The whine of a bench grinder filled the garage and filtered into Jack's office as he glanced over the master-partslist for the fifty-four Corvette; he simultaneously thumbed through Polaroids snapped of each part taken off thecar so far. Everything from the chrome to the screws holding the taillight buckets had been cataloged andcarefully stored away. The Blue Flame Six engine had been plucked from the cavity and would be torn downand steam-cleaned later. All rubber parts would have to be completely replaced as well as the leather interior.
The fifty-four was supposedly a bitch to drive, but that was beside the point. The late and great Harley Earl haddesigned the sports car in his typical flamboyant style. The car had been designed for show rather than go.
Jack tossed the photographs aside and stood. That morning they'd removed the windshield and discovered morerust damage than he'd anticipated.
The damage would have to be cut away and the brace rebuilt. He grabbed the Dodge Viper coffee mug thatLacy Dawn had given him for his birthday and walked from his office into the reception area.
Penny Cribs didn't come in until ten-thirty on Monday mornings, and a stack of mail sat on her empty desk. Herefilled his coffee, and as he moved from the outer office into the garage, the noise from the bench grinderstopped. Jack blew into his mug and looked up at Billy who stood at the workbench. His safety glasses werepushed up his forehead, and he held a brake rotor in one hand. A skinny teenager stood talking to him, and theyboth turned as Billy pointed in Jack's direction.
Jack stopped in his tracks. The boy looked to be in his mid-teens and had a dog chain around his neck and onehanging down the side of his pants. He said something to Billy, then began walking toward Jack. Jack caught aglimpse of Billy's bemused smile before he turned his attention to the boy. He took a drink of his coffee andlowered the mug.
He'd always hired boys over the summer to sweep up or run for parts. But if this kid wanted a job, he was out ofluck. Not so much because of the way he looked, but because he didn't have the sense to dress better and leavethe chains on his dog when he went job hunting.
He had hair like a hedgehog, dark with white spikes on the ends. His bottom lip was pierced near one cornerand his black T-shirt said anarchy in bloody red letters. He held a skateboard beneath one arm, and his jeans fitso loose, if he stood up straight, they'd fall down around his ankles.
"Can I help you?" Jack asked as the kid came to stand in front of him.
"Yeah. My mom told me you knew my dad?"
Jack knew a lot of dads. "Who's your mother?" he asked and took another drink of his coffee.
"Daisy Monroe."
The coffee scalded the back of his throat and he lowered it. Daisy hadn't left town.
"I don't know if the ever mentioned me. I'm... his voice cracked and he swallowed hard. "I'm Nathan."
Whatever he'd expected Daisy and Steven's kid to look like, this was not it. First off, he'd thought their childwas much younger. "She mentioned she had a son, but I thought you were about five."
A frown pulled his dark brows, and he stared at Jack through clear blue eyes. He looked a little confused like hedidn't know how someone could mistake him with a five-year-old. "No. I'm fifteen."
The kid must have been conceived shortly after Steven and Daisy. got married. The thought of Steven andDaisy together conjured up a long buried animosity and bothered him more than it should have. More than ithad a few days ago, before he'd made love to her on the trunk of the car just a few feet from where her sonstood. Before he knew how good it was to be with her again. "I take it your mom is still in town?"
"Yeah." He stared at Jack as if he expected him to say something more. When he didn't, the boy added, "We'restaying with my grandma until my aunt Lily gets better. My mom thinks that might take a week or so."
He'd wondered what had taken place to make Daisy run from his kitchen Saturday. "What happened to youraunt?"
"She drove her car into Ronnie's living room."
Damn, he guessed fighting in front of the Minute Mart hadn't been enough revenge for Lily. "Is she going to beokay?"
"I guess."
The grinder started once more and Jack showed Nathan into his office and shut the door against the noise. Evenif Nathan had come dressed properly for a job interview, having Daisy's kid work in his shop would be anightmare. Seeing him would remind Jack of Daisy. And no matter how sweet that particular memory, it wasover and best forgotten.
"Your dad and I were good friends at one time. I was sorry to hear about his death."
Nathan set the tip of his skateboard by his black sneaker and leaned it against his leg. On closer inspection theunderside of the board had a scantily dressed nurse painted on it. "Yeah. He was a good dad. I miss him a lot"
Jack had lost his father when he hadn't been much older than Nathan. He knew what it was like. Giving the kidan application to take with him wouldn't hurt. "Did he ever tell you about all the trouble he and I used to getinto?"
