Family Ties

Chapter 19

In spite of everything Annie and Tom had said to dissuade her, and Paul’s parents had done the same, Katie and Paul left for London two weeks later, to connect with the flight to Tehran. They were excited about the trip, and Paul was thrilled at the prospect of seeing his relatives again, especially the grandfather he had worshipped as a child. They were planning to stay with Paul’s family for two weeks. And Annie and Paul’s parents went to the airport with them to see them off. The adults chatted amiably with each other, and Paul’s parents were very pleasant to Annie and Kate. Paul’s father helped them check in their bags, and his mother discreetly handed Katie a neatly folded head scarf and a thin, loose gray cotton coat. She explained that Katie would have to wear the head scarf when she got off the plane in Tehran and possibly on the flight. Katie would have to keep her hair covered at all times, and she might need the cotton coat on some occasions. Paul’s family would tell her when. Annie had convinced her to leave her most radical miniskirts at home, so as not to draw attention to herself, or offend anyone when she was there, and Katie had very sensibly agreed. She didn’t want to offend Paul’s family or anyone else. Annie was at least comforted by that.

Paul and Katie hugged all three of them and waved as they went through security. And once they were gone, Paul’s father reassured Annie and told her they would be fine. He said that Tehran was as sophisticated as New York, and he promised that his sister-in-law would take Katie under her wing, and Paul was a responsible young man. To Annie, they seemed too young to be going anywhere, especially so far away. It was the farthest distance Katie had ever traveled, and she had looked like a child when she picked up her backpack and went through security with Paul. Annie already missed her all the way home. The house was going to seem very empty without her. Katie was a huge presence in her daily life, and her absence would be sorely felt. And she told herself that the trip to Iran would be fine, and they’d be home in two weeks.

She had invited Tom to stay with her while Katie was gone, and they were both looking forward to it. The two weeks since their magical trip to the Turks and Caicos had been miraculously peaceful. None of her contractors had quit, her clients had behaved, Liz was busy at the magazine, they weren’t hearing much from Ted as he wrestled with his difficult situation, and Katie had been preoccupied with her preparations for her trip. And other than Annie’s worries about it, things had been pretty calm. She and Tom had managed several quiet dinners in good restaurants, and