about your mother you don’t want me to know?”

He scrubbed his hands down his face, then dropped his arms to his sides and forced himself to look her in the eye. “We’re not talking about my mother, Lily. And before you think you can just loop back to your original topic, we’re sure as shit not talking about my sex life.”

“Why?” she pressed softly, clearly not knowing when to quit. “Does it scare you to know that I’m okay with what you like from women? Is that what bothers you about our age difference? You think I won’t understand?”

Completely ignoring her questions, he bit his words out. “Did you or did you not come to me claiming that Rado is trying to kill you?”

“It’s not a claim. It’s the truth.”

“Then maybe you should stop playing games you can’t finish and tell me what the fuck happened.”

He could tell from the look in her eyes that his attitude was getting to her. “I’ve already told you what happened.”

He slowly shook his head. “Not how you got away.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Nothing. Not really. Except that it was driving him out of his damn mind, wondering what those bastards had done to her.

Her lashes lowered, concealing something in her eyes that she didn’t want him to see. “I got away, Scott. That’s all that matters.”

Fuck it. He’d let her keep her silence. For the moment. “I’ll protect you,” he muttered, crossing his arms back over his chest, “but I won’t take any of your shit, Lily. You’ll have to follow my orders. Do you think you can do that?”

Her little chin went up again. “Why do you think I can’t?”

He gave a sarcastic snort. “I remember what you were like. Always defying every order you were given.”

A low, tight laugh slipped from her lips. “That was a long time ago. I didn’t like being treated like one of my dad’s soldiers and I acted out. It doesn’t mean I have a death wish.”

“You could have fooled me.” She might have been innocent when it came to sex back then, but she’d had more than enough backbone to defy her father in every other aspect of her life. “You were reckless as hell.”

Her head tilted a bit to the side again. “What are you talking about?”

“That skydiving instructor you let take you up had shit for brains.”

For a few seconds, she just stared at him in confusion. Then realization slowly dawned, her expression caught somewhere between fascination and shock. “Ohmygod. That was you? You’re the one who scared him off ever taking me up for another jump?”

He jerked his shoulder in a stiff roll. “All I did was talk to him.”

“And make him nearly piss his pants! He thought you were going to kill him.”

Choking back a satisfied laugh, he said, “That’s a little dramatic. I just told him I would kick his ass if he ever came within twenty miles of you again.”

She placed her fingers over her lips, still looking dazed. “He apparently thought that meant the same thing when coming from you.”

“Yeah, well, you know me better than that.”

“I thought I did. But then I also thought you weren’t coward enough to sneak off in the dead of night without a word.”

Jesus, she just wouldn’t let up. “Don’t start, Lily. Leave the past in the past, where it belongs.”

“So because I liked to skydive when I was younger, you think I’m . . . what? Reckless? Stupid?”

“It wasn’t just the skydiving. It was the rock-climbing, the whitewater kayaking, the fucking bungee jumping from bridges only an idiot would have jumped off of. You treated every school break like a chance to finally find a way to kill yourself!”

Color burned beneath her pale skin. “So I liked to push my limits. What’s the big deal? At least I wasn’t doing it with drugs and sex.”

A muscle started to pulse at the side of his jaw. “You were headed there.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” she snapped. “But it’s good to know that you were worried enough to stick around and make sure I was okay.”

“Topic, Lily. For once let’s try to stay on fucking topic.”

She was breathing too hard to say anything for a moment, those green eyes flashing with anger. “Fine. Is there anyone local who can help us if we need it? Or are we on our own?”

Pushing his hands in his pockets, he said, “There’s Ben. But I don’t know if that would be a good idea.”

“Who’s Ben?”

“My boss.”

She studied his expression, no doubt seeing more than he wanted her to. But she simply said, “Dad told me you were working down here as a deputy. So Ben’s the sheriff?”

“Yeah.”

“You trust him?”

“I trust him,” he replied, then immediately frowned. “But it’s going to be complicated, seeing as how he’s . . .”

“He’s what?”

“In love.” He winced, feeling like a damn idiot. “He just got married and all that shit.”

“Oh.” She shook her head. “Um, I’m failing to see the point. Why does his being in love and married make this complicated?”

Taking a hand from his pocket, he shoved it back through his shaggy hair and grimaced. “Because the guy’s walking around with fucking stars in his eyes 24/7 these days. He’s going to take one look at you and start playing matchmaker.” Ben never had before, but something in Ryder’s gut told him this time it would be different. There was too much crackling tension in the air between him and Lily. The kind anyone could pick up on and mistake for something sexual.

With wide eyes, she asked, “Does he do that often? For you?”

“I’m not answering that,” he muttered, shoving his hand back in his pocket.

“Why not?”

“Because my personal life is off-limits. And it’s none of your damn business.”

Her laughter was quiet as she tightened her arms over her chest. “I’d tell you what a jerk you sound like, but I’m too tired.”

He studied her for a moment, taking in the dark circles under her eyes. Did she look a little paler than when they’d first started talking? When she yawned, he moved to her side. “Come on, you need sleep.”

“I know. Sorry,” she mumbled, turning back toward the table, where she’d left a sturdy backpack sitting in one of the chairs. She’d carried it in with her when they’d come inside, retrieving it from the shadows by the trellis.

“What’s in the bag?” he asked, telling himself he wasn’t disappointed that she’d been able to get the pack on her shoulder without losing her grip on her top, which she was still having to hold closed. But it was nothing but a big fat lie. He’d have probably given up a year of his life just for the chance to set eyes on her tits again. They might not be the biggest he’d ever seen, but they were definitely the most beautiful, not to mention the sweetest. There wasn’t even a close second.

“Just a few things,” she said, answering his question. “I left most of my stuff back at the motel I checked into this evening, before taking a taxi over here. Not that there’s much. But I didn’t want to be caught without anything if they found me.”

“You’ve got clothes with you?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a clean pair of shorts and a shirt. My toothbrush. Hairbrush. A little cash.”

He nodded, heading out of the kitchen, and she followed after him. “I’m sorry if I’ve been bitchy tonight,” she said to his back. “I haven’t slept much the past few days, and then that whole make-out session completely fried my brain. I can’t stand to be left hanging.”

Ryder flinched, hating the idea of her having sexual experience. Not that he had any claim on her. But he had no doubt that he’d go to his grave wanting to kill every bastard who was ever lucky enough to lay his hands on her.

When he started down the hallway toward the back of the house instead of the entrance, she said, “Uh, Scott? Aren’t you taking me back to my motel?”

He turned around to face her, his brows pulled together in another frown. “I thought you wanted protection.”

“I do. I guess I just thought that you’d stay with me there. At the motel.”

Shaking his head again, he said, “You’re staying here.”

“Oh. Um, okay.”

He showed her to the guest bedroom that sat across the hall from his. It had a double bed and its own bathroom, so at least he wouldn’t have to think about her getting naked and wet in his shower. Careful to keep his eyes off her as she sat on the side of the bed, he told her to get some sleep and that he’d be in to wake her up early. Then he headed for the door.

“Scott. I—”

Ryder shut the door behind him without bothering to wait for what she wanted to say. He was half-terrified she’d come after him, knowing damn well his control was too shaky to withstand the temptation if she pushed him any more tonight. His stupid dick was still rock hard, and he wanted nothing more than to bury it so deep inside her she—

Fuck! I’ve got to stop thinking about it.

Since there wasn’t a chance in hell he could sleep when he was this jacked up, he headed into his home office and sat down in front of his computer. Two hours later, he’d already hacked his way into a few government systems and had looked into everything they knew about Radovich and Lily’s father. It wasn’t much. The military was keeping Heller’s death quiet until they had an answer about what had happened to him. They hadn’t figured out yet that it was Rado—that the bastard was back from the dead—and for the moment Ryder planned to leave it that way. He didn’t like the thought of how they might try to use Lily if they learned the truth about what had happened. Not that he wasn’t thinking along the same lines, but only if he could keep her protected. The kind of brass who would kill for the chance to bag Yuri Radovich wouldn’t be so concerned about her safety. But for the moment, as far as the military knew, she’d died on that boat along with her father. Heller’s and the girlfriend’s bodies had washed up on a Bahamian beach two days ago, but Lily’s was assumed to still be lost at sea.

The government thought she was dead, but Rado knew that she was alive. Which meant one thing and one thing only.

The bastard was hunting for her.

THREE

THINKING THAT SHE’D JUST HEARD SOMEONE SAY HER NAME, Lily rolled over in the comfortable double bed and choked back a moan. Mmm, talk about waking up to a beautiful piece of eye candy. Ryder was sprawled back in the brown leather chair that sat in the far corner of the room, dressed in jeans and a gray T-shirt. He looked tired, but beautiful. The dark smudges under his eyes only added to the I’m-a-serious-badass image he projected so well. Of course, in Ryder’s case it wasn’t an image. He really was a serious badass.

“Did you sleep at all?” she asked him.

His dark eyes bored into hers. “I caught a few hours.” His voice was low and morning-rough. If she had the choice, she knew she could be happy waking up to that voice every morning for the rest of her life. Too bad she had a better chance of winning the lottery.

“What were you doing all night?”

He scratched at the black stubble shadowing the hard line of his jaw. “I spent some time online.”

Sitting up, she braced her back against the headboard. She’d slept in a thin tank top, and kept the sheet tucked up under her arms, covering her nipples. They’d gone hard the instant she’d set eyes on Ryder, but it wasn’t like she wanted to hide from him. She wanted him. God, she wanted him. She just needed to wake up a bit more before she could throw off the nerves fluttering in her belly and put it all out there, nipples and all. “Were you looking into Rado?”

When he nodded, she asked, “What’s your plan?”

She could have sworn he was fighting back a grin. “What makes you think I have a plan?”

She rolled her eyes. “I know you, Scott. I spent too many years of my life studying you. I know what your game face looks like.”

Leaning forward in the chair, he braced his elbows on his parted knees, the position doing incredible things to his muscular arms and broad shoulders. “I think we let him know where you are, then sit and wait for him to fall into our lap.”

Her jaw dropped so far she thought she probably looked like a landed trout. “Wait a minute. You want him to come to Moss Beach?”

His gaze was steady and direct, and deadly as hell. “We can waste weeks trying to track the bastard down so that I can make sure his ass is dealt with once and for all, or a few days waiting for him to make his move.”

A few days. The more dangerous but faster option. And from the look on his face, it was obvious that he’d chosen it because he couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d made no secret of the fact that he wasn’t happy about being stuck with her. Oh, he might not have come right out and said it. But his facial expressions and body language had been easy to read. He didn’t want her there.

Knotting the sheet in her hands, she worked to keep her voice calm as she said, “I came here looking for protection. Can’t we just . . . I don’t know. Alert the right people and let them go after Rado, while I stay here with you?”

He shook his head. “We both know how hard the son of a bitch is to kill, Lily. And until he’s dead, you’ll never be safe.”

“And when he gets here? What then?”

“Then I kill him.”

He said it so simply, as if he were talking about taking out the trash or grabbing some fast food.

“And his men? What are you going to do about the assholes he has working for him?” she pressed, knowing damn well that any chance she had of turning the fantasy that’d been playing in the back of her mind into a reality was getting slim. And it was such a good one, too. A raw, delicious fantasy where she and Scott Ryder lost themselves in each other before Rado found her and killed her. She didn’t want to die, damn it—but if she had to go, she at least wanted as much time with Ryder as she could get before it happened. At the first sign of the terrorist, she planned to leave town, drawing the danger away from him. Just not until she’d gotten what she’d come for. But Ryder wanted Rado there now, leaving her no time at all.

Answering her question, he said, “If they try to hurt you, they die. But Rado’s interest in you is personal. I’m guessing he’s looking for some kind of payback against your father for sending the old unit after him. Once he’s dead, his men will move on to greener pastures.”

He dropped his gaze to her hands, which were still knotted in the top sheet, holding it tight to her chest. Her grip was so strong she figured her knuckles were probably turning white, but she couldn’t relax her hold. When he lifted those dark eyes back to hers, she said, “I shouldn’t have come here. I knew you were tough, that you could handle yourself, but I didn’t think you’d want a showdown. You could get hurt.” She darted her eyes to his scar, then quickly looked away. “You’ve already been hurt enough by this man. I don’t want you in danger.”

“We’re not going to hide, Lily. I’m going to finish the job I started three years ago. I want that bastard in the ground.” He paused for a second, studying her expression with those piercing eyes, before saying, “And don’t even think about running.”

She blinked. “What?”

“You heard me. If you think you can read me, then remember that I can read you even better.” He paused again, his intense, heavy-lidded gaze making her feel as if he really could see right inside her, picking his way through her thoughts. With a slow shake of his head, he quietly said, “I don’t know what plan you had in coming here, but it obviously wasn’t this. You knew you’d be safe here, that I’d protect you if the shit hit the fan, but for some reason, you never planned on me going face-to-face with Rado.”

“No. I—”

“Don’t waste our time with lies.” His expression was definitely veering toward a scowl. “Just know that if you try to run, you’ll have both of us chasing you down—me and Radovich. And you won’t like what happens if I find you first.”

Her breath caught in her chest at the blatant warning in those low, husky words, but she knew she wasn’t in any real danger from him. He wouldn’t physically harm her—not like Rado would. No, Ryder was promising a different kind of punishment. One that made her heart pound and her pulse race, while she went warm and wet in places that were eagerly anticipating his possession. It was almost funny, the way he thought he was making some kind of threat, when she was more than willing to take whatever he wanted to dish out.

“If we do this,” he added, “then we do it my way.”

“Yeah, I know.” The time for being shy was definitely over. Taking a deep breath, Lily deliberately let go of the sheet, watching his gaze drop as the white cotton slipped down to her waist. Her nipples pulled even tighter beneath the weight of his stare. “You’re into control and all that, right?”

That muscle started to pulse in his jaw again. “I’m not talking about sex.”

“I know you weren’t.”

His nostrils flared as he roughly exhaled. “Focus, Lily.”

“Or what?”

Something hot and hard started to burn in that dark gaze as he slowly brought it back to her face. “You’ll listen to me or I’ll cuff your sweet little ass to that bed.”

Refusing to back down, she drawled, “You can cuff it anyway, Deputy. I’ve always wanted to try a little bondage.”

Ryder was on her before he’d even realized he was moving. One second he was sitting in the chair across the room, and in the next he had her trapped beneath him in the center of the mattress, his hands manacling her delicate wrists. His eyes narrowed as he stared down at her triumphant expression. “You’re pushing me, Little Lily.”

She gazed up at him with wide eyes, her face flushed with excitement. “I’m not little, Scott. And if it’ll get you pushing into me, then good. I’ll just keep pushing. What do I have to lose?”

He shoved a knee between her legs, forcing them apart, and pressed against the crotch of her panties, letting her feel just how thick and hard he was. “You feel that?” he growled, his lungs heaving. “You still want me inside you?”

Instead of scaring her off, the look in her eyes got hotter . . . softer, as if she saw right inside him and liked what she saw. What the hell? It was like she understood his screwed up emotions even better than he did. “God, yes,” she whispered. “I want it more than anything.”

He made his tone as snide as possible. “You really think you can take it, baby girl?”

Her laugh was low and sweet, giving him chills. “Maybe the question is whether or not you can keep up with me. I mean, I’m younger, which means I’ve got more stamina. And I’m sure as hell not afraid of your dick, Scott—no matter how big it is.”

He shook his head and glared. “You shouldn’t talk like that.”

“Why not?”

“For one, you’re too damn young. And your fucking life is in danger. You need to stay focused and stop trying to get me in your pants.”

She laughed a little harder, hugging his hips with her slender thighs. “Seriously, Scott. Do you even hear yourself? I’m twenty-five years old. And if my life’s in danger, then shouldn’t I be enjoying every moment of it while I still have the time?”

“Don’t say that,” he snapped, gripping her shoulders and shaking her. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“You don’t know that,” Lily said softly, staring up at him. “I have every faith you can keep yourself alive—so long as you don’t do something reckless—or I wouldn’t have come here. But we both know the odds aren’t in my favor. Not if he’s decided I need to die.”

And that right there was why she’d run to him. Because she refused to leave this world before she’d done everything she could to get her fill of this beautiful, somehow damaged, thoroughly exasperating man.

“You really think I’ll let him touch you?” His face was right above hers now, his breath warm against her lips.

“If I stay, I won’t blame you if you fail. We both know what he’s like. You’re my best shot, but a girl’s gotta be realistic, right?”

His dark eyes glittered. “Damn it, Lily. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Tell me you understand that.”

“I’d rather tell you what I want to do to you,” she shot back, knowing she was pushing him. But she couldn’t stop. It was like the need inside of her had taken control of her mouth. “Or I could tell you about all the things I’m hoping you’ll do to me.”

“Is that really what this is all about? You came to me because you want to get fucked one last time before he finds you? Is that it? Was I the closest guy you could get to that you know?”

“No! I came here because I want you. Just you.” Her voice shook with emotion. “I always have.”

“You don’t know what the hell you want,” he argued, forcing the words through his clenched teeth. “You’re acting like a spoiled little brat.”

“Why? Because I’m not afraid to admit what I want? Does it freak you out that badly? Are you afraid I’m going to ruin you with my dirty mind?”

“I swear to God, Lily.” Frustration thickened his words. “I’ve had enough of your smart-ass mouth.”

“Then put something in it and shut me up,” she flung back at him. “Come on, Scott. Quit wasting time!”

He didn’t say anything more. He used actions instead of words. But there was no mistaking his meaning. One second Lily was trapped under him, and in the next he had her flipped to her front, braced on her knees, with her elbows on the bed and her ass in the air as he knelt beside her, holding her in place. When he ripped her panties down, pulling them to mid-thigh, she panted, “What are you doing?”

“Spanking your ass,” he growled, quickly bringing one of his big hands down in a loud smack against her right cheek. Lily shrieked, startled and outraged by the pain, and more than a little confused by the pleasure that followed immediately on its heels. Did she like this? Did she want more? He didn’t wait to ask. Within seconds he’d rained four more slaps across her bottom, alternating sides and making the sensitive skin burn, her body shivering as she tried to make sense of the strange sensations rushing through her.

Then he stopped, his breathing jagged and rough as he held still beside her, the heat of his body keeping her warm in the cool, air-conditioned air. He shuddered, making a low sound in his throat. The hand he’d used to spank her curved around her stinging flesh, gripping her in a hard, possessive hold, while the other pressed between her shoulders, keeping her in the provocative position. She panted harder, wondering what came next, when he dropped his forehead to her lower back.

“Scott? Wh-what are you doing?”

“I . . . Fuck! Shut up and let me think.”

“Are you okay?” she whispered, which was odd. She was the one who’d just had her ass spanked. If anything, he should be asking her that question. But she could feel the brutal emotion gripping him, making his hard, powerful body shake.

“No,” he finally admitted. “I’m not okay. I’m really fucking far from okay.”

The hoarse, guttural sound of his voice made her melt, and she was keenly aware of the slick warmth of her juices slipping down her inner thighs. She was wet and empty and aching inside. What was he waiting for?

“Are you going to touch me?”

When he didn’t respond, she arched her back a little deeper, swaying her bottom a bit, too desperate to care that she was practically begging for him. “Please, Scott. Do it.”

His fingers tightened on her ass, and for a moment there was nothing but the heavy, breath-filled silence that surrounded them, pressing down on them, thick with secrets and things she didn’t understand. Her lungs locked as his hand slowly started to slide lower. But his touch and weight were suddenly gone before he reached the drenched folds of her sex. There was a sharp, visceral growl, followed by the sound of one of his massive fists slamming into the wall behind the bed. She rolled over, crouching in the middle of the sheets, unable to believe he was walking out on her.

“Where are you going?” she demanded, watching him stalk across the room without once looking in her direction.

He stopped at the door, his big hands digging into the frame on either side, the power of his body so beautiful she wanted to throw herself at him. But it was what lay inside that had always fascinated her, trapping her heart before she was even old enough to understand what this kind of attachment meant. That it would ruin her for other men. Make her ache. Make her miserable.

“Get dressed,” he muttered. “We’re meeting Ben at his place in half an hour.”

Then he was gone.

• • •

THE DRIVE TO the sheriff’s house took little more than ten minutes. Ryder had been waiting for her when she’d finally come out of the guest room after getting ready, and by some unspoken agreement, neither of them had mentioned what had happened.

“Uh, Scott?” she murmured, staring through the windshield of his Jeep at the cars parked in the shared driveway of two beautiful beach houses that looked to be under a massive remodeling job that would make them a single house. “Is there some kind of party going on here?”

“Ben and his wife are throwing a birthday party for one of her sisters down on the beach later. He said people would probably show up early to help with the cooking and to get things ready.”

Lily pulled her lower lip through her teeth. “Does he mind us being here?”

“Not at all,” he said, not looking at her as he pulled his key from the ignition. “He invited us to the party, but I told him I thought it would be best if you kept a low profile for the moment.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, thinking the last thing she could probably handle right now was a party with a bunch of strangers.

They climbed out of the Jeep and made their way through the parked cars, then around the side of the house on the right, until they’d reached the crowded back patio. Standing on the fringes of the bustling group, Ryder pointed to a muscular, dark-haired guy who was sinfully good-looking. “The tall guy over there is Ben.”

“That’s who you’re worried is going to play matchmaker?” she asked, barely able to hold in her laughter as she studied the man who was stringing a strand of small white lights across the opposite end of the patio. He was gorgeous, but looked tough as hell. “Honestly, Scott.”

When she sent him a look that said she thought he was crazy, he smirked. “You want to feel my palm on your ass again?”

She was surprised he’d mentioned it, and more than a little surprised at how turned on she was by the idea. Heat sizzled through her as she murmured, “I might.”

“Christ.” He blew out a soft breath, and there was a crooked tilt to his mouth as he shook his head. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

“You certainly did,” she said with a soft laugh, thinking he might actually be loosening up a little. Looking back at the sheriff, she asked, “Is it hard for you to take orders from a guy who isn’t military?” On the drive over, he’d explained Ben Hudson’s background as a Miami homicide detective, before the lawman had relocated to Moss Beach and taken on the role of county sheriff.

“Not at all,” he murmured, nodding to the people who either smiled at them or gave them a little wave. They were definitely getting some curious looks, but everyone seemed friendly and welcoming. “Ben knows what he’s doing,” he added. “That’s all that matters to me.”

