A Child In Need

CHAPTER SIX

THIS wasn’t just a kiss.

This was a kiss!

It wasn’t meant to be a kiss of friendship, a soft kiss of farewell, or even a kiss of the start of a love affair. This was passion meant for an audience. Nick had sized up three watching pairs of eyes and he knew what they most wanted-so he gave it to them in full.

His sports car was open to the weather and to their audience. The seats were wide and soft, and there was a good eighteen inches between driver and passenger. No more. Nick took a deep breath, turned to the lady beside him, put his hands on her shoulders-and kissed.

She leaned back with shock-and he leaned back with her, so they fell together onto the soft leather. She gave a squeak of astonishment. Their mouths met fleetingly as they disappeared underneath the dashboard-disappearing completely from view.

Then Nick lifted his face from hers momentarily-he’d had to stifle her squeak somehow, and kissing her properly was the only way to do it. ‘Put your feet up high,’ Nick whispered urgently before she could squeak again. ‘A bit of stocking above the dash for the audience. Come on, Shanni, let’s give them their money’s worth.’

For a moment he didn’t think she’d respond. Her body was rigid in his hold-shocked into immobility. Not for long, though. This was one smart lady, and her sense of humour was always bubbling just below the surface.

As somehow he’d known it would be, he thought. It was as if he knew her without knowing her, as if something in his mind read hers and understood. As he’d known it would-or he’d hoped.

And it happened. He felt laughter ripple though her body in a lovely long chuckle, and her arms came around him and held him fast. She leaped right into the act with a vengeance.

‘Oh, Nick,’ she murmured at full passion, her voice ringing out into the still, night air, carrying right up to the verandah and into the open window beyond. ‘Nick…darling…’

‘Shanni…’ His mouth was inches from hers-once under the dash he could withdraw just a little. Laughter was bubbling inside him as well. ‘A wiggle, I think,’ he whispered urgently. ‘A kick?’

And she did. With delight he felt her body shift under his. Her legs raised above dashboard height-she was wearing a flowing skirt, for heaven’s sake, and her legs were silk-stockinged-and he felt her wiggle like crazy. Her feet waved back and forth like flags, as if she was riding a bicycle upside down. Inside the house, the siblings would be pop-eyed.

‘Oh, Nick…’ she groaned out loud. ‘Nick, Nick…kiss me, kiss me…’

He choked with admiration and laughter, and he looked down into her laughing eyes.

And that was a mistake.

They were so lovely…

He was meant to be kissing the girl for a joke! She was laughing up at him, her stockinged feet were wiggling in the air and her eyes were alight with merriment. She was holding him, his body was pressed against hers and her breasts were moulding into his. Her laughing mouth was inches from his and she was so lovely…

And suddenly her mouth wasn’t inches from his. It was right under his, and his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her-but he was kissing her as if there really was passion between them. As if this was a man making love to the most beautiful woman in the world-instead of an irrepressibly ridiculous small-town kindergarten teacher who wanted to tease her brothers and sister.

And Shanni had frozen again-but she froze only for one moment.

She could feel it too, he thought dazedly. Whatever was between them was shared, and it was something that was more powerful than either of them. This like-minded stuff…it was drawing them closer and closer, so her lovely laughing eyes merged with the twinkling of the stars and the feel of her body with his.

And night and girl and desire were all merging into one, and Nick was kissing her as if he’d never let her leave him-as long as they both should live.

‘Shanni!’

It couldn’t last, of course. How could it not end? Not with such an audience. The front door banged wide and a male voice shouted down to them from the verandah. ‘Shanni, is that you?’

She didn’t push away. Not instantly. For one tiny second they stayed together, and that fraction of an instant told Nick that Shanni was as reluctant to finish the kiss as he was.

But needs must. She pushed him back, and her eyes searched his in the dim light. And then she smiled, and if there was a trace of uncertainty in her smile it was replaced fast by laughter.

