Adore Me

Saturday, November 26th

A dangerous journey.

9am

I wake up, wondering where I am.

I squint my eyes, seeing only darkness and feeling Aiden’s arm across my shoulder. I remember that we were in the theater room, watching Mom’s movie, drinking wine, and kissing.

We must’ve both fallen asleep.

Aiden is still breathing heavily, and I sadly realize that I’m down to my last twenty-four hours with him. That it’s our last night together.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I get up and go find Inga. I need to see if she’ll make us a special dinner tonight. We’ll watch the sunset from the beach, have an amazing meal in the moonlight, and then I’ll tell him that I’m not going back.

The moonlight.

I suppose that will be a fitting place to tell him I'm leaving, since it's the damn moon’s fault. It's like rubbing a dog’s nose down by where they peed on the carpet.

I want the moon to see what it did.

I shake my head. It sucks. But I have to do it.

“Inga, since it’s our last night here, I’d like to do a special dinner on the beach at sunset. Would that be possible?”

“Of course. What would you like on the menu? I have some filets and some fresh mahi mahi.”

“That sounds yummy. Could we have a little of both?”

“Absolutely.” She glances around her kitchen and then grabs my palm. “May I have a closer look?”

“Um, sure.”

She looks at one palm and then studies the other, shaking her head. “I had a dream about you last night.”

“You did?”

“Well, about your palm. I dreamed that the line, here, moved. And now I look at it and see that it was not just a dream, but more of a prophecy.” She shakes her head. “I’ve never had something like that happen before.”

“What do you mean?”

She holds up my left hand. “This hand is what could be.” Then she holds up my right hand. “This hand is what is. This line. The one running through your life line on your right hand was not clear before.”

“Does that, like, mean something important?”

She nods solemnly. “This line breaks your life line. Remember this one, up here, where I said you had cheated death?”

I swallow hard. “Um, yes.”

“I believe death is coming back for you.”

“Oh,” I say.

She stares at me. “You’re not surprised by this. You are about to embark on a dangerous journey, yes?”

I can’t do anything but nod in agreement.

“And you know that you may not survive?”

I nod again. “Yes.”

She wipes her reading glasses off on her apron, puts them back on, and studies my palm some more. “Maybe you should consider canceling this journey?”

I shake my head. “I can’t. It’s something I have to do.”

“It is about getting your life back?”

I nod again.

“You love him, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Inga will cook you an amazing dinner.”

I nod and give her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

I walk to the great room window and look out at the ocean, so many thoughts going through my head, when Aiden leans his chin on my shoulder.

“You ditched me.”

“I was coming back for you.”

“You better always come back for me.”

I reach down and grasp his hand, giving it a squeeze and praying that will even be an option.

“So what’s on tap for today? We haven’t done yoga in the sand yet. Or built a sand village.”

“We’re surfing and snorkeling today,” I hear Damian say.

“And going to get tattoos,” Peyton adds.

“Tattoos, really?” Aiden says excitedly. I want a tattoo.”

“Really? What do you want?”

He grins at me. “I want a four leaf clover, right here.” He flips my hand over and shows me a spot on his wrist.

“That’s cool. What about you, Damian?”

“I’m getting the tribal tattoo I’ve always wanted around my bicep. So grab some food and let’s get out there. Did you see the waves this morning, Keats? They’re the best since we’ve been here.”

“Awesome,” I say, happy for something to keep my mind off the inevitable.

We surf and build a sand village, but decided to skip yoga and go snorkeling instead.

“Be sure to put lots of sunblock on before we leave,” I tell everyone when we’re in the toy shed getting flippers and snorkel masks.

Aiden grabs a can of sunblock and sprays our backs.

We swim out a ways and enjoy all the cool marine life for a couple hours.

Then we head back in for lunch.

In the kitchen, I notice Aiden’s back. “Oh, your back is pretty sunburned.”

“Yeah, it feels hot. I sprayed everyone else’s but forgot to do my own.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, giving him gentle hug.

He wraps me up tighter. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

We all sit down, eat, and talk.

“The fish were so amazing!” Peyton says excitedly. “So many cool colors!”

“I loved the turtles we saw.”

“They were pretty cool, but I think those blue fish with the little yellow spots were my favorite,” Aiden says.

“I saw a shark,” Damian says coolly, “but I didn’t wanna freak you all out.”

We all laugh, knowing that Damian is teasing us.

“I’m thinking about getting shark tattoo, as a matter of fact.”

“No, you’re not,” I say. “You’ve never wanted a shark tattoo until just now. If you’re going to get a tattoo, it should mean something to you.”

“Yeah, like the band I’m getting means I’m a badass.”

“And my clover will bring me even more luck. You should get one too.”

“I already have a tattoo. What are you getting, Peyton?”

“I’m getting a butterfly. They symbolize transformation and this last week has sort of changed my life. You know, all that went on at school, what I’ve realized, and then coming here. I feel new and happy.”

“That’s amazing,” I tell her as Damian snuggles with her.

After lunch, Damian says, “Okay, everyone get cleaned up and then we’ll head into town for tattoos!”

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” Aiden tells me.

“Okay, I’m gonna help Inga clean up and then I’ll be over to get ready too.”

