Ecstasy

Chapter Fourteen

She waited for him in his private study rather than the intimacy of his bedchamber. The fire had died down to embers, so she added more coal and stood at the hearth, warming her hands and wondering what madness had overcome her.

Did she really want to make an issue of Kell’s mistresses? Did she want to acknowledge her jealousy, even to herself?

At least she didn’t have long to wait. Only moments later Raven heard the study door shut softly. She whirled to find Kell leaning indolently against the door-jamb, watching her with narrowed eyes.

“I suppose you mean to explain your tantrum just now, dear wife,” he said finally, his tone cool.

Raven swallowed, regretting her earlier outburst. She hadn’t meant to make her possessiveness so obvious. “It was hardly a tantrum. It was more along the lines of a complaint.”

“And just what do you have to complain about?”

“Your indiscretion,” she prevaricated. “It is mortifying to have to watch your dalliance before a roomful of people.”

“If you had taken my advice and kept away, you wouldn’t have to watch my dalliance, as you put it.”

Pushing off from the door, Kell crossed the room toward her. Raven held her ground, but he only went to the hearth and bent to stir the fire.

“You were purposely flaunting your mistress directly under my nose,” she said tightly, “and I won’t stand for it.”

That drew a quick, challenging stare from him.

Raven flushed at his measuring appraisal, and she hurried on. “You agreed we would try to preserve the appearance of being in love. And publicly lusting after Miss Walsh is hardly the way to do it.”

“I trust,” Kell responded in a drawling voice, “you don’t expect me to live like a monk. I believe I mentioned that I’m not overly fond of celibacy.”

“No, but you might try to contain your passion for that woman and keep out of her bed.”

His eyebrow shot up. “Are you perhaps demanding fidelity from me, vixen? That was not part of our bargain, nor is it exactly fair. You have not been any kind of wife to me thus far.”

“And you have been no kind of husband!”

His gaze raked her. “If you don’t want me to seek my pleasure with Miss Walsh, perhaps you would care to take her place.”

Raven felt her heart skip a beat. “What exactly are you suggesting?”

“That you see to my pleasure yourself. You are perfectly capable of assuming the duties of a mistress, or at least fulfilling the carnal obligations required of a wife.”

Their gazes locked and held.

“So, love,” Kell murmured tauntingly, “are you willing to be a proper wife to me?”

Was she willing? Raven asked herself. She wanted Kell; there was no denying it. And she wanted to keep him from his beautiful hostess’s bed.

She stared back into his impenetrable eyes, the tension stretching like a taut cord between them.

“Very well,” she murmured.

“What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said I was willing!”

He let his gaze slide down her. “You agree to satisfy my sexual needs?”

“Yes! Although I can’t imagine it will be easy to satisfy a libertine of your vast appetites.”

Her muttered comment was meant as an insult, but Kell returned a tolerant smile. “I expect you will be a quick study. After all, you have an unusual depth of knowledge gleaned from your erotic journal. And experience with your fantasy lover as well.”

Annoyed by his reminder, Raven frowned. Perhaps it had been unwise to tell Kell about her fantasies; certainly it was if he meant to throw her confessions back in her face.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” he asked as she stood trying to think of a suitable retort. “You just agreed to satisfy me.”

“You want me to-Now?”

“Why not now? What better opportunity to show me that you are serious? You can start by undressing me.”

“You cannot undress yourself?”

His smile was one of amused patience. “Where would be the satisfaction in that? I will find it much more pleasurable if you assume the honors.”

Biting back an oath, she reluctantly went to him and helped him out of his coat. Then she removed his waistcoat and untied his cravat. The open throat of his shirt revealed a glimpse of bronze-hued skin lightly sprinkled with hair.

“Please me, Raven,” he commanded softly when she hesitated. “Take off my shirt.”

Obediently she slid her hands beneath the fine cambric to touch his flesh, finding it warm and silky. With his help, she raised the shirt over his head but found herself distracted by the elegant patterns of dark hair on his chest.

“Raven?”

Dragging her gaze away, she glanced up at Kell. A cool smile played around his impossibly sensual mouth; he knew quite well how appealing she found his stark masculinity.

“Now my breeches.”

Her cheeks flushing at his knowing look, she took a deep breath and unbuttoned first the straining placket on his breeches, then his drawers. His rampant member sprang free, brushing her fingers. He was fully aroused, his erection as hard as marble.

