Blue Velvet

Six

The first gray light of dawn was filtering through the glossy green of the leaves above her and she shivered unconsciously and drew closer to Beau's comforting warmth. And he was warm, she thought drowsily, warm and hard and yet…

She opened her eyes to see his face only inches from her own and felt a queer tugging at her heart. He looked so vulnerable with all the cynicism and mockery banished by sleep. His long lashes were tipped with gold at the ends. She hadn't realized that, and his bronze hair had those same golden streaks woven through its darkness. He was so beautiful. She reached up with a careful finger to touch one of those lashes casting shadows on the hard plane of his cheek. The lash fluttered and she jerked her finger away quickly. She didn't want to wake him. When he was awake he would assume once more all the armor he used to guard himself from the world. When he was asleep, she could pretend that he belonged to her; awake such fantasizing about him was hard to sustain. The sadness of the thought served to jolt her out of her lovely dreamy euphoria.

Of course, he didn't belong to her. A night of passion meant nothing to a man. She should know that by now. Julio and Jeffrey had been prime examples of that philosophy and the other men she'd been exposed to over the years had been just the same. However special last night had been to her, she mustn't expect the same response from Beau. They were almost strangers and he might be equally tender and loving to any woman who'd given him sexual pleasure. How did she know? How did she know anything about the way he thought or felt?

She began to edge away, careful not to wake him. She felt a sudden desire to put up a few defenses of her own. She was the vulnerable one, not Beau. Not only by the nature of their bargain, but by her love for him. Last night, try as she might, she'd been unable to keep that knowledge at bay. She loved him and for her that emotion was synonymous with commitment. A commitment with Beau was very dangerous but she had no choice now. She only knew one way to love and the affection she felt for Jeffrey and Julio seemed minute in comparison.

With the utmost care she slid off the mattress and stood up. She gathered a few towels from the chest and snatched her white caftan from the floor beside the mattress. Then she let herself quietly out the door.

Thirty minutes later she'd bathed in the pool and was stretched out on her towel on the mossy bank basking in the early morning sunshine. Even this early the tropical rays were direct and hot on her naked flesh but she wasn't tempted to take shelter under the overhanging trees or in the cold clear pool. It was pure sensual bliss to feel that marvelous heat soaking into her bones. She'd always loved the sun. How did people exist in frigid climates where ice and snow were the norm?

Ice. Beau had spent years on the ice as a vocation. Strange to think of that. Beau seemed to be meant for the sun just as she was. Golden eyes, golden skin, and that easy golden charm. Well, maybe not so easy, she thought drowsily, there had been moments when he'd displayed a complexity and harshness that had surprised and bewildered her. In fact, those moments had been quite frequent in their short acquaintance. It was just difficult to remember them when his half-tender, half-savage lovemaking was still so fresh in her memory. A golden memory too…

The deft hands parting her thighs were strong and gentle and very familiar. Beau. A happy smile curved her lips, though she didn't bother to open her eyes. It seemed far too much trouble and it was so pleasant just lying here, letting the powerful sun pour down upon her and Beau flow into her with one slow easy stroke. Once joined he seemed content and was still. She could feel his hands slowly stroking her curls before moving down to caress with gossamer gentleness her shoulders and breasts and the soft flesh of her belly. The sun was hot upon her, his hands gently caressing her and his manhood both hotly passionate and warmly affectionate within her. She'd never imagined the two could exist side by side and she opened her eyes to tell him so.

His face was heavy and intent above her and his lips beautifully sensual as he began to flex slowly, almost lazily, within her.

"Beau."

"Shhh," he said huskily. "Don't speak. You look like a lovely sacrifice to Ra in the sunlight. I couldn't resist coming into you and accepting in his place. Just relax and let me play. We have all the time in the world and I love to feel the heat of you around me."

His hands were drifting lightly over her, touching, caressing, and touching again. Not demanding, just grasping and then releasing much as he might delicately stroke the feathers of a bird before releasing it to let it fly away. His rhythm within her had the same delicacy and possessiveness and her lashes drifted shut once more.

