Dukes to the Left of Me, Princes to the Right

CHAPTER 33

Possible, that’s what Poppy thought she and Nicholas were. But if he couldn’t see it for himself, then she wasn’t going to bother explaining. Nor would she marry him. The only man a Spinster would marry was someone who knew as well as she did they were meant to be together.

She shouldn’t have to convince a man to love her, should she?

And the same went for her relationship with Papa. The next afternoon, she gathered her courage and stood before his closed library door. Aunt Charlotte had left that very morning for their country home in Kent to visit a dear old friend. She’d be gone a week, and Papa would be home more to watch over Poppy. It was as good a time as ever for her to approach him.

She lifted her hand, bit her lip, and knocked at the library door.

“Come in,” Papa called, ever stern.

When she entered, he looked up, his eyes etched with his usual worries about the state of the country and his role in Parliament.

“This is a welcome diversion.” He paused in his writing.

“Am I, Papa?”

He sighed. “Of course you are.”

She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. It’s just that—”

“Yes?”

She sank into a chair. “You’re gone all the time. And I never see you. And I wonder sometimes if you wish Mama had never had me. Often when you look at me, you appear angry.”

Lord Derby laid down his quill. “I’m not angry at you. I do what I do for love of you. To make you proud. And to leave this country in a better way for you and your children after I’m gone.”

Poppy studied his dear, lined face. “I’m thankful. And proud of you. But sometimes I wish you were here with me, laughing with me, talking to me. Sometimes I think that would help me more than you doing your duty. How can I tell my children funny little stories of their grandfather if you’re not here? They’ll learn all the grand things, of course, about your time in Parliament. But I want them to know you. That you like three lumps of sugar in your tea. And very shiny black boots. And singing. Not that you’ve done that in ages, not since before Mama died.” She swallowed. “But sweet, special things like that.”

Lord Derby hesitated. “I—I don’t know what to say. Other than I’m sorry you feel ignored.”

Her throat tightened. “I know you’re doing your best. But I wish we talked more about Mama. Since she’s been gone, we never do.”

Lord Derby frowned. “You’re asking a great deal this morning. Why now?”

She shrugged her shoulders, feeling sheepish. “Only because I’m growing up, I think. I’m trying to be brave and live in the present, rather than the past. And the present includes you. I want to be part of your life, Papa. I want more from you than a frown and a lecture. I want my old father back. It might mean we have to start in the past and work our way to the present moment, but please. I’d like us to try. We’ve missed so much that we could have shared together.”

He stared at her, his brows arched and his eyes no longer exuding authority and sternness. His gaze was concerned and sad.

Even lonely.

“I’ll give your words much consideration, dear,” he said.

“Thank you. And Papa, now I have another favor to ask.”

“What’s that?” he asked over his spectacles, back to his old House of Lords self.

She smiled. “Nothing so weighty as the first favor. Although it’s related. I simply want permission to go through Mama’s things. It’s time we kept the special things and … and cleared out the others.”

Lord Derby’s brow furrowed. “All right. You and I shall go through her things together. Tonight. After dinner. At eight o’clock sharp.”

Poppy gave him a little curtsy. “I’ll be there, Papa.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “And thank you. I know this will be difficult, but I’m sure it’s what Mama would have wanted.”

“On with you now. You’re just like your mother. Nosy and bossy and”—he paused—“and you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger.”

“I do?” Her eyes filled with tears.

“Of course you do. Now go. I’ve got a speech to write.”

She looked back at him from the door and felt a burst of hope. Perhaps she would be starting a new relationship with Papa.

It would be a fresh start for both of them.