Everyone leaves and Inga says, “I saw that boy’s back.” She drops a bag in my lap. “Here, this is aloe vera soap and some lotion. I want you to go over there while he’s in the shower and very carefully wash his back with this soap. Then gently pat the area dry and put a thin layer of lotion on it.”

I’m thinking about Aiden being naked in the shower and how I’m supposed to accomplish all this when she says, “Shoo.”

His official title.

2pm

I get to my room and peek around the corner at the shower.

The glass is starting to fog over, but I can still see Aiden’s naked outline.

I look at the soap in my hand and imagine sudsing up his entire body.

All of it.

I wonder if I should get naked?

Stop it. This is not about seduction. The poor man is probably in pain, and I’m here in a purely professional capacity.

I leave my swimsuit on, grab a washcloth off the towel rack, and open the shower door.

His back is turned to me.

And what a back it is.

His body looks like it is carved out of stone. The study of the perfect male form.

And his ass.

Oh my god. His naked, beautiful ass.

I’m reaching out to touch it when he turns around.

“Boots!” he says startled, automatically covering his private parts, but pulling me under the water with him and close enough to him so that I can’t see what I was hoping to see. “I’m glad you decided to join me.”

“I didn’t. Um, I brought you aloe soap for your back. Inga gave it to me. Told me it would help with your burn.”

“So you didn’t just want to see me naked?”

I squint my eyes at him. “This is my bathroom. You shouldn’t be taking a shower in here if you didn’t want to be seen naked. You were totally hoping I’d come in and catch a glimpse.” I hand him the washcloth. “Here, I even brought this so you can cover yourself up.”

He takes the washcloth, looks at it, and laughs. “It’s not big enough,” he says, but he still covers up with it. Then he looks down my bikini top and shakes his head. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

“What?”

“You have a severe case of reverse sunburn. See this part under your top? It didn’t get enough sun, so it needs this soap rubbed on it,” he says as he unties the strings of my bikini top, allowing it to fall to the tile.

He takes the soap out of my hand and washes my chest very slowly.

After a whole lot of sudsing, he rinses me off and then replaces the soap with his lips.

I'm trying to be good. I'm trying not to reach down and grab the washcloth. Rip it off of him.

But it's like the Titan is calling out to me.

And it’s like I now have two Keatyns sitting on my shoulders. Good angel Keatyn is telling me not to do it, but the horned and horny bad Keatyn is telling me that I need to do a whole lot more than touch it.

Good Keatyn screams, No! You can't sleep with a boy you're going to say goodbye to.

Bad Keatyn says, And that's exactly why we should sleep with him. We may never get another chance.

Aiden drops the soap, so I bend down to pick it up.

As I start to stand back up, I see it.

The Titan is fully erect and mostly hidden under the washcloth. But the washcloth is wet, molding itself around it and allowing me to see its full outline.

My insides throb.

I also realize that I was very stupid to give him one of the Moran’s thick white washcloths. I totally should have given him a tissue.

But, still, something about the white cloth covering it looks very godlike. I halfway wish I had a little mini gold wreath to crown it with.

Lord Titan, God of the underworld.

God of Hammering, Nailing, and Screwing.

Yes. This is his official title.

I imagine my body as a Homecoming float. Aiden using his godly tool on me.

I drop the soap, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard.

We kiss wildly. Passionately. Like people starved for each other.

“Do you want me to take these off?” he asks, tugging on my bottoms.

I shake my head no while running my hand across my chest. I think that was good Keatyn’s way of reminding me about my heart.

Aiden watches me intently, then backs away slightly. “God, that's hot.”

“What’s hot?”

“What you just did. Rubbing yourself. Do it again.”

I tilt my head back, close my eyes, and run the tips of my fingers from the base of my neck slowly down toward my cleavage and then down my stomach. Aiden moves so that he is standing behind me. He kisses my neck, then lays his hand on top of mine and guides it where he wants it to go.

Up to my boob, then slowly running circles around my nipple.

Up the side of my neck to where his lips are, our hands moving together from my neck to his stubbled cheek.

Then he guides my hand in a slow decent straight down to the throbbing spot between my legs. He pushes our fingers against the fabric of my bikini bottoms while he sucks on my neck.

The feel of his mouth on my neck, the water drizzling down my skin, and his hand between my legs makes me feel perfectly out of control.

He keeps kissing me and rubbing our hands with more intensity.

Wanting to maintain some level of attractiveness, I try to make cute, sweet little noises. They start out that way, until I don't give a shit what I sound like.

I move my hips in rhythm with our hands until I can't hold it in any longer. A deep oh leaves my lips as my body trembles and throbs and my legs start to feel weak.

Aiden growls something unintelligible in my ear, picks me up, and sets me on a tiled ledge that I thought was for shampoo, but now realize is the perfect height for this.

I wrap my legs around his waist as his lips land hard on mine, his tongue delving deeply in my mouth.

“I’m not telling you no again,” he says.

I so want him to rip my bottoms to shreds and plunge that beast inside of me, but that will just make tomorrow even harder.

Speaking of hard.

He pushes the Titan forcefully against my bottoms, which are straining to keep it out.

I kiss down his neck and then find his hungry lips again.