‘Oh, Nick…what have you done? My reputation, for-sooth…’

‘What have I done? What have you done?’ Somehow he managed laughter in return. ‘Wicked Witch of the West and Scarlet Woman to boot.’

She grinned, hauling herself up to sit decorously again, smoothing her skirt over her knees as both their heads reappeared above the dashboard for the observers to see.

‘You’re the seducer here,’ she said primly. ‘I can see the headlines now. “Magistrate Seduces Innocent Kindergarten Teacher in Sports Car.” You’ll be tarred and feathered and run out of town.’

‘I could be so lucky!’

She heard it then-the faint trace of bitterness in his voice. So he really did want to leave, she thought, and he wanted it badly. But…she couldn’t focus on Nick any longer. Her father was out on the verandah, staring down at the couple in the car, and her mother was following close behind.

‘Hi,’ she managed, smiling up at her father. ‘It’s me, Dad. Nick gave me a ride home.’

‘So I see.’ The farmer’s voice said he had a shotgun right behind him and he’d use it if necessary. To Nick’s amazement, Shanni didn’t blush or try to defend herself. She chuckled again and swung herself out of the car.

‘Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Dad. We had an audience.’ She gestured to the curtain, where three faces had now appeared full-on. Her three youngest siblings. ‘Nick thought we ought to give them a show for their money.’

‘Oh…’ Guy McDonald looked sideways at his three youngest children, worry fading as he saw what had happened. And he grinned. So this was where Shanni got her sense of humour. ‘I see. So you shocked them to the core. Well done. You want to come in for coffee, young fella?’

‘I…no. I need to get back.’ Unlike Shanni, Nick wasn’t in control at all. Something had happened during that kiss, and he wasn’t at all sure he knew what it was. He needed to get back to town and sort out what he was feeling. Or…sort out that he was feeling nothing!

Which he must be.

‘Nick’s coming with us on Sunday, Dad,’ Shanni said. She left the car, climbed the verandah steps, then stood between her parents and smiled back down at him. ‘To Grandpa’s birthday picnic. We’re bringing Harry.’

‘That’s nice, dear,’ her mother said placidly.

Did nothing shock these people?

No. It couldn’t. Nick looked up at them. Guy McDonald’s arm was around his daughter’s shoulders, her mother was standing beside her with affection written clearly on her face, and the three young faces were still bobbing up and down at the window and grinning like three clowns-and Nick suddenly knew what it was he was seeing. This family loved their Shanni, and they loved her absolutely. Anything she chose to do would be okay by them.

The knowledge-the sensation-was suddenly almost claustrophobic. He’d never known a love like this. Never! And here she was, surrounded. Shanni was like an alien creature, he thought. She was totally apart from the world he lived in.

‘I’ll see you Sunday, then,’ he said abruptly, and he flicked on the engine and spun the car around too fast in the driveway. A half-grown collie pup, heading down from the verandah to investigate, yelped and scurried for cover and Nick had to brake to avoid hitting him. Which sort of spoiled his dignified exit.

He made his exit anyway. He didn’t look back-but Shanni and her parents stood on the verandah and watched him drive away, and he could feel their eyes follow him all the way into town.

‘He’s not your sort, is he dear?’ Shanni’s mother had no sooner closed the kitchen door and put the kettle on than she was into probe mode. Nick had been right. Anything Shanni chose to do was okay with her parents, but that didn’t mean they didn’t enquire.

‘It was a joke, Mum,’ Shanni said mildly, and her mother flashed her a look that said she wasn’t stupid.

‘Your John’s been telling the town you’ve thrown him over for the magistrate.’

‘John’s a chauvinist twit-and he’s not my John.’

‘He’s a very worthy person,’ her mother said sternly. Then a matching twinkle to her daughter’s flashed into her older eyes. ‘But you’re right. He lacks a sense of humour, poor John. Your father and I are very relieved that you’ve finally seen it. It’s only…’

‘You think I’m jumping from the frying pan into the fire?’