She smiled, thinking Ryder had always been that way. For such a badass alpha soldier who had been as lethal with a computer as he’d been with a knife, he’d never been one to play the macho asshole card. He’d taken his orders from her father without ever batting an eye, and he’d been loyal to the members of his team. He hadn’t swaggered with attitude like so many of the elite soldiers.

“Hey, Ryder. You gonna introduce me to the lovely lady?”

Ryder mentally cursed as Michael Hudson, Ben’s younger brother, walked toward him and Lily. Ben had obviously asked everyone to give them a bit of space, but Mike either hadn’t gotten the message, or had simply decided to ignore it. Before he could tell the hotshot DEA agent to back off, Lily stuck her hand out and smiled. “Hi. I’m Lily Heller.”

There was a wicked gleam in Mike’s pale green eyes as he shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m Mike Hudson. Ben’s brother.”

Though she’d had a change of clothes in the backpack she’d brought with her, she obviously hadn’t had any makeup to put on. Her face was freshly scrubbed, her skin glowing and healthy, making her look even younger than she was. And incredibly innocent—even though Ryder knew she wasn’t. Not after what had happened that morning. A virgin would have been screaming her head off at having her underwear ripped down and her sweet little ass smacked, instead of moaning and wiggling for more. His right hand flexed at his side, his palm burning with remembered sensation. Her rounded backside had been so smooth and soft. It’d taken every ounce of willpower he possessed not to push his hand lower, between her legs, and palm her hot little cunt. Even more to refrain from rolling her over and shoving her legs out flat at her sides so that he could get a good long look at her tender folds, before lowering his head and going at her like a man who’d been starving for too damn long.

“So how do you know this jackass?” Mike asked, interrupting the dangerous track of his thoughts. Last thing he needed was to get hard in front of all these fucking people. Ben would never let him live it down.

“Mike,” he grunted, that single word holding a wealth of warning. Before Ryder could say anything more, Ben finally came over, slapping his brother on the back.

“Get lost, Mike. They’re here on business.”

Mike’s pale gaze skimmed over the faded bruise on Lily’s jaw. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” he said in a hard voice, before walking away.

Ben shot a warm look toward his wife, Reese, who was standing at one of the tables with her mother, both women busy putting flowers into little vases that’d been tied with ribbons. Then the sheriff turned and headed through a set of French doors, into the house, and Ryder and Lily followed after him. Ryder kept his hand against her lower back as they made their way through the house to Ben’s home office. At the beginning of the summer, it had been a man’s office, nice but rugged with a single desk. Now it sported a slightly smaller, feminine desk on the other side of the room, where Reese worked. This room was hardly the only change in Ben’s life since he’d fallen head-over-ass for the sexy little schoolteacher—but for some reason it made Ryder uncomfortable. He scowled as he looked around, noting the two mugs sitting on the larger desk. One had lipstick on the rim, as if Reese had been cuddled up in her husband’s lap as they’d shared their morning coffee. And then there were the fucking photos on the walls and their desks. Wedding photos. Honeymoon photos. The smiling, laughing couple with their arms wrapped around each other. The looks on their faces happier than he’d ever thought people could be. That it could happen to a tough son of a bitch like Ben threw him. He didn’t like being in this space, where everything screamed couple and commitment and all the things that scared the living shit out of him. And he sure as hell didn’t like being in here with Lily.

“You okay?” Ben asked him. “You look—”

“I’m fine,” he grunted. “Just . . . worried.” He almost flinched when Lily turned her head and gave him a little smile, her eyes flashing with emotions he couldn’t deal with. And didn’t want. What the hell did she know anyway? She was too young. Too trusting. Too fucking everything. He’d have to be an idiot to believe a single word that had come out of her mouth that morning.

Moving away from her, he threw himself into the chair over by the wall, leaving her alone in front of the desk.

Ben frowned, looking between the two of them, before settling his worried gaze on Lily. She was still standing, and he held out his hand. “I’m afraid we didn’t get properly introduced. I’m Ben.”

“Lily,” she said, shaking his hand. “I want to thank you for taking the time to meet with us when you’re so busy.”

He gave her an easy smile. “Not a problem. I’m never too busy for my friends.”

Ryder stiffened, a little surprised by Ben’s words. He hadn’t really ever thought of him as being a friend. They worked together. Period. He didn’t have friends. Or girlfriends. Hell, he was such a reclusive jerk, he probably wouldn’t see his sister if she didn’t make it a point to come down and visit.

Before he could sort out his thoughts, Ben asked Lily to take a seat, propped his hip on the edge of his desk, and caught Ryder’s gaze. “Tell me what you need and I’ll make it happen. But first, I want to know what’s going on.”

Though he’d given Ben a brief overview of the situation over the phone, he hadn’t gone into any specifics. He did that now, explaining about Yuri Radovich, the op he and his fellow team members had carried out against Radovich three years ago that they’d mistakenly thought had resulted in the terrorist’s death, and how Heller and his girlfriend had been killed. Then Ben asked Lily to explain how she’d managed to make it from the Caribbean to Florida, and Ryder listened with interest. His damn head had been so screwed up since last night he hadn’t yet taken the time to ask her that question himself. Her story about paying some guy on a deep-sea fishing boat to smuggle her into the port so that there wouldn’t be any records for Rado to trace gave him chills, considering how easy it would have been for some bastard to hurt her. When she was done, Ben looked at Ryder and asked, “Could Radovich’s hit on Heller and his family be a personal strike against you?”

Lily sat up a little straighter in her chair, her confusion showing in the crease between her delicate brows. “What would an attack against my father have to do with Scott? As far as I know, they never spoke again after he left my father’s unit.”

Ryder shook his head a little, warning Ben off that particular track. He knew exactly what the guy was thinking—that Radovich thought there was a romantic connection between him and Lily and had tried to kill her because of it. No way in hell did he want his boss blurting out a bombshell like that. He’d never be able to convince Lily he wasn’t interested if she suspected he might be lying to her. Idiot woman had decided she wanted a piece of him for some unknown reason, and until he’d dealt with Rado and sent her home, he needed to be careful not to give anything away. Not that he was doing that great a job of it. He’d already had her panties down around her knees once today, and it wasn’t even lunchtime.

Picking up on Ryder’s signal, Ben shrugged Lily’s question off, saying it was nothing, then asked what he could do to help. Ryder rubbed his scar for a moment, knowing Ben probably wasn’t going to like his plan. But he didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter. He needed Radovich dealt with as soon as possible, because his control was only going to last so long. Sitting forward in his chair with his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped between them, he said, “I’ve talked to Lily, and we both believe that her best chance of survival is to draw Radovich to Moss Beach so that I can deal with him personally. I know Rado will be keeping tabs on the east coast for word about Lily. He’s got guys who know their way around our statewide communication systems even better than we do. I was thinking that if you could put out a statewide alert for a man matching his description in connection with a local investigation, then it should be enough to snag his attention without setting off any red flags with the military, since they still don’t know he’s the one who made the hit. But the second Radovich realizes I’m a deputy in your department, he’s going to know that Lily came to me for help.”

Ben looked unconvinced. “Will he really think we’re stupid enough to put out an alert like that and not expect him to find out about it?”

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks. Even if he figures out it’s a setup, he’s still going to come after her. That’s a given. Regardless of his reasons for wanting to kill her, he isn’t the type of man who can allow a woman to get one over on him and let it go unanswered. He’s too fucking arrogant for it.”

“And you’re both okay with this?” Ben asked, looking from one to the other.

Before she could say anything, Ryder grunted, “Yeah. We talked about it this morning.”

Ben shot her an odd look, as if surprised to hear that she’d agreed to the plan. And Lily, damn her, hardly gave the impression that she was on board with the idea. She looked too pale, the tightness around her mouth a dead giveaway that she was on edge.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Ben said, “It’s a hell of a risk, luring an international terrorist to our town, Ryder.”

“I know. But I’ll deal with the bastard when he shows. I don’t expect the department to take this on.”

“Christ,” Ben muttered with a scowl. “No one’s going to stand by and let you handle this on your own. But drawing him to your home isn’t going to play out well if something goes wrong. I don’t want you having to hit the road in order to fall off his radar and end up losing my best deputy.”

“Nothing’s going to go wrong. I made the mistake of leaving that asshole to die once. I won’t do it again. This time I’m making sure he’s in pieces before I walk away.”

If Ben thought that was a bloodthirsty plan, he didn’t show it. He simply asked, “And then what?”

Ryder was careful not to look in her direction. “Then I’ll go back to work at the station and Lily can get back to her life in Virginia.”

Ben sighed, cutting an almost sympathetic glance at Lily. Ryder didn’t know what kind of expression she was wearing now, since he refused to look at her, but judging by the look on Ben’s face it wasn’t good. His boss looked like there was a lot he wanted to say, but knew better than to even try, and Ryder was grateful for his silence. He knew the next time he and Ben were alone he’d probably be getting an earful about God only knew what. But at least the guy was keeping his opinions to himself for the moment. The sheriff’s only question was, “You going to stay in the county’s safe house?”

“We have a safe house?” Ryder asked with surprise.

Ben grimaced. “Yeah, though the previous sheriff only used it as a place to house his latest mistress. I’ve slotted it for sale, since the county has no use for it. And I sure as hell have no need of the place. But it could come in handy in this situation. The security is tight, and there are cameras set up for outside surveillance.”

“I’ll think about it,” he replied, moving back to his feet. “We should be okay staying at my place for the next day or so, but it might be a good idea by the time we’re expecting Radovich.”

Ben nodded his head in agreement. “Just let me know if you change your mind and want to head over earlier. I’ll get someone from the station to drop the keys off at your place, and the house will be yours.”

FOUR

GLAD TO BE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE, RYDER CLIMBED into the Jeep, put the key in the ignition, and cranked the engine.

“Now what?” Lily asked, as she closed the Jeep’s passenger door and buckled her seat belt.

Reversing out of the drive, he said, “We need to get your things from the motel.”

“It won’t take long, because I don’t have much. When I ran, I barely had enough time to grab some money and clothes. The only reason I have my toiletries and birth control pills is because they were already in my pack. I didn’t even have time to get my cell phone.”

Birth control pills? Fuck. He wasn’t touching that subject with a ten-foot pole.

When she’d rolled over on the bed that morning, after he’d spanked her, her panties had still been around her knees, but he deliberately hadn’t looked. He’d known that staring at her glossy little bush and maybe even catching a glimpse of the pink folds between her legs was something he couldn’t risk. If he had, it would have been nearly impossible to walk away. And if he’d known she might let him fuck her without a condom . . . Christ. He wouldn’t have stood a chance in hell.

Three years might have passed since he’d last seen her, but the passage of time hadn’t lessened the way he felt about her. In a different lifetime, he would have wanted to thoroughly imprint himself on the woman. To mark her. Ink his claim into her blood and bones, so that he could own every part of her. But that wasn’t the fucking answer. Not in this lifetime. She was too damn young to know what she’d be signing up for with him. And he was too messed up to handle her. Trying to deal with her would drive him bat-shit crazy, and no doubt end up making her hate him within a month. Maybe even weeks. He’d want to tie her up and never let her go. Not for sex, though he definitely liked the idea of her bound and at his mercy. But just to keep her . . . safe. To keep her with him, so she couldn’t ever slip away.

A healthy relationship required trust. Something Ryder knew he didn’t and would never have in him. Not for her . . . and not for himself. And it wasn’t because he didn’t have it in him to stay faithful to a woman he loved and keep his dick in his pants. It was the sheer fact that he would never trust himself not to be a controlling, manipulative asshole.

That, and the fact that he’d be willing to destroy the goddamn world if it meant keeping her safe. If he ever doubted it, all he had to do was remember Minsk and the night his fucking face got ripped open. Then it became pretty fucking clear.

With the short conversation about her things at the motel over, he drove with the radio playing low, the windows down, enjoying the milder weather now that it was easing deeper into fall. He wanted to keep his mouth shut and just enjoy the calm while he kept his eye out for anyone following them. But he couldn’t do it. There was something he had to say.

“Listen, about Mike.” He scrubbed one hand over the top of his head, then dropped it back to the wheel. “Don’t fall for his I’m just a good ol’ boy routine. He goes through women even faster than Jace did.” Jace had been a member of the old unit, and the biggest womanizer the state of Virginia had probably ever seen.

Though he kept his eyes on the road, he could feel the heat of her stare as she turned her head to look at him. “You’re telling me this why?”

“I noticed the way he looked at you back at Ben’s.”

“Hmm. I didn’t notice,” she murmured, sounding uninterested and like she had something else on her mind. “He was nice, but he’s not really my type.”

Ryder snorted, finding that hard to believe. Mike was six-four, dark-haired, and green-eyed, with a face and body that probably stopped women in the street when they saw him. And there wasn’t a single scar that he knew of on the cocky jackass.

She looked his way again. “What? You don’t believe me?”

Rolling his shoulder, he said, “Come on, Lily. The guy’s a fucking Adonis.”

“Yeah?” She lifted her brows when he glanced at her. “You got the hots for him?”

He grunted something gritty under his breath. “No, but I’ve got eyes.”

Lily bit her tongue, wanting to tell him that he might have eyes, but he still couldn’t see what was right in front of his face. Not that it would do her any good. “Well, don’t worry about Mike. I’m not going to embarrass you by throwing myself at him or anything. I doubt I’ll ever even see him again.”

He gave another masculine grunt, and they went back to not talking, until she said, “You don’t think Radovich would do anything to your sister, do you?” She’d never met Ryder’s sister, Shelby, but she’d read about her in his file. They had different mothers and hadn’t grown up together, but when Shelby had been a teenager she’d tracked him down, determined to have a relationship with the brother she’d never even met. She sounded gutsy and loyal, and Lily had a feeling that she’d have really liked her if they’d ever gotten a chance to know each other. She went on, saying, “Some of the things Ben said have got me worrying about it.”

“I don’t think he’d target her.” Stopping at a red light, he turned his head and caught her gaze. “But to be safe I called her in the middle of the night and told her to stay with friends until this is over. She wasn’t happy about it, but I promised her it wouldn’t be for long.”

Oh. So getting rid of her quickly wasn’t the only reason he’d sped up the time frame with Rado. Knowing that made her feel a little better. Not much, but a little.

“I also made calls to the other guys in the old unit.”

“What did you tell them?”

“I kept it short and simple. Just let them know to watch their backs and keep their eyes open. I didn’t mention Rado by name, but they know to be on high alert until I get back to them and give the all clear.”

They reached the town’s cheapest motel minutes later, parking the Jeep in the crowded lot at the side of the long, rectangular building, and then made their way through the front entrance. Lily was pulling the card key out of her pocket, when a woman’s keening cries of pleasure echoed from the room across the hallway. “Wow. Someone sounds like they’re having a good time,” she murmured, sliding him a laughing look.

A grim smile twisted his mouth. “You just couldn’t ignore it, could you?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” She gave a soft laugh as she unlocked the door. They stepped into the room’s narrow hallway, the bathroom on their right, the bed around the corner, out of sight. She shut the door behind him, then turned and leaned back against it.

“What?” he asked warily, studying the look on her face.

“Nothing.” With a little grin, she said, “It’s just that I always wanted to be in a sleazy motel room with you.”

His expression tightened. “Stop talking shit like that.”

“Sorry,” she offered with a shrug. “You asked. I was just being honest.”

He caught her arm as she started to move past him, forcing her to look up at him. “You really wanted me to fuck you in a cheap motel room?”

His rough voice was thick with disbelief, and Lily made sure to put as much conviction into her gaze as she could as she returned his stare. “Sorry to disillusion you, but despite my tender years, my Scott Ryder fantasies weren’t all pink and sweet and idyllic. Yeah, I liked the idea of being held in your arms all night, your body inside mine, while you made love to me. But sometimes . . . sometimes I just wanted you to put me against a door and make me come so hard I screamed, while people out in the hallway could hear every sound.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, the grip on her arm tightening. She thought he was going to push her away, but she suddenly found herself pinned against the bathroom door instead. Then he loomed over her, his face right above hers as he stared down at her. Into her.

With his chest rising and falling from his hard breaths, he squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck,” he whispered, his voice tight and low.

“What’s wrong, Scott? Did I shock you?”

His lashes lifted, and he glared from beneath his dark brows. “Shut up, Lily.”

It was probably good advice. But she wasn’t going to take it. “You know what? You’ve got a bad habit of bossing people around. If you want me to shut up, you’re going to have to make me.”

His hands speared into her hair, curving around her head as he tilted her face back. “Jesus! You just don’t know when to fucking quit, do you?” he growled. And then his lips were on her lips, his mouth claiming hers in a hard, violent kiss that was deep and wet and screamingly good. As far as first kisses went, she would have been willing to bet every penny to her name that this one topped the scale. He knew how to do things with his mouth that should have been freaking illegal, the raw, devastating hunger she could taste on his lips and tongue making her whimper with need. He kept complete control, tasting every part of her, the way he breathed and groaned and held her tighter as he sucked on her tongue letting her know exactly how much he was enjoying it.

“Scott,” she panted, when he let her come up for air. “I need you so—”

“Don’t make me say it again. Shut up, Lily.” Ryder licked his bottom lip, tasting her there, and went back for a deeper taste of her intoxicating mouth. He didn’t want to hear what she needed. He just wanted to keep losing himself in her, pretending there wasn’t a mountain of reasons why he should stay the fuck away from her. Moving one hand to her ass and the other across her back, he kept her against him as he turned and went down on his knees, then laid her on the carpeted floor. He’d followed her down, his mouth still eating at hers as if she were some kind of fucking necessity, like water or air. But he couldn’t let her be something that he needed, and he had to make sure she understood that going in. So when he finally pulled back for a ragged breath, he looked her right in the eye and forced himself to say, “This is just sex. Do you understand that?”

“Whatever,” she groaned, gripping his hair as she tried to yank him back to her. “Just don’t stop. God, don’t stop.”

Stop? He couldn’t have stopped if the cheap-as-shit ceiling crashed down on their heads. He’d wanted this for too damn long, and now that he had the feel and the taste of her under his mouth and hands, he couldn’t get enough of it. The way she responded to him was so fucking hot, it only made him that much more desperate to have her, his cock hardening to the point of pain. Christ, his goddamn hands were shaking.

Shoving her shirt up, he pulled the cups of her bra down and straddled her hips on his knees. Then he stared down at her pale, pink-tipped breasts. Hard. “Jesus,” he groaned, curving his hands under the tender mounds. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

“You like them?” she whispered shakily.

“I fucking love them. Your tits are perfect, Lily. Fucking perfect.” He lowered his head, rubbing his nose between the soft, firm mounds, then turned his head and blindly took one of her tight, pink nipples into his mouth and sucked on her, working the delicious peak with his tongue. He hadn’t spent nearly enough time doing this when he’d had her against his front door the night before. There was no way to describe how goddamn incredible she tasted or smelled, her scent making him light-headed, while the taste of her skin just made him fucking hard as nails. At this rate he was going to do some kind of permanent damage to himself if he didn’t get inside her, his head only getting lighter as what felt like every ounce of his blood rushed to his dick.

Using one hand to lift her breast to his mouth, Ryder ran the other down her side, loving the way she trembled when he swept the curve of her hip then pushed his hand between her legs, palming her through her shorts.

“I need to touch you,” he panted, ripping at the button on her shorts then yanking them down with her panties. It wasn’t easy, since he couldn’t stop sucking on those firm, perfect tits long enough to move away, but he managed to get them past her knees. She helped him with the rest, working one foot free so that he could spread her legs wide and move between them. His hand went straight to her pussy, and this time there was nothing to keep him from stroking her bare skin, her tender folds slippery and warm beneath his callused fingertips.

“You’re so fucking soft,” he groaned against her breast, sinking a finger inside her. Then another. He nipped at her, then dragged his tongue across her shiny nipple. “Soft and tight and drenched.”

“I want you. So much. I always have,” Lily moaned, breathless, her hips arching against his hand, his long fingers driving her wild. “Now get your damn shirt off so I can look at you. I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t get to see how beautiful you are.”

“Christ. Don’t say that,” he grunted, sitting up just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it behind him before bracing himself back over her on one muscular arm, while his other hand reached between her legs again.

Staring up into his rugged features, Lily thought the expression on his face was so strange. He looked outrageously pissed, but . . . fascinated, as if he liked what he was doing but . . . but didn’t want to like it.

“Are you always like this when you want a man?” he asked her, thrusting his slick fingers back inside her.

She shook her head, gasping as he reached even deeper, the base of his fingers stretching her tight flesh even wider.

His fingers instantly stilled, a small crease wedged between his brows. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “It’s just that you’re stretching me. A lot.”

“I know.” He started rubbing her swollen, sensitive clit with the callused tip of his thumb. “Now come.”

She blinked as he came down over her, the feel of his hard, muscular chest pressing against her breasts bringing another gasp to her lips. “What?”

“You heard me.” His voice was a dark, dangerous rasp in her ear. “Come. Now. Let me feel it.”

Before she could tell him that she didn’t know how to orgasm on demand, he had his mouth back on her breasts, sucking and licking at her tight nipples until she could feel each rhythmic pull of his mouth between her legs, mirrored inside her sex and her clit. She was pulsing around his pumping fingers in a snug, wet clinch, the thrashing sound of her heartbeat roaring in her ears, growing steadily louder, until it all crashed down on her in a shocking, wrenching eruption of pleasure that had her sobbing and shouting, the muscles in her sex clamping around him so strongly he could barely move his fingers inside her. She had her nails buried in the hard muscles in his shoulders, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she rode out the powerful waves, surging along with the crazy swells until she was finally floating in a calm, mellow lake of bliss. Her body felt steeped in heat, and she was so wet between her legs she could hear the slick sound it made when he eventually pulled his fingers free.

Seconds later, she heard him growl deep in his throat, the angry, guttural sound bringing her eyes open just in time to see him pulling one of the long fingers he’d had inside her out of his mouth. She cringed, wondering what was wrong with her, when he snarled, “You shouldn’t be allowed to taste like this. It’s fucking unreal.”

Oh! Um, then what was the problem? She shook her head with confusion. “And that pisses you off why exactly?”

“Because now,” he bit out, licking off the glistening juices that shone on his other finger, “the taste of your cunt is all I’ll be able to think about.”

