Zipporah's Daughter

The Return of Lisette

IT WAS THE SPRING of the year 1775 and four years since my marriage to Charles. I was a very different person from that girl who had travelled to Tourville for her wedding. I had grown up quickly under Charles’s tuition; he taught me how to come to terms with life and I was, on the whole, grateful for that.

I would say that our marriage had been satisfactory. There was a definite physical attraction between us and I had discovered that I, no less than he, could find great satisfaction in such a relationship.

During the first months of our marriage neither of us had thought of much else than the passion that we could arouse in each other. He had recognized in me what, in his cynical way, he called ‘a suitable companion of the boudoir’, which meant a woman who was not ashamed of her own desires and who could rise to those heights of passion which he liked to scale—so that as one they could revel in the delights of physical intercourse between the two sexes.

In the beginning I had thought a great deal about Sophie and consoled myself with the certain knowledge that she would never have been able to accompany Charles in those flights of ecstasy.

He was a connoisseur of love—perhaps I should say lust; and also of women. He told me once that he could tell at a glance when a woman had—his term again—love potentialities.

‘As soon as I saw you bending over that crystal ball I recognized those qualities to a large degree,’ he told me.

Was I in love with him? What was love? I asked myself that many times. In love as my mother and father were? No, not like that. That was some ideal state to which people came perhaps when they were old and wise and no longer bedevilled by the urgings of desire. What a contented relationship that must be! No, certainly Charles and I were not like that.

During those first months when we seemed to mean everything to each other, my heart would leap with joy when he appeared and I was always uneasy when he was away from me; I longed during the evenings when we were with his family in the long salon at the Tourville château for the moment when we should retire and be alone.

It never occurred to me to wonder then whether this excessive excitement would last. I supposed my parents had once felt like that in those long-ago days when I was conceived. Then they had parted for years and had only come together when they were middle-aged with much experience behind them, and with the raging desire no longer there to cloud their judgement. And so they reached that deeply contented, perfect relationship.

Charles was certainly the perfect lover. I could be sure he did not feign his need for me. I could not for a moment doubt it. Yet somewhere in my mind I knew that it could not last … not at that breathtaking level at any rate; and would what was left to us be strong enough to build on it that sort of love I had seen and envied a little in my parents?

The Tourville family itself was not very exciting. Charles’s father was an invalid; his mother a mild woman who adored her family. There was a sister Amélie for whom a marriage was being arranged.

They were a wealthy family, although not nearly so rich as my father; and clearly they had been delighted with the alliance between our families. They would have preferred Sophie, of course; but it showed how much they wanted an alliance to have accepted a daughter of illegitimate birth. However, the dowry had been the same as that which would have gone with Sophie.

I should have found life at Tourville very dull but for Charles.

So I went on in that excited state until I became pregnant, which was about eight months after my marriage.

Everyone at Tourville was delighted and when messages were sent to Aubigné there was great rejoicing there.

During the first three months I felt wretchedly sick and after that when I began to grow bulky I was in no state for night frolics with Charles. I guessed then that he found a mistress, for he was not the sort of man to deny himself, and he would think, from what he had always been brought up to believe, that it was the natural course of events.

Strangely enough, coming into motherhood had changed me too. I was absorbed now in the baby and that was enough for me.

Charles was the devoted husband, delighted that I had shown so soon evidence of my fruitfulness and he did not show any rancour because I could no longer endure him in my bed.

My mother came over from Aubigné to be with me at the birth and the delight of everyone was great when I produced a healthy boy.

We called him Charles, which soon became Charlot, and from the moment I heard his first lusty scream he was of the utmost importance to me.

Those were some of the happiest months of my life. I remember so well sitting up in bed with my baby in my arms and people coming in to admire him and congratulate me.

Charles walked round the room with the baby in his arms.

‘Clever, clever Lottie,’ he said, and kissed me.

My father came to see his grandson. He held the child aloft and looked at him with such pride that I laughed.

‘I see you are pleased with him,’ I said.

Reverently he laid the child in his cradle and came to sit beside my bed.

‘Dear Lottie,’ he said, ‘what a happy day it was when you came to me and now it is you who have given me my first grandchild.’ He took my hand and kissed it. ‘Your mother is so proud of you … and so am I.’

I said: ‘You overrate me. It is no great achievement. Women are doing it all over the world at this moment.’

‘Some seem incapable of it.’ He sighed.

I knew he was thinking of Armand and Marie Louise. It was a great disappointment to him that there was no child of that marriage.

After the birth of my son my relationship with my husband changed. He was no longer the delighted teacher, I no longer the pupil avid to learn. I had become mature somehow.

We were lovers, but love-making seemed to have become a routine instead of the indescribable thrill it had once been.

I suppose marriage was like that. However, I had my son and that was contentment enough.

Spring had come and I was going to Aubigné to visit my parents. I rarely went to Aubigné and usually found some reason for not going, suggesting that my parents come to Tourville instead. They were frequent visitors for they wanted to see their grandson growing up. My father would have liked us to live at the Château d’Aubigné but that of course was out of the question. Tourville was Charles’s home and responsibility and I was his wife.

So I continued to make excuses that it was difficult travelling with a child and they came to us.

Charlot was two—old enough to be left to the care of his excellent nurse and I was to make the journey to Aubigné because my mother had sprained her ankle and was unable to make the proposed spring visit to Tourville.

‘She longs to see you,’ wrote my father. ‘Do try to come. I know little Charlot is too young to travel, but if you could spare us a week or so it would so please your mother.’

