Daisy's back in town

Chapter Six

Jack was late. He'd waited until that morning to call Rhonda and ask what to get Lacy for her birthday. Rhondatold him she wanted something called a Kitty Magic. She told him to make sure it was a Kitty Magic and not aFur Real Friends. According to Rhonda the latter didn't nurse her babies. Then she wished him luck finding it.

He'd called around to the few stores in Lovett that carried toys, and ended up driving into Amarillo. He'd spentthe afternoon looking for the damned thing, and finally found it in one of the last stores he'd walked into.

He'd stood in the aisle, reading the back of the box, making sure he had the right one, and feeling the back of hisskull tighten. The pink Mommy Kitty had long fur and two fluffy kittens. The three of them had toys andmatching bows for their heads and god-awful heart-shaped sunglasses.

He'd kept reading and uttered, "For the love of Christ." According to the box the mother cat purred and said, "Ilove you" and made nursing sounds when one of the kittens was stuck to her side.

What the hell was a nursing sound? he'd wondered.

Jack had the present wrapped in bright pink paper with fairies on it. A big iridescent pink bow about the size ofhis head was taped on top. The bow was beyond frilly, but Billy's girls loved that kind of crap.

The kind of girl stuff that had been completely foreign to him and his brother growing up. They'd played withcars and BB guns and had set their army men on fire. They'd been hell on wheels, but as soon as Billy's first girlhad been born, Billy had taken to baby dolls, Barbie sneakers, and pink tutus like a duck to water. He made it alllook easy and natural while Jack was left watching and wondering where Billy's paternal instincts had comefrom. Jack didn't have any At least he didn't think he did. Although he was learning fast, he didn't know verymuch about little girls. Maybe because until Amy Lynn, he'd never been around little girls. Except Daisy, and ifshe'd played with dolls, and dressed up like a fairy princess as Billy's girls did, she'd done it with her friendsthat were girls. Not with him and Steven.

He pulled open the door to Showtime and stepped inside. He hadn't seen Daisy for four days. Hopefully she'dgiven up on her plan to pin him down and make him relive the past. Hopefully she'd left town.

The inside of Showtime was a collision of bright color and sound - of flashing arcade games directly at eyelevel, and those big plastic tubes that kids climbed through overhead. Of bells and sirens and screamingchildren. Jack had been here once before, on Amy Lynn's birthday, and he wondered how anyone worked herewithout going insane.

He moved to the dining room and discovered that it was relatively quiet-for now. He knew that would allchange once the show started. He found his brother and Rhonda and the girls sitting at a round table near thestage.

And Daisy.

About ten feet from the table, he stopped in his tracks. Daisy Monroe had managed to get herself invited to hisniece's party.

She'd tracked him down. She'd told him she'd become his worst nightmare. It hadn't been an idle threat. Hisanger rose but he pushed it back. Controlled it for now. She didn't belong here. With his family.

His gaze moved to the woman sitting next to Daisy. He recognized Lily, and he supposed the kid with themullet belonged to one of them. The boy had some sort of pudding on his face like someone had been feedinghim with a slingshot. He wondered if the kid belonged to Daisy and Steven.

"Uncle Jack!" five-year-old Amy Lynn yelled. She jumped up from her chair and ran toward him. The birthdaygirl, three-year-old Lacy ran toward him too. Lacy tended to watch her feet while she ran, and he picked her upwith his free arm to keep her from head-butting him in the nuts. "Hey there," he said. "Someone feels like she'sthree years old today."

"Me," she said and held up three fingers.

"I'm still five," Amy Lynn told him and wrapped her arms around his leg.

As he approached the table with Amy Lynn on his leg and Lacy in one arm, Billy glanced up from the dark-haired baby on his knee and smiled. "Hey, Jack, look who's in town."

Daisy looked at him, her brown eyes sparkling. She'd pulled her smooth hair back in a ponytail and her full lipswere a soft shiny pink. She wore a tight green tank top with the name Ralph Lauren in black across her breasts.

"You didn't tell Billy I was back in town," she scolded, as a smile curved that mouth of hers.

Jack stood Lacy in her chair. His brother didn't know his history with Daisy. Billy'd been too young and itwasn't something that Jack had ever wanted to talk about. Not even with his brother. Billy probablyremembered her, though. Growing up, she'd been over at theft house a lot. He probably thought they were stillfriends. Probably thought Jack'd be slaphappy to see her. "It must have escaped my mind," he said as Amy Lynnlet go of him and took her seat.

