Breaking Free

Chapter Four

She’d had an orgasm. During the week that followed, Beth couldn’t keep her brain from circling back to that, over and over. As she mowed lawns, trimmed bushes, cleaned up debris. As she fertilized, sprayed, and weeded. As she designed and planted new flowerbeds.

Now, late Friday afternoon, at her apartment complex’s pool, she balanced on the diving board and dove in. She surfaced with a gasp of pleasure, the water cool against her overheated skin. The faint scent of chlorine mingled with the fragrance of banana and coconut suntan lotion wafting from the women on the lounge chairs. They fluttered and chattered like a flock of birds, casting flirtatious looks at the two men at a nearby table.

Beth sighed. She’d had so much trouble finding a furnished apartment in a decent area that she’d resigned herself to a singles-only complex. But she didn’t belong here with these carefully made-up women who never got in the water. She felt like a common daisy planted amidst orchids.

But as Beth finished her laps and sat on the pool’s edge, she realized she felt pretty today. Last week, a man had looked at her, at all of her, and shown his pleasure. Had obviously enjoyed touching her. She glanced down at her suit, at her almost nonexistent cleavage. The girls, as a friend like to call her breasts, seemed to sit a little higher, appear a little perkier. And if that wasn’t the dumbest thing she’d ever-

“Hi.”

At the sound of a man’s voice, Beth turned so quickly she almost fell into the water. Heart pounding, she looked up. One of the men from the table loomed over her. Lanky, nicely tanned, hair carefully styled.

“Hi,” she answered, pressing a hand to her chest. Being so panicky was liable to give her a heart attack one of these days.

“I’m new here,” he said, holding his hand down to help her up. “My name’s Todd.”

“I’m Beth.” She let him pull her to her feet, his hand soft, lacking calluses. When had she started to find a rough hand attractive?

“Want to join me and my friend? We’re just hanging out, unwinding from work.”

“Uh, no, thanks.” She went through this about once a week. Her answer never changed. “I’ve got other plans.” Taking a shower, heating up some soup, watching TV. “But thank you.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe next time.” He smiled, then his eyes widened as he noticed the scars showing around the edges of her very concealing black suit.

She shrugged. “Nasty car accident,” she said, lying without any remorse whatsoever.

An hour later, back in her tiny furnished apartment decorated in one-color-fits-all beige, Beth stared sightlessly at the car chase on the television. Tomorrow was Saturday. She’d see Master Nolan again. Her heart did a slow somersault inside her chest

She wanted to see him with an urgency she hadn’t felt since meeting Kyler. Kyler who she’d been convinced truly loved her.

She’d been so very wrong.

Her hand tightened on the mug of tomato soup. She dreamed of Master Nolan every night, of his sure hands moving on her body, of the intense look in his eyes and how he saw her every reaction. In her dreams, her body would warm, arousal shooting through her… And then his face would blur into Kyler’s. The sound of his rough voice would meld into Kyler’s refined one. She’d hear the snap of the single-tail and then her grunts of pain when he shoved himself into her dryness.

Oh, God, what was she doing?

At one time, she’d loved Kyler so much she hadn’t seen past his movie-star good looks to the monster inside. But if she could be so wrong about him, she could be wrong about anyone. There was no way to tell who a person was inside.

And although Master Nolan hadn’t hurt her, he easily could. He was a Dom. Someone who wanted control. Complete control. She couldn’t give him that. She didn’t trust him…or herself.

She took a sip of her soup and had to force herself to swallow. Nolan had done what she’d hoped for. He’d made her feel alive again. And she’d felt something besides fear. But he demanded too much. She was relinquishing too much of her control over her body…and her emotions. Her body might survive, but… She sighed miserably.

Before Kyler, she’d been tough, as sturdy as kudzu. You could jump up and down on the invasive vine, and it would just keep growing. After Kyler? Now she felt like an impatiens-step on it even gently, the stem would break, and it would die.

Her hands curled around the cup of soup, trying to absorb the warmth as cold grew inside her. Being with Master Nolan again was just too big of a risk. She needed to back away. But how? And what would Z do?

Pursing her lips, she considered. What if she got someone else to top her tomorrow? If that worked out, then Master Z wouldn’t cancel her membership, would he?