I decided that my desire to stay away from Aubigné must be conquered. I still thought of Sophie on the night before I had left, standing at the foot of my bed, so tragic in the wedding-dress she believed should have been hers, with the veil falling away from her poor scarred face. Surely over the years she had come to terms with her fate; surely common sense must tell her that I was not to blame for what had happened to her. Although I had looked, I had never found the artificial flower which had caused her such distress, and presumed it had been mislaid when the maid was packing for me at some time.

I arrived at Aubigné in the early afternoon. My parents were waiting for me and I laughingly protested to my father that he would suffocate me in his embrace. My mother looked on with that expression of pleased content which she always wore when my father and I were together.

I was showered with questions. How was I? How was Charlot? Had I had a good journey? How long could I stay?

‘Soon Charlot will be old enough to travel,’ said my mother. ‘We thought you would like your old room. We haven’t used it since you went. I don’t like the thought of anyone else in it. Silly of me. But there are so many rooms in the castle.’

She was babbling on in her excitement and I felt happy to be with them.

But I was not so happy to be in that room of memories. I hoped I should not dream of a ghostly scarred figure coming into my room.

We dined alone.

‘Armand will be back tomorrow,’ said my father. ‘He is at Court. There is a great deal of trouble brewing. Last year’s harvest is the cause of it. You remember how severe the weather was. It has been difficult to keep down the price of grain. The King is most disturbed. He really does seem to care. A change from his grandfather … that wicked old reprobate.’

It was a year since Louis XV had died and young Louis with his wife Marie Antoinette had, so we had heard, been overcome with emotion when they had been called upon to rule. Louis had been nineteen and his Queen eighteen and it was known that they had knelt and prayed: ‘Oh God, guide us and protect us. We are too young to rule.’ And the whole nation had been moved by the plight of these two young people, but heartened by their realization of their duties and determination to carry them out, which was in such contrast to the old King. It had seemed that a new era was coming to France, so it was unfortunate that right at the start of the new reign there should have been such a hard winter producing a bad harvest.

‘Young Louis did well in putting Turgot at the head of finances,’ said my father who seemed unable to keep his thoughts from politics. ‘He is a good, sincere man who is eager to do his best for his country. But it is not going to be easy to keep down the price of corn and if the cost of bread goes up, which seems inevitable, that is going to make the people restive.’

‘Oh dear,’ I sighed. ‘There are always these troubles. I want to hear about Aubigné. Sophie … ?’

There was a brief silence.

Then my mother said: ‘She keeps to her turret. I do wish she would be with us more. She is becoming a hermit. Jeanne chooses which servants are to go in and clean. She really is rather autocratic. But what can we do? We have to bow to her. She really is so necessary to Sophie.’

‘I hope I shall be able to see Sophie while I am here.’

‘She refuses to see people. It is very sad to think of her up there … her life slipping away.’

‘Is it possible for anything to be done for her?’

‘There are lotions and creams. Jeanne is always going out to the markets and bringing things back. How effective they are I cannot say. Not very, I should think, for Sophie stays up there and it is really only Jeanne who has any communication with her.’

‘It would be better if she went into a convent,’ said my father.

‘Is she likely to?’

‘No, Marie Louise is more likely to do that.’

‘Marie Louise is a very good girl,’ said my mother.

‘Too good for this world,’ answered my father shortly.

My mother lifted her shoulders. ‘She should never have married,’ she said. ‘She cannot bear children. I think they have given up the attempt.’

‘One can’t blame Armand,’ went on my father. It was clear that he had no great love for his daughter-in-law. ‘She is so pious. The chapel is always in use. Once a day used to be enough. Now she spends most of her time there. Her servants have to attend with her. It is most depressing. At this moment she is staying the night at the Convent de la Forêt Verte. You know it. It is only three miles from the château. She is endowing it with a new altar. Lottie, this place has changed since you left us.’

‘Your father longs for the days when you were here, Lottie,’ said my mother. ‘Then Sophie behaved more normally. She was always quiet, and then there was that other girl … ’

‘Lisette,’ I cried. ‘I often think of her. I wrote to her but she never answered. How is Tante Berthe?’

‘The same as ever.’

‘I do want a word with her before I go. I should really love to see Lisette again.’

‘She was a very pretty girl,’ said my mother.

‘And still is, I don’t doubt,’ I replied. ‘It would be so interesting to see her again. I shall certainly beard Tante Berthe in her den. She is still in the same quarters, I suppose.’

‘Just the same. She is very proud of them and no one is allowed to go in without an invitation.’

‘What a martinet she always was!’

‘But an excellent manager,’ said my father. ‘We have never regretted her coming.’

‘I am surprised that she allowed Lisette to escape. She used to watch over her so carefully. Lisette used to be really scared of her … the only person she ever was scared of.’

Then we talked of other matters but I went on thinking of Lisette and the fun we used to have together. That was inevitable now that I was at the château.

The next day Marie Louise came back from the convent. She was far from good-looking and despised those little aids to beauty which most women seemed to use nowadays. She wore her hair very simply tied back. None of those Marie Antoinette styles for her. Her gown was dark grey and decidedly drab. When I expressed my pleasure at seeing her and said that I hoped we should be together sometime, she told me she sewed for the poor every afternoon and if I would care to join her she would find some work for me to do and she could tell me about the altar she was going to build for the Forêt Verte.

I did not find the prospect very exciting and as needlework had never appealed to me, I allowed the invitation to lapse.

