Across the River of Yesterday

Six

"What in heaven's name is wrong, Gideon?" Serena asked. She had been conscious of the tension radiating from Gideon ever since they had landed in a tiny glade in the middle of the rain forest. At first, she had paid little attention to it; she had been pretty tense herself, and the heavy blackness of the junglelike forest hadn't helped to alleviate it. But the emotion gripping Gideon was somehow… different, and seemed to be increasing every second as they followed Julio through the tropical foliage.

"Nothing. " Gideon's voice was hoarse, oddly tight. "I just don't happen to care for this kind of terrain. It brings back too many memories of Nam." He drew a deep, shuddering breath. "I can't breathe here. Where the hell is Julio going?"

The air was unquestionably hot and humid, but Serena was having no trouble breathing. She slipped her hand into Gideon's in silent support.

"Who knows? But I'm willing to follow him nearly anywhere after that landing. I was sure he was going to crack up. That field was hardly larger than a postage stamp."

Gideon nodded. "He's a fantastic pilot. Let's hope he's an equally fantastic guide. We don't have time to get lost in this damn forest."

"You malign me," Julio said reproachfully. He was leaning against the bole of a huge rain tree a few yards ahead of them. He flicked the beam of his flashlight up to see their faces. "You should know by now that I'm fantastic at anything I turn my hand to, Gideon. I know exactly where we are."

"Good, then you can tell me when we're going to get out of this damn rain forest," Gideon said.

The smile left Julio's face. "I'm sorry, Gideon, I forgot about Na Peng. This forest was the safest place for the two of you to wait, until I could contact Ross. Shall we scratch it, and go on to the fishing village instead?"

"No." Gideon's hand unconsciously tightened on Serena's. "That would be criminally self-indulgent of me. Just get us out of here as soon as you can."

"I will. Wait here." Julio disappeared behind a bank of thick shrubbery and immediately emerged with a ladder. He set it against the rain tree and turned to face them. "Climb up and make yourself comfortable. I'll go on to the village and meet with Ross. I should be back in a few hours."

"Make ourselves comfortable in a tree?" Serena asked blankly.

Julio chuckled. "I forgot to tell you there was a tree house behind those overhanging branches.

Kate and I built it when we first came to Castellano. I assure you it's quite habitable. Kate even lived there for a while. For the past two years we've been using it as a refuge for political prisoners we managed to rescue from the hands of the junta. Sometimes it was days before it was safe to land a plane and get them off the island." He turned away. "Be sure you close the shades before you light the lamp. The foliage of the rain tree is fairly dense, but you don't want to take the chance of being seen." The last words were barely audible as Julio faded into the forest. Dressed in dark jeans and a black flight jacket, he immediately became one with the shadows. Serena would never have believed that the colorful Julio she had first seen at the hotel could be so quickly transformed into the competent, businesslike pilot who had met them at the airport on Santa Isabella only a few hours earlier. Ross was right. The man was an enigma.

She turned back to face the ladder propped against the tree. "Well, I've always wanted to have a tree house. Let's see if Julio's fulfills all our childhood fantasies."

Gideon didn't answer and she cast him an anxious glance as she began to climb the ladder. The force field of tension surrounding him had taken on added dimension, and his palm had felt cold and clammy before she had released it to grasp the rungs of the ladder.

Serena stepped from the ladder onto a platform, and crossed the few feet to the tree house. The door swung open on well-oiled hinges and she peered inside. Though the room was small, the ceiling was high enough for a tall man to stand upright. The beam of Serena's flashlight skimmed quickly around the room. The furnishings were very simple. Mattresses, one pushed against the far wall and the other beneath the window by the door, a rattan chest on which a hurricane lamp had been placed, and a nightstand on the far side of the room beside the mattress. Touching attempts at decoration appeared here and there. There was a polished black vase on the nightstand, and another tall vase occupied a corner. Both vases were empty, as were the rattan holders affixed to the unfinished walls. The denim covers on the mattresses appeared to be pristine, and an air of warm coziness pervaded the tiny room. Strange, considering the sparseness of furniture. It should have appeared stark and bare, but this was not the case. She felt as if all it would take would be a little care, and this small haven would come to life. Something warm and loving lingered here. "I like it." The cone of light played on the woven hemp shutters at the large window next to the door. "I guess I should leave the shutters closed, if we're going to light the lamp."

"No!" Gideon's voice was sharp. "We don't need the lamp. There's no air in here." He strode past her into the room and threw open the shutters. "Turn off the flashlight. There's enough moonlight filtering through the branches to see our way around the room." He stood there a minute at the window and inhaled several times, as if his lungs were starved for oxygen. Then he sat down on the mattress closest to the window, drawing up his knees and wrapping his arms around them. "Come and sit down."