And Master Nolan wouldn’t want her if she humiliated him by obviously preferring another Dom.

She thought of his black eyes, his ruthless face, and shivered.

As twilight gathered around him, Nolan hammered one last nail into the board before rising to his feet. He rocked back and forth on his tiny dock-the structure no longer swayed under his weight. Good. One less chore on his list. His place had sure gone to hell while he’d been gone.

After wiping the sweat from his forehead, he sat on the end of the dock and listened to the background hum of his world. Water lapped softly against the wood. An egret flapped slowly overhead, a flash of white in the dark sky. A barred owl gave a series of hoots from the trees farther down. Around the water’s edge, crickets trilled, and frogs chirped with the occasional bass note of a bullfrog. Near the center of the lake, a fish jumped, splashing back into the water.

In the desert, he’d craved the sounds of Florida, the feel of the humid air moistening his skin, the rich tropical scents with the underlying odor of sulphurous water. It felt damned good to be home.

Even if that home was empty.

He glanced back at his big house, designed and built to hold a family. Last year, he’d been happy to release Felicia, and she deserved to have someone who loved her more than he had. And someone who enjoyed being a full-time master. But he was fucking lonely at times.

As if summoned, his cell phone rang, the jarring noise silencing the frog chorus for a moment. He glanced at the display. His oldest brother.

“Hey, Adam, how’s it going?”

“Life’s good. Ah…you doing okay?”

A corner of Nolan’s mouth turned up at the careful concern. During the years in covert ops, Nolan had been a damn fine killer, but it had taken its toll, and his brutal, bloody nightmares had terrified his family. Adam undoubtedly knew that Iraq had reawakened his ghosts. But Nolan had put them back to rest. Eventually. Being home was good. Getting little redheaded subs off was even better. “I’m fine, bro. Stop worrying. And how is everyone?”

“Not bad. Jenny’s pregnant again. One more kid for the clan gathering.”

Nolan grinned. His youngest sister wanted a big family; this would be her third. “I’ll have to give her a call. How about you? Getting married yet?”

“Hell no. Not till they let me have at least two wives.” A pause. “You still into the bind-em and beat-em stuff?”

Nolan snorted. “Coming from someone who prefers four or five people in his bed, you’ve got no room for snide remarks.”

“Least I don’t have to tie them up to fuck them,” Adam said, continuing the long-running insult fest. “You gonna make it home this summer?”

“Probably not until fall. Why?”

“Dad wanted you to-hell, speak of the devil. He’s on the other line. Talk to you later.” Adam clicked off.

Nolan grinned and shoved the phone back in his pocket. Always good to hear from family. Sometimes he missed living closer, but considering his perverse lifestyle, distance wasn’t a bad thing. He’d taken Felicia with him for a visit once. His mom and sisters hadn’t taken to her. Even though she’d behaved appropriately, she was submissive through and through, and the King women were all hell on wheels.

What would they think of Beth with her myriad of scars? He grinned. Yeah, they’d like Beth. Although beat-up, scarred as all get-out, and terrified, she’d not only had the guts to escape but managed to start up a business in a strange city all by herself. They’d respect that.

Hell, he respected that.

That night, Kyler strolled up to the big stone mansion set in the middle of nowhere. Quite a place, he thought, admiring the fancy ironwork and the black sconces set on each side of the open door. He stepped inside.

“Good evening, sir.” Behind a desk in the entry, the young man attired in a guard uniform rose as Kyler entered. A pretty boy, Kyler sneered inside, giving him a friendly nod.

“May I have your name, please?”

“I’m not a member of the Shadowlands,” Kyler said, smiling. “An acquaintance mentioned she really liked the club. This is a BDSM club, right?”

“On Saturday nights, yes. Tonight is swing night.”

Wrong night. Hell. “Any chance of seeing the place…maybe tomorrow, since I’m into BDSM?”

The guard shook his head. “Sorry, sir, but only members are allowed inside.”

“What does it take to be a member?”

“There’s an open house twice a year for people wanting to join. Otherwise a current member must recommend you. If you have more questions, you can call Master Z at this number.” The guard handed over a black card with Shadowlands inscribed in a raised gold font.

