Confessions at Midnight

Chapter Twenty

Daniel stared at the two men and forced his outward demeanor to remain calm-a marked contrast to his inner turmoil. He could barely comprehend that Gwendolyn was dead, let alone that Mayne and Rayburn suspected him of murder. They'd been suspicious after Blythe's death, Mayne especially, though he hadn't been overly concerned. But now…

He lifted his brows. "You really believe me capable of committing such crimes?"

"Given the right provocation, any man is capable of murder, my lord," Mayne said, his dark eyes never shifting from Daniel's face.

"Yourself included?" Daniel asked, his own gaze not wavering.

"Any man," Mayne reiterated.

"And what could possibly motivate me to kill two women, both of whom I was fond?"

"Perhaps you weren't as fond of them as you'd like us to believe," Mayne stated.

"You'd have a great deal of trouble proving that, especially as it isn't true. While the evidence seems to point to me-"

"There's no 'seems to' about it," Mayne broke in. "It does point to you. Only you."

"Very conveniently so," Daniel said. "Too conveniently. Surely it's occurred to you that someone is trying to make me look like the guilty party."

"That's what you said about Tolliver," Rayburn said. "He couldn't have murdered Lady Margate, as he's in custody."

"But he certainly could have killed Lady Crawford," Daniel said, striving to keep his annoyance in check. "And shot at me. Unless you think I shot at myself. Perhaps Tolliver arranged for someone else to kill Lady Margate in the same way as Lady Crawford. The man threatened me, wanted revenge on me. What better way than to see me ruined and hanged for murder?"

Rayburn frowned. "Then why try to shoot you?"

"Impatience perhaps?" Daniel suggested. "I've no idea the workings of a madman's mind."

"Who stands to inherit your title and properties should you die?" Mayne asked.

Daniel hesitated at the abrupt question, then said, "My younger half brother, Stuart. And after him, his younger brother, George."

"Half brothers?" said Rayburn.

"My father remarried after my mother's death."

"And how is your relationship with them?"

"Strained," Daniel admitted. "However, neither could be responsible, as they're on the continent. Have been for the past several months."

"And your stepmother?"

"Is with them."

"Inheriting an earldom is certainly motive," Mayne pointed out. "Any one of them could have traveled back to England."

"Very unlikely," Daniel said. "Their last letter to me arrived only a few days ago from Austria. They were having a delightful time and planned to journey to Italy from there."

"Sounds like a friendly letter considering your strained relationship," remarked Rayburn.

"They're always friendly when asking me for money," Daniel said dryly. "While both they and my stepmother are greedy and shallow, they're not murderers."

"Any other enemies?" Rayburn asked.

"None that I'm aware of, but it seems quite clear I have one. I trust you'll keep trying to discover his identity. As will I." Daniel rose. "If there's nothing else…" he said, glancing pointedly at the door.

Rayburn and Mayne departed, although it was obvious to Daniel that Mayne wanted nothing more than to confine him in shackles and drag him off to the hangman's noose. He guessed Mayne suspected he'd bent the truth about leaving the house last night, and that didn't bode well. The Runner clearly thought him guilty. Which meant that Mayne would be spending his time looking for evidence against him rather than searching for the real killer.

Bloody hell.

A disturbing thought tickled the back of his mind, and with a frown, he paced before the hearth. It was glaringly clear that someone was trying to frame him for murder. But who? And why? Both victims were previous lovers. His frown deepened. Actually, they were two of his most recent lovers. The only women he'd been with since Blythe and Gwendolyn were Kimberly and-

Carolyn.

He halted as if he'd walked into a wall. Was his enemy specifically targeting his former lovers? It seemed so-and what better way to cast suspicion on him? In which case, both Kimberly and Carolyn could be in danger. The thought of Kimberly in danger angered and concerned him. But the thought Carolyn in danger-

He felt as if his heart stopped beating. The thought of Carolyn in danger chilled him to the bone. Did his enemy know of his relationship with Carolyn? And then another thought hit him-one that froze his blood.

What if that shot the night before last wasn't meant for him but for Carolyn?

