Across the River of Yesterday

Three

"I think I've created a monster." Gideon shook his head mournfully as he pushed his chair away from the table after dinner. "You were in that studio from after dinner last night until three o'clock this morning. In the past three days you've scarcely poked your head out that door. How the hell do you expect me to seduce you, if I don't see you?"

"I warned you," Serena said with an impish grin. "You're right. The situation is entirely of your own creation. Besides, we've had meals together, we've done dishes together, we went for a walk the first day we came and we played cards…" She frowned. "When was that?"

"My presence obviously made a deep impression on you," Gideon said dryly. "I might just as well have been playing solitaire. Well, I've come to the end of my patience. The seduction begins immediately." He leaned back in his chair, stretched his legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. "And I'm not only demanding a three-day extension. I want your complete attention for at least five hours a day. I know that's asking a lot when your new love is so absorbing but-"

"You're jealous," said Serena, amazed. "You're actually jealous."

"You bet I am. I'm jealous of everything concerning you. I was jealous of that fancy prince you married; I was jealous of the years that separated us; now I'm jealous of a damn palette of paints."

"You handed me the palette of paints."

"And I'll hand them to you again-tomorrow." He made a face. "So much for my grand gesture."

"It was a grand gesture," Serena said softly. He had given her back something very precious that might have been lost forever, and he had given it with a touching generosity. He had not only let her absorb herself completely in her work, but he had deliberately rid his manner of any hint of sexuality during the last three days. She might as well have been living with an indulgent older brother. "And I think perhaps, you're a very grand man, Gideon."

"It was all a plot, you know, to create an impression. Now that I've set you up, I'm ready to move in for the kill." He stood up lithely. "Let's go for a walk."

"Where?"

"Down to the lake. That's where I'm going to make love to you."

Her eyes widened. "Now?"

"Nope. Right now I'm going through the mating rituals. Don't worry, I'll choose the right time."

Serena felt a prickle of annoyance. Gideon was running things again. She stood up and faced him. "No."

He blinked. "No?"

"You're not going to bulldoze me, Gideon." She placed her hands on her hips. "Let's get a few things straight. IJ I let you make love to me, it won't be seduction. It will be because I want to make love. And I'll be the one to choose the time." She turned and started from the kitchen. "Tonight you can do the dishes by yourself."

"Where are you going?"

She glanced back over her shoulder, "To my other lover." Then she suddenly smiled with loving sweetness. "By the way, I have every intention of giving you what you want… eventually." Then she was gone and a moment later he heard her steps on the stairs.

He stared blankly at the door until a slow smile containing both pride and a touch of mischief lit his features. "Well, I'll be damned."

She didn't look up from the canvas when she heard the door of the studio open a few hours later. "Gideon?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'll be through here in fifteen minutes or so. I have to get the shading at the foot of this tree right."

"I wouldn't think of disturbing you." His voice was silky. She heard his steps behind her. "You just keep right on painting."

"It will only be- What are you doing?"

"Nibbling your ear. Quite tasty." He stopped her with his hands on her shoulders when she would have turned around to face him. "No, your work is too important to postpone. You paint away, love. I'll find something to keep myself amused." His tongue suddenly plunged into her ear. "Your hand jumped. Now you'll have to take care of that little smudge, won't you? Sony about that."

"I'm sure you are." She could hardly speak through the tightness of her throat. The clean smell of soap and a minty after-shave lotion was surrounding her, and his body was emitting a masculine heat as aphrodisiac as the pungent male scent of him. She tried to steady her brush. "You're making it very difficult."

"Am I?" His arms reached around her and his deft fingers began to unbutton her blouse. "Well, life can be tough sometimes." He spread the edges of her blouse back and unfastened the front catch of her bra. "We have to learn to overcome these little upsets. I'm sure if you concentrate, you can forget what I'm doing to you." His hands suddenly closed on her bare breasts. "Oh, now you've made another smudge. Maybe you should make those tree roots instead of shadows."