‘I would never have called John a frying pan.’ Her mother chuckled and Shanni had to smile. ‘But maybe…’

‘Maybe nothing.’ Shanni took a deep breath. ‘I’m a big girl now, Mum, and I’m not looking to get involved with a magistrate. Especially one who’s carrying the scars Nick is. But Harry thinks Nick is great and if I can get a relationship going between them… That baby needs someone who cares.’

‘You care.’

‘Harry needs a male.’

‘He needs a daddy-and where there’s a daddy there’s usually a mother, too.’

‘Oh, for heaven’s sake…’ Shanni glowered, half-laughing, half-indignant. ‘Mum, I am not interested in Nick Daniels. Got it?’

‘Yes, dear,’ her mother said, and Shanni knew she didn’t believe a word of it.

And maybe…maybe she didn’t either.

And Nick?

Nick drove home feeling more claustrophobic than he’d felt in his life before. All he wanted to do was to turn his car to head for the city and never come back.

Or was it? Wasn’t it that he wanted to turn the car and return to Shanni?

No! He wanted to leave this town!

Which was really stupid. His career plans said he had to stick this place out for two years, and so far he’d done less than a week. Great! And he’d be welcomed back to the city with open arms-he didn’t think!

If he appeared back in chambers next Monday morning they’d assume he’d failed. His long-term plan was high-court judge, and this was step one. He had to take it.

He didn’t want to stay. He didn’t want this involvement! Not with the child-or the girl.

He could concentrate on being a fine barrister, he thought desperately, and there was a possibility he could move sideways to the high court…

Ha! He’d looked at that option and he knew it depended hugely on luck. What he was doing now was the most certain way to get where he wanted. Put in the hard work, Abe had told him, and Abe was right.

Which meant putting up with country life-putting up with the gossip and the people-and staying uninvolved. But, for heaven’s sake, he’d only been here for a few days and already he was involved up to his neck. He should ring Shanni and tell her their Sunday date was off.

‘I do not want to go on a family picnic with a baby and a gorgeous girl and her grandma and grandpa and her brothers and sisters…’

Yes, he did. Sort of…

He wanted to be there, he knew, but he wanted to walk away at the end, heart-whole and fancy-free.

But he was starting to think there was no way that could happen, and the thought scared him witless.

Friday and Saturday were endless. Even the witnesses and defendants in court seemed to know what was happening in his life and to be summing him up.

‘They think you’re turning the place upside down,’ Mary told him at the break of a long and boring case deciding whether a farmer’s cows were damaging an access road. ‘You arrive, we’ve had a hostage drama which will keep the district talking for years, the kindergarten teacher has broken off with her intended…’

‘He wasn’t her intended.’

‘John sure intended, even if Shanni didn’t. And now…the kids have spread it all over town that their sister’s in love with you.’

They’d asked for that with their kissing stunt in the car, Nick thought wryly, and grimaced.

‘I’m darned if I can see why everyone thinks it’s their business.’

‘This is Bay Beach,’ Mary said simply. ‘Everything’s everyone’s business. Speaking of which…’

‘Don’t…’

But she was unstoppable. ‘I meant to tell you before this case started… Bill Nuggins could quite easily drive his cows to the dairy across his back paddock instead of using the road. He’s using the road because the folk bought the place next door as a weekend home and he wanted to buy it himself. So now he likes the idea of them having to drive through cow dung.’

‘Gee, thanks.’ This was useful information but it wasn’t up to his clerk of court to give it to him.

‘Think nothing of it,’ she said blandly. ‘They’re nice people and he’s giving them a hard time so I thought you should know. I’m off after this, so I’ll see you Sunday at the picnic. Oh, and you’d best make your mind up about Shanni. She’s not one to tread water very long.’

What did she mean by that?

