And the Bride Wore Red

CHAPTER EIGHT

ALONE now, Lang and Olivia drifted up to the top deck. Darkness had fallen completely and the brilliant moon overhead showed the stark outline of the river.

Olivia had read about the Yangzte River; it was nearly four-thousand miles long and the third-longest river in the world. But nothing had prepared her for the reality.

Used to English waterways, where the sides were either gently sloping or completely flat, she was stunned by the height of these banks that loomed up almost like sheer cliffs on either side.

‘They seem to go up for ever,’ she said, leaning back against Lang. ‘And they blot out everything. It’s like a separate world.’

‘Do you mind that?’ he murmured against her hair. ‘Do you want to go back to the other world where everything’s in the right place?’

‘And always the same place every time,’ she supplied. ‘Until it isn’t the right place any more. No, I don’t want to go back to that.’

She sighed and raised her arms up to the moon that seemed to glide in a narrow river between the high cliffs.

‘This is the world I want!’ she cried. ‘The one where I belong-but I never knew it.’

Lang dropped his head and she felt his lips against her neck. Yes, this was what a part of her had always known would happen. She’d thought herself safe in the tight little box she’d constructed to protect herself from feelings. And all the time the truth had been waiting for her, ready to pounce out of the darkness, catch her off-guard and fill her with joy.

Slowly she turned in his arms and looked up into his face, which she could just see in the ghostly light. Then he lowered his head and she forgot everything as his mouth touched hers, filling her with a delight that transcended anything she’d known before. All her life had been a preparation for this moment.

Their first proper kiss in his family’s home had been thrilling, but it had contained a hint of performance for an audience. Their embrace in the teahouse garden had been sweet, but still they had lacked total privacy, and it hadn’t been quite perfect.

Now they were alone with the moon, the sky and the mountains, alone in the universe, and the truth that was flowering between them was for no other eyes.

His kiss was gentle, his lips moving softly over hers, awaiting her response, then growing more urgent as he sensed her eagerness. She answered him in kind, exploring to see how much she tempted him, then relaxing as the answer became gloriously plain.

He kissed her mouth for a long time before moving to her eyes, her cheeks, even her chin. He was smiling.

‘What is it?’ she whispered.

‘You’ve got such a pretty chin. I’ve always thought so. I promised myself that one day I’d kiss it.’

She laughed softly and felt his lips move down her neck to the base of her throat. The sensation was so pleasurable that she gave a long sigh of satisfaction and wrapped her arms about him, drawing him as close as possible.

They held each other in silence for a long time, then he stepped back, took her by the hand and together they went below deck.

The door into the suite opened noiselessly, and Olivia locked it behind them without turning on the light. For now they needed only the moonlight that streamed in through the window just behind the bedhead.

This man wasn’t like other men. Even in the bedroom he didn’t rush things, but took her into his arms again, kissing her slowly, giving her time to be ready for the next step. When he deepened the kiss she was ready, opening up to him from deep inside, eager for what they would exchange.

Slowly he drew her down onto the bed. She felt his fingers moving on the buttons of her blouse until it fell open and he was helping her remove it. When her breasts were free, he touched them almost reverently before dropping his head to caress them with his lips.

Olivia sighed with satisfaction and laid her hand on his head, letting her fingers run gently through his hair, tightening them slightly as the pleasure mounted then arching against him, inviting him to explore her further. He did so, starting to pull at the rest of her clothes, but not fast enough for her. She undid her own buttons, then his, opening his shirt wide and running her hands over his chest.

She had to discern it by touch and everything she found delighted her-the smoothness, the slight swell of muscles, the faint awareness of his heart beating.

‘Tell me what you’re thinking,’ he murmured.

‘I want you,’ she said simply.

‘I’ve always wanted you-is this really happening?’

‘Yes. We can have anything-everything.’

As though the words were a signal, he hurriedly removed the last of his clothes and she did the same. They had known each other such a little time, yet they were both moved by the thought that they had been kept apart too long. Later they might talk about this, try to analyse it, but now there was only the urgency of leaping barriers, closing the distance, becoming one.