She swayed a little, her breasts lifting beneath his hands with every breath. "Gideon, don't…"

"You've got such sweet nipples. They're poking at my palms as if they're nuzzling against me." His voice was thick. "And the weight of these pretty things is driving me crazy." He pressed his hips against her and rubbed slowly back and forth. "See?"

His length was hard and aroused as he undulated against her, and his hands were squeezing her breasts rhythmically. "Do you know what I'd like to do to you? I'd like to take all these clothes off you and try a little painting myself. I'd paint your nipples scarlet." His hand moved down to the apex of her thighs and began to rub gently. "And this lovely thing a warm gold. I'd use a very soft, delicate brush, and I think you'd like it as much as I. I'd take a very long time and each stroke would be slow motion." His teeth bit lightly at her earlobe. "I'd make sure you felt every bristle of the brush as it dipped into every curve and valley. Do you think you'd moan as I did that, love? I'd love to hear you moan and pant. Then I'd wash it all off and use my own brush to stroke you and make you moan." He brought her in solid contact and held her there for an endless moment as he buried his lips in the nape of her neck. "I think you've dropped your brush."

"I don't care." She was trembling helplessly. "Let me turn around."

"Why?"

"I want to touch you." The words were so faint, they were almost inaudible. "This isn't fair, Gideon."

"I know, but it's a hell of a lot of fun."

"Not for me. I feel so helpless."

He hesitated and then his hands dropped away from her. "Touch me."

She turned and nestled against him. Her shaking fingers quickly unbuttoned his blue chambray shirt. Then she pushed the cloth aside, and pressed her naked breasts against his hair- roughened chest. He gasped and she could feel the shudder running through him. She didn't seem to have the breath to gasp. Her lungs were so starved for oxygen that they felt as if they were burning up. She couldn't seem to get close enough to him. She wasn't conscious of the low sound of hunger she made as she thrust her breasts against him, rubbing the sensitive nipples into the springy thatch of thick brown hair that roughened his tanned chest. The fiery friction made her cry out again.

"Easy." Gideon's voice was a choked murmur. "I want it as much as you do, but if we're not careful I'll just lift you up and take you right here."

"Okay." Her voice was muffled. "Anywhere."

"The lake." He was breathing harshly, his chest lifting and falling against her lips.

"It's too far."

He pushed her away. "It will give us time to cool down. I want this to last a long time, love. You go change into that violet thing you wore the first night and I'll get a blanket."

"That's an evening outfit," she said, bewildered.

"It doesn't matter. I want this to be special. Something to remember." He smiled beguilingly. "Please."

She stared at him helplessly. She was practically exploding and so was he, and yet he wanted to delay it? She opened her lips to protest, but that blasted smile was her undoing. Sunlit tenderness and little-boy pleading.

"All right." She turned to the door. "It's crazy, but okay. But let's hurry, dammit."

"Right." He ran by her and tossed back over his shoulder, "Downstairs in five minutes."

When they met in the foyer, Gideon had a quilt over one arm and an armful of towels in the other.

"Towels?" she asked. "We're going for a swim? I must have missed something along the way. That wasn't exactly the activity I had in mind."

He laughed with a joyous exuberance that caused Serena's exasperation to ebb away. "Neither do I, love. That's why we've got to hurry or I might be tempted to throw you down in the bushes and ravish you. The swim is afterward." He took her elbow and ushered her out onto the porch and down the steps.

The night was warm and balmy and heavy with the scent of jasmine and coffee beans, and Serena's silver heels sunk into the soft earth as she kept pace with his swift steps. She began to laugh helplessly. She felt young and crazy and more exhilarated than she had in years. "Gideon, this is absolutely insane. There are beds galore back in the house, and you opt for nature in the raw."

"I want everything perfect for you. The first time I saw the lake I knew I wanted to make magic with you there."

"Magic?"

"Lovemaking is magic when it's between the right people. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with your husband, but this is going to be better." His voice was suddenly fierce. "Ill make damn sure it's better. Ill wipe him out of your mind, if it takes a lifetime."