Nick didn’t know, and he couldn’t allow himself to care.

But he did care, and not just about Shanni. He finished work-advising the farmer to re-route his cows-took himself for a solitary walk on the beach and found his feet taking him to Harry’s home. It was bedtime, and Wendy greeted him as if she’d been expecting him.

‘He’s been waiting for you.’

‘I didn’t say I’d come.’

‘He knew you would.’

Nick figured he’d have to ignore that. Its implications were enormous. ‘How did the assessment go today?’

‘We’re giving him another two weeks,’ she said. ‘If he doesn’t settle by then…’ She left the words unspoken but Nick knew exactly what she was saying. If Nick hadn’t pulled off a miracle…

He shouldn’t be here!

But, despite his reservations, he sat by the little boy’s bed and read him a story about a Very Dirty Dog until Harry’s eyes closed in weariness and he slipped into sleep. There was nothing else to do. And Harry needed him…

‘He’s so little and his body’s still healing,’ Wendy told him as he emerged, surprised by how ready for sleep Harry had been. ‘He needs an afternoon sleep but he won’t let himself relax. He’s exhausted but he fights sleep every inch of the way.’

Why did that sound familiar? If he closed his eyes, then things could happen. Bad things. Nick remembered the sensation all too clearly. The world wasn’t a safe place to sleep in…

‘Shanni’s taking him clothes-shopping tomorrow morning,’ Wendy told him, closing the door on the sleeping child. She was carrying a little girl on her hip and there were two older boys making hot chocolate in the kitchen. Much as Wendy might care for Harry, there were limits to the personal attention he could get here, and Shanni must know it. ‘She’s picking him up at ten. Would you like to go with them?’

‘No.’ Nick shook his head. ‘I’m busy.’

But the next day it took an iron will to keep him reading legal briefs in his apartment when he knew they’d be shopping. He had to read the briefs-if he didn’t keep up with the legal world he’d turn into a country bumpkin-but Shanni and Harry were out choosing clothes without him and for some reason the thought was deeply disturbing.

This was crazy! He was going nuts.

One week down, he thought desperately. One hundred and three to go…

Beach day. Grandpa’s birthday.

Nick woke at six and spent an hour composing urgent messages telling Shanni why he had to go to the city right now. Then he went for a jog on the beach, thought of a few more messages, showered, composed a few more…

Combed his hair flat. City-lawyer style.

Picked up the phone. Put down the phone.

Headed back to the shower, washed his hair again. Dressed. Combed his hair roughly and allowed his curls to dry any which way.

Went to collect Shanni.

‘I was expecting you to cry off.’

‘Were you?’ He cast her a sideways glance. Shanni had been waiting on the verandah as he’d driven into the farmyard and she looked absolutely, breathtakingly lovely. She was simply dressed in a pink halter-neck top, the briefest of brief pink shorts and simple sandals. Her hair was sort of tousled and bunched on top. Her look was a million miles from that of any woman he’d dated in the city-and she looked a million dollars.

She wasn’t his style. No!

‘I was expecting myself to cry off,’ he admitted. ‘This isn’t my scene.’

She grinned, teasing. ‘Chicken.’

‘I’d rather be a chicken than a dead hen.’ He said it flippantly enough, staring at the road ahead, but she wasn’t fooled for a minute. She looked at him for a long moment as he steered back onto the highway, and the smile she gave him became sympathetic.

‘Hey, we’re not that scary,’ she said softly. ‘Don’t judges get to face murderers, gang lords and drug barons? What’s a family picnic compared to that?’

What indeed? So there was no reason at all why his insides were telling him this was much, much scarier.

Harry was waiting, too, standing stolidly on the front porch with Wendy, with a look on his face that said he hadn’t expected them to arrive at all. He didn’t smile when he saw them, but the look of resignation lightened just a little, and when Wendy walked him to the car he didn’t drag behind. He looked straight ahead, staring directly and unwaveringly at Nick-as if he was still expecting him to drive off fast.