Raven drew back as if she’d been burned. Merely touching him felt like playing with fire. Yet she wasn’t nearly as bold as he thought her. It was one thing to make love to a fantasy image, quite another to take the initiative with this beautiful, vital man.

She glanced up at him, hoping that her racing heart wasn’t obvious. “You are laboring under a misapprehension if you think I know how to pleasure you. I don’t have your prowess or experience.”

To her surprise, Kell didn’t pressure her. Instead he moved over to his desk and pulled out the chair, then settled in it.

“Come here, then.” He held out his right arm, indicating that she should sit on his lap. His blatantly rigid manhood jutted out from the opening in his breeches, beckoning as well.

His brazen arousal held her fascinated gaze as she crossed to him. But then she remembered his bullet wound and hesitated, eyeing his left leg. “Has your thigh healed?”

“Enough to allow me to perform, at least if I am careful.”

She sat gingerly on his right side, feeling the hard, lean muscles of his thigh flex beneath the tight-fitting satin breeches.

His arms encircled her loosely as he settled her more securely on his lap. His eyes had taken on a slumberous look, his black-velvet lashes hooding the dark intensity.

“With my body I thee worship,” he murmured, repeating a line from their marriage vows. “Do you intend to properly worship me, wife?”

Not answering, Raven held herself stiffly, despite the heat rising up in her at his suggestive words. She continued to remain immobile when he reached around her, his fingers expertly unfastening the hooks of her gown.

“Relax,” he said, evidently feeling her tension. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Yet she couldn’t relax. His alien hardness was a hot brand against her thigh, and she could only think of what was to come, how it would feel to have that swollen length thrusting inside her, filling her…

He leaned forward and, with his tongue, touched the rapidly beating pulse in her throat. “Draw down your bodice for me.”

The heat of even that brief caress flared through her, setting fire to every nerve. After a short hesitation, she lowered the neckline of her blue velvet gown, leaving her bosom still covered by her chemise. When she looked down, she could see the rosy outline of her peaked nipples.

Bending, he kissed one through the thin fabric, his tongue finding the tip, drawing it against his teeth.

Raven shivered.

“Your shift, too. I want to see all of you.”

When she had difficulty freeing her arms, he aided her, unfastening the buttons at her back, then drawing off the sleeves and pulling down her garments till she was bare from the waist up. Everywhere his fingers touched, her skin seemed to burn.

His gaze was almost leisurely, appreciative and very male as he surveyed her naked flesh. “I keep forgetting how beautiful you are,” he said, his voice low and husky. “Your breasts are more lush than I anticipated, given your slenderness.”

Raven shifted restlessly in his lap, her breasts tingling for want of his caresses.

His gaze focused on her taut nipples, his eyes glittering with a heat that had nothing to do with his earlier anger. “Your nipples are hard and I haven’t even suckled them yet… Do you want me to suckle them?” He touched the sensitive tip teasingly with his mouth.

Raven closed her eyes, unable to deny her need. “Yes…” she breathed.

“Then offer your nipples up for me,” he ordered, his voice as smooth as velvet.

Her eyes flew open. Kell was watching her, challenge in his dark eyes. He was perfectly serious, Raven realized. He was demanding she act the wanton. But if he meant to intimidate her, he would not succeed.

“You aren’t very accommodating for a mistress,” he said, his voice a silken taunt. “Didn’t that journal of yours teach you anything?”

“Yes, but obviously not the sort of thing you are proposing.”

“Then I shall have to give you lessons in how a woman satisfies a man.”

“I suppose Miss Walsh knows how to satisfy you.”

He surveyed her with a level gaze. “She knows very well what it takes.” His eyes were suddenly intense, his tone harder. “What of your fantasy lover? Does he know how to satisfy you?”

“Yes,” Raven retorted, glad to have something to throw in Kell’s face.

“Then think of me in his place. I intend to be your lover tonight. Now do as I say and give me your nipples.”

Another sensual shiver rippled through Raven. Kell was bold, brazen, commanding, just like her pirate lover-and it excited her more than she could have imagined. Swallowing her misgivings, she did as he bid, cupping her breasts till they were raised high and mounded in her hands.

Kell nodded with a charming, predatory smile. “Now say ‘please suck on my breasts, lover.’ ”

“Kell…”

“Say it.”

“Please…suck on my breasts…lover.”

“As you wish, my sweet.”

He bent his head, seeking and finding. His warm, sculpted mouth sent a shocking trail of fire curling deep inside her.