She started to smile, but ended up gasping instead when he suddenly growled again . . . and shoved his face against the very place where his fingers had been. Her back arched as she felt his clever tongue hungrily licking between her drenched folds, and then pushing up inside her, unable to believe how wickedly good it felt. He was working her with a hot, delicious tongue-fuck, his hands digging into her thighs so tightly she knew she’d be bruised. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to keep feeling this forever, the reality of having Ryder’s mouth on her so much more mind-blowing than anything she’d ever imagined. It was heart-stopping. Would have ruined her for other men if he hadn’t already done that all those years ago, without ever even laying a hand on her.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he groaned, suckling her clit as he shoved those two fingers back inside her, and Lily could feel that blinding, blissful madness start to overtake her all over again. She came screaming this time, hands gripping his hair, pumping herself against his face in a shameless need for more as he replaced his fingers with his tongue, moving it in and out of her. She shouted his name, holding nothing back from him. Not even the parts she knew he didn’t want. That she doubted he even thought about, like her heart. But she wasn’t going to let that stop her.

“Get inside me,” she panted, struggling for breath as she blinked him into focus and watched him slowly lift his head from between her legs, his mouth wet with her juices. He flicked his tongue across his top lip, then the bottom one, so unbelievably sexy she felt a fresh wave of heat and need flood her body, melting her down. “Please, Scott. I can’t wait. Don’t make me wait. Just do it.”

• • •

AS LILY’S HUSKY words echoed through his head, Ryder suddenly flinched. He felt like a bucket of ice water had just been thrown in his face. Jesus. What the hell had he done?

“We have to stop,” he said in a low voice, knowing he had to get away from her. That instant. Before he took this someplace they couldn’t go.

“Stop?” She blinked, looking confused. Not to mention completely adorable, with her shirt tucked up under her chin and her face all flushed from her orgasms. “Now?”

Hell yes now. Before he lost what little control he still had left. “We can’t do this here. We’ve got to go, Lil.”

“Go?” she whispered, bracing herself on her elbows as he sat back on his heels and reached for his shirt. She watched him pull it on, then shook her head, sending the strawberry blond waves spilling over her shoulders. “I thought we were having sex. You said, ‘This is just sex.’”

His voice came out like a snarl. “We did.”

“Did what?”

“Have sex,” he muttered, careful not to look any lower than her face.

“Then did I miss something?” she asked slowly, starting to sound pissed. “Because I have a feeling I’d know if your dick was inside me. I seriously doubt that’s something that would go unnoticed, even if you weren’t huge. Which I could easily tell you are when you were grinding against me this morning!”

“You got oral sex,” he grated, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his mouth. “And you came twice. So why the hell are you complaining?”

Her eyes went wide, just before she suddenly scrambled away from him. She used the fall of her hair to hide her face as she quickly sorted out her panties and shorts. “Oral sex!” she muttered under her breath, lifting the cups of her bra before tugging down her shirt. “I can’t believe you!”

He glared at her as they moved back to their feet, his dick so hard he knew he was going to be in hell until they finally made it back to his place, where he could grab a freezing-cold shower. Not that it would help. Now that he knew how fucking sweet she tasted, and how hot and wet her tight little pussy could get for him, he doubted anything but a long, hard, bed-breaking fuck would sort him out. Which meant he was seriously screwed, because he needed to keep his goddamn hands, as well as his dick, off her. Not in her!

Shoving his hair back from his brow, he stepped closer and got right in her face. Well, over her face, since he was so much taller than she was. “What is your problem?” he demanded. “It’s not like I left you hanging. You came so hard you were screaming and damn near yanking my hair out!” Which he’d loved every second of, and wanted again. The sooner the better.

“Yes, your tongue is incredible and you made me come,” she seethed, her green eyes glittering with fire, hands fisted at her sides. “That’s not the point. The point is that I thought you were offering more. I thought I was getting the complete act, with you over me, holding me down, fucking my brains out!”

He scowled, determined not to let her know how much her words affected him. “Where the hell did you learn to talk like that?”

She looked ready to stomp her foot with frustration. “Like what? An adult? A woman? News flash, Scott: I grew up. A long time ago. You need to get your head out of your ass and realize I’m not that gangly seventeen-year-old you met all those years ago.”

“I know you’re not seventeen.” His hooded gaze did a swift pass down her body, before locking back on hers. “And you’re sure as hell not gangly.”

“Then stop treating me like I need a time-out.”

“I’m just trying to be . . . realistic.”

This time Lily was the one who made a sound like a growl. “God, you are so frustrating!” She fought the urge to kick him in the shin, figuring she’d end up breaking a toe in her sandals, and forced herself to turn around instead. She was standing at the end of the small hallway now, and the instant she faced the room she had to reach out and brace her hand against the wall. “Oh, shit.”

“Son of a bitch!” he snarled from just behind her, obviously staring over her head and getting his first look at her room as well. The next thing she knew he had her trapped between his back and the wall, protecting her with his tall body, a gleaming black 9mm gripped in his powerful hand. She blinked, shocked that she hadn’t realized he had the gun tucked into the back of his jeans. He kept her behind him as he edged toward the side of the closet, kicking it open with his foot, making sure no one was hiding inside. He did the same with the bathroom, snapping for her to stay plastered to his back as he checked behind the curtains and under the bed. Only when he was certain the room was clear did he turn around and glare down into her eyes, the scar on his face turning white with his anger. “I swear to God, Lily. You make me lose my fucking mind.” His deep voice was low and clipped. “I can’t believe I was eating you out on the goddamn floor when there’s a psycho killer on your ass!”

“You think it was Rado’s men who trashed the room?”

He didn’t answer the question, a muscle pulsing hard in his jaw as he looked away from her, taking in the destruction. The bed and pillows had been slashed, the pieces scattered all over the floor, along with the smashed drawers from the upturned dresser and nightstands. Whoever had done this wanted to scare her. It was textbook crime movie stuff, meant to incite panic and fear.

“Get what you need and do it quickly,” he said in a flat voice. “We need to get out of here.”

“Do you think they’re still here?”

“I think they’re probably watching the place. So we need to move. Now!” He slipped the gun into the back of his jeans again and grabbed the small, cheap duffel bag that she’d bought a few days ago, shoving her scattered clothes into it. She ran into the bathroom, grabbing the makeup she’d left on the counter, giving it to him to toss into the bag with her clothes. Then he threw the strap over his shoulder, grabbed her hand, and pulled her toward the door. “We’re heading to the Jeep from the side exit and you’re staying right behind me. Understood?”

She nodded at his back, trying to get control of her fear, knowing it wasn’t going to help anything.

His voice was hard and rough as he shot her a sharp look over his shoulder. “Tell me you understand, Lily.”

She huffed at his tone. “I understand. I’m not stupid.”

“Stupid, no,” he muttered, opening the door and carefully checking the corridor in both directions. “But you are definitely stubborn as hell.”

She bit her tongue, knowing better than to argue with him as she followed him to the side exit. He kept checking to make sure they were alone, and despite the potential danger, she felt safe because she was with him. He crouched down, quietly telling her to do the same, as they made their way into the full parking lot. They stayed behind one of the rows of cars as they headed toward the Jeep, the lot thankfully empty of other people. She’d just started to breathe a little easier, thinking they were going to make it, when two thugs came out of nowhere. One second she was behind Ryder, his strong hand wrapped around her wrist, and in the next he’d shoved her to the ground, ordering her to hide under the SUV they were in front of as he dropped her bag and faced off against the two dark-haired assholes.

She didn’t hide. She was too terrified for his safety to do more than crouch by the SUV’s bumper, ready to help him if she could, but worried that she’d only be in his way. It’d been so long since she’d seen him fight—she’d always loved to spy on his sparring sessions when she’d been younger—and she briefly wondered if it would be like she remembered . . . or if civilian living would have lessened his skill and intensity. But she’d been stupid to question his abilities for even that brief second. He wasn’t as good as he’d been, he was even better, his body moving with a powerful, lethal grace as he immediately went on the offensive. He smashed his elbow into one guy’s face, blood spurting from the man’s crushed nose as he flipped the thug over his shoulder and slammed his booted foot into the jaw of the other one. Then the guy with the gushing nose fired a wayward shot from the gun he’d yanked off his ankle, making her scream, but Ryder was in full control. He didn’t even have to pull his own weapon. He simply spun, grabbed the gun, and tore it from the man’s hand while slamming his knee into his groin. As the guy doubled over, snarling something in a Slavic language, Ryder punched him in the face, knocking him out just as the other one jumped on his back. Within seconds he had the man flipped over his head and sprawled across the hot asphalt. With a well-placed kick into the bastard’s face, Ryder left him in the same shape as his partner, both of the idiots bleeding and unconscious.

Shoving the thug’s gun into her bag, Ryder threw the strap back over his shoulder and took a death grip on her hand, jerking her to her feet and hustling her toward the Jeep. He didn’t waste any time getting her inside, then made his way around the front, tossed her bag in the back, and climbed behind the wheel.

“Now what?” she asked, gripping the seat belt with both hands as she watched him crank the engine.

“Rado has obviously figured out where you’re at,” he said, not even winded from the fight, though he flexed his right hand as if it was sore, before curling it around the steering wheel. “That means he most likely knows you’re here with me. We have to assume that my place is being watched.”

Her grip on the seat belt tightened. “Which means what?”

His expression was grim as he turned his head and looked out the back window, peeling out of the parking space so fast the tires squealed in protest. “It means we can’t go back there,” he grunted, giving her a hard look before accelerating out of the lot. “So I’m taking you to that safe house.”

FIVE

AS RYDER STEERED THE JEEP THROUGH TOWN, LILY LISTENED to him talk to Ben on his phone. He told the sheriff what had happened, then arranged to have a patrol car sent to the motel, though he doubted Rado’s men would still be there. She knew if she hadn’t been with him that he would have taken the time to question and arrest them himself. Hell, if they’d tried to hurt her, instead of jumping him, they would have ended up dead. But he’d left them because he’d wanted to get her out of there as quickly as possible, his protective instincts making her heart beat just that tiny bit faster, even though she was still upset that he’d ended things in the motel room before making love to her. The way she saw it, if a man wasn’t willing to have sex with you after going down on you, then the odds were high that he just didn’t want you. That hurt. So much that she couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him after he’d ended the call, her arms wrapped tight around her middle as she tried to put on a brave face.

But it wasn’t easy when she felt like a freaking idiot for running to him with her whole I need to sleep with Ryder before I die plan. What on earth had she been thinking? The guy had made it clear that he didn’t want to get down and dirty with her. Yeah, he’d made her come, but maybe that’d just been because he felt bad for not wanting her the way she wanted him. Which just made her pathetic. She wrapped her arms around herself a little bit tighter and stared out the window.

“The safe house is in the Westbrook neighborhood, on the north side of town,” he murmured, breaking the silence. “I have to swing by the station to get the keys, but that should only take a minute. Ben’s making arrangements for some extra security at the house, but we should beat them there.”

Without looking at him, she asked, “Who’s he sending over?”

He lifted his shoulder in a shrug, repeatedly checking the rearview mirror to make sure no one was following them. “I don’t know. But once they get there, I’m going to head back over to my place to pick up a few things.”

“Won’t that be dangerous?”

He shook his head. “Not if I go in on my own. I’ll be quick, and I know how to get in without being seen. I’ll also grab the stuff that you left in the guest room while I’m there.” As if he expected her to argue, he added, “But I won’t be gone long.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, figuring he was itching to get away from her. “Just do what you need to do. But be careful.”

She could feel the questioning force of his gaze as he turned his head to glance at her, before looking back at the road. But he didn’t say anything, and neither did she.

Thirty minutes later, they were pulling into the driveway of a Spanish-style, single-story house at the edge of a well-to-do neighborhood. Lily wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but she could understand Ben wanting to unload this place off the city’s budget if there wasn’t any need for it. Ryder drove up the flower-lined driveway, parking around the side of the house, and they made their way in through the side door using the keys he’d picked up on the way there. They took the time to do a walk-through, familiarizing themselves with the floor plan, and Lily told him she would like to take the smallest of the three bedrooms, so long as it was okay with him. She’d decided she liked its bathroom the best because of the gray and white tiles that covered the floor and the walls. They were similar to the tiles in the bathroom she had in her apartment back in Virginia, and she was desperate for anything that reminded her of home.

Picking her bag up from where Ryder had set it down by the sectional sofa in the living room, she said, “If you don’t need me for anything, I’m going to go ahead and grab a shower.”

“Another one?” he asked, pushing his hands in his front pockets as they eyed each other across the room. Her hair had still been damp when they’d left his house that morning, so he knew she’d taken one before getting dressed.

Deciding she wasn’t going to tiptoe around the issue, she gave him an honest answer. “My bare ass was on that grungy motel room carpet. I’ll feel a lot better when I’ve scoured myself with some soap and hot water.”

His gaze got a little sharper, as well as his tone. “You didn’t seem to care at the time.”

Lily snorted. “Trust me, once the glow faded and I realized what a liar you are, it’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

Before Ryder could argue his side of things, she left the room, closing the bedroom door behind her. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his eyes, a frustrated curse on his lips. Too wound up to sit down, he paced the length of the room a few times, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do about her. He still hadn’t come up with an answer when someone knocked on the front door. Rather than check the security cameras in the control room, he walked over and looked through the peephole, another gritty curse on his lips when he saw Mike Hudson standing out on the doorstep.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he growled, after jerking the door open.

“I’m your second set of hands,” Mike replied, a crooked grin kicking up the edge of his mouth.

Ryder’s eyes widened. “You are fucking shitting me.”

The jackass laughed as he stepped past him into the house, carrying several shopping bags in each hand, the strap of a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. “’Fraid not, super soldier.”

“I’m killing your brother.” He shut the door and locked it before turning to face the grinning pretty boy.

Setting the bags down in the tiled entryway, Mike’s tone was wry as he said, “This isn’t exactly how I wanted to spend my days off, so suck it up and be thankful that I said yes. You could have ended up with Alex.”

Ryder winced. Ben’s older brother was a good guy, but even more quiet and brooding than he was. The two of them together would have probably driven Lily crazy within an hour.

Then again, he was pretty sure that Alex wouldn’t hit on her, since that wasn’t his style.

As if he could read his mind, Mike laughed. “Before you suggest a trade, Alex is out of town on one of his P.I. cases. So I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. But there are groceries in a few of these,” he said, nodding toward the bags on the floor, “and I’ll even make dinner tonight. Nothing fancy, but I can do a mean Mexican spread. There’s lunch and breakfast stuff, too.”

Ryder crossed his arms over his chest, holding back another wince when he realized he and Lily still hadn’t eaten that day. Shit. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten to feed her. Pissed that he obviously hadn’t been thinking as clearly as he’d thought he was, he asked, “And what’s with all the other crap you’ve brought with you?”

Mike flashed his dimples. “I picked up a few things for Lily.”

“What kind of things?” He darted a suspicious look at the bags.

“I just stopped by a few stores in town and grabbed her some stuff. Jeans and tops. Things like that. Figured she wouldn’t have much, what with being on the run and all. And Reese sent over some books and movies that she thought she might enjoy.”

He grunted in response, wanting to tell Mike to take his “stuff” and shove it up his ass. But he knew Lily probably needed some more things to wear, especially since most of the clothing she’d had back at the motel was likely to be in bad shape after all that destruction. He just wished he’d thought of it himself.

When a half hour had gone by and she still hadn’t come out of her room, he went and knocked on her door, telling her that Mike was there. She came out dressed in jeans and a tight tank, her friendly smile for Mike setting his teeth on edge. Then Mike gave her the stuff he’d bought for her, and she actually hugged the jackass, making Ryder want to smash Mike’s perfect face in with his fist. After that, he’d figured he’d be in a tense, pissed-off mood for the rest of the day, but he eventually mellowed out when he realized she was treating Mike the same way she’d treated the guys in her dad’s unit—one of those friendly, big brother, asexual ways. He’d been the only one of Heller’s Hellions she hadn’t cut up with easily, and he’d never let himself think about why, knowing the answer could have been damn dangerous to his control. Either she’d been scared of him, or she’d wanted him, and he hadn’t wanted to know which it was at the time.

After they ate some sandwiches and chips, he made the quick trip over to his place for their things, the fact that she was alone with Mike motivating him to move even faster. He talked to Ben again on the phone while he was gone, giving him hell about the Mike situation, which had made Ben laugh, before they got down to the serious stuff. Ben told him that the thugs he’d left in the parking lot had been gone when the deputies arrived. The sheriff had all the available deputies in the county searching the town for any sign of Rado and his crew, and they hoped it wouldn’t be long before they had his location.

When Ryder made it back to the safe house, it felt good to see Lily’s obvious relief, though he tried not to let it show. But from the wry look on Mike’s face, he knew he’d done a shit job of it. The next few hours were spent going over all the security systems in the house, and he explained to Lily that Ben had deputies canvassing the town, searching for any signs of Radovich and his men.

Around six, the two of them helped Mike make dinner, filling the house with the spicy scents of cumin and cilantro. The more she and Mike cut up with each other, the quieter Ryder got, beginning to feel like the proverbial third wheel. Especially when they discovered that they loved the same movies and started jawing about actors and screenwriters. But he suffered in silence, determined not to complain, knowing it would just make him look like a jealous loser. Unfortunately, his patience didn’t last past the beginning of the meal. Lily carried their cold Coronas over to the table in the breakfast nook, taking the seat by the window, while Ryder brought over their plates. When he set her rice and tacos down in front of her, she looked up at him with a deadpan expression and asked, “Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?”

He sent her a quizzical look, remembering it was her favorite, while Mike snorted on the other side of the table and said, “Lips would be fine.”

Lily giggled. Mike smiled. And Ryder lost the tenuous hold on his temper. “What the hell is so funny?”

Before Lily could explain, Mike shouted, “Line!” and she ended up laughing so hard that tears filled her eyes.

“I swear to God,” Ryder bit out. “What the fuck is going on?”

“They’re just movie quotes,” she gasped, trying to stop laughing. “From The Three Amigos.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, exhaling a rough breath, then shoved his hand back through his hair and scowled. “Never heard of it,” he muttered, feeling like an idiot as he dropped into his chair.

Lily blinked. “Ohmygod! Steve Martin. Martin Short. Chevy Chase. El Guapo and the ‘Look up here’ scene. Have you really never seen it? Are you serious?”

His response was dry. “As a heart attack.”

With a sympathetic shake of her head, she reached over and laid her hand on top of his. “We’ll have to fix this. As soon as we’re done with this Rado nightmare, I’m buying a copy so we can watch it.”

He looked at her hand, making her aware of what she’d said and done, then lifted his gaze back to hers and slowly arched a brow. She looked away as she pulled her hand back, reaching for her beer and quickly changing the subject. Ryder remained silent as he ate his food, irritated with himself as he listened to her and Mike talk about their families and where they’d grown up.

“And your mom?” Mike asked, after wiping his face with his napkin. “Where is she?”

Pushing the rice on her plate around with her fork, she said, “She died when I was five.”

Mike winced. “Damn, I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” She gave him a little smile. “It was a long time ago.”

“So were you one of those teens who gave her old man gray hair?”

“In some respects, probably. But he was a great dad. I’m going to miss the hell out of him.”

Ryder fisted his hand on the tabletop, fighting the impulse to reach over and pull her onto his lap, where he could hold her close and comfort her.

“Jesus. I’m sorry. Again,” Mike murmured, looking more than a little pissed at himself as he leaned back in his chair. “I wasn’t thinking. You just lost him, and here I am bringing him up. I’m an ass.”

Shaking her head, she said, “No, it’s okay. He wouldn’t have wanted everyone acting all maudlin.” She was putting on a brave face. But the pain in her voice was unmistakable. “It actually feels good to talk about him.”

“You were close?”

She took another drink of her beer, then gave a soft laugh. “Yeah. I probably drove him crazy at times with all the nutty stuff I would do”—she flashed a look at Ryder that he didn’t quite know what to make of, then turned her gaze back to Mike—“but I settled down once I moved out. I don’t feel the need to push the limits anymore.”

Ryder had a feeling she was trying to explain something to him, but Mike’s next question snagged his attention before he could figure out what it was. “And what about men?”

Her head went back as she gave another laugh, this one richer and deeper. “What about them?”

Mike shot Ryder a knowing look as he leaned forward and braced his crossed arms on the table. Then he grinned at Lily as he asked, “Any significant others?”

Ryder tensed in anticipation of her response, but Lily just smirked and turned the tables on Mike. “Any in your life?”

The idiot flashed his dimples. “That would be ladies in my case, not men. And the answer is not yet. But I wouldn’t turn my back on her if I found her,” he admitted, grabbing his Corona again and tilting the bottle up to his lips. He gave Ryder another quick look that set his teeth on edge, and he suddenly wondered if Ben had sent his brother there with the express instructions to irritate the crap out of him.

“So what about you?” Mike asked her.

Ryder held his breath and kept his gaze on the table. But he was watching her from the corner of his eye as he waited for her to answer the question.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she said, “No one . . . significant. I’ve kept pretty busy with work and school, so it feels as if my time hasn’t really been my own until now.”

“What do you do?”

“I studied art history at school, which my dad didn’t think was at all practical, so I also majored in graphic design. I’ve been doing some freelance work the past few years and have been making good money. I’d taken off until January so that I could go on this boat trip with my dad, visiting a bunch of different places, but when we got back I was planning to open my own business.” With a little shrug, she added, “I guess that’s still the plan, once this whole . . . situation is over.”

While they continued to chat, Ryder lost himself in his own thoughts, only half listening to the conversation as it steered toward Mike’s work. He couldn’t let go of the way Lily had brushed off Mike’s question about boyfriends, wondering whom she’d dated after he’d left. If it turned out to be any of the guys from his old unit, he figured he’d probably end up killing them. Or at least tracking them down and making it clear why they’d be smart to never go near her again. There’d been so many times, over the years, when he’d been tempted to put his hacking skills to good use and keep electronic tabs on her from afar. But he’d been fully aware of his own weakness. He never would have been able to handle reading about her with another man.

But it didn’t mean he wasn’t curious as hell about what she’d been up to.

After they cleaned up the kitchen, Lily thanked Mike for an awesome dinner then told them both goodnight, saying that she wanted to read for a while before crashing. Ryder bit the inside of his cheek as he watched her walk away, knowing it would only have led to trouble if she’d stayed. Mike was heading off to better familiarize himself with the surveillance equipment in the control room, which meant he and Lily would have been on their own. Considering what had happened when they’d been alone in her motel room, it was smart to keep some distance between them. But that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he tried, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and used the house’s fitness room for a grueling workout on weights. He then ran five miles on the treadmill, pushing himself to go faster than his usual pace. But it didn’t help take his mind off Lily and the reason they were hiding out there. He was still jacked up on restless energy as he grabbed a shower in the bathroom attached to the bedroom he’d taken, which was right across the hall from Lily’s. He did his damnedest to stay away from her, but after two hours of fighting the inevitable, he finally gave in with a hoarse curse and crossed the hallway. Mike was taking the first watch, which meant he had until 4 a.m. to fucking lose himself in her. And since staying away appeared beyond his abilities, he planned to use every minute of the time he had.