It was pleasant to see Armand. His unsatisfactory marriage did not appear to have changed him at all. He was of a placid nature and apparently took what came to him in a philosophical way. I was sure he had a pleasant mistress somewhere—several perhaps—and he was quite content to leave matters as they were.

The Comte, however, was less ready to accept the state of affairs. My mother told me how disturbed he was by Armand’s sterile marriage.

‘There is the family line … the estates and everything. Your father is worried about that. However, he is delighted with little Charlot.’

Then we talked of my son and she wanted to know what he had done and said, for he could chatter away quite intelligently now, which we both declared was miraculous; and we spent a great deal of time talking of him.

I did see Tante Berthe in her rooms when I was granted an interview. I thought how I should have laughed with Lisette afterwards, if only she had been there to laugh with me.

Tante Berthe in black bombazine, very plain but most elegantly cut and very severe, was a most dignified lady. She made tea for me, which showed how conscious she was of the ways of society, for tea-drinking was becoming quite a fashion in France. It was called Le Thé anglais. In fact, my father had told me, it was now the mode to look English. The Parisian shops were full of cloth from England and long coats with triple capes were being worn with stock hats. The shop windows displayed signs: ‘English spoken here.’ Lemonade-sellers were now offering le punch, which was said to be exactly as drunk in England.

I expressed my surprise to my father, for there had never been great friendship between our countries.

‘It is not a matter of friendship,’ said my father. ‘Most Frenchmen hate the English now as much as they did after Crecy and Agincourt. It is simply a fashion to turn people’s minds away from the trials of the country.’

In any case Tante Berthe had her tea.

‘Just as the English drink it,’ she said. ‘You would know, being partly one of them.’

I declared it was delicious and she asked how I was getting on and how the baby was.

I answered these questions but very quickly came to the subject of Lisette.

‘I rarely hear from her,’ said Tante Berthe. ‘She is kept so busy.’

‘I should love to see her.’

That was greeted with silence.

‘Does she seem happy?’

‘She has a little one now.’

‘A little one? A baby?’

‘Yes. A little boy.’

‘Oh, I would love to see her. Do tell me how I can get into touch with her. I will ask her to come and visit us.’

‘I don’t think that would be wise, Mademoiselle Lottie.’

‘Not wise? But we were always such friends.’

‘Oh, she has her life now. It is not the life of the château but she is beginning to grow content.’

‘Please tell me where I can find her.’

‘She wouldn’t want that.’

‘I am sure she would want to see me as much as I want to see her’.’

‘It was hard for her to get accustomed to farm life after living as she did. It was above her station. She’s settling in now. Leave well alone. She is happy now. You must not remind her of the life she once had.’

‘It was strange that she should marry a farmer. She always used to say that she would marry into nobility.’

‘Real life is different from dreams and it is real life that has to be lived.’

I begged once more for knowledge of Lisette’s whereabouts but Tante Berthe was adamant and refused to tell me.

‘You have your life here; she has hers. She is happy now. Don’t try to spoil it and make her discontented again.’

‘What is the name of her little boy?’

‘I don’t think you should bother yourself with such matters. It is better not.’

‘I really cannot see what harm knowing a name can do.’

Tante Berthe sat back in her chair, her lips tight. Then she drained her dish of English tea and set it down so emphatically that I knew it was time for me to go.

I went riding with my father. I was gratified to see how he enjoyed being with me. There had been a strong rapport between us from the day of our first meeting but he treated me now with respect as well as affection and was so grateful to me for giving him a grandson.

He talked to me more seriously than he ever did to my mother. She was easily alarmed and I knew that she used to fret every time he was out of her sight. He told me that he was uneasy about the state of the country. Conditions had grown bad during the last reign. There was too much poverty in France; bread was too costly and in some places people were starving. Moreover the last King had lived in the utmost extravagance. ‘Think what it must have cost to maintain Le Parc aux Cerfs and purely for the purpose of satisfying the King’s jaded appetites. Madame du Barry lived in the utmost luxury. The King never stinted himself at all although he must have seen disaster coming. He hated the mob. That was why he rarely went to Paris and built the road from Versailles to Compiegne to bypass the capital. Such a state of affairs cannot last forever. There comes retribution. It is unjust that this should seem to be approaching now that we have a new king who appears to be ready to listen to reason.’

‘What are you afraid of?’

‘Of the people.’

‘But surely there are laws to keep order.’

‘Sometimes such order breaks down. I happen to know that at the Palace of Versailles the King is in long and anxious conferences with his ministers—chiefly Turgot. They both see the dangers and Turgot has set up ateliers de charité in Limoges where bread is distributed to the poor.’

‘It may be that next year there will be a good harvest. Wouldn’t that make everything all right?’

‘It would help.’

‘Then let us pray for a good winter.’

We rode on and came to the town. That there was something unusual going on was obvious from the moment we came into it. Little knots of people were standing about. They looked at us as we rode past in a way which I thought had a certain hostility in it.

‘What’s happening?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know,’ replied my father. ‘Keep close.’

We came into the market square. Someone had set up a platform and a man was standing on it. He was very tall with a lean cadaverous face, somewhat tanned by the weather. He had flashing eyes which were of a vivid shade of blue and he wore his hair unpowdered and cut short as some peasants wore it; his clothes were ragged and ill fitting yet he wore them with a certain distinction.

He was speaking in a deep voice which could be heard all over the square.