Then he paused and looked at Nick’s car-seeing it for the first time. The lightness faded, fear flooding back.

‘I don’t want to go…’ he whispered.

‘Harry doesn’t like cars,’ Wendy said, allowing him no time for protests but scooping him up and lifting him into Nick’s minuscule back seat. ‘But sometimes it’s the only way to get where you want to go. Right Nick?’

‘Right.’ Nick turned and gave Harry a reassuring grin. There were two of them in this together, then. Two males who were both scared to death. And there was nothing for it but to go forward. Concentrate on something else but the fear…

‘Hey, I like your shirt,’ he told Harry, starting the engine and giving Shanni a sideways glance that begged for help.

He didn’t need it. His comment was, apparently, exactly the right thing to say.

‘Mmm.’ Harry put his chin deep down on his chest and tried not to look pleased.

‘We bought it yesterday,’ Shanni told him. ‘Harry and I went shopping for clothes, didn’t we, Harry? It’s a swimming T-shirt.’

‘So I see.’ The little boy’s shirt had fish and sharks and octopuses all over it. Nick approved absolutely. ‘It’s a fine choice for today.’

‘Your hair looks funny,’ Harry said.

‘Yeah.’ It did too-and it felt funny. Nick put his fingers up and raked his curls self-consciously. He felt exposed like this. Weird.

‘But it’s a fine choice for today, too,’ Shanni said solidly, and Nick looked across at her-and grinned. Maybe it didn’t feel so bad after all.

‘Nick’s shirt’s a bit boring, though,’ she told Harry. ‘Don’t you think?’

‘Hey…’

‘I’m wearing pink spots and you’re wearing fish,’ she went on, confining her conversation to the child in the back. ‘You’d think Nick could have found a shirt to wear that wasn’t white.’

‘It’s short-sleeved,’ Nick said, protesting. ‘I’m not wearing a tie. It’s fine.’

‘It’s white. Do magistrates have to wear white?’

‘Yes. Always.’ In truth, he owned nothing else.

‘I’ll bet they don’t,’ Shanni said thoughtfully. ‘What do you reckon, Harry? I think Nick would look better in pink spots. Do you?’

Silence.

Then, to Nick’s absolute astonishment, Harry chuckled.

At first he thought he’d imagined it. Shanni, too, looked as if she’d been struck by lightning as the child’s rich chuckle slowly formed and echoed around them.

They looked at each other. Nick and Shanni… Co-conspirators in lighting this child’s life.

And then, slowly, Shanni’s face broke into a smile that said all her Christmases had come at once-and then some.

‘Pink,’ she said, and if her voice was choked with emotion, then who could blame her. ‘I’m buying our Nick a pink-spotted shirt first thing tomorrow morning, and no one in the whole world is going to stop me.’

And, after that, there was nothing to do but enjoy the day and accept that things were out of his control.

Shanni’s extended family was enormous, with assorted cousins, aunts, nieces and nephews, boyfriends and hangers-on like himself, all equally welcomed into the chaos. There were kids and dogs and food and more food. There was beach cricket, swimming, sandcastles… Nick was drawn into the fray the minute he arrived.

He’d worn his swimming shorts under his clothes; his trousers and shirt were hauled from him by Rob the moment he arrived, half a gallon of sun lotion was slapped over him, Harry’s cast was tied in an enormous plastic bag to keep it clean, and he and Harry were declared official cricket umpires.

‘Magistrate work,’ Rob decreed, and Shanni chuckled and disappeared toward the water.

‘That’s right. Make him useful.’

There was part of Nick that wanted to follow Shanni-but she didn’t look back.

Then they were made sandcastle judges.

‘Biggest is not best, either,’ Shanni told him in passing as she headed to prepare the picnic. It was almost as if she was avoiding him.

And it kept happening.

