Blue Velvet

Ten

"I forgot to give this back to you," Kate said quietly, extending the ring to Daniel. "It was very kind of you to lend it to us."

Daniel's large hand closed on the ring and thrust it carelessly on his finger. "I thought so." He grinned. "I've never been a best man before. Actually, the entire business was less embarrassing than I thought it would be." He leaned back and stretched his bare powerful legs as far as was possible in the confines of the back seat of a taxi. "Toward the end of the ceremony I was beginning to feel so solemn and upright it was positively nauseating. I wouldn't want to do it too often, however, or I'd probably become just as boringly responsible as Beau's getting."

Kate was staring blindly out the window of the taxi. Responsible. The word cut with the sharpness of a scimitar. Not love or even desire, responsibility. "No, you wouldn't want to do that," she said drearily. "Beau has enough of that particular virtue for all of us." She could feel Daniel's gaze on her profile sharpen and tried to rouse herself. "Where are we going? I'm afraid I didn't pay any attention to what you told the driver when we got into the cab."

"The village. It's a very exclusive resort on the other side of the island. According to Carruthers, besides the central hotel it has a number of private bungalows situated on the beach. Beau told me to take you there and get you settled while he went to see your friend Brenden and tried to get a line on your birth records. He said to tell you he'd make arrangements for you to see Brenden and Rodriguez tomorrow. In the meantime he thought you might want to replenish your wardrobe at the shops in the main hotel. He made a call and arranged for them to bill the Lantry conglomerate for anything you decided you wanted."

"How very generous of him," Kate said ironically. But then she'd known he'd be generous, at least monetarily. She only wished that generosity could have been more emotional than financial. No, she wasn't being fair. He'd shown her tenderness, laughter, passion, everything but love. It wasn't his fault he didn't have that to give her. Just as it wasn't her fault she couldn't accept the pity he offered in its place. "I won't need very much. Just a few changes of clothes."

She must be careful not to buy too much. Those shops would probably be exorbitantly expensive and it would take forever to pay Beau back after she left him. That she would leave him wasn't even in question. It was inevitable, and it must be soon. Very soon. She had to escape so she could begin to heal.

"Don't be too modest in your demands." Daniel's eyes were twinkling. "You're a married woman now. There's such a thing as community property, you know."

"If you mean to imply Beau owes me something just because of that ceremony we went through, that's utterly ridiculous," Kate said tautly. "Beau said that too. Nothing's changed just because of a few words that were spoken over us. I'm still me, with my own obligations and duties. And Beau" -her voice was becoming maddeningly husky- "Beau is still Beau." Golden-eyed recklessness, strength, and tenderness. Beau.

There was a moment of silence. "I think I detect a note of discord in honeymoon heaven," Daniel said slowly. "I noticed Beau was a little uptight but I thought it was because he was impatient with all that red tape he's having to unwind. Dealing with bureaucratic types isn't his favorite pastime." He paused. "But it's more than that, isn't it?"

She kept her eyes firmly fixed on the window. "Yes, it's more than that." She tried to smile. "I'm afraid your ordeal was all for nothing, Daniel. This is one marriage that was over before it started."

"Uh-uh." The negative was so firm it brought her startled gaze back to his face. "I detest wasted effort. It's a little idiosyncrasy of mine. After I compromised my image so drastically there's no way I'm going to let you untie the knot without good reason." His voice softened. "I saw your face after Beau had put my ring on your finger. You were glowing like a Sedikhan sunrise."

"That has nothing to do with it," she said shakily. "You heard Beau. It was only a convenience to get me past Immigration."

"A marriage of convenience?" Daniel scoffed. "Not likely, Kate. They went out with jousts and suits of armor. Beau wouldn't be involved with an idiocy like that."

"You obviously don't know him as well as you think you do." Her smile was sadly sweet. "That's exactly the kind of idiocy that Beau would become involved with. He's out to save the poor little orphan at any cost. He married me because he thought that was the only way I'd let him take care of me." She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay. "Well, he was wrong. He should have known that blasted ceremony wouldn't make any difference."

"Oh, Lord!" Daniel groaned, closing his eyes. "Maybe Beau's an idiot after all. He certainly seems to be guilty of a remarkable lack of communication…" His lids flicked open and there was a glint of determination in their depths. "Okay, it's obviously up to old parson Daniel to clear the decks."

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips at the outrageously inept comparison. "I appreciate your wanting to help, but it's not your concern, Daniel." Those blasted tears were welling again. "There's nothing anyone can do."

