Breaking Free

Chapter Eight

On Thursday, Beth slid out of her Toyota and rested her hands on the truck hood, fighting against the urge to flee. But, hey, she was getting better at ignoring her fears. She’d made it here, hadn’t she? And really, she did want to be here. With Nolan…Master Nolan…Sir…her master.

Saying his various names and titles sent odd emotions prickling through her, making her chest feel funny. There was something between them, at least on her part, something more than just a master/sub relationship. She could easily grow…fond…of him.

She shook her head and stomped on that thought. She wasn’t free to become fond of anyone and never would be. Filing for a divorce would immediately paint a bull’s-eye on her. Kyler had told her in graphic detail what would happen to her. She needed to remember that.

And she needed to remember how Nolan felt about a woman cheating on her husband. A little quiver of worry ran through her at the memory of his harsh face when he talked about his wife.

So absolutely no…fondness, Beth.

Right. Really, she just liked him because of what he’d done for her. Because of him, she felt more like herself than she had in years. She felt like a woman again, pretty, competent. How odd that being submissive could let her feel more competent. It was because of Sir. Although he assumed she’d naturally submit to him, he obviously believed she was still her own person. A strong person.

Since she’d been with him, her body seemed less cold. So she wasn’t going to be a scaredy-cat and stop now. She trusted him…mostly… More than anyone else in forever. She’d let him take her further.

And, despite her internal pep-talk, the thought closed her throat. God, she was such a coward.

With an exasperated sigh, she moved away from the truck and finally took a good look at her surroundings. All she could do was stare. Newly built, the two-story Spanish-style house was a pale gold stucco with arched windows everywhere. A white flagstone patio extended out in a semicircle around a splashing fountain.

She hadn’t nearly managed to finish gaping when Nolan walked out between the pillars of the covered portico. Her heart gave a painful thump. Dressed in blue jeans and a white, short-sleeved shirt that set off his dark skin, the Dom was as gorgeous as his house. Look at him… He could have any woman he wanted. What in the world was she doing here?

She felt like a terrified puppy wanting to crawl back into its kennel and could almost feel a tail curling under her belly, so she straightened and raised her chin. “Hi,” she said casually.

“Hi, yourself.” Not stopping at a polite distance, he walked right up to her and effortlessly lifted her high enough to kiss her, his mouth warm and demanding.

A nice blaze burned inside her body by the time he released her.

“Well.” She sucked in a breath, realized she was holding his waist, and pulled her hands back. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “I’m glad you like it.”

Two more trucks came up the long, winding drive. The first pulled up behind Beth’s. Kari bounced out, long brown hair blowing in the slight breeze. “Nolan, Dan says you built this. It’s gorgeous.”

He built it? “Well”-Beth set her hands on her hips and waggled her head at him, trying to remember his exact tone-“next time, I will hear about these projects from you, not Kari.”

God, she loved the sound of his deep laugh.

As he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against his solid body, Beth smiled at the other two couples. Although the subs were in shorts, all the Doms were in jeans. Dan wore a tight black T-shirt. Cullen’s brown and gold tropical shirt hung open, displaying his broad chest.

“Come on in.” Nolan waved everyone into his house.

The inside was as lovely as the outside, with high ceilings and gleaming hardwood floors. Recessed niches in the creamy stucco walls held dark red vases with flowers. They went through the foyer, past a wide staircase with wrought iron railings, and into the great room. Colorful hand painted tiles framed the arched windows and wide doorways. More tiles accented a big stone fireplace on the far wall.

A hand-loomed rug defined the sitting area, and everyone took seats on the tan leather sofa and chairs. Nolan rested a hip on a bright tapestry draped over the arm of Beth’s chair.

“Everyone, this is Deborah,” Cullen said, his hand on the shoulder of a tall, muscular brunette. Beth remembered seeing her at the Shadowlands. She also was new to the club and not especially friendly. Cullen pointed to the others. “Deb, this is Daniel, Kari, Nolan, and Beth.” Turning back to Nolan, he said, “Okay, Nolan, give them the bad news.”