‘Citizens,’ he cried, ‘will you let them starve us? Will you stand aside and touch your caps when the gentry pass by? Will you say, “God bless you, my lord. ’Tis right and fitting you should sup from a laden table while I go hungry? This is the law. God put me where I am and you where you are. I am content to starve and see my children starve that you may eat to the full, my lord, and spend good money on fine clothes and drink and women. Oh yes, my masters, you are you and therefore the land of France belongs to you. We are here to serve you, to grovel for the few sous you throw at us. We are here to eat the filthy stuff you call bread—if we can get it … ”’

My father had turned white and I could see that he was growing very angry. I was very conscious of those sullen people surrounding us. I turned away, believing that if I went he would follow me.

‘Comrades,’ the man was saying, ‘are you going to stand aside? Are you going to let them treat you worse than cattle? Or are you going to stand up and fight for your rights? Stand up and fight, comrades. Fight for your bread. They are taking the grain along the river now. It is for the King’s granaries … for he must have plenty, must he not? It is only you, my friends, who must starve.’

‘Come away,’ I said quickly. ‘Come with me. I am going now.’

I knew it was the only way. I turned my horse and started to move through the crowd. I was relieved that my father was close behind me and that the people moved—albeit sullenly—to let us pass through.

We came to the edge of the town before I turned my head to look at my father.

‘That rogue,’ he said, ‘is inciting the people. He is trying to raise a riot.’

‘And by the look of some of them it seems that he might succeed.’

‘He was no peasant.’

‘No … I don’t think he was.’

‘He’s an agitator. There are many about. I should have liked to take him by the scruff of his neck and expose him.’

‘That was what I was afraid you were going to do so I moved off to prevent you.’

‘You were wise. They might have killed us. This confirms what has been in my mind for some time.’

‘What is that?’

He looked at me quickly. ‘Don’t tell your mother. It would alarm her. But for some time I have believed that there were subversive forces at work. There are men in the world whose intentions are to overthrow monarchies everywhere and the Church with them. In other words they plan revolution. Where would such men seek to begin their campaign? In the weakest place, of course. France is weak. She has suffered years of inept rule; there has been little justice in the country; the monarchy has been selfishly indulgent; the people have become poorer; some of them are indeed close to starvation. You see, France is offering these men the very ground in which to sow their seeds of revolution.’

‘And you think that man … ’

‘He is one of many. Very soon … perhaps at this moment, those men who were listening to him will be roused to fury. God knows what they will do. They will raid the shops … steal the goods … and they will kill any who try to prevent them.’

‘How glad I am we escaped.’

‘Oh, Lottie, I see evil times ahead for France unless we stop this rot. We have a new King; a good minister in Turgot; there will be others. We have a chance if only the people will let us take it.’

We rode thoughtfully back to the château.

Before the day was out we knew that what we had seen in the town square was the beginning of trouble. Armand came in the late afternoon to tell us that a mob had attacked the boats which were laden with sacks of corn; they had ripped open the sacks and thrown the corn into the river.

My father was furious. ‘This is surely not the work of hungry men,’ he said. ‘I am becoming more and more convinced that this is an attempt at organized revolution.’

Armand wanted to go out and attack the rioters but his father restrained him.

‘There’ll be bloodshed if these people have their way,’ said the Comte. ‘The King and his ministers must deal with the matter.’

It was easier said than done, for that conflict which was to become La Guerre des Farines had started.

Riots broke out in several places simultaneously, which confirmed the fact that they were organized. Shop windows were broken, food stolen, and several people lost their lives.

My mother said I must stay with them until the country was quiet again but I was very worried as to what might be happening at Tourville and the thought of Charlot in danger terrified me. I wanted to leave at once but my father would not hear of it.

‘The trouble will not be so much in the country as in Paris or Versailles,’ he said. ‘I don’t think it is going to last long. Turgot and Maurepas will know how to deal with these agitators.’

I pictured the young King and Queen so newly come to the throne confronted by a mob of screaming people. Mobs were terrifying, mindless usually, beyond reasoning, bent on destruction and spurred on by an all-consuming envy … surely the most deadly of the seven deadly sins, for from it were born most of the others.

My father thought he should go to Versailles; my mother begged him not to; and when I heard that the people were marching on the palace waving pieces of mouldy bread, ferociously demanding that the price of food be drastically cut and threatening to burn down the palace if it were not, I was glad that he had listened to her.

There was nothing we could do. My father was in a state of gloom. He had seen this coming. He said: ‘What we must do is better the condition of the poor, that is true, but this is not the way. We have to seek out these people who are inciting honest workmen to revolt against their King and Parliament, against law and order. We have to stop them. We are late. We should have done it earlier. The King understands this, I believe, and is genuinely concerned with the plight of his people. But he has to reap the harvest sown by his grandfather. He is the one to blame. My God grant our young King the wit and strength and the courage to carry us through.’

I was not very well versed in politics. It had never occurred to me that we were so close to disaster, but that became clear enough during those days of the little war.

The King was courageous; he faced the mob. Some said that his action at Versailles, when the infuriated mob was at his gate, in sending out the Prince de Beauvais into the courtyard to promise to lower the price of bread saved the palace and ended the war. Had they burned the palace, as they had threatened to do, that would have been the signal for the peasants all over the country to rise against those of their countrymen who were better off than they were—starting with the nobility.

It was a miracle, and discoveries were made which proved my father’s theory. Many in the mob were not peasants; they were far from starving; and the bread which they carried with them when examined proved to have been treated with ashes and other substances to make it appear mouldy. One so-called starving peasant was wounded and taken to a hospital and found to be a servant in the royal household. Some of the people masquerading as women turned out to be men. As more and more evidence came to light it became obvious that there was organization behind the riots.

