Dukes to the Left of Me, Princes to the Right

CHAPTER 17

Nicholas’s mild irritation at being at the beck and call of the princess turned into full-blown resentment. The one-eyed dog was nowhere to be found, despite the fact that he and Poppy had searched through various rooms at the museum for a good half hour.

“The princess says he loves people and will make a beeline for a crowd,” he said.

“Then we should try again by the Elgin Marbles,” Poppy suggested.

“We’ve already done so twice.”

“How about the Rosetta Stone?”

“All right. Once more.”

They turned to the right to the chamber housing the famed stone when Poppy pointed straight ahead. “There he is!”

The squat dog was doing his best to get down a long series of steps to the first floor. They both rushed to him, and Nicholas picked him up. Boris’s tongue lolled out of his mouth and he stared defiantly at Poppy with his one eye.

“Your adventure is over, my canine friend,” Nicholas muttered.

Poppy stroked Boris’s head. “I wonder where he’s been hiding?”

Her slender fingers caressing the beast’s head, the sweet nothings she murmured, somehow grabbed Nicholas’s attention and held it. He was jealous, he realized. Jealous of a dog.

For God’s sake, what was he thinking? He didn’t need sweet caresses anywhere but where it counted—and even then, it didn’t have to be sweet, did it?

A caress was enough.

Not even a caress. A quick swipe or two with a hand would do.

He pulled Boris away, leaving Poppy’s hand dangling in midair.

Just because.

“The dog needs no more touching.” Nicholas felt a terrible mood coming upon him, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Why are you glowering at me?” she asked, her hands on her hips. “What have I done?”

He was saved from answering by the approach of a small woman with a broad face and a frilly cap, who was striding toward them, her hands clenched in fists.

“Blast his furry hide, there he is!” She was followed by a meek maidservant. “That evil dog swallowed the round pearl-and-ruby pendant off my necklace. I picked him up and said, ‘Oh, you dear, dear thing,’ and next thing I knew, he’d bitten it right off!”

She held up a broken gold chain.

Poppy’s eyes were wide. “Um, I’m so sorry, madam. And I’m sure we’ll be able to get the pendant—ahem—after it’s gone through him.”

The woman pursed her lips. “I can’t wait that long. I’m visiting from Surrey, and I must get home. My name is Mrs. Travers. I might be a small lady, but I’m quite important in my village, I’ll have you know.”

“Please give me your address, madam, and we’ll be sure to return the pendant,” Nicholas said. “Hopefully within one day. Two at the most.”

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Travers said suspiciously. “What if you decide to keep it? Give me that dog—then I’ll know I’ll get my piece back. When I do, I’ll send you a note and you can come get him.”

“We can’t very well do that. He’s not even our dog,” said Poppy. “And we’re not thieves. We’re not interested in your … pilfered pendant.”

Mrs. Travers gasped. “You should be. Your dog ate it!”

“I’m sorry,” said Poppy, her face turning pink. “I simply meant we don’t want it.”

The woman pursed her lips. “Give me that dog, or I’ll—I’ll call a constable!”

Nicholas laid a hand on her arm. “Madam, the dog belongs to a Russian princess—”

“I don’t care who the dog belongs to.” Mrs. Travers burst into tears. “Who ever heard of letting a dog into a museum? He attacked me, the brute! I shall press charges for that, as well.”

Poppy tugged on Nicholas’s sleeve. “We have to give her the dog,” she whispered above Mrs. Travers’s ear-piercing wails.

“No, we can’t,” he said. “Natasha would have a fit.”

And blast that Mrs. Travers for shrieking.

“I know,” Poppy said, “but we’ll get him back in a few days, won’t we?”

Nicholas stared at Boris, who merely panted and rolled his one eye. “He’s diabolical. I can see him running away at the first opportunity.” He turned to Mrs. Travers. “Stop your caterwauling, madam. I’ll put you up in fine quarters here in London if you’ll stay a day or two.”

Her wails ceased abruptly into hiccups and then died away completely, thank God.

“Absolutely not,” she said with firm resolve. “I must get back. My maid, as well. And if you have a decent bone in your body, you’ll let me take that dog. Consider him on loan.”