"You're going to cry," Daniel accused with exasperation. "Now I'm going to have a wishy-washy prima donna on my hands."

"I'm not going to cry," she said indignantly. "And I'm not wishy-washy."

"I didn't think you were, but I'm beginning to change my mind. Whatever happened to the girl who broke me out of the Black Dragon Inn? I might have criticized your impulsiveness but not your lack of determination." He shook his head in disgust. "You and Beau are quite a pair."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked fiercely. "I can't make Beau love me and I don't want his damn pity."

"Pity!" He shook his head. "Muddle-headed as well as wishy-washy. Look, Kate, men don't marry because they feel sorry for a woman. Hell, I never thought I'd see the day when Beau would marry at all. Didn't it occur to you it would take something pretty monumental to make Beau give up his freedom after all these years?"

"I told you why he did it. He felt sorry-"

"Bull," Daniel interrupted. "He's crazy about you. I've never seen a man so besotted in my life."

"He wants me," she corrected huskily. "I would have settled for that. I know it's more difficult for men to love than it is for women." She lifted her chin. "But I won't accept any relationship where I can't at least stand upon equal terms."

"Equal terms," Daniel repeated. "Yet you clearly don't have any conception of equality in the man-woman relationship itself. Where the devil did you get the idea men were shortchanged in the emotional department?"

"But Jeffrey and Julio always-"

"All men aren't Jeffrey and Julio." Daniel was definitely annoyed. "I'd match my emotional sensitivity against yours any day. Beau loves you, damn it."

She shook her head. "He never said he loved me. He promised me everything else, but not that."

"Are declarations so important? Maybe Beau has trouble saying those words. How do I know?" He shrugged. "All I know is what I saw in his face that night he thought the Guardia had killed you. And it sure as hell wasn't pity, Kate."

"It wasn't?" Oh, God, he was probably mistaken. It was too wonderful to be true. But what if he wasn't? What if Beau actually loved her? "You're sure, Daniel?"

She sounded like an uncertain little girl and the hardness softened and then faded entirely from Daniel's face. His large hand covered hers. "I'm sure," he said gently. "I don't see how you could be so blind you couldn't see it for yourself. How many men would get themselves embroiled in the kind of brouhahas you've been inciting all over the Caribbean for someone they just felt sorry for?" He grinned. "It should have been a dead giveaway when he jumped into the sea and paddled after you like your faithful dog Tray."

"He loves me?" she whispered, her eyes aglow with wonder.

"He loves you," Daniel repeated firmly. "Perhaps it's not surprising the two of you are having trouble communicating. You were both cannoned into a relationship as if you were shot from a howitzer. You haven't had a chance to learn each other."

No, only to love each other. But if Daniel was right, they would have all the time in the world now for that other learning process. If he was right. She frowned anxiously. "It doesn't make sense. Why would he want to send me away if he loves me?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Daniel asked. "And when you do, remember you're dealing from strength. You impress me as a lady who's more than capable of getting things done once you set your mind on something. Do you want this marriage to work?"

"Yes. Oh yes," she said softly.

"Then I suggest you set about assuring that it will." He winked. "Just pretend that Beau is a cocaine cache to be snatched or an imprisoned crew to be rescued. That should make it a piece of cake."

Her hand tightened on his. "I'll do that." She would just take a deep breath and do what had to be done in this most important venture of her life. "Will you be there to give me a little moral support?"

He shook his head. "You don't need me. I'd just be in the way." He looked down at the gold ring on his finger. "Besides, I have a few loose ends to wind up before I go back to Sedikhan."

"You're definitely returning to your very dangerous Mr. Donahue then?" she asked lightly "Why not? I have an idea Beau is going to turn into a very boring solid citizen. That will take all the fun out of being captain of the Searcher." His smile was a little whimsical. "Remember I told you we were both searching for something? I've found what I was looking for."

"Everything you were searching for?" she probed gently.

For an instant there was a flicker of something lost and vulnerable in the depths of those snapping navy blue eyes. "Perhaps not everything, but for now it will have to be enough." Then that vulnerability was gone and he grinned. "Well, at least Beau has found it all. Now all you have to do is get him to admit it."

It sounded so easy. She moistened her lips nervously as she thought just how important that confrontation to come was going to be. Oh, please, let Daniel be right. Please let her be able to make Beau say the words of commitment that would keep them together for the rest of their lives. No, she mustn't let herself have any doubts. She lifted her chin valiantly. "No problem. As you said, it will be a piece of cake."

