Broken Visions

Chapter 18

“The Purple Flame?” Aislin pulls a face at the paper. She’s still sitting on the floor of the living room with the laptop opened up on the coffee table and the note I found in my room in her hand. “I think it’s a Foreseer term.”

“Does anyone know what it is?” I take the note from her hand and read it over again, pondering whose handwriting it could be.

“No,” Alex says, absentmindedly playing with my hair as he sits next to me, mulling it over. “We’re all just as lost as you.”

“Well, does anyone know how to find out what it is?” I ask, knowing I should go sit somewhere else, but I can’t seem to will myself to give up the comfort he’s instilling in me. And after the thing with my mom, I really need some comfort. “Is there a book or something? Or can we search it out on the Internet?”

Alex and Aislin exchange a look of inquiry. “What do you think?” Alex asks her. “Would it say anything about it?”

“I don’t know…maybe,” Aislin deliberates as she clicks a few keys on the computer and then shuts it down. “But it would be extremely risky, especially if he’s at our house.”

My eyes blink incredulously. “You want to go to your house—to Stephan’s house?”

“Maybe. I mean he has a book.” Aislin scoots the laptop to the side and crosses her arms on the table.

“A history book,” Alex adds. “That outlines the history of the Foreseers. And it’s probably our best bet on figuring this out since we don’t have a Foreseer around to help us anymore.”

My stomach churns as I think of Nicholas and the floral scent I detected only moments ago when I looked outside my window. But there’s no way… Nicholas was dead.

“I’ll go get it,” Alex announces, getting up to head to the foyer. “My father was never home anyway, so I doubt he’ll be hanging around now, but if he is, I can handle it.”

I want to grab him and refuse to let him go, but deep down I know someone has to do it and I’ve already talked him into letting me do things by myself once before, when I was going to the castle, and since it didn’t turn out so great, I know convincing him of such again would be even more difficult. “At least let me foresee us there.”

He shakes his head, lingering in the doorway. “You can’t. There’s Praesidium everywhere in the yard and basement, and besides, you don’t know what my place looks like.”

I motion at Aislin. “Well, let her transport you …”

“No one can use magic in the house,” he explains, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded.

“Why?”

He shrugs. “Since we knew about all the things that go bump in the night, we wanted to be protected.”

“So you’re just going to drive there?” It seems like such a normal thing to do which makes it seem odd.

“Basically, yeah. But don’t worry, I’ll be okay,” he promises. “There’s like a one percent chance he’ll be there. He was never even there while we were growing up—he never was anywhere we were unless it was convenient for him.”

“Can you at least wait until dark, so he doesn’t see you coming if he’s there? Plus, there’ll be lights on in the house if someone’s home so you’ll know,” I point out, walking toward him.

He winks at me. “Alright, but only because you asked me to.”

Unsure how to respond to his composed demeanor, I smile tightly. But it feels wrong because I’m afraid. Afraid of getting hurt. Of not being able to fix the world’s outcome. And the scariest one of all, losing him.

For the rest of the day, we keep to ourselves, getting lost in our own worry. Aleesa comes downstairs eventually, looking better than when I first met her. Her tangles are tamed, her skin isn’t so pale, and she has on clean clothes. Aislin takes her into the kitchen to feed her. She’s almost like a child, unable to take care of herself and I feel sorry for her, realizing that there are so many people’s lives that have been ruined by Stephan and I wonder how many more there are.

I’m sitting on the couch, trying to watch the television and not think about all the danger I’m faced with, but all I can do is focus on Alex and think about how I don’t want him to go. He seems content, however, humming a song under his breath as he laces his boots.

“I don’t think you should go alone,” I finally say, turning off the television. “I should go with you. I’m a Keeper now, so I’m not completely useless.”

He puts a knife into the pocket of his jeans and rolls up the sleeves of his long-sleeve shirt, giving me a good glimpse of his lean muscles. “No way.”

“You didn’t see me at the castle.” I position myself in front of him as he’s walking out of the room. “I kicked some major Death Walker ass.”

He eyes me over from head to toe. “You know what, you can go if you want. You’re a Keeper now, and this will be good practice for you. You can be my lookout, even though I’m sure my father won’t show up. But better safe than sorry, right? And besides, I want you near me at all times. I’m not sure I’ll have a clear head if you’re not there.”

“You’re always saying that,” I tell him, fighting the urge to kiss him. It’s been almost four days since I was graced with his mouth and being this close to him is causing the sparks to attack me and make me want to attack him.

“That’s because it’s true.” He reaches out to touch me, but pulls away. I’ve been noticing how much easier it is for him not to touch me. Ever since the mark showed up, he seems to have regained some control over his emotions. Maybe they’ve fizzled or something.

The sparks however, have not. I can feel them dancing across my skin, taunting me. “Is there something wrong?”

“Why would there be something wrong?”