She opened her arms and he fell into them like a man coming home, loving her body and celebrating it with his lips and his hands, teasing and inciting her into an ecstasy of anticipation. Her head was spinning, her flesh thrumming with desire until at last they were united in one powerful movement, and she was claiming him as urgently as he claimed her.

She wanted it to last for ever, and for a few glorious moments anything seemed possible, but then it ended suddenly in an explosion of light and force that consumed her then threw her back to earth, gasping, reaching out into the darkness, no longer sure where she was or what was happening.

‘Olivia…’Lang’s voice reached her from a thousand miles away.

‘Where are you?’ she cried.

‘Open your eyes, my love. Look at me.’

She did so, and found his face close to her. Even in the darkness she could sense his profound joy, feel the smile on his lips as he pressed them against her cheek.

She lay there, breathing hard, trying to come to terms with what had happened to her. It was a loving beyond anything that she’d known in her life before, something that possessed her completely, but only because she was willing to be possessed.

‘Don’t go away,’ she whispered, tightening her arms about him.

‘I’m always here, if you want me.’

‘I want you,’ she said passionately. ‘I want you. Hold me.’

He did so, keeping her against him while they both grew calmer. She was suffused by a sense of well-being such as she had never known before, as though everything in the world was right. She was where she was always meant to be, in the arms of the man who had been made for her, as she had been made for him. Of that she had not the slightest doubt.

‘Do you remember what you said?’ he asked softly. ‘That we could have everything?’

‘Wasn’t I right?’

He shook his head. ‘No, I’ve just found out that it isn’t possible. Because, when you think you have everything, you discover that there’s something more and you’ll never reach the end. There will always be something more in you for me to find. And I will always want to find it.’

She nodded slowly. ‘And I’ll always want you to.’

He moved back carefully, looking down, trying to read her face in the moonlight. She smiled, and something in that smile seemed to reassure him, for he relaxed.

‘I wondered how it would be,’ he murmured. ‘I knew we belonged together from the first moment we met.’

She raised an eyebrow and surveyed him with a touch of mischief.

‘Really? You were very sure of yourself.’

‘No, I was never that. You scared me. I wanted you so much that I was haunted by the fear of not winning you. I thought maybe there was another man, and when I found that there wasn’t I couldn’t believe my luck. I waited for you outside the school and pretended I was there as a doctor.

‘I tried to be sensible. You’d have laughed if you could have seen my mental contortions. I didn’t call you for several days because I was trying not to be too obvious, but you must have seen right through me.’

‘Not quite,’ she said with a memory of herself growing frustrated because he hadn’t phoned.

‘I did it all wrong. I left it so long to call you that the school term came to an end and I thought you might have gone.’

‘So that’s why you came and haunted the gate?’

‘And I practically kidnapped you. Didn’t you notice?’

‘I can’t really remember. I was too busy for distractions.’

He regarded her in dismay. ‘Really?’

She just laughed. Let him wonder.

‘I thought you might have left early,’ he resumed, ‘and I’d have lost you through my own carelessness. I nearly fainted with relief when I saw you coming out of the school. After that, I did everything to make sure of you-asking you home to dinner-’

‘Asking?’

‘Yes, I didn’t give you much chance to refuse, did I?’ He grinned. ‘But how could I? You might really have refused, and I couldn’t chance that.’

‘Then you were quite right not to take any risks. And when you asked me to go to Xi’an, and joined me on this boat, you didn’t take chances about that, either. I barely had time to catch my breath.’

‘That was the idea. I thought I’d got it all sewn up. I was insufferably pleased with myself, so I suppose I was really asking for fate to sock me on the jaw.’

‘This I have to hear. How did it do that?’

‘I arrived to collect you and you’d gone, “for ever”.’

‘It was just an accident.’

‘I didn’t know that. I thought you’d had enough of me and decided to get out fast. You might have left the country and vanished into thin air. I didn’t know how to contact you in England, and I couldn’t ask the school until term started weeks later. I nearly went mad.’

‘You could have texted my mobile phone.’

