Wild Shores

Chapter Twenty

Gem took the first trail she came to behind the visitors’ center and strode rapidly away from the building, the parking lot, the people, civilization. If she could, she’d keep walking until the wild grasses swallowed her, absorbing her inconsequential existence into the natural ebb and flow of life as it had persisted for eons, governed by nothing beyond the laws of nature. Not passion, not desire, not fantasy. No illusion, no delusions, only the beauty and violence of unadorned life. After ten mindless minutes, she slowed enough to look at the darkening sky, register the impact of the rising wind on her neck, and note the heavy weight of moisture in the air. The storm—no, the hurricane—was reality too, and she had choices to make.

She could tell her team to evacuate, get into her rental car, and be off the island and back to the safety of the mainland before it hit, leaving the fate of the sanctuary to the whims of nature as she had just imagined she preferred for herself. But she wouldn’t leave, couldn’t leave, and believed without doubt she was as much a part of the natural cycle as the coming storm. If she could save the habitat and creatures of the sanctuary, she must. And to do that, she needed to work with Austin Germaine.

Austin. Still so hard to absorb that the woman she’d spent days with, dreamed of, slept with, was so much a part of this and she hadn’t known. Gem tried to step back, to imagine what her impression would have been if today had been the first moment she’d met Austin. Would she work with her? Of course. She’d have to. Would she trust her? Unknown. Austin seemed forthright, concerned, and knowledgeable. But there was no mistaking her allegiance, either. She worked for GOP, and while Gem didn’t doubt the company and, by extension, Austin, cared what happened to the coastal environment, they undoubtedly cared a great deal more about the image and financial status of the company. Would she like her? In all likelihood, she wouldn’t have given Austin more than professional attention, and that did not require liking or disliking.

None of that mattered now. She couldn’t be objective. Anger at being forced into a powerless position resurfaced. Austin had lied to her. All right, not exactly, but close enough to make Gem feel discounted and manipulated, something she’d sworn she’d never be again. Austin had kept something back, something enormous, something she knew would have a major impact on Gem’s work, on her responsibilities, and on her relationship with Austin.

So many questions she couldn’t answer after the fact. Would she have slept with Austin if she had known Austin’s real purpose for traveling to the island? Would she have gotten involved with her if she’d known she’d have to work with her in a matter of days?

Gem thought the answer to both questions was no. She would have kept her distance. She would have maintained professional boundaries. She would never have looked at Austin and seen the intense, focused, attentive woman who had drawn her out and set her on fire.

And damn it, she couldn’t quite bring herself to be sorry for that.

Frustrated and confused, Gem checked her watch. She’d been gone at least fifteen minutes and she needed to return to the sanctuary. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, run from Austin or her responsibilities. She’d work with her and relegate the intimate moments they’d spent together to the past, where those moments belonged and where they would stay. The ache of loss would eventually disappear. She knew that from experience.

As she crossed the parking lot, Alex called her name. She slowed as Alex jogged over.

“Hey,” Alex said, “I’ve been looking for you. I’m headed back to the station and then out to patrol. Are you sure you want to stay here?”

“You know I have to,” Gem said. “It won’t be my first storm, and I’m the logical one to assess the damage and coordinate recovery.”

“You’re not looking at just a storm,” Alex said. “You might be looking at a major oil spill too.”

“God, I hope not.” Gem balled her fists in the pockets of her windbreaker. “Even more reason for me to stay and organize the various crews. FEMA and the GOP people don’t know this environment the way I do.”

“Germaine and the rest of them seem to know what they’re doing.”

“You were out there on the rig, weren’t you? How did things look?”

“Yeah.” Alex grimaced. “And I didn’t see anything amiss, but I probably should have questioned why there were so few people on the rig. They’d already pulled some of their crew.”

Gem’s stomach plummeted. “So Austin knew there was a spill—”

“No, I think Germaine was telling it to us straight. There’s nothing out there, at least visibly, that points to a major spill. Leaks happen a lot more often than you’d realize.”

“I’m glad of that,” Gem said. “Do you think we’ll be all right, then?”

Alex sighed. “We have only their reports as to how bad things are in the deep. Currents can carry underwater oil accumulations for hundreds, thousands of miles. And if the hurricane hits here? Who knows.”

“We don’t have much time.”

“No.” Alex studied her, frown lines creasing her brow. “You know her, right? Before this, I mean.”

Gem laughed, the sound bitter to her ears. “Yes. A really strange set of coincidences. I rode in with her from the airport.”

“I take it she didn’t mention anything about what was happening out there.”

“No, she didn’t.” Gem wanted to believe Austin wouldn’t have kept the situation quiet if there were a real threat of a major environmental disaster, but how could she know that? It all came down to her not knowing Austin at all.

“Is there something else going on?” Alex asked.

“What? No,” Gem said quickly.

“Then why do you look like you’re hurting?”

“Just worried about the sanctuary.” Gem smiled thinly and grasped Alex’s arm. “And about you, for that matter, out there in what’s coming.”

“You know we do it all the time. It’s not that, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“What do you think of her…Austin?”

Alex blinked at the sudden change of subject. “I think she’s being as straightforward as she can be. She’s walking a line, you know how it is. The information she gave me was completely accurate and honest, if not totally inclusive. Within the letter of the law.”