For several seconds his lungs ceased to function. He had no proof, but the churning in his gut told him he was right. Perhaps his earlier lovers might be in danger, but based on the pattern of the last two crimes, Kimberly and Carolyn were the next logical victims. He ran into the foyer and quickly told Samuel and Barkley about his conversation with Rayburn and Mayne.

"Wot bloody idiots, thinkin' ye could hurt those ladies," Samuel said, his eyes flashing.

"I agree, but that's not what's important right now. I need to warn Lady Walsh and Lady Wingate they might be in danger due to their… connection with me. Samuel, I want you to locate Rayburn and Mayne and tell them what I've told you. I don't know where they were going, but they'll eventually end up back at the Bow Street office."

"Yes, milord."

They left together, heading in opposite directions. When Daniel arrived at Carolyn's town house, Nelson said, "Lady Wingate is not at home."

Sick fear gripped Daniel. "Where is she?"

"At her sister's town house. Marchioness Langston called twice today, most anxious to speak with Lady Wingate. Lady Wingate remained at home only long enough to change clothes then departed."

"Are you certain she arrived safely?"

Nelson blinked. "Yes, my lord. She sent the carriage back, saying Lord Langston would see her home."

Relief loosened some of the tension gripping Daniel. He quickly related his concerns regarding Carolyn's safety to Nelson.

When he finished, the butler drew himself up to his full height and determination filled his eyes. "I'll inform the rest of the household, my lord. Rest assured we'll allow no harm to come to Lady Wingate."

"Excellent. I'm off now to warn Lady Wingate."

"But who will protect you, my lord?"

"I'm armed. And this bastard doesn't want to kill me-he wants me to hang for murder." And based on his interview with Mayne and Rayburn, if he didn't act quickly, the bastard would most likely succeed.

Daniel left and climbed into his carriage. Although he wanted to go immediately to Carolyn, his rational mind told him she was safe with Matthew. Kimberly's home was on the way to Matthew's town house, and she needed to be warned as well. After giving his coachman Kimberly's direction, he sat back and prayed he was wrong about the danger. But everything inside him told him he was right.

When he arrived at Kimberly's town house, he was relieved to find her at home. He was greeted warmly by her butler, Sanders, and as on his previous visits, was shown to her private sitting room. She entered several minutes later, wearing an exquisite cream lace negligee and matching robe.

"How lovely to see you," she said with a warm smile, holding out her hands. "I called on you earlier today and was sorry to have missed you. At your club, were you?"

He squeezed her hands then released them. "No. A quick jaunt to the country. Kimberly, there's something I must tell you."

"Then by all means, let us sit." She waved her hand toward the oversized sofa in front of the hearth. "Would you care for a brandy?"

"No, thank you. Nor do I wish to sit." He tersely told her everything, and watched her eyes widen with each sentence he spoke. When he finished, he asked, "Who is here to protect you besides Sanders?"

"James, and you know what a strapping young man my footman is."

"Good. Inform them both and do not go anywhere unescorted." He lightly clasped her upper arms. "Anywhere."

"I won't, but darling, you're scaring me." She reached and brushed her fingers over his tense jaw. "I'd feel much safer if you stayed with me."

He gave her shoulders an encouraging squeeze then released her. "I'm sorry, but I must go. I've every confidence in James and Sanders."

After extracting her promise to be careful, he departed, instructing his coachman to make haste to Matthew's town house. When he arrived, he was assured by Matthew's butler, Graham, that Lady Wingate was indeed there, visiting with Lady Langston, Lady Julianne, and Lady Emily in the marchioness's private sitting room. Daniel was about to demand to see her when Matthew strolled into the foyer.

"Seems to be our evening for visitors," he said with a smile that faded as he drew closer to Daniel. "Are you all right?"

Daniel shook his head. "I need to speak to Carolyn."

Matthew hesitated. "She's with Sarah, who's been very anxious to speak with her all day. Emily and Julianne arrived just before you." He turned to Graham. "When the ladies come downstairs, please tell them Lord Surbrooke and I await them in the drawing room."

"Yes, my lord."