Nathan nodded and the fluorescent lighting shined on his lip ring. "He told me about you guys stealing rottentomatoes and throwing them at cars."
Steven had been blond, like a California surfer. Maybe it was the hair but this kid didn't look like Steven hadgrowing up. Not even a little bit. Didn't look a whole lot like his mother either Maybe around the mouth. Well,except for the lip ring. "We made a tree fort in his backyard. Did he tell you about that?"
Nathan shook his head.
"It took us one whole summer. We made it out of wood we scrounged and old cardboard boxes." He smiled atthe memory of them dragging home junk from miles away. "Your mom helped us, too. Then just when wefinished, an F2 twister blew it all to hell."
Nathan laughed and motioned toward the door with his head. "Is that a 'Cuda 440-6 out there?"
"Yeah, it's got the original 426 Hemi."
"Sweet. When I get a job, I'm gonna buy a Dodge Charger Daytona with a 426 Hemi."
Now it was Jack's turn to laugh. He sat on the edge of his desk next to his Buick Riviera clock. He didn't wantto rain on the kid's parade, but only about seventy Daytonas with a 426 Hemi had ever been produced. If he didmanage to find one, it was going to run him about sixty grand. "Four-speed, right?"
"Yeah."
He took a drink. Naturally. The kid had just narrowed his odds even further considering Dodge had only put outabout twenty four-speeds.
"I saw one once at a car show in Seattle." Nathan swallowed and his voice cracked with excitement. "TheDaytona held the closed-course-track speed record for thirteen years. Ford and Chevy couldn't touch it."
Lord, he was just like Billy - and like Jack's father, Ray, had been. Blinded by speed. Jack loved fast cars too,but not like those two. How had Steven and daisy managed to produce a gear head?
"Do you watch 'Monster Garage'?"
"Occasionally." Billy was the "Monster Garage" fanatic.
"Did you see the episode where they turned a NASCAR into a street sweeper?"
"No, I missed that one." But he'd heard all about it from Billy.
"It was tight."
Tight? Jack supposed that meant good.
Billy stuck his head in the door as Jack crossed his feet. "We've got a problem with the right-front rotor on thatPlymouth."
There was always a problem with something, and Jack had learned not to sweat it long ago. "Billy come on inhere and meet Steven and Daisy Monroe's boy, Nathan."
Billy came farther into the office wearing his dark blue shirt that buttoned up the front and had a ParrishAmerican Classic's patch on the left breast pocket. Jack introduced them and they shook hands. Billy spokefirst, "I was real sorry to hear about your dad. He was a good guy."
Nathan looked down at his shoes. "Yeah"
"Billy here loves 'Monster Garage," Jack said and the two of them jumped into a discussion about whichepisodes were the best and which ones weren't.
"Turning that PT Cruiser into a wood chipper was lame," Nathan said.
"Jesse James wasn't into that one until they started feedin' stuffed animals through the chipper."
"Yeah, heh-heh-heh," Nathan laughed, tilting his head back a bit. "They blew stuffing all over the place."
"Did you see the Barbie get stuck in there?" Billy's eyes shined with humor and he laughed too, a rapid heh-heh-heh.
Christ, Jack thought, Billy had finally found someone who loved to watch "Monster Garage" as much as he did.
"Did you catch the episode with the Grim Reaper?" his brother asked.
"Yeah, that would have been tight if it'd worked."
Billy shook his head. "They smoked the first belt and the pump got too hot before they even got any of thecylinders to move those hydraulic arms."
"I heard a theory that the hearse was haunted and that's why the mission failed."
The mission failed because the hydraulics failed."
"Did you see Jesse when the ambulance caught on fire?" Nathan asked, so excited his eyes shined with it. "Thatwas cool."
"That's my favorite episode."
"Did you see his wife screaming at him?"
They both started to laugh at the same time.
Billy's voice was lower, but Jack couldn't help but notice that their laughter was real similar. The same heh-heh-heh sound, and they both tipped theft heads back at the same angle. The longer he looked at the two of themstanding side by side swapping "Monster Garage" moments, the clearer he saw beyond Nathan's bizarre hairand the lip ring.
Then within the span of a second, the world around Jack shifted and changed. The hair on the back of his neckrose and his scalp got tight. Time ground to a halt, cracked down the middle, and fell in halves.