After lunch Harry was scooped up and placed on a floating air-bed, the towrope was put in Nick’s hand and he was sent out to sea with his passenger. And Shanni, again, was elsewhere. The family assumed Nick was here with Harry-not with Shanni. Nick found the sensation odd. Not bad but…odd.

He was accustomed to women taking notice of him-to women sticking as close as Harry-but Shanni wasn’t sticking at all. To Shanni he seemed just one of the mob. She was taking Mary’s kids out to sea on their own air-beds, she was swimming races, diving, surfacing for air, laughing with delight whether she won or lost, and then setting up the next race.

Then she swooped in and made her own sandcastle-when he and Harry were batting at cricket, with Nick guiding the little boy’s hands.

Anything he was doing, she wasn’t.

It finally started to rile him. By mid-afternoon he was sure it wasn’t happening by accident. He could watch her all he wanted, but only from a distance. And she was so lovely…

‘You’ll have to move fast,’ Mary said into his ear, and he jumped. He’d been a million miles away. Harry was settled on a towel by his side, three-quarters asleep and leaning heavily against him in sleepy contentment. They were sated with sun, sand and picnic, and Nick was finding it as hard as Harry to focus.

But while Harry was finding it hard to focus on anything, Nick was simply finding it hard to focus on anything that wasn’t Shanni.

‘I…what do you mean?’ For some reason it was hard to get his voice working.

‘Just what I said.’ Mary plonked herself down on a towel and looked affectionately over at her sister. ‘There’s never much of a gap between Shanni’s men.’

‘I don’t know what business…’

‘There never is for any of the McDonald girls,’ Mary said smugly, ignoring his interruption and looking across at her husband with affection. ‘They’re always snapped up, by the most gorgeous of men. My Mike included.’

‘Mary…’

‘Take me, for instance,’ she said placidly. ‘I was married at nineteen and I could have been married a whole heap earlier if I hadn’t been very, very fussy.’ She motioned across to where Louise and her young man were building a sandcastle together. ‘I’m betting this little sister won’t be far behind-she and Alastair can’t keep their eyes off each other-and Hatty already has boyfriends even though she’s only fifteen. It’s only Shanni who’s slow on the uptake, and that’s because she can’t choose.’

‘I don’t…’

‘Eleven proposals,’ Mary said sagely, shaking her head at the wonder of it. ‘And that’s just the serious ones. It’s now starting all over again. Mum tells me, since the town found out John’s a thing of the past, the phone’s been running hot.’

‘Your sister’s very attractive,’ Nick said stiffly, and Mary chuckled.

‘She is and all.’

‘I don’t…’ he started, but she shook her head.

‘You do, so why not admit it?’ she said, rising and shaking the sand from her towel. ‘Ugh. I’m coated.’ And then she fixed Nick with a stern look. ‘But, whatever you do, do it fast. Because, as I said, there’s a queue.’

She would not go near him.

Shanni was aware of the eyes of her family on her-what had started out as a joke had them all so interested it was almost sickening. They were agog-and she wasn’t interested!

She wasn’t!

If only Nick wasn’t so…wasn’t so…

Different.

And that difference was impossible to define. In so many ways he was the same as other men she’d gone out with. He had a great grin-yes, it was wonderful. But other men had great grins. He was strong-he must have swum since toddlerhood-his lean figure had towed Harry effortlessly on his floating mat and he’d won every race with her various male cousins. But…other men were strong.

And tender… He was amazingly tender. The way he had lifted Harry, the way he had put sun lotion on the little boy and wiggled patterns down the child’s back, making him squeal in delight. The way he’d said something great about every kid’s sandcastle…

Other men were great with kids.

It was more than that. It was the way he just was. The way he was just…Nick.

She saw so much that she knew he didn’t want anyone to see: the way he looked at Harry, as if he couldn’t believe he was committing himself, the way he looked around at her family, as if he was hungering for something he’d never had, and yet wanted so badly, the way he looked at her…

The way she seemed to know what was right there in his heart.