The sun was going down in an explosion of glorious color, appearing to drain the sea of its own richness in contrast. On this deserted sand dune where she was standing Kate could feel the breeze, warm and soft touching her cheeks. That was also a contrast for there was nothing soft and warm in the violent beauty of the sunset. It bathed the white sand dunes in a fiery glow, and even the towering modernistic hotel in the distance appeared as a blazing sword against the horizon.

Sword. That brought back the memory of the intricately carved sword piercing the rose in Daniel's exotic ring. Magic. She must believe with all her heart in that magic now.

"What the devil are you doing this far from the hotel?" Beau's rough voice behind her made her heart leap. "A lone woman on a deserted beach is an open invitation."

She turned to face him. The fiery glare turned his bronze face to teak and lent the texture of his black jeans and shirt an illusion of velvetlike depth. "I see you got the note I left at the bungalow. That's exactly what I wanted to convey," she said lightly. "An invitation."

"That's fairly obvious." The roughness of his voice deepened to huskiness as his gaze wandered over her lingeringly. Lord, she was beautiful. The loose white silky beach dress she was wearing reminded him vaguely of the caftan she'd worn that night in the rain forest except for the low cut of the square neckline. Her throat looked graceful and infinitely vulnerable as it rose from the gown and her face was lit with a glowing eagerness that caused his throat to tighten helplessly. So sweet. He glanced away hurriedly. "You've been shopping."

"I've spent a great deal of your money." She stepped deliberately closer and into his line of vision. "And I have no intention of paying it back. Daniel says it's all community property." She smiled. "Did you know community means companionship and mutual sharing? I looked it up when I got to the hotel. I like that idea very much."

There was a flicker of surprise in Beau's eyes. "I don't want you to pay it back," he said gruffly. "I told you on the ship you have a claim on me now. I'm glad you're being so sensible. Does this mean you're not going to put up a fight about going to Briarcliff?"

"I have no intention of objecting to going anywhere you want me to go." She paused deliberately. "I told you how much I loved words. There are some very beautiful ones in the Bible that express how I feel about that. 'Entreat me not to leave you and to return from following after you, for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God; where you die, I will die and there will I be buried.' "

She met his eyes with a simple directness that caused his heart to turn over in his breast. "I mean every word, Beau. Ill go anywhere, be anything you want me to be as long as we do it together." She smiled faintly as she repeated softly. "Always together. Go with me to Briarcliff and stay by my side and you'll have no trouble keeping me there."

"Kate…"He took an impulsive step toward her with an instinct as old as the words she'd just quoted. Then he stepped back and his arms fell helplessly to his sides without touching her. "I told you I'd be there to keep an eye on you."

"So avuncular?" She shook her head. "That's not good enough. Beau. I want a husband, not a guardian."

"You don't know what you want" he said, his expression strained and taut, "Your head's full of dreams of Romeo and Juliet and the world well lost for love. And I sure as hell didn't make it any easier by taking you to bed and giving you your first taste of sex. There are things you deserve, things you need and it's not fair to let you think I'm the only one who can give them to you. I hope when you've gained a little experience you'll still want me but…"He trailed off, running his hand distractedly through his bronze hair. "Lord, I hope that, Kate!"

"I will," she said softly. "There's not going to be a moment for the rest of my life when I won't want you." Then as he opened his lips to speak, she held up her hand. "Don't say it. I do know, blast it. I don't deny I have certain ideals and dreams. Everyone has dreams. That doesn't mean I'm some kind of Peter Pan existing in Never Never Land. I've lived a rough, hard life, Beau. If I don't know the difference between reality and fantasy now, I never will."

"It's because you've had such a hard life that I shouldn't take advantage of you." Beau's lips were set in a stubborn line. "We'll do it my way, Kate."

"I don't think so." There was a hint of steel beneath the sweetness in her voice. "This is too important for me to give in to your idiotic sense of chivalry."

"Chivalry!"

He sounded so outraged that she had to smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you but I'm afraid you're terribly prone to that hopelessly outmoded code. The signs are unmistakable to someone who's spent most of her childhood with a man who steered his life by dreams and concepts from another age. You're the one who lives in Never Never Land. When I asked Daniel why you were sending me away, he said to ask you." She shook her head. "But I don't have to do that. I've been doing quite a bit of thinking and I realized I may not know a good deal about your mental processes, but I do know that you're far worse than any Lancelot or Galahad." She wrinkled her nose impishly at him. "You're even worse than Ashley Wilkes."