Without volition Raven’s fingers clutched in his silky black hair as he suckled her. He was rousing her to a warmth she had not thought possible. His mouth was a searing flame upon her bare, aching breasts, and she could only fight the pleasure.

Moments later she felt his hand move between her legs, and she shuddered. Without her knowledge he had raised the hem of her gown to stroke his palm up her bare thigh. When he cupped her woman’s mound, the gesture was so sexually possessive that Raven gasped.

“Touch yourself. See how wet you are.”

She didn’t need to touch herself. She knew her secret places were damp and swollen, throbbing with need for him.

But Kell refused to take no for an answer. Clasping her hand, he guided her fingers to the juncture of her thighs, deliberately making her explore her own tender flesh.

He was right; she was sultry, yielding, weeping passionately for him. Raven felt a tremor of excitement ripple through her.

Then brushing the point of hot pleasure with his thumb, he slid a long finger deep inside her. She whimpered, her body pulsing to his touch as if she had been made for him alone.

For a long moment he stroked her, sending all her senses reeling.

“I think you are ready for me,” he said with satisfaction.

Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her up and set her on the desk facing him, then pressed her back to lie on the hard, unyielding surface. Raven was scarcely aware of the discomfort, though, for Kell was pushing up her skirts, baring all her secrets to him.

In the firelight his eyes gleamed like onyx as his hands parted her legs and slowly smoothed up the insides of her naked thighs. The way he looked at her was rawly sexual and made her heart race.

Holding her thighs spread wide, he bent down to her. Lightning speared through her body as she realized his brazen intent.

Raven gasped in protest and pushed against his shoulders, trying to stay him.

Kell raised his head, his eyes gleaming. “Does your fantasy lover kiss you here?”

The question was too intimate for comfort.

“Does he?” Kell demanded roughly when she was silent.

“Yes!”

He bent his head, his warm breath hovering over her aching flesh. “Then don’t withhold from me what you so eagerly give him.”

At the first touch of his mouth, she whimpered. She wanted Kell to kiss her there. Her body was begging for it, craving it; she didn’t care if it was foolish or wise. She could almost feel her feminine folds moving like real lips in anticipation, pleading for his caress.

“I want to taste your nectar,” he murmured softly before his tongue found her, gently stroking.

The pleasure almost shattered her. With a breathless moan, Raven put both hands in his hair, not to push him away but to hold his face between her burning thighs. Kell obliged her by sucking in a kiss. His passion was a brand, searing her flesh. A heartbeat later, his tongue slid deep inside her. Her breath caught on a sob, and she desperately tried to shift her hips, seeking to escape his ravishing mouth.

He wouldn’t let her move. Holding her still, he hooked his arms under her thighs and draped her legs over his shoulders. His tongue was still attending her, softly licking, savoring, thrusting, giving her the most frightening pleasure she had ever known. Under his ruthless assault Raven nearly went wild. Urgently she arched against his hot mouth, her hips moving in a rhythm that was ancient, mindless, elemental, the growing sounds of frenzy in her throat filling the hush of the room.

In a few moments more, she climaxed, dissolving into throbbing, impassioned release, crying out at the showers of sparks that fountained upward, drowning in black fire and glittering darkness.

Even as she was recovering, Kell moved upward, kissing her breast, her damp throat, the corner of her mouth. Raven lay panting for breath, replete, yet vaguely dissatisfied.

He had left her shaken with the realization of her own passion and filled with a desperate yearning. She wanted them joined, wanted to have him deep within her.

“Come inside me,” she whispered.

His eyes narrowed with heat and dangerous lust at her invitation, but he didn’t obey. Instead he stepped back to shed the rest of his clothing.

Shakily Raven pushed herself up to watch. He still wore a bandage around his thigh, she saw when he stood naked before her. But the beauty of his finely honed athletic body made her throat go dry. She felt her loins clench painfully. He was boldly a man and he wanted her. Just as she wanted him. All she could think about was how Kell’s splendid arousal would fill her…

He must have had the same thought for the glitter of his gaze swept over her as he moved toward her.

Her breath faltering, Raven reached up to touch his chest. His skin was hot and smooth as velvet, his muscles rippling beneath her fingertips. Her hands were actually shaking, she realized.

Yet Kell seemed undismayed by her distraught state. With a cool smile, he stepped between her parted legs and gathered her against his chest until her nipples nestled against his hard muscles, until the big rod of his straining arousal teased her throbbing feminine warmth.