Daniel was about to protest, but decided that since Carolyn was clearly safe, he could take this opportunity to fill Matthew in on the latest developments.

Matthew led him into the drawing room, and after closing the door behind them, immediately asked, "What's wrong, Daniel?"

He listened carefully while Daniel told him everything, concluding with, "Now I must warn Carolyn. If anything were to happen to her…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head, unable to contemplate such an outcome. "I want her safe. At all costs."

Matthew made no reply. Instead, he walked to the decanters and poured two generous brandies. After handing a crystal snifter to Daniel, he said, "I agree with your assessment that someone's trying to frame you, and is killing your former lovers in order to do so. But who is doing it and why?"

Daniel dragged his hands down his face. "I don't know. Since Gwendolyn's murder couldn't have been committed by Tolliver, I'm wondering if he either hired someone to commit the crime or perhaps had a silent business partner who is also facing financial ruin. Someone who would blame his difficulties on me for backing out of the deal."

"Perhaps." Matthew's gaze met his. "Have you considered your family?" he asked quietly. "There's no love lost between you, and they would certainly benefit from your demise."

A humorless sound escaped Daniel. "Mayne and Rayburn suggested the same thing. Perhaps if they were in London I'd be inclined to suspect them, but they're in Austria."

Matthew nodded slowly. "The suggestion of Tolliver having a silent partner is a good one, one we should have Rayburn and Mayne look into."

"Samuel is searching for them. As soon as I speak to them, I'll let them know." He pulled in a deep breath then admitted, "I wasn't entirely truthful with Mayne earlier, and I suspect he knows."

"About what?"

"He wanted to know my whereabouts last night. I told him I was home."

"But you weren't?"

"No."

When he didn't elaborate, Matthew said, "You were with Carolyn."

It wasn't a question and there was no point denying it, as Matthew knew him so well. He gave a tight nod then said, "I promised her discretion and had no intention of telling them something that is none of their business."

"Surely they'll guess the nature of your relationship once they learn you believe her to be in danger."

"Perhaps, but there was no way around telling them that. Still, I don't plan to admit to them that Carolyn and I are anything more than close friends, which is perfectly true. Anything else is none of their damn business."

"You were with Carolyn today as well?"

"Yes. I took her to Meadow Hill."

Matthew's brows rose at that. "I see. And how was your visit there?"

Emotional. Frightening. Cathartic.

Perfect.

"Enjoyable," he murmured. Not wishing to answer any more questions on that topic, he said, "Sarah was anxious to speak with Carolyn. Nothing is amiss, I hope."

"On the contrary, everything is wonderful. I'm going to be a father."

Based on his expression, there was no doubt Matthew was ecstatic. Daniel smiled and held out his hand, happy for his friend, but aware of a vague sense of emptiness tugging at him. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"You seem very calm."

"Actually, I've been a frenzy of anxiety ever since the doctor confirmed the pregnancy this morning. Both Sarah and the doctor assure me she's perfectly fit, and Sarah has forbid me to worry. She said if I intend to pace the floors until the babe arrives, she'll cosh me over the head with a skillet."

"Quite the violent streak your wife has."

"Apparently. Of course, even the threat of bodily harm won't keep me from worrying. I'm afraid worrying comes with the territory of loving someone." Matthew looked at him over the rim of his brandy snifter. "As you're finding out."

Daniel's own snifter halted halfway to his lips and his brows collapsed in a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Do you truly not know?"

"Know what?"

Matthew looked toward the ceiling then pinned his gaze on Daniel. "You're in love, you idiot."

An immediate denial sprang to Daniel's lips, but when he opened his mouth no sound came forth. In love? Surely not. But the instant he tried to deny it, he realized with stunning clarity it was true. That's what this bone-deep wanting, needing, and yearning was. This unfamiliar aching, twisting, gut wrenching plethora of emotions that ran the gamut from happiness to misery.

He was in love.

The knowledge hit him with the force of a plank upside his head. Good God, this was worse than he'd thought. Had he believed he was only losing a small bit of his heart to Carolyn? What a jest! He'd lost the entire thing. And his soul as well.