Kyler’s jaw flexed. An exclusive club for the well-to-do. Surely she wouldn’t be a member here. But he hadn’t found any sign of her in the open Tampa clubs. “Can you tell me if my friend comes here? Elizabeth or Beth? Slender redhead with big blue-green eyes.” Vulnerable eyes that filled with tears so easily. A husky voice whose screams he heard in his wet dreams.

The guard started to nod, then visibly caught himself. “I’m sorry, but our clients value their privacy. I cannot confirm that one way or another.”

“I understand completely.” Kyler kept his expression calm and interested despite the sense of victory flaming inside him. Got you, you bitch. I’ve got you. “Well, I’m sure I’ll catch up with her sooner or later. Thanks for your time.”

“No problem. Have a nice night.”

Kyler walked out into the night, his stride loose and even, his posture straight as he’d been taught. And all the way to his rental car, the delightful screams of his wife echoed in his head.

On Saturday, Beth greeted Ben, laughing at his jokes despite her anxiety. As she entered the Shadowlands, she spotted Jessica and waved, moving through the crowd toward her. The scent of perfumes, men’s colognes, leather, sweat, and sex filled the air. She dodged a Domme berating her slave and walked around a couple entranced by hot wax play at a station. A flash of blue flickered against the rafters; someone was playing with a violet wand at the far end.

She pushed past two more people, finally reaching Jessica. The little blonde was wearing a hot pink camisole with a tight black latex skirt. “You look great,” Beth said with a sigh. When God was handing out breasts, Jessica must have been at the front of the line. And Beth would have brought up the tail end.

“Forget that. How are you doing?” Jessica asked, grasping Beth’s hands. “Are you all right? What happened with Nolan?”

Beth smiled, gave up any hope of reticence, and hugged the other woman, pushing down a forlorn desire to beg her for advice. “I was going to ask you the same thing. What did he do to you?”

Red streaked Jessica’s skin. “That evil bast-” Her gaze focused on a point over Beth’s right shoulder, and she choked.

Beth spun, almost colliding with Master Z.

His face showed nothing, but his silvery eyes danced with laughter. “Yes, little one, tell Beth. What did the evil bastard do?” Master Z crossed his muscular arms over his black silk shirt and waited.

After giving him a nervous look, Jessica focused on Beth. “He put me in the stockade, flipped up my skirt, and let any Dom passing by have a whack.” Her mouth tightened. “Some of them came back for seconds and thirds. I couldn’t sit down for two days.”

Remorse surged through Beth so strongly that her eyes filled. Jessica had been hurt because of her. If she-

“Oh, heavens, don’t you dare cry. It wasn’t your fault; it was mine. I have a bad habit of not being properly respectful”-Jessica gave Master Z a rueful smile-“and sometimes the evil Dom calls me on it.”

He stepped forward and brushed a kiss on top of Jessica’s head. “And the bastard enjoyed every whack you got. I will be at the bar. Come directly there when you and Beth finish talking.”

“Yes, Master.” Her eyes soft, she watched him walk away, before giving Beth a wry grin. “He enjoyed watching so much that he took me right there in the stockade, damn him.”

Beth bit her lip, remembering Jessica rarely did public scenes. “Sorry.”

“Oh, he made sure I enjoyed myself. Only that makes it more embarrassing, and he knows it.” Jessica shook her head and frowned at Beth. “Okay, now about you…”

“I’m fine. Really.” Beth looked around the room, expecting to see Sir. She’d noticed people rarely crowded him, so he should be easy to spot. “Is Master Nolan here?”

“He’s monitoring the dungeon for a while. One of the DM’s had to leave.

The disappointment bubbling up inside her strengthened Beth’s resolve to find a different Dom. And if he were busy, then she wouldn’t have to talk to him. Once he saw her with another Dom, he’d be angry enough to blow her off without her having to try to explain why she couldn’t continue with him.

Jessica’s eyes narrowed. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing that I don’t always do. Find a top for the evening. Have a little fun. Go home.” Beth kept her tone light.

“And Nolan? What about him?”

“He got me off, so that block I had is gone. Life should be good.”

“You figure he’ll agree with that?”

Beth saw a Dom at the bar give her an assessing look. She smiled, pulled her stomach in, and pushed her breasts out. “If I don’t want Nolan to top me, what can he do?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Jessica said doubtfully. “But I can tell you that underestimating the masters here can be very painful. Good luck, hon.”

“It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”