Daniel and Daughter

CHAPTER SEVEN

So now she knew what she'd wanted to know about Daniel Raife, Lee thought sadly as she lay awake that night. And the answer was at least as unpleasant as she'd feared.

Daniel was used to having his own way in all things, and subconsciously he'd come to expect it as a right. Now Phoebe, with Lee's unwitting help, had stood up to him and said no. The facade of sweet reason had cracked with a swiftness that would have been comic in any other circumstances. Behind it stood revealed an old-fashioned bull male, bellowing with rage at being defied.

Lee sighed and told herself that she ought to be reasonable. She herself was far from perfect, and it wasn't fair of her to demand perfection from Daniel But she found that reason was useless to ease an aching heart. She wondered if Daniel was managing any better.

She had some sort of answer the next afternoon, when she was interrupted in the middle of work by a messenger. He carried a long box containing one exquisite orchid. There was no card.

Lee contemplated the orchid at home that evening, wondering why she hadn't just picked up the phone and called Daniel. Even without a card the flower's perfection was a message in itself. Twice she put out her hand to the phone, but each time she pulled back,

The following afternoon she was in the middle of a stormy session with Roxanne when Gillian came over to interrupt.

'Not now,' Lee said impatiently.

'Lee, I think you'd better come.' Gillian's voice was urgent but she was struggling to hold back her laughter. 'There's been a special delivery.'

'Another orchid?'

'You could put it that way,' Gillian said cautiously.

At the door to her office Lee halted, unable to move further for the profusion of orchids. They covered everything, including the desk and chair. A large basketful stood on the floor by the far wall and another one blocked the entrance. Lee had to squeeze past it to get to the phone. Daniel answered so quickly that she knew he'd been sitting there, waiting for it to ring.

'You great clown,' she said tenderly.

'I thought you'd call me yesterday. When you didn't, I was sure you'd never forgive me.'

'There was no card. It might not have been you.'

'Who else sends you flowers? Tell me his name. I'll kill him!'

She joined in his laughter, but through the joking she could sense his nervousness.

'I'm sorry,' he said at last. 'I shouldn't have lost my temper and said the things I did. Forgive me, darling, please.'

'Of course,' she said at once, feeling joy flood through her. It was as though the man she loved had gone away for a time, but now he'd come back to her and she remembered afresh all the things that made him indescribably dear.

'Can you come here tonight?' he pleaded. 'I want to see you as soon as possible.'

'I'll come as soon as I've finished,' she said eagerly.

Everything was forgotten, including the sad and bitter thoughts that had tormented her. She hardly knew how she got through the rest of her work, but at last she was out of the door, hurrying to her car, her heart beating with anticipation as she threaded her way through the streets to Daniel's house.

The last time she'd come here he'd watched for her and opened the door, ready to do battle. Now it happened again, but this time everything was different. There was no anger in his eyes, but something else that stopped her heart. As soon as he'd pulled her inside his arms were around her, his lips on hers, and nothing else existed.

'Tell me everything's all right,' he begged. 'Say that you still love me.'

'Yes-yes-' The words became lost.

He kissed her with irresistible force, crushing her against him in an enveloping embrace. She kissed him back, swept by the need to reassure herself that he was still there, still Daniel, still hers.

'Never frighten me like that again,' he growled against her mouth, and immediately the pressure off his lips cut off her reply.

They clung to each other as if they'd been apart for years, as in a way they had. Their estrangement had been a great chasm across which they hadn't yet fully passed. The first quarrel had been a bitter shock to them both, and they were asking anxious questions about how they'd survived. The problems still lay in waiting for them, like rocks beneath the water, but for the moment they wouldn't think of them. It was hard to remember that she'd ever been the unhappy woman of the last few days, the woman who'd pretended that she was still safe. Daniel's words, 'there's no safe place in love', came hazily back to her. She'd tried to love him without leaving her safe place and discovered that it wasn't possible.

She tightened her arms round him and felt his answering embrace.

'It's all right,' he murmured. 'I'm here.'

'I'm so glad,' she said softly. 'Everything's all right if you're here.'

'Everything's all right,' he repeated. 'We're back together. We've had our first and last quarrel. It's over now and it'll never happen again.'

'No,' she said, holding him. 'It'll never happen again.'

He swept her up into his arms and began to mount the stairs. 'No more words, woman,' he growled in mock caveman style.

'Suppose Phoebe-?'

'She's out with your brother. I loaned him my car for the evening.'

'You shameless manipulator.'

