Adore Me

Sunday, November 27th

I wish none of us had to leave.

6am

I dozed off at some point, but the clock is still ticking in my brain and I can’t lie here any longer.

I wander down to the beach and find Damian still out in the cabana, asleep.

I go up to the house and grab a few of Inga’s homemade oatmeal cookies and two cups of coffee and carry them out to the sand and wake him up.

“Shit,” he says. “I can’t believe I fell asleep out here.”

I look out at the sky brightening as the sun rises behind us. “I didn’t tell you, but something happened last night.”

“Besides the call from Brook?”

“Yeah. I saw the green flash.”

“You always say that.”

“No, for real. We both saw it.”

“You’re totally in love with him.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“So why would you even want to give B a chance?”

“Because I promised.”

“But why did you do that?”

“Because, Damian, he’s the boy I’ve always dreamed about.”

“And now, if they were both standing in front of you and you had to choose, who would you pick?”

“I had a dream like that. You were in it, but you were a wolf. We were all humans trapped in wolves bodies and I had to choose between the Brooklyn wolf and Aiden wolf. And I think you helped me somehow, because when I kissed one of them, I chose right. It was true love’s kiss, it broke the curse, and all the wolves turned back into men.”

“But you don’t know who you kissed?”

“No.”

“So what does that tell you?”

“I don’t know.”

“I do,” he says confidently. “It tells you that when the time is right, you’ll make the right choice. Maybe that’s the momentous decision you’ll have to make. But still, I think you’re making a mistake right now. I think you should be looking forward, not looking back.”

“I am looking forward. I have to get my life back.”

“I think you should go back to school.”

“If I do that, you can’t date Peyton.”

“This sucks,” he says, running his hands down the sides of his face. “So you’re really going to do it? You’re going to put him on the plane and say goodbye?”

“I have to, Damian.”

“So where are you going?”

“I’m going to stay here for a few more days, if that’s okay. I’ll spend some time online looking at farm properties that I can lease quickly. I had originally thought I’d go somewhere in the Midwest, but now I’m leaning toward Texas. Did you know that in Texas if someone comes on your property, like trespasses, you can legally shoot them? Well, at least I think so. I need to look and see if it’s an actual law or if it’s just Grandpa’s bullshitting, but I do know they are a very gun-friendly state.”

“So your plan is to learn how to shoot, then lure Vincent to Texas, where you will then shoot him for trespassing and it will be over?”

“Oh, I never thought of that. That’s a really good idea. And one that wouldn’t require the mob or jail time.”

“Do you have other ideas?”

“I have a whole lot of ideas. One of which is just walking into Vincent’s office and telling him I want to audition for his movie. See what happens.”

“Keatyn, fuck! You can’t do that!”

“I love you, Damian, you know that. But, in this, only I have a say about what I can or can’t do. When I saw Vincent in Vancouver, I wasn’t so much scared as I was pissed.”

“You weren’t scared?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Fine. I was scared. Really scared. But I was really mad too. And the mad is starting to take over.”

“You’re mad because you want to be with Aiden.”

“My life is unsettled because of Vincent. I’m mad because I can’t see my family. I’m mad because my mom is freaking out scared. She’s losing weight. Won’t ride anywhere with Tommy. Thinks Vincent is going to kill them both. My own family was afraid of me. They were afraid I brought Vincent to them.”

“But you would never do that.”

“But, yet, I almost did. He was headed there. He had men on the plane with him. Men who looked like Garrett.”

“Garrett scares me a little.”

“He’s been really nice to me. But tough, you know. And I love Cooper.”

“He’s the bodyguard?”

“Yeah, he’s a badass. And it’s really sad. His older sister was killed by a stalker—in fact it happened at Thanksgiving time.”

Damian looks like he just got the wind knocked out of him.

“I would seriously die if anything happened to you. You always have been and always will be my best friend.”

“I thought about faking my death. Even about killing myself.”

Damian’s eyes get huge and he grabs my shoulders and shakes me. “Tell me that is not part of your plan.”