When this became startlingly clear the leaders, not wishing to be exposed, slipped away into obscurity and the rioters, with no one to urge them on, grew tired; and afraid that they might be caught and brought to trial, they dispersed. And quiet reigned throughout the land.

But it was a somewhat uneasy quiet.

The country settled down so quickly that it was decided that the King’s coronation should go ahead as planned. This was to take place on the eleventh of June and as both my father and mother were travelling to Rheims for the ceremony, I decided that I would return to Tourville and this I did.

It was about a month after I returned to Tourville when I suspected I might be pregnant. I was delighted and so was Charles when this proved to be the case, and although I resented the early discomforts of my state I was happy at the prospect of another child.

It took my mind off recent events. Charles was inclined to ignore them; he certainly did not take the same serious view that my father had done.

‘They should have brought out the military and dispersed them,’ was his comment. ‘If they did that it would soon put a stop to their nonsense.’

I thought of the man whom I had seen preaching in the market square and I did not believe that the military would deter him and his kind. I should have liked to hear more about the people who were trying to bring revolution into France but of course none knew who they were, for the success of their plans depended on their remaining anonymous. My father had said that he suspected people in high places. He even mentioned the name of the Prince de Conti. Why should they want to overthrow a regime into which they were so comfortably settled? My father believed that certain men had grievances against others and the prime factor in this discontent would be envy; and in a country like France where there were so many injustices and which had groaned for years under heavy taxation while hearing of the excesses of its rulers—that was enough to set the spark to light the fire.

However, as the weeks passed and everything seemed to have returned to normal, I forgot about La Guerre des Farines although now and then the memory of that man in the square would come back to me.

I was in my apartment one day. I remember it well—a hot August day when I was feeling listless and wishing the next few months would pass quickly, when there was a tap on my door.

I called for whoever was there to enter and a maid came in to say that there was a lady downstairs who was asking for me.

‘She has come a long way,’ said the girl. ‘And she has a child with her. She says she knows that you will see her.’

I went down at once and when I saw who was standing in the hall I gave a cry of joy and ran to her.

‘Lisette! You have come at last. I have tired so hard to find you. It is wonderful to see you.’

‘I knew you would say that,’ she answered, her lovely blue eyes glowing with affection. I had forgotten how pretty she was. Now she was rather soberly dressed, with her fair hair escaping from the pins which held it, so that it made little curling tendrils on her forehead and neck, and smiling half whimsically, half tenderly, and I could think of only one thing: my friend Lisette had come back to me.

‘I had to come,’ she said. ‘I had nowhere to go. I thought you would help me. I couldn’t face Tante Berthe.’

‘I’m glad you came. This is your little boy? I heard you had one.’

She laid her hand on the boy’s shoulder. He looked older than Charlot. ‘Louis Charles,’ she said, ‘take Madame’s hand as you know how.’

The boy took my hand and kissed it. I thought he was charming.

‘There is so much to tell you,’ said Lisette.

‘I long to hear it,’ I replied. ‘How have you travelled? Have you come far? Are you hungry?’

‘We came on horseback … Louis Charles riding with me. One of the men from my neighbour’s stables brought me here. I have left him in the stables. Perhaps they could give him a bed for the night. He will want to leave in the morning.’

‘Of course, of course,’ I said.

‘I have so much to tell you … but … could I wash first?’

‘Certainly, and eat too. I will tell them to prepare a room for you and your son.’

I called to the servants. Food must be prepared … a room and everything for her comfort; and the groom who had come with her must be lodged and fed.

I was delighted to have her back with me and could not wait to hear all her news as soon as she had washed and eaten and the boy was sleeping. I took her into one of the smaller rooms of the château where we could be quite alone while she told me her story.

Hers had not been a happy marriage. She had made a great mistake. When she and Tante Berthe had visited their relative she had been introduced to Farmer Dubois; he had fallen in love with her so completely that she had been quite flattered and in a mad moment had agreed to marry him.

‘It was a mistake,’ she said. ‘I could not be a farmer’s wife. It didn’t suit me at all. He adored me …but one gets a little tired of such devotion. I even played with the idea of running away. I thought I’d come to you and throw myself on your mercy.’

‘I wish you had,’ I said. ‘Oh, I have missed you so much, Lisette.’

‘But you are Madame de Tourville now. You have your beautiful château and your devoted husband.’

I lifted my shoulders and she studied me intently.

‘You are happy?’ she asked.

‘Oh yes … yes … quite happy.’

‘I am glad. I think the most awful thing a woman can suffer is an unhappy marriage.’

‘But at least your Monsieur Dubois adored you. Have you left him, Lisette?’

‘I am coming to that. He is dead. That is why I got away.’

‘Dead! Oh, Lisette.’

‘I know. He was a good man, but I was bored. I wanted to get away … though I didn’t want it to happen this way.’

‘Which way?’

‘Well, I was resigned. I had made my bed as they say, and I must lie on it. I tried to become a farmer’s wife. Lottie. I tried hard but I didn’t do it very well. Still, Jacques did not seem to mind and I had my little boy.’

‘He must have been a great consolation.’

‘He is indeed. I don’t think I should have had the courage to come here if it had not been for him.’

‘My dear Lisette, why? You know I should always be glad to see you.’

‘We had so many good times together, didn’t we? Remember the fortune-teller? That was where you first met your husband. I think he fell in love with you on sight. Poor Sophie, what a tragedy! But it made the way clear for you, didn’t it?’

