Afterlife

Chapter Eight

LUCAS AND I STAYED UP MOST OF THE REST OF that night, curled in each other’s arms out on the lawn. Death had made us immune to autumn’s winds or tfue chill of the soft earth beneath us. So we spooned together beneath one of the large oak trees, half covered by the first fallen leaves as the wind bRew them over us for a blanket. The leaves were the colors of our hair — deep red and dark gold. We were part of the fall. And, for the first time in far too long, we were truly part of each other. “You haven ‘t said we should leave Evernight,” I whispered.

“Don’t think I haven ‘t thought it.” Lucas nuzzled the side of my face. “I hate knowing how dangerous this place is for you. But. . I have to trust you to make your own call about the risks. That’s the deal we made, and I’ll stick to it.”

With my head still dizzy from the trap in the library, and the scratches on my shoulder sore, I wondered whether I needed to reassess the risks at Evernight Academy. But until Lucas was steadier, I knew, remaining here was our best option. “I’m just fine.” I kissed him, soft and deep. “Nothing worse can happen to me. In fact — it’s like I finally see that so many good things can still happen to me. That there’s a lot I can do here, for you and for everybody else.”

Lucas half smiled. “Not a ghost, but an angel.”

“There’s a lot you can do here as a vampire. Think about how many students my mother and father helped, or how often Balthazar was able to bail us out. Being dead. . it’s not the worst thing that can happen.”

He was quiet for a while after that. considering. “It’s just — this hunger.”

“I know.”

“If I ever snap, and if I hurt someone … kill! someone — ”

“You won’t.” I wanted badly to believe that, and to help him believe it, too. “You’re strong, Lucas. As a kid, you made it thro111gh Black Cross training that would’ve crushed some adults. You went undercover when you were nineteen years old and you pulled it off. I mean, you fooled Mrs.

Bethany, and you might just be the only person who’s ever done that for long.”

At that, he actuaUy laughed; it was a rueful laugh rather than a happy one, but I’d take what I could get. It just felt so good, being here with him without the weight of the world crushing us down.

I kept counting off points. “You think for yourself, which is a lot rarer than it ought to be. You can admit when you’re wrong, which is even rarer than that. You’re loyal, and you’re courageous, and you make friendships that last forever. That’s all part of you. The best part of you.”

Very serious now, Lucas shook his head. “You’re wrong.”

“Listen to me — ”

“You listen.” He snuggled more tightly against me. “You’re the best part of me. Always.”

I closed my eyes and rested my head against his arm, finally at peace — at least for one night.

The next day, Evernight Academy continued along in its usual whirl of activity — in its own way, I thought, more alive than most of its student body. People jumbled together in the hallways, the vampires sleek and sophisticated, the rest wondering vaguely why they couldn’t fit in. Traveling down the hallways was scarier now, because I never knew where the next trap might lie. But I took it slow and proceeded carefully. So far, so good.

I was searching for Lucas, intending to follow him into class. I wouldn’t distract him; he was honestly trying to do the course work, as a way of killing time if nothing else. After our reunion last night, it felt like enough just to be at his side, and I suspected he would feel the same way.

But then I saw someone who looked lonelier than Lucas had — my mother.

Mom’s clothing was much the same as it had always been: simple skirt, practical shoes, and a soft sweater. Her caramel — colored hair was pulled back in the ponytail she’d worn as long as I could remember. But the spring had left her step, and there was no light in her eyes as she trudged down the hallway toward her twentieth — century history class.

When I drifted through the door of her classroom, she was writing on the blackboard. I read the words along with the students: THE LOST GENERATION. l saw a few familiar faces in the room, most particularly Balthazar; he ‘d lived through this, and remained more hooked — in than most vampires, but I realized he had probably enrolled in this class in particular in order to stay close to my mom.