Gideon was correct. The moonlight was bright enough to reveal all Serena wanted to see and a few things that she didn't. Gideon's skin was stretched tight over his cheekbones and his lips were set in a flat line. "Would you like me to leave the door open?" she asked gently.

He was silent for a moment, as if he were undergoing a struggle. "If you wouldn't mind." There was a thread of desperation in his laughter. "Damn, I'm sorry. I know I'm being stupid."

"No!" She crossed the distance separating them and dropped down on the mattress beside him. His arm immediately went around her and she cuddled closer. "You're not being stupid at all. It's very close in here. This is much nicer."

"Yes." His chest was lifting and falling with the harshness of his breathing.

"Would it help to talk about it?" she asked quietly. "Na Peng, I mean."

"Maybe. I don't know." His voice was unutterably weary. "I'll have to tell you sometime. It's part of me, and it's not fair to shut you out."

"I don't want you to tell me if it's going to be difficult for you."

"Easy or difficult, it doesn't matter. You have the right." He closed his eyes, his breathing was shallow. "Na Peng was a prison camp. I was captured and held there for five months. It was… hideous. The atrocities were unbelievable, not only on the military prisoners but on the Vietnamese civilians." He took a breath and hurried on as if he wanted to get it out. "There was a little Vietnamese girl… she couldn't have been more than fourteen. I don't know what she was supposed to have done, but they made us come out into the middle of the compound and watch her punishment. They killed her infant son before her eyes and then took turns raping her." His voice lowered to a tone scarcely audible. "She died the next day."

"My God," Serena whispered. She felt sick. Her arms slid around his waist and held him close.

"I escaped the next month, but I didn't find my way back to our lines for another three weeks." He tried to smile. "And now you know why I don't particularly like rain forests."

But he hadn't accepted Julio's alternate plan when it had been offered, Serena thought, and it had probably been because of her that he had refused. "Gideon-" Her voice broke. "Why the hell didn't we go with Julio?"

"No, it's okay. We have to fight these bushwhackers, remember? If we let them beat us, they hold on forever and we're never safe." He opened his eyes and she could see the moisture as it beaded on his forehead and then rolled down his face. "Just hold me, please?"

"Yes." She was aching, bleeding inside. Julio, dammit, get back here, she thought desperately. "I'm not going anywhere."

"It's all around us. That's what's so bad. Even with my eyes closed, I can hear the night sounds and see…"

They stayed like that for an eternity, holding each other. At least, it seemed like an eternity to Serena. Gideon spoke in fragments, but those fragments drew vivid and heart-wrenching pictures and finally he didn't speak at all. He just sat there and held her as if she were a life preserver thrown out onto a stormy sea.

"It's me." Julio's voice was blessedly cheerful as he called up to them from the ground. "I didn't think I'd risk getting a karate chop when I walked into the house, in case you thought it was the guardia that had stumbled on you."

Serena breathed a sigh of relief. Oh, thank heaven, now Gideon could get out of here.

Gideon's arms loosened and then dropped away from her. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to be a burden to you."

She kissed him quickly, passionately. "Now you are being stupid."

"I seem to be constantly requiring comfort," he said with a crooked smile. "It's a good thing I don't have a particularly macho image of myself, or I'd be having serious ego problems at the moment."

"I've always hated that macho nonsense," Serena said. "And comfort should always go two ways."

"I think so too." There was a hint of sadness in his smile. "I think everything should be shared."

It was clear his words pertained to more than the present situation. She frowned in concern. "Gideon, I know-"

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Julio stood in the doorway, the beam of his flashlight spotlighting the two of them. "It's time to get moving, Gideon. I brought Ross with me. He's waiting down below."

Serena scrambled to her feet. "Let's go."

Julio glanced at Gideon. "According to what Ross told me, I don't think you and I are included in Gideon's initial plan."

"Why not?" Serena's gaze went to Gideon.

Gideon stood up. "Ross and I have to do some preliminary wrangling with Mendino over the ransom." He didn't look at her. "We don't want the good colonel to become upset, do we? Once we have the situation set up, Julio can storm in for the big rescue." He grinned. "Julio's very good at flamboyant gestures."

"I want to go with you," Serena insisted.

Gideon shook his head. "Your presence would only complicate things. This little transaction won't take long. With any luck, it should be over by dawn. Julio will stay here with you until then."

"You're sure this is how you want to play it?" Julio asked gravely.