I can tell that he's struggling not to lose control, but I want him to.

I want to be the one who makes him feel out of control.

Plus, I'm on the edge again. Wanting the release, but not wanting it to be over.

I lean my back against the wall, grab his butt tightly, and push back against him.

Then, eventually, we both lose control.

He leans against me, keeping me pinned against the wall, and breathes deeply.

“See, we can have lots of fun without actually doing it,” I say as he sets me down on wobbly legs.

He doesn’t really reply, just pulls my bikini bottoms slowly off me, rinses them out, lays them on the ledge to dry, and wraps a towel around me while he kisses me.

“You continue to surprise me,” he says, while we’re drying off.

“Why?”

“All you had to do was slide your bottoms over a fraction of an inch.”

“I know. I just . . . I mean . . . Maybe we can just play in the backyard for awhile.”

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You like it in the backyard?”

“I’m talking the backyard not the back door.”

“I’m confused,” he says.

“You know, like playing in the backyard as opposed to playing inside the house.”

He gives me a naughty grin. “So eventually you will want me to play in the interior portion of your house?”

“Aiden, I've wanted to have sex with you since I met you. But when you got mad at me for trying to unzip your pants, I wasn’t going to invite you in. I just wanted to have some fun playing outside.”

“So I was at least right about you wanting to wait?”

“Yes. I do want to wait.”

“Until when?”

“Until I know we have a chance,” I say softly, meaning not until I get my life back.

The green flash.

4:30pm

After going to town, getting tattoos, and coming back home, I tell Aiden I want to get ready in my room alone, but ask him to meet me at my door at 5:20.

“Five-twenty?” he says, kissing my nose. “That’s very specific.”

“There’s a reason why it’s very specific, but it’s a surprise.”

He leans on my doorframe, looking like he has no intention of letting me get ready by myself. “I’m glad you got the tattoo,” he says, flipping my wrist over and looking at the four-leaf clover on it.

He says it in a dreamy way that makes me feel guilty. I’m afraid he thinks I got it just because of him. What he doesn’t know is that it’s about so much more.

“I like it too. I’m glad you talked me into it. Now you have to go.”

“I want to watch you get ready,” he says. And the way he says it touches my heart. It’s like somehow he instinctively knows this is our last night together.

“Please, Aiden. I haven’t really fixed my hair or done my makeup all week and I want to look nice on our last night here.”

He kisses me and says, “Your wish is my command.”

I get ready, doing my hair up in big curls, teasing the crown a little, and applying more eye makeup than normal. I even added a glittery gold powder across the tops of my lids that I hope will glimmer in the moonlight.

At 5:20 on the dot, Aiden knocks on my door.

As soon as I open the door, he takes in my dramatic shimmering orange silk ruffled dress and says, “Wow. You look gorgeous.”

“Thanks, but come on. We have to hurry,” I say, dragging him down to the beach.

I watch his face as he sees the table set up for two in the sand, tiki torches blazing around it.

“Is all this for us?”

“Yes, we’re going to have some wine, watch the sunset, and then have dinner here in the moonlight.”

“We are supposed to watch a million sunsets together,” he says adorably.

I look at the sun moving down the horizon and listen to the waves crash.

I have to tell him tonight.

Just not now.

I pour us each a glass of wine and ask, “Have you ever seen the green flash?”

“Like the super hero?”

“No, like, just as the sun goes down, right before you can’t see it anymore, sometimes, if you watch carefully, you can see a green flash. Some people say it’s a myth, but I think it’s magical.”

“So have you seen it before?”

“Yeah, but not everyone sees it.”

“We’ll both see it tonight.”

“You’re always so sure of everything.”

“Only the things that have to do with us.”

We toast to sunsets and sit and watch the sun move closer and closer to the ocean.

Look,” he says, pointing toward the horizon, “I think it’s almost time.”

He grabs my hand. And when he squeezes it, all of a sudden, I see it.

The green flash.

“Oh my gosh!” I yell.

“Did you see it too?” Aiden asks excitedly. “Was that it? I’ve never seen anything like that before. The sun literally turned green for a second. How did it do that?”

“Yes, I saw it! But I’ve never seen it do that before! It was amazing!”

“But you just said that you’ve seen it before.”

“I think I lied.”

He cocks his eyebrow at me.

“Not on purpose. I think I wanted to see it so bad that I convinced myself I did. But I didn't know I hadn’t really seen it until I just saw the real thing.”

Aiden reaches out and touches my cheek. “Kinda like the difference between loves.”

“The sunset was like loves?”

“Yeah, like, everyone falls in love at different times in their lives. And when you’re in it, you think you know what it’s like to be in love. Until you meet your true love and feel the real thing.”

I nod in understanding.

He grabs his phone out of his pocket, presses a few buttons, and reads, “It’s an optical phenomenon caused by the refraction of light . . .”

I take the phone out of his hand. “Don’t read that, Aiden. I don’t want to know if there’s a scientific reason for it,” I say as I walk over to a fake rock just above the sand line, pop it open, and connect his phone to the beach’s speaker system, turning on our twenty-nine song playlist.

“May I have this dance?”

“Yes.”

He pulls me into his arms and sways with me.

“You were pretty hot in the shower,” I tell him.