'Yes, aren't I?' he said against her mouth. 'Now I don't want to think about either of them for a long time.' He kicked the door of the bedroom closed and laid her down gently on the bed. 'Lee, my darling…'

They undressed and fell onto the bed, seeking each other urgently, eager to find that the love which had always been so perfect before was a magic talisman to make trouble disappear.

At first it almost seemed as though they might succeed. The passion was there, undimmed, that fever in the flesh that briefly blotted out all else. Daniel made love to her more tenderly than ever before, whispering his love and need as he kissed her repeatedly. Yet gradually she sensed that something was still wrong. They were repeating the caresses and words of other lovings with a kind of ritual intensity, as though trying to recall memories. As though they were afraid of the here and now.

At the moment of greatest passion, the moment when their union had always been most complete and beautiful, she looked into his face and saw something like desperation, as though he would force everything to be right between them by sheer effort of will. Yet it couldn't be done, and they both knew it. The crack had been papered over but not mended.

Afterwards, as the pounding of her heart subsided, she lay in his arms, clinging to him tightly, not wanting to face the truth. They'd come back together because it was too painful to be apart, but their differences could still drive them asunder.

For now, they could pretend. They could speak in normal voices, laugh and kiss and carry on their lives, hoping that, with care, the fracture wouldn't grow larger. And if they didn't look too deeply into each other's eyes they might not see their mutual fear reflected.

At last Daniel sighed and said, 'There's nothing I can do about Phoebe, is there? We had another row today. I put my foot down but it simply went through the floor, so to speak. She's determined to defy me

But it's not your fault,' he added quickly. 'I must have gone wrong somewhere.'

'She's not defying you because you went wrong,' Lee explained gently. 'She's defying you because you're trying to stop her pursuing her heart's desire. You can't do that, and you shouldn't want to. But you can stop her leaving home.'

'Not now she's sixteen and can earn her way,' he said in a brooding voice. 'She had the law about that at her fingertips.'

'Daniel, forget about the law. I mean you must stop her wanting to leave home. Don't drive her out with hostility. Be friendly and understanding-'

'You mean put up with it and smile? Pretend it's all right when it isn't?'

'Yes, that's just what I mean. It's part of being a parent, especially when your child has achieved independence. If you make the wrong move now you could lose her for life.'

He groaned. 'I suppose you're right, but how do you know all this? Sonya isn't old enough for you to be talking from experience.'

'In one way she is. Whenever she goes to visit Jimmy I have to fight the temptation to plead, "Don't believe anything he tells you". I plan excuses why she can't go, because I'm afraid she might not come back.'

'And do you ever actually try to stop her?'

'Never. And she always comes back. Sooner or later there's a point when the only way you can keep your children is to open your hands and set them free.'

'It might not be so bad,' he conceded reluctantly,'if she goes on living here-and when she's working for you, you can keep an eye on her.'

'Yes, but Daniel-'

'You know who all the bad apples are, too-I mean the photographers that a young girl ought to avoid. You could tell this agency not to get her jobs with them.'

'I won't need to. It's a good agency. They'll protect her.'

'But if you tell them to assign her exclusively to you-'

'I thought you didn't want her working for me?'

'That's all changed,' he said impatiently. 'Yes, now I see how it can be-'

'Daniel, stop this!' Lee said firmly. 'You're doing it again.'

'Doing what?'

'Arranging Phoebe's life-and organising my professional diary as well. Darling, you can't do that. I'll use Phoebe if she's right for what I need, and if she isn't, I won't. And I certainly won't be telling Mulroy & Collitt what to do with their own client. The best way to protect Phoebe is for you to be nice to her so that she comes home to you every night. Make sure she knows you're always there for her. And then let go and shut up!'

He glared at her in displeasure. But at last a reluctant grin broke over his face. 'Maybe I'm being unnecessarily gloomy,' he conceded. 'How many new models try to break in every year?'

'Hundreds,' Lee said.

'And how many hit the big time?'

'One or two.'

'So with any luck she'll get just a few bookings and the whole thing will trickle to a halt.'

'So you're hoping for her to fail?' Lee said indignantly. 'That's nice, isn't it? How would Phoebe feel if she knew?'

'Darling, you won't tell her, will you?" he asked anxiously.

'No, I won't tell her. But I'm not going to do anything to blight her career, either, so don't even ask.'

'I wouldn't dream of it.' Daniel was becoming more cheerful, with his old conviction that the world would dance to his tune. 'Just-let things take their course and hope it all fades away.'