He set down his brandy then walked to the sofa, where he sat down heavily. Tunneling his fingers through his hair, he looked up at Matthew and said in a dazed voice that seemed to come from very far away, "Bloody hell, you're right."

"That you're in love? I know."

"That I'm an idiot." Daniel rested his head in his hands and groaned. "How did this happen? And how do I make it go away?"

Matthew chuckled. "I imagine it happened in the usual manner-you discovered someone who… completes you. As for making it go away, I know from experience that you can't. It's not dyspepsia after all." He settled himself in the wing chair across from Daniel. "And why would you want to? Carolyn is a lovely woman."

Daniel raised his head. "Yes, she is. But she isn't in love with me. She still worships her dead husband. Her heart will always belong to him. She's made no secret of that." A humorless sound escaped him at the irony. He'd never before wanted a woman's heart, and had certainly never intended to give his away. And what happened? He lost his heart to a woman who didn't want it and had no intention of giving him hers.

He blew out a long breath. "What a bloody mess."

"Perhaps she'll change her mind," Matthew said.

Daniel shook his head. "No. Edward was the love of her life. She adored him. Still does. No man could aspire to scale the pedestal upon which she's put him."

"It's obvious she cares for you."

"Yes, I'm sure she does, but in a lukewarm way compared to her feelings for Edward."

And he knew, in his heart, that would never be enough for him. He could accept her loving memories of Edward-he wouldn't begrudge her the things that made her happy-but neither could he bear not to be first in her affections. To know that Edward's ghost always stood between them. That comparisons would always be made and he would always come out lacking.

For his own sake, he needed to end his affair with her. Now. Before he did something stupid and made an ass of himself. Like telling her he loved her. Or asking her to marry him. Or worse, begging her to do so. The only thing he could think of that was worse than not seeing love in her eyes would be seeing pity in them.

"Damn it all, why would anyone actually want to fall in love?" he asked.

"It's an incredible thing when you find the right person," Matthew said softly.

Yes, the right person being someone who loved you as deeply as you loved them. Unfortunately that hadn't happened to him. And this unrequited, one-sided emotional hell was nothing short of torture.

"We're going to have to rename our group the Ladies Literary Society-Plus One Baby," Carolyn said, giving Sarah a hug after her announcement that she was expecting a child. Sarah's happy news had enabled her to shove aside her own sadness over foolishly allowing herself to love a man who wanted no part of love. "I cannot wait to be an aunt."

"Neither can I," Julianne and Emily said in unison.

"Well, you're all going to have to help me keep Matthew in check," Sarah said, pushing up her glasses, "because I can already see he's going to render us both insane. He didn't even want me to climb the stairs!" She looked toward the ceiling. "If I don't nip his masculine panic in the bud right now, this is going to be a very long pregnancy indeed."

Carolyn reached out and squeezed her hand. "Be happy that the man you love is so devoted and caring, Sarah. There is no greater gift." And no greater pain than when you are in love alone.

"Speaking of great gifts," said Julianne, "did anyone happen to notice that Mr. Gideon Mayne, the Bow Street Runner, attended Lord and Lady Exbury's soiree last evening?"

"Yes," said Emily. "He was there with Mr. Rayburn."

"They are hoping to find clues regarding Lady Crawford's murder," added Carolyn. "But what does Mr. Mayne have to do with great gifts?"

Julianne looked around the room, as if making certain no one else was present to hear what she was about to share. Then she said, her eyes glowing, "Ever since he came to our home to question me and Mother after the masquerade, I… well, I haven't been able to stop thinking about him."

"A Bow Street Runner?" Emily said, her eyes agog with shock. "Good heavens, Julianne. Your mother would succumb to apoplexy, and for once I'd have to agree with her. A Runner! He is completely unacceptable. So common. And so coarse and hard-looking. Why he's almost as bad as that dreadful Mr. Jennsen."

Julianne raised her chin. "I think Mr. Mayne looks dashing and dangerous and exciting."

"He most likely is dangerous," Sarah broke in. "Certainly his occupation is."