“And you wore the skimpiest bikini known to man today. No wonder I can barely control myself.”

“I did not. It’s not like I had on a thong. No one needs to see my naked ass.”

“I do,” he says with a grin as he twirls and then dips me.

“Dinner is served,” Sven tells us, setting our dinner on the table.

This one’s for you.

10:30pm

We’re all in the hot tub, being careful to keep our tattoos out of the water and listening to Damian entertain us with stories from his recent tour of Japan. About how he couldn’t fit his knees under the table at a fast food restaurant because the table was so small. About the ongoing pranks the band plays on each other. And even what’s up next for him.

Peyton talks about school and the things she’s looking forward to. How she’s thinking about graduating early. About how she’s not ready to go back.

Aiden tells us a few funny family stories and I tell a couple about my crazy little sisters.

Damian says, “I think we need some champagne,” just as Sven walks out onto the pool deck.

“There’s a call for you on the house line, Mr. Damian,” he says, handing him a phone.

Damian puts it up to his ear, gets a huge grin on his face, puts the phone on speaker, and says, “Holy shit, Keats! You’ve gotta hear this.”

I squint my eyes, like it will help me hear better, and lean toward the phone.

There’s all sorts of noise. Almost like it’s a concert. Is this Twisted Dreams playing at the Undertow without him?

But then I hear B’s voice yell, “You guys are never gonna believe this. Hell, I can barely believe it!”

My eyes get big and I sit up straight.

There’s a crowd that’s cheering and going crazy.

Then a booming voice announces, “And in his first ever pro tour victory, BRRRROOOKLYYYYN WRIGHT!”

There’s more cheering and then the announcer voice says, “Brooklyn, tell us how you’re feeling!”

B’s voice gets even louder, like he’s using a microphone now. “I’d like to thank my dad, my sponsors, and the great fans here in Oahu that came out to support us, but I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for one special girl.” His voice gets quieter, almost like he’s speaking just to me. “Keats, you told me to follow my dreams wherever they took me and even though you're not here with me, know I wouldn't be here without you. I love you, Keats.” Then he yells, “Here’s to causing a little chaos!”

The crowd goes crazy and the call disconnects.

Oh my gosh. He did it!

He won!

Happy tears stream down my face.

Then it suddenly dawns on me that I’m not the only one who just heard what B said.

Seeing the hurt look on Aiden’s face causes me to quickly jump out of the hot tub, saying, “Uh, I need a minute.”

Then I run down to the beach and cry.

I cry for everything I'm missing out on.

And because Aiden just heard B say he loves me.

I cry for all the hurt I’m causing everyone.

Maybe I should just walk out into the ocean and never come back.

Damian plops down in the sand next to me. “I’m an idiot. I got excited and put it on speaker, not even thinking about Aiden. I hope I didn’t screw things up for you.”

“It’s okay, Damian. I’m not mad.”

“For what it’s worth, I get it now. You’re stuck. You can't go forward and you can't go back. You’re like a hamster on a wheel, spinning and spinning but going nowhere.”

I sniffle and wipe the haze of tears from my face. “Exactly.”

“The last time we talked, when you told me you were cracked, I didn’t get it. And other than the first night, I haven’t seen it. You looked like your normal happy self. But the look on your face when you got out of the hot tub. You couldn’t hide it. You looked exactly like you did at your dad’s funeral. I’m so sorry I haven’t been more understanding. There’s no excuse for why I haven’t talked to you more. Been more supportive. I was busy doing stuff that didn’t matter.”

He wraps his arm around me and pulls me toward his shoulder.

“Damian, I don’t think you can understand what you haven’t gone through. Now do you see why I’m not going back? This is killing me. If Vincent hadn’t happened, I know I would’ve been there today. I would’ve celebrated with him in person. I’m so incredibly proud of him.”

“But then you wouldn’t have met Aiden. I like him. And I like his sister a whole lot.”

“I like Aiden too. That’s why when I left to come here, I wasn't planning on going back. I can't take heartbreak too. I can't form a lasting relationship with someone when I'm lying to him.”

“I think Aiden loves you.”

“Which only makes it worse. I don't want to hurt him. His nose got broken because of me. Imagine what Vincent could do to him. And what it will do to his heart when he finds out the truth.”

“So you like B more?”

“Everything with B is familiar. I know what to expect from him. And he’s growing up. He’s not smoking. God, his eyes are so beautiful when he’s not high. And what he did for Gracie. He’s like home . . .”

“But?”

“But my idea of home is kinda starting to shift.”

“Like how you said Aiden made your loft feel like home?”

“That’s the real reason I can’t go back there. Because Aiden ruined it.”

“Keats, how? What did he do?”

I touch my mouth and start crying harder.

“He ruined it like he ruined my lips. When he was there, it felt like home. And I don't ever want to kiss another boy.”

“Then don’t.”

“But I promised B.”

“Why did you promise him?”

“Because I want to go home. I want my life back. I want to press rewind.”

“If you did that, then where would Aiden be?”

“That's the problem. I don't know where all my friends from school would fit into my life. And I’m really worried about B now.”

“Why?”

“Because if Vincent hears what B just said. It’s gonna put a big target on him.”

“Do you still love him?”