“I don’t know…” I feel embarrassed to ask him if he’s lost interest in me and even more embarrassed that it’s so important to me. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“Gemma, just say it. You don’t need to sensor yourself with me.”

“Are you about ready to go?” Aislin announces as she enters the room, stopping our conversation, probably for the better. “Because it’s getting late.”

“Gemma’s going with me.” Alex picks up a slender sword from off the table, tosses it to me, and I surprisingly catch it effortlessly.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Aislin protests. “In fact, I think it’s a really stupid idea.”

“We’ll be fine,” Alex assures her. “I really don’t think Stephan will be there.”

Aislin shakes her head. “That’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t think he’ll be there either.” She pauses, glancing back and forth between us. “What I’m worried about is you two being alone together in an empty house … you’ve already been pushing the boundaries and I’m worried you’re going to end up killing each other here soon.”

“Wow. Way to put it out there,” I say sarcastically.

“Sorry,” she tells me unapologetically. “But I have to be blunt because it’s serious stuff, you know.”

“We’ll be fine.” Alex rolls his eyes and again I wonder if something has changed between us since he seems so convinced he’ll be able to stay away from me. “We won’t do anything we wouldn’t do here.” He presses back a smile as he pretends to examine the sword.

Aislin sighs. “Fine, but please hurry.”

We nod and then head out the door.

For most of the drive, we’re quiet, the sparks heating the longer we’re in trapped in the confinements of the car, but they only seem to bother me. Alex seems fully comfortable being in the car with me, driving down the road with the music blasting. Eventually he turns down a side road that goes up into the foothills of the mountains. Not too far up the road, he makes a sudden veer to the left, dipping my old Mazda I used to drive to school into the trees and bushes.

I press my hand to the dashboard, bracing myself against the bumps. “What are you doing?”

He kills the headlights as he slows the car to a stop and everything around us gets taken out by night. “I didn’t want to pull up the driveway, just in case someone is there.”

“You know this doesn’t have four-wheel drive, right?”

“It made it, didn’t it?” There’s humor in his voice.

I don’t say anything further as we get out of the car and hike up the dirt hill. I can barely see anything around me and wish that Aislin’s night vision spell was a permanent thing. But I notice that I do a lot less stumbling than I used to, probably because I’m a Keeper now.

When we approach the top of the hill, Alex hunkers down behind a bush, and puts his arm in front of me, signaling for me to stay behind him as he assesses the situation.

“I knew no one would be here,” he mutters after getting a good look at the dark house in the distance. He stands back up and steps out of the trees and onto a gravel path that leads to a three-story home, but that’s about all I can see. At the front door, he takes a key from under a glass mushroom and unlocks the door.

As I stepped inside the foyer, he retrieves a flashlight out of his back pocket and beams the light around. “It stinks in here,” he murmurs, fanning his hand in front of his face. “Like feet.”

I plug my nose. “And like someone forgot to take out the garbage, but I’m guessing that’s a good sign that no one’s been here in a while.”

He nods. “Welcome to my home,” he mutters under his breath as he starts for the spiral staircase in front of us.

We climb up the stairs and go into a room with black and purple walls, dark blue carpet, and a massive canopy bed decorated with vines and curtains.

“Whose room is this?” I take in the posters on the wall, the decorations, the clutter, signs that someone actually had a life in here and it makes me a bit sad.

He sweeps the flashlight around to room. “It’s Aislin’s.”

I’m so confused. “But it’s so… so… awesome. And not frilly and pink.”

He opens the closet door. “You have to understand something about Aislin. She’s not who she appears to be on the outside. She has a darker side to her.” He sets the flashlight down on the floor, aiming it up at the ceiling, and then grabs a box from the top shelf. “Most witches do have a darker side…but my father trained her to be the girl she is on the outside so people wouldn’t see her as a threat.” He peers inside the box and then puts it away. “He controlled her a lot.”

He starts rummaging around in the closet while I wander around the room. I see a photo on top of the dresser of Aislin and Laylen, sitting on a porch swing, smiling and happy, something that doesn’t exist at the moment and my heart knots in my chest.

“What are you looking for?” I go back into the closet and move up behind Alex.

He yanks a box decorated with black and purple glitter off the top closet shelf and lifts the lid. “For this.” Inside the box, are bags of herbs, a collection of candles and crystals, beads, necklaces, and other strange items that have to be Wicca stuff.

“Aislin’s spell stuff?” I pick up a necklace with a rose pendant.

“Yeah, I figured we could pick it up while we were here,” he says.

I put the necklace back in the box. “It’s a good idea. We have been using her magic a lot.”

He nods, then we leave Aislin’s room with the box, crossing the hallway into an office area with shelves for walls that are crammed with old books, a large desk in the corner, and antique furniture.

“Please tell me you know where the Foreseer book is,” I say in a hopeful expression.