"Gideon…" She drew a deep breath. "I'm not about to make comparisons. You're probably the one who'll find me inadequate." She paused and then continued in a little rush, "I'm not very experienced."

He didn't reply for a moment. "I know you haven't had any lovers in the last two years. If there had been anyone on the horizon, I would have dropped everything and moved in right away." His gaze narrowed on her face. "Antonio?"

"There were… problems." She smiled with an effort. "Do we have to talk about this? I just thought you should know I don't have all the techniques down pat. I didn't want you to be disappointed."

He threw back his head and laughed joyously. "Disappointed? I feel like flying over the moon. Do you know how jealous I've been of that bastard?" His hand tightened on her elbow and suddenly they were almost running. "There aren't any techniques, only instinct, and we both have an abundance of that, don't we, love?"

Her spirits rebounded to reflect the same joy she could feel in Gideon. "I'll say we do."

They came out of the encircling palms into a clearing and Serena caught her breath. It was such an incredibly enchanting sight. In the moonlight the waterfall tumbling over the limestone rocks was a shimmering iridescent stream of silver as it poured into the onyx mirror of the pool. The dark encircling palms enclosed and imprisoned the jewellike beauty with a jealous intimacy.

She stopped on the moss-covered bank, mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the scene. "It's utterly fantastic," she said breathlessly. "I've never seen anything so lovely."

"Well, you can't paint it. Not tonight, at least." Gideon dropped the towels on the ground and then spread the quilt with a quick billow of material. He turned to face her. "Lord, you're beautiful. I knew when I first saw you in that outfit that I wanted to see you wear it here." He took a step, and one finger traced the silver-scrolled trim bordering the square neckline. "This shines in the moonlight, just like I knew it would."

She could feel the warmth of his finger on her breast through the thin material. "I thought you didn't like it. Eleanor of Aquitaine, remember?"

"I like it. I was just jealous of all the other men who had probably seen you in it." His gaze was fixed intently on the naked swell of her breasts above the neckline. "And I was trying like hell to keep from doing this." His hands slowly moved behind her and loosened the back zipper. Then he pulled the neckline down, baring her breasts completely. The silver banded bodice kept them high and saucy in the moonlight, the pale globes a voluptuous invitation. "Beautiful." His voice was harsh and thick and his eyes blazing hotly as they looked at her. "But it can be improved."

He slowly lowered his head and his tongue flicked teasingly at the nipple and then enclosed it in his mouth, suckling strongly.

Serena cried out, arching mindlessly toward him. She couldn't breathe. Her bones were melting. The entire world was melting.

His mouth moved to the other breast but his hand remained on the one he had abandoned, plucking at her nipple with thumb and finger. His lips left her and he took a step backward. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were smoky with need as he looked down at his handiwork. "That's what I wanted to see. Pointed, glistening, mine." He pulled her close, rubbing her newly aroused breasts against his chest.

The springy hair teased her unbearably and she shivered. "I can't take much more," she whispered. Her nails dug into his shoulder as his hips moved to brush her with his heated arousal. "Gideon…"

"I can't either." His voice was choked. "I wanted to go slow, but I can't…" His hands were fumbling for the bottom of the tunic and he stepped back to pull it over her head with one swift movement.

He unfastened the closure of the silk trousers and dropped to his knees before her. He hooked his thumb in the waistband and slowly pulled the silk down over her hips. As her naked flesh came into view he chuckled, "You're ready for me."

"This outfit was your idea. I was in a hurry." She felt his lips on the tender flesh of her belly and swayed helplessly. The soft breeze was touching her breasts and Gideon's lips were an even more maddening arousal.

His warm palm was suddenly cupping her, his thumb toying with the tight curls surrounding her womanhood. "Damn, you're sweet here. I want to play and…" His lips brushed her. Searing heat. She cried out and swayed toward him. His head lifted. "It's too late. I've got to have you now."