Gem blew out a breath. “I’m not sure that’s enough.”

“Why does it matter so much what she says?”

Heat climbed into Gem’s face. She was giving away far too much. “It doesn’t, I guess. I just like to know who I’m working with.”

“Well, don’t worry about it too much. I’ll have your back.”

Impulsively, Gem hugged her. “I know. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

“Always.”

Gem watched her sister climb into the Coast Guard SUV and pull out of the lot. She had no choice now but to meet with Austin. She couldn’t avoid her, as much as she wanted to. And as much as she wanted to avoid her, she wanted to see her again too. Torn between desire and disillusion, she strode determinedly inside.

Not quite ready to cross swords with Austin without fortification, she detoured to the canteen for coffee, silently chiding herself for delaying. Avoidance wasn’t her usual modus operandi. Everything about her relationship with Austin was unlike her. She needed to find her balance, her perspective. How she was going to do that in the midst of a crisis was anybody’s guess, but she’d have to find a way.

Emily, the only one remaining from the morning’s meeting, pulled a cup of steaming hot chocolate from the microwave and gestured to Gem. “Want one?”

“Chocolate might be just the thing. I’ve got a minute or two before I meet with Austin.” There, she’d said her name without the slightest hitch and only the faintest skip of her heart.

Emily blew on the steam coming out of her cup, sipped, and nodded. “I’ll fix one for you.”

“Thanks.” Gem dropped into one of the chairs at a table someone had pushed back to its normal spot and closed her eyes. She hadn’t slept after the calls from first her sister and then Austin. She’d spent part of the time Googling Austin, something else she didn’t ordinarily do. Somehow, the whole idea seemed like such an invasion of privacy, but after the strange call from Austin, she had to learn more about her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t learned much at all.

Austin Germaine didn’t have a Facebook page or a Twitter account or a website, and apparently hadn’t authored any articles after a dozen or so on some technical mechanics of deepwater drilling half a dozen years before. Googling Ace Grand brought up all the usual references to her graphic novel titles and awards, but no photos, only a rare interview, and no calendar of personal appearances. Austin aka Ace had managed to keep an extremely low profile on social media. Finally, she found a YouTube clip of a news video from a site in Alaska where an oil transport ship had gone aground and lost its cargo. If she hadn’t really been digging she never would have found it. She wondered if GOP had some sort of process where they scrubbed those kinds of things from the Internet. At any rate, Austin had been as well-spoken and had looked as good on camera as the reporter interviewing her. None of it told her anything about the woman behind the image.

Gem gave a little jump when Emily set a steaming cup of hot cocoa in front of her. “Thanks,” she said again.

Emily sat beside her. “When do you think the FEMA team will get here?”

“Late morning, I hope. They’re quick to mobilize, and I’m sure they want to get here before the storm hits.”

“They’ll likely set up headquarters on the mainland, don’t you think?”

“Probably. Especially if the governor calls for evacuation.”

“Just as well. Too many cooks—” Emily shook her head. “We certainly seem to have a lot of those all of a sudden.”

“I know, but it’s always this way with multijurisdictional situations. Fish and Wildlife, FEMA, the Coast Guard, and, of course, all the privates get involved.”

“I caught a newscast just now,” Emily said, gesturing to the small TV on the counter whose sound was currently muted. “Just a fifteen-second sound bite on the local news about Rig 86 and a small leak, already contained and of no major consequence.”

Gem tasted the chocolate and let the heat and sweetness soothe the rough anger in her throat. “That’s GOP’s first volley to control the situation. I’m sure we’ll hear a lot more if things escalate.”

“Hopefully they’re not going to.” Emily glanced toward the door as if making sure they were alone. “Austin sounded credible. I don’t think we’ve got a major spill yet.”

Gem heard the tentativeness in her tone. “Austin didn’t mention anything about this to me before. I don’t know whether to believe her or not.”

“What do your instincts say?” Emily asked gently.

“I’m not sure I can separate my instincts from my wishes, and I’m not sure I trust either one at this point.”

“I think your instincts are just fine,” Emily said. “I don’t see you sleeping with her if you hadn’t sensed something exceptional about her.”

Gem laughed entirely without humor. “Oh, there’s plenty exceptional about her. She’s talented and gorgeous and has a way of making a woman feel special. God, I sound ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t. Define special—besides, you know, the obvious parts where you feel like a sexual goddess.”

Gem grinned, a flicker of true humor slicing through the gloom that had descended over her. “I wouldn’t use quite that term, but she certainly woke up something in me. It wasn’t just the sex, although that was damn nice. I felt understood, as if when I told her things, I didn’t have to explain myself. As if she cared.”

“I can’t believe you would have felt that way if it wasn’t true.”

The ice settled around Gem’s heart again. “Well, there certainly were some major gaps in our connection. While I was blithely recounting God knows how many personal details, she was holding back a huge part of hers.”

“I’m not going to defend her. I don’t know her at all, and you’re one of my best friends,” Emily said staunchly, “but it’s a big tangle, and the only thing I know for sure is that you are a good judge of your own feelings. So I’d trust them.”

“I’ll try.” Gem sighed and finished the last of her chocolate. She carried the cup to the sink, carefully rinsed it, and set it upside down on the drain board. She squared her shoulders. “I guess it’s time to put that to the test.”