Daisy laughed, very amused with herself, and that bumped up his anger a notch. "You remember my sisterLily?" she asked.

"Of course. How are you?"

Lily came out from behind the table and gave him a big hug as he set the present on the table. "I've been better."

She looked a lot like Daisy, only with blue eyes. A lot like she had growing up, only for some reason she lookedterminally pissed off now.

"How're you, Jack?"

He looked over her head at Daisy. "I've been better."

"This is Lily's son Pippen."

So, the kid belonged to Lily. For some reason, he was relieved that the boy with the mullet wasn't Daisy andSteven's. But he couldn't begin to understand why he should care.

Lily stepped back and shook her head. "You look as good as you always did."

"Thanks, Lily. You do too," he said, and meant it.

"Hey, Rhonda"- his sister-in-law had I haven't had sleep in five years smudges under her dark brown eyes _"You okay, girl? Billy tells me you had a hard night."

"I was up most of it with Tanya. She has an earache, but we got a bottle of the pink medicine today, so she'sfeeling better."

Billy pulled the baby's sock up her pudgy leg.

We yanked the 'Vette engine while you were gone today."

He pulled out a chair between Lacy and Rhonda and across from Daisy and Lily. "Did you get a look at theclutch?"

"You were right," Billy said. "It needs to be completely replaced."

"I found one in Reno," he told his brother.

"How was Tallahassee?" Daisy asked him.

"When were you in Tallahassee?" Billy wanted to know.

"Last year."

Daisy's eyes rounded and her mouth fell open. "You lied to me."

He smiled as he leaned forward and poured himself a Dr. Pepper from a pitcher. She gave him that grow upglare like she had the other night, then she turned to his brother.

"Do you mind if I hold Tanya?"

"Not at all." Billy handed her over the baby, and Daisy stood Tanya in her lap. Jack half expected the six-month-old to start screaming, instead she laughed and pinched Daisy's cheek.

"Look, Pippen," Daisy said to the kid in the high chair beside her. "Isn't Tanya just a sweet little love muffin?"

"No!"

"Can I open my pez-ent from Uncle Jack?" Lacy asked in her tiny three-year-old voice.

"It's okay with me if it's okay with your Uncle Jack," Rhonda answered.

"Have at it kid," he said, although he would have preferred that Daisy wasn't sitting across the table when thatstupid cat present was opened. Why he should give a shit, though, he didn't know that either.

Lacy tore off the bow and chucked it behind her shoulder. She ripped the paper and gasped as she tossed theshredded remains on the floor. "Kitty Magic! My fav-rut thing in the world!"

"Hey, that's what you said this morning when you got your Barbie Power Wheels," Billy reminded her.

Lily leaned across the table, and she and Rhonda chatted about what they'd been doing since high school. WhileLacy and Amy Lynn took the cat and her kittens out of the box, the two women talked about kids and theftlives; and when Lily said something about "Ronnie the Rat Bastard," Jack took it to mean she was getting adivorce. It also explained why she looked terminally pissed.

He took a long drink of his Dr. Pepper and sucked an ice cube into his mouth. He glanced across the table atDaisy and Tanya and Pippen. Tanya still stood in Daisy's lap, blowing raspberries. The little boy laughed andDaisy laughed, too. His gaze moved to her hands and her blood-red fingernails. A thin silver bracelet circled herslim wrist and a tiny heart rested against her pulse. The bracelet sparkled in the light, and as if she felt his gazeon her, she looked at him over the top of Tanya's dark head. Her smile fell and her brows drew together slightly.

She stared at him through brown eyes that he used to think looked like melted chocolate. But that had beenwhen he'd been ten years old and thought chocolate was the best thing in the world. Then he'd gotten older anddiscovered something better. Something darker and richer in those eyes. A knot twisted low in his belly. Hewouldn't call it desire, but it wasn't disinterest either.

Billy plugged the mother cat with batteries and set it on the table. Lacy stood in her chair again, andJack turned his attention to his niece. She stuck the kittens on the mother's side, and damn if it didn't makeweird sucking sounds.

"It's a... well it's a nursing kitty." Daisy looked up from the pink Persian and laughter lit up her eyes. "Jack, whythat's so sweet."

"Are those nipples on that thing?" Billy wanted to know.

"It looks like she has hearts instead of nipples," Jack told him.