“I’ve always loved him. It sounds bad that I dated Sander for so long and was in love with someone else, but I was. He was my dream guy.”

“Even before you and B got together—those two years you were friends—everyone knew. Why do you think none of the other guys ever hit on you?”

“Because they thought of me as B’s.”

He nods his head.

“I even wrote a song about it. Because I wanted that. I wanted to find a girl who would look at me that way. I know you were fighting some when you were on tour with us, but I always believed you’d work it out. I thought you’d marry him someday.”

A wedding flashes into my mind. Our beach at sunrise. Even though it’s a crazy time to have guests, it would have to be at sunrise.

Stop it.

Don't do this to yourself, Keatyn.

Think about now.

“Can I be honest with you?” Damian asks.

“No, Damian, lie to me. I'm sick of the truth. I want you to tell me it's all going to be okay. Just lie to me.”

I start crying again, so he hugs me tighter. Which, in turn, makes me cry harder as I remember the way he hugged me the night of my party.

I determinedly stop crying and state, “It was love at first sight for you and Peyton.”

He looks at me funny and says, “Yeah, I told you that.”

I pull out of his arms, get to my feet, and pull him up with me. “Come on. We have something important to do.”

“Where are we going?”

I smile at him. “We’re going to do what I should’ve done the second you met her. We’re going to make a wish.”

He smiles at me and starts down the pathway toward the mermaid fountain.

“No, this way.” I lead him up to my room. “I have something more powerful.”

“Did you make your wish when you got here?”

“I did.”

“Did you wish the same thing you always do? That you will find your prince?”

“Yes. Then Aiden gave me his penny and told me to wish for something new.”

“For him?”

“I think that's what he wanted me to wish for.”

“But what did you wish for?” I hesitate, so he adds, “We decided a long time ago that it’s legal to share your wish with your very best friend.”

“I wished for my life back.”

“That's a good wish. And it would solve all your problems at once.”

“Not really, but it's the only wish that would allow me to solve them.”

I look up and see Peyton standing on the veranda. Her cover-up is moving in the breeze as she looks out into the ocean. And it makes me feel good to know that I’m not giving up on the fairy tale. And if I can’t have it, I’m going to make sure someone else gets it.

As we enter the turret and climb the stairs to my room, I say, “You know, when I was little I always thought I'd marry you.”

“That's just cuz I have a castle on the beach.”

“And you sing like a good frog.”

I lead him into my closet, grab my suitcase, unzip the top part of it, and pull out Tink.

Damian starts laughing. “You carry around a wand? Seriously?”

“Don't laugh. Ivery gave me this Tinkerbell wand when I left home and told me I could make a wish on it. She was selfless and I’m selflessly using my wish for you—which makes it doubly powerful.”

I grab his pinky with mine, wave the wand at him, and wish, “I wish Damian and Peyton will live happily ever after.”

Damian grins at me, then runs his hand through his hair. “I can't believe I’m excited that you just made a wish for me on a plastic wand. Jesus, I’m in deep. It’s just so amazingly weird, though, how we’re both here, don’t you think?” He stops in his tracks, pulls out his phone, and types something down.

I know that means he just thought of a song lyric he doesn't want to forget.

“I better go find Aiden and talk to him,” I tell Damian.

We go downstairs and see Aiden pacing the beach, his footsteps kicking up sand.

“Keatyn, if you love him, don't let your circumstances get in the way.”

“I don't want to hurt him.”

“You can't have love without risking heartache, and he seems like he's more than willing to take the risk.” I nod, but don’t move, so he pushes me toward the beach. “It’s time to go see if you and Aiden have enough dirt to survive that phone call.”

I must not look convinced, because he adds, “And if you still want him to get on the plane without you tomorrow, I’ll personally see to it.”

From the beginning.

11pm

“Hey,” I say, for lack of a better line.

“You've been crying,” he says, sitting down next to me.

I nod. “I have lot of conflicting emotions.”

“Did you tell me the truth about when you saw him at your sister’s birthday party?”

“Yes.”

He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. I realize now that I won’t have to tell him goodbye tomorrow. That he’s going to walk away gladly.

Hell, he’ll probably thank me.

“I was just stalking him on Facebook. He doesn’t seem to have a personal page, but he does have a fan type page that he made in August. The first three pictures he uploaded were of you. The two of you.” Aiden lowers his head a little, his eyes shiny. “You looked happy with him.”

“I was happy with him. Most of the time.”

“Tell me about him. About the two of you. When we fought that day, you defended him.”

I feel his pinky grab ahold of mine. It’s a simple gesture, but one that speaks volumes.

He’s not running away this time.

“Of course I defended him. You were way off base thinking our relationship was about sex. Do you really want to hear all of this?”

“Yeah, I do. From the beginning. From when you met.”

“My mom traveled for her job, so I was tutored. I never went to a real school.”

“But wait, I thought you met Damian at school.”

“Not a regular school. We shared the same tutor and depending on where his dad was and where my mom was, sometimes we ended up in class together. Anyway, I was around adults a lot. My mom always said that I was mature and worldly. But I was very naive about some things. Like relating to kids my age. I watched a lot of movies. Read a lot of books. And I had this fantasy school experience in my head.”