It scared her rigid. And…all her family were watching.

She wasn’t interested. She wasn’t!

She avoided him like the plague.

It was almost dusk as they drove home. They’d eaten tea on the beach-Shanni’s grandpa had ordered pizzas, and one of the enduring images Nick would take home from this day was the pizza delivery boy hiking over sand-hills with a dozen or more boxes balanced precariously before him.

Then Shanni’s mum had produced a birthday cake, grandpa had blown out seventy candles, the birthday song had been bellowed by the entire family and the day had been declared officially over.

And it had left Nick feeling…empty? As if he’d been allowed to glimpse something that could never be his.

He’d half expected to go home alone with Harry, but as he’d put the little boy into the car-he was already fast asleep-Shanni had emerged from the crowd of her family and tossed her bag in beside him.

He was therefore deemed her chauffeur. According to Mary, he should feel honoured.

He didn’t. He just felt…more empty. As if he was being allowed more insight into what could never be his.

‘Cat got your tongue?’ She smiled at him as he started the engine. Her hair was escaping every which way from her crazy topknot, she was sand-coated, her nose was pink-tipped from too much sun-and he had an almost overwhelming urge to stop the car and kiss her.

He did no such thing. The emptiness was almost tangible. But emptiness was his life. It was what he was accustomed to, and he didn’t know how the heck to cope with anything else.

So he steered the car toward the town and he clenched his hands on the steering wheel and he said nothing.

For a few minutes she watched him in matching silence. ‘Nick, what’s wrong?’ she asked at last, and the teasing tone had become serious.

‘Nothing.’

‘When I say that to my kindergarten students and they say, “nothing,” it usually means they’ve just made a puddle.’

He grinned at that. ‘Miss McDonald, I can assure you that I haven’t made a puddle.’

‘I’m very glad to hear it.’ She looked at him for a long moment, questioning, and then gave a slight shrug and turned to look over her shoulder at the sleeping Harry. ‘He’s had a wonderful day,’ she said softly.

‘Yes,’

‘And you, Nick? You’ve had a good time?’

‘I…yes.’

‘I’m glad,’ she said warmly, probing no deeper. ‘My family think you’re great.’

‘Because I’m not John?’

‘There is that.’ She chuckled. ‘Oh, dear. I was a twit for thinking I could marry him.’

‘There’ll be other fish in the sea.’

‘I guess…’ Her voice faded. ‘Nick…’

‘Mmm?’

She looked across at him as if she was about to ask something, thought better of it and pressed her lips together. More silence. Then the town boundary came into view, and it was say something now or the opportunity would be over.

‘Will you see Harry again?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know,’ he said stiffly. ‘Not for a while.’

‘Because you’re busy,’ she agreed cordially. ‘I guess.’

‘I need to go to Melbourne next weekend.’

‘To change suits and ties? I hoped you’d kicked the habit.’

He grinned at that. ‘Yes, okay. I’ve kicked the habit. But I do have another life.’

‘You have a girlfriend in town?’

‘No.’

‘I see.’ She didn’t see at all. She stared ahead as the car turned into the street leading to the children’s home. Time was running out. It was now or never…

‘Nick, Harry’s dad took him to Melbourne every weekend,’ she said, her voice suddenly urgent. ‘He worked here in the timber mill, but every Friday night he and Harry headed for the city. Harry’s grandmother lived there.’

‘He has a grandmother?’

‘She died just before Peter did. But Harry still remembers going to the city.’

‘Are you suggesting,’ Nick said slowly, thinking this through, ‘that I take Harry to Melbourne?’

‘I don’t see why not. I think he’d love it.’

‘I can’t cope with a baby on my own.’

She thought about that and shook her head. ‘Of course you can.’ She was all decisive now, right back into the bossy mode Nick was starting to know and, he had to admit, enjoy. ‘You’re a clever, competent man, Nick Daniels, and Harry is one very small boy. You can cope if you want.’

