Chapter Seven

Keil

Granite Lake is empty. There’s no sign of him at any of the pack’s summer retreats. We even checked the old-timer’s trapline cabins and came up blank. As for Shaun, he did a supply run up north to Old Crow then parked the chopper and said he was taking a week-long vacation. The locals saw him head into the bush with a backpack. Looks like he’s the only one who knows where Pam and TJ are, and he’s making sure no Alpha can contact him and order him to spill the beans.

I discovered a couple of the other single guys in the pack put together a food package for TJ. Seems he called in favours from all his buddies. All they can say is TJ asked for help and no one turns him down.

BTW, Maggie texted. She said you don’t have to worry about Pam suing us, but you might not get a chance to skin TJ. Pam is very capable of handing out her own chastisement. Did you remember she’s an RCMP? You’re going to die when you hear the division she works in.

Robyn

Shit.

Shit.

Pam was totally going to kill him. And after that Keil was going to rip off his fur and use him for trimming coats. Halfway back from the lake he’d spotted the bear rearing before her. It was probably just trying to figure out what she was—bears had rotten eyesight—but he wasn’t sure Pam knew it simply wanted to catch her scent. And while there was no reason for it to really attack, he couldn’t risk her misunderstanding if it made a false rush forward. His wolf demanded he take action, and before he knew it he had stripped, shifting as he ran to convince ol’ Bruin to hightail it off for a different patch of berries.

TJ moved slowly toward Pam who stared around in confusion. She yelled his name out a few times. “TJ! You ass, get your butt up here.”

She was a freaking dog handler. How was he supposed to talk to her? For the millionth time he wished they were completely mated like full-blood wolves. That he could talk to her mind and have her hear his voice.

“Okay, you look like the pet wolf I met at Maggie’s. But that’s flipping impossible. Stay.”

He froze. Anything to make her more comfortable.

“Shit, you’re not supposed to be trained. How did you get here? Come.” She snapped her fingers and TJ trotted to her side as she continued to call his name out loud in the direction of the lake.

His internal debate continued. If he ran into the trees and doubled back behind the cabin, he could shift and pretend to have been in there the whole time. Except that would explain his absence, but not the presence of the “wolfie”, and it would be a lie.

He didn’t want to lie to her. Didn’t want to keep up the deception. He ached to tell her everything, and following at her heels as she ran to the cabin, he made his decision. He was going to show her.

Maybe it was too soon. But…they’d hit it off, right? Surely it would be better to be honest now instead of coming clean later and having the lies held over his head. She pushed open the door and searched the cabin.

“TJ, where in the hell are you?”

He blocked her path when she would have left the cabin, nudging her instead toward the couch.

“Stop it, I need to find TJ.”

He forced his body weight against her legs to make her move the direction he wanted, and suddenly sharp pain radiated out from his ear, followed by his throat, as she put him into a chokehold.

“Stay.”

Okay, enough of her ordering him around like a dog. He hesitated for all of two seconds before shifting back into his human form.

Pam’s heart rate hovered around three hundred beats per minute. It had shot up there when the bear appeared and pretty much stayed at that level all the way until the damn dog blocked her path. Fuck this, she needed to get out of the building and no animal was going to stop her. Of course, feeling the fur under her elbow change to human skin and discovering she clutched the ear of a naked TJ did things to her blood pressure she was pretty sure were dangerous.

She released him and slammed back into the door. TJ rose to his feet and stepped away from her, his hands held out non-threateningly.

“What. The hell. Just. Happened,” she shouted. He cringed. Okay, maybe she was a few decibels over the safety levels, but…fuck.

“I can explain.”

Pam gasped for air. She wasn’t sure if she was going to throw up or laugh. Her stomach rolled a little more, and she would have closed her eyes but she wanted to make sure she knew where he was at all times.

“Start now. Make it snappy.”

TJ glanced down at his naked body. “Can I pull on some clothes?”

She nodded. Even while freaking out she found him distractingly attractive. He turned and disappeared into the bedroom they’d shared last night, his naked butt teasing her.

He’d turned into a wolf. That wasn’t possible.

He returned and dug into the cooler, poured a glass of something and gestured for her to sit on the couch. She had to peel herself off the door.

“You planning on…” She couldn’t think what to accuse him of. He’d turned into a freaking wolf.

He held out the glass.

“Orange juice. The calories are supposed to be good for people who have had a shock. Damn it, Pam, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to spill the beans this way. The bear wasn’t going to hurt you. I mean, I know that must have been freaky to have him run at you like that, but that’s called a bluff, because this time of year he’d be more interested in the berries. He just wanted to scare you off, but I still needed to make sure you were safe, and I know it’s a lot to take in—” He slammed his lips together and motioned with the glass. “Please, you’ll feel better.”

She sat across from him and sipped the juice. The ringing in her ears slowly died down so she could hear again. He smiled when she placed the empty glass on the table.

He’d changed into a wolf.