‘Not if you’d turned it off and blocked my calls,’ he said glumly. ‘Which you’d do if you were running away from me.’

She stared at him, astonishment at his vulnerability mingling with happiness that she affected him so strongly.

‘You’ve really got a vivid imagination, haven’t you?’ she said.

‘You arrived just in time to stop me going crazy.’

Light dawned. ‘Is that why you slammed your hand on the taxi?’

‘I had to do something. It was that or a heart attack. I’m not usually violent, it’s just-I don’t know-it mattered. And until then I hadn’t faced how much it mattered.

‘But I could tell you didn’t like me getting so worked up, so after that I backed off, played it cool, so as not to alarm you.’

‘I thought you were having regrets,’ she whispered.

He shook his head and said in a slow, deliberate voice, ‘If there is one thing I will never regret, it is you. If I live to be a hundred I shall still say that this was the supreme moment of my life. If you leave me tomorrow, I’ll still remember this as the greatest joy I ever knew. I say that with all my heart and soul. No, don’t speak.’

He laid his hand quickly over her lips, silencing what she would have said.

‘Don’t say anything now,’ he urged. ‘I don’t want you to be kind, or say what you think I want to hear. I’ll wait gladly until your feelings prompt you to speak. Until then, silence is better.’

She could have said everything at that moment, gladdening his heart with a declaration to match his own. But instinct warned her that his reticence sprang from a deep need, and the kindest thing she could do for him was to respect that need.

So she merely enfolded him in her arms, drawing him close in an embrace that was comforting rather than passionate.

‘It’s all right,’ she whispered. ‘It’s all right. I’m here.’

In a moment they were both asleep.

She awoke in the early hours to find him still lying across her in the same position. Everything about him spoke of blissful contentment.

Then he opened his eyes, looking at her. The same contentment was there, like a man who’d come home. It became a joyous, conspiratorial smile, the meaning of which they both understood. They had a shared secret.

Light was creeping in through the curtains over the window behind the bed. She pulled herself up in bed and drew the curtains back a little, careful in case they were passing another boat. But the river was empty. There was nobody to see her nakedness, so she moved up further. He joined her and they sat together at the window, watching a soft, misty dawn come up on the Yangtze, drifting slowly past.

It was like a new day in which the shapes were ill-defined, changing from moment to moment, but always beautiful, leading them on to more beauty and happiness.

Could you really start a new life like this? she wondered. Or was it nothing but a vague dream, too perfect to be true? And did she really want to know the answer just yet?

She slid down into the bed again, stretching luxuriously, and he joined her, laughing. Then he saw something on the side table that made him stare.

‘Hey, what’s this? Ming Zhi?’ He took the little panda in his hand. ‘You brought her with you?’

‘I like to have her near as a reminder not to get carried away,’ Olivia said.

He raised eyebrows. ‘What happened last night?’

‘I gave her time off.’

He set Ming Zhi down again and lay back, wrapping Olivia in his arms.

‘If she’s still off-duty, perhaps I should make the most of it.’

He didn’t wait for her to answer, but covered her mouth forcefully and proceeded to ‘make the most of it’ in a way that left her no chance to argue even if she’d wanted to.

It was a riotous loving, filled with the sense of discovery that two people know when they have answered the first question and are eager to learn the others. This was an exploration, with more sense of adventure than tenderness, and when it was finished they were both gasping.

‘I need my breakfast,’ Lang said in a faint voice. He was lying flat on his back, holding her hand. ‘Then I think I’ll come back to bed.’

‘Nonsense!’ she declared in a hearty voice that made him wince. ‘When the boat makes its first stop we’re going to get out and do some sensible sight-seeing.’

‘Not me. I’m staying here.’

‘All right. You stay and I’ll go. It’ll give me a chance to get to know that very tall young man who came aboard in the same group as us.’

‘You’re a cruel woman. Help me up.’

They became conventional tourists, joining the crowds to see the sights, but always chiefly aware of each other. They were the first back on board, declaring themselves exhausted and badly in need of a siesta. Then they vanished for the rest of the afternoon.