Oh, sure, I mused. Now you’re thoughtful. Why weren’t you thinking al1ead when Lucas needed it the most? Balthazar had brought Lucas into the fight with Charity knowing that Lucas Wasn’t himself — something I still hadn’t gotten past. But for my mother, if not myself, I couldn’t help feeling some gratitude toward him — and toward Patrice, who sat a few rows ahead and was probably enrolled for the same reason, though she would never admit it.

“The Lost Generation. That’s what they called the people who came of age during the First World War — or, as they called it then, the Great War. Anybody know why that was?” Mom asked tiredly.

She was directing her question at the human students, of course, or at least the vampires who had been turned after that era. It was an unwritten rule at Evernight Academy that relying on historical knowledge you ‘d lived through was too much like cheating.

Skye Tierney, who sat in the front row, raised her hand. “Because the Second World War hadn ‘ t happened yet.”

“Correct.” Morn’s gaze remained a couple inches above the class, not quite engaged with them. Dark circles ringed her eyes. It looked like she hadn’t slept well in weeks. “Because they couldn’t believe humaniry could ever be that stupid twice.”

A couple of the vampires smirked, obviously thinking that was a slam on human beings, instead of what it was — Mom being fatalistic. Balthazar shut his eyes briefly as if trying to shield himself from their stupidity.

My mother clutched her chalk in her hands, fine yellowish powder coating her fingertips. Her gaze was distant, her voice softer than it should ‘ve been for addressing a roomful of students. “World War I shattered people’s beliefs in every aspect of their society. People could no longer worship an aU — protecting God after so many of their sons and brothers died in the trenches. Soldiers who had suffered from mustard gas and machine — gun fire and starvation could no longer trust the governments and generals who had sent them to the front with promises of a war that would last only a few months. Women who had picked up the slack of war work in factories and managed at home alone for years could never be ‘sheltered ‘ again.” Pens scratched on notebooks; keyboards of laptops clicked. Everybody thought this was going to be on the exam. I could tell this was just Mom getting lost in sad memories.

She continued, “Some of those women had lost everyone they’d loved. Every promise they’d ever made to their children to keep them safe. . those promises were broken. After that, you could never — they could never believe again.”

Oh, Mom. I wanted to put my arms around her so badly. Did I want to hold her and tell her it would be okay, or was I childish enough to want her to reassure me?

A few of the vampires — the older ones, who had been through that time, too — looked as sad as my mother did; Balthazar suddenly seemed acutely interested in his shoes. I realized I’d never asked what he did in that war, if anything. Whatever had happened to him then might darken his memories, or maybe he simply understood Mom’s mindset better than anyone else and felt bad for her.

Reaching out to other people, I reminded myself. Taking care of them, even if I happen to be mad at them right now. That’s what I’m here for.

I went to his side. His fingers weren ‘t holding his pencil very tightly — having witnessed these events, he apparently didn’t see the need to take notes. So I took control of the pencil and wrote, within his grip, Do you think she’s okay?

Balthazar sat upright very quickly, but he got over being startled fast enough. His grip tightened as he took the pencil back from me. No, I don’t.

He let the pencil slightly loosen again so that I could reply. What about my father? Do you think he’s able to help her?

He asked me to leave his class. The reminder would be too painful, he said. So that sounds like a no. Bianca, why don’t you appear to them? I hate lying to them that you’re completely gone, forever.

Mom and Dad hate the wraiths. They did everything they could to stop me from turning into one and wouldn’t say one word to me about my becomiilg anything but a vampire. The next words were hard, but I forced myself to finish: I’m afraid they’d r ect and hate me. too.

They’re your parents. They wouldn’t do that. They’d accept you. Like Lucas’s mother accepted him?

He didn’t have a response for that.

In her seat in front of Balthazar, Patrice started shivering; apparently the presence of a ghost always created a chill in the air. She glanced over her shoulder once, obviously curious about the cause of the draft. I moved toward the door, unable to take much more of this, but I looked long and hard at Mom before I left the room. Every time I saw her now felt like it might be the last time.