He didn’t bother to knock, not willing to risk her telling him to go away. And she hadn’t locked the door. He opened it, keeping his grip on the handle as he walked in, then pushed it shut behind him, flipping the lock. His sharp gaze had found her surprised the second he’d opened the door, and he didn’t look away as he took a few steps toward the bed, his heart hammering in his chest like a heavy bass drum.

Christ. He’d been so sure he could keep this from happening, but he’d been an idiot. She’d barely been back in his life for twenty-four hours, and he was already here. In her room. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. Then he finally just said, “Fuck it.”

“What?”

“I said ‘Fuck it.’ I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you. I know I should, but it’s not gonna happen. So fuck it.”

Lily blinked as she set aside the book she’d been reading, unable to believe what he’d just said. She was so excited she wanted to squeal, but was terrified of ruining the moment. He was standing there dressed in nothing more than a well-worn pair of blue jeans that hung low on his hips, his body so gorgeous she was pretty sure she’d started drooling the second she set eyes on him. Broad shouldered. Long legged. Ripped and cut and lean, bringing to mind ancient warriors who fought to the death. She hated the scars that covered his tanned skin, but only because she knew that each mark held a history of violence and pain behind it. They didn’t detract from his beauty. If anything, they only made him more gorgeous in her eyes, since they were proof of how incredible he was. How brave and selfless and willing to put himself in harm’s way to protect others. God, if she’d been thinking clearly after her father’s murder, she would have figured out that Ryder would never let her get away from him once he knew her life was in danger. To do so would have gone against every natural instinct he possessed.

“Is that true?” she whispered, finally finding her voice again. “You can’t keep your hands off me?”

“Not unless you tell me no. You understand what I’m saying? You can always tell me no and I’ll leave you the hell alone.”

Pushing the covers back, she scrambled onto her knees. “No. I mean . . . that’s not what I want. I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

“Be sure, Lily. Because it isn’t going to be nice and easy. I’ve waited too long for it. And the same rules apply.” His hands flexed at his sides, his breathing getting deeper as he dragged that intensely erotic gaze down her body, then slowly up to her face again. His expression was raw-honed and deliciously male, full of primitive hunger and intent. “Just sex. That’s all I can give you.”

“Okay.” It wasn’t what she wanted, but when it came to this man she’d take what she could get.

His gaze got a little sharper. “You even know what that means?”

Her laugh was husky. “I’m not a starry-eyed virgin, Scott. I understand just sex.”

She could have sworn he’d flinched when she said the word virgin. “I don’t want to talk about . . . that,” he practically croaked, sounding like a boulder had lodged in his throat.

“Why?” she asked, her own gaze starting to get a little narrow. “You think I’m . . . what? Tarnished? A slut? Because after some of the things I heard Mike say about your reputation today, that would be pretty freaking rich coming from you.”

“I hardly expected you to live like a nun,” he growled, making a cutting motion with his hand as he stepped closer. “I left. You had every right to sleep with whatever guys you wanted. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill them.”

“Then I’ll be sure to keep the names to myself,” she offered with a quiet snort.

Something hard and male flashed in his eyes, his voice little more than a throaty whisper. “I could always fuck them out of you, Lil.”

Her pulse quickened. “You can certainly try.”

“Maybe I will,” he said, undoing the top button on his jeans.

Lily bit her lip, stunned by how freaking sexy he looked standing there glowering at her, his muscles bunched beneath his golden skin, his abs rippling as he came another step closer . . . and then another. His jeans were hanging even lower on his hips, the soft denim pulled taut by the massive erection it was trying to contain. He was right at the foot of the bed now, but she held out her hands, stopping him from coming any closer. “Wait!”

He’d started to undo the next button on his jeans, but his fingers stilled, his dark gaze locked hard on hers, waiting for her to speak.

Bracing herself for his answer, she asked, “Are you here because of Mike?”

His head jerked back, his straight brows drawn together in confusion. “What? Why the hell would you ask me that?”

“Because you were jealous,” she said daringly, searching his expression. “Is that why you’re here? Are you trying to rub it in his face that we’re together? To prove a point?”

He took a few hard, deep breaths, keeping her locked in his glittering stare. Then he growled, “I’m here because I couldn’t stay away. I don’t give a fuck about Mike. I just give a fuck about you.”

“Good. Then get rid of those jeans,” she said breathlessly, eyeing him hungrily as she moved her legs out from under her and whipped her tank off over her head.

He did just that, and the sight damn near stopped her heart. He swiftly shoved his jeans down, kicking them away, then turned to face her. With his hands fisted at his sides, he let her get a good long look. And, God, did she look. His erection sprang up against his ridged abs, hard and brutal and beautiful, with black hair curling at the base and two heavy testicles hanging low that were in perfect proportion to the rest of him.

It took her a moment to get her tongue working, but she finally managed to say, “Holy hell, you’re gorgeous.”

He immediately scowled. “Christ, Lily. You don’t have to lie.”

She shot him a stunned look. “You think I’m lying?”

“I’m no fucking oil painting,” he muttered, working his jaw. “I’m scarred inside and out.”

“You think I care about your scars? I hate that you were hurt, but they don’t change how I see you.”

He grunted, obviously deciding he was done talking. He crawled onto the foot of the bed, yanked her ankles between his knees and reached for her panties, ripping them down her legs and tossing them over the side of the bed. Then he ran his big hands down the insides of her trembling thighs, curved them around her knees, and shoved her legs apart, holding them that way as he knelt between them. And after that he just stopped . . . and stared, his chest rising and falling with the jagged rhythm of his breaths.

Resting back on her elbows, her face flushed with embarrassment to be so exposed, she finally asked, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t bother looking up as he answered the question, his heavy-lidded gaze fastened on the glistening pink folds of her sex. “I didn’t take the time to get a good long look at your pussy at the motel,” he said tightly. “Been regretting that ever since.”

She swallowed, her face burning even hotter as she felt her body respond to his sexy admission with a warm rush of moisture. She was swelling and softening like a ripe piece of fruit, her insides aching and empty, desperate for him to get on with it and take her. “Oh, God, hurry. Please. I can’t wait.”

“I know, baby. I’m desperate, too. But I have to get you ready.” He let go of one of her knees and slipped two fingers through her drenched slit, separating the puffy folds, then swirled the callused tips of his fingers around her clit.

“Now,” she snapped, falling to her back. “I mean it, Scott. I need you now!”

A low, gritty laugh rumbled in his chest as he came down over her, working those two big fingers into her opening. He gave a hard, wet suck to each of her nipples, then lifted higher. “Go on, Lil. Screech at me some more,” he whispered in her ear, nipping at the lobe. “Tell me you want me to fuck your tight little pussy.”

“I do,” she moaned, running her hands down his sleek, muscular back. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Say it.” He licked the side of her throat, pumping his fingers into her, then rubbing the moisture on them around her opening. “Say it exactly how I said it.”

She writhed, wanting him inside her so badly she was ready to scream. “Fine! I want you to fuck my tight little pussy. Now, damn it!”

He gave another one of those low, sexy laughs, and the instant she felt his broad, hot cockhead touching her vulva, her hips jerked up to take him in. But he held himself back, not letting her have it. “Do I need a condom?” he whispered in her ear, bracing himself on his elbows.

“What?”

“I’m clean. I get checked regularly, and I always, always use latex. But you said you were on the Pill. So I’m asking if you want me to wear a condom.”

“No. No condom. I want to feel you inside me, skin on skin. Every hard, thick inch of you.”

His breath left his lungs in a shuddering rush, and he reached down, positioning the flushed head of his cock at her opening. He rubbed it around a little, getting it wet with her lube, and driving her wild in the process. Her skin was hot, tingly, her breaths coming in short, sharp pants that should have been embarrassing, considering he wasn’t even inside her yet. But she didn’t care. She just wanted him. Needed him so badly she was going out of her mind.

“Don’t move!” he grated, when he finally started to push himself in. “Stay still!”

She gasped for air, burning up inside. “Why?”

He groaned, the thick sound rough and male. “Because if you don’t, this is going to be over before we even get started.”

“But I can’t stay still,” she moaned, gripping his hips as she tried to pull him deeper inside her.

“You will, damn it.” He captured her wrists and pulled them over her head. “You’re tight as a fucking fist, Lily. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she whispered, feeling desperate, knowing she only had one shot at getting this right. “Do it, Scott. Damn it, just do it. Please. I need you.” She knew she was begging, repeating herself. But she couldn’t help it. She meant every word. She’d never meant anything more.

He shuddered as he pressed forward, starting to work against her snug resistance as he bore down on her with his weight. Knowing she had to have the timing perfect, Lily waited until he’d pulled back and started pushing forward again before making her move. Lifting her head, she set her teeth into the tight tendon between his neck and shoulder and bit down just as she wound her legs around his hips and slammed her feet into his ass. He roared, jerking hard from the erotic bite, and rammed himself into her with so much force it made her scream. But his shout was even louder.

“What the FUCK, Lily?”

She gasped from the sting of pain as he wrenched back, pulling his cock completely out of her. He shook his head as he looked down, staring at his dick in disbelief, and Lily prayed the best night of her life wasn’t about to end in disaster.

SIX

WITH HER BREATH HELD TIGHT IN HER LUNGS, LILY WAITED for the explosion . . . but it never came. Instead, Ryder simply looked up at her and said, “There’s blood on my dick.” He didn’t sound exactly angry. But he didn’t sound particularly thrilled with the situation, either.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, aware of the heat rushing beneath her skin, burning in her face. “I was hoping that wouldn’t happen. I mean, not at my age.”

She could feel his hands shaking as he gripped her thighs, keeping her legs spread apart. He looked from her face, down to her swollen, tender entrance, then up to her face again. “What the fuck, Lily? How in God’s name are you still a virgin? You’re twenty-five years old.” His voice was getting harsher with each word. “What the fuck is going on?”

Swiping at the stupid tears she could feel leaking from her eyes, she said, “Look, I know it’s stupid. Just drop it. Please.”

Ignoring her plea, he reached out and gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?”

She sniffed and gave a pained laugh. Oh, God. Yes, she’d been hurt. But not like he meant. He’d hurt her when he left. But she couldn’t just blurt that out. Throwing her heart at this guy would send him running from her bed faster than anything.

“No,” she lied, chewing on her lower lip. “No one hurt me, Scott. I’ve just been waiting for the right time.”

“And this is the right time?” His voice was incredulous, his thick lashes so low she couldn’t read the look in his eyes.

“Um, well . . . you know how it is. I might not have a lot of time left.”

“Oh, hell. Don’t!” he forced out through his gritted teeth, bracing himself on his bent arms as he came down over her. “Don’t even say that. If you fucked me because you think it’s your last chance, I’ll—”

“No,” she whispered, reaching up to cup his scarred cheek in her hand. “That’s not why. I’ve wanted this forever. You know that. I know you do. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you knew I wanted you all those years ago. I always did.”

He groaned, burying his face in the curve of her throat. “Jesus. You make me so fucking crazy, Lily.”

“Yeah, well. Back atcha.”

He gave a low, raw laugh, then lifted his head and stared deep into her eyes. “I’m so damn angry at you for not telling me. I could have made it . . . easier.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Yell at me later. Just don’t leave me. Please.”

He opened his mouth, but choked off whatever he’d been about to say the instant he saw the fresh tears in her eyes. “Okay, all right. I’m here,” he rasped, pushing her hair back from her face, the look in his hot gaze stealing her breath. She’d never seen a man look at a woman with so much blistering heat and possessiveness. She felt scorched, the fact that it was Ryder who was looking at her like that making her heart feel like it was about to burst from excitement.

For so long. She’d wanted this moment for so damn long, and now she was finally going to have it.

He leaned down, rubbing his lips against hers, the gentle caress mirroring the careful way he started nudging his thick shaft back inside her body. She was sore enough that it burned, but she didn’t care, the emotional depth of the moment battering any discomfort she might have felt into obscurity. There was only Ryder and the incredible feel of his heavy penetration as he slowly rocked and nudged and worked his way back in until she had almost every inch of him packed up deep inside her. All the eager little muscles in her sex convulsed around him, holding him tighter, and his breath hissed through his teeth, his body shaking as he struggled to hold still, giving her time to get used to him.

“You okay?” he asked hoarsely.

“Mmm,” she moaned, spreading her legs a little wider as she arched her back. He must have liked it because he made a guttural sound in the back of his throat as he started giving her easy strokes that slowly worked him in and out. But while it was easier for her, the muscles in his magnificent body were beyond rigid, carved like steel beneath his hot skin, and she could tell exactly how much it was costing him to keep his control. He was still being careful not to go too deep. Not to be too rough. And she wasn’t having it.

“Stop holding back on me,” she panted, gripping the powerful muscles in his back, their bodies sliding against each other as their skin misted with sweat.

He grunted, burying his face in the curve of her throat again. “You’re so slick and hot. I’m trying to be careful, but fuck, you don’t make it easy.”

“Me? You’re the one doing everything. I’m just lying here.”

It was a low, pained laugh that vibrated in his chest this time. “Yeah. But you’re lying beneath me all soft and gorgeous, blowing my damn mind.”

His words only made her more desperate. “I want it harder. I mean it, Scott. Let go.”

“Christ, Lil. You’re gonna be the fucking death of me,” he groaned in her ear, his voice slurred with pleasure as he began quickening his pace. She moaned, squeezing her hands between them so that she could feel the rippling of his abs as he fucked her with that incredible cock, and the cracks in his control started to show. His strokes became harder, deeper, his hips slamming into hers with each penetrating lunge, followed by the sexy grind against her clit before he pulled back and did it again . . . and again. She clutched at him, coming undone, the raw, powerful way he moved driving her wild.

He lifted his head, a hard glint in his dark eyes as he exhaled a harsh breath. “I’ve never felt anything this good in my entire life. Nothing that even came close.”

She blinked up at him, knowing that everything she felt had to be showing on her flushed face, burning in her eyes like a hot, shimmering message. He groaned and held her head in his hands, then lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, hungrily, his tongue thrusting and stroking, touching her teeth and the inner surface of her lips, then tangling with her own. She melted, sighing into the pleasure, seduced by the tenderness she could taste in his breathtaking kiss. And thrilled by the way it mixed with the raw lust as he moved one of his hands down to her knee, lifting it higher, wider, so that he could get even deeper inside her. He fed sexy growls into her mouth as his rhythm picked up, his thrusts so hard they started to shake the bed . . . along with the very foundations of her soul.

She was changing, evolving . . . becoming something lush and warm and full of sensation. She felt transformed, and knew her stupid heart was getting into dangerous territory. As hard-assed as she’d tried to be about the experience, there was no way for her to separate the emotion of the act from the physical. She was hyperaware with every cell of her body that this was Ryder between her legs, buried inside her, blowing her mind. The man who owned her without even knowing it. Who didn’t want her forever. Just for now. For this blinding moment. She had no guarantee there would even be a second time, and so she surrendered completely, knowing she needed to glean as much from the experience as she could. Secure the memories in a box in her mind that she could protect forever . . . or for however long she had. Memories that no one could ever take away from her. She sobbed at the thought, clinging to him, kissing him back with everything that she felt and feared and ached for, and he went wild, his pounding rhythm shoving her into a devastating orgasm that made her thrash and scream. He swallowed her raw cries with his mouth, drinking them in, then tossed back his head and gave a guttural roar as his own release slammed through him, his cock pulsing and jerking, spurting hot bursts of cum inside her. She kept climaxing, milking his steely shaft with her cushiony inner walls, and they strained together in that tangled, intimate knot until the violent shudders had eased into twitches, their lungs no longer heaving for breath.

Lily closed her eyes and held him tighter, knowing this had been right and perfect and necessary.

And that she’d never be the same again.

• • •

RYDER SHOOK HIS head, trying to make sense of what had just happened. When he’d come, it had been unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Yeah, he’d been with more than his fair share of women, and he’d started young. But nothing had ever prepared him for this. For Lily. She was the blow he couldn’t recover from. One incredible fuck and she’d somehow taken his memories of other women and burned them to the ground until they were nothing but scattered pieces of ash floating around in his head. The only thing that was solid and real and vibrant in the twisted landscape of his reality was the intoxicating woman trapped beneath him. She was a goddamn live wire of hunger and pleasure and emotion every fucking time he touched her.

He didn’t know how he hadn’t figured it out immediately last night when he’d had her against his door. That she was the woman in his arms. He’d never felt the way he did with her with anyone else in the world. Which just proved that deep down he’d known it was Lily all along. What a stupid prick, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t. He could be such a goddamn idiot at times.

Just look at his fuckup tonight. Not realizing she was a virgin. He didn’t even know how to wrap his mind around the fact that he was the only jackass who’d ever filled her with his cock. But he liked it. Liked knowing that no one else had ever known her the way he did. Better not to dwell on it for too long or he might just start beating his chest like a caveman. But now that his head had cleared he wanted some answers. And he wanted them now.

He wasn’t as hard as he’d been before he’d blown like a fucking geyser, but he was still firm. Keeping himself buried inside her, Ryder slid his arms beneath her and rolled to his back, then settled his hands on her hips, holding her in place. As she braced her soft palms against his chest and pushed up a little, her silky hair a wild, beautiful mess around her face, he said, “I want some answers, Lily. I want to know how a woman like you could still be a virgin at twenty-five.”

Her disgruntled expression was beyond adorable. “I’m not sure what you mean by a woman like me.”

Rubbing his hands over her hips, loving how soft she was, he said, “Sexy as all get out. A goddamn walking wet dream. What the fuck is going on?”

Her gaze skittered to the side. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. Not because I wanted to lie to you,” she said in a rush, lowering that worried gaze back to his. “I was just hoping to avoid the freak-out.”

“I’m not going to freak out,” he murmured, biting back a grin. “I’m a grown man, Lil. I don’t freak out.”

She didn’t look like she believed him.

Keeping his tone deliberately calm, he said, “If you’d told me before we got started, I would have done things to make it easier for you.” At least he’d have tried. He sure as hell wouldn’t have driven himself inside her like a jackhammer before making her come a few times.

“I didn’t want easier,” she confessed in a low voice, a frown weaving between her slender brows as she held his heavy-lidded stare. “I just wanted you. And now you’re going to run.”

“I’m not going to run,” he told her, his cock already getting harder, stretching her tender little pussy wider.

Her eyes went bright at the feel of him getting bigger. “You’re not?”

“No. Because then I wouldn’t be able to do this,” he whispered, leaning up to take one of those candy-pink nipples into his mouth as he lifted her hips a little, then jerked her back down on him. Her soft cry of pleasure only made him harder, the drenched heat of her plush, fist-tight little cunt the most perfect thing in the world he’d ever felt. She was full of the cum he’d blasted into her, steeped in her own slick juices, clasping him like a leather glove that pulsed in time to her heartbeat. He moved to her other breast, sucking and licking at the succulent peak, undone by the heady taste of her skin. Then he pulled back, locking his narrow gaze with hers.

“If you’re not going to tell me why you stayed a virgin, then at least tell me why you’re on the Pill.” He curved his hands around her ass as she leaned forward, putting her pussy at the perfect angle for his deepening thrusts. With his knees bent and his feet braced on the bed, he held her in place and pumped up into her, filling her again and again with his thick rod, her virginal body somehow taking every broad inch of him when most women couldn’t.

“Because I didn’t know,” she murmured, closing her eyes. When she opened them again she looked like a woman who was thoroughly enjoying a long, grinding fuck. Rosy mouth and cheeks. Creamy, glistening skin. Glowing eyes beneath the heavy weight of her lashes. She was so goddamn beautiful it hurt just to look at her.

“You didn’t know what, Lil?”

His sharp gaze followed her tongue as she wet her lips and moaned, “When I might see you again.”

Oh, God. The instant the telling words slipped past her lips, Lily panicked. Shit. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that to him. To Ryder, the most emotion-wary man in the world. Worried he was going to toss her aside and leave her, she sat straight up, and they both gasped as the position shoved him even deeper inside her.

His jaw was tight. So was his grip on her ass. “Damn it, Lil. Are you okay?” He studied her expression with a worried scowl.

“Yeah. You’re just . . . um, really far inside me. And there’s a lot of you.”

His fingers flexed, a hoarse catch of breath at the back of his throat when her body gave a greedy pulse, squeezing his shaft. He closed his eyes for a moment, then slowly opened them. His gaze was somehow even hotter than before, telling her exactly how much he enjoyed the way she felt around him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was my first time,” she whispered. “I just didn’t want to scare you off. If you’d known, you wouldn’t have touched me.”

“I shouldn’t have touched you.” He worked his jaw for a moment, then muttered, “But it wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” he breathed out, sliding his hands to her hips again and giving them a firm squeeze.

She couldn’t help but smile. “Good,” she told him, reaching for his right hand. She held it with both of hers, lifting it to her lips, and pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles he’d bruised fighting Rado’s thugs that morning in the parking lot. He groaned and pulled his hand free, curling both hands around her breasts, his thumbs rubbing her nipples. He made her feel so incredible; she wanted to make him feel that way, too. And while she didn’t have a lot of hands-on experience, she’d read enough to have some interesting ideas.

Placing her hands on the solid slabs of his chest, Lily shifted her legs so that she could brace herself on the balls of her feet. Then she spread her knees and started riding him harder as she lifted herself up and down on the thick, scorching inches of his cock. His eyes widened, and she let a slow smile curve her mouth. She watched him lower his gaze, the lust carved into his rugged features impossible to miss, and when she looked down she knew why. The position was erotic as hell, making it easy to see the way her tight, tender entrance was stretched to its limit around his brutal width, the vein-ridged shaft gleaming with moisture every time she lifted, before driving herself back down in a move that hurt but was too good to stop.

“You sure as hell don’t fuck like a virgin, Lily.”

She fluttered her lashes at him. “That’s because I’ve done every dirty thing you could imagine in my head with you more times than you could count. If imagination were experience, I’d be the slag of the universe.”

He laughed, and she gasped as she felt that husky sound move through his body and up into hers, another slow smile curling her lips. “Do that again,” she all but purred.