"How come?" Amy Lynn wanted to know. They had a real mother cat at home, and she knew mommy catsdidn't have hearts there.

Neither Billy nor Jack could think of an answer. Daisy looked at Amy Lynn and said, "Because hearts are cuterthan nipples."

If they'd been alone, Jack might have told her exactly why she was wrong about that. Instead, he bit his ice cubein half and pushed it to one cheek.

"And they got some sunglasses, Lacy," Amy Lynn pointed out.

The center curtains on the stage parted and three big mechanical bears sprung to life, dancing and pretending toplay instruments. A song about a happy frog filled the dining room, and Lacy clapped her hands.

Lily's kid let out a scream at the top of his lungs.

Daisy handed Tanya back to Billy and she took the little boy from the high chair. She said something to Lilyand walked from the room with the boy still screaming. Jack's gaze slid down the back of her tank top to herbehind in those jean shorts.

"Did you see 'Monster Garage' the other night?" Billy asked over the music.

While Jack occasionally watched the show, Billy was a fanatic. "No, I missed that one."

"They turned a school bus into a pontoon boat?" he said, but the noise from the stage made it impossible for himto say any more.

Jack waited about five minutes before he followed Daisy and her nephew. He found the two of them in the playarea. She'd cleaned Pippen's face, and he was playing in a pit of multicolored balls surrounded by mesh thatwent clear to the ceiling. She stood outside the mesh watching him wade through the balls as if he were walkingupstream.

"How'd you manage to get yourself invited to Lacy's birthday party?" he asked as he came to stand beside her.

She glanced up into his face. "Lily and Pippen and I were already here when they walked in."

"And it was a complete surprise?"

She shook her head and her ponytail brushed her bare shoulders. "No. I knew you were going to be here, but Ididn't expect Rhonda and Billy to invite us to sit with them."

"What's it going to take for you to leave me alone?"

She turned her attention back to her nephew. He picked up a plastic bail and threw it. It missed a little girl byabout a foot. "You know what I want."

"To talk."

"Yes. There is something important we need to talk about."

"What?"

Sirens from a skeet-ball machine blared in the background. "Something too important to talk about in themiddle of Showtime."

"Then why are you here, tonight? Stalking me and my family?"

"I'm not stalking you. I just wanted to remind you that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere until you talk tome." She glanced down at her feet. "I have a letter Steven wrote to you. I don't have it on me, though."

"What does it say?"

She shook her head again, then stared straight ahead. "I don't know. I haven't read it."

"Send it to the shop."

"I can't do that. He asked me to give it to you in person."

"If it's so damn important, why didn't he give it to me himself? Instead of sending you?"

"Pippen, don't throw that," she told her nephew before she turned to face Jack. Red and blue lights from a videogame to the right flashed on her bare shoulder, the side of her neck, and the corner of her mouth. "I think hemeant to at first. For the first year of his illness, he believed he'd beat his cancer. We knew all along that no onehad ever survived glioblastoma, but he was young and healthy and the early treatments seemed to be working.

He fought so hard, Jack." She turned back to Pippen and grasped the mesh with her hands. "By the time heaccepted that he was going to die, it was too late to talk to you in person." The little heart on her braceletdangled from her wrist. He stared at it, not wanting to feel anything for Steven or for her. Not wanting to give ashit.

But he did have one question. "How long did he live after he accepted that he was going to the?"

"About eight or nine months."

That's what he thought Steven had always wanted someone to "go first" - whether it was telling Daisy she had abig ugly hair bow, or jumping off a roof, or throwing rotten tomatoes at cars. Growing up, it had never botheredhim, but that was a long time ago. "Then there was time to come and talk to me before he died. He didn't haveto send you."

She laughed ruthlessly. "You've obviously never seen anyone who's gone through radical cancer treatments. Ifyou had, you wouldn't say that." One of her hands dropped to her side, and tears shimmered along the bottomsof her eyelids as she gazed up at him. "You wouldn't have recognized him, Jack." One tear slid from her lashesand ran down her cheek. He clenched his hands to keep from reaching up and wiping it with his fingertips.

"Toward the end," she continued, "he forgot how to tie his shoes, but he insisted on getting dressed every daylike it mattered. So, I lied his shoes for him... every day. Like it mattered. And it did because it gave him a littledignity, I think. Some feeling like he was still an adult. A man."

A piece of his heart fell to his stomach and his breath with it. "Stop it, Daisy."