I wanted to appear to her and to Dad so badly. I imagined appearing before them, wearing the white camisole and cloud — patterned pajama pants I’d died in, and slipping on the bracelet so that I could become solid. Ifl did that, there would be nothing I’d want more in the world than to run into their arms and feel them hug me again.

And then I imagined them turning away. If they did that — I would never get over it.

The other students had started talking about the upcoming scrnool trip into the nearby town of Riverton days ago, but I hadn’t paid much attention, because I doubted any of my friends would take part. The trips were a recent innovation — a treat for the human students. Vampires tended to skip it entirely, because getting to Riverton involved crossing running water, which for them always induced chills, nausea, and sometimes a kind of shock. Also, anything the humans enjoyed was automatically extremely uncool to the vampires. The only human I spent any time with anymore was Vic, who would probably stick around school to hang with Ranulf. 81 However, my plans were about to change.

After Mom’s class, as students crowded into the hallways, I sought Lucas. I felt like he needed me, and after seeing my mother’s anguish, I needed him, too. But as I carne along his right side, Mrs. Bethany stepped smoothly to his left. “Mr. Ross.”

“Mrs. Bethany,” he said, casting one quick glance in my direction; he’d sensed that I was there and obviously felt protective. Although we both knew that I was invisible, something about that woman made it seem as though she could detect me anyway.

But she seemed to be thinking about something else entirely. “You have not yet put your name on the list of students joining our first off campus trip. I seem to recall that you were fond of such outings.”

“Back when I could cross a river without wanting to throw up, yeah.”

“Such discomfort is momentary,” Mrs. Bethany said. “It can be overcome.” Lucas shrugged. “I don’t see the point.”

“I will share a secret with you, Mr. Ross. The secret of how I learned to bear being dead.”

What would ever make Mrs. Bethany reveal something so personal? Lucas’s face looked just as shocked as I felt. “Urn, okay.” Then he shook off his surprise. “Actually, that’s something I’d like to hear.”

“Right now, I suspect, you are attempting to forget what you loved about being alive.” Mrs. Bethany’s skirts rustled as she made her way through the crowd, people parting to leave a wide berth around her and Lucas. “To distance yourself from those joys, believing yourself separated from them forever. But that is a mistake.”

Lucas walked more slowly, obviously trying to take that in. “But it’s not like I can.. I don’t know, go get a good hamburger or go swimming in the ocean — ”

“No. Some things are closed to us. But surely you can enjoy the entertainments Riverton has to offer.”

We’d gone to the classic movie house on our flrst date. He’d bought me my brooch in the vintage clothing shop. It would be fun to visit some of those places again, together. So what if I had to hide? Call it another take on a “blind” date.

Maybe Lucas picked up on what I was feeling, because he slowly nodded. “That’s true. I could still go.”

Mrs. Bethany smiled in satisfaction. “Remember your life,” she said. “Don’t let go of it, any more than you must.” Then she straightened, entirely formal once again. “I shall put your name on the Riverton list.”

“Thanks.”

As we wandered out onto the grounds, I whispered, “I’m so glad you said yes.”

“That was kind of weird, wasn’t it?” He was clearly thinking about Mrs. Bethany. “Her opening up like that.”

It was kind of weird. More than weird. I knew I should be grateful to her — she appeared to be looking out for Lucas, in her own way — but she scared me too much for that. I didn’t want to talk about her any longer, or even think about her. Better to concentrate on better times ahead. “If it gets us back to the movies, then it’s okay by me.”

Lucas laughed, and I basked in the pleasure of being just another girl, looking forward to her weekend date.

I could’ve just ridden the bus into Riverton that weekend, hovering above Lucas, but we agreed that I might end up frosting the windows. Instead, he took the brooch with him so I could zoom to his side once he got there. Lucas took along a spare coat and a set of sweatpants in his backpack; that way, if we were the only Evernight students in the movie house, as usual, I could become solid and we could hang out like before. Maybe make out like before. I was definitely hoping for that one.