A half-second ago, everything had been okay in Jack's life, and in the next it wasn't. One half he'd been noticinghis brother and Nathan laughing and sounding alike, and in the next he was looking at a fifteen-year-old versionof his father, Ray Parrish. For half a second he'd been sitting on the edge of his desk and in the next he wasstanding with coffee down the front of his shirt, scalding his chest. "Christ!.
"What's the matter?" Billy asked.
He didn't take his gaze from Nathan. He looked at the shape of his face and nose, and there was no turning backthe clock to a few seconds ago. He was definitely looking at a young version of his father. It was so obvious, hedidn't know why it had taken him so long to see it. "You didn't come here for a job, did you?"
Nathan's smile fell and he picked up his skateboard. "No."
Suddenly, it all made perfect sense. Daisy's insistence that they talk. That she had something to tell him.
Something she couldn't talk about on the phone or in a letter or at Showtime Pizza. Something important like ason. He felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. "When is your birthday?"
"I've got to go now."
He reached out and grabbed Nathan's arm. "Tell me."
Nathan's eyes got wide and he dropped his skateboard. He tried to backup, but Jack didn't let go. He couldn't.
"December," he finally answered.
Jack pulled him even closer. "And you're fifteen aren't you?"
He could see Nathan's throat work as he tried to swallow. "Yes," he said just above a whisper.
On some level Jack knew he frightened Nathan and that he should let go. He should calm down, but he couldn't.
Thoughts raced through his head until it felt like something was squeezing his brain. "Son of a bitch."
Billy grabbed a hold of Jack's shoulder and stepped between him and Nathan. "What's the matter with you?
Have you lost your mind?"
Yes. He'd lost his mind. He let go and Nathan took off so fast, it was like he'd never been there. Except that hisskateboard was still on the floor. Nurse - side up.
Jack stared after him. "Didn't you see it, Billy?"
"All I see is you acting crazy."
He shook his head and turned to his brother. "He looks like dad."
"Who?"
"Nathan. Daisy's son."
"Daisy and Steven's son."
Jack pointed to the empty doorway. "Did he look like Steven to you?"
"I don't really remember what Steven looked like, to tell you the truth."
"Not like our dad." He set the mug on his desk. He had a son. No. Impossible. He'd always used contraceptives.
But not always with Daisy. They'd been young and stupid and still believed nothing bad would ever affect them.
"She was pregnant when she left and she didn't tell me."
Billy put his hands up. "Wait, I never even knew the two of you were involved back then. And even if youwere, how do you know he's your kid?"
"You're not listening to me." He scrubbed his face with his hands. "There's a picture. A picture of dad when hegraduated high school. He looks just like that kid." He dropped his hand to his sides. "That's why she's here," hespoke his thoughts out loud as if they made better sense that way, when in reality, they made no sense at all. "Totell me about him"
"This is crazy. He's fifteen."
Yes. It was crazy. Crazy as hell to think he had a fifteen-year-old son. A son he'd never known about becausehe'd never been told. "I'm right, Billy."
Billy stepped in front of him and looked him in the eye. "You better make damn sure you're right before you gograbbing that kid and scaring him again. You don't know for sure he's yours, but even if he is, he might notknow it."
Billy was right. "I didn't mean to scare him."
Movement beyond Billy caught Jack's attention and he looked through the open doorway at Penny.
He pushed by his brother and said on his way past the secretary, "I'm going out for a while."
He walked out the back of the garage, across the driveway, to his house. He went straight to a spare room thatused to belong to Billy and he opened the closet crammed with boxes. He pulled out one after the other anddumped them on the floor. Old trophies and magazines, keepsakes from his and Billy's childhood that theirmother had carefully packed away, fell everywhere.
"What are we looking for?" Billy asked as he picked up a box.
Jack hadn't even realized Billy had followed. "Mom and Dad's old wedding album. The picture is in theirwedding album."
They found the album in the fifth box they opened. The outside was covered in lace and silk flowers, the girlystuff his mother had favored. The lace had yellowed, the flowers flattened; Jack flipped it open. Inside, thepages had lost their slickness and the photographs behind the loose cellophane slid together. The picture Jacksearched for fell at his feet, and he knelt to pick up the black-and-white photo of his father at the age ofseventeen. In one corner of the picture, his father had written in faded black ink, To my favorite girl Carolee,Love Ray.
Jack stood and stared at the photo. He hadn't imagined it. Give his father hedgehog hair and a lip ring, and he'dlook a hell of a lot like Nathan Monroe. Only he wasn't Nathan Monroe. He was a Parrish.