He snorted, looking a little embarrassed. “I can’t laugh on command.”

“Then I’ll help,” she said, bracing herself on her knees again so that she could tickle his ribs. His body shuddered beneath her as another deep burst of laughter rumbled up from his chest, the happy sound making her feel ridiculously pleased with herself. He gave a playful growl as he grabbed her wrists and rolled them over, trapping her beneath him as he reversed their positions. For a moment she thought he was going to tickle her back in retaliation, but he reached for the tank top she’d tossed to the far side of the bed instead.

Panting with excitement, Lily watched the muscles in his arms move beneath his golden skin as he easily ripped the tank into several strips of cotton. Within seconds he had her arms over her head, wrists bound together with one of the thin strips of material. Tying the ends around one of the wooden slats in the headboard, he secured her wrists to the bed, making it impossible for her to move away. God, having a naked Scott Ryder between her legs while she was bound and at his mercy was even sexier than she’d dreamed it would be.

He stared down at her with an outrageously wicked look. “I have to admit, I love the feel of your hands on me. But there’s something to be said for how beautiful you look like this.” She shivered, and he cocked his head a bit to the side. “Scared?”

“No. I couldn’t do this with someone else. But I trust you. It makes me hot, knowing you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Anything at all.”

“That’s what I want. I want you to do it all.”

His nostrils flared as he pulled in a sharp breath, and his mouth went hard. “Don’t do that, Lily. I can think of a hell of a lot of things that would probably freak out a girl like you.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Very slowly, he reached down and rubbed his thumb around the taut skin the broad root of his cock was stretching wide, getting it wet. Then he pulled out about halfway and ran his thumb from her vulva down to the puckered entrance of her anus, pressing against it with the slightest amount of pressure. “What if I put my dick in you here?” he asked her. “Fucked you deep and hard right up this tight little ass?”

She knew her eyes had gone wide with shock. “You like anal sex?”

A sexy smirk tilted his lips. “I like the thought of doing everything with you, Lil. Every raunchy, dirty, explicitly sexual thing you can think of. There isn’t any part of you that I don’t want to violate and own. So, yeah, I like anal sex. I’ll especially like it with you.”

“I’ve, um, never done it before.”

He laughed, then looked a little surprised, as if he didn’t know what to make of his own reaction. “Seeing as how you were a virgin, I kind of figured you hadn’t. But I won’t go there tonight,” he said, pulling his hand from between her legs as he surged back in, giving her every inch. “I’m not that much of a bastard.”

“Then what are you going to do with me?” she asked, liking the way it felt when she pulled a little at her bound wrists.

“Brace your feet on my shoulders, Lily.”

She shivered but did as he said, the result leaving her in a position that had her completely open to him. Once again, he could see every intimate, erotic detail, from the glistening juices that were gleaming around the thick base of his cock to the sensitive knot of her hard, pink clit.

“It feels really intense like this.” She bit her lip as he withdrew almost to the tip, then shoved himself back inside that swollen little hole. She gasped, thinking that it felt a bit odd to be so exposed when she was unable to cover herself with her hands. But what really threw her was the way he lifted his gaze and locked it with hers, his dark eyes making her feel like he could see right inside of her. Like he could uncover all her secret emotions and dreams that needed to remain hidden if she wanted the chance to keep enjoying him. “We, um, need to turn the light off or something.”

“Like hell we do,” he grunted, grabbing her behind her knees and pushing them out even wider as he moved over her. “I like you like this. I fucking love it. Don’t you dare try to hide from me.”

Tendrils of hair stuck to her damp cheek as she shook her head. “I’m not. I just . . .”

His hot stare drilled even deeper into hers. “Do you trust me, Lily?”

“What? Of course I do!”

“Then get over being shy,” he bit out, leaning down and taking her mouth in a greedy, explosive kiss that was so freaking hot it probably killed a few of her brain cells. “You wanted this,” he said against her lips, thrusting faster . . . harder, the heavy lunges slamming his cock impossibly deep. “So now you’ve got to deal with it. With me.”

She didn’t argue, because there was no hiding how desperately she kissed him back . . . or how turned on she was. She knew he could feel it in the way her tight sex rippled around his massive shaft. She was getting even wetter . . . slicker, a hot, scorching glow burning deep inside her, pumping through her veins. When she came the eruption of ecstasy was so intense she almost passed out, and he was right there with her, his thick cock jerking inside her with powerful bursts as he growled into her mouth, swallowing her cries.

“Jesus, Lil. I think you killed me,” he groaned, reaching up to untie the knot securing her wrists once their bodies had finally calmed and they’d caught their breath. He turned off the light and collapsed beside her, burying his face in the curve of her throat as he threw one of his long legs over hers, his fingers tenderly rubbing her wrists as if to ease any ache she might be feeling.

Oh, wow. This was almost as incredible as the sex. The feel and the weight of him holding her. The hot, masculine scent of his skin and the even sound of his breathing as he relaxed. Thank God she’d come here because she would have been seriously pissed if she’d missed out on this. On him. She drifted into sleep, mellow and soft, muscles like taffy that’d been warmed in the sun. She remembered him getting up at some point and gently cleaning her between her legs with a warm washcloth, before climbing back into bed with her. Then, later, she woke up cold, wondering why she didn’t have his warmth. Maybe he’d gotten up to go to the bathroom. Or to check on Mike. She burrowed under the covers, wanting to wait for him to get back, but drifting into sleep again. But she was tense as thoughts of Radovich kept working their way through her mind, and the nightmares wouldn’t leave her alone.

The next thing Lily knew, she was sitting up in bed, her throat hoarse from screaming, and Ryder was rushing into the dark room dressed in his jeans, the door shutting behind him. He quickly flicked the light on low and climbed onto the bed, his back braced against the headboard. Then he pulled her shaking body onto his lap, and held her against his chest. “Jesus, Lil. What were you dreaming about, baby? You must have had a nightmare.”

“Nothing,” she gasped. “It’s nothing.”

His arms tightened. “Was it about that night on the boat?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to talk about—”

“Too bad,” he grunted, cutting her off. “It’s time you tell me. I need to know how you got away that night.”

She wanted to argue, to refuse, but she was cuddled naked in his arms, her head resting back on his right biceps, the look in his dark eyes when she lifted her lashes making it clear that this was important to him. He lifted his free hand, pushing her hair back from her face, and the tender touch was her undoing. Forcing the words from her tight throat, she said, “I don’t remember a lot from when Rado was talking to my father. That monster and his men were hurting him, torturing him, and I was screaming, fighting, trying to reach him as they held me back. Then Rado sent me off with one of his men until he was ready to deal with me, telling the guy to clean me up so I would be ready for him and the others. So the man . . . he took me down to my stateroom.” Her face burned as she gave a hard swallow. “And then I played him.”

His brows were drawn together in a V, a muscle pulsing in his scarred cheek. “What do you mean?”

She wet her lips, trying to keep her voice steady as she lowered her gaze to his chin, not wanting to see the look in his beautiful eyes when she explained. “I came on to him, acting like I . . . I wanted him over the others. Told him that I’d run away with him if he helped me. That I had a lot of money and would make it worth his while. That I’d be willing to do whatever he wanted, as long as it was just him. So he, um, took the bait and started to kiss me. I hated it, wanting to throw up. But I kissed him back until I knew he was focused on me and not worrying about what I might do.”

She could feel the tension creeping into his muscles. “Did he rape you?” he asked in a low, deadly voice.

“He would have. But when he broke the kiss to pull off his shirt, I grabbed his balls and twisted so hard they probably don’t work right anymore.”

She took a quick peek at his face and caught the twitch at the corner of his mouth. “Good girl,” he murmured, rubbing the pad of his thumb beneath her eye. She hadn’t even realized that she was quietly crying until he lifted his thumb to his mouth, tasting her tears. Her breath caught as she struggled to remember what she’d been saying.

“What’d you do after that, Lil?”

“Um, I grabbed what I could, stuck it into the waterproof kayaking pack I still use, and snuck out of my room. I made my way to the deck and slipped over the railing, into the water. When I started swimming away, I heard something that made me look back. They were dumping my dad’s and Nancy’s bodies over the side of the boat.”

“Jesus,” he hissed, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry. I know I should have told you that before, but things have been . . . Shit, I’m just an ass. And I’m sorry.” He pulled his head back so that he could catch her gaze again, his expression confused. “But why didn’t you want to tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think . . . I don’t know. I felt stupid. You would have kicked his ass, while I had to use a ridiculous deception to get free. I guess I just didn’t want you to think I was pathetic. I mean, you weren’t exactly friendly when I got here.”

“You’re not pathetic,” he said fervently. “You’re amazing. You saved your ass when most people would have been catatonic with fear. That took balls and guts and more courage than I can even imagine. I’m proud as hell of you.”

The tightness in her chest eased, and she blinked up at him. “Yeah?”

“You bet your sweet little ass, yeah.”

“But there was a moment, I don’t know how long it lasted, where I started to think my plan wouldn’t work. I’ve never been so scared in my life, Scott. And I felt so horrible, for being afraid of what might happen to me, when my dad and Nancy had already suffered so much.”

“No, baby,” he rasped, pulling her against his chest. “That’s called survival instinct and there’s no stopping it. I know for a fact that your dad would have been so damn proud of you.”

She tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his lean torso, hugging him. She thought she probably could have stayed like that for the rest of the night and enjoyed the best sleep of her life, until she remembered that she’d been alone when she’d awakened from her nightmare. “You’d gone back to your room, hadn’t you?”

His body stiffened against hers. “Yeah.”

Forcing herself to pull out of his arms, she climbed off his lap. “I’m fine, Scott. You can head back to your own bed now. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Lily, I just—”

“Really, it’s okay,” she said, cutting him off. “I just need to get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, moving to his feet. But he didn’t leave her. Instead, he took off his jeans and turned off the light.

“What are you doing?” she asked, when he climbed back onto the bed, pulled the covers over them, and yanked her against his chest, tangling his legs with hers.

“Just shut up and let me hold you,” he said into her hair, tucking her head beneath his chin again. “I haven’t been able to sleep worth a damn tonight anyway.”

She was still hurt that he’d left her, but didn’t argue or resist, simply wanting as much time with him as she could get. Lying quietly in his arms, she thought he’d already fallen asleep when his deep voice rumbled above her head in the darkness. “Did you know that you’re the only person I know who calls me Scott?”

“Not in my thoughts.”

“Huh?”

“I think of you as Ryder,” she explained. “But I purposefully started using your first name when talking to you a long time ago so that you might notice me. I wanted to be different from all the other girls you knew.”

Running his big hand down her back, he said, “You didn’t need to do that to get me to notice you, Lil. You were firmly stuck in my head from the first moment I ever saw you, even though you were too damn young for a guy my age.”

“Well, I’m a big girl now. So you don’t have to feel like a pervert anymore,” she teased, cuddling a little closer to his mouthwatering bod as she hitched her leg over his hip.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “Considering some of the things I’d like to do to you, I think the pervert thing is probably still valid.” His tone was wry.

“Oh yeah? What kind of things?”

“Things that would be too much for your sore little pussy right now,” he rumbled, sliding his hand between her legs and cupping her puffy folds. He slipped his fingertips around her vulva, which was already hot and slick. “God, I love how wet you get for me. But damn, you’re really swollen, Lil. I went at you pretty hard tonight.”

She moaned low in her throat. “I’m okay.”

“Well, let’s make it better than okay.”

Even though she knew how incredible his mouth was, she was actually sore enough that she didn’t think she would be able to fully appreciate his efforts when he pushed her to her back and started kissing his way down the front of her body. But she’d underestimated him and her need for him. Her craving for the way he could make her feel. Her body melted into a pool of hot liquid as he held her open with his thumbs and took his time, licking her slowly, thoroughly, hungrily. The hard, husky sounds he made in the back of his throat, along with the feel of his hands as he gripped the insides of her thighs, keeping her pressed open, made it clear that he was really enjoying himself. Even when she started to come, he kept at her, licking and sucking on the tender opening of her body, eating her out in every sense of the word until she was boneless and replete, too steeped in satisfaction to even open her eyes.

“What now?” she asked when he placed a lingering kiss to her still softly pulsing clit, then moved back up beside her.

“What do you mean?” There was a definite edge in his voice, as if he was worried about where she was going with the question.

She trailed her fingertips down the hard ridges on his sexy-as-sin stomach. “Don’t I get a turn?”

“You can have your turn later,” he said, clearly relieved she’d been talking about giving him head, and not what was happening between them. He grabbed her hand and flattened it against his chest, over the heavy beat of his heart. Then he pulled her close and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Right now, just get some sleep. I’ll be here until I have to go and take over the watch for Mike. I won’t leave you again. I promise.”

With those beautiful words drifting through her head, Lily closed her eyes and drifted away.

SEVEN

THE NEXT DAY PROVED TO BE HELL FOR RYDER. SHEER FUCKING hell. He’d wanted to wake Lily up slow and easy, with his dick already buried deep inside her, where he knew she would be soft and wet . . . soaking him, hugging him. Had wanted to squeeze himself in, forcing that mouthwatering cunt to give way for him, and then ride her with gentle nudges, like a lapping sea, until she’d finally opened her eyes and stared up at him. There would have been a small, sexy smile on her pink lips. And it would have been his signal to fuck her harder, until they were pounding away like a storm. Hot and raw, with sweat flying and her short nails digging into his back, urging him on. It was a hell of a fantasy. But he hadn’t been able to play it out, since he’d had to leave her to take over for Mike in the early hours of the morning.

Like a bad sitcom, his luck hadn’t improved as the day progressed. Once everyone was up and moving around, he’d kept trying to snag a moment alone with her but shit just kept getting in his way. First there were the calls from Ben, giving him frustrating updates on the search for Radovich that was so far going nowhere. When he’d finally gotten off the phone with the sheriff and tracked Lily down in the living room, where she was reading, Mike had walked into the room announcing that lunch was ready. Getting desperate, Ryder had cornered her in the kitchen when they’d finished eating and managed to steal a hungry, mouthwatering kiss from her. She’d tasted delicious, and the innocent blush on her cheeks when he’d finally pulled away to suck in some much-needed oxygen had only cranked up his need to fuck her. But before they’d even made it out of the kitchen, there was another interruption when Reese showed up at the front door with her friend Brit. The women had come over to keep Lily company for the afternoon, and while Ryder appreciated the friendly gesture, he’d still wanted to wring their damn necks for getting in his way.

Listening to the women chattering away in the living room, he’d hunkered down with Mike in the control room and focused his mind on the Radovich problem. He knew Mike had to be aware of what had happened between him and Lily during the night, considering how loudly she’d been screaming. But Mike had been smart enough not to say anything about it, which was a relief. She might be gutsy as hell in some ways, but Ryder wasn’t sure how much teasing she could take about the two of them fucking each other’s brains out. Especially when it was just a temporary thing.

A scowl wove its way between his brows as that last thought twisted through his mind, same as it’d been doing all damn day. He hated the cramp in his gut that came every time he thought about the fact that what they had wasn’t permanent. He had no doubt that the end would . . . suck. For both of them. But it wasn’t going to keep him from getting as much of her as he could until the Rado situation was over and she could haul her little ass back to Virginia.

Where I’ll never get to see her. Or talk to her. Or hear her laugh.

Muttering a guttural curse under his breath, he pushed away from the desk in the control room, breathing a sigh of relief when he heard Reese and Brit saying their good-byes. The women had even stayed to help clean up after dinner, and Ryder had tried to work out his frustration in the fitness room, then grabbed a shower while everyone had coffee. But now they were finally leaving, Mike was taking the first watch again, and Ryder couldn’t wait to get Lily alone.

With a comfortable pair of jeans hanging low on his hips, he waited in the hallway for Lily to head to her room, anticipation making his heart pound like a bitch when she turned the corner. She gave him a shy, sweet smile the second she saw him, and his damn dick nearly burst through the denim.

“Jesus. I didn’t think they were ever gonna leave.” He grabbed her by the waist, jerking her against him, and buried his face in the curve of her throat. “I can still taste you in my mouth, Lil. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s kept me hard the entire fucking day.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he could hear the smile in her voice as she crooned, “Aw. Poor baby. That can’t have been comfortable.”

“You’re telling me,” he muttered, herding her into her room and locking the door behind them. It took him only a handful of seconds to get rid of her tank top and lacy bra, and then he lifted her against the front of his body, his face buried between her perfect tits as he carried her to the bed. “I need help, Lily. I need you to help me.”

Her touch was gentle as she sifted her fingers through the damp locks of his hair. “Not that I’m complaining, but what exactly has gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me?” He was already leaning over her and pulling down the zipper on her jeans, his shaking hands making the task anything but easy. “How about the fact that I’m dying to get my tongue back into you? It’s damn near the only thing I can think about, which is seriously fucked, seeing as how I’m meant to be thinking about how to keep you alive.”

“You want to go down on me again?” she whispered, still touching his hair, petting him like a wild animal. Which was exactly how he felt with her. Wild and savage and completely out of control.

“Again?” He wrenched her panties down with her jeans, pulled them off her slender legs, then tossed them over his shoulder, his lungs working even harder as he took in the beautiful sight of her spread out naked before him. “I never wanted to stop in the first place. But you were tired last night and needed to get some sleep.”

A warm blush started to burn beneath her creamy skin, her bright eyes glowing in a way that made her look impossibly happy, and it pierced something deep in his chest. “You really like it that much?” she asked him, scooting back a little to make room for him as he climbed onto the bed with her.

Loving the way her breath quickened as he crawled over her, he said, “You have the sweetest little cunt I’ve ever tasted and I just want to keep my face buried in it. So yeah, baby, I definitely like it.” He flashed her a sharp smile. “I fucking love it.”

She gave him a teasing look through her lashes, her tone coy. “And is your tongue the only thing you were hoping to get back inside me, Deputy? ’Cause I was kinda hoping we could do more.”

“I’d love that, too, but we can’t,” he said wistfully. He’d noticed her wincing a few times when they’d been clearing the table after dinner, and when he thought about how hard they’d gone at it the night before, it hadn’t been difficult to figure out why.

Her expression fell. “What? Why not?”

He gave her a knowing look. “Because you’re probably sore as hell, Lil.”

Oh . . . She was, but Lily wasn’t going to let that stop her when there was no telling how much longer they had together. “It doesn’t matter.”

His response was gruff. “It matters to me.”

Before she could argue, he shoved his hand between her legs, his long fingers slipping through her swollen folds, opening her. He pushed two into her, working them deep, pumping into her tight, wet heat before pulling out. Then he lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked the glistening digits clean. “Fuck,” he groaned. “I swear you taste even sweeter today. How is that possible?”

She pushed against his chest, making him roll onto his back. Kneeling beside him, she started yanking at the buttons on the fly of his jeans. “No more of that until I get to mess with your mind the same way you’re always messing with mine.”

He went so still she didn’t even think he was breathing. “You want my cock in your mouth?” The husky rumble in his voice left no doubt that he liked the idea. A lot.

“That’s exactly what I want.”

He raked a hand back through his hair and grimaced, as if the idea caused him pain. “Fine,” he growled, lifting his hips to help her as she struggled to pull down his jeans, stripping him bare. “But it’ll probably kill me.”

Lily started to scowl, until she realized he was teasing her. “I might not have a lot of practice, but surely I can’t be that bad at it,” she said, throwing his jeans over the side of the bed.

He seemed to be having a little trouble breathing as she situated herself between his long, powerful legs, and his eyes were getting heavy. “I have no doubt it’ll be the best I’ve ever had. But my heart might not take it.”

She snorted, pressing her forehead to his muscular thigh as she took him in hand. “You’ll survive.”

“You think I’m joking, but I’m not.” He pulled in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Seriously, Lil. You have no idea how far this is going to push me.”

“Come on. I know you, Scott.” And thanks to some of the comments she had heard Mike make, she knew he had a helluva reputation in this little beach community as a guy who liked to fuck but not commit. “You’ve probably had more head than any other man I’ve ever known.”

• • •

SHIT. EVER SINCE he’d walked away from her, Ryder had tried screwing Lily Heller out of his memory in a never-ending stream of women. But it hadn’t worked, and there’d always been a part of him that felt like hell for even trying. As if he were betraying her somehow. Of course, he’d justified his actions with the belief that she probably had her choice of handsome men whom she willingly shared her body with. Only, that hadn’t been the case. Oh, he knew she’d had the opportunity, and that she’d dated, but after last night it was obvious she’d never let anything get too serious between her and another man. He, on the other hand, had slept with more women than he could remember, and it made him cringe. They might not have meant anything to him, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d fucked them. If Lily had done the same, he’d want to hunt down every man who’d lost himself in her beautiful little body and make him hurt for it.

Not that he had the right to feel that way. All he’d offered her was sex. It seemed like so little in comparison to what they could have had if he wasn’t so screwed up inside. But at least he could offer her a little honesty to go along with it.

Lifting himself onto his elbows, Ryder gave her a sharp look. “I don’t give a fuck how many mouths I might have been in. They weren’t yours.”

She lifted her brows. “And I’m supposed to think that makes a difference?”

His jaw tightened. “Think what you want. But I’m telling you the truth.”

She didn’t say anything at first. Just stared back at him with those big green eyes. “I guess I better make it count, then,” she finally murmured, the husky words followed by a slow lap of her tongue over the very tip of him. Then she took the heavy head inside her mouth, sucking on it, and Ryder felt every drop of blood drain from his brain.

“Damn it,” he gasped.

She pulled back, keeping her lips against the broad, flushed crown as she asked, “Good damn it? Or bad damn it?”

He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes as he fell back to the bed, his chest shaking with a gritty burst of laughter. “Uh, that was a I think I just saw stars damn it.”

“I can live with that.” Then the crazy woman set about driving him out of his ever-loving mind.

“Oh, God. Go slow,” he panted, reaching down and digging his fingers into her hair, curving them around her head. “Make it last. I don’t want this to be over too soon.”

She sucked him a little deeper, and he cursed, his back arching as if he’d been jolted with a sharp burst of electricity.

“Fuck!” he snarled, when his legs started to shake, the base of his spine tingling. It was crashing down on him, hard, and he couldn’t hold it much longer. “I said slow, Lily!”

Her soft curls whipped against his thighs as she shook her head. “No. Just let go. I want to feel it.”

And she got exactly what she wanted. The instant she sucked him deep again, Lily felt his incredible power blast against her as he slammed over the edge, coming in hot, violent bursts. His flavor was incredible, driving her hunger higher, pushing her craving for him to a place she hadn’t even known existed.