"Thank heavens." Serena stepped out of the silk pajama bottoms and slipped off her sandals. Then she sat down on the blanket and watched him as he stripped. She felt no embarrassment at her total nudity. It was as if she had sat waiting for him to come to her a thousand times before. Her gaze ran over him in primitive enjoyment. Gideon was beautiful. Slim and yet sleekly muscled, his broad shoulders speaking of power and masculine strength. His buttocks were tight as a spring and his thighs a work of art. She would like to paint him someday, she thought dreamily, but not now. Now she only wanted to touch him, run her hands over those smooth muscles, and have him touch her.

Then he was beside her, his face darkly intense, as his fingers moved to her hair, fastening in its flowing silkiness as he pushed her back on the blanket. "I'll be slow later," he said thickly. "I promise, love, but I have to get inside you. It's like a fever, I'm hurting so."

"So am I." She opened her thighs and he moved between them. Then she could see only his face above her, flushed and heavy with sensuality, beautiful. A warm nuzzling demand at the heart of her womanhood and then his lips were covering her own.

He plunged deep and his lips covered the little cry she made. Hot. Slick. Full.

"Tight," he murmured. "Lord, you feel wonderful."

"So do you." She could barely speak. The exquisite fullness of him was pervading her entire body.

She wanted it to go on forever. Her hands closed on his shoulders. "Don't move. It's…"

He stayed like that for an endless moment. "I can't stand it, love." He flexed hungrily. "I have to move."

"All right. It's just-" She broke off as he began pistonlike strokes, driving with an explosive passion that almost tore her apart. She arched up, trying to help him, wanting more of him.

His fingers tightened in her hair and the slight pain was as erotic as the hot rhythm between her thighs. But the tension was mounting swiftly, too swiftly. "Gideon, it's too-"

"I know," he gritted the words between his teeth. "And I can't stop. It's been too long." He plunged deep and was still. He closed his eyes. "I want to stay in you forever." Then he was driving with a wild ferocity that shook them both to their foundations. The tension grew, spiraled, and then exploded into a brilliant release of beauty and rapture.

He collapsed on top of her, his chest moving harshly with his labored breathing.

"Damn, wasn't that wonderful?" He lifted his head and looked down at her. "Mine. You're mine now. I told you we belonged together." He kissed her with loving affection. "Don't you feel it, love? Why don't you admit I was right all along and we were meant to live happily ever after?"

Her breath was still coming in little gasps and her heart hadn't steadied its wild pounding, but she had to laugh helplessly up at him. "Gideon, don't you ever give up? This is taking unfair advantage of my vulnerable situation."

His eyes twinkled. "Oh, do you feel vulnerable?

Now I wonder why?" He stirred lazily within her. "Of course, I guess certain important strongholds have been invaded." His hands released her hair and reached down to cup her breasts. "And certain outposts have totally surrendered, but I can't see why you should feel vulnerable." The stirring was no longer lazy, but demanding. "I think maybe I'm going to see if I can make you feel that way again."

She inhaled sharply as his lips closed on her breast, and his teeth nibbled delicately. "I didn't think… not so soon."

"I didn't either. I believe I'm starving. I can't get enough." His head lifted and he looked down at her. "I may never get enough of you."

He began to move and Serena realized she might never get enough of Gideon either.

The brush of Gideon's lips against her cheek was as velvet soft as the warm glance of the sun. Strange that she should recognize his touch even in this state of half waking, she thought drowsily, as she turned her cheek to invite more than a light caress. It was as if she had known the touch and feel of him for a millennium of intimacy rather than a few short hours. Even if she were blind and deaf she'd know him by that gentle touch alone.

"Open your eyes, love."

Her heavy lids lifted to see him bending over her, his dark eyes warm and intent. She lifted a lazy hand to stroke the crescent creases in his lean cheek. "Is it morning?"

"No." He turned his head to capture her fingers with his lips, nibbling at the tips for a delicious moment before releasing them. "But I'm lonely. I need your undivided attention for a while."

