Yours, Mine & Ours

Chapter Five

Amanda only had to step into Mike’s living room to grasp the big picture. Near the fireplace, a table lamp had fallen to the ground, its shade askew, its lightbulb and ceramic base in pieces. A tennis ball was in sight. And Teddy was standing in the bathroom doorway. The instant he heard his dad bang through the screen door, he started crying.

“It wasn’t me, Dad! I didn’t do it! It wasn’t me!”

Amanda watched Mike charge over to his son-initially, she was unsure whether he was angry or annoyed or frustrated. But his response conveyed none of those things. He just swiftly scooped up his son and lifted him away from the sharp shards.

Teddy heaved sobs in between extensive explanations to his dad.

“It was a woman who did it. She came in the front door. I said who are you and you’d better get out of here. But she picked up Slugger’s ball and threw it at the lamp just like that. I couldn’t stop her. I wasn’t strong enough. I said, I’m going to get my dad! But then she ran away! It wasn’t me, Dad! It was her! The woman!”

Mike set his son on a chair-firmly-with a glance at Amanda.

“Where’s your broom or vacuum?” she asked.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m telling you the truth, Dad. She had yellow hair. And she was tall. And she had a big purse. And big, big, big earrings.”

“Teddy,” Mike said quietly, sternly. “Your mother was not here.”

“It wasn’t my mother. It was just a woman who looked like her. And had earrings like her. I told her and told her, go away and I’ll call my dad. But she still just picked up Slugger’s ball…”

Amanda figured it was an ideal time to tiptoe away. She grabbed Molly and the picnic basket and took off for home.

It was another four hours before she could call the day quits. All through the kitchen cleanup and story reads and putting Molly to bed, she kept thinking about Mike-about how he was with his son.

They both had their share of parenting challenges. But she liked how he’d handled Teddy with gentle, calm firmness. How his first thought was to rescue his son from potential harm, not to scold. And how Teddy showed no fear of his dad, only absolute, secure trust, even when the squirt had been inventing an incredibly wild story and had to know there’d be some punishment for throwing the ball in the house and breaking the lamp.

She folded the dish towel, poured a glass of sun tea, turned off lights and ambled outside. Instead of choosing a chair or the chaise, she perched on the deck steps.

The sun had just dropped out of sight, but there was still ample light to see the backyard and the plantings she’d done that morning. Robins pranced in the grass. A dove cooed from the shadows.

Slowly, the sky deepened, softened, darkened. She sipped her tea, set it down, stretched out her legs, relaxed. Stars popped into the sky, which was hardly a surprise on a cloudless night…but suddenly there seemed to be stars in the grass, as well. She sat up, confused, figuring the twinkling lights on the ground had to be some kind of optical illusion. The tiny lights switched on, off, one after the other, all through the yard. Five, then a dozen, then more.

It was crazy. She wandered into the yard, feeling the tickly brush of soft grass beneath her bare feet, and extended a hand…something touched her, then lit up. Another one of those impossible “stars.”

“Fireflies. Amazing, aren’t they?”

She whirled around, saw Mike’s shadow from his deck, and immediately felt her pulse kick up. It was because she wanted to talk to him, of course. It wasn’t chemistry. It was that debacle at dinner that she wanted to discuss.

He aimed down the steps, into her yard. Her heartbeat did more of that frisky thing…but there were stars floating and dancing around them, on an evening turned velvet dark, and the man looked downright magical, coming out of the shadows like a prince in a fairy tale.

Obviously her mind couldn’t be trusted.

“I’ve never seen them before. Fireflies? So they’re an insect?”

“And ugly in daylight. But they don’t bite or sting or hurt anything. They’re just putting out flashes to attract the opposite sex.”

Like him, she thought. The damned man kept putting out flashes, forcing her pulse to do that thrum thing, making her somehow want to lean closer to him. Not that she did any such thing. “You recovered from dinner? And just for the record, I think you’re a hero for taking on the sex-education questions.”

He gave a short laugh. “Your daughter had me stumped with the question about why humans have babies and can’t have puppies. Not that it’s a hard question. Just hard to think up an answer that works for a four-year-old.”

“Speaking of four-year-olds…I swear, Mike, my daughter can be absolutely wonderful.”

He chuckled again. “I think she is. She’s honest. And she stands up. My guess is that all that character comes from the red hair. Your set of genes.” And then it was his turn to clear his throat. “And speaking of the other four-year-old…I swear, my son does know how to tell the truth.”

“Of course he does. That’s just what four-year-olds do. Invent. Imagine. It just gets out of control sometimes.”

Mike scraped a hand through his hair. “Well, in my time, we called it lying. The tricky part is that the villain in all his stories is never an ogre or an alligator or a bad guy. It’s always a woman who looks just like his mom.”