“It’s not. I don’t think it’s just about me anymore. James said something about Vincent wanting both me and Mom. I’m positive there’s stuff going on that they aren’t telling me. So my being gone wouldn’t solve my family’s problems.”

Unless I take Vincent down with me, I think, but don’t dare say out loud.

“This is all just crazy.”

“Yeah, it is.”

He gives me a hug and says, “I’m gonna go shower before Peyton wakes up. There’s a lot I need to tell her. And you need to talk to Aiden. When are you going to tell him?”

“Right before you leave for the airport. I’ll tell him and just not go with.”

“You think he’s going to accept that?”

“That’s the other thing I need you to do, Damian. Make sure he gets on that plane and goes home.”

I move from the cabana to go sit in the sand. I close my eyes, sit still, and just breathe.

I need to say something to Peyton about not going back too.

But I can’t come up with anything.

The truth is, I don’t want her to go back to Eastbrooke without me. I don’t want to miss dancing during basketball season, or our competition, or the first big snowstorm, or winter formal, or French weekend . . .

“Hey,” Peyton says, sitting down beside me. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t believe it’s already time to leave. Have you seen Damian this morning?”

“Yeah, he went to shower a little bit ago.”

“He says he’s writing me a song.”

“He is. He was working on it last night on the beach after you went to sleep.”

“We slept together,” she whispers. “And he wasn’t there this morning.”

“That doesn’t mean what you think it does. Damian is creative and driven and when he’s inspired, he has to get it out of him.”

“So does he write every girl a song? Is that, like, his thing?” She sighs.

I think to when I asked Aiden if he brought every girl lunch, or clovers, or cake.

“No, it’s not his thing. He’s never written a love song before.”

“Sure he has.” She quotes, “Her eyes get bright every time he’s around. The ocean waves beat out her heart’s sound. Their love begins as a ripple and grows into a tidal wave. But he’d surf through uncertainty just to see that gaze. Oh baby, if you only knew, Oh, baby, the feelings I have for you, Oh baby, if you could only see, Oh, baby, it needs to be you and me. He’s totally got a crush on someone. Or has a girlfriend. Or something.”

“One, I would’ve told you if he had a girlfriend. And two, that song is about me.”

“He’s in love with you?”

“No, silly. It’s about me and the surfer guy. We were friends for a couple years before we got together and supposedly everyone could see we were in love.”

“What about forget about him, come surf the crowd with me, it ain’t the water, but baby it’s plain to see—” She stops. “That song really resonates with me. About how she’s popular but no one sees that she cries herself to sleep.”

“Remember I told you on the plane about how I became the biggest bitch ever?”

“Yeah . . . So that song’s about you too?”

“Inspired by what happened, yes.”

“Does he have a secret crush on you?”

“Damian is like my brother. Absolutely no crushing. Well, except for the big one he has on you.”

She gives me a blazing smile. “Do you think so?”

“I know so.”

“He says he wants to see me again. That this isn’t just a vacation hookup and that it’s the start of an epic romance.”

“He’s not like other guys, Peyton. He’s honest and he doesn’t play games. He’s the kind of guy you can trust. And now that he’s back in the states, he’ll probably be all over the internet, so you can keep an eye on him.”

“I’m not going to stalk him.”

“Annie says it’s not stalking, it’s research. Nothing wrong with that.” I tease. “So, are you all packed?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to leave here,” she says quietly.

I see Aiden walking toward us and say, “I wish none of us had to leave.”

“I’m all packed,” he says, sitting down next to us.

Peyton’s phone dings. “Oh, I have to go,” she says and then rushes off.

Aiden seems lost in thought. He keeps tilting his head like he wants to ask me a question but doesn’t know if he should.

“What?” I finally say.

“Can I ask you a question about your ex?”

“Uh, sure.”

“If he loves you, why aren’t you together? Why doesn’t he come see you at school? Why aren’t you at his competitions? Like, this weekend. You were off school. Why didn’t you go watch?”