At ten o'clock he insisted he must watch the news, and they came downstairs. The next season of his TV show was due to start soon, so it made sense for him to keep abreast of current affairs, but Lee noticed the way he glanced at the clock at five-minute intervals.

'It's early yet,' she said encouragingly. 'My parents hit the roof if I stayed out until ten, but today's youngsters think nothing of it.'

'Do you mean Phoebe?' he asked casually. 'I hadn't given her a thought.'

Liar, Lee thought tenderly. Oh, darling, you're such a rotten actor.

Ten-thirty! Eleven! No sign of Phoebe. Daniel caught Lee glancing at the clock-face.

'It's much too soon for you to go home,' he said desperately. 'I'm just making some coffee.'

'Don't worry,' she soothed him. 'I'll stay with you until she comes in.'

'I don't know why you persist in thinking I'm wor-ried. Phoebe's an independent young woman now. Where the hell is she?

'With Mark,' Lee reminded him. 'He wouldn't let any harm come to her.'

There was a sound outside the front door. The two inside held their breath, trying to hear the softly murmuring voices. Then a key turned in the lock. Lee and Daniel went out into the hall to find Phoebe there with Mark. She looked at her father with an expression made up of defiance and appeal. Lee crossed her fingers, hoping Daniel wouldn't make a fatal mistake now.

For a moment the tension in the air was palpable. Then Daniel crossed the floor in two quick strides and enfolded his daughter in his arms. She hugged him back in passionate relief.

'I'm sorry about all those terrible things I said,' she whispered. 'I didn't mean them.'

'I didn't mean what I said, either,' Daniel told her in a ragged voice. 'But I haven't changed my position, darling.'

Phoebe raised her head from his shoulder and gave him a straight look. 'Nor have I, Daddy. It's my life and I'm going to do what I want to do with it.'

'Let's talk about that later-' he began.

'Yes, we'll have a nice long talk. I want you to understand why this is so important to me, and why I'm going to do it even if it means making you cross.'

His lips tightened a fraction. Lee held her breath.

'I thought you might have started to see sense-' he began.

Phoebe stepped back abruptly until she was stand-ing beside Mark. Their fingers entwined. 'Daddy, if living here is just going to mean being hassled-'

It was as if red warning signs had lit up all around, telling Daniel that he was on the edge of the abyss.

'It isn't,' he said hastily. 'You've had your say and I've had mine.' Even at this moment a gleam of almost amused understanding passed between father and daughter, giving Lee a glimpse of the bitter quarrel they were now trying to bury. 'We'll just have to agree to differ. I want you safe at home. If I can't be happy about what you're doing, I can still promise no aggro.'

When she still hesitated a note of desperation came into his voice. 'This is very hard for me, Phoebe, but I'm trying. Don't make it more painful by going away. I'll lose you soon enough as it is, but I couldn't face a sharp break now. You can do this last thing for your poor old dad, can't you?'

A faint smile touched Phoebe's perfect mouth. As Lee had guessed, an appeal to the heart had swayed her where reasoning would have failed. She disentangled her fingers from Mark's and returned to Daniel, looking intently into his face. 'You promise not to nag and criticise me?'

'When have I ever-? I promise, I promise.'

'No sitting up to wait for me?'

'I can't promise that, but I won't make a big deal of it.'

'No interrogations?'

'No interrogations. But am I allowed to ask questions about your new life, out of curiosity?'

'Of course. But no pressure.'

'No pressure. I know you'll be sensible and not accept bookings that are a bit-you know…'

'A bit what?'

'You know,' he floundered. 'Posing in skimpy clothes with men who aren't wearing much either…'

'You mean underwear?' Phoebe asked, scandalised. 'I'm not going to model underwear. I'd die rather.'

'That's fine, darling, I'm glad you've got a sense of modesty and-'

'Brenda says that kind of work is a dead end,' Phoebe interrupted him earnestly. 'I'm going to the top, Dad, and you don't go to the top by modelling knickers and vests.'

They were still poles apart, but Daniel was fast learning the lesson of resignation and said meekly, 'I'll keep my opinions to myself in future. Besides,' he added with a wry touch of humour, 'if you're going to make a fortune, I may need to touch you for a handout.'

Phoebe's laughter pealed out and she hugged him fiercely. In her young, egotistical delight, she enjoyed her victory without conscience, unaware that her defeated opponent was hanging on the ropes. Only Lee saw the strain and sadness in Daniel's face before he bent to kiss his child.