Bad news? What…

“Relax, little rabbit,” Nolan murmured, tugging her hair lightly. He said to everyone, “None of you subs have participated here before, but your Doms have, although it’s been over a year since I held a party.”

“And it’s about time you started again,” Cullen said. He propped his long legs up on the coffee table.

“Subs, here are the rules: you do not need to keep your eyes lowered, but you may not speak unless asked a question. You may kneel to get permission to speak. Any Dom here may touch you or punish you with a spanking, but nothing more intense without your master’s permission. No penetration without permission of your master. Your safe word is red, and that means everything stops. You may use yellow if you’re having a problem, and that word may or may not be honored.”

Beth glanced around the room. The Doms were leaning back, legs outstretched, totally at ease. Deborah knelt at Cullen’s feet, looking bored. Kari sat beside Dan on the couch, her hands clenched in her lap, the knuckles white.

Sir had said Kari hadn’t been in the scene very long. Well, that made two of them. Beth shivered. She’d only had real Doms for a short period, and apparently there was an awful lot she didn’t know about this stuff.

Nolan tugged on Beth’s hair again and pointed to the left. “There’s a powder room over there where you can change. Go now.”

“Big,” Beth murmured as they entered. The soft pink room was the size of her studio apartment. Wrought iron scrollwork decorated the mirror over the long counters. There were even showers.

“Dan said Nolan comes from a large family and wants one of his own. I guess he designed this place for that”-Kari played with the buttons on her shirt-“and for stuff like this.”

Without speaking even once, Deborah stripped casually and left the changing room.

“Why does this feel scarier than the club?” Kari asked, unbuttoning her blouse slowly.

“Because the guys are all friends and are used to playing together”-Beth bit her lip-“and we’re the toys about to be played with.”

Kari giggled. “What a way to put it. But, oh, so true.” She folded her blouse neatly, setting it on a shelf against the dark blue wall.

Beth screwed up her courage and pulled her top off. “I hate naked,” she muttered.

Kari put the rest of her clothes away before frowning at Beth. “Finish up, girl, or I’ll leave you in here. And Master Nolan doesn’t look like a patient Dom.”

“Now that was mean,” Beth grumbled. But just the thought of annoying Sir was enough to make her strip quickly. Stuffing her clothes onto a shelf, she followed the lushly curved woman toward the door. “I feel like a stick,” she grumbled.

Kari turned and whispered, “And I always feel fat. Ever notice how women never like their bodies?” Their eyes met in a moment of perfect understanding, and Beth realized she was going to have another friend.

The warm feeling only lasted long enough to leave the powder room. Between the air-conditioning and the gazes of the three men, Beth felt chilled to the bone. Resisting the urge to cover her private areas, she followed Kari across the room. Yeah, this naked stuff really sucked.

Master Nolan was lounging in the chair she’d vacated. He looked her over slowly, making her feel beautiful and sexy without saying a word. His lips curved up in a way that said he liked seeing her, naked and in his home-her insides turned liquid. She halted in front of him, expecting another command. Instead, he grasped her hips and pulled her between his legs, trapping her, while his hands ran over her bare skin. Cupping her bottom, he nuzzled her stomach. “You smell good, little sub. Like lemonade and strawberries.”

He nipped her hip hard enough to make her yelp, then rose to his feet. “Cullen, you two make yourselves at home. The dungeon room’s down there.” Nolan pointed to a hallway running past the stairs. “Dan, our set-up is outside.” Taking Beth’s hand, he strolled to the back of the great room, through French doors, and onto a covered lanai. The outdoor room opened to a wide, screened patio. On the right was a dining area with built-in barbecue, table and chairs, and a hacienda-style fountain.

To the left, an Olympic-sized pool sparkled in the sun. Maroon lounge chairs lent color to the area, but Beth couldn’t help but visualize how much better it would look with big pots of bright flowers. Just outside the screen by the pool, clusters of palms and palmettos really needed some ferns to transition from tall to short.