Aiden squeezes my pinky and laughs. “Let me guess, you planned it out down to the shoes.”

I smile at him. “Kinda. It was the summer I turned fifteen. My mom had been with my stepdad for a while, and we were living on the beach. It was the first time since before my dad died that we had a real home, and I knew this was my chance to go to a real high school. I'd seen the movie High School Musical and wanted that. That perfect high school experience. I wanted to be the most popular girl, date the most popular guy, and if the basketball team had broken out into song during practice, I would have joined in.”

Aiden touches my face. “You're so adorable.”

I get tears in my eyes again. Because how could he even say that after what just transpired? He should hate me. “Why do you think that?”

“I can see the sparkle in your eyes. How excited you were. It's like you believed your life could be a fairy tale.”

“Well, I used to.”

“We'll get to that later. Keep going with your story.”

“So, I got two things for my birthday. They told me I could go to a real high school and they got me a surfboard. My stepdad explained how to surf, then sent me out to do it. I spent hours in the water trying to get it right.” I pause, because I can still see it so clearly in my mind. “And then he walked down the beach and helped teach me. Shaggy blond hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. And it was like bam—I was in love. Fast forward two years. He’d become one of my best friends, and I was living out what I thought was my perfect high school experience. I was dating the hottest guy at school. And I was popular.”

“That doesn't surprise me. You're in everything.”

“I wasn't there. My friends considered school activities uncool. I only played soccer. But we had partying down to an art form.”

“That surprises me. I just can’t picture you a drunken mess.”

“I wasn't. My perfect boyfriend was the mess.”

“He's the guy you dated for a year and a half but didn't sleep with?”

“Yeah.”

“So he was gay?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Yes, but I didn't know it at the time. So it’s prom night. I had a beautiful, sexy dress, great shoes, and knew it was the night I’d finally lose my virginity.”

Aiden tilts his head. “But he didn’t want to because he was gay?”

“I still didn’t know he was gay, but I guess. He dropped me off at my door after the party and barely kissed me.”

Aiden laughs. Really laughs. I’m afraid he’s losing it.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not really funny.”

“Because our proms were like horrible mirror opposites.”

“What do you mean?”

“You're going to laugh at my stupidity.”

I run my fingers across the top of his hand. “No, I won’t.”

“I did what you wanted. Got a nice hotel room. Even had chocolate covered strawberries and champagne.” He laughs again. “Honestly, I didn’t come up with that. Shark helped me plan it. Said that’s what girls want. What she’d want. I think he’d taken a poll or something.”

“Who was your date?”

He gulps and looks at me intently. “It was Chelsea.” He runs his hand through his hair again, like he’s struggling with telling me.

I want to scream and throw a fit. But after what he just heard and how he’s calmly talking to me about it, I can’t. I bite both my lip and my tongue as he continues.

“I thought . . .” He shakes his head at himself. “Remember you asked me about my most embarrassing moment?”

“Yeah.”

“We’d been hanging out since I asked her to prom a few weeks earlier. We’d done everything but sex, so this was supposed to be the big night. I was going to tell her I loved her, ask her to be my girlfriend, and then we’d do it.”

“Did you love her or did you just want sex?”

He shakes his head. “Honestly, probably a little of both. I liked her, but I wanted more. I should preface this by saying that I pretty much thought I was the shit. Up until that point, I had dated and slept with whoever I wanted. I wasn’t like Logan, who was totally in love with Maggie. But after seeing them together, I wanted that. That one person to love me, not just who wanted to hook up with me.”

“Okay.”

“So, we’re at the dance. It’s a slow song. The lights are dim. And even though I had planned it out differently, it just felt right. So, I told her I loved her, then and there, and asked her to be my girlfriend.”

“That’s sweet, Aiden.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “She was sort of drunk, and when I asked, she let out a scream and started laughing hysterically. Then she proceeded to grab two of her girlfriends and loudly tell them what just happened and how she couldn’t believe I didn’t know she was dating— and fucking— two other guys.”

“And everyone heard?”

“Yeah.”

I wrap my arms around Aiden in a hug. “That must’ve been awful. What'd you do then?”

“Well, it gets worse. Believe it or not, that wasn’t the embarrassing part.”

“What else happened?”

He looks at me tentatively. “I’m not sure if I should tell you this, but I need you to know. Especially after what happened with Chelsea. Because if you ever only heard just part of the story . . .”

I put both my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me. “It’s okay, Aiden. You just had to listen to my ex tell me that he loves me.”

“That was rough.”

“I know it was. I’m sorry. Please tell me.”

“So, Logan and Maggie—I swear, I totally ruined their night—anyway, they took me to an afterparty. We did some shots. Well, I did quite a few shots. And there were a couple of girls there who felt sorry for me.”

My mind is trying to figure out why he wouldn’t want to tell me this.

Wait. “A couple of girls?”

He hangs his head in embarrassment and nods. “Yes. Two. My life was out of control. Eastbrooke was a blur of drinking, girls, and sports. And although my friends were proud of me, I wasn't very proud of myself.” He pauses and looks at me. “You haven’t walked away yet.”

“I’ve done some stupid things too, Aiden. Things I’m not really proud of. So then you just decided to change?”