"Now that's an arrant falsehood," Beau said. There was a flicker of amusement in the depths of his eyes. "I won't let you malign me in that fashion, Kate."

"Ill take back Wilkes," she granted. "But the rest is carved in stone. You're a throwback, Beau. Jeffrey was avant-garde in comparison. Well, you can just practice throwing your cloak on someone else's mud puddles. I can take care of myself."

Beau's golden eyes were suddenly glowing with mischief. "Then can I talk you into tossing your cloak on my puddle? I've developed a violent aversion to bodies of water of any description lately.

"Any time." She smiled with loving sweetness. Her cloak, her body, her heart. "Just say the word."

"I wish you wouldn't look at me like that," he said with a rueful shake of his head. "It makes me feel very strange."

"Good," she said. "I want you to feel strange and off balance. It makes my position that much stronger. Not that I need it. Daniel says I'm dealing from strength."

"Daniel seems to have had quite a bit to say. I'm curious to know what he considered your, ace in the hole."

She took a deep breath. "The fact that you love me," she said in a little rush.

There was a flicker of undefinable emotion in Beau's face. "Do I?"

She nodded. "Yes, Daniel says you do. And I've decided he's right. You do love me, Beau." Her lips were trembling as she tried to smile. "Do you know why I'm so sure?"

"No." His eyes were fixed compulsively on her face.

"Because there's no way I could love you this much and not be loved even a little bit in return," she said haltingly. "I feel so close to you I think I'd know it if you were rejecting me either consciously or subconsciously." She made a helpless little gesture with one hand. "I'd know. Beau."

"You've known me for only a few days," Beau said hoarsely. "I was your first lover. You can't be sure you love me. Six months from now there may be someone else."

"My first lover, my last lover, my only lover." Her eyes were glowing softly. "Sometimes it must happen like that. First the loving and then the learning. Perhaps it's better that way. Just think of everything we have to look forward to experiencing together." She took a step closer and her hands reached up to cradle his cheeks in her palms. "Say it, Beau."

"No, it's not fair." His face was harsh with strain. "I won't use that kind of bribery on you, Kate."

"Bribery?" she repeated, startled.

"Love can be used as bribery." His lips twisted bitterly. "Believe me, I know. I can't tell you how many times I've had sundry uncles, aunts, and cousins dangle that carrot in front of my nose. 'We love you, Beau. Tell the nice judge you want to stay with us,' or, 'We love you but we do need all that lovely money so we can be comfortable, don't we?' Some people seem to think that saying those words gives them the right to demand almost anything in return." He shrugged wearily. "Hell, sometimes it nearly worked. I wanted to belong somewhere so badly that I came pretty close to believing one or two of them." His eyes were grave. "I won't use those tactics on you, Kate. You don't owe me anything."

She felt a rush of joy. He did love her! Now only the last shadows of the past were left to be cleared away and to do that she had to make him say the words. "You're not Uncle George, Beau, and I'm certainly not a little boy desperately wanting a family. I'm a woman who loves you." She frowned. "Or maybe you think I'm trying to use that same kind of pressure on you."

"No, of course not," he denied quickly. "I know you wouldn't ever-" He broke off as he met her quiet smile of satisfaction. "It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it? I think it is. Something very wonderful and special has happened to us and the past has nothing to do with it. I'm not letting my background interfere and neither should you, Beau. I don't want you to be chivalrous or even be what you deem as 'fair' to me. All I want is for you to love me. The rest will take care of itself." Her hands slipped from the planes of his cheeks to his shoulders to give him a gentle shake. "Please say it, Beau."

"I'm not chivalrous, damn it," he said harshly. "If I was chivalrous do you think I'd have married you? I knew our marriage wouldn't have too much influence on the immigration red tape we'd have to go through. I didn't even do it to force you to accept my help as I told you. I was just so damn afraid of losing you I had to tie you to me any way I could. I was freeing you with one hand and binding you with ropes of steel with the other. I wanted an excuse to hang around and watch over you, be with you." His lips tightened. "I think you would have found that any potential male threat to my cause would have mysteriously disappeared. I wouldn't have been able to help myself." He laughed mirthlessly. "Some Galahad!"