“Uh, well, because I’m not allowed to see him.”

“But yet you have. You saw him on Labor Day break before you went to the Hamptons. And then again when you went to the birthday party.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t supposed to see each other.”

“Do your parents not like him?”

“No, my family likes him. It’s complicated, Aiden.”

“I’m sure it is, but I need to understand.”

“Maybe it isn’t my parents that don’t want us to see each other.”

“So, his parents?”

“His dad.” I don't want to flat out lie to Aiden, but B’s dad did play a big role in his leaving the way he planned to, even before Vincent happened. He was afraid I’d hold him back.

“But you said he’s older than you. Why would he even have to listen to his dad?”

“Because even though he has sponsors, he still needed his dad’s financial support to do it. He has a trust fund, but he doesn’t get it until he’s, like, thirty or something. The deal was that he’d try it for a year and see if he was good enough. And if he turned out to be good enough, he’d probably get full sponsorship, and then could do whatever he wanted.”

“So, after a year, he’s coming home? To you?”

“In theory, yes,” I say, because that was the original plan. Sort of.

“When’s that year up?”

“On my birthday. August.”

He reaches out and grabs both of my hands in his. “I’ll take it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Boots, I may not be out winning tournaments for you, but I’m with you every day. I’d much rather have that. And if in August you wanna go see him, then go. I'm up for the competition. By then, we’ll have built such a strong foundation that no one could tear it down. So your choice will be easy.” He gives me an adorably cocky smile and points to himself. “Me. Speaking of that, why haven’t you packed yet? Don’t we have to leave for the airport soon?”

Oh gosh. This is it. This is where I finally have to do it.

I’ve been dreading this moment since we stepped off the plane.

“Yes, you do have to leave for the airport soon.”

“What do you mean, you? And why do you look sad again?”

“Because I’m not going with you. I’m not going back to Eastbrooke.”

“Why not?”

“Family stuff, kinda.”

“Then why did you let me come with you? Give me hope? Why didn’t you kick me off the plane?”

“Because I didn’t handle it well when we were at school. Things felt unsettled, and I wanted to give you closure. Give us closure. I didn’t do it to hurt you, Aiden. I just wanted to be able to say goodbye.”

Aiden stands up quickly and paces in the sand in front of me. “Where are you going?”

“Probably France,” I say, pushing back tears.

Aiden pulls me off the sand and into his arms. The wind blows my hair across my face in front of me. Aiden pushes it behind my ear, gets close to me, and says softly, “Then I’m moving to France too.”

“You’re what?”

“Wherever you go, I go.”

“What? No. What about your sister?”

He looks over my shoulder, so I glance behind me to see Peyton happily laughing and swinging her feet off the edge of the pool, Damian sitting next to her.

“I think it's time I start living my life for me,” he says.

“But, Aiden, it’s not that easy. You have school.”

“School is overrated. Let’s stay here.”

“But—”

He kisses me, effectively stopping me from speaking.

When the kiss ends, he gently pulls away and looks at me seriously. His eyes tell me everything I already know. “Keatyn, I mean it. Wherever you go, I go. I don't have a choice.”

“Sure you do—”

He pulls my hand up and places it on his chest.

“You have my heart and I kinda need it to survive.”

“But—”

He kisses me again. A good, long, powerful tongue kiss. Either I’m becoming weaker or he’s definitely becoming more powerful.

“Do you trust me?” he says, still holding my hand against his chest.

“Yes.”

“Good. Because when I said we’re going to be together forever, I meant it.”

Tears run down my face because this is exactly what I dreamed a boy would say to me.

But my life isn’t a dream.

He sweeps my hair behind my neck and kisses it.

He must think he needs to infuse me with more love potion.

But I never really needed it.

He's had a piece of my heart since the moment I laid eyes on him.

“Forever is a really, really long time, Aiden,” I say softly.

“And I was thinking just the opposite, Boots. Forever isn’t going to be nearly long enough for us.”

The End