Billy came to stand behind Jack and he looked over his shoulder. His low whistle sounded louder than usual inthe empty room. "Do you think Steven knew?" Jack shrugged. She'd been three months pregnant at some point Steven had to have known. He walked out of the bedroom and down the hail into the kitchen. He opened a cabinet and pulled Steven's letter from where he'd place it Saturday. With the photograph of his father still in one hand, he tore open the envelope and read: "Jack, Please excuse my handwriting and misspellings As my illness progresses it gets more difficult for me toconcentrate. It is my hope that you never see this letter That I beat this disease and tell you these things inperson once I am well again. If not, I want to write down my thoughts before I am unable.
Let me begin by saying simply that I have missed you, Jack. I don't know if you have missed me orforgiven me but I have missed my buddy. There have been many times in the past fifteen years when I havewanted to call and talk to you. Many times I have laughed by myself thinking of the things we used to do. Theother day I saw two boys riding their bikes in the rain and I remembered the many times we used to ride ourbikes in real toad-stranglers Riding around Lovette, finding the deepest puddles to ride through. Or the timessitting on my mother's sofa, watching the old Andy Griffith shows, and laughing our asses off when Barneylocked himself in jail. I think that is when I miss you the most when I laugh alone. And I know it is my fault.
There have been many times I have felt the loneliness of losing you, my friendI have never forgotten the last time we saw each other and the horrible things we said. I married Daisy, and youloved her. But I loved her too, Jack I still do. After all these years I love her as much as the day I married her. Iknow she loves me. I know she has always loved me and yet some times she gets a very far away look in hereyes, and I wonder if she is thinking about you. I wonder if she is thinking that she is sorry she chose to comewith me to Seattle. I wonder if she thinks what her life might have been like with you, and I wonder if she stillloves you like she did. If is any consolation, then know that I have suffered a bit hell because I know how muchshe loved you once and perhaps still does.
The night we left Lovette, Daisy was three months pregnant with your child. She's no doubt told you all ofthis by now when she came to me and told me she was carrying your baby, she was very afraid and believedthat you didn't love her any longer. I let her believe it even though I knew it probably wasn't true. She believednot telling you about the baby was for the best. She didn't think you could handle the pressure of having a childat that time in your life. I let her believe that too. I told her that she was right, that you couldn't, but I knew itwasn't true. I knew you could do anything you set your mind to doing. So I married her and took her away fromyou. I know that I should regret what I did, but I can't. I don't regret one day that I spent with her and Nathan.
But I do regret the way in which things were done and not telling you about Nathan sooner.
Nathan is a good boy. He is a lot like you. Fearless and inpatient and buries everything deep. I know thatDaisy will do her absolute to raise him, but I believe he needs you. It has been my pleasure to raise him, and ofall my regrets in this life, and there are many, I regret that I will not get to see him grow into a man. I wouldhave liked to have seen that.
In closing, I ask that you forgive me, Jack. I know that is perhaps asking too much of you, but I'm aski9nganyway. I am asking so you can let go the bitterness and go on with your life. On a purely selfish level, I amasking with the hope that you will forgive me so that I can die with a clearer conscience. And so that when I seeyou on the other side, we can embrace as fiends once more. If you can't forgive me, I understand. I don't knowthat I could ever forgive you if I were in your place. I took a lot from you, Jack. But maybe you can occasionallylook back and laugh at the good times we had together.
StevenThe letter and photograph of his father fell to the counter as Jack struggled to catch his breath. His insides feltsliced up, just as they had fifteen years ago.
"Is he yours?"
Jack nodded.
"That's goddamn evil," Billy said. "She's a damn evil bitch."For years he'd felt betrayal because his best buddy had married his girlfriend. He hadn't even known the half ofit. It had never occurred to him that when they left, they'd taken his child. It had not occurred to him that thebetrayal ran so deep.
"What are you going to do?"
He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from the waistband of his pants. "Talk to Daisy."
"I thought you just said she was an evil bitch.""She is. I'm not even going to ask you if you want to be a part of Nathan's life, because I know You. I knowhow you are. I know that you're hurt and angry, and you have every damn right to feel that way. But she's hismama and she could just pack him up and take him away."For years he'd pushed it back and locked it away. He'd walled up all the pain and anger. Since Daisy had beenback, it had seeped out a little. But nothing like this morning. This morning the walls he'd built were blown allto hell.
"Jack, promise you won't go medieval?"
He wasn't promising a damn thing.