Raven felt the shock of his naked flesh against her and quivered.

“Want me?” he asked, his masterful arms holding her lightly.

“Yes,” she answered, desire flooding in a mad rush, sweeping resistance before it.

She yielded willingly when he lay her back again upon the desk, trembling to feel the hard length of his body pinning her against the surface, anticipation taut and screaming through her senses. She hadn’t realized how desperate she was for this. It was as if her body had been starved for a man’s hardness, for Kell’s hardness. She wanted, needed, craved an end to the restless, hot longing he had created in her.

She could feel the heat of his rigid flesh probing her soft folds…

The same heat was in his eyes as he entered her slowly, gliding into her yielding, wet flesh. Raven drew a sharp breath as the fiery brand intruded into her delicate softness.

His kiss scorched the arch of her throat as he pushed into her. “Can you take all of me?” he murmured, his voice a rough rasp.

“Yes…” she panted. And she gasped aloud at the feel of him, huge and hot and urgent, forcing her wide open.

He held himself still then, waiting for her to grow accustomed to the feel of his engorged shaft inside her. It was a long moment before Raven relaxed beneath him.

“That’s it,” he praised in a hoarse whisper. “I want you flowing all around me like hot wild honey…”

He kissed her then. He cupped her breasts, erotically kneading them, while his tongue plunged rhythmically into her receptive mouth in a bold, sexual way. His taste, his scent, his touch filled her senses as he began moving inside her.

Raven whimpered into his mouth, her inner muscles tightening at the wet, white heat scalding her. She felt frenzied, unable to get enough of him.

Kell felt the same pulsing urgency in his body. Knowing his control was nearly at the breaking point, he gathered up the trembling, sexually aroused woman in his arms and lifted her. Still iron-hard within her, he swiftly crossed to the connecting door to his bedchamber.

He had planned to carry her to his bed but suddenly knew he couldn’t make it. So he pressed her up against the door and thrust deeply.

The painfully intense pleasure made them both shudder wildly.

He took her against the door, hard. His hand raked through her hair, sending the anchoring pins flying, while his mouth found hers, not letting her move or twist away. He felt her response, felt the convulsive movements of her hips arching into him as the heat of animal hunger flared between them.

Raven felt the same intense heat as his hard, straining body moved against her, branding her with his desire. He ravished her with fierce demand, yet she wasn’t afraid; she welcomed his fierceness.

Shuddering under the force of his thrusts, she rocked forward against him with desperate yearning. A roaring sounded in her ears as the exquisite pressure built. Raven tossed her head wildly, pumping her hips against him with frantic need.

Suddenly his muscles clenched. His head thrown back, his neck corded, he drove into her one final time. A moan burst out of him as his orgasm exploded in a powerful stream, pushing Raven over the edge. With a scream, she sank her teeth into the raw silk of his bare shoulder and gave herself up to the savage, unrestrained pleasure ripping through her.

They clung to each other in the aftermath, gasping for breath. An eternity later, Kell returned to earth to find Raven hiding her face against the base of his throat, her heart beating in a frenzied echo of his own.

Concern swept through him. His use of her had been devastatingly thorough; he had taken her with a pirate’s passion, with little regard for her inexperience.

Leaning back, he studied her flushed face, her swollen, bruised lips. “Did I hurt you?” he rasped.

“No,” she said quickly. And yet there was a vulnerable look about the mouth he had just ravished.

Searing heat and fierce tenderness filled him. He wanted to make it right. Next time he would show her more gentleness.

And there would definitely be a next time. He was tired of fighting his desire for her. Raven was his wife, and he wanted her; he should be able to have her.

Surely he could command enough strength of will to enjoy her body without falling for her. To slake his urgent need and still resist her incredible allure.

It would be difficult, but he was through denying himself.

His arms tightened about her for a moment, crushing her naked breasts to his chest. Keeping her legs wrapped around his hips, he managed to open the door and carry her to the bed, where he laid her down and stood staring down at her.

The room was dark but for the low-burning fire in the hearth, but Raven had no trouble seeing the glimmer of heat in his gaze or her own dishevelment. Her skirts and bodice were both tangled around her middle.

Blushing at her near nakedness, she stirred restlessly. “My gown is ruined…” she murmured, plucking at her bodice.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he replied as he began to strip her of her garments.

“Kell…what are you doing?”

