Best Lesbian Erotica 2012

THE PRODUCE QUEEN Michelle Brennan

I have a confession to make, a dirty little secret, a skeleton to pull out of the closet. I like produce. Rather, I love produce—in fact, I might even be in love with the endless array of fresh fruits and vegetables that satiate my excitable palate every day. It’s not something I can comfortably talk about with my friends just yet. While the girls sit around the office fawning over their latest Perez Hilton–approved celebrity crush, there just doesn’t seem to be any appropriate place to put in a good word for the solid and committed cucumber I enjoyed the night before.

My heightened appreciation for fruitage began innocently enough when a lover slipped a condom-covered Clementine up my cunt and instructed me not to drop it. I swooned with sweet delight at the challenge. My clit was tortured and teased mercilessly, with taunts of what would happen were I to lose it; however, my Kegel muscles are well trained, thanks to Betty Dodson, and I managed to keep that little bulb tight in its instructed spot.

Soon after my date with Clementine Cutie Pie, I began to notice that my commute home from work was taking longer than usual. Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself at the farm stand by my office, gazing wistfully at the grapefruits and giving them a little squeeze to see how ripe they were. I’d move on to the peaches and my eyes would gleam while I tickled their fuzz, hypnotized by their intoxicating perfume, then I’d snag a few blueberries to pop in my mouth before racing home to make dinner.

My obsession with food only got worse as the weeks passed, and I could barely make a salad without some ingredient tempting me to play dirty games. On one sunny spring afternoon, I was traipsing through the farm stand when I came upon the loveliest avocado I’d ever laid eyes upon. Its ripeness was pure perfection, giving in ever so gently between my squeezing fingers. Inside that rough outer exterior was a supple, creamy, bright green center, and I could taste its guacamole. Warmth crept between my thighs as I scurried up to the cashier. There were only two people in front of me, but their sizable purchases made my foot start to tap uncontrollably, although it wasn’t their fault that I was eager to embark on a date with the most supreme avocado in the market.

On the way home, I was like a high school girl on a first date. I could wait no longer! I stopped at a dark and deserted passage covered with old graffiti tags and broken beer bottles, a safe haven for any alley dweller. On this particular day, the dwellers were dwelling elsewhere, and I wasn’t focused on anything other than what was in my brown bag, so I took a swift turn between the two tall buildings and gave my sweet avocado a little shake in its bag.

The darkness blanketed us in solitude, and I felt wet and warm between my thighs as I hid behind some Dumpsters. I bunched up my skirt and began to touch myself, playing with my clit, rubbing my sweet nectar all over my cunt, teasing myself until I could resist no more. I pulled that bright green avocado out of the brown bag it was dressed in and gave it a little shower with my bottled water. Ooh, it glimmered and gleamed, even in the shadows, and I tried to silence my own delicious squeal as I felt the small end of my sweet temptation slip right into my soaking, self-lubricated cunt. I held on to its base and let the chilly brick wall catch me as I leaned back and fucked myself. It just felt so… so… liberating to be in this alley, just me and my avo; its rough, ridged rind grinding against my G-spot when I positioned it just right, feeling my muscles squeezing, yearning to take it all in. I reached down with my free hand and circled around my clit, starting out gently and quickly adding more pressure as she grew more sensitive. Goose bumps crept up my arms, and sweat began to bead along my hairline. I could feel pressure building down between my hips, and I found a steady rhythm to ride that little pleasurable treat into a flood of orgasmic relief, weeks of tension and anticipation spilling past my produce and down the inside of my thighs.

One orgasm was good, but two would be better! I worked up the excitement in my cunt once more, thinking about that Clementine Cutie again. I could almost feel those soft hands, that menacing growl issuing explicit instructions to keep the citrus in place. The rush of heat to my ears warmed my entire body and I turned as red as the bricks holding me up. Before I knew it, nearly the whole avocado disappeared into my cunt. I dared not let go of its base, as I would not have any assistance in retrieving it were it to move past my pelvic bone. It was so good and filling, but I wanted to feel stuffed by my new toy. I withdrew the avocado, turned it around, then worked the wider base of the fruit back into my cunt. Oh, my! This side was firmer and hadn’t been warmed up yet by my cunt walls, making it a surprising and delightful addition to my pleasure. I loved the sensation of being so full, but the pressure of my cunt squeezing was starting to soften the avocado a bit. I couldn’t breathe fast enough. I pushed it in and out, moving quickly, working up small moans that echoed against the buildings. The terror of getting caught rode through my brain, and it made my cunt swell with anticipation and excitement. I could feel my cunt making that sweet, creamy inside softer. I was in love with this avocado, as I crept over the edge to erupt with an orgasm that far surpassed the first one, and I could feel sweet honey cum dripping down the inside of my legs.

My bottom lip hurt, and I realized I had been biting down on it, trying to keep quiet. My breaths slowed as I slowly released the avocado from between my legs, rinsed it off again, and sighed. I took a swig of water, regained my balance and ran to catch the bus.

It had definitely been the best appetizer I’d ever enjoyed, and I looked forward to a delicious dinner later that night.