"Jack -"

"No." He knew she would not stop until she carved him up. Just like before. He wasn't about to let that happen.

Not again. Not for anything. "I don't want to hear any more." He was sorry for Steven. Sorrier than he wouldhave thought possible two minutes ago, but he would not let her tear him to shreds.

"I didn't mean to talk about this now." She wiped the tear from her cheek. "Meet with me later so you can hearme out."

The only thing I want to hear from you, Daisy Monroe, is the word goodbye," he said, and then he walkedaway. He moved back into the dining room and told his brother and Rhonda he was leaving. For once he wasgrateful to the damn dancing bears and their loud annoying music that didn't allow for questions. He gave hisnieces some money for game tokens and left. He didn't see Daisy when he walked back out, but he wasn'tlooking for her either.

He took a deep breath and kept right on moving. He didn't think he took a full breath again until he was home.

Shut up in his house. Locked tight against the memory of Daisy and Steven and him. But the memoriesfollowed him inside, and he sat down hard on his mother's piano bench and put his hands on his knees.

He'd hated Steven for about as many years as he'd loved him like a brother. But even in his earliest rage, he'dnever wanted Steven dead. Not really. Maybe there had been a time in the beginning when the thought ofSteven wiped off the planet had held a certain appeal, but he had never wanted him to die the way Daisy haddescribed it. Not like that. Not even back when his anger had burned the hottest.

When it came right down to it, he'd never wanted him to die at all. Because in the end, he understood Steven.

He understood that he had betrayed Steven every bit as much as Steven had betrayed him.

It'd been Steven who'd told him about Daisy being stood up for that damn high school prom their senior year. Ithad been both their ideas that Jack take her since Steven already had a date. It had seemed so simple at the time.

Take Daisy so she wouldn't spend the night crying her eyes out. No big deal, but that night had changed all theirlives.

Jack didn't really remember the actual dance, other than trying to touch as little of Daisy as possible. What hedid remember, though, was standing on her front porch looking down at her, wanting her so much he ached, andtelling himself to leave. To get into his car and drive away.

Then she kissed him.

Compared to kisses he'd experienced with other girls, it was nothing really. Just her closed lips pressed to his,but it had hit him square in the chest. He'd been stunned and angry and he'd pushed her away. Then she'dtouched the side of his neck and looked up at him as if she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. Asmuch as he'd always wanted her.

"Please, Jack," she'd whispered, and even as he'd lowered his mouth for more, he'd told himself it was amistake. Even as he'd stood there, kissing her and tasting her mouth, he'd told himself to stop. Even as he'd kepthis grasp on her shoulders, he'd pulled her into his chest and felt the weight of her breasts against hint Even ashe told himself that it could not happen again, he'd known that it would. He'd wanted her for years, and onelittle bite had not been enough.

Not nearly.

He'd told himself to stay away, but even if he'd been able to control his eighteen-year-old lust, Daisy wouldn'tlet him. At Jimmy Calhoun's party the next night, she'd pulled him into a dark closet and put his hand on herbreast.

"Touch me, Jack," she'd whispered into his mouth, and he'd about gone off in his boxer shorts.

A few days later he'd told Steven he couldn't hang out because he was grounded. Then he'd jumped in hisCamaro, picked Daisy up at her house, and they'd driven out to a deserted road. He'd parked and told her aboutSteven, about the two of them being attracted to her, and he explained why he andDaisy had to stop.

She said she understood. She agreed, then she'd kissed his ear and told him that Steven didn't have to find out.

"I love Steven. He's my friend," she'd said. "But I don't think of him the same way I think of you. I'm in lovewith you, Jack. I want more from you. I want you to show me how to make love."

That night he'd taken off her shirt and unhooked her bra. White with tiny blue dots on it Her breasts were themost beautiful things he'd ever seen. Firm and white, her tight pink nipples fit perfectly into his mouth.

He hadn't made love to her that night No, he'd tried to do the noble thing. He'd told her he didn't mess withvirgins. He'd told himself it was okay as long as he didn't stick his hand in her panties and touch her there. He'dtold himself to go slow with her, but that resolve quickly disappeared like a kid with candy. Then he'd had totell himself it wasn't really wrong unless he took her hymen.