My impatience only grew in the half — hour after the bus left. It felt like eternity to wait, hanging out on the roof beside one of the gargoyles and letting the soft rain pass right through me. I knew there was no point in going to Lucas before he would for sure be in Riverton, but I was so anxious to get there. Especially to that movie house, the very first place we’d ever gone on a date. It was so precious to me that I could envision every bit of golden scrollwork on the walls, the red velv·et curtains, the posters — Wait. Was it possible that I’d loved it enough to bond with it? That it was one of the places I could instantly travel to, and “haunt,” after my death?

Worth a try, I decided. I faded out slightly, letting go of the material world around me at the school, and envisioned the movie theater in as much detail as my mind could hold. Everything about it, the woodwork, the frame of the theater itself, I willed to take shape around me.

And I was there.

Yes!I would ‘ve done a fist pump of victory if I’d been solid. The theater hadn’t changed in the slightest. There was the old — fashioned popcorn machine, a little brass cage with a red — and — white striped sign. And here was the swirly patterned carpet, so thick and soft I longed to have feet that I could sink into it. Tonight’s show, to judge by the spotlighted poster, would be “To Catch a Thief.” Cary Grant, total glamour, total romance. Could this be any better?

Well, yes, I realized. It looked like this was going to be a crowded show, so Lucas and I wouldn’t have much chance to be alone. The movie wouldn’t start for another half — hour, and already several people had taken their seats — though they kept looking restlessly toward the doorway where I had materialized, looking through me, for someone else — And then it hit me. I recognized some of them — including, down in the front row, Kate.

Black Cross. I felt terror wash through me, so hard that I thought I’d turn to ice. Tiley realized where Lucas went after being turned into a vampire, and they remembered about tile Riverton trips from when be was spying for them before. And tbis isn’t a handful of people like she brought to Philadelphia — this is a full Black Cross bunting party.

They’ve staked this place out. They’re lying in wait to kill him. l rushed out of the lobby; I knew I must have frosted one of the glass doors, but I didn’t care. Black Cross Wasn’t looking for me. If I didn’t warn Lucas in time, they’d pounce on him as soon as he entered the theater. Even his strength and fighting skill wouldn’t save him against a dozen vampire hunters.

As I made my way down the street toward the town square, though, I realized that the party in the ilieater Wasn’t the only one. There, sitting in a booth at the diner, ignoring a plate of fries in front of her, was Eliza Pang, ilie leader of Black Cross’s New York cell. And, worst of all, lurking in one alleyway near ilie square were Raquel and Dana.

The Riverton bus pulled in, and students began to pour out. I only had eyes for Lucas and so paid no attention to the others, who were laughing and talking, walking past me with no idea I was there.

Lucas was one of the last ones off the bus. He looked badly shaken, almost weak. The running water must have affected him strongly. “You okay, buddy?” said the driver.

“Okay. I’m going to get a coffee real quick. That will help,” Lucas said. What he meant was that he could sit down in the coffeehouse without anybody bothering him for a second. He thought I would come to him in the theater and didn’t want me to see him looking so weak.

It doesn’t matter, just get someplace private, so I can warn you! I didn’t see any Black Cross hunters in the coffeehouse, but that didn’t mean there weren’t a couple I didn’t recognize. Quickly I darted after him, hoping to whisper in his ear before he could go inside anywhere.

And then I just — stopped. Went blind. Lost everything.

Within an instant, I’d become unable to move forward, back, up or down — anywhere. A trap! I thought in panic, thinking of that creepy box back at Evernight, but this was different. Instead of a steady, inexorable pull, I was simply held firmly in place. It was like the difference between sinking in quicksand and merely being stuck in an elevator. Well, an elevator with the lights out.

Had Black Cross done this? Were they after both of us? What was going on? All I knew was that this imprisonment, whatever it was, kept me from warning Lucas that he was in terrible danger.

Then I saw a single shining circle open up before me, shimmering just like a pool in the moonlight. Carefully I peered out — and saw my captor staring down at me in shock.

“Bianca?”

“Patrice?”