"That's right, Kate." Beau's murmur was velvet soft. "I told you I wanted to flow over you like golden rain. Just let me warm and fulfill you." His fingers were between her thighs skillfully searching and caressing and suddenly she inhaled sharply, her lashes flying open.

"Like that?" Beau smiled lazily down at her. "I thought you would. I love to hear you gasp and look at me all wide-eyed like a little girl who's just been given a present." He suddenly thrust forward, touching, teasing, filling, and she was abruptly no longer even a little hit drowsy.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're not warming me now, Beau." Her voice was a trifle breathless. "You're burning."

"That's the risk you run when you lie naked in the sun," he said thickly, his hands sliding around to cup her buttocks so as to bring himself deeper into that heat that was now turning molten for both of them. "But I'll try to make this particular burn as pleasurable as possible."

She found he was a man of his word. Burn her he did, but it was with a flame so exquisite ft would have been pure agony to quench it. It was strangely unreal to be lying here in this little circle of brilliant sunlight in the lush dusky greenness of the rain forest. It was as if the two of them were enveloped in a spotlight that was ambivalently both starkly revealing and blurred to a dreamlike haze.

Heat without, heat within. Silence except for the sound of Beau's harsh uneven breathing and her own occasional gasp and murmur of satisfaction and delight, the scent of soap, musk, and the earth beneath them. Heat without, burning within. Beau's golden eyes narrowed intently on her face, his hips moving with smooth explosive power, the patches of sky through the trees, not midnight but sapphire velvet now. Burning without, burning within. Beau's hands lifting, her own cry, almost a sob, the deepening, the power, the burning. Oh, dear heaven, the sweet heady burning! Within, without, surrounding, consuming. The burning!

Beau was collapsed upon her, his chest laboring as if he were starved for oxygen. His hands on her hips were still sealing her to him as if unwilling to relinquish possession as he had passion. She found her hands on his shoulders grasping him with that same desperation. Not yet. Let it go on. Beauty always faded so swiftly. Just this time, let it go on.

"I'm too heavy for you." He was shifting and rolling off her, his breathing coming in gasps. "Lord, I'm sorry, Kate. I must have nearly crushed you."

"If you did, I didn't notice," Kate said lightly. She nestled closer, her fingers curling in the springy thatch of hair on his chest. Her lashes demurely veiled the sudden mischief in her eyes. "But then, I was otherwise occupied."

He chuckled. "But not productively, I trust." His grin gradually faded. That unthinking remark had struck too close to home to be considered amusing. He'd been indulging in light sophisticated badinage as if she were just any woman. But she wasn't just any woman, this was Kate and must be protected and cared for. A task he hadn't been doing with any degree of success lately, he thought grimly. He sat up and then slipped from the bank into the icy water. "I think I feel the need for a cold swim," he said tersely. "It would have probably been a better idea if I'd taken it first." He struck out with brisk strokes toward the center of the pool.

Kate sat up, gazing after him in bewilderment. It was clear that Beau was upset, but the change from laughter to grimness had been so abrupt that it was difficult to comprehend. What had upset him so much? Then she experienced an icy chill that was worse than Beau had felt when he'd slipped into the pool. Pregnancy. Beau was afraid she might become pregnant and hold him responsible. It was the only explanation for his sudden withdrawal and then almost harsh rejection.

She slipped off the bank scarcely noticing the coldness of the water on her sun-warmed skin. She hadn't even considered the consequences of their lovemaking before, but it wouldn't have upset her unduly if she had. Illegitimacy didn't necessarily mean being unloved as she had been. If she did become pregnant she would be sure her child was nurtured and surrounded by love. She mustn't feel hurt at Beau's reaction to the idea of her having his child. Perhaps he didn't know her well enough. to realize that she wouldn't expect any support or help from him if that came to pass. Still, the soul-chilling depression remained and she suddenly didn't want to face Beau until the memory of that curt rejection faded a little.

She levered herself onto the bank and dried off briskly and put on the white caftan. She didn't look back as she walked swiftly down the path toward the tree house.