‘What shall I wear tonight?’ she mused as they were dressing for dinner.

She held up the figure-hugging cheongsam and, to her surprise, he shook his head.

‘I thought you liked it.’

‘I do,’ he said. ‘When we’re alone. But if you think I want every other man in the place gawping at you…’

‘Fine, I’ll wear it.’

From this he could not budge her. The ensuing argument came close to being their first quarrel, but the knowledge that he was jealous was like heady wine, driving her a little crazy.

When she was dressed, he growled, ‘Don’t even look at anyone but me,’ clamping his arm around her waist to make his point.

‘I wasn’t going to,’ she assured him. ‘Unless, of course, I get up onstage.’

‘Why should you do that?’

‘They’re having a talent contest for the passengers. I thought I’d do a striptease.’

‘Try that and I’ll toss you over my shoulder and carry you off caveman-style.’

‘Mmm, is that a promise?’

‘Wait and see.’

The boat was equipped with a tiny nightclub, with a stage just big enough for modest entertainment. One by one people got up and sang out of tune, to the cheers of their friends.

‘Hey!’ A young man tapped Lang on the shoulder. ‘There’s a group of us going to sing a pop song. Want to join us?’

‘Thank you, but no,’ Lang said. ‘I can’t sing.’

‘Neither can we, but it won’t stop us. Aw, come on. Don’t you know how to have a good time?’

‘I am having a good time,’ Lang said, polite but unmoved.

The young man became belligerent. He had a good-natured, if slightly oafish face, but had drunk rather too much.

‘You don’t look it to me. It’s supposed to be a party. Come on.’

Lang made no reply but merely sat with an implacable smile on his face. At last the oaf gave up and moved away, but not before one parting shot to Olivia.

‘I feel sorry for you, luv, know what I mean? A wimp, that’s what he is.’

Olivia could have laughed out loud at such a total misreading of Lang. But she only looked the man in the eye, smiled knowingly and shook her head. He understood at once and backed off.

‘More to him than meets the eye, eh?’ he queried.

‘Much, much more,’ she said significantly.

‘Ah, well, in that case…’

He took himself off.

Lang eyed her. ‘Thank you, dragon lady, for coming to my defence.’

‘Don’t give me that. You don’t need me or anyone defending you.’

‘True, but it’s nice to know that you don’t consider me a wimp. Our vulgar friend can think what he likes.’

‘Well, you know exactly what he’s thinking.’

He grinned. ‘Yes, thanks to you he believes I’m a cross between Casanova and Romeo.’

‘He’s not the only one. Look.’

Their tormentor had joined his fellows on the stage and was whispering to them urgently, pointing in Lang’s direction.

‘Oh, no!’ Lang groaned. ‘What have you done?’

‘Given you a really impressive reputation.’ She chuckled. ‘You should be grateful to me.’

‘Grateful? Let’s get out of here.’

He hastily set down his glass, grabbed her hand and drew her away with more vigour than chivalry. By now the entire audience seemed to be in the know, and they were pursued by whistles of envy and appreciation.

Lang almost dragged her down the corridor and into their suite, where he pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely, both laughing and complaining together.

‘Olivia, you wretch! I’ll never be able to show my face again.’

‘Nonsense, you’ll be a hero.’ She chuckled, kissing him between words.

‘Come here!’

He drew her firmly down on the bed and lay on top of her, pinning her down, his eyes gleaming with enjoyment.

‘Perhaps we should discuss this,’ he said.

‘Mmm, I’d like that. But you know what?’

‘What?’ he asked with misgiving.

‘You’re acting in exactly the kind of he-man style that they’re imagining.’

‘Oh, hell!’

He rolled off her but she immediately followed until she’d rolled on top of him, thanking her lucky stars that the bed was wide enough for this kind of frolicking.

‘Now it’s my turn to be the he-man,’ she informed him.

‘I didn’t think it worked that way.’

‘It does when I do it.’

He gave her his wickedest look. ‘I’m at your mercy, dragon lady,’ he said with relish.

‘You’d better believe it.’