‘Then I don’t want,’ he said bluntly. Harry in his favourite restaurants or with his sophisticated friends? No and no and no.

But now Shanni was looking at him as if he’d personally betrayed her.

He couldn’t let it matter, he told himself desperately. He couldn’t let her drag him into this mess so that he was personally involved.

But yet… As he stopped the car and went to lift the sleeping Harry from the back seat, he was aware of a lurch of pain in his gut.

Harry was so small. His cast looked so heavy and there were shadows of tiredness on his pale little face. He stirred in sleep, his eyes fluttered open and he smiled, just ever so faintly, as he saw who was carrying him. Then his eyes fell closed again and he relaxed absolutely in Nick’s arms.

Nick might not want to get personally involved-but he was already.

He had to walk away.

And with Harry safely left in Wendy’s charge-the little boy hadn’t stirred as they washed him and popped him into bed-he had to take Shanni home. Another five minutes in the car. Get this over with fast, he told himself harshly. Move on.

But as the car pulled into the farmyard he was aware of a stab of absolute longing-to somehow prolong the moment.

‘I…they tell me it’s the mayoral ball on Friday week,’ he told her, and he was speaking too fast. Which confused him totally. For heaven’s sake, he didn’t mess up invitations. Where was the smooth Nick Daniels now? ‘I gather I’m expected to attend. I don’t suppose you’d like to go with me?’

She stared at him for a long minute, considering.

‘Isn’t that a bit dangerous?’ she said at last, her teasing voice back. ‘You’d be expected to dance with me.’

‘Dancing’s okay.’

‘Just not emotion.’

‘I guess.’

She sighed and shook her head, teasing fading. ‘Nope. This is never going to work. You won’t even let a tiny little boy touch your life.’

‘Hey, I’m not asking for emotional entanglement here,’ he said, startled. ‘Just a date.’

‘I know you’re not asking for emotional entanglement.’ She sounded angry, and he stared.

‘What’s wrong? You’re upset that I won’t take Harry to Melbourne next weekend?’

She tilted her chin. ‘Yes,’ she said flatly. ‘I am. You have the chance to do so much good, Nick Daniels, and you daren’t do it because of your precious independence. You won’t take a risk-and Harry suffers because of it.’

‘So if I said I’d take Harry to Melbourne then you’d come to the ball with me?’

It was the wrong thing to say and he knew it the moment the words were uttered. She drew in her breath in a sharp, angry hiss and she drew away from him, her anger tangible in the still night air.

She was struggling for words-struggling to say anything. And, in the end, all she could manage was a furious, ‘How dare you?’

His brows rose. What on earth was she on about? ‘How dare I what?’

She was almost beside herself with anger. ‘You’d barter a little boy’s love for…a date?’

‘That’s not what I said.’

‘That’s exactly what you said,’ she snapped. She hauled herself out of the car, slammed the door shut and glared at him for all she was worth. The emotions of the day bubbled to boiling point, and the steam had to be let out somehow. And here it came!

‘You arrogant, selfish…toad!’ she threw at him. ‘You know what Harry needs. He needs a friend who cares for him. That’s all. He’s not asking anything more of you than that. But you sit there in your icy, calculating world and you won’t let anyone near. And everything’s bought or sold or thought of as payment due. Take Harry to Melbourne and get yourself a date for a ball you don’t want to go to. Come and be a country magistrate and get yourself the next step up the career ladder. Buy and sell-and don’t ever get involved. You make me sick, Nick Daniels. You make me absolutely sick.’

‘Shanni…’

‘Goodbye.’

And she stalked up the verandah steps without saying another word, while Nick sat stunned.

The front door slammed shut behind her.

And Nick wasn’t able to see that, with the door safely closed, Shanni leaned against it and burst into tears.