Worn Me Down

Chapter 23 Austin

“I could fuck you forever.”

God dammit. What the hell was I thinking saying something like that to her? Right now, I’m blaming it on my dick. That fucker makes all of my decisions for me when I’m buried inside of this woman. Gwen never commented on it so maybe she didn’t hear me.

After the best shower sex I’ve ever had in my life, shit, the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, Gwen went in to check on Emma and Ellie and hasn’t come back out of the room yet. I decide to call Cole back and apologize for hanging up on him earlier when Emma got hurt.

Cole answers on the first ring. “Dude, what the fuck? One minute you were complaining about stubborn women and the next thing I know the call ends.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Gwen’s daughter had an accident and I had to take her to the hospital,” I explain, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

“Jesus, is she okay?” Cole asks.

“Yeah, she’s fine, just bumped her head and had to get a couple of stitches. She was a trooper,” I tell him, explaining to him about how she sweet-talked the doctor into giving her an extra sucker.

“Well, well, well, listen to you,” Cole says with a laugh.

“What?”

Cole chuckles again at my expense. “Austin Conrad is yammering on about a little girl like he’s a proud parent. Never thought I’d see the day.”

I scoff at him and roll my eyes. “Yeah, I don’t think so, asshole. We both know I’d make the worst parent in the history of the world.”

“You may think you aren’t father material, but I’m pretty sure most of the fathers in the world would disagree with you right now, and I’m right there with them.”

Gwen’s words from earlier echo in my mind, as well as the moment in the hospital when I told the nurse I was Emma’s father and how it made me feel. I’m so lost in thought I didn’t realize Cole has continued talking to me.

“…mentioned something about Dylan Callahan,” Cole finishes.

I’m confused for a minute until I remember that I asked him if he knew the guy from school and hung up on him before he could answer.

“So, you know the guy?” I ask, pretending like I’ve been following along the entire time.

I haven’t told Gwen yet that he stopped by the office; I wanted to get some background information on the guy first. Keeping it from her has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I might have been a little jealous.

Right, keep telling yourself that.

“Yeah, I know him. Well, I knew him. Haven’t seen him in years. We didn’t go to the same high school, but he was friends with Brady and then dated Gwen for a little while, so he was always hanging around,” Cole explains.

Well, shit. Now I know I won’t be able to pretend like I’m not jealous because all I can think about at this moment is Gwen sucking face with that fucker and how she made plans to meet with him while he was in town.

Son of a bitch.

“Dude was kind of intense. Gwen broke it off with him after a few months, but the guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Sent her flowers all the time, notes in the mail telling her they should always be together… shit like that. It really creeped her out until I gave him a talking to.”

At the mention of flowers and notes in the mail a chill runs down my spine. What if William hasn’t been the one doing this shit to Gwen lately? I really hate to give that asshole the benefit of the doubt, but I have to be smart about this. I can’t go after a guy just because I know what he’s done in the past. I have to look at all of the variables and, right now, the fact remains that aside from Ellie, no one has seen William around town or heard from him in a week. Could Dylan have been the one behind the flowers and the letter Gwen got in the mail? Maybe he was the one Karen saw watching her and Emma that day at the park.

It still doesn’t make sense, though, that William would come all the way here from New York, rough up Ellie and then leave again without trying to make contact with Gwen or his daughter. Dylan might have had some stalker tendencies in the past, but William is a mean son of a bitch and I’m not going to let my guard down and allow him to hurt my girls.

There I go again with the ‘my girls’ shit.

“By ‘talking-to’, I’m assuming you beat the shit out of him?” I ask.

Cole laughs. “Obviously.”

“Why the fuck would Brady hire him to keep an eye on Layla then?” I question.

“Brady didn’t know everything that happened. Gwen came to me because she knew he and Brady were friends and she didn’t want to fuck up their friendship. She made me promise not to tell him. Brady and Dylan kept in touch over the years and, according to Brady, the guy is the best at his job in private security. Twenty years is a long time to hold on to a high-school obsession.”

I don’t care if it’s been ninety years, I still don’t trust his ass.

“Can you do me a favor and look into his records? He’s here in town and stopped by Brady’s office to see Gwen when she was out. I want to make sure he’s on the up-and-up before I let him anywhere near her,” I tell Cole.

Cole is the computer hacker on our team and if anyone can find the dirt on this guy, it will be him. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the guy was popped for stalking at some point in the last twenty years.

“You don’t think Callahan’s the one behind the shit going on with Gwen, do you?” Cole asks.

“I have no fucking clue, but I’m not about to make any mistakes when it comes to this.”

I can already hear Cole clicking away on his computer through the line. “I’m on it. I’ll call you as soon as I find anything.”

I thank Cole and hang up the phone, tossing it next to me on the bed. I can hear female laughter coming from the bedroom across the hall followed by Emma’s squeals and I can’t help but smile, which immediately pisses me off. Wiping the smile from my face, I flop back on the bed.

It’s strange for me to be in one place for so long. I’m used to coming home from a mission, getting a few days rest and then heading right back out to do it all over again. When I’m home, the only sounds I ever hear are whatever sporting event I’m watching on TV or traffic outside. I like my privacy; I like my quiet. I like being able to walk through my own house bare-ass naked. I like being single and not having any attachments or anyone to answer to. It’s who I am and it’s who I’ve always been.

“I never asked you to take on any kind of role in our lives. I don’t need that from you.”

With a frustrated growl, I rub my hands over my face remembering Gwen’s words. She made it clear she doesn’t expect more from me. She seems to be fine doing whatever it is we’re doing without making me feel guilty that I can’t give her more.

I should be happy about that. It means that when this is all over, I can walk out of here with a clear conscience and move on.

So why in the fuck does it piss me off to know there isn’t just a tiny part of her that wants me to stay?