"Well, I'm glad to see you're not completely noble," she said, her eyes twinkling. "I'll be much more comfortable with the Beau I've come to know in the last few days. Can't you fall just a little further from the pedestal?" she coaxed softly. "Come on, bribe me a little. Say you love me."

"Kate, you're tearing me apart." His voice was shaking. "I'm trying to do what's best for you."

"You're a very stubborn man." She sighed. "You're what's best for me." She suddenly fell to her knees in the sand, the silky white gown billowing gracefully about her. She reached for his hand and tugged it imperiously. "Come down here."

He obediently fell to his knees facing her, his expression wary. "You're not thinking of seducing me again?"

"It's not a bad idea," she said with a cheeky grin. "But I don't want you quibbling later about undue influence. There'll be another time and place for that." She took his other hand in hers. "Now it's time for vows."

"Vows?" His expression became even more wary.

"My vows." She smiled lovingly at him. "You caught me off guard during the ceremony on deck, but I'm ready now. I think they'll be as valid said here with just the two of us as if we had all those witnesses."

"Kate-"

"Shhh, it's my turn." Her hands tightened on his as she gazed directly into his eyes. "You say you've found honesty and generosity in me. I hope it's true, for I've found both of those qualities in you. I've also found humor and kindness, courage and understanding. You warm me like the sun, and when I'm with you I want to stretch out my arms and my heart and the spirit within that they call the soul." Her voice was soft but vibrantly alive. "For the rest of my life I'll give you what you want and need from me. I'll protect and guard, grow with you and beside you, hold your hand in comfort and your body in passion." She paused. "And I will love you until the day I die, Beau Lantry."

The soft breeze was lifting the curls at her temple and she was gazing at him with those clear loving eyes that didn't know how to lie. He could feel something deep inside him melt and ebb away and knew whatever it was, it would never return. He didn't know how they came together, but suddenly she was in his arms. "Oh, Lord, I do love you, Kate." His voice was a broken murmur and the cheek he pressed to hers was damp with tears. "I do. I do!"

"I know you do." Her tone was almost a maternal croon. "And it will be better now, you'll see." She kissed him gently, her hand stroking the hair back from his face. "I don't want you to be strong for me, just with me. If you want to give me all those things, I won't argue with you. I'll accept them gladly, but you've got to accept my gifts as well. For the rest of our lives we'll be giving each other all we have to give. It will be beautiful, Beau."

"Yes, beautiful." His voice was still husky but he didn't try to hide it. "You're very sure, Kate? You wouldn't want to try it my way for a few months?" His lips twisted. "I don't think there's any way I could let you have complete freedom now but I'd try to stay in the background as much as possible."

"And make us both miserable?" She shook her head. "No way. I intend to enjoy my honeymoon."

"I'll see that you do." His arms tightened and he buried his lips in the curls at her temple. "I want to give you so much pleasure, Kate. I want to give you everything, be everything to you. I'd like to be your father and your brother, your friend and your lover." He tilted her chin to look into her eyes. "It seems that my entire life has been like that little carousel of yours, one long dizzy ride with the brass ring just out of reach. Now it's here, shining bright and true and it's mine."

The sun was almost down now and the rosy haze had turned to a mellow gold that touched everything with a clear radiance. Beau's eyes were golden now, too, and shining with the love he'd just admitted. It was too much. She buried her face in his shoulder once again. She tried to steady her voice into lightness. "So what now? Do we set sail on the Searcher and try to find Atlantis?"

His hand was gently stroking her hair. "I've been searching for Atlantis all my life, I think," he said quietly. "It's all a part of the carousel syndrome. No, I think we'll go to Briarcliff and visit Dany and Anthony. Then we'll go searching for something much more valuable."

"And what is that?"

"Purpose," he said slowly. "I'm beginning to think it may be the ultimate treasure." His lips brushed her temple. "After my Kate, of course."

"Of course," she said teasingly. "That does sound a terribly ponderous goal for a playboy with the instincts of a privateer. Daniel warned me that life around you might be a trifle boring from nowon."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about any attacks of ennui. I’ll guarantee to keep interested." He chuckled with sudden mischievousness. "Besides, you shouldn't be so critical when my return to the straight and narrow is entirely your fault."

"My fault? I told you I didn't have the right to ask-"

"Your fault," Beau repeated. He kissed her lovingly on the lips, "How could the vagabond lifestyle of even the most determined pirate possibly survive when his lady is a combination of Xanthippe and the Queen of Sheba?"