“Give us but a moment,” Nicholas said to her, then turned to Poppy. “She has a point,” he said low, Boris still panting contentedly in his arms. “None of this is her fault, and she should be allowed to return home rather than stay here. We’ll have to let her take the dog, but he can’t go alone. I’ll go, as well. If Natasha knows a familiar face is with the brute, she’ll be all right. We can’t upset the Russian twins, remember?”

Poppy sighed. “I suppose you’re right. But how can I go? I’ll need a chaperone.”

“You’ll stay here.”

“No. That’s outrageous. We’re … we’re in this together, remember?”

He must admit, her saying so assuaged a portion of his extreme annoyance at the whole situation.

He turned to Mrs. Travers. “Do you know a Lady Caldwell in Surrey?”

The woman put a hand to her breast. “Of course. Lord and Lady Caldwell are one of the finest families in all of Surrey. The altar guild at our church—I’m the presiding officer, you know—was once invited to her home for a delightful tour of her gardens. Their estate is a mere three miles from my village.”

“She’s my godmother and my father’s first cousin,” Nicholas said. “We’ll stay with her, and I promise we’ll return the pendant, in pristine condition, as soon as we’re able. In fact, Lady Caldwell would no doubt welcome you and your maid to stay with us until the pendant is, um, made available to us again.”

The woman blushed. “I appreciate that, young man.” She laid a hand on his arm. “My late husband gave me that bauble. I’m sorry if I was a bit rude. I would dearly love to stay with Lady Caldwell.”

“Then it’s settled,” he said gruffly. “And please don’t apologize. I understand your panic.” While Mrs. Travers’s chins quivered and her maid tried to soothe her, Nicholas turned once more to Poppy. “Your father should have no objections. We’ve come up with a perfectly proper solution.”

“Good.” She grinned. “I was beginning to think we were in well over our heads.”

Nicholas rolled his eyes. “We’ll be much more involved with looking around our feet the next day or two.”

“Thanks to Boris.” Once more she scratched the little criminal behind his ear.

Yes, thanks to the damned dog, Nicholas thought, then adjusted his thinking. Perhaps he should be grateful. He’d been in a rut lately, hadn’t he? Because of Boris, he’d be leaving London with Poppy. Being with her always promised surprises.

And he must face the fact—he was in desperate lust with his fiancée. Surely he could wrangle an opportunity to be alone with her in Surrey, godmother in residence or no.

Poppy felt rather excited when Nicholas dropped her off at home, along with Mrs. Travers, her maid, and Boris, while he paid a personal visit to Sergei to explain the awkward situation and to send a messenger ahead to Lord and Lady Caldwell to inform them they were coming.

It was amazing how one small dog could create so much fuss—and an opportunity to do something new and different. Yes, Poppy would be with Drummond, but she found herself rather intrigued by the idea of spending more time with him. Not because she had a tendre for the irascible duke but because he forced her to keep her wits sharp.

And perhaps because he was an amazing kisser.

Not that they’d get any opportunities to kiss at Lord and Lady Caldwell’s.

Would they?

She must admit, that possibility was what had her feeling breathless as she ran upstairs to pack a small, serviceable suitcase Kettle had found for her (as her personal luggage had been disposed of, thanks to Papa).

Mrs. Travers and her maid waited patiently in the drawing room, comforted by the presence of Cook, who brought in tea, delicious cakes, and idle gossip to share while Poppy packed. Boris waited in the kitchens, where the staff fed him a bowl of slops in hopes it would “push everything along,” according to Kettle.

As Poppy folded her best night shift, she explained the whole situation to Aunt Charlotte, who promised to explain everything to Lord Derby when he came home from Whitehall.

“Not a problem, dear,” Aunt Charlotte said. “But do remember the Spinster rule to follow when one is a houseguest.”

“What’s that?”

“A Spinster locks her bedchamber door at night.”

Poppy drew in her chin. “That seems rather obvious.”

“Yes,” Aunt Charlotte said, “but that is only half the rule.”

“What’s the other half?”

“A Spinster locks her bedchamber door at night only after she’s finished exploring.”

“Exploring?”

Aunt Charlotte chuckled. “The beauty of being on one’s own is that one may wander about a great house without people always crying, ‘Where in devil’s name are you going?’ ”

“I never thought of that,” said Poppy.