‘I don’t see it like that. I often think of Sophie.’

‘She could have married him.’

‘I don’t think she would have been very happy if she had done so. I can only tell myself that it was her choice.’

‘At least you are happy.’

‘Yes, with the dearest little boy … And Lisette, I am to have another.’

‘Lottie! How wonderful. Is your husband pleased?’

‘Delighted—and so are my father and mother.’

‘That is good news. But I have to talk to you, Lottie. I have to talk very seriously … because I have nowhere to go.’

‘Nowhere to go! But you are here. You have come back. How can you say you have nowhere to go?’

‘Oh, you are good to me. I knew you would be. All the way here I’ve been telling myself that. But we are destitute … we have lost everything. It was those dreadful people. I don’t suppose here … in this peaceful place … you knew much about that dreadful war.’

‘The Guerre des Farines,’ I said. ‘Oh yes, I know very well how frightening that could be. I heard a man preaching … inciting the people to revolt. It was horrible.’

‘Horrible to be their victims … to be in the heart of it, Lottie.’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘I try to shut it out but you can’t shut out memories by shutting your eyes. You see, he was a farmer and he had grain and corn stored in his outhouses. They came …. They pillaged the storehouses … they dragged out the grain. I shall never forget that terrible night, Lottie. The darkness lighted by torches they carried. The shouting … the threats. Jacques ran out to see what they were doing. He tried to stop them. One of them knocked him down. I was at a window with Louis-Charles. I saw him go down and they all fell on him with sticks and rakes and all the implements they had brought with them as weapons. His own workers were doing that … and he had always been good to them. He was a good man, Jacques was. I know he bored me and I longed to escape from him … but he was a good man. They burned down the barns and all that good corn.’

‘They are criminals!’ I cried. ‘They are not interested in giving bread to the poor. They have destroyed the corn wherever they could. How can that help a bad harvest? My poor Lisette, what you have suffered!’

‘I ran away with Louis-Charles to a neighbour’s house, about half a mile away. I stood at one of their windows throughout that night and when dawn came I could still see the smoke rising from what had been my home. So you see, Lottie, I lost my husband and my home and now I have nothing … nothing at all. I was with my neighbour for a few weeks but I could not stay there. Then I thought of you. I thought, I will go to Lottie. I will throw myself on her mercy. I will ask her if she will give me a roof over my head. I could make myself useful with you. I could be a lady’s maid. I could do something … if only you will let me stay here with my little boy.’

There were tears in my eyes as I put my arms round her and held her against me.

‘Don’t say any more, Lisette. Of course you will stay here. I have tried to find you. Tante Berthe wouldn’t help me. But now you are here, there is nothing else to fear. You have come home.’

She was so grateful. She said: ‘I knew you would take me in … but there are others …. You have a new family here.’

‘They must welcome you as I do, Lisette.’

‘You say they must. Can you insist?’

‘I could. But it won’t be necessary. Charles is very easygoing. He asked about you once or twice. And my parents-in-law are very kind … kind and quiet. They never interfere. My father-in-law is an invalid and scarcely ever leaves his apartments now. I have a sister-in-law Amélie who will shortly be married. I think they will be ready to welcome you.’

‘And if they are not?’

‘Then they will see that they must. Don’t worry. It is wonderful that you have come back. We are going to be happy again. There is so much to talk about. It has been a little dull at times.’

‘What! With such a husband?’

‘He is away now and then. And I have missed you. It will be like the old days.’

‘Except that you have become a wife and I am a widow.’

‘And we have two dear little boys. I do hope they will be friends.’

Lisette and I were in the small chamber which led from the hall when Charles returned to the château. We were talking as we had been doing since her return, almost breathlessly chattering, stopping each other with reminders of something that had happened in the past, questioning each other about our lives since our parting.

Charles stood in the doorway. There were a few seconds of tense silence while he stared at Lisette. She looked at him a little defiantly. Poor Lisette, she is afraid of being turned away, I thought.

I cried: ‘What do you think has happened? Lisette has come.’

Lisette smiled hesitantly; ‘You don’t know me,’ she said.

‘But I do,’ he replied. ‘You were at the fortune-tellers.’

‘You remembered that. You rescued us both.’

‘Terrible things have happened to Lisette,’ I put in. ‘Her husband has been killed and her home burned down. It was the mob … the rioters who took his grain.’

‘How … shocking!’ said Charles.

He seemed to have recovered from his surprise and coming into the room sat down and, looking at Lisette, he said: ‘How did you get here?’

I answered for her. ‘On horseback. She came a long way with just one groom lent to her by her neighbours.’

Charles nodded. ‘The mob,’ he murmured. ‘The mindless mob. Those who have aroused them have a lot to answer for.’

‘Thank Heaven they have quietened down now,’ I said. I added: ‘Lisette has a little boy. He is charming. Such beautiful manners. I am sure Charlot will be pleased when he meets him.’

Charles repeated: ‘A little boy …’

‘He was worn out by the journey,’ I said. ‘He is fast asleep now.’

Charles talked with us for a while, then he said: ‘I will leave you two to continue. You will have much to tell each other. I will see you later.’ He laid his hand on my arm and pressed it and bowed to Lisette.

When we were alone Lisette burst out: ‘I don’t think he will want me to stay here.’

‘Why ever not?’

‘He was remembering that I was the housekeeper’s niece.’

‘Charles wouldn’t care about that.’