"I'm sure." Gideon turned to Serena and kissed her lingeringly. "Don't let this shameless philanderer seduce you. He's not safe when a woman and a mattress are in the same room."

Julio chuckled. "You insult me. Who needs a mattress? Don't worry, I'll take care of her, Gideon."

"I know you will." Gideon gave her another quick kiss. "Good-bye, love."

She opened her lips to protest again, but he was gone. She stared into space. There was something wrong, something about the way…

"It will be all right," Julio said comfortingly. "Gideon can take care of himself."

Her gaze flew to his face. "Why should he have to take care of himself? He said this was merely a negotiation."

"You're jumping at shadows." Julio moved to the window and closed the shutters. "It will be over soon. All we have to do is keep ourselves amused for a few hours." His white teeth gleamed as he smiled. "And, since Gideon is my friend, it eliminates the most obvious and pleasurable pastime." He crossed the room to the rattan chest, lit the hurricane lamp, and then turned off his flashlight. He held the lamp out to her. "Hold this, will you? There's a pack of cards in the chest." He lifted the lid and glanced back over his shoulder. "We'll play poker and get to know each other. Alas, not in the biblical sense." He chuckled. "And perhaps I'll tell you all about the woman who lived in this little house."

"You climb the damn tree. I'm going back to Mariba!"

It was Dane's voice!

Serena tossed the cards she had been shuffling onto the mattress and jumped to her feet. "He got him out! It's Dane, Julio! Gideon managed to get him released. I can't believe it." She tore across the room and flung open the door. "Isn't this wonderful?"

Julio hesitated. "Wonderful."

Serena teetered on the edge of the platform, peering down into the darkness. "Dane, come up here! I want to see you."

There was a short silence then Dane said grudgingly, "Okay, I'm coming up."

Serena backed a few paces to make room on the platform. Then Dane's curly black head appeared in the pool of lamplight issuing from the tree house. Oh thank heavens, he was all rightl His expression was a bit stormy, but he wasn't hurt or… She hurled herself into his arms and hugged him with all her strength. "Damn you, Dane, I hope this will teach you something. The next time someone offers you a bacchanalian revel, check for strings, you idiot."

"There weren't any strings," he protested. "And I had a helluva good time, until that ass Mendino turned into a minor Hitler." He gave her a quick hug and pushed her away. "Thanks for riding to the rescue anyway." He scowled. "And now that you've seen I'm all right, I'm going back to Mariba. I never would have left, if I'd known about the damned deal. I had my party and I'll pay the piper."

"What deal are you talking about?" Serena asked.

"I'm going back for Gideon Brandt," Dane growled. "What do you all think I am? An irresponsible kid? I told you, I had my fun and I'll be the one to pay for it."

Serena went still. "What do you mean, go back for Gideon?"

"Gideon stayed in Mariba," Ross said as he negotiated the last few rungs of the ladder and stepped onto the platform. "He made a deal with Mendino. He promised him another two hundred thousand in ransom, if he'd let Dane go and accept him as hostage instead."

She was terrified. "Why?" Her lips felt numb and her voice sounded wooden. "We were going to free Dane anyway. Julio was- "

"Gideon thought there was an element of risk involved." Ross was choosing his words carefully.

"He didn't believe that he had the right to take that risk since he felt responsible for Dane's predicament. He called me tonight from Santa Isabella and told me to set up the new deal with Mendino."

Dane muttered a low curse.

Serena ignored him, her gaze fastened on Ross's face. "What kind of risk?"

Ross shrugged. "I told you Mendino was unpredictable."

"But what does that mean?" Serena grated out between her teeth.

"It means he wasn't sure which way Mendino would jump when we launched the assault." It was Julio's quiet voice behind her. "He's very volatile and-"

"Julio," Ross said warningly.

"No." Julio moved to stand beside them pn the platform. "She's a strong woman. Don't treat her as if she were a child. I don't think it was fair of Gideon not to tell her what he was planning to do. Women can be a hell of a lot stronger than men when they have to be." He turned to Serena. "He was afraid Mendino would fly into a rage and shoot Dane before we managed to disarm them."

Serena could feel the blood draining from her face. She had thought she couldn't be more frightened, but she was wrong. "Then the same thing will apply to Gideon, won't it? Gideon is in the same danger?"

Julio nodded. "Perhaps even greater danger. Mendino will feel Gideon has made a fool of him."

"Then let's pay the ransom. Let's give them anything they want."