He shakes his head, crushing my hope into a thousand pieces. So we start looking, working our way from bottom to top, until we’re up to our elbows in books. Alex has the flashlight between us, so there was just enough light that we could see the title of the cover.

“I love books,” I admit when the silence between us starts to make me restless.

“I know,” he says, peeking inside a book.

“How?”

“Because you loved them when you were younger.” He quickly clears his throat as if he’s said something wrong.

“What else did I like when I was younger?” I ask, adding the book in my hand to the stack beside me.

His eyes travel from the book to me. “You drove me crazy sometimes.” There’s a sparkle in his eyes.

I roll my eyes. “I did not.”

He nods with certainty, putting the book on top of a stack and then collecting another one. “You were always such a daredevil and it drove me nuts keeping you out of trouble.”

“Then why did you?” I crisscross my legs.

“Because I wanted to.” He looks down at the book as he reads the spine then the front.

“What about you?” I ask. “What were you like?”

It takes him longer to respond. “An asshole.”

“I’m sure you weren’t always an asshole.” I give him a playful smile and he shakes his head, stifling a grin.

“I don’t know, Gemma,” he says, exhaling loudly. “I had a rough childhood, full of shitty memories of my father doing really shitty things to me, but I don’t want to talk about it with you, because it makes me more of an asshole, complaining to you about stuff like that when you suffered the most.” His head tips down as he avoids eye contact with me.

“We all suffered,” I say. “One way or another and I don’t think you’re an asshole for saying that—shit happened and we shouldn’t have to keep it a secret anymore.”

He glances up at me. “You sound very wise right now.”

I shrug. “I was just saying how it is.”

He inhales and then exhales, his gaze fastened with mine. The pull starts to arise and I find myself setting the book aside and scooting across the floor toward him. At first he stays still, as if welcoming my advance, but then he abruptly gets up and goes over to the bookshelf.

“Did I do something wrong?” I dare ask, feeling vulnerable at the moment.

He climbs up the ladder for the top shelf, shaking his head. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.” I struggle for words I don’t want to say. “You’ve just… you’ve just seemed really uninterested since I got my Keeper’s mark.” Feeling stupid, I engulf my attention in the book on my lap.

I hear him moving around, then moments later his boots appear in my line of vision. “That’s not what it is,” he says. “I’m just trying to protect you.”

I look up at him. “From what?”

“From me.” He sits down in front of me and there’s sincerity in his eyes. “When you got the rush reality sort of slapped me in the face. It was so intense with you that I thought… that I thought you were going to die, which can happen sometimes. And that made me realize just how much I don’t want you to die.” He strokes my cheek with his finger. “I need you here and if that means keeping our distance, then that’s what I’ll do.”

The emotion flooding his eyes is so potent, so consuming that I momentarily stop breathing. “But do you ever think…. Ever think it might be for the best,” I whisper. “Because it’d put an end to all of this.”

He cups my chin in his hand. “I’m not going to go there,” he says forcefully, then pushes to his feet. “We’ll find another way.”

He goes back to searching through the book and I return to mine, but I can’t help but be aware of him. So aware that even when I shut my eyes, all I see is him.

We don’t say much to each other as we continue looking through books. It starts to get to me after a while. Surrounded by stacks, I take a look at the many left on the shelf and finally say, “What if it’s not on the shelf? The book has got to be important, right, if it has the history of the Foreseers in it. Why would he keep it out in the open?” I pause remembering something from my past. “I once went looking for my birth certificate in Marco and Sophia’s room.”

He glances up from the book he’s skimming through. “Did you find it?”

“Yeah, it was hidden in this secret compartment of this trunk they had.” I point at a trunk in the corner of the room. “Kind of like that one.”

Alex and I trade a curious look then we dash for the trunk, Alex swiping up the flashlight before winding around the stacks of books all over the floor. The trunk ends up being full of books and we take them out, checking the title of each one. When we reach the bottom, I push on the board, and just like the trunk at Marco and Sophia’s, the bottom pops up, and there is our book. A leather bound spine and an eye on the cover; the same kind of eye on the columns at the Room of Forbidden.

“So this is it.” I start to get to my feet, but Alex stays kneeling on the floor, staring into the trunk.

“What’s wrong?”

He reaches inside and removes another leather book with the initials A.A. engraved on the front of it.

“Is it yours?” I tuck the Foreseer book under my arm and sit down beside him

He swallows hard as he fans through the pages. “I think it’s my mother’s.” He looks lost as he pushes to his feet with the book in his hand. “I’m taking this with me.”

Nodding, I help him pile the books back into the trunk. “Should we clean up the rest of the mess?”

Alex shakes his head, his mood off from the discovery of the book. “There’s no point—”

The echo of a door slamming shut causes us to freeze.

“Shit,” Alex hisses and I can feel the fear pouring off him. “Someone’s here.”