She was earnest for a moment and looked angry; her mouth looked square as though she could not control it. ‘Oh yes,’ she said quietly. ‘They care very much.’

‘No, Lisette, you are mistaken. I never thought of it for a moment. Nor did Sophie … in the old days.’

She was smiling now, all bitterness gone. ‘I always knew I had a good friend in you, Lottie,’ she said.

We went on talking, but she was changed, wary. Charles’s coming had alarmed her. I thought she was exhausted and should retire early so I took her to her room just as I would an honoured guest. I wanted to make her happy, make her forget all she had gone through. I wanted to see her merry as she had been in the old days.

I kissed her tenderly when I said goodnight.

‘Dear Lisette,’ I said. ‘I want you to understand that you have come home.’ Then I went to the small bed which had been put up temporarily in her room and in which her son was sleeping.

I gazed at him and said: ‘I am longing to see Charlot’s face when he meets Louis-Charles. That is for tomorrow.’

Then I went to the room I shared with Charles.

He was already there and in a thoughtful mood. He was seated in an armchair and as I entered he said: ‘Lottie, come here.’

I went to him and he seized me and pulled me down until I was sitting across his knees.

‘So,’ he said, ‘your partner in crime has turned up, it seems.’

‘Crime?’ I cried. ‘What crime?’

‘The crime of naughty little girls who disobey orders and sneak out of their homes away from their guardians to visit evil procuresses.’

‘Haven’t you forgotten that?’

‘Forgotten the first moment I saw my love?’

‘Charles,’ I said, ‘I believe you are annoyed.’

‘About what?’

‘Lisette’s being here.’

He shrugged his shoulders. ‘What will she do? Will you give her some post? I think she would make a good lady’s maid. She would know the latest fashions, and if not, where to discover them.’

‘I don’t want her to feel like a servant here, Charles.’

‘She is the niece of one.’

‘A very superior one. I don’t think Tante Berthe would relish being called a servant.’

‘Well, isn’t she the femme de charge at Aubigné?’

‘Yes, but she is in a very special position. She is Queen of the Nether Regions and there is strict protocol, I do assure you. People almost have to make appointments to see her. I think that Lisette was always conscious of being not one of us … like Sophie and myself, I mean … while at the same time she was educated with us.’

‘That was a mistake. Education gives people ideas.’

I laughed at him. ‘That is surely what it is meant to do.’

He was silent and I put my arms round his neck. ‘Tell me what is on your mind,’ I said.

‘I wonder,’ he replied. ‘I think she might be a bit of a schemer.’

‘A schemer! What do you mean?’

‘She seems to have bewitched you.’

‘Charles, that’s nonsense. She is my friend. She has been through a terrible ordeal. She has seen her husband murdered before her own eyes.’

‘Don’t get excited,’ he said. ‘Of course she will have to stay here until something is found for her.’

‘Found for her? What do you mean?’

‘Some post perhaps … someone’s lady’s maid, as you don’t want her in that capacity yourself.’

‘Why don’t you like her?’

‘I neither like nor dislike her.’

‘You talk as though you don’t want her here.’

‘My dear Lottie, we are not a hostel for waifs and strays.’

‘Have you some reason for disliking her?’

He drew away from me. ‘Why should I have?’ he said sharply.

‘You seem so … hostile.’

‘My dear Lottie, it matters not to me. I shall not have to see her, shall I? Do you propose to treat her like an honoured guest?’

‘Charles, are you telling me that you don’t want her in your house? Because if you don’t … ’

‘You will take off with her. I know. You will go back to Aubigné … the two of you adventuring together. Lottie, my lovely Lottie, mother of my son and the one who will be with us ere long, I want you to be happy. I want to show you in every way that I love you. Whatever I was before I met you, whatever I am now … Lottie, I am yours.’

‘What a charming speech!’ I kissed him lightly. ‘What on Earth provoked it?’

‘You, my beautiful and fruitful wife. You satisfy me completely.’

‘You are indeed a devoted husband tonight. And what has all this to do with Lisette?’

‘It is quite apart. But what I was trying to say about her was this: Is it wise to have her here?’

‘I can’t see why not, and I want her to feel happy here. I am going to insist that she stays and is made welcome by everybody in this house.’

He drew me towards him and kissed my neck.

‘So be it,’ he said. ‘Madame has spoken.’

I could not sleep that night. Nor, I was sure, could Charles. He was very tender and more than once assured me that he loved me. I think he was trying to make up for his rather cold reception of Lisette, of whom he knew I was very fond. We lay side by side, hands entwined, but silent.

When I awoke he was gone. It was quite early and my first thought was for Lisette. I was happy that she had come back, although in such sad circumstances, and I was flattered that in her need she had thought of me first. Then I wondered about the groom who had come with her and it occurred to me that he might like to stay for a day before undertaking the long journey back.

As soon as I was dressed I went down to the stables. As I approached I saw a man just about to go in. I saw the back of him only but it was enough to show me that he was not one of our men.

I called out: ‘Just a moment … ’

He disappeared into the stables and had apparently not heard me. I guessed he was Lisette’s groom and about to saddle his horse and be off. I wanted him to be given some food to take with him and was going to suggest he went to the kitchens to get it.

I glanced inside the stables but I could not see him anywhere, and just at that moment I heard someone walking across the yard. It was the chief groom, Leroux. I went to meet him.

‘Good morning, Leroux,’ I said. ‘Did you look after the groom who escorted the lady who came yesterday?’