Amanda winced-for both of them. “Touchy.” She didn’t motion him toward the steps, but they both seem to aim back there. He took one side and she took the other, neither touching…neither even looking at each other. She thought they were both being seriously smart this time.

Besides, there were those magical fireflies to look at.

“You weren’t kidding about Teddy having mom issues, were you? Or mom-desertion issues.”

He sighed. “I keep trying to turn it around, but I’m not sure how. I was a lawyer by profession, did I tell you that? Right and wrong questions are supposed to be easy. But even when a divorce is right…even when both sides do their best…it’s never so easy for the kids.”

“Totally agree.” She tried not to turn her head. “You’re not working now?”

“No. When I left the downtown firm I was employed by, it wasn’t just the divorce, but wanting something with less pressure, less hours, for Teddy’s sake. I really wanted to take a couple months off, go after a healthier life here. A kid’s life, rather than an adult’s city life. All the stuff we talked about before. Speaking of which…do you know what you’re doing for preschools?”

She started to laugh…and then he did, too.

“I know,” he said wryly. “I can remember when I had the spare time for music, restaurants, a show, whatever. Now it’s analyzing what makes a four-year old fib and deciding whether he needs vaccination shots for preschool. What happened to my real life and will it ever show up again?”

Amanda felt a heart tug…she could have asked the exact same question, and she couldn’t believe there was someone else who understood exactly what she was going through. This kind of talk…it wasn’t like leaning. It wasn’t like counting on a white knight to rescue her. It was just…incredible…to find someone else who needed to reach out for the same reasons.

A friend.

A plain old real friend.

What a wild concept.

“What?” he said, as if trying to read her expression.

“Nothing. I just… It’s nice to laugh. Just laugh. Just be with someone else,” she said honestly.

“Yeah. No strings. No weirdness. No worrisome anything.”

“Exactly,” she said, and in that peaceful moment, her sanity took a complete nosedive. There was no explaining it. Mike lurched up from the deck steps to stand up, and start for home. She stood up at the same time, thinking it was time to turn in. Screen doors were open; it’s not as if they couldn’t hear their kids, but it had been a long day. She suspected he was as ready for an early night as she was, and started to say so.

Only, their shoulders accidentally grazed again, when they were both in motion. And because it was dark, she stumbled on the bottom step. He caught her, kept her from falling. They were still laughing…but then she lifted her laughing face up to his, intending to say something warm and friendly.

Suddenly there was a second of silence. As magical as the firefly night. As compelling as water and food and shelter. As restlessly disturbing as the air just before a thunderstorm.

And then the storm hit.

These weren’t like the kisses before. This was Gorilla Glue. Once he pulled her into his arms, she couldn’t pull free. Once her mouth found his, he either couldn’t or wouldn’t let go.

He spun her-possibly just an instinctive moment to protect them both from falling. Whatever the reason, he whirled her down the step, into the grass, into the dark shadows of the yard. A simple turn somehow escalated into a wild, crazy dance. A dance of kisses. A dance of stolen laughter. A dance of silliness at first, yet transformed by the rhythm of silk and shadows into something darker, richer. Sexier.

He murmured something, into her hair, onto her throat, a whisper that tickled her skin, tingled her senses. She lifted her arms to loop around his neck, wanting to look at him, to understand what was going on.

He looked back, but his eyes were too dark, too mesmerizing. His palms skidded down her sides, taking in ribs, waist, hips, shaping her, learning her. Then he bent down for another sweep of a kiss, this one involving teeth and tongues and pressure.

She curved closer, spine bowed, so her breasts and belly could rub against him. She hadn’t felt this ignition charge since…since he’d first kissed her. But that was controllable. This wasn’t. The divorce had brought on an epic stretch of sexual deprivation. But desire so fierce, so luscious, that she couldn’t catch her breath?

He made her feel it. The desire to risk all. The brand of need that tangled every nerve in the body. Abandonment. That’s what she wanted. Just once in her life. To abandon all reason, all good sense, and just give into the power of this man, this moment, this incredibly powerful wildness.

A dog suddenly barked. Not his hound. Not her Darling. A neighbor’s dog…reminding her-and apparently Mike-that they were in the middle of a neighborhood. His head shot up. She lifted hers at the same time.

This wasn’t a Shangri-la with fireflies.

It wasn’t a fantasy.

It was real life. With both their kids behind screened doors mere yards away.

“Good grief,” she murmured, aware that her shorts seemed to be unbuttoned, her tee dragging off her shoulder. That his tee had been pushed up. Possibly even by her…since no one else appeared to be glued to him.