That was actually extraordinary. Totally amazing. Incredible and frightening at the same time.

“So this thing you plan on telling me is that in your secret life you’re a pet wolf?”

He burst out laughing, then stopped abruptly. “Sorry, but oh my God, that’s funny. No, I am a wolf but not a pet. I mean, I’m a wolf and a human, but it’s not like the scary ‘moonlight makes me mad and I rip out throats’ or anything. Really.”

Pam resisted clutching her legs. “Werewolf?”

TJ tilted his head from side to side. “Kinda? But more like I’m a human and I can also change into a wolf. There’s no in-between stage.”

She shivered involuntarily. He leaned forward as if he planned to come and join her, and she held up a hand. “Don’t. Just…don’t push it too fast, okay? I think I might be past the point I’m going to fall into a dead faint, but you need to give me some time.”

He sat back and folded his hands in his lap, the hopeful expression he wore making her snort. She rose and paced to the door.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” He sounded panicked and she took pity on him. She’d never figure this out if she ran.

“No, but I need to move. Tell me more.”

“Okay, except…there isn’t much more to tell. I can change into a wolf. Always have been able to, since I was about twelve. Umm, there’s a whole bunch of us, and we—”

Oh my God. “Maggie. Does she know about this?”

TJ hesitated. “Pam, I’m going to be completely honest with you but you have to promise not to freak out.”

A laugh escaped—a little thin and quivery around the edges. “I don’t think I can promise that, but I’ll try.”

“Maggie knows. She’s always known because she’s also a wolf. She married a wolf. My brother is a wolf. His wife is a wolf. Heck, ninety percent of Haines have the wolf gene, either full blood or half. Together we belong to the Granite Lake pack, and we’ve got a kind of government and hierarchy and, well, it’s complicated at times, but usually it’s pretty cool.”

Pam stopped her pacing and leaned on the wall for a minute to calm herself. Everything she’d ever known as reality was slipping away and somehow she had to make sense of it.

Her best friend was able to change into a wolf and never told her? The huge gorgeous men she’d seen at the wedding were all wolf shifters? Unbelievable, and yet it had to be true. Pain swelled inside, not so much fear, but a lack of certainty. Sadness at what she thought was truth being ripped away.

She turned to TJ. Concern was written all over him, in the tightness of his shoulders, the expression on his face. He shook his head slowly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you like this. Please, please don’t be scared. I’ll do anything in my power to make it better. Anything. Ask as many questions as you want, I swear I’ll tell you everything. The only thing I won’t do is let anyone harm my family.” He stood slowly and held out his arms.

Insane. From one moment to the next she was doing everything wrong. He kidnapped her, and she laughed and had sex with him. Now he revealed he was a wild beast at times, and she was powerless to stop herself from stepping into his arms and accepting his embrace.

She clutched him hard, wrapping her arms around his torso and resting her head on his chest. He rubbed her back in slow, even circles. Under her ear his heart thumped, the consistent pulse reassuring and steady. He didn’t say anything—just let her soak in his warmth, the comfort of his presence.

In the midst of her rocking world, he gave her balance.

She drew a deep breath, unsteady and ragged, and he swore. “You’re killing me. It’s going to be okay. Please, trust me. Nothing bad will happen to you. I’ll make sure everything works out.” He lifted her chin and stared at her with compassion, his pupils huge.

She tried to smile. “It’s getting easier to accept, but I am so going to kick Maggie’s butt the next time I see her.”

He leaned toward her, his intentions clear, and she held her breath. Did she want to kiss him?

“Pam?”

More than wanted to, needed to. She lifted her mouth and he kissed her carefully. With a gentle stroke he brushed away the tears that had filled her eyes as her world was thrown into chaos. He traced a finger down her cheek. “Maggie has a story to tell you, but it’s hers to share, not mine. I will tell you she’s always said you were her best friend in the whole world and she loves you a ton. She never kept secrets to hurt you.”

She nodded. “Any other bombs you need to drop on me? Like is drinking the Yukon water going to make me able to shift or anything?”

Pain flashed across his face.

“No, afraid it doesn’t work that way.” He kissed her forehead. “Unfortunately there is one more thing I need to tell you, and it’s probably going to be another doozy of a revelation. You want it before or after supper?”

He released her and she went to the sink to splash her face with water. More mysteries? Her heart couldn’t take much more.

“Is it really important?”

He nodded. “You should sit down.”

Oh shit. “That bad, eh?”

“I’ll promise to turn into my wolf afterward and you can twist my ear again if it makes you feel better.”

She chuckled. “Goof.”

He sighed mightily. “Hold on to your sense of humour, you might need it.”

She sat and he sank to the floor at her feet. His expression was serious and concerned, so different than what she’d seen in him over the past days.

“Hey, where’s that lighthearted guy who makes me smile gone? You can turn into a wolf. It’s not the end of the world, not unless you give me fleas. I hate having to deal with flea infestations.”

He took her hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles tenderly.