“Freedom, my dear, is the key to adventure. Guard it well. And no matter how big the adventure or how many demands it places on you, never surrender freedom completely. It keeps one young. And interesting. And alive.”

“You’re giving me more than one rule, dear aunt.” Poppy smiled. “I count five at least.”

Aunt Charlotte waved a hand. “Oh, that last bit was something I just made up. But I rather like it. I think I shall add it to the new Spinsters handbook I’m creating. Oh, and don’t forget to carry a heavy candlestick and a sharp pin when you explore.”

“Very well.” Poppy kissed her cheek. “I shall see you in two, no more than three, days.”

When she returned to the drawing room ready to depart, Mrs. Travers was overjoyed to see her and even happier to see Nicholas arrive.

“Here you are, Your Grace.” Kettle immediately placed Boris in his arms.

Poppy noticed that Drummond looked extremely grim.

“Ladies,” he said, “I’ve news. Both the Russian princess and prince will be accompanying us. They insist. It is their belief that Boris requires his mistress to be happy.”

A silence fell over the room, but then Mrs. Travers began clapping.

Poppy’s heart sank. She’d been looking forward to getting out of London for a few days. But now that the Russian twins were coming, she was exhausted already just thinking of all the attention they’d require.

She especially didn’t want any more odd conversations with Sergei. She was rapidly losing hope he had any of the wonderful qualities she’d thought he’d possessed in abundance in St. Petersburg.

“What a delight!” exclaimed Mrs. Travers. “We shall be in even more exalted company. You’re a duke, so I hear, Your Grace, and your fiancée is the daughter of an earl, which is extremely impressive. But to be traveling in the company of a prince and princess, too? Oh, my. I’m almost glad that beast swallowed my pendant.” Her face, which had been lined with smiles, suddenly drooped. “Of course, I will get it back, don’t you think?”

“Without a doubt,” Nicholas assured her, his voice rather tight. “I shall be overseeing Boris myself.”

“Oh, you wonderful man!” Mrs. Travers threw herself at him. “Who ever heard of a duke following after a one-eyed dog to see if he’ll, um, produce a pendant? How could anyone say such bad things about you?”

She covered her mouth with her hand, and her maid turned red.

“Oh, dear,” she murmured, “my maid and I were in a discussion with Lord Derby’s cook.”

“About his missing uncle?” Poppy asked.

“Or the octopus?” Nicholas asked, throwing Poppy a look that made her feel as if she were the cause of all this gossip about him, when really—

Oh, dear. She was, wasn’t she? Of course, she’d never told her suitors about the octopus, but she’d encouraged Cook to spin her tales. And Poppy had repeated them to Aunt Charlotte and her friends, and now—

Now Cook was telling all of London—and some country folk like Mrs. Travers, too. It seemed everyone was in a tizzy over the duke’s supposedly wicked and daring exploits.

Mrs. Travers bit her lip. “We heard about both the octopus and the uncle. But mum’s the word.”

She turned an invisible key in her mouth.

“That’s good of you,” Nicholas told her. “But I’m curious. What exactly did Cook say about my missing uncle?”

Mrs. Travers looked to her maid. “You tell him.”

The maid couldn’t quite look him in the eye. “He was a thin boy with beady eyes. But them beady eyes led him right to Viking gold. It was buried in the sand before your estate facing the sea. But someone in your family killed him for it, poor lad.”

She rubbed her nose as if her pronouncement were nothing particularly shocking.

“So you’re all cursed,” she concluded.

“It seems that way,” Drummond said with great cheer. “Off we go, now, ladies. I hear a carriage out front.”

Boris licked Nicholas’s face and began to whine.

Poppy looked out the window. “It’s the Russian twins.”

“I’ve got to ride with the dog,” Mrs. Travers said.

“Then you shall ride with the princess,” said Nicholas. “Because she won’t part from him.”

Mrs. Travers clapped her hand over her heart again. “My, how a day can change in a moment! Who ever thought Lily Travers would be riding in a carriage with a Russian princess!”

Yes, and who ever thought Lady Poppy Smith-Barnes, daughter of the Earl of Derby, would be following a one-eyed dog to Surrey?