“Hell,” he responded. Then, “You want to hear I’m sorry?”

“No, of course not. It just…happened. I don’t believe you planned this. And I sure as heavens didn’t.”

He nodded, relief in his face as he stepped back.

“Good thing we understand each other. Nice to have a friend where you don’t have to sweat guilt or regrets or explanations all the time.”

“You said it,” she said. Somehow her voice came out oddly hollow. “Thank heavens we’re just friends.”

Thankfully, sanity returned with daylight…and more sanity shored up after days passed without seeing her neighbor. The mosquito bites faded. The mark on her throat slowly disappeared. The raw feeling in her heart… Well, she banished it. As she was sure Mike had.

They’d been a pinch away from making love. Out side. In the grass. With the fireflies and mosquitoes. In public.

Well.

That certainly wouldn’t happen again.

“When’s Daddy coming?” Molly asked-for the fifth time in the past five minutes.

Thom had been due a half hour ago. “Any minute now.”

“He said we were going to do something special. He said it was a surprise.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“Daddy said he’s going to buy me a bunch of stuff.”

“Did he?” Amanda lifted the brush. They’d already done Molly’s hair. Twice. But Molly wanted it “perfect.”

“Daddy said we’ll have so much fun that I can stay overnight next time.”

“I’m sure he believes that’s true, lovebug.” And it would happen when hell froze over, but Amanda didn’t say that to Miss Priss. The outfit for the day, after long deliberation, was a panda-bear tee in purple and pink, pink capris, sandals with panda-shaped bows and, of course, sunglasses with the same motif. Molly, naturally, had coordinated it all.

Amanda contributed a bag with bug spray, sunscreen and a variety of healthy snacks to hand to her ex. The jerk wouldn’t think of any of that. He’d be too busy buying off his daughter.

Just a half hour before, the mail had arrived-and she’d gotten the letter from Friend of the Court, expressing Thom’s request for full joint custody. She knew why he wanted it. So he could cut her child support.

“Can I go outside, Mom?”

“Sure. We’ll wait outside.”

Thom was just pulling in. The car was brand-new, a gleaming black hybrid. The devil stepped out, looking handsome as sin-white smile, cool shades, the same elegant posture and walk that had drawn her attention to begin with.

It was embarrassing to remember how naive she’d been back then.

Molly yelled, “Daddy!” And he swung her up and around in his arms as if hoping the whole world was watching-with a camera-so he could prove how much his daughter adored him.

Which Molly certainly did. She chattered ten for a dozen as she crawled into the backseat, automatically strapping herself into the child’s seat. He glanced up, said, “Amanda” as if he’d just noticed her.

“You’ll have her back by seven?” Amanda said.

“I’m sure you’ll call me if I’m five minutes late.”

His tone was snotty. She let it go.

Still, seeing him invariably provoked some icky memories. Discovering all Thom’s cheating had been a blow-but the worse blow had been his explanations. He actually believed that he was entitled. That casual sex with others “didn’t take anything away” from her. He believed they had a terrific life, including a great sex life, so what he did in his spare time would never have mattered, if she just hadn’t found out.

Oh, yeah. He’d also mentioned that becoming a mother had made her less physically attractive, less attentive, less adventurous and fun.

He must have thought she needed that extra kick in the teeth.

Now she thought…maybe she had. Because that fight had given her the momentum to kick him out.

She waved goodbye to Molly until the black car turned the corner, then whipped around. She had tons to do today. Drapes. Closet organizing. Rug issues. All the kinds of new-home projects that were boring for Molly, and Amanda could accomplish twice as fast if she were alone.

She’d just reached for the front doorknob when a car pulled into Mike’s driveway. Two people emerged from the steel-gray Volvo. The woman, stepping from the passenger side, was a stunner. Salon blond. Tall and sleek, doing the safari linen and khaki style thing. A toned figure that made any normal woman want to slap her.

Mike’s ex, Amanda assumed.

But the car’s driver was the shocker. The man climbing from the driver’s seat was sneezing into a handkerchief. He was a little guy with a sweet face and a comb-over. He wore an immaculate white polo, with creased shorts that unfortunately revealed bony, ropy legs. Possibly he weighed in at one hundred and fifty pounds, after a stuffed dinner. Possibly.

She wasn’t staring. She’d have gone right back in her house, except that Mike’s front door opened, and out zoomed the hound, the cat, Teddy and finally Mike.

The hound and cat looked excited to see the visitors. Teddy was hanging on tightly to Mike’s hand.

The driver of the car took one look at the animals, and dove back in the car, sneezing several times in succession. Mike, who had a disreputable look to start with, looked even less shaved, less brushed, less kempt than usual. More sexy. But he definitely had made a point of looking just-woken-up and didn’t-give-a-royal-fig.