“No fleas…but something a little more permanent. I mentioned we’ve got a kind of government? My big brother, Keil, is the head of the Granite Lake pack.”

“Really? That’s kinda cool. Why is that an issue?”

“Well, it’s not, but he’s the Alpha since he’s the strongest wolf around. There’re these unspoken rules that happen in a pack, based on our wolves. Keil and his wife, Robyn, you remember her? They’re the top of the heap. Well, one of the other things our wolves decide is…”

He shook his head slowly and brought her hand to his ear. “Here. You may as well grab on now.”

How could she stay angry around him? She laughed and leaned forward to give him a kiss, smoothing her fingers through his hair. The sensation distracted her. “That’s what your hair reminded me of.”

“What?”

She stroked again, reveling in the softness. So soothing to the touch. Something about caressing, being close to TJ made her happy inside, lighting all the dark corners. “Your fur. The night you slept with me in your wolf form I fell asleep stroking you. That’s what your hair feels like. So soft.”

He shivered. “God, you keep touching me like that and I’m never going to get this out.”

She stilled her hands. “Just tell me. It’s not like you’re going to shock the daylights out of me.”

“We’re mates.”

She paused. “Sure. We’re best buds. Whatever you say. Now tell me the rest of the news because getting freaked out seems to have made me hungry.”

He shook his head wildly. “No, you don’t understand. Mates, as in the way a wolf takes a mate. You know dogs, you must know a little bit about wolves. We have a lot of the characteristics of wolves, and just like there’s an alpha and an omega wolf, our wolves pick our mate and they pick them for life. You, me. My wolf picked you.”

TJ stared into the fire. It was far too early to be getting up and way too late to still be awake. After his little life-changing revelation, Pam had snatched together the fixings for a sandwich then retreated to the bedroom to “get some space to think”. He’d settled in to wait and see what the verdict would be.

He’d screwed everything up. Everything.

Crap, why had he imagined, even for a moment, that hauling Pam into the bush against her will would make anything easier? Time alone, right. He poked the logs and watched the sparks fly upward in protest. That’s what he had now, time completely alone. Just him and the couch, which was lumpy and uncomfortable, and he’d sleep on it for the next week without a single complaint if Pam would give them a chance.

He’d sleep on it forever if she asked him to.

The floorboards creaked in the bedroom and he stood in a rush, staring at the door in the hopes she’d come out. The freaky part was he sensed where she was—and what she was feeling—just a little. His brother had explained once how the connection between him and his mate Robyn worked. While this wasn’t as strong as Keil had described, it was vivid enough to give TJ a teeny tiny fraction of hope to cling to.

Maybe there would be more to their mate connection than he’d dreamed possible.

When she’d barricaded herself in the bedroom, she’d been royally pissed at him, and he’d taken it in stride. It was the confusion that followed and the tears shortly after that had him on the verge of ignoring her request and breaking down the door, because he knew he could comfort her.

Needed to comfort her.

Now he stood as still as possible, trying to figure out the way to connect with her. They had made love—it had to count for something. In spite of the damn condom, there had to be a bond to help them make it through this rough beginning. She wasn’t sleeping, and she wasn’t mad. An even calm greeted him and now he was the one confused. Calm? After all he’d thrown at her in the past couple days?

Holy shit, she was the most intriguing person he’d ever met and right there in that moment all his doubts washed away.

If he had to turn his back on his family to be with her, so be it. He’d move south, find a job. He’d still have to turn wolf every now and then, but he’d find a way to do that wherever she was. He’d court her properly, and eventually she’d accept him, if not as a lover, then as a friend.

It would kill a part of him, but being with her would be worth it.

The door creaked open an inch and their eyes met. He bit his lip. Let her call the shots. Her lashes were still wet from her earlier tears and something tore at his belly. His resolve wavered. Okay, not comforting his mate? Sucked donkey balls.

“Can we talk?”

TJ nodded so rapidly his vision blurred. Pam opened the door wider. He hauled his gaze off where the oversized T-shirt she wore barely covered the tops of her thighs. This was not the time to get distracted, even though his mate made his knees weak with longing.

“Here’s the deal. I know you’re not lying about being a wolf. I saw it.”

Promising opening.

“I also believe you’re insane, in the nicest possible way.”

Umm, that doesn’t sound as good. Begging commences now… “Tell me what you want me to do that would fix this for you. If you want, I’ll shift to my wolf and run until I find a place with a phone. It will take me a while to organize, but I’m sure I can find a way to get you home early.”

She snorted. “You’re not getting out of this that easy, buster.” Pam stalked to his side and grabbed him by the collar. She eyed him up and down and his fading hope flickered back to life. “You promised me seven days of wilderness adventures, with lots of hot monkey sex thrown in.”

“What are you saying?” He could barely breathe.

“Well, other than you have to offer hot wolfie sex, I’m making you stick to your commitment. But you’ve now got an additional challenge. You say we’re ‘mates’. Fine. You have until the end of the week to prove it.”

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