‘Oh yes, Madame,’ was the answer. ‘He had a good bed for the night and his supper.’

‘I believe he plans to go today. I saw him go into the stables but when I looked in I couldn’t see him. I thought he might like something to take with him to eat on the journey … some meat pie or something. And also perhaps he would like to rest here a day before starting out. He has a long way to go.’

‘He seemed set on going early, Madame.’

‘I dare say he has his reasons. But I do think we ought to give him some food to take with him. He must be somewhere in the stables. I saw him go in.’

‘I’ll find him, Madame, and tell him what you say.’

Just at that moment we heard the clatter of hoofs and a rider came out of the stables.

‘Ho there!’ called Leroux.

But the rider took no notice and went on.

‘He didn’t see us,’ said Leroux.

‘He didn’t appear to hear you call to him either.’

‘Hard of hearing perhaps, Madame.’

‘He certainly behaved rather oddly.’

‘Well, he’s on his way now, Madame. Too late to stop him and offer him anything.’

‘I’m surprised he didn’t see us here and make some acknowledgement.’

Leroux scratched his head and walked into the stables. I went straight up to Lisette’s rooms. She was still in bed, looking very pretty with her fair curls tousled and the sleep in her eyes.

‘You were very tired,’ I said.

‘Exhausted,’ she answered. ‘Oh, I can’t tell you how good it is to be here … in a place like this … with you … ’

‘You have had a terrible time.’

‘Poor Jacques! I can’t forget the sight of him … falling down with all those dreadful people attacking him. And yet … I might still be there … ’

‘You’ve got to forget that,’ I said. ‘It will do you no good to go on remembering. By the way, that’s rather an odd groom you brought with you. I spoke to him and he didn’t answer. Is he deaf?’

She hesitated for a moment and then said: ‘Yes … I think he is, but he won’t admit it.’

‘I called to him and he didn’t answer. I was sure he went into the stables and when I looked in I couldn’t see him.’

‘Did you go right in?’

‘Oh no … ’

‘I expect he was bending down examining his horse’s shoe or something. He thinks a lot of his horses. And he has gone, has he?’

‘Yes. He didn’t look round when he came out of the stables. Leroux called to him but he just rode straight on.’

‘He was in a hurry to get back. They wanted him to return as soon as possible. It was good of them to let him come with me when they couldn’t really spare him.’

I was thinking of the man and something suddenly struck me.

‘Do you know,’ I said, ‘I think I’ve seen him somewhere before.’

‘Where could you have seen him?’

‘I don’t know. It’s just a hazy sort of idea.’

‘We all have doubles somewhere on earth, they say. I’d love to meet mine, wouldn’t you?’

She was laughing, looking so much like the girl I had known and been fond of.

I said with heartfelt fervour: ‘Oh, Lisette, I am so glad you have come here.’

It was a great joy to have Lisette with me. She changed my days. She herself dispersed any awkwardness which might have arisen through her presence in the house by installing herself as my lady’s maid.

‘A lady in your position should certainly have one,’ she said, ‘and who could perform those necessary tasks better than I.’

She herself refused to take meals with us, which was what I had wanted although I had guessed there might be protests from Charles about this. I knew that he did not greatly like the idea of Lisette’s being treated as a member of the family, which was what I really wanted; I knew, too, that Lisette was very conscious of her position as she always had been at Aubigné and that it had rankled with her that she was not on the same footing as Sophie and I had been. I wanted to treat her as one of us but she would not have it.

She and Louis-Charles had their meals in a small room adjoining her apartment and she would go to the kitchens and take it up with her so that none of the servants waited on her.

I said this was a lot of nonsense at first, but I did realize that even in an easy-going household like that of the Tourvilles there would have been resentments and attitudes perhaps among some of the higher servants.

Lisette was tactful; she was reserved with members of the family and it was only when she and I were alone together that she became her old vivacious self.

It was an ideal arrangement for Louis-Charles, who had no inhibitions such as those which plagued his mother, and he shared Charlot’s nursery, being an excellent companion for him, and the two boys played and fought happily together.

There was no objection from my parents-in-law. Charles’s father spent most of his time in his apartments and his mother was with him a good deal; she had always been very affable to me and although they seemed rather colourless, I was grateful to be left to my own devices and to be given a free hand in the household. Amélie was immediately attracted to Lisette, who did her hair for her in such a manner as delighted her, and they spent a great deal of time discussing the trousseau together. With Amélie’s coming wedding the main concern of the household, Lisette’s arrival passed off without too much attention being called to it and Lisette settled in comfortably and easily. I told her she looked like a pretty kitten when she lay in her bed stretching herself in a rather feline way, which was a habit of hers.

‘Purring away now that I have a comfortable home and am sure of my dish of cream every day,’ she said, laughing at me.

She changed my life completely. The tedious days of pregnancy had become full of laughter. We talked of the past most of the time and the only occasions when I was sad were when I remembered Sophie.

There was a great deal of talk at that time about the American colonists who were in conflict with the English government over taxes which were, some said, being unfairly imposed. Charles said it was clear that there would soon be war between England and her colonists if the English did not come to their senses.

He took a delight in denigrating the English, which I knew was partly in fun, but I refused to take part in these discussions. In any case my thoughts were with my child who would soon be making an appearance.

The winter was passing and we were in February when my confinement began.

Lisette was constantly with me. She had no particular flair for nursing but her high spirits did me more good than anything.

And in due course my child was born. I was delighted this time to have a girl and Charles was overjoyed. We discussed her name and finally decided that she should be called Claudine.