She chuckled, as her arms slid over his naked shoulders. "You've had my undivided attention for more times than I can count tonight. But I'm always ready to oblige." Her tongue brushed the hollow under his shoulder blade. He tasted good. Salty and strong and alive.

"I'm not quite the satyr you think me, you insatiable wench," he said as he settled back on the pillows and pulled her back into his arms, cradling her dark head in the hollow of the shoulder she'd just caressed. "You don't appreciate the fact that I'm a very sensitive fellow. I have other needs besides the purely physical, you know."

"I hadn't noticed," she said teasingly, one hand moving to play lazily with the soft thatch of hair on his chest. This hair was sun-streaked, just like the rumpled lock hanging down on his forehead, she noticed idly. "You must admit you haven't been displaying much of your soulful side tonight. It was only natural for me to assume that you wanted more of the same." She raised her head to look down at him, the silken veil of her dark hair brushing his chest. "By all means, bare your sensitive soul. I'm waiting with bated breath." Then, as she saw the flicker of disappointment in the depths of his eyes, she sobered abruptly. Obviously he had been sincere, not teasing. She bent swiftly and kissed him with infinite gentleness. "Tell me," she urged softly.

He shook his head. "I didn't have any melodramatic declarations in mind. I just wanted to see you wake up in my bed, in my arms and to hold you. That's all."

Serena felt her throat tighten and she lowered her head to its former place on his shoulder. Those simple words had moved her unbearably. Her eyes were misting as they lay there in silent intimacy. Everything around them seemed to take on an added poignancy. The airy canopy above their heads, the gleam of the leaded-glass windows across the room, the glow of the copper lamp on the bedside table that Gideon had turned on when they'd come back from the lake. This place. This time. Could anything be more perfect?

Gideon's hand was stroking the fine hair at her temple and his voice was a deep rumble beneath her ear. "You know, when I was a teenager, moving from place to place, I used to want something totally my own, something beautiful that wouldn't change no matter what happened in the world around me." One finger moved down to outline her lower lip with a gossamer touch. "I guess it made me pretty much of a pain for a while. I was so damn possessive that I couldn't have any friends without wanting to be everything to them." His lips brushed the top of her head. "I learned my lesson eventually, when I found I was driving people away just when I wanted them closer. You can't force people to open their minds and hearts and take you in. You've got to be invited." His voice was husky as he continued haltingly, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you might have to back off and shove me away if I come too close and try to barge in where I'm not wanted. You were right when you said I was pushy." His fingers touched her lashes that were now star-spiked with tears. "You see, I've found my something beautiful, and I might not want to let go, even for a little while. Not even to let you breathe and grow. You'll have to let me know, Serena."

Her chest was aching with every breath she took, as her arms tightened around him with almost maternal fierceness. She was hurting with everything that was in her for the child he had been, for the pain and loneliness of his past, for the hard lessons he had learned, and for the honesty and vulnerability of the man he had become.

The brimming tears now flowed down her cheeks, and she felt him tense against her as a drop dampened his shoulder where her head was resting. "Hey." He raised his head to look into her eyes. "What are the tears for?"

"Nothing. I've just decided I like the idea of having a pushy man around."

His gaze searched her face. "Forever?"

She went still. Panic and rejection rose within her. It was insane. Gideon was everything beautiful and good in the world. Why was she so terrified of making a commitment?

A flicker of disappointment crossed his face. "It's all right. I don't have to have the words right now. What happened tonight was in the nature of a promise anyway. It's good enough to last us for quite a while."

Yes, it was, she thought dreamily. They lay there a long time and gradually Gideon's arms relaxed about her until they were only a comforting possessive shelter to keep out the outside world.

She was almost asleep when his voice reverberated beneath her ear with a satiny hint of threat and with a gravity that made the words a vow. "But if you ever could bring yourself to say forever, love, I'd make sure you never regretted it. Not for a minute."