Carolyn patted Julianne's hand. "While there's no denying he's attractive, it would be most unwise to entertain romantic thoughts about a man with whom you could never have a romance." She inwardly winced at the irony of her advice. "Personally, I think it's our reading of the Memoirs that has us all in a dither. I think for our next book selection, we need to choose something of a less salacious nature."

Sarah grinned. "Now what would be the fun in that?"

Carolyn smiled in return, but in her heart she couldn't help but feel that reading the Memoirs had set her on this disastrous path that led straight to heartbreak.

A wave of weariness washed through her, exacerbated by her emotional day and lack of sleep. She rose and said, "I don't wish to break up this gathering, but I'm exhausted."

Sarah looked at her and frowned. "You look tired. Are you all right?"

No. Everything hurts. My heart most of all. She forced a smile. "I'm fine. Just in need of sleep. Will I see you all tomorrow at Lady Pelfield's soiree?"

"Matthew and I will be there," Sarah said.

"Me, too," both Julianne and Emily said.

After giving hugs and kisses, Carolyn quit the room and made her way down the stairs. When she arrived in the foyer, Graham said, "His lordship is in the drawing room, Lady Wingate. This way, please."

She'd expected the butler to simply tell Matthew she was ready to leave, but obviously he wanted her to follow him. Pressing her fingers against her temple to ward off the headache brewing there, she walked down the corridor. After Graham announced her at the door to the drawing room, she entered, saw Matthew and smiled, hoping she didn't look as tired as she felt.

"Sarah told me the happy news," she said, offering her brother-in-law her hands then leaning in to kiss his cheek. "I'm so happy for you both."

"Thank you." He looked over her shoulder and she turned. And stilled at the sight of Daniel standing before the fire.

"Hello, Carolyn," he said, both his expression and tone grave.

Her heart turned over in that same way it always seemed to whenever she laid eyes on him. "Daniel. Are you here to share in Matthew and Sarah's good news?"

"No. I'm here to talk to you."

Before she could express her surprise, Matthew said, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if there is anything my lovely wife requires. Daniel has offered to escort you home. Is that all right? It would allow me to remain with Sarah."

"Yes, of course." She offered him the best smile she could muster. "But there's no need for concern. She's not doing anything more strenuous than talking to Julianne and Emily."

"Good. That means I can cease worrying for perhaps thirty seconds." He quit the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Daniel walked toward her, and anticipating a kiss, her heart sped up. It wasn't until he drew nearer that she noticed the lines of fatigue and worry etched around his eyes. Recalling how emotional he'd been earlier, sympathy tugged at her. "Are you all right?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. We must talk." He took her hand and led her to the sofa. She relished the warmth of his palm touching to hers and fought back the encroaching pain that threatened to overwhelm her at the realization that soon she would no longer be holding his hand.

After they were seated she listened in stunned disbelief as he told her all that had transpired after he'd left her at her town house. When he finished she remained silent for a full minute, taking it all in.

Two of Daniel's former lovers dead. Daniel suspected of committing the crimes. His belief she was in danger. Finally she said, "I cannot believe Lady Margate is dead." She pressed her lips together. "Or that those two nincompoops think you could possibly be responsible."

A tired smile lifted one corner of his mouth. "I appreciate your outrage on my behalf."

She clasped his hand between hers. "Daniel, as much as I appreciate you trying to keep my name out of this, you must tell Mr. Mayne where you were last night."

He shook his head. "The only thing he needs to know is that I wasn't off killing anyone."

She raised her chin. "I don't want him to have any reason to doubt you. If you don't tell him, I will."

His gaze roamed her face and she wished she could read his thoughts. "You realize that if you do so, word of our affair most likely will leak out."

"Then so be it. That is certainly preferable to having the magistrate and Mr. Mayne believe you guilty of murder. And given your determination to protect me, they'll surely guess."

"But will only know that my concern for you springs from our close friendship. It's not necessary to bring your name into this and subject you to gossip. Rayburn and Mayne won't find evidence to charge me with crimes I didn't commit."