"It's too late," Ross said. "Julio says the entire town will be a madhouse within a few hours. The headquarters of the junta is going to be stormed and Mendino will know it's the end. We can't manage to raise that amount of cash before that happens, so we either move in and try to take Mendino now, or we wait and see. There's a small chance that Mendino will release Gideon when he makes a run for it."

"A small chance," Serena repeated, anger burning through the layers of ice surrounding her. She was suddenly freed from the bonds of horror and fear and was alive again. Alive and enraged. "We're not going to take any chances with Gideon's life. We're not going to sit around and wait. And we're sure as hell not going to let some crazy colonel call the shots." She shivered. Shots. She wished she hadn't used that phrase. It brought Gideon's danger too vividly to mind. She moistened her lips. "The problem is that Gideon will be unarmed and vulnerable right before you break into the suite. Is that right?"

Julio nodded. "That's the problem."

"Then you need someone there to furnish him with a weapon and support. Right?"

"Right."

"I'll go," Dane said. "I tried to tell you before that it was my place-"

"No." Serena met Julio's gaze. "I'll be the one to go"

"Hell, no," Ross said roughly. "Gideon would strangle me, if I sent you into Mariba."

"You don't have any choice. No one is sending me anywhere. You idiots let Gideon put his head on the chopping block, and I'll be damned if he's going to stay there." She turned to Ross. "You're so good at negotiating deals. Start negotiating a way to get me to Gideon." She turned to Julio. "You." One finger punched Julio's chest. "You said you'd managed prison escapes before. You must know all kinds of methods to smuggle weapons. Get to work on it."

A tiny smile tugged at Julio's lips. "Yes, ma'am."

"Serena, Mendino is no pussycat," Dane said hesitantly. "Why don't you calm down, and I'll-"

"I'm no pussycat either." Serena's eyes blazed at the three men. "Though I've been behaving like a veritable tabby lately. How the hell do you think I managed to raise you and keep us fed all these years, Dane?"

A hint of mischief appeared in Dane's violet eyes. "You were a hit woman for the Mafia?"

"No, but I would have done almost anything at one time to make sure we were both free and clear of your wonderful father. I would have washed dishes, or run a bulldozer or collected garbage. We all do what we have to do and try to hold onto as much integrity and happiness as we can. So don't talk to me about pussycats." Her gaze met her brother's unflinchingly. "And you're right, Dane. Some of the blame is on your shoulders. So you can damn well go with Julio and help get Gideon out of this mess." She stopped for breath. "Now all of you get to work. I want to be in Gideon's suite at the Hotel Cartagena in two hours. You figure out how to get me there, with a weapon." She stepped back and slammed the door, leaving the three stunned men on the platform.

How quixotic, how stupid of Gideon to put himself in this danger, she thought angrily. They could have found some way to lessen the risk to Dane without Gideon placing himself in the exact same situation. Yet it was exactly the kind of foolishness Gideon would be guilty of committing. She should have realized how a man who collected stray dogs and waifs, and gave himself with such total commitment to the helpless as Gideon did, would react when he had learned he had been responsible for Dane's tenuous position. The softhearted idiot was bound to rush in and…

She leaned back against the door, tears running helplessly down her cheeks. She had to hold onto anger. It was the only way she could keep going until she could be with Gideon again. She mustn't remember how he had trembled in her arms doing those last hours before he had left for Mariba or how bravely he had fought those memories. The horror of his experieces at Na Peng had made those in her own past dwindle by comparison. He deserved nothing but joy now. He had paid his dues. Yet he had gone rushing to Dane's rescue like a knight in full armor. But Gideon didn't have any armor, or weapons.

How she loved him. She hadn't even given him those words to take with him. She had been so turned inward, so locked into her own prison of memories that she had let him batter against the walls and never once let him enter. He had shared everything with her-his strength, his weakness, his love-and she had returned only a pale imitation. She had told him there was a wall she couldn't climb, a river with no bridge, but why hadn't she realized that she, herself, had built that wall? She could have spanned that river at any time, if she had only let herself think clearly. Now anger and terror had ripped aside all the self-delusions and there was nothing left but truth.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. It was stupid to stand here weeping when there were things to be done and Gideon to be saved. She had to be strong now. There would be time enough for softness when Gideon was free. Toughen up, but keep the loving. Gideon's words came back to her with aching poignancy. They had become the creed he lived by. Well, she was strong enough to be tough when she was forced, and Lord knows, she was brimming, overflowing, with love for Gideon. She just hoped she'd be able to tell him so before-

She blocked the thought quickly. Nothing was going to happen to Gideon. She straightened and unconsciously squared her shoulders. The time for tears was past. It was time to shoot a few bushwhackers out of the saddle.