Straight ahead, an immense, heartbreakingly ugly yard of weeds led down to a small lake. Dropping Nolan’s hand, she took a few steps forward. Much of the hardscape had been put in already. A beautiful stone walkway led from the house, under arching trees, and down to a small dock. Beth could hear Kari and Dan commenting on the lake but couldn’t get her mind to focus on anything besides what she would plant if the place were hers.

“Don’t start digging yet, sugar.” Nolan tugged lightly on her hair. “I’ll take you for a walk later. I’d like something on the order of what you did for Z. That wild look. Think you’re up to the challenge?”

Starting from scratch in a setting this beautiful… She wanted this job so badly she was liable to start drooling like a dog. “Yes. I could do this.” She smiled slowly. “I can make it absolutely gorgeous.”

“Good. After supper, you can drag me around and tell me where you want to start.” His confidence in her was like a heady drug, and her smile grew. First she’d start by leveling-

“Beth…” With an exasperated sound, he tangled his fingers in her hair, pulled her head back, and kissed her plans right out of her head. “Later. I need to torture you a little first.”

He pulled her to a pair of heavy teak tables close to the pool. Chairs around the tables held covered trays and bowls of water. When she saw chains embedded into the table legs and top, a tickle of anxiety chased down her spine. Just how extreme did BDSM parties get?

Sir held out his hand. “Wrists, please.”

With a tiny quiver, she gave him her wrists. He buckled well-padded cuffs on, then set her on the edge of the smoothly finished table. Her breathing increased as he pushed her flat, leaving her legs dangling over the end. She turned her head and saw Dan chaining Kari on the other table. The Dom was so big and muscular he made his well-endowed sub appear fragile.

Beth looked up at Nolan. That was pretty much how Master Nolan made her feel, and she liked that…most of the time.

Silently Sir chained her hands over her head and then spread her legs wide. He took a warm washcloth from the bowl of water, laying it on her pussy.

“Master?” The word seemed to come easier and easier.

He sat down beside her and curved a hand over her breast. “Have you ever shaved down there, Beth?”

Shave? She shook her head.

“Was there a reason?”

“Not really. I wasn’t ready with the first Dom, and Master Chris didn’t care, and then I…the last one…” Her mouth tightened. Kyler had cared only about how she presented herself in public. And how she screamed.

“You know, sugar, I get the impression your last so-called Dom was more of a sadist than a Dom. Am I right?”

“He started in BDSM, but, well… Yes. That’s right.”

“He got a name?” Master Nolan asked softly, running a finger down her cheek.

“I…no.” She didn’t want any chance of him finding her or Sir looking him up either, for that matter.

His finger stilled, his eyes dark, then a corner of his mouth drew up into a faint smile. “We’ll keep working on this trust issue of yours. Meantime, you’re going to have a bare pussy today, and you can tell me if you like it or not.”

“Well, okay.” Did he plan to shave her himself? “Sir, I can do it.”

He chuckled. “But I can do it better.” He walked to the foot of the table. “I’m going to strap you down tightly, little rabbit, so you can’t move at a bad moment.” One strap went across her stomach and another just above her hips. Then he bent her knees up and secured each thigh to the waist strap. Her pelvis tilted up.

She licked her lips, a sense of wrongness running through her. Restrained outside? Her pussy up in the air. She felt horribly vulnerable. When she looked over at the other table, she saw the same expression of dismay on Kari’s face.

“Relax, sugar, I don’t have neighbors. No one can see you but me and Dan.” Nolan seated himself in a chair at the foot of the table. He opened a packet of disposable razors and tossed them into the bowl of water. With scissors from the tray, he clipped her pubic hair short and rubbed shaving lotion into what hair was left. A slight herbal scent drifted to her.

Even after the lotion was applied, his fingers kept stroking her outer labia until need started to rise in her, and she gave a little squirm. Lifting her head, she saw amusement in his eyes. “You don’t appear to have any problems getting aroused anymore,” he murmured before nibbling on her inner thigh.

Her hips tried to move against the teasing bites, but she was thoroughly restrained. The knowledge sent more heat swirling through her.