She was already dressed in her customary blue jeans and was buttoning up a soft white cotton shirt when Beau strode through the door. He'd slipped on his cutoff blue jeans that were still wet and obviously freshly laundered. He was frowning moodily as he shut the door. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were leaving? I looked away for a minute and when I looked back you were gone."

"I didn't see any reason in staying around," she said quietly, rolling up the long sleeves of the shirt to elbow length. "It was time I got dressed anyway and there wasn't any need to disturb you." She ran her fingers carelessly through her damp curls. "I won't be gone long. I'm afraid there's nothing much to do here. All my books are in the other chest if you'd like to glance through them. If you're hungry, there's a tin of canned ham and some bottled orange juice in there as well.''

"Gone," he echoed blankly, his eyes darkening stormily. "And may I ask where you think you're going without me?"

"I have to go check the plane. There's no use both of us going. The glade is only a short distance from here and I should be back in less than an hour."

The cool logic of her argument appeared not to faze him at all. "We should be back in an hour," he said grimly. "I thought I made it clear that we were a team now."

She avoided his eyes as she thrust her feet into tennis shoes and then knelt to tie them. "There's nothing really clear between us, is there? And you certainly shouldn't feel any responsibility for me." She stood up and her eyes met his steadily. "I can take care of myself. I have for a number of years and there's no reason for me to stop now." She paused meaningfully. "No reason at all." Her eyes widened in surprise as he muttered a curse. Now what was he upset about? She'd thought he'd be relieved to know she wouldn't be a problem to him. Perhaps he still didn't understand. "We had a bargain. Whatever happens I'll accept it as part of it."

"For God's sake, shut up!" he bit out. "That idiotic bargain has nothing to do with us. Not anymore. What kind of man do you think I am? The woman I made that bargain with never really existed. You've been a damn victim all your life and if you think I'm going to continue the trend you're out of your mind." He ran his fingers distractedly through his hair and a sun-streaked lock fell carelessly over his forehead. "And now you're hinting that if you were to have my child, I should just turn and walk away and forget you. Quite the little martyr. Too bad your rain forest doesn't have a lion or two I could throw you to."

"There's no reason for you to get so upset. I just wanted you to know how I felt."

"I'm damn well aware how you feel. You're so used to coming last and letting everyone impose on you that you expect me to do the same." His lips tightened. "Well, I'm not about to satisfy any masochistic tendencies you might be harboring. I'm going to take care of you whether you like it or not." He drew a deep breath. "I know it may be too late to prevent you from becoming pregnant, but I'll do my damnedest to keep my hands off you from now on."

She felt a pain so fierce it made her a little ill.

That's not necessary," she said numbly. "We made a bar-"

"Screw the bargain," he said roughly. "Will you listen to me? There isn't any bargain and last night and this morning didn't exist. When I get you off this island, I'm going to take you back to the States and establish you in Connecticut with two friends of mine. Dany and Anthony will take good care of you." He frowned thoughtfully. "I'll hire a tutor for you until you're ready to enter college and then we'll choose one close enough so that you can come home weekends. You'll like Briarcliff and Dany will make you very welcome."

"Dany?" Kate asked bewilderedly.

"Dany Malik, an old friend. I coached her for six years before she won the gold medal for figure skating at the Calgary Olympics two years ago."

"That's the old friend you mentioned being in bondage to," Kate said slowly, feeling a twinge of jealousy. "You must have cared for her very much."

"She and Anthony are my best friends," he said simply. "And they'll take excellent care of you. Dany and Anthony are on tour with the ice show only a few months out of every year and the rest of the time they stay at Briarcliff. It's just the kind of stable lifestyle that you need."

"Wait a minute." She held up her hand. "I can't take all this in. Where are you going to be in this grand scheme of things?"