“Sort of. I went back to my hotel room. By then, I had sobered up and was feeling pretty bad about myself. So I sat out on the balcony, drank the champagne alone—straight out of the bottle—and, as the sun was almost ready to come up, I made a wish on the moon.”

“You what?!”

“Silly, right? You're supposed to wish on shooting stars. But I was tipsy, couldn’t find any, and the moon was just there.”

“What did you wish for?”

“My perfect girl,” he says wistfully, looking out at the moon shimmering above the ocean.

I feel like I just got punched in the gut.

Could he have really wished for me?

Could it be true?

“Um, Aiden, when was your prom?”

“It was May 13^th. Friday the 13^th. Weird, huh? Having Prom on Friday the 13^th like some bad horror movie. But I guess that was the only time they could get the venue. Probably because no one else wanted it then.”

Aiden is speaking. Going on and on about Friday the 13^th, but my mind is busy calculating. It was 2:30 when I got in my room the night I made my wish. A three hour time difference would be around 5:30am. Before the sun came up.

Oh. My. God.

“So after that, I didn’t date anyone. Didn’t do anything with anyone. Until you kicked a soccer ball at my head.”

I start to cry.

I can’t help it.

Fate is so, so cruel.

I want to tell him that I wished on the moon too. That he’s my perfect boy.

But I can’t tell him that.

Not when I have to tell him goodbye.

I have to make him believe I’m not it.

That it’s someone else and that she’s still out there waiting for him.

And that’s when I lose it.

I put my face in my hands and start bawling.

Aiden puts his arm around my back. “Why are you crying so hard? Do you hate me? I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you before, but we were . . . And then everything . . . Please stop crying and tell me what you’re thinking.”

I look up at him and say the last thing in the world that I want to say to him. “Because I’m probably not the girl you wished for, Aiden.”

He squints his eyes at me and shakes his head. “Is that because after what I told you, you don’t want to be that girl?”

“No, it’s not because of that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just don’t think . . .”

He grabs my hand and places my palm on his chest. “Close your eyes. What do you feel?”

I close my eyes, only because it will be easier to finish this without looking at him. “I feel you breathing.”

“Try again,” he says in that voice. The voice that has the power to make me comply.

“I feel your heartbeat.”

“No, what you feel is my heart beating for you. Always. Only. Ever. For you.”

I open my eyes and look at him, shaking my head. “How can you even say that? After everything?”

“Because I can feel it. And I know you feel it too.”

“Love at first sight is just a crazy notion made up by hopeless romantics.”

“There's a lot about us that's crazy, but there’s a lot about us that’s right. You belong with me, Boots.”

“Because I couldn’t be anyone else’s?” I say before I think better of it.

I get the blazing love god smile. “So you do listen to what I say?”

I let out a little chuckle. “Maybe.”

“I always thought Dawson was the reason you were holding back emotionally, but it was him, wasn’t it?”

I nod.

He flips both our wrists over, exposing our fresh tattoos. “Did you know that each leaf on a four-leaf clover has a special meaning?”

I shake my head and let out a big sigh, trying to stop myself from crying.

“The first petal is for faith. You need to have faith in us. The second is for hope. The hope that we can get through whatever life throws at us. The third is for love. And the fourth is for luck. We already know that we’re lucky together.

I notice that he skipped commenting on the love petal.

But then he grabs my hands and looks into my soul. “Look, this isn’t at all how I wanted to do this. But I love you. A deep-within-my-soul, heartbreakingly beautiful kind of love.”

I open my mouth to speak, but he holds up his hand. “No. I don’t want you to say anything. And I’m not even saying I love you yet. When I say that, I want it to be perfectly right. Like out of one of your fairy tales. But I need you to know how I feel.”

I wipe my tears and nod.

And then we kiss.

And this kiss kills me.

A knife straight through my heart kills me.

Because I feel that way too.

“You’re still crying,” he says, wiping away my tears.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby. It’s been a rough night. Let’s go to bed.”

Then he takes my hand, leads me to my turret, takes my dress off, puts his blue linen shirt on me, pulls me into bed, kisses me sweetly, and holds me tight.

Pretty soon, I notice that he’s breathing heavily; asleep.

I glance at the clock, counting down the time I have left with him and holding him tighter than I ever have before.

Sorta like fate.

3am

I can’t sleep. My brain is still counting down—ticking and ticking— the hours and, now, the minutes until I have to say goodbye.

My stomach hurts. My heart aches. I feel sick.

I still can’t believe he wished on the moon.

But, yet, I know it’s true. Deep down inside me, I know it’s true.

And I don’t want to leave him.

But I know I have to.

I know it’s the only way.

I stare at him sleeping next to me.

Knowing it will be the last time.

I close my eyes and try to soak him in. The feel of his body curled into mine. His strong hand protectively holding my leg. The smell of his neck. The pace of his beating heart.

As I start to cry, I hear music. The same chords gently strummed across a guitar over and over. A soft, dreamy voice.

I slide out of bed, being careful not to wake Aiden, peek out the window, and see Damian sitting down by the water with his guitar.

I throw a robe around me and tiptoe out of the room.

“That’s pretty,” I say, sitting down next to him. “Is it new?”