Sir said, “Now stay very still, sugar.” She felt scraping on the top of her mound, each stroke followed by a splashing as he cleaned the razor in the bowl. His hands were warm and sure as he continued, finishing the top, working down her outer lips. Pulling her skin taut, he shaved further, almost to her anus, opening her as needed with firm hands.

The outside world seemed very distant. She could hear Dan murmur to Kari, soft violin music from hidden speakers, Cullen’s booming laugh from inside the house. The intimate touch of Sir’s fingers and the slow scraping of the razor became increasingly erotic.

“All done.” Sir tossed the razor into the water and rubbed something cool onto her bare folds. “Let’s see if you can tell the difference.”

She gasped when his mouth touched her pussy. She could feel…everything, not just his tongue on her clit, but his cheeks against her bare lips, the warmth of his skin, and the tiny scratchiness of his chin. Every sensation was amplified. Holding her labia open with unyielding fingers, he exposed her clit and licked over it.

“Ah!” She jerked at the exquisite shock. She felt a tiny puff of air, then his hot, wet mouth. Another puff of air hit directly on her clit. Hot mouth again. Her breathing turned ragged as fire shot through her, as her clit swelled, the tiny nub of nerves straining for more.

But he moved to run his tongue over her labia. His teeth gripped an inner lip, biting gently until jolts of sensation spiraled around her core. Her hands clenched the chain binding her, and her legs strained against the straps. She could do nothing except pant and whimper as he teased her, tonguing her clit, biting her folds. He brought her right to the edge of release, then backed away.

The muscles in her legs tightened as she tried to lift into his mouth. The restraints held her securely. She couldn’t move at all. She felt like a quivering, mindless doll, there for him to do whatever he wanted with her.

One finger slid into her, very slowly pushing between her swollen tissues. He pulled out and thrust two fingers in, ripping a cry from her. The intense pleasure increased, expanding to the entire V between her legs.

His fingers plunged in and out of her, and his tongue rubbed the sides of her clit in the same rhythm until her legs jerked uncontrollably in the restraints. Her breathing stopped, her whole body going rigid. Waiting. Needing release so badly she moaned. As everything constricted, his lips captured her clit, pulsing directly on the nub.

There was a roaring sound in her ears as she tried to arch, couldn’t move, and screamed instead as she spasmed around his fingers. Each forceful contraction of her vagina shot hot waves of pleasure through her body.

She quivered as he withdrew his tongue and his fingers. “I like you bare,” he murmured. “Seems like you do too.” And then he stood, sheathed himself in a condom, slicked the broad head of his cock in her juices, and plunged into her straight to the hilt. She screamed and climaxed again, billowing around his huge cock in exquisite explosions.

He ran his big hands up the back of her strapped thighs, anchoring her firmly as he started to thrust. She strained against his grip, and the feeling of being overpowered shot her back into arousal and need. His black gaze moved over her face, and then he tightened his hands even further, making her moan again.

His cock plunged in and out of her in a compelling rhythm-slow, fast, slow, fast-until her body started to constrict around him again. Her newly bare lips were so sensitive that she could not only feel his cock, but the hair at its base, his slightly rough balls, the warmth of his hips. The unfamiliar stimulation drove her insane. Too many sensations for her mind and her body to process.

His fingers moved down her thighs, and suddenly she became aware of how close they were to her clit, and now each movement inside her increased her urgency. His touch moved a little closer. A finger trailed across the top of her mound as his cock slid in and out of her. His finger traced down the inside of a fold, missing her clit. She moaned in disappointment.

He slowed, drawing his cock out of her inch by inch, pushing back in, inch by goddamned inch. His finger moved toward her clit again, teasing around, but never reaching it, and she whimpered as the tenseness inside her became too full to bear.

Her hands fisted as she panted. She could do nothing to get closer, nothing to make him touch her there, and a moan broke from her. “Please, please, please…”

To her distress, he stopped moving altogether with just the crown of his cock still in her. Her head rolled back and forth as her whole body pulsed and ached.