“Wow,” she whispered, when she finally pulled back and looked up at him. “That was really hot.”

“Yeah.” Ryder blinked, not even sure what he was saying. He lowered one hand, rubbing his thumb against the corner of her swollen lips, where a drop of his cum was glistening. He could feel his expression tighten, the way she was smiling at him the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“What?” she asked, her head tilting a bit to the side as she studied him in that way that always let her see too much. But in this moment he had nothing to hide. She’d ripped him wide open.

“You.” He shook his head, his voice shaking a little, too. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

A shy laugh slipped from her lips. “Naw. I’m just kneeling here.”

He touched his thumb to her bottom lip, rubbing the tip across her white teeth. “You were doing a hell of a lot more than that. And now it’s my turn,” he said, quickly grabbing her and pinning her beneath him as he reversed their positions.

“You’re obsessed!” Lily squealed, laughing as he kissed his way down her torso, until he had his broad shoulders wedged between her legs.

He muffled his laughter against her inner thigh. “You complaining?”

“Hardly. It’s just that—”

He cut her off. “Based on the moaning and the screaming you did last night, and in the motel before that”—he lifted his head a little and winked at her—“I kind of thought you like it when I go down on you.”

She blinked at him across the trembling length of her body, thinking he was the most gorgeous man in existence, with that hungry look on his face and his mouth already damp from the way he’d rubbed his lips across her tingling sex before looking at her. “Of course I like it,” she panted. “If I liked it any more, it’d probably kill me. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it.”

He laughed, a crooked grin on his lips as he kept his eyes locked on hers and stuck his tongue out, giving her clit a slow, deliberate lick. “Mmm,” he hummed, pressing his lips to the sensitive bundle of nerves. “I promise not to kill you. So just shut up and let me do my thing.”

And, God, was he good at it. As his eyes slid closed and he tilted his head a bit to the side, he went kind of wild on her, leaving no part of her untouched and untasted, the sounds he made only making her burn hotter. Then he slowed, moving his tongue inch by inch, taking his time, making sure she was feeling every second of it. Cranking the tension to an unbearable level. She could see his right biceps flexing as his arm moved faster and faster, and knew he was touching himself while he went down on her. It was sexy as hell, and she wished she had mirrored doors on the closet so that she could watch him in action.

He brought her off so many times she lost count, the breathtaking orgasms melting into each other until she couldn’t tell them apart. He was groaning now, breathing hard, his clever tongue rubbing across her pulsing entrance, and she knew he was getting close. Wanting to be wicked and turn him on, she reached down and touched her finger to his tongue, feeling it move against her drenched flesh, and he gave a shocked, guttural growl that she understood perfectly: He thought her touching him like that, when he was doing what he was doing, was hot as hell . . . and he was about to shoot his load.

“In my mouth!” she burst out, suddenly pushing against his shoulders.

He lifted his head, blinking, his dark eyes nearly black with passion and lust and achingly emotional things that made her heart skip a beat. “What?”

“I want you in my mouth again,” she said in a rush, already scrambling around so that she could put her mouth on him as he moved to his side, looking dazed, his huge fist still pumping his shaft. She licked her lips, then took that dark, gleaming crown between them, moaning at his hot taste, letting him do the rest. Seconds later, he exploded with a harsh shout, blasting in a series of heavy spurts against the back of her throat, his body shuddering from the violent force of his release.

“Christ,” he groaned, “you really are going to be the death of me.”

She smiled as she scooted up beside him, both of them still breathing a little heavy as they lay on their sides facing each other. He stared back at her with an arrested expression on his face, and then slowly, as if he was waiting for her to tell him no, he pushed his hands into her hair and brought her closer as he shifted forward, touching his mouth to hers. She was shocked, wondering if he would actually go through with it—slide his tongue into her mouth after coming in it—when he did. And there was nothing half-assed about the kiss, either. His hands tightened around her head, and he kissed her harder, clearly getting off on tasting himself inside her.

“Never done this”—his voice was low, rough, his lips rubbing against hers—“but I like the way you taste with a part of me inside you, Lil.”

She licked his lower lip, which was still sticky with her juices. “Me, too. We taste good together.”

“Mmm. We’re good together in lots of ways.”

He froze, and Lily knew he immediately regretted the words. He was probably beating himself up inside for even thinking them.

Pulling back a little, she reached up and pushed her fingers through his thick, glossy locks. And then she said to hell with everything else, and finally asked the question that had been burning inside her for three long, heartbreaking years. “Why did you leave?”

Rolling to his back, he draped a powerful arm over his eyes and winced. “I don’t want to talk about it, Lily.”

She absorbed that for a moment, hating it but knowing that she had to accept it. She couldn’t make him trust her and open up. But she needed something, no matter how small. “Then tell me something else. Anything. Tell me what you did after you left. Why you never called or wrote. Why we never heard from you again.”

“It’s nothing you need to know or hear.” He exhaled a ragged breath, then lowered his arm and turned his head to look at her. “There’s a lot you don’t need to know or hear. Just enjoy the moment.”

She blinked, unable to believe that was his response. “Please, don’t do that. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I’m not a child.”

His voice was cold. “And I don’t touch you like one.”

“But that’s how you treat me,” she told him, determined not to shout. For once, she didn’t want their conversation to spiral into a pointless argument. She just wanted answers. Just needed to know why things had turned out the way they had. “I don’t need to be coddled, Scott. I just need to be . . .”

“What?”

She gazed at a distant point on the wall over his shoulder, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

“No. Say it.”

She forced her gaze back to his. “You want to know why I waited for you?” she asked, sniffing as she swiped at the hot tears that filled her eyes. “Why I couldn’t lose myself with another man? Why I can be the way I am with you? It’s because I love you, Scott. I’m in love with you. I have been . . . for a long time. For what feels like forever.”

He sat up, giving her his back as he threw his legs over the side of the bed. With his elbows braced on his knees, he hung his head forward, his voice little more than a graveled whisper. “You think you know me, but you don’t.”

She moved to her knees behind him, pressing her hand to the center of his back. “I know I love you.”

“Christ, Lily. Don’t do this,” he groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

She could feel him pulling away from her, closing himself off, and it made her want to scream. And cry. And pray for a way to reach him. “Is this because of your mother? Because of something that happened when you were growing up? Please, just talk to me. I’m begging you.”

He flinched, and the powerful muscles beneath his warm skin went rigid. “There’s nothing to talk about. Just try to get some sleep.”

Letting her hand fall, she shook her head, her heart splintering. “Would it kill you to just open up and tell me something?”

“It might,” he muttered.

“God. What happened to you?” she whispered brokenly. “I tell you I love you and you can’t even talk to me? I . . . I deserve more than that, Scott.”

She was right. She did. And the knowledge made him want to fucking roar with frustration. He knew he needed to get up and leave, but he found himself turning toward her instead. She’d started to move away from him, crawling to the far side of the bed, and he reached for her, shoving one arm under her hips and then yanking her against him as he knelt behind her. She gasped, bracing herself on her elbows, her sweet little ass pressed against his groin. But she didn’t say anything. Didn’t tell him to fuck off. Already granite hard, Ryder fit his cock to her delicate entrance, a low, guttural sound ripping from his throat as he clutched her hips and rammed himself deep. Her plush, slick sheath fit him like a glove, and he had to suck in a few desperate breaths to keep from shooting off then and there. Then he started to move, the rhythm urgent and raw, and before he knew it he was giving her every part of him. She was too small and he was built too big for this kind of fucking between them, but there didn’t seem to be any other way.

With their breathless moans filling the air and the sweat flying, Ryder gave it to her like he’d never allowed himself to do with any other woman. He gave her everything inside him. Everything. All the gut-churning hunger and want and need. Because it was all hers. Anything he’d ever thought he’d known about lust or pleasure was nothing compared with this one searing moment, her inner muscles convulsing around him as she came in a wild, beautiful rush, her hot little cunt milking him with each tight, breathtaking spasm. He gritted his teeth, never wanting it to end. Wanting it to go on forever. But it was crashing down on him, and his head went back with a guttural shout as he shuddered and pumped inside her, blasting her with hot, heavy shots of cum, then collapsed over her, his forehead pressed between her trembling shoulders, her own climax still shivering through her.

He hoped like hell that he hadn’t hurt her. And wished to God that he knew how to stay away from her.

“Of course you deserve better,” he eventually rasped in her ear, when he could finally find his voice. “That’s what I’ve been trying to make you understand, right from the start.”

Her hands fisted in the sheets as he pulled his cock from her tight clasp. “I want you.”

“Christ, Lily. You sure as fuck deserve better than that.” And with those hoarse words standing between them, Ryder got up, yanked on his jeans, and walked away.

EIGHT

THE FOLLOWING DAY CRAWLED BY IN TENSE, STIFLED INCREMENTS that saw Lily spending most of her time alone. Mike slept the first part of the day, since he’d been on night duty again, then was busy with some computer work Ryder had given him. And Ryder just basically ignored her, holing himself up in the control room the entire day. Whenever she’d gone in to try and ask him a question, he’d been on the phone, acknowledging her with a brief nod and then acting as if she wasn’t even there. She finally went back to her room and laid down for a nap, exhausted from lack of sleep and the constant stressing about . . . well, about everything. Rado. Her life. And the stubborn ex-soldier turned deputy who was slowly driving her out of her mind. She fell into a deep, restless sleep, and when she finally opened her eyes the sun was no longer shining against the room’s curtained window.

She got up and changed into one of the new outfits Mike had bought for her, needing something to cheer her mood a bit. The skirt was short and denim, with a gauzy short-sleeved blouse that made her feel flirty and feminine. She hoped Ryder choked on his own tongue when he saw it because she wasn’t going to let him just bulldoze his way into her bed again. Not without something seriously changing. She didn’t think it would be possible for a person to want someone more than she wanted him, but she couldn’t stand to keep ramming headfirst into those walls he kept throwing up between them.

She’d known, going in, that he wasn’t thinking in terms of forever. But, damn it, he could at least trust her enough to talk to her and let her in a little. For crying out loud, she’d told him she loved him! It’s not like there was anything a person could say that was more trusting and emotionally vulnerable than that. She’d laid her heart on the line and let him know it was his for the taking, if he wanted it.

Unfortunately, he’d made it pretty clear that he didn’t.

“Hey, Mike. Is Scott in the control room?” she asked, when she found the DEA agent sitting alone on the sofa in the living room, watching a ball game on the television.

Mike looked her way, shoved a hand back through his hair, and then his gaze quickly skittered away. “No, he’s, uh . . . out.”

She didn’t know why, but something that felt a little like pain started to coil through her belly. She had a bad feeling. Such a bad freaking feeling, and she started breathing a little faster. Had he gone after Rado? Was he off doing something dangerous that could get him hurt or killed? “Out? Out where?”

“I don’t really know,” he murmured, before he changed the subject. “I thought I’d make us some dinner. You like pesto?”

“Mike, where’s Scott?” She knew he wouldn’t just leave her with Mike and not come back. No matter how frustrated he might be with her, or angry, he wouldn’t bail on her when Rado was still out there. She believed that with every fiber of her being. “What’s he doing?”

Scrubbing his hand over the sexy five-o’clock shadow on his jaw, Mike said, “I’m not sure, Lil. All I know is that he said he’d be at the Palm for a few hours.”

She pressed a hand to her stomach, her nerves jumping. “The Palm? What is that? A bar? A club?”

Mike looked uncomfortable as hell. “It’s just a hangout in town.”

Her voice was starting to get a little brittle. “He left us to go and hang out at a bar? Or a nightclub? Which is it, Mike?”

“Lily, let it go. Please.”

“Like hell.” She didn’t want to think about what this meant—but that didn’t mean she hadn’t already figured it out. Some things were easy to see without a lot of thinking, and this was unfortunately one of them. She just didn’t understand why she hadn’t realized before. Why she hadn’t anticipated it. But then, there’d been a part of her still foolishly hoping that if she ever worked up the nerve to tell Ryder how she felt, he’d fall in line with her dreams and love her back.

God, she really was a naïve little fool. She should have known that he’d run. And from the sound of it, he was determined to—

No, she didn’t want to think about it. Not unless she had to. Unless she saw it with her own two eyes and knew, without any doubt, what choice he’d made.

Looking at Mike, she said, “I need you to drive me over there.”

His eyes went wide. “What? Why?”

“I need to go there. To talk to him. Can you please take me?”

“Fuck, no!” Mike grunted, moving to his feet.

“Then I’m calling a taxi,” she muttered, starting to turn away, but Mike reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back around.

“You’re not calling a damn taxi! There’s a fucking terrorist gunning for you, Lily, and Ryder and Ben haven’t been able to find where he’s hiding. Ryder spent hours on the computer today searching for any cyber links to the guy, and Ben’s had every damn deputy in the department scouring the town. Until we know what the hell this bastard is doing, you’re not leaving this house.”

They wasted another ten minutes arguing, but in the end Mike drove her to the nightclub in his truck, the silence in the cab charged with tension. He seemed pissed at himself for giving in and doing what she wanted, though she hadn’t left him much choice. He’d even tried to call Ryder, but Ryder wasn’t answering his cell phone, which only made her more anxious. Was he okay? Or was he purposefully avoiding Mike because he wanted to avoid her?

A quarter of an hour later, Lily was standing in the already crowded club, her ears ringing from the blaring music, while her eyes burned with tears, and she had her answer. It’d taken her only a handful of seconds to spot Ryder, and now she knew that she’d been right about the bad feeling she’d had. But Ryder wasn’t out doing something dangerous. He was too busy feeling up the woman sitting on his lap to worry about catching a terrorist. Lily couldn’t see his face behind the woman’s waves of strawberry blond hair, but she knew it was him. She recognized his long, jean-clad legs and black boots, the strong forearms and hands that were wrapped around the woman’s waist, and the shaggy locks of hair that were visible as he nuzzled his way up the side of her throat. With a small choked sound, Lily pressed a hand against the searing pain in her chest. It was unlike anything she’d ever known, as if a white-hot poker had been stabbed right through the center of her heart.

“Who is she?” she croaked when Mike placed his hand on her shoulder, her voice thick with the tears that were already running down her face.

“I don’t know.” He sounded as surprised as she was to find Ryder sitting at one of the tables on the edge of the dance floor with some unknown woman in his lap. From the edge of her vision, she watched Mike pull a hand down his face, then slowly shake his head. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

“No. This is good. I needed to see this.” The last time Ryder had walked out on her, she’d cried for nearly two weeks, then spent three years missing him and hating him and trying to convince herself that she didn’t love him, without ever letting another man touch her. Tonight, there was no way in hell she was going to be so pathetic.

Not wanting to give herself time to think about what she was doing, she quickly turned and put her hands on Mike’s chest, pushing them up and over his broad shoulders, then around the back of his neck as she tried to pull him down to her.

Mike tensed against her. “What the hell are you doing, Lily?”

“Please, don’t tell me no,” she said in a rush, going up on her tiptoes. He was even taller than Ryder, which made reaching his mouth anything but easy. “I need this. I can’t lose it in front of him. I need this to ground me.”

“Shit, he’s going to fucking kill me,” he growled. But he didn’t push her away. He was already pulling her closer.

“Help me,” she whispered, knowing he probably couldn’t hear the soft plea over the music. But he was staring at her mouth so intently, she was sure he could read the words on her lips. “Please.”

He groaned deep in his chest, leaning down and giving her exactly what she wanted. And he was good, too. Better than good. If her heart didn’t already belong to someone else, Lily knew Mike Hudson could have rocked her world. But she’d met him too damn late.

Needing to push the pain to a place where she couldn’t feel it, she kissed Mike harder, thrilled with his response when he grabbed her ass and jerked her up against him, lifting her off the floor. She felt bad for using him—and knew damn well that it was wrong. But she couldn’t make herself stop. She wanted Ryder to see this and know that he hadn’t broken her. That she could take his childish shit and throw it right back in his face.

Only . . . she was acting like a child, too.

Hating herself for being such an idiot, Lily pulled back, knowing she needed to apologize to Mike. But she didn’t get the chance. All of a sudden Ryder’s strong, masculine arm was wrapping around her waist, yanking her away from Mike and plastering her against the front of his body. Then he lowered his head, and his voice was a furious hiss in her ear. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Struggling against his hold, she yelled, “Why should you care?”

His arm tightened. “Damn it, Lily.”

“Let go of me!” she screamed, prompting him to drag her through the growing crowd of customers and out the back door of the club. She had no idea where his date had run off to, but Mike followed after them with a grim look on his handsome face.

“I wouldn’t play with him if I were you.” Ryder’s voice was like cold steel, completely devoid of emotion. But he was vibrating behind her, his arm wrapped so tightly around her middle she could barely draw a breath, his other arm now banding across her chest to hold her arms in place so she couldn’t hit him. “Mike’s idea of fun is way out of your comfort zone.”

“I don’t have a comfort zone anymore, thanks to you,” she snapped, her voice cracking at the end.

“He’ll hurt you.”

“Not as badly as you have!” she flung back at him.

He sucked in a sharp breath, and she renewed her struggles, finally managing to break away from him. It was galling to know she’d only succeeded because he’d let her. They were standing in the far corner of the club’s back parking lot, close to his Jeep, the night illuminated with the flickering orange glow of a tall light post. The pain in her chest was raw and burning, but she forced it down, determined to see this through and salvage what shreds of her pride she still could.

Looking at Mike, who had stopped a few yards away from them, she said, “I want to go home now.”

• • •

RYDER GROWLED WITH impatience, thinking it would be a cold day in hell before he let her leave with Mike. “You’re not going anywhere until we’ve talked.”

She turned her head and glared at him. “I have nothing to say to you. And I don’t want to hear anything that might come out of your lying mouth.”

“I haven’t lied to you. Not once,” he argued, forcing the frustrated words through his clenched teeth. “And you are going to listen to me.”

She curled her lip at him, trembling with fury. “I don’t have to do anything where you’re concerned. You didn’t even have the balls to talk to me before hooking up with another woman. Do you know how juvenile that is? You are such a jackass!”

“Damn it, Lily. It’s not what you think!”

“I don’t care what it is. I just want you to leave me alone!”

“That’s not gonna happen,” he muttered, wiping his hand over his mouth as he struggled to get a hold of his temper and figure out what the fuck he should do. A cold, slick sweat slipped down his spine as he realized just how screwed up things had gotten. From the moment he’d left Lily at the safe house, he hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that he should have talked to her before heading off, instead of sneaking out while she’d napped. But he’d been reeling, spinning, feeling like he’d been hit upside the head with a two-by-four. That morning, when he’d opened his eyes, the words she’d said to him the night before had come at him like a fucking wrecking ball, flattening his chest, making it impossible to breathe.

On top of that, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the danger she was in. He knew Rado was up to something—he just didn’t know what. Not a single one of the asshole’s thugs had checked out Ryder’s house. The bastard was lying low, like a snake in the grass just waiting to strike. He was frustrated by the lack of progress he and the others had made in their search for him, and so he’d reacted like a fucking idiot and gone ahead with what had obviously been a stupid plan. One that had backfired so badly he wanted to beat the living shit out of something. That “something” being the man who was standing off to the side watching them. The man who’d had his tongue down Lily’s throat and her sweet little ass in his hands.

“What the hell are you even doing here?” he demanded, taking a step toward her.

“What’s the big deal? You left me at the safe—”

“With protection,” he growled, cutting her off. “What are you doing here with Mike?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. “Same thing you were from the looks of it.”

“I told him to watch you,” he bit out, suddenly gripping her shoulders. “Not fuck you!”

“Well, thanks to your little stunt, who I sleep with is no longer any of your business,” she shouted up at him. “If I want to go to bed with him, then I’ll damn well go to bed with him!”

“The fuck you will!” he bellowed, turning and slamming his fist into the side of his Jeep. He silently cursed himself as pain radiated up his arm. When he turned toward her again she was blinking at him in astonishment. He knew his face was a rigid mask of anger, his lips parted for the hard breaths rushing from his chest. He wasn’t just mad, he was furious. But she wasn’t afraid of him. She looked more than ready to keep on giving him hell, knowing damn well that he’d never do anything to physically hurt her.

Lifting her chin, she said, “You can’t tell me what to do, Scott. You lost that right.”

“It’s not gonna happen, Lily.” He felt a muscle pulsing in the hard line of his jaw. “He never gets to lay a fucking finger on you.”

Unable to believe his freaking audacity, Lily fought the urge to stomp her foot and scream. “Hello? Are you listening? You don’t get to make those decisions for me.”

From the corner of her eye, she caught a flash of Mike’s dark expression as Ryder came even closer. So close that she had to tilt her head back to hold his blistering glare. “Let me make this clear for you, Lily. You let him touch you, he dies.”

“You can’t kill every man who touches me!”

“I’ll be the only man touching you!”

“Why?” she shot back, jabbing her finger into his rock-solid chest. “You don’t even want me!”

“Not want you?” he grunted. He gave his head a hard shake, looking as if he was having trouble believing what she’d said. “Christ, woman. I want you so fucking bad it’s driving me out of my goddamn mind. I want you so much I can’t fucking think straight half the time!” he roared, and then his mouth was on hers, his hands on her body, and Lily suddenly found herself on her back on the hood of the black Porsche that was parked beside his Jeep. The skirt she was wearing made it easy for him as he shoved her legs apart and pushed between them, kissing her even harder as she tried to resist. But it was impossible. She loved his mouth and his taste too much. Damn it, even hurt and pissed off at him, she still loved him, contrary, confusing son of a bitch that he was.

“We can’t do this,” she hissed, breaking away from the kiss to gasp for air. “We’re not alone out here. Mike is with us.”

He locked his sharp gaze with hers, breathing in rough, uneven bursts. “Did you know he’s into threesomes? And I’m not talking girl-on-girl action. I’m talking two men pounding into a woman at the same time.”

“Yeah? Sounds interesting,” she drawled, knowing it would only make him angrier.

He leaned down and put his lips against her ear. “Keep pushing me and I’ll fuck you right here, Lily. I’ll bare that beautiful little pussy between your legs and let him watch it swallow every inch of my cock until he gets the picture,” he threatened in a guttural rasp. “No other man touches you!”

She was so outraged she could barely speak. “So you can screw around but I can’t?”

“I wasn’t screwing around!”

“You’re such a liar!” she seethed, putting her hands between them so that she could shove at his chest. But she only succeeded in getting him to lift his head.