"I'll be around," he said evasively. "At least until we make sure you're-"

"Not pregnant," she supplied crisply. "How very kind of you." She folded her arms across her chest to still their trembling. "I suppose I should be grateful for your generosity. I hope you'll forgive me if I'm not. I don't need either your kindness or your generosity. I don't need anything from you." She crossed the room and tried to pass by him on her way to the door. "Now that we understand each other I'd like to-"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. "We don't understand each other and you're not leaving here until we do. I've seen too much of that kind of insanity in relationships to let it happen to me." His eyes were blazing into hers. "Okay, I'm not going to stick around once I set you up at Briarcliff. Do you have any idea of how much I want you? I want to touch, fondle, enter-and not necessarily in that order, as I proved down at the pool. I told you I wasn't a boy, but I've been acting like one. How long do you think I'd be able to restrain myself from dragging you to the nearest motel every weekend if I stayed within reaching distance?" He dragged her closer and jutted his hips forward so that she could feel his bold arousal. "For Pete's sake, look at me now! I've just told you I wouldn't touch you and it wouldn't take more than a nod of your head to make me throw you down on that mattress and take up where we left off forty-five minutes ago. I want you too damn much to act the platonic friend and it's not fair to you to be anything else."

"No? It appears much fairer than the arrangement you're suggesting," she said, meeting his eyes directly. "And the only one I'm likely to accept. At least I wouldn't be a charity child nibbling at the crumbs from your table. I'd be giving you something you want for your money." Her smile was bittersweet. "Another bargain, not so unlike the first one, except that you've already sampled the merchandise."

His hands tightened on her shoulders. "Will you be quiet?" he grated out through clenched teeth. "You make yourself sound like some kind of prostitute. I'm not setting you up as my weekend mistress because you're too independent to accept help any other way."

"You're quite right you're not," she said clearly. "But only because I choose not to be. The disposition of my life is my affair and not yours." She pulled away from him. "You have it all planned down to the last detail. College, your stable lifestyle, your very helpful friends. Did it ever occur to you to consult me? I would love going to school. Learning new things is exciting and it would be heaven to be surrounded by all those lovely books." She lifted her chin proudly. "But I'm not as ignorant as you seem to think. I may not have had a formal education, but I've worked and studied just the same."

"I know that," he said gruffly. Oh, Lord, now he'd hurt her. Why wouldn't the words come out right? You're probably better informed than ninety-five percent of the college graduates I've met. But that's not all there is to the educational process. There are dances and football games and lectures and- He stopped helplessly. How could he convince her when he'd never given a damn about all that stuff himself? But maybe she would. She deserved at least the chance to sample the social side of life. It was his duty to supply that sample. Duty. Lord, he hadn't thought about responsibility and duty since he'd left Dany and Anthony two years ago. Strange, it wasn't as unpleasant as he'd thought it would be. Not when that duty involved Kate. In time he might even come to enjoy it.

She was gazing at him uncomprehendingly. Dances, football games? It was as if he were speaking a foreign language. What did those things have to do with her? She wasn't a child to be offered amusements such as those. Well, it was evident that Beau thought of her in those terms. She obviously hadn't been far off the mark when she'd described herself as a charity child. Lust may have been an element in Beau's feeling for her but pity was obviously paramount. She felt a slow burning resentment not unmixed with hurt. She could have tolerated any attitude more easily than that.

"No, thank you," she said dully, her voice as precise as a polite little girl's. "I'm sure that sort of life wouldn't appeal to me."

"How do you know until you've tried it?" he asked roughly. "There's a whole world of experiences out there just waiting for you. You're like a blank blackboard that's never been written upon."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this particular blackboard has been written on before. I haven't lived in a convent, you know. In some ways I may have been limited but in others I'll match you experience for experience." She was opening the door and turning to look at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright with tears. "No deal, Beau. You'll just have to find some other charity to patronize." Then she was out the door and climbing lithely down the ladder.

She heard him on the platform above her but she didn't stop at his bellowed, "Kate!"

She'd had enough to contend with for the moment, perhaps forever. She would not cry in front of him. It would only substantiate the image he had of her as being some sort of waif to be rescued from a life of crime. She was neither a victim nor an object of pity, damn it.

He was starting down the ladder after her, but she'd almost reached the ground. By the time he reached the bottom of the ladder she'd already faded into the forest.