Brenda Mulroy did her best to ease Lee's plight, inviting Daniel to her office and talking to him in a down-to-earth way about his daughter's prospects. She painted a realistic portrait of Phoebe's future career, which included the fact that several well-known photographers had already seen her pictures and been impressed. She meant to reassure him, but Lee knew that every encouraging word twisted a knife in his heart.

What reassured him more was Brenda herself, a plump, motherly woman in her fifties with a ready laugh. Even so, it took a while for his bristling defensiveness to subside, and that evening it all returned in a wave of black gloom.

'What about this course Phoebe's started?' he demanded of Lee as they stood in his kitchen watching a pot simmer.

'She needs to learn the tricks of the trade. The course will teach her what make-up to use and how to apply it for the camera. She'll learn things about her hair, her diet, her skin type, how to take care of herself-how to be a professional.'

'It sounds expensive.'

'A couple of thousand.'

'I knew it!' he said, outraged. 'It's nothing but a con trick to delude innocent girls into parting with their money.'

'Nonsense! Phoebe will pay it back out of her future earnings over the next year. I promise you, she'll earn a great deal more than two thousand. Please, Daniel, stop being paranoid.'

'Paranoid?' he growled. 'Of course I'm paranoid. I'm the father of a sixteen-year-old girl. It goes with the territory.'

Phoebe herself was blissfully happy, lost in graphs and colour charts, experimenting with a wide new range of products and techniques. She'd arrived home an hour earlier, greeted them cheerfully and hurried up to her room. When Daniel called that the meal was ready she descended with her face covered in green paste.

'It's a face mask,' she explained to her stunned father. 'I have to keep it on for a couple of hours.'

Daniel swallowed. 'Sit down at the table,' he said faintly.

Something was troubling Lee. 'Phoebe, weren't you supposed to be-?' The ringing of the front doorbell interrupted her.

Daniel answered it, and a moment later ushered Mark into the room. He was formally dressed and had started to say 'Is Phoebe ready yet-?' when he saw the green apparition and blenched. Phoebe's hands flew to her mouth.

'Oh, Mark, I'm so sorry. I forgot.'

'Forgot? After all the trouble I took to get the tickets-you forgot? Well, never mind. If you hurry we'll just make it.'

'But I can't take this off,' Phoebe said with a little scream. 'I've only just put it on.'

'Can't you put it on again when you come home?' Mark demanded in outrage.

'No, I've only got this one pot. Tomorrow I have to tell my instructor how it affected me.'

Mark tore his hair. 'The curtain goes up in an hour. Are you coming or not?'

'How can I come like this?' Phoebe protested. 'Well, what did you put it on for, woman?' Daniel bristled at this form of address but Lee put a hand on his arm. 'I'm sure Phoebe can cope with Mark,' she murmured, 'Remember whose daughter she is.'

'I'm sorry,' Phoebe wailed. 'It just slipped my mind that we were going out tonight.'

'Oh, that's nice!' Mark exclaimed with heavy sarcasm. 'That's nice, isn't it? I may as well go, then.'

'You're welcome to stay and eat with us,' Daniel said.

'Thanks, but no thanks,' Mark said shortly. His handsome young face was marred by a petulant scowl. 'I won't stay where I'm not wanted.'

'You are wanted,' Lee pointed out. 'You've just been invited.'

'Some people don't want me,' Mark said with a black look at Phoebe 'Some people let me queue for tickets for the hottest show in town and then let it slip their mind. Some people forget me as soon as they have other interests and will probably be glad to see the back of me. Goodnight, everybody.'

'Stay for supper.' Lee repeated Daniel's invitation.

He threw her a smouldering look. 'Please don't worry about me. I can have a cheese sandwich when I get home.'

He departed with dignity. Lee struggled to control her face and even Daniel had to stop his lips twitching. Only Phoebe didn't find Mark's behaviour amusing. She gave a wail and flapped her hands.

'Don't worry too much,' Lee told her. 'It'll do him a power of good to know that your world doesn't revolve around him.'

'But I can't just let him go like that,' Phoebe wept, 'all hurt and miserable. Oh, how could I forget about tonight?'

'Because you had more important things to consider,' Daniel said with elaborate casualness. 'The trouble is, men resent women who are more successful than they are. Ouch! That was my shin.'

'Serves you right for saying something so prehistoric,' Lee hissed. 'You ought to be ashamed of trying to manipulate this situation.'