His eyes were narrowed to hot, glittering slits. “I didn’t fuck her. I didn’t even kiss her on the lips. Just her neck. Which is more than you can say.”

“I kissed him because I was pissed off! I’ve never been angrier with anyone than I am with you right now!”

“You didn’t look like you were hating it!” he shouted, straightening his arms. “You looked ready to screw him on the fucking dance floor!”

Seeing red, Lily slapped him with as much force as she could while lying beneath him, struggling like crazy as he caught her wrists and slammed them down on the hood of the Porsche. “You don’t get to judge me,” she yelled, glaring into his hard-set face when he looked back down at her. “If I want to kiss another man, I’ll kiss another man. I’ll do whatever I want with him!”

“The hell you will!”

“You can’t stop me!”

“You wanna bet, Lil? Because this is mine,” he growled, letting go of her wrists so that he could rear back and shove her skirt up to her waist. She gasped, too shocked to try to stop him when he ripped her panties off, no doubt giving Mike an embarrassing shot of her intimate bits before Ryder suddenly shoved his face against her. He went at her slick flesh like a man who’d been starved for years, using his lips and tongue and teeth. He thrust his tongue into her snug opening, fucking her with it, and she dug her nails into his broad shoulders, screaming from the onslaught of sensation. Hot, wet, melting her down into a molten glow. Her skin misted with sweat, mouth open, lungs gasping for air as she shivered and cried out. She knew she should shove him away and tell him to fuck off, but she couldn’t. Instead, she braced her feet on the Porsche’s hood and shoved herself against his mouth, trapped by her own desperate desire. By her need and want and all the unforgivably stupid shit that was going to land her in a world of heartbreak. He was meant to be her treat. She wasn’t supposed to get hung up and serious about him. Just mutual sexual gratification to finally scratch her itch and get him out of her system, before she either died or he walked away. Instead, she’d gone and admitted she was in love with the arrogant, know-everything, have-it-his-way jackass. And now look at her. God, she was so easy when it came to Scott Ryder it was embarrassing!

When she’d finally stopped sobbing and screaming from the violent force of her release, he pressed his forehead to her stomach, his hands keeping a firm grip on her waist. She blinked up at the stars in the nighttime sky, then glanced a little off to her left, and her eyes connected with Mike’s burning gaze before he quickly looked away, scanning the parking lot with a strained expression. Ohmygod. She was so embarrassed she thought she might pass out.

“Scott, let me go,” she whispered, surprised by the ravaged sound of her voice.

He lifted his head, his expression as hard as the gritty “No” that left his lips.

“I’m so pissed at you,” she snapped, bracing herself on her elbows. “I’m even more pissed at you for making me come!”

“Yeah, I know.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip, licking the glistening juices she’d left there. “Be pissed, Lil. But it isn’t going to change anything. I’m just going to shove my tongue up your cunt again and make you come until you’re ready to give me what I want.”

“You sadistic son of a bitch! What is that?”

He scooted down a little to lick her tight, throbbing clit, and she actually whimpered. Keeping his lips against her, he locked his heavy-lidded gaze with hers and said, “I’ll tell you what it is when I’ve gotten it. In the meantime, I want my tongue back inside you. I want to feel your juicy little pussy coming all over my face. So go ahead and keep yelling at me, Lily. It just makes me want to go down on you even more. I could eat your sweet little cunt out all night long and never get tired.”

Oh, God. If she didn’t put a stop to this now, she was lost. She loved him too much to win against him. But he was already going at her again, and she was powerless against the waves that slammed into her, her second climax hitting her so fast he didn’t even have to work for it. It swelled through her like a storm, the hot, vital throb of pleasure leaving her utterly destroyed.

And completely at his mercy.

• • •

FORCING HIMSELF TO stop licking her before she got too sensitive, Ryder rested his forehead against her stomach again as he tried to catch his breath, his body burning with need. His cock was so hard he was a little surprised the jeans had managed to contain him. When he could finally breathe without worrying he was going to blow his load, he turned his head and looked at Mike.

“Point taken,” Mike drawled with a tight smile, pushing his hands in his front pockets. “Now maybe you should tell her the truth about what you’re doing here, before she decides to smash your nuts in.”

“You figured it out?” he asked, pulling her skirt down for her before he straightened and took a step back.

He caught Mike’s nod when he looked his way again. “It took me a moment, but I’ve got it. I had to think about the hair and build. She was the right height. Had the right coloring.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lily frown as she hopped off the Porsche’s hood, and knew she was wondering what the hell Mike was talking about. “What did you figure out?” she asked Mike. But Mike just looked at him, waiting for him to explain.

Locking his gaze on Lily’s strained face, Ryder finally forced out the truth, knowing that if he didn’t do it now he was going to lose her forever. “It wasn’t what you thought.”

“Don’t try to—”

He gripped her chin, cutting her off. “You’re going to listen to me, so shut up and focus.”

She glared, but didn’t say anything.

“I was not on a date with that woman. I was trying to pull off an op.”

She actually laughed as she jerked her chin from his grip. “Oh, God. You must think I’m so stupid if you expect me to believe that.”

With a fierce scowl, he said, “I admit that it wasn’t my smartest idea, and I was wrong not to tell you. But I’ve been out of my mind worrying about you. So cut me some fucking slack.”

“You honestly expect me to believe it was an op? You were licking her neck!”

“It was an act. I needed it to look real.” Exhaling a rough breath, he shoved his hair back from his brow. “It’s the truth, Lil. I was trying to draw Rado out with a decoy.”

“A decoy?”

His voice was raw. “I wanted him to think she was you and make a move on us. I want this shit to be over.”

Lily pulled her bottom lip through her teeth, wanting to believe him so badly that she was afraid to. “I thought I was meant to be the bait.”

“Yeah, that was the idea. To get him here. But when it came to putting you out in the open, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stomach the thought of putting you in danger like that. It nearly killed me just to think about it.”

“So that woman. Who is she? A cop?”

He jerked his chin down in a stiff nod. “A deputy who works in one of the neighboring counties. She’s trained to handle these types of situations. If Rado and his men had tried to jump us when we left here and headed down to the beach for a walk, she would have been able to take care of herself, giving me the opportunity to take him out.”

“And now?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. “They obviously haven’t caught wind that I’m here. But if they had, I would have screwed the plan to hell when I went after you.”

“You could have just told me, Scott.”

He tightened his jaw, and she could see the truth in his eyes, even though he didn’t say a damn thing.

A bitter laugh fell quietly from her lips. “But you were still reeling from what I said last night, weren’t you? You saw this as a way to push me away. You said you only kissed her neck, but just how far would you have been willing to go for your deception?”

“I . . .” He glanced at Mike, then back to her. “Do we have to do this in front of him?”

Lily smirked. “Why not? This is hardly the time to get shy.”

Ryder cursed under his breath, then cut another lethal look toward Mike. But the jackass didn’t retreat. Instead, he looked at Lily and asked, “Do you need me to stay?”

Shaking her head, she said, “It’s okay, Mike. I’m sorry for dragging you into this. Go and enjoy your night.”

“You sure you’re going to be okay?”

She gave him a watery smile. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for your, um . . . help tonight.”

Ryder scowled at the crooked grin Mike gave her in return. “You and I will talk tomorrow,” he snarled at the smiling jackass.

Mike shot him a wry look. “Whatever you say, man. I’ll just wait until you’ve bundled her up safely in the Jeep, then follow you back to the safe house.” Lifting his brows, he added, “Someone’s got to be on watch tonight, right?”

He wanted to argue, but knew he needed the bastard’s help. He jerked his chin in silent agreement, then looked back at Lily. “Come on. I’m taking you home.”

She shook her head again. “That isn’t my home, Scott. None of this is mine. I don’t belong here.”

“Just get in the damn Jeep,” he grunted, knowing that whatever else was said between them that night, it needed to be done in private.

NINE

THE DRIVE BACK TO THE SAFE HOUSE WAS SHORT, BUT LONG enough for Lily to work through some things in her head. She listened while Ryder phoned the female deputy who’d been in his lap, telling her the op was over and that she could head on home. Then he phoned Ben and told him the plan had fallen through and that he’d be in touch tomorrow. She was surprised to learn that the sheriff had known about the op, but then Ben must have been the one who gave the female deputy the okay to take part. She’d also learned that a backup team of deputies had been waiting in a car just down the road from the club.

Thank God they hadn’t been parked in the back lot. It was embarrassing enough, what had happened in front of Mike. She could only be grateful she hadn’t lost her mind in front of a group of strangers.

Once they were inside the house, Ryder followed her back to her room and shut the door behind him.

“I’m done,” she said, her arms crossed over her chest as she turned to face him. “We’re talking now. Either you tell me why you left three years ago or I’m leaving.”

His expression was hard, but she could have sworn there was a touch of fear in his dark eyes. “If you did, you’d be signing your own death warrant.”

“I’m still so upset right now I don’t even care.”

He worked his jaw as he started to pace in front of her, looking as though he was trying hard to figure out what he should say. “I’ve tried before to protect people who didn’t give a shit and failed,” he finally told her. “I couldn’t go through that with you.”

“Are you talking about Rado?”

He slanted her a grim look. “No. I’m talking about before. By the time I met you, you were a risk I couldn’t afford.”

“I don’t understand.” She frowned with confusion. “What makes you think I would have been a risk?”

He stopped in front of her, bracing his hands on his hips, and gave a harsh laugh. “Jesus, Lil. Everything you did back then was a risk.”

“Now wait a damn minute,” she said hotly, unable to believe he was throwing this in her face. “That’s not fair, Scott. I pushed my limits to help . . . to help deal with the things I was feeling. You got to run all over the world, blowing things up. Living on the edge. Getting away from everything. I didn’t. I needed something to take my stupid mind off how badly I wanted you! Then you left, and I . . .”

“You what?” he grunted, when her voice trailed away.

“I . . . changed.” And she had. She’d been broken when he’d left. Crushed. She’d barely wanted to crawl out of bed and go to work, much less go climbing up the side of a mountain or jumping out of an airplane. Shaking off the remembered pain, she looked at him and said, “What happened on that last op in Minsk? What pushed you away from me?”

At first, Lily didn’t think he was going to answer her. Then he started pacing again, shoving his hands back through his hair, his voice tight as he said, “I made some bad calls that got soldiers killed because I knew Radovich was a threat to your family, which meant he was a threat to you. And I wasn’t willing to live with that.” When he looked her way again, she flinched under the raw force of his gaze. “When I realized I was ready to detonate enough explosives to kill an entire city block of innocent people in order to make sure he could never harm you, I knew it was time I let you go. That I got the hell away from you.”

Her heart was beating so fast that it hurt, and she swallowed hard. “But you didn’t do it, Scott. Wanting to do something and actually going through with it are two entirely different things. You know that.”

He blew out a rough breath, his tall, muscular body vibing with a vicious tension as he continued to pace. “But I almost did. Christ, Lily, you have no idea how badly I wanted to, just so I’d know that bastard could never get to you.”

She couldn’t stop herself from taking a step toward him. “And you don’t think I would have felt the same way about protecting you?”

He stopped pacing and shook his head. “Most women aren’t like that.”

“Well, I’m not most goddamn women,” she shot back, her voice cracking with emotion. “I’m the one who wanted you more than life!”

He flinched, then fisted his hands at his sides and bellowed, “You were a fucking child!”

“I wasn’t,” she argued, swiping at the stupid tears on her face. “You were just too blind to see it. But take a good look at me now. Tell me if you still think I’m a little girl.”

His hot gaze slid up and down her body. “After the things I’ve done to you, you know I don’t. You wanted me to fuck you and I have.”

Her laugh was brittle, filled with pain and the longing for things she knew she wasn’t ever going to get. “I didn’t just want to fuck you. I wanted to belong to you. I wanted to make a life with you. Have a family with you. Grow old with you. And you left without even saying a single word to me!”

“And you don’t think I’m sorry for that? That it hasn’t torn me apart every fucking day I’ve been away from you?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “How could I know? You give me nothing.”

“I couldn’t!” he roared, swiping his hand through the air. “Fuck, Lily. Listen to what I’m telling you. What I want doesn’t matter. The problem is that the two of us together would be like a goddamn natural disaster. We’re talking storm of the century!”

“No, that’s not true. I think it’s all a matter of perspective, Scott. As well as trust. And just for the record, I happen to love storms. They’re . . . exciting. And beautiful.” She took another step toward him. “If you have the right person by your side, there’s nothing in a storm that can hurt you. Except them. They hold a power over you. One you end up giving over to them whether you want to or not. Even knowing they might destroy you with it.”

He screwed his eyes shut, looking pained, then slowly opened them. “Damn it, Lily. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She sniffed. “And yet, that’s what you always end up doing.”

“I know.” His shoulders fell as he watched the tears spilling down her cheeks, his tortured voice little more than a croak. “Christ, Lil, I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up so many times with you. I just . . . I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“By breaking my heart three years ago? And then, tonight, using your stupid decoy idea as a way to push me away?”

His corded throat worked as he swallowed. “Yes. But when I saw Mike put his hands on you”—he ground his jaw—“I wanted to kill him. I still do.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have that right. Only someone who loves me has the right to kill for me.”

“I have every right when it comes to you,” he scraped out, closing the distance between them. He speared his fingers into her hair, holding her head in his rough hands, and put his face right over hers. “You’re mine. Every beautiful, stubborn, mouthwatering inch of you. You may not believe me, but you mean something to me, Lily. A hell of a lot more than any other woman ever has.” His voice dropped, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “It’s scaring the shit out of me, baby. We’re talking pure fucking terror.”

“Her perfume,” she muttered, turning her head to the side, afraid to let his words into the tenderness of her heart. They could do so much damage in there. “You still smell like her.”

“I can fix that.” He took his gun from the back of his jeans, set it on the bedside table, then picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. Seconds later they were both naked and she was against the shower’s tiled wall, the water misting against her face as Ryder lowered his head and took her tight nipple into the scorching heat of his mouth. With her heartbeat roaring in her ears, she watched the erotic play of his mouth as it skimmed over her flesh. Watched the glistening drops of water cling to his thick lashes, the lush detail the perfect complement to his rugged, outrageous beauty. He was mesmerizing her, steam collecting around their bodies like a primordial mist as his lips found hers, the drugging, head-spinning kisses clouding her mind.

But the feel of his hands suddenly gripping her ass, lifting her off her feet, his hips pushing between her thighs, demanding she make room for him, jerked her back to the moment. His cock was heavy and urgently hard against her cleft, and she knew from the coiling in his muscles that he was only seconds away from burying himself deep.

“Don’t come in me,” she gasped, watching him from beneath her lashes. “Not tonight.”

His sensual mouth flattened into a hard line. “Why?”

“Because that’s something that only lovers should do. Not two people who are just fucking each other.”

Pushing her wet hair back from her face with his hand, he said, “I’ve fucked a lot of women, Lily. More than I care to admit. I’ve fucked them without even knowing a damn thing about them. Without caring, except for what I could get out of them. So don’t, for one goddamn second, look at me and tell me that when I’m buried inside you it’s nothing more than fucking. You might not know the difference but I do.”

The next thing she knew he was carrying her out of the shower, back into the bedroom, and tossing her into the middle of the mattress. Then he stared down at her from the side of the bed, dripping with water, his lean muscles coiled with power beneath the tight stretch of his skin. “Open your legs for me.”

“No. I need to—”

“Open your fucking legs, Lily.” His deep voice resonated with a sharp bite of command that only made her wetter. “Do it now or I’m spanking your ass.”

“Like hell you are,” she snapped, rolling over. She tried to crawl away, thinking she could scramble off the other side, but he was too fast. He came down over her hard, flattening her against the damp sheets.

“I know I should let you go, but I can’t,” he groaned, before doing his best to blow her freaking mind. His mouth was on her everywhere, pressing kisses down her spine, before he turned her over and licked his way from her navel up to her chest. He made thick, sexy sounds under his breath as he moved from one breast to the other, leaving both nipples shiny and throbbing, before moving higher, covering her with his strength and his heat. His hips settled against hers, his heavy shaft rubbing through the drenched folds of her sex. Then he reached down between them, fitting the broad crown against her opening, and started that slow, thick push inside. His hands found her wrists, holding them against the bed, his weight braced on his elbows . . . and his face close to hers. “You feel so fucking good, Lil. I can’t get enough of you. Of touching you. Of feeling you trapped beneath me.”

She arched, shivering as he started to ride her with grinding, devastating thrusts, unable to believe how quickly he could melt her down. Make her ache. Her pulse raced, body clenching, her head thrashing as a lush, shattering burst of pleasure slammed into her so hard she screamed like someone in pain, sobbing and crying. When she’d finally quieted, she realized he’d been waiting for her to calm before letting himself experience his own release. Looking savagely gorgeous, he gritted his teeth and shoved himself deep, holding there as he came, and Lily knew this was why he’d waited. He’d wanted her to feel every exquisite throb and pulse of his magnificent cock as he blasted inside her, filling her up. When he finally drew back, pulling his shaft from her greedy clasp, he braced himself on a straight arm at her side, his other hand pressed against her inner thigh, and stared between her legs.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Watching my cum drip out of you.” He ran his fingertips over her drenched vulva and lower, where she could feel his semen sliding down, then looked up at her from under his lashes. “I could never get tired of seeing that. It’s so fucking beautiful.” He took a deep breath, and his voice got even huskier. “I want all of you, Lily.”

“I’ve given you everything,” she breathed.

“Almost.” His teeth nipped her earlobe as he came down on top of her, one hand braced by her head while the other curved around her hip to grab her ass. With his fingertips slipping into the crease, rubbing against the sensitive flesh there, he said, “I want it all. Every part of you.”

Although it wasn’t something that she had ever thought she would experience, Lily surrendered completely, trusting him to take care of her and bring her pleasure in an act that was far more erotic than anything she’d ever imagined she would engage in. He used her baby oil to lube his cock, then positioned her on her hands and knees as he knelt behind her. She gripped the slats in the headboard with white knuckles, not really knowing what to expect. She’d enjoyed his thumb touching her there—but his erection penetrating the tight hole might be another matter entirely. She braced herself, but he wasn’t in any rush, soothing her with his touch and his seductive words as he told her how much he wanted her, needed her, owned her. He said she was his again and again, his voice turning guttural as he finally started to work that massive, vein-ridged shaft inside her. She panted, gasping, eyes squeezed shut against the muted glow of light spilling in from the bathroom. She hadn’t expected the pleasure to be quite so strong, and she trembled, shaking, sounds crawling up from her throat that spurred him on, letting him know without words that she was enjoying herself.

“You are so fucking incredible, Lil.” He pulled her up so that his mouth was at her ear, and filled one hand with her breast, pinching her nipple, while the other burrowed between her legs, stroking her clit. He was all the way in now, and he held her against him like that as he started to move, pumping into her with slow, thick lunges that made her desperate for more. He moved the fingers on her clit to her vulva, pushing them inside her with a greedy, sharp-edged hunger, as if he wanted to be everywhere at once.

“Give me your mouth,” he growled, and she turned her head, crying out as his tongue thrust past her lips. He was filling every part of her, and it was too much, pushing her over the edge. She came hard and wet and long, sobbing into his mouth. He kissed her more aggressively than he ever had before, then started fucking her harder as he curved her forward, back down to the bed, and followed her over. With a harsh shout, he buried his face in the curve of her throat and rammed himself deep, pulsing inside her in a long, shuddering climax that left them both wrecked. When he finally stirred and carefully pulled out, he lifted her into his arms and carried her back into the shower, soothing her sore body with the hot water and steam, carefully washing and caring for her. As his rough fingers gently touched the puckered entrance where he’d been buried, he softly growled, “No one but me,” in her ear, then moved his fingers to her swollen vulva, touching her there as well. “I mean that, Lily. Only me. You’re mine.”

She nodded weakly, too limp to even be embarrassed by anything that they’d done. It had felt right. And the raw, aggressive way that he’d staked his claim on her had felt right, too.

“I can handle you, Scott. I will be whatever you need. You just have to be honest with me.”

“All I need is you,” he told her, and it was true. With Lily, the games he played for control didn’t matter. There were no rules with her. No boundaries. He just wanted to consume her in every possible way and make himself a permanent part of her life. Make a new life with her. One that didn’t have any ties to the past. One that looked, for once, to the future. He just didn’t know how to make that happen. How to fix what was wrong with him, so that he could be what she needed.

They finally dragged themselves from the shower, and he dried her with a towel, before carrying her back into the bedroom. He stripped off the damp sheets, tossed some dry blankets over the mattress, and then they got into bed. She cuddled against him in the darkness, with her back to his chest, his arms wrapped tight around her. Though her breathing was slow and even, he knew she hadn’t yet fallen asleep. He hadn’t planned on making the confession, but he suddenly heard himself saying, “My mom was a junkie.” He had to swallow against the knot in his throat, but forced himself to keep going. “Not party drugs. The hard stuff. The kind that left you drooling on the kitchen floor, while your kid tried his best to drag you to bed. On the nights you actually made it home.”

“That couldn’t have been easy,” she said quietly, lifting his hand to her lips and softly kissing his battered knuckles.

“It sucked. I never knew when I was going to find her passed out in her vomit or screwing some dealer on the kitchen table or no longer breathing. She finally OD’d when I was sixteen, and I . . . I decided from that point on that I never wanted anyone to mean anything to me. That I didn’t want to feel responsible for keeping someone I cared about alive.”

When he fell silent, she didn’t push him for anything more. She simply rolled over in his arms, cupped his face in her hands, and tenderly kissed his mouth. Something hot and vibrant and tender rushed through him, his hands pressing against her back, locking her against him as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips, her sweet taste somehow washing away the bitterness of his past and replacing it with something that felt strangely like . . . hope.

They kissed for what felt like hours, neither pushing the intimacy to the next level, as if they just wanted to stay lost in the moment, until exhaustion finally claimed them. They slept in a tangled knot, his palm resting against the center of her chest, as if he could hold the rhythm of her heart in his hand. He slipped his other hand under her hair and curled it around her nape, as if he could hold her forever.

But their time was already running out.

TEN

RYDER WASN’T SURE WHAT IT WAS THAT HAD WOKEN HIM. He’d heard something, but it hadn’t been loud. Maybe a creak in the hallway or the rasp of a door being opened. But it’d been enough to catch his attention.

He woke Lily up as he pulled out of her arms, throwing his legs over the side of the bed, careful not to make a sound.

“Scott?” she whispered groggily, lifting up on her elbow.