The blonde crossed the walk, bent down, took Teddy’s hand. The squirt was holding back tears, but he talked to his mother and was eventually coaxed into the backseat of the Volvo.

“I’ll have a cell phone on all day,” Mike told her.

“He’ll be fine with me.” To Teddy, in a sugary voice, she said, “We’re going to have a great day, honey, I promise. And George is really looking forward to our day together.”

When the Volvo backed out of the driveway, Mike was still standing there, flanked by the hound and the cat. He spotted her when he turned.

Amanda had a flashback of fireflies and a wild, erotic mating dance…but she tamped that memory down. “What was that?” she asked.

“You mean, the guy?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s one of the main reasons I gave up sex after the divorce.”

She’d done a fine job of steering clear of him for almost a week, but shoot. There were some things she could resist. This wasn’t one of them. “I’m bringing fresh coffee,” she said, went into her house, refilled her mug, filled one for him and crossed the driveways to his front porch.

He was sitting on the front step, with his critters. Cat wasn’t about to budge, but the hound made room for her.

He accepted the mug, took a long deep slug of it. Said, “George is a germ freak. He’s afraid of dirt and germs. Or about everything important in a little boy’s life. Teddy can’t do anything right when he’s over there-and I’m going to worry about him the whole damned day.”

“I would, too.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said firmly, and then, “She’s not pushing for custody. Good thing. Because I’d fight her to the wall. But I can’t deny her time with Teddy. I mean, she’s his mother, for God’s sake.”

“I understand.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said again, took another gulp of coffee, hunched elbows on his knees and then went on. “I couldn’t believe it when I found out she was cheating. I know this sounds damned egotistical, but I honestly believed that part of our lives was fine. Better than fine. So the worst part was finding out she was cheating with him.”

Since he’d already finished his mug, she handed him hers. She wasn’t drinking more coffee anyway. She tried not to breathe. She didn’t want anything diverting him from telling her more of the story.

He shot a gesture to the sky. Not the middle-finger gesture. Just a frustrated gesture. “If she was going to cheat, at least it could have been with a better-looking guy. A richer guy. Someone who had some appeal, I could see. But Mr. Dork there? Talk about a kick in the nuts. Not that I want to talk about it.”

“I can see you don’t.”

“But then and there, I voted for celibacy for the rest of my life. I mean, I admit, I worked long hours. But I also made good money. When Teddy was born, I brought in help for her, with the baby and the house. Made sure she had private time to see her friends, take on projects, not always feel tied down. And she was a good mom. I thought. And I thought I was making time for the two of us. We still went out. Did things. Hell. I didn’t even know she was unhappy. She just said out of the blue that she was leaving. For George. And told our son that we hadn’t gotten along, but Teddy never saw us not getting along. So he keeps saying he knows it was because he was too much trouble.”

“Yikes,” she said gently.

“He’s not too much trouble. But that bozo makes it all worse, because Teddy can’t please him. He really, really tries, but sooner or later, a glass of milk is going to spill. Or he’ll forget to flush. Or he’ll pick up something he’s not supposed to touch. Or he’ll do something wrong, on George’s terms. Nobody yells at him. He just hates it there. You know what he tells me?”

“What?”

“That going there makes him sick to his stomach. That’s why I did the worm farm. And dug the water garden in back. I just wanted to let him do certain things-make messes, get dirty. If he spills some water, putting water in the dish for the dog and cat, it’s like, so what? He’s learning to take care of pets, to look out for them. He’s four. How is he supposed to do anything perfect when he’s four?”

“Mike?”

“What?”

“It kills me, too. When I have to give up my kid for the day. And I had a huge list of stuff on the day’s plate, from curtains to wallpaper to organizing closets. I still have dishes in boxes. And-”

“Good grief. I could get tired, just imagining you trying to accomplish all that.”

“I’m tired, just thinking about it. Which kind of sparked a new thought.” She hesitated, certain a bad idea was about to surface, yet for that precise second she couldn’t analyze why it was so bad. “How about if we spend a few grown-up hours together? Have lunch out. Someplace you’d never take four-year-olds. Then see a movie. Something-anything-that’s not a cartoon or has Disney anywhere in the credits.”

He looked at her. She looked back. He said, “I’ll change shoes and get my wallet.”

“I have to take the dog out.”

“Speaking of which-”

“No, she hasn’t been to the vet yet. The whole thing got kind of complicated. I had an appointment, then their office called and said the vet had a family emergency. But she’s seeing Darling in two days. The appointment’s made. So that’s not a problem on the table today.”

“Okay, then. Five minutes. Back here. My car?”

“Fine by me.”