“M-master…”

“That’s right, sugar,” he murmured. His cock drove home with one hard thrust. His slick finger stroked over her clit at the same time, fast and rough. The sky disappeared as she broke, screaming and screaming. Her body shuddered, convulsing around him, against him. His grip moved back to her hips, tightening painfully as he gave a guttural growl and came in violent jerks inside her, pressing so deeply she felt as if his shaft filled her entire body.

He was breathing fast and smiling as he released his grip. As she fought for breath in the humid air, he leaned down between her strapped thighs and rested his cheek on her stomach. “Listen to that little heart pound,” he murmured. “I’d better give you a break before you shake apart.”

He kissed her stomach, then nipped, laughing when her pussy clenched around him. Rising, he pulled out, leaving her quivering in emptiness. After disposing of the condom, he gently unstrapped her, helped her sit up, and sat beside her on the top of the table. Her head still whirled.

At the other table, Master Dan tossed the razor into the bowl. “All done here,” he announced.

Beth looked at Kari and choked. He’d left enough hair on his sub’s shaved mound to form the shape of a heart.

Master Nolan snorted a laugh. “You pervert,” he said to Master Dan, getting a flashing grin back in answer.

Frowning, Kari lifted her head. “What? What did he do?” She got a quick slap on her thigh.

“Silence, little sub. You can admire my work later.” Taking a scoop of the lotion, he started rubbing it into her folds so thoroughly that her head fell back with a groan.

“Come, little rabbit,” Sir said, lifting Beth off the table and wrapping an arm around her. “Time to feed you and get you rehydrated. I think you panted away most of the fluid in your body.”

She shook her head. The concern he showed for her was unsettling. How many times had she fainted after one of Kyler’s so-called sessions, weak with dehydration and pain? How many times had she needed to crawl up the stairs, unable to stand? The memory invaded her mind like a maggot, and she edged closer until her body rubbed up against Sir’s with every step.

Nolan felt the little sub burrow closer and ran his hand over her hip. She didn’t usually snuggle. He glanced down, seeing how the tiny muscles around her lips had tensed, and her fingers had clenched. “What was that thought?”

She stiffened, and he smothered a smile. She really hated sharing her emotions.

“Beth.”

“Nothing.”

Anger surged through him, not surprising in the arrival, but the amount. “Beth,” he snapped, and her gaze whipped up even as she flinched. He breathed out, tried to control his voice, but it still came out cold. “Lying… I have a low tolerance for lying.” Another breath. “Why don’t you try that answer again?”

“Yes, Sir,” she whispered. “I was thinking about how…how differently you treat me than…someone else.” She glanced down at the scars on her arms.

“Someone else, huh? Since you won’t tell me his name, we’ll call him the bastard. No, make it the cowardly bastard, since only a coward picks on a person littler than himself.”

A weak laugh, but a laugh. She was still so close against him that he could feel her muscles relax. “All right.” She continued in a fast flurry of words, an obvious attempt at balancing the scales. “The cowardly bastard never… It’s strange to have someone notice I need water.” The wonder in her voice shook him deep inside.

He stopped and wrapped both arms around her, letting her feel his warmth and his strength. “Beth, when a Dom takes control, leaving no choices for the sub, he has to see to all her needs, not just sexual, but emotional and physical also. If your Dom doesn’t do that, then you find a new Dom.”

Her lips were open, her body as relaxed as he’d ever seen it. He nuzzled the smooth curve of her neck before drawing back, lifting her chin to look into her big eyes. “And if I am not meeting those needs in any way, I expect you to tell me about it.”

Her lips formed the word, “But-”

Now this was a question he’d had before. He ran his thumb along her stubborn little jaw line. “We’re not in a Dom/sub relationship twenty-four hours a day, Beth, so unless we’re playing or at the club, you can talk anytime you want. If we are playing, kneel and ask permission. I rarely refuse.” He bit her earlobe and whispered, “I enjoyed seeing you kneel before me last week.”

A tremor coursed through her body and made him laugh.