'I'm not. I just want to be sure Phoebe understands what's happening. Let him go, Phoebe. Be strong. Remember whose daughter you are.'

'I think you're hateful and heartless,' Phoebe cried. The next moment she was flying out into the street, calling, 'Mark, darling, wait-please.'

Daniel groaned. 'There's a sight that'll give the neighbours something to talk about for a week.'

Lee hardly heard him. For a moment the ghost of her young self was there, hurrying after Jimmy, begging him. 'Don't be angry, please, Jimmy… I didn't mean it… It was my fault…' To be eternally placating: the worst mistake you could make. Asking to be bullied.

'Anything wrong?' Daniel asked her.

'No,' she said hastily, and forced a smile to her face. 'Everything's fine.'

The young couple returned a few minutes later, apparently reconciled, but the rest of the evening wasn't a success. Phoebe refused to remove her face mask and Mark endured the meal with an air of gloom suitable to a man whose beloved had turned into Frankenstein's monster. Even when she finally washed her face matters were little improved, as she almost immediately announced her intention of going to bed.

'My instructor says I need early nights,' she said.

As the phrase 'my instructor says' had peppered the conversation for the last two hours Lee felt that Mark could be forgiven for grinding his teeth. Daniel became notably more cheerful. Lee's brother had never been his favourite person, and his hostility had increased after the night Phoebe had taken his hand as a gesture of defiance. Mark had come to symbolise the malign fate that was distancing Phoebe from her father.

'What are you smiling at?' Lee demanded as they did the washing up.

'It's dawned on me that there may be an up side to this, after all. Think of the young men Phoebe will meet-young men with proper cars and not hoary old bangers. Men who know how to cherish a lovely girl and don't throw a fit of the sulks.'

'I think Mark was entitled to feel a little peeved,' Lee said indignantly. 'It took him ages to get those tickets, just to please her, and she simply forgot.'

'Nonetheless, it wasn't clever of him to descend into a self-pitying sulk.'

'So what should he have done, according to you?'

'Endured it with an air of noble suffering,' Daniel said with a wicked grin. 'Tossed the tickets away. What use are they if they don't please his lady? And if he could have contrived to suggest a broken heart bravely concealed beneath a casual air he'd have done himself a lot more good than he actually did.'

'That's what you'd have done, I suppose? In fact you've probably done just that at some time.'

'Well, the ladies I used to escort didn't usually forget,' Daniel admitted, with an air of false modesty that didn't fool her. 'But if they had, I'd have handled it better than that. I think I may just remind Phoebe how undignified he looked.'

Lee chuckled. 'You're a devious so-and-so. You're doing it again-arranging the world and everyone in it.'

'Don't you dare say I arrange things. I'm the helpless victim of events. But if Phoebe's career does bring this little romance to an end I shan't be sorry.' He glanced at the door, and finding that they were safely alone, sneaked a kiss. 'Do you have to go back early?' he murmured.

'Sonya's staying the night with a friend.'

'Thank heavens!'

'But I'm going home, Daniel. I know Phoebe's a modern girl, but-'

'I know,' he sighed. 'I feel the same. There's only one answer. You'll have to marry me.'

'We've got a lot of things to. get out of the way first,' she prevaricated.

He searched her face and read in it everything she dared not say. Their reconciliation was fragile. Beneath the jokes and the affection they had retreated a little from each other. Who knew when they would recover the lost ground? Or whether it would ever be recovered?

She drove home and found Mark sitting in the kitchen, staring at a cup of cocoa. Lee patted his shoulder kindly. He really had been badly treated.

'Fifty quid those tickets cost me,' he muttered. 'Fifty flaming quid. And I had to queue in the rain. But what does she care?'

'Phoebe's very young, Mark,' Lee said sympathetically. 'At her age she doesn't want to get too serious.'

"That's not what she- Oh, hell, never mind!'

'You mean she made you think she was ready for a deep relationship?'

Mark shrugged disconsolately.

'But that was before her horizons broadened, wasn't it? Things are bound to change, my dear.'

'Yes, I'm just going to be a student to her, aren't I?'

'I don't think it's fair to ask any sort of commitment from her. Phoebe needs time to find her feet.'

'But I think about her all the time. You can't understand, Lee.'

'Can't I?' she asked, smiling a little at the age-old accusation.

'I don't suppose you even remember what it was like to be my age.'

Eighteen, she thought. When she'd been eighteen she'd already thought of her life as effectively over.

'Yes, I remember,' she said. 'Too well.'