“Shh.”

“What’s going on?”

Though he didn’t have any proof, he listened to what his gut was telling him. If he was wrong, then he’d let her and Mike have a good laugh at his expense about it later. But he wasn’t going to second-guess his instincts. Not when Lily’s life was on the line. “It’s Rado,” he told her. “He’s here.”

He heard her stifled gasp, but she was too smart to cry out. They both got to their feet and silently dressed. He pulled his cell phone from his back pocket, only to find that the battery had died on him. Shit. And there wasn’t a landline in the room. Grabbing his gun from the bedside table, he checked the clip, then curled the fingers of his free hand around Lily’s wrist and motioned for her to stay behind him as he made his way over to the door. There was a soft scrape of sound as he started to pull the door open, his hand now gripping her arm as he positioned her against the wall. If someone was in the hallway, he didn’t want them getting a clear shot at Lily when he opened the door.

Forcing himself to stay loose and calm, Ryder took a quick look around the edge of the doorway. The hallway was clear in both directions, the low glow of a light in the living room relieving the shadows. He listened for any sounds, but the house was silent, and he wondered where Mike was. If Rado and his men had found the safe house, the odds were high that they’d followed them from the club, which meant they already knew about Mike. It also meant they’d probably been watching him and Lily in the parking lot, and his gut cramped, his lips pulling back from his teeth as he choked back a snarl. He should have never put her in that position, damn it. He’d let his jealousy overrule his common sense, and had failed to protect her. Jesus. He was such a fucking jackass!

And this is not the time for this shit. Not if I want to keep her alive.

Taking a deep breath, Ryder shoved the fury back and focused instead on the problem at hand. He was about to let go of Lily’s arm and step into the hallway, when he heard a deep voice say, “Drop the gun and kick it over to me or I shoot her.”

Fuck! The gritty, accented words had come from across the hall, where Yuri Radovich was now standing in the open doorway to Ryder’s room, gun in hand. The sound he’d heard had probably been when his door was opened, and he thanked God the asshole had chosen to search that room first.

“You can’t shoot her if you don’t have a shot,” Ryder replied, tightening his grip on Lily’s arm. But the monster wasn’t fooled. With a low laugh, Rado eyed the position of Ryder’s body and the visible portion of his arm, then shifted his aim. If he fired the powerful 9mm now, the bullet would go right through the wall and into Lily.

Son of a fucking bitch.

As if she could read his mind, Lily said, “Don’t.” Her low voice vibrated with anger. “Don’t you dare do it, Scott. You know he’s going to kill me anyway. Don’t you dare give him your weapon and leave yourself unprotected!”

“Smart girl, your Lily. But do you really want to stand there and watch her bleed out, knowing you could have prolonged the moment?” Radovich murmured. “Maybe have even given the men who will no doubt be rushing to your rescue a chance to get here in time? We disabled several of the alarm systems you had in place. But who knows if we got them all, eh?”

The bastard was right. He had to buy them more time. Dropping his gun to the floor, Ryder kicked it across the hall, Lily’s shocked gasp echoing in his ears as he watched Radovich squat down to retrieve the weapon.

With a gun in each hand now, Radovich moved forward, nearing the doorway to Lily’s room, and Ryder yanked her behind him, using his body as a shield as he backed away from the door. With Radovich standing in the semi-lit hallway, he had a clearer view of the terrorist, and the man was just as ugly as he remembered. Tall and bulky with an oily head of thinning hair and jowls like a bulldog, he had a crooked nose that sported red veins from too much vodka over too many years. He smelled like sweat and smoke and something sour, the combination enough to turn your stomach if you took too many deep breaths.

“I know what you were trying to do at the club tonight, Mr. Ryder,” Rado drawled with a gloating smile, his Slavic accent adding a guttural edge to his words. “You wanted to draw me out. And it worked.” His smiled widened. “Just not quite the way you wanted, eh?”

“You came alone?”

“Of course not. My men are dealing with the sheriff’s brother as we speak. So I’m afraid he won’t be much help to you this evening.”

Ryder shoved any worry about Mike to the back of his mind, knowing he couldn’t let it get to him. Not now, when he had to find a way to get Lily through this alive. Stalling, hoping like hell that Mike had gotten the chance to call Ben, he asked, “How did you know where to find her?”

Rado’s heavy-lidded eyes glittered with triumph. “Given what I know about you, I thought it a safe bet that she would run here for help. Who better to protect her than the man who would die for her?”

“What do you know about me?” he demanded, the hairs on the back of his neck rising as dread slithered through him like a knife. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Radovich glanced at the right side of his face, then smirked. “The night I gave you that pretty scar, Mr. Ryder. The night you and your men destroyed nearly everything I’d built before you were captured. You made your feelings regarding the girl painfully obvious.”

He shook his head, trying to remember, to understand what the jackass was talking about. He remembered Rado’s threats . . . but not what he’d said in response. Only what he’d been willing to do in order to stop him.

Obviously relishing the sound of his own voice, Rado said, “I was enjoying myself that night, telling you about your friends who had already died, then promising you that I would take out Heller and everyone that you had ever cared about in this world. That’s when you came at me like a rabid dog, screaming the name Lily as you tried to kill me. You had so many injuries you could barely stand, but you kept coming, somehow staying on your feet, swearing that you would gut me before ever letting me touch her. When you were close enough I slashed your face. I just wish I had taken the time to kill you then, instead of leaving you half-dead on the floor to deal with later. I’d wanted more time to properly see to your torture.”

Ryder tried to remember, but his memories were hazy. He just recalled being driven beyond sanity by Rado’s threats, knowing he needed to kill the bastard before the terrorist harmed Lily. He’d been fueled by raw emotion, rather than tactical skill, and it had nearly cost him his life. In his blind rage, he’d allowed the bastard to cut him. But like Radovich had just said, he’d been left alone when something had drawn the terrorist and his men to another part of the building. When Ryder had finally pulled himself back to his feet, he’d almost done the unthinkable and blown up the entire city block using the explosives that were stored in the room just to ensure that the bastard was killed. But then Rado had returned. And he’d been alone. Knowing he had only moments before the rest of Rado’s men arrived, Ryder had shoved the knife that’d been hidden in the sole of his left boot right through Radovich’s heart. The terrorist had collapsed, blood pooling beneath him as more bubbled on his lips, and Ryder had escaped out the second-story window, managing to make it to the safety of his team’s mobile command center by sheer force of will.

He’d never realized what he’d revealed in those telling moments that he and Radovich had faced off against each other. Even after Lily had run to him, he’d been thinking the terrorist wanted her because of Heller. But it’d been because of him.

Son of a bitch. He couldn’t deal with this now. Had to somehow shove it down with all the other shit he would have to face once this fucker was no longer breathing. It didn’t matter that Rado had the guns. He wasn’t going to let this bastard win. If he had to give his own life to save Lily’s then he would. He had no qualms about dying to keep her alive. But if it came to that, he was taking the jackass with him.

“And what now?” he asked, curling his lip in a sneer. “Are you really such a pussy that you’re going to just shoot me?”

Radovich lifted his bushy brows. “What do you suggest?”

His voice was low and controlled. “Put the gun down and fight me, man to man.”

“Last time we did that, you didn’t fare so well,” Rado drawled, eyeing his scar.

Ryder gave him a sharp smile. “Then what are you afraid of?”

Color rose in the terrorist’s face and his eyes narrowed. “I’m not afraid, Mr. Ryder. But I’m also not stupid.”

Going straight for the bastard’s ego, he shook his head and laughed. “I know a pussy when I smell one, Radovich. What’s the problem? Are the years catching up to you? You just don’t have the balls to fight me now, do you?”

Radovich came a step closer, radiating cold, deadly rage. “I think, instead, I will enjoy putting bullets in your most vulnerable body parts, one by one, to make up for the shit you forced me to live through after stabbing me in the heart. I spent nearly six months in a coma, then another three in recovery. Almost a year went by before I could climb out of bed and deal with the scum that had tried to take over my crew while I was healing. And finally, when I was once again at the top, I knew it was time to come after the man who had tried so hard to destroy me.” Rado’s gaze slid to Lily, and his eyes gleamed with malice as they came back to Ryder. “But first,” he snarled, spittle spraying from his wide lips, “I wanted to take away everything that had ever meant anything to him. I wanted to start with what meant most. Which is why I plan on leaving you alive just long enough for you to watch me take your woman, ripping her into pieces, before I finally take your life!”

“Better yet, asshole, why don’t you just drop the guns?” Mike rasped, the barrel of his 9mm pressed against the back of Rado’s head. “Drop them and kick them over to Ryder. Now! Before I decide these walls will look more lively with your fucking pea-sized brain splattered all over them.”

The pistols made a heavy clunking sound as they hit the floor, Rado’s kick skidding them toward Ryder, who stopped them with his foot. “Take it,” he said to Lily, after picking up both weapons and holding Rado’s out to her.

Slipping his own gun into the back of his jeans, he shot a glance at Mike, thankful as hell to see him. “The others?” he asked, wondering about the terrorist’s men.

Mike’s voice was flat, his gaze hooded. “Dead.”

Cracking his knuckles, Ryder said, “Hear that, Rado? Your dumbass goons failed. It’s just me and you now.”

“Scott,” Lily whispered, touching the back of his arm. “You don’t have to do this.”

He looked at Mike. “Get her out of here.”

“No!” She moved to the far side of the room, holding her hands out in front of her, as if she could stop Mike from grabbing her. But she was looking at Ryder as she said, “Please, don’t make me leave you.”

Mike forced a furious-looking Radovich into the bedroom ahead of him, his gun still pointed at the fucker as Mike made his way over to Lily. But he didn’t try to force her out. He simply positioned her in the open doorway, and put his body in front of hers, making it clear that he would protect her with his life. Satisfied that she was safe, Ryder turned his attention to the man he was going to enjoy the hell out of killing. “Now we deal with this in a fair fight, you ugly son of a bitch.”

He would have been lying if he’d said he thought it would be easy. He knew from the intel he’d collected on Radovich that the terrorist had grown up on the streets in one of the poorest cities in Eastern Europe, where he’d had to battle daily for survival. The man also had nearly three inches on Ryder and outweighed him by a good fifty pounds, with a right hook that felt like a fucking wrecking ball. But Ryder had speed and training on his side, and the bone-deep determination to wipe the floor with the asshole for what he’d done to Lily and her family. They traded a dozen punches, landing hammering blows to the other’s ribs, kidneys, and face. A stream of red poured from the terrorist’s nose, while Ryder’s lip was busted open, his tongue tasting the sharp, metallic tang of his own blood. He could tell Radovich was tiring, his fondness for vodka taking its toll on his stamina, and Ryder moved his head from side to side while retaining his fighting stance, anticipating the bastard’s next move. When Rado suddenly rushed him, trying to take him to the floor, Ryder spun to the side and rammed his knee into Rado’s belly, doubling him over. He followed with a swift uppercut to his chin that snapped his head back, then a powerful right hook to his jaw that sent the asshole crashing to the floor. Radovich groaned, looking dazed, not even trying to get up.

Taking his gun from the back of his jeans, Ryder aimed the barrel at the center of Rado’s greasy forehead. Then he lifted his gaze and looked at Lily, who was peeking around Mike’s arm. “Go to my room.”

Tears filled her eyes, her gaze darting to the scar on his cheek. “I don’t want to leave you with him,” she whispered, the words thick with fear.

“I know. But I need you to do this for me, Lil. And I don’t need an argument. Please. Just go.”

She frowned, but nodded. She didn’t look back as she made the short walk across the hallway, then closed the door to his bedroom behind her.

“I’ll wait in the hallway,” Mike said, making it clear that he didn’t object to what was about to happen.

When they were alone, Ryder looked back down at Radovich. “You can’t shoot a man who’s already down,” the terrorist said with a gritty laugh.

A cold smile twisted Ryder’s mouth. “That just shows how little you know me.”

“You’re a lawman. A soldier,” Rado sneered in his thick accent. “Your honor ties your hands and makes you weak. Your mercy makes you pathetic.”

“You came after my woman and you think I’m going to show you fucking mercy, you miserable piece of shit?”

Radovich wiped at the blood on his face, his upper body twisted to the side as he braced himself on an elbow. “You don’t have any choice,” he muttered.

“If the choice is between my honor and her safety,” Ryder said in a low, deadly voice, “then it isn’t any choice at all.”

As if he was finally starting to get the picture, the terrorist’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? You’re going to let a little snatch decide your actions?”

“She’s my fucking heart, you stupid prick. And you’re nothing more than a dead man.” He lowered his aim, then fired, shooting the bastard straight through the heart, killing him instantly. But he put a second bullet through Rado’s forehead, and would have kept firing if not for the fact that Lily was waiting for him.

Stepping over Radovich’s stinking body, Ryder intended to find her and just . . . hold her, but Ben and a small army of deputies suddenly arrived and almost two hours had gone by before Ryder finally made his way to his bedroom. He found her inside, talking on the phone, making arrangements for what sounded like a car service to take her to the airport.

“Lily? What’s going on?” he demanded, shutting the door to the room behind him.

She set the phone down on the bedside table, then turned to face him. Her face was tense and pale. “Now that Radovich is dead,” she said quietly, wrapping her arms around her middle, “I . . . um, called one of my friends in Virginia. She’s bought me a plane ticket home and paid for a car to pick me up. I just needed to give the driver the address.”

“What the fuck? You’re just gonna up and leave?” he scraped out, while inside he was thinking No, don’t do this. Don’t make me lose you. Not now . . .

She sniffed, then took a deep breath before saying, “I’ve had some time to think while I was waiting for you, and I . . . I know you well enough to know that what he said about you being the reason he came after me is only going to push you away from me again. I can’t go through that,” she whispered, swiping at her tears with her fingertips. “Not again. I have to get out before it happens.”

“That doesn’t make any fucking sense!”

Her mouth trembled. “I’m sorry, Scott. I just . . . I know we won’t be able to get through this without something strong holding us together. Without something that’s permanent and lasting. I know . . . I know you care about me. But that’s not going to be enough.”

Christ. This was such a fuckup, and he didn’t know whether to be pissed that she had so little faith in him . . . or if he should just kick his own ass for failing to make his feelings for her clear. “You think I care about you? Like the same way I’d care about my elderly neighbors or a pal at work?” He moved closer, hating the pain he could see shimmering in her beautiful eyes. But, damn it, he was hurting, too. “After last night, is that honestly what you think, Lily?”

She bit her lower lip, and her gaze slid away. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

Bitterness sharpened his voice. “Then you should have thought of that before trying to sneak out on me.”

Her head snapped back in his direction and her eyes went wide. “I wasn’t sneaking anywhere. I was going to talk to you before I left.”

“Yeah? Then call back and cancel that damn car.”

“Scott, I—”

“There’s a hell of a lot we need to say to each other,” he growled, cutting her off, “and we can’t do it here. At least come back to my house with me. You owe me that much.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, then reluctantly nodded, calling the car service to say that she’d be in touch with a new address and pickup time as soon as possible. Working his jaw, Ryder grabbed their bags—a deputy had brought hers from across the hall earlier—then followed her out of the room. They came across Ben in the living room, which was still crowded with deputies, and Ryder told him he was taking Lily home. Ben nodded, casting a worried look at her pale face, no doubt thinking she was upset because of what had happened with Rado, and Ryder didn’t correct him. But he knew Lily well enough to understand that even though she’d been concerned for his safety, she was as thankful as he was that Radovich had finally been dealt with, once and for all.

They made their way out to the Jeep after finding Mike and thanking him, and the drive to his house was quietly tense, the air heavy with the weight of everything that needed to be said. No matter how many ways he turned it over in his head, Ryder knew that the crux of the matter was the fact that she trusted him. Since coming back into his life, she’d trusted him with her body, with her heart, and with her well-being. It was far past time that he trusted her, too. And maybe, just maybe, he needed to trust that together they were right where they were meant to be.

Fuck, there was no maybe about it. He was meant to be by this woman’s side. Today. Tomorrow. For fucking eternity. And there was nothing he was going to let stand in his way. Not fear. Not his past. And sure as fuck not his desire to protect her. It was what he’d been made for. If he was crazy and overly protective at times, Lily would handle him. Hell, that’s what she did best.

After all this time, he finally got it. He’d always felt like he was getting it wrong with Lily because he hadn’t done what he should have done the second she was legal. Which was claim her sweet little ass by putting a ring on her finger, his name after hers, and make sure his fucking stamp of ownership was on every inch of her. And he didn’t feel like a possessive ass for wanting it, because he expected her to claim him in the same fucking way.

The sun was only just coming up as he parked the Jeep in his driveway and climbed out, not bothering with their bags, just wanting to get her inside as quickly as possible. She followed him up the walkway and he opened the front door, letting her go inside first. Then he went in and locked the door behind him. If he could have barricaded the damn thing to keep her there with him, he would have. He couldn’t stand the thought of her leaving him. Of not going to sleep every night with her soft little body in his arms, and waking up to her beautiful smile.

“What do you think of Moss Beach?” he asked, tossing his keys onto the small table that sat at the end of his sofa.

She was standing a few feet away, arms crossed over her middle again, and her expression made it clear that she thought it was a strange question. “Um, I haven’t gotten out much. But what I’ve seen is beautiful. And I like the people you work with. The friends you have here.”

He lifted a hand, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s a good place to build a life. Raise a family. All that normal shit I know nothing about, but that I’m, uh, hoping you’ll show me.”

She stared back at him, her breaths starting to come a little faster. “What are you saying, Scott? Spell it out for me.”

Yeah, it was about damn time that he did that, wasn’t it?

He knew that he was going to spend a long time being pissed at himself for not telling her how he felt all those years ago when he’d had the chance. He’d fucking choked, but he wasn’t going to choke now. He scrubbed his hand over his mouth, then dropped it back to his side, looked her right in the eye, and said, “I love you.”

Ohmygod. Lily’s throat shook, melting, her eyes instantly filling with tears. “Wh-what did you say?”

He took a step toward her, looking as if he very much wanted to grab hold of her. “I love you, and I’m not the kind of man who does things in half measures. So I hope you know what this means. I don’t just love you—I fucking live and breathe you, Lil. You are in every part of me. And I’m done running. I can’t do anything now but grab hold of you so hard and tight you can’t ever get away.”

“I don’t want to get away,” she told him, breathless, unable to believe this was actually happening. “I just want you.”

His smile was slow and sweet and sexy. “Then it sounds like we’re finally on the same page. About fucking time, too. Don’t you think?”

“I can’t think,” she gasped, barely able to breathe through her happiness. “You’re smiling and that always blows my mind.”

He laughed one of those rich, husky rumbles that made her toes curl, and the next thing Lily knew she was in his arms and he was kissing the hell out of her. Then they were ripping each other’s clothes off, and he was taking her down to the sofa, growling that he was too desperate to get inside her to make it to a bed. She smiled and told him that she couldn’t care less about a bed . . . and he could get inside her whenever and wherever he wanted, because she could never get enough of him. He came down over her, his big, beautiful body caging her in, and the way he took her mouth made it clear that he loved what she’d said.

“Sweetest fucking pussy in the world,” he groaned when he slid inside her, a sexy lock of hair falling over his brow as he started to move. The muscles in his shoulders and arms flexed with his incredible strength, his mouthwatering abs rippling beneath his skin with each driving, deliberate stroke.

Straightening his arms, he looked down, then brought that heavy-lidded gaze back to hers. “Watch it go in, Lil. Look at us together. You’re so pretty and pink, your swollen little entrance stretched so tight around me, barely able to take me. But you’re slicking me up so nice and hot, you just suck me right in.”

“Oh, God,” she gasped, lifting her head from the sofa cushion so she could watch.

A deep, guttural growl rumbled in his chest. “You have no idea how incredible it feels when I pull out, all those plush little muscles inside you fighting to hold on to me. And then the slow thrust, forcing my way back in. You have no idea how it feels to know that you’re mine. If you knew, baby, then you never would have thought I could let you walk away.” His gaze sharpened, and his voice got rougher, the raw edge telling her how much he liked what they were doing. “I’ll never get enough, Lily. No matter how many times I have you, I’ll just want you more.”

“Scott,” she moaned, writhing from the blissful sensation of having him so hard and deep inside her. A part of her.

“I love you.” He punctuated each rough word with an even harder thrust, slamming into her with thick, grinding lunges that sent her crashing over the edge. She screamed his name, arching, shuddering, her mouth open as she gasped and cried and tried to breathe through the wrenching pleasure, her body convulsing in sharp, heavy jolts that pulled her tighter and tighter around him.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he snarled under his breath.

“You won’t. I’ll always be here. Always,” she promised, her words pushing him over the edge. His hips jerked against her as he let out a guttural shout, his arms banding around her as his cock spurted hot, heavy blasts of cum into her, filling her up until she was drenched in him. A grin curled her lips when she realized they were definitely going to be dealing with a BIG wet spot on the sofa.

“You’re not getting away from me. Ever,” he groaned when he could finally lift himself onto his elbows and look her in the eye.

“I’m not trying to get away. All I’ve ever wanted was to get closer. Even when I was telling myself that you would break my heart, I couldn’t stay away from you.” She grinned, and gave a dreamy sigh, knowing she must look like a besotted idiot and not even caring. “God, I’ve been waiting for so long.”

He rubbed his thumb against her cheek, his dark eyes showing her every incredible emotion that was burning inside him. “For what, Lil?”

“For this. For you to make me yours.”

“It was inevitable,” he told her, his deep voice husky and low. “There’s no other woman in the world who could ever fit me the way you do. Inside and out. You were meant to be mine.”

She shot him a playful smirk. “I’m glad you finally figured it out.”

“I might be slow, but I get there in the end. And you’re going to enjoy how I make it up to you, baby. I promise.”

There was a wicked smile on his lips, a scorching look of hunger in his dark eyes as he started to harden inside her, and Lily looked forward to his efforts. Almost as much as she looked forward to their future. She had her man, his heart, and she knew that from this point on her life would be filled with pleasure and laughter and more love than any woman could ever possibly deserve.

And she was going to cherish every beautiful, breathtaking moment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rhyannon Byrd is an avid, longtime fan of romance and the author of more than twenty erotic and paranormal titles. She has been nominated for three RT Reviewers’ Choice awards, including best shapeshifter romance, and her books have been translated into nine languages. After having spent years enjoying the glorious sunshine of the American South and Southwest, Rhyannon now lives in the beautiful, but often chilly, English countryside with her husband and family.

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