After two weeks of touching and kissing and rubbing against each other, he'd picked her up and driven with herto a hotel on the outskirts of Amarillo. They'd taken it all the way that night, and he'd leaned the differencebetween sex and making love. He'd learned the difference between sex where just his genitals were involved,and sex that involved his soul. He'd learned that being inside of Daisy Lee burned hint up and left his chestaching. And the whole time he'd known it was wrong. He'd known Steven loved her as much as he did, but he'dtold himself that Daisy was right It was okay as long as Steven didn't find out.

In public, he and Daisy behaved as they always had, as friends, but it hadn't been easy. Seeing but not touchinghad driven him insane. Watching her walk down the school halls or jump around in her little cheerleader skirt,had made him insanely jealous.

He hadn't been the only one driven crazy by their situation. Daisy had always wanted him just as much as he'dwanted her, and when he couldn't meet with her, which wasn't often, she'd accuse him of not loving her. Ofbeing with other girls. She'd tell him she didn't love him anymore, then the next chance they got, they'd tear ateach other's clothes and satisfy the lust that burned too hot.

Neither of them wanted to hurt Steven and they decided to wait until he left for college to be more open abouttheir relationship. Steven had been accepted to the University of Washington, and after high school graduation,he planned to live with his sister and brother-in-law until he could afford his own apartment. Both Jack andDaisy planned to take classes at West Texas A&M, about seventy miles south. They'd planned to tell Steventhat they were in love when he came home for Christmas that year.

Jack rose from the piano bench and moved into the dark kitchen. He flipped on the light and opened therefrigerator. He pushed aside a quart of milk and reached for a Lone Star instead.

Being with Daisy had been like having one long orgasm while on a roller coaster. Damn exciting, but not if youwanted some calm.

He popped the top off his beer and tossed it on the counter. Two weeks after he graduated from high school, hisparents had been killed in a car wreck. They'd been out driving in their '59 Bonneville when a drunk driver hitthem. That old Pontiac may have been built like a tank, but it hadn't been built with safety features. His fatherhad been killed instantly. His mother died on the way to the hospital. And at the age of eighteen, he'd suddenlybecome responsible not only from himself but for Billy too.

Jack raised the bottle to his mouth and took a drink. Whenever he thought back on that time in his life, he had ahard time remembering details. He'd been torn up and confused and scared. And just plain raw. His whole lifehad changed in an instant, and it had seemed that the more he wanted space to think, the more clinging Daisygot. The more he pushed her away so he could breathe, the tighter she'd held on to him. He remembered thenight he'd told her they needed time apart, that he needed time away from her to think. That he didn't want tosee her for a while. She became hysterical. Then the next time he saw her, she was Steven's wife.

He recalled exactly what she'd been wearing that night. A blue sun dress with little white flowers. She andSteven had stood in his front yard and asked him to come outside. He remembered walking toward her and herlooking so good to him that he'd wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her to stay with him forever.

Instead Steven told him that the two of them had married that afternoon. At first, he couldn't believe it. Daisydidn't love Steven. She loved him. But he'd taken one look at her guilty face and knew it was true. He grabbedher and told her she belonged to him, not Steven. He tried to kiss her and touch her and make her admit sheloved him. Steven got between them, and Jack smashed his fist into Steven's face. They proceeded to beat thehell out of each other, but Steven Monroe had never been a fighter. He'd ended up taking the bad end of thebeating.

Jack raised the beer to his mouth again and swallowed hard. The night he'd lost Daisy, he'd lost Steven too. He'dlost the girl he'd loved and craved and wanted to live with forever.

He'd lost his best friend. The boy who'd been by his side during every hair-brained adventure. Steven mighthave been a "you go first" kind of guy, but Jack had always known that Steven was right there behind him.

Backing him up. Ready to go next. Then in the course of one night, they were both gone and Jack was alone.

He'd learned a valuable lesson that night that he'd lost everything. He'd learned that no one could take from youwhat you didn't give them. No one could slice your insides up if you didn't hand them the knife. He didn't thinkthat made him bitter, just a man who learned from mistakes. And it didn't make him one of those commitment-phobic guys Rhonda was always accusing him of being.

Hell, he might get married one day. Marriage wasn't something he'd ever rule out, but it wasn't something hewas looking for either If it happened, it happened. He had a family. Billy and Rhonda and the girls were enoughfor him, but there was room in his life for someone else. He was only thirty-three. There was time.

Except Daisy. There would never be room for Daisy Monroe. Not only had she sliced up his insides, she'dstomped them into the ground. He would never allow Daisy into his life again.

No, he'd learned his lesson the first time.