She began to work on his shirt buttons, opening them swiftly until she could run her hands over his chest. By the violent tremors that went through him she could tell that he loved it, but he made no move to do the same for her.

‘Are you going to just lie there?’ she demanded indignantly.

‘What else can I do? I am but a mere wimp, awaiting orders.’

‘Well,’ she said, breathing hard, ‘my orders are for you to go into action.’

‘Right!’

One swift, forceful movement was enough to demolish the front of her dress. Then she was on her back, having the rest of her clothes ripped away.

‘To hear is to obey,’ he murmured, tossing aside his own clothes and settling on top of her.

They fought it out, laughing, loving, challenging, bickering amiably, then doing it all again until they fell asleep in each other’s arms, happy and exhausted.

It was a good night.

Now and then the boat stopped and everyone went ashore for an excursion to a temple, or to view one of the famous Three Gorges dams. Lang and Olivia joined these expeditions but they were always glad to get back on board.

In the privacy of their suite they could enjoy not merely love-making but talk. To both of them it was a special joy that their pleasure in each other was not confined to passion. Huddled close, they could explore hearts and minds in sleepy content.

Olivia found herself talking about her fractured life as she’d never done before, except with Norah.

‘You said once that I was my mother’s mother, and you were right. My parents are just like a couple of kids. It can seem charming, until you see all the people they’ve let down.’

‘Mostly you,’ Lang said tenderly.

‘Yes, but there’s a queue that stretches behind me-Tony, my mother’s second husband, her step-children by that marriage, her child by Tony-my half-brother. He’s about fourteen now and beginning to realise what she’s like. He calls me sometimes for advice. I do my best, but I’ve never told him the worst she’s capable of.’

She fell silent. At last Lang said, ‘Tell me, if you can.’

‘I was about twelve. It was December and I was getting all excited about Christmas. I was staying with Norah, but Dad and I were going to Paris together. I got ready, everything packed, and waited for him. When he was late I went outside and sat on the wall, looking for his car to appear at the end of the road, but he didn’t come.

‘Norah called him, but all she got was the answer machine. We tried his mobile phone but it was switched off. I suppose I knew in my heart that he wasn’t coming, but I wouldn’t face it. At last, hours later, he called to see if I was having a great time with my mother. I said, “But I’m supposed to be with you.” Then it all came out about Evadne, his new girlfriend. She’d begged him to take her to Paris instead of me, and been very persuasive, so he’d left a message on my mother’s phone to say she’d have to have me. He seemed terribly surprised that she hadn’t turned up.’

Lang swore violently and rolled over away from her, his hands over his face. Then he rolled back and took her in his arms. ‘I will kill him,’ he muttered over and over. ‘Don’t ever let me meet your father or I will kill him. Hold onto me-hold me.’

It felt so good to embrace him, to bury her head against his shoulder and blot out everything else, as though he had it in his power to put the world right.

‘So you had to spend Christmas with your mother?’ he said at last.

‘Oh, no, she didn’t get his message until she’d left to spend Christmas with her new boyfriend-at least, she said she didn’t. So neither of them came for me and I spent Christmas with Norah.’

He seized her again and this time it was he who hid his face in her shoulder, as though her pain was unbearable to him.

‘How did you survive?’ he murmured.

‘Part of me didn’t. I learned not to trust people, especially when they talked about their feelings. I thought Andy was different, but he was just the same.’

‘Was he the only one?’

‘You mean, have I had other boyfriends? Oh, yes. I dipped my toe in the water a few times, but only my toe. I always got cautious before I went too far. It doesn’t take much to turn me back into that little girl sitting on the wall, watching for someone who never appeared. In my heart-’ she shuddered ‘-I always know that’s going to happen.’

‘Never,’ he said violently. ‘Never, do you hear me? I’m yours for life. Or at least for as long as you want me. No, don’t answer.’ He laid a swift hand over her lips. ‘You can’t promise life, not yet. I know that. But I’ll be patient. Just remember that I’m always here.’

‘Always,’ she murmured longingly.

Always? queried the voice in her head. If only.

But held in his arms she could believe in anything, and she clung to him in desperate hope.