“Undressing you. You’ll stay here tonight. You haven’t fully satisfied me yet.”

“Kell…” Raven bit her lower lip. She had agreed to attend to his sexual needs, not spend the night in his bed. “I don’t want to stay here with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because…it could lead to unwanted complications.”

That made him pause. “Physical intimacy can breed too much emotional intimacy, is that what you mean?”

She shivered. “Yes.”

Without replying, he removed her clothing completely, then eased the covers from beneath her hips and drew them up over her naked body. After going to the hearth and stoking the fire, Kell returned to the bed and slid in next to her. For a moment he lay beside her, staring at the ceiling, his arms laced behind his head. Finally he spoke.

“Do I understand your reservations correctly? You’re afraid to have a real lover because you’re determined never to fall in love?”

“Yes.” In a defensive gesture, Raven clutched the cover to her breasts.

Kell turned onto his side, supporting his head on one hand. “And yet sex and love are two entirely different matters. Passion doesn’t necessarily lead to love. If it did, most of the men of the beau monde would be in love with their mistresses.”

When she didn’t reply, he reached out to brush a tendril of hair from her cheek. “I see no reason we cannot be lovers, Raven. A relationship based purely on sensual pleasure. Like you, I’m not interested in anything deeper.”

Raven held herself rigid, wanting to look away from his eyes that seemed too burningly intense.

She couldn’t deny that she was afraid. Passion was dangerous; it could lead to terrible vulnerability. Yet perhaps Kell was right: the true danger didn’t lie in physical intimacy but in that of the emotional kind. A man could take pleasure from her body, but if he ensnared her heart, he took control.

Raven shuddered. She would never suffer a tragic love as her mother had. No man would ever render her senseless, without a will of her own.

Still, passion of the flesh didn’t always result in passion of the heart…

As if sensing her inner turmoil, Kell slipped his hand beneath the covers, resting his palm lightly on her breast. “Since we are tied together as man and wife, we might as well indulge ourselves.”

His warm, erotic touch distracted her, preventing her from forming a coherent reply.

“You enjoy my lovemaking, vixen,” he added in a low tone. “Your response a moment ago very clearly proved that.” He smiled knowingly. “Not many women are as responsive as you are. Your body craves my touch.” As if to prove his point, he brushed her peaked nipple with his thumb, making her arch involuntarily.

She did crave his touch, Raven thought in desperation, perhaps too much. And his brazen lovemaking…Trapped in his dark gaze, she stared back at him. It had thrilled her to have Kell take her like he had, as her pirate lover would have.

She swallowed against the dryness in her throat, struggling to break the hold Kell’s eyes had upon her. Was it possible, what he was suggesting? Could they engage in purely carnal relations without physical intimacy blossoming into anything deeper? Could she indulge in a passionate affair with her convenient husband without losing her heart?

Perhaps so…

But there were other considerations as well.

“What of the possible consequences?” she asked. “What about children?”

His features darkened in a frown. “What about them?”

“I don’t want to bring a child into this world without a father to love him, to care for him…”

“There are means of preventing pregnancy. We failed to take precautions tonight, but that can be remedied.”

Raven frowned as well, remembering how Kell had withdrawn from her body on their wedding night. “You are not interested in having children?”

“I’m not anxious to, no.”

She couldn’t read his impassive expression. “Not even to gain an heir? You wouldn’t want one someday?”

“Sean is my legal heir. That is enough for me.”

Raven stiffened at the mention of his brother and hastened to change the subject. “I know from the journal how to prevent pregnancy, but I have no idea how to obtain the necessary means.”

“Leave it to me,” Kell said brusquely before his tone softened. “Meanwhile…”

With slow deliberation, he pulled the covers from her grasp and reached down to stroke her inner thigh. His burning touch made her body clench with longing.

“There is still the matter of satisfying my sexual needs…” he murmured, his voice warm and rough like velvet. “And your own.”

Raven drew a steadying breath, vainly fighting the rush of desire that flooded over her. She wanted Kell to satisfy her. Desperately wanted him…

As his mouth slowly descended toward hers, she shut her eyes, ignoring the warning voices in her head. Surely she could manage a sexual relationship without tumbling into the quagmire of love.

Her chief goal would be to keep her heart safe, she vowed silently, trying to convince herself. She would never surrender her heart to this man…

Then the thought fled her mind as his scorching mouth met hers, and with a sensual shudder, she gave herself up to his caresses.