When they reached the kitchen, Beth stopped and stared. Dusky yellow walls with brightly painted tile accents. Dark granite counters. Appliances that would make a chef weep in joy.

He opened the refrigerator and pulled out bottled water and a platter of finger foods. Tiny sandwiches, miniature quiches, and other hors d’oeuvres were circled by slices of apples, oranges, and pineapple.

“Did you make all that yourself?” she wondered.

His smile flashed, and she realized he’d smiled more today than she’d ever seen. “Not a chance. My housekeeper does this type of fancy stuff. I asked her to come in an extra day this week and set this up.” He handed her the platter.

“You are so spoiled,” she told him and winced. Dammit. She’d gotten away with that question but teasing him? The laughter in his eyes said he’d been waiting for her to hang herself.

“Stay right there,” he murmured. She heard the bottles drop onto the table. He stepped behind her, his hard body against her back, his hands sliding under her arms and capturing her breasts. “Don’t drop the tray, sugar,” he cautioned as she jerked. She tightened her hold, gritting her teeth as he played with her breasts, thumbing the nipples, pinching them lightly until they peaked. Her arms began to shake as her insides turned liquid.

He chuckled and bit the muscle just below her neck sharply. “Just remember, honey, if Cullen or Dan hear you talking without permission, they’ll likely be doing this…or spanking you.”

Oh, God. “Yes, Sir,” she whispered.

After a final caress, he released her, leaving her breasts swollen and aching.

In the great room, he set the bottles on the coffee table along with the platter. He grabbed a blanket from a pile on one of the couches, dropped it on the floor beside a chair, and pointed to it.

Her seat, huh? And yet, as he took the chair, and she knelt on her blanket, contentment washed through her. Why was sitting at his feet so…enjoyable? Even arousing? God knew, she never felt the urge to be submissive in everyday life. But here at this play party… Oh, yes, she liked it. As she settled, her newly bare pussy brushed against the woven blanket, and she jumped. How in the world did women who shaved wear tight jeans?

“Drink this, Beth.” Nolan opened a bottle of water and handed it to her as the others joined them. Deborah settled at Cullen’s feet, and Kari at Dan’s. Kari kept glancing down at the heart on her mound, still obviously stunned, and her Dom’s lips quirked every time she did.

“Cullen, take a look at how hard we worked,” Dan said. “Stand up, Kari.”

Good grief, he wasn’t serious, was he? Beth tried to slide behind Nolan’s legs and scowled when he rumbled, “Up, Beth.”

Cullen looked them over, barking a laugh at Kari’s decoration. Beth hoped her blush wasn’t as obvious as Kari’s, but from the amused look on Sir’s face, she had a feeling they were equally red.

As they sat back down, Master Nolan told the Doms to help themselves to the food. And with each hors d’oeuvres, Sir took, he handed her one, tidbit by tidbit. After a few minutes, she noticed she was now getting only foods she liked, like the tiny quiches and the fruit, not the crab-filled shells or the yucky brie. The realization he took the trouble to notice and please her in even this small way made her feel funny. Happy. She looked up at him as she popped a grape in her mouth.

He was watching her. As the grape filled her mouth with sweetness, his eyes crinkled, and then he returned to the men’s conversation.

After the food was gone, the Doms discussed the club for a bit: the changes Z planned to make, the new members, the next meeting of the Shadowlands masters at some restaurant. Nolan glanced down at Beth. “The subs also meet once a month. Did anyone tell you?”

“Jessica mentioned it, but I’ve never gone.” She’d never felt like a normal submissive. Not until now. “Maybe I’ll go next time.”

“I-” Kari stopped, slid a look up at her Dom. “Permission, Master?”

“Good catch, little sub.” He pulled a strand of her long hair with a smile. “Granted.”

“I just went last time with Jessica,” Kari said to Beth. “It was more fun than I’d thought.” She gave Dan an innocent look. “We talk about how horrible our Doms are and sneaky ways to get around them. Why don’t I call you that day, and we’ll all go together?”

Beth nodded enthusiastically. Two friends. She had two friends now.