"Whoever is trying to frame you will no doubt try to fabricate some sort of evidence against you. The killer has already managed to cast suspicion upon you." She shook her head. "Your intention to protect me, while honorable, is unacceptable. When Mr. Rayburn and Mr. Mayne come to interview me, as I know they shall, I'm going to tell them the truth, Daniel."

He didn't look pleased, but to her relief he didn't argue further. Instead he said, "We need to ensure your safety. I want your word that you won't go anywhere alone until the killer is apprehended."

"I promise I won't." She rose. "But I want to leave here. Now. If I'm truly in danger, I don't want to risk it following me to Sarah's home."

He rose as well, and for the space of a several heartbeats they looked at each other. Less than an arm's length separated them. He looked so tired and troubled. Everything in her cried out, wanting to hold him, touch him. Be held and touched by him. She'd planned to make love with him once more, but now realized she simply couldn't. For if she did, she'd never be able to let him go. Would never survive walking away. Would do something foolish like beg him to love her. And stay with her forever.

Her better judgment told her to resist touching him, that every caress would only make saying good-bye that much more difficult. But need overwhelmed her, and she leaned toward him.

With a low groan that sounded agonized, Daniel jerked her against him and crushed his mouth down on hers. His kiss tasted of desperation and fear. Worry and frustration. And deep, hot desire. She clung to him, pressing herself closer, branding in her memory the feel of his hard body tight against hers. The warm, intoxicating taste of his kiss. The thick, silky texture of his hair. The delicious, unforgettable scent that belonged to him alone.

Where she found the strength to pull away, she'd never know. How she wished she were like the Anonymous Lady and able to keep her heart free! They looked at each other, both breathing hard, and she knew that for her own self-preservation she had to tell him. Tonight.

Once they were seated in his carriage and on their way to her home, she licked her suddenly dry lips and said, "Daniel, I've been thinking about our… arrangement."

Sitting across from her, he regarded her through hooded but watchful eyes. "Yes?"

And she forced out the words she knew she had to say. The words that would break her heart nonetheless. "I… I think it best if we don't see each other in… that way anymore."

The loudest silence she'd ever heard filled the carriage. His expression remained completely blank, but then something flickered in his eyes and for one insane moment she wondered if he might refuse. Might tell her that he wouldn't, couldn't, consider such a thing because he'd unexpectedly fallen in love with her. And couldn't imagine not being with her.

Instead, he simply asked, "Why?"

Because I love you and I can't bear that you don't love me. Because I have to try to protect whatever tiny piece of my heart you haven't stolen. "While I've no qualms admitting to the authorities that we were together last night, I have no wish for my life to be gossip fodder, and if we continue, you know it shall be." She attempted a lighthearted expression. "Our affair had to end eventually. Given the circumstances, this is that time."

Again silence swelled between them and she held her breath. Then he jerked his head in quick nod. "You're right, of course. Our affair had to end eventually."

His words ruthlessly extinguished that foolish flicker of hope. That he accepted her decision so lightly proved that in the end she'd meant nothing more to him than another sexual conquest. And proved beyond any doubt that she'd made the right decision. Still, being right didn't mean she didn't hurt. Pain and a deep despair she'd hoped never to experience again sawed through her.

Something must have shown on her face because he asked softly, "What are you thinking?"

As she'd done so many times in the past, she pushed her heartache to the back of her mind, to be taken out and examined later, when she was alone. And could cry.

"I was thinking about Edward," she answered honestly.

A shutter seemed to fall over his eyes, and he said nothing in reply.

They arrived at her town house a few minutes later and he escorted her inside. Nelson reported that nothing untoward had occurred in their absence and that he would keep watch at the front door through the night.

"I'll arrange for someone to guard the back of the house," Daniel told her. "You'll recall your promise not to go anywhere alone until this madman is apprehended."

"You have my word."

He looked as if he wanted to say something more, and her breath caught. He reached out and raised her hand to his mouth. Brushed his lips against the back of her gloved fingers. And then he did say something else.

"Good-bye, Carolyn."

Without another word he turned and left. And her heart shattered into a million brittle fragments.