When he replies, I see the boy I used to know, who was a little unsure of his talent, not the confident man he’s become. “I’m working on a song for her. I feel like I know everything about her but yet I don’t know the most important thing.”

“What’s that?”

“How to make her mine. She’s gorgeous. Sweet. My dream girl. When I walked up the beach, I felt like . . . I don’t even know; it’s hard to put into words. That’s why I’m having a hard time with this song.”

He studies me closely. “Are you and Aiden okay?”

I shrug, not knowing what to say.

“He had a chat with me. Like the talk Tommy had with me the night before I took you parking.”

“We didn’t go parking.”

“You and I know why you wanted to go up there.”

“Research for a role.”

“Exactly. But Tommy didn’t believe that. He basically told me if I touched you, he’d fuck me up.”

“He wouldn’t say that!”

“He didn’t say that, but that was the message. Trust me.”

“He's really protective of her. They've been through a lot together.”

“I know about everything.”

“Like what?”

“She told me all of it. Listed every reason why I shouldn’t like her. What happened with her mom. Why she ended up at school. Why Aiden went there. Her affair with the teacher. Her friend threatening her. Her partying, activities, and the names and addresses of every boy she ever kissed.”

“Why would you need their addresses?”

“So I can write each one a thank you note for being a dick to her.”

“You really have been talking.”

He nods. “And I told her everything about me. My past, the tour, and even the groupies. Now if I could just put in words how I felt when I first met her.”

I think about how Aiden made me feel when I first met him. “Did you feel like she spoke to your soul? Or like she was a magnet that you couldn’t help but be pulled toward?”

“That’s exactly what it felt like. Hang on,” he says as he writes the words magnetic and soul into the notes app on his phone. “She probably thinks I’m a freak because I can’t stop staring at her, but I feel like I’m looking at my future. And that smile.” He stops again and adds smile and future to his list.

“Wanna hear a funny story?”

He nods at me.

“I tutor Aiden in French. And one of the very first times we were in the library studying, he told me we were fate. That it was fate that we were there. That we both ended up at the same school. And I laughed at him . . .”

Damian starts typing, so I stop talking. “No, keep going,” he says.

“Anyway, he asked me what the French word for fate was and it’s . . .”

“Sort,” Damian says slowly.

“Right. And then he said that we’re sorta like fate.”

He puts his palm into the air. “Hang on.” He types some more then says, “What else?”

“Then he told me that he’s going to ask me to marry him at the . . .” Tears start streaming down my face. Damian looks up from his phone.

“Marry you?”

“Yeah, at the top of the Eiffel Tower, at sunset.”

“It sounds like something you would’ve scripted.”

“It’s way better than anything I’ve ever scripted,” I reply, hugging myself and trying not to have a total crying breakdown.

“Don’t cry,” he says, lightly punching my thigh. “Close your eyes and listen to this.” He starts singing, “You’re my faith and inspiration. You’re the ink in my tattoo. You’re the water in my desert. All I can think about is you. You’re the sun in all my sunsets. You’re the wind in every breeze. You’re the moon on my horizon. You’re the one that makes me breathe.”

“That’s beautiful, Damian.”

“I need a chorus. Something about fate. And us being here. I’m gonna record us. Listen again and then sing the first thing that pops in your head. Okay. Here goes. You’re my faith and inspiration. You’re the ink in my tattoo. You’re the water in my desert. All I can think about is you. You’re the sun in all my sunsets. You’re the wind in every breeze. You’re the moon on my horizon. You’re the one that makes me breathe.”

I feel his words resonate in my heart and when he finishes, I sing, “It’s sorta like fate that we’re together. It’s sorta like fate that we’re both here.”

He continues, “It’s sorta like you and me forever.”

“My destiny is clear.”

“Holy shit. That’s it,” Damian says. “That’s exactly it. You’re a genius.”

I give him a smile, then bite my lip so I won’t start crying again.

Damian turns off the recorder and puts his hand on top of mine. “You still planning on telling him goodbye?”

“Yeah.”

“Keats, I think that might be a mistake.”

“You know I don’t have a choice.”

“Are you sure about that? I mean, have you really thought it all through?”

“Yes, there’s no other way.”

“What if I help you find another way? No one knows I’m here. If I went back with you, I could help.”

I shake my head. “If you go back with her, I can’t go back. And you can’t help me.”

“So, you’re going to make me choose?”

“Yeah, Damian, I am. And your choice should be easy. If you love her like I think you do, don’t you dare let her go.”

“I love you too, you know.”

“I know, but it’s not the same.” My eyes fill with tears. “Damian, will you promise me something?”

“Okay,” he says tentatively.

“That didn’t sound like a promise. I’m completely serious about this. I need you to promise that you’ll do this for me.”

“Okay, I promise. What do you want me to do?”

“If I don’t make it through this battle with Vincent. If I die. I need you to tell Aiden that I loved him.”

Damian’s eyes get huge and he lunges toward me, knocking his guitar into the sand. He grabs both my arms and says sternly, “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that.”

“Just promise me, please. I can’t do this if you don’t promise.”

He lets me go, looks into my eyes, and nods. “I promise, Keats.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna go back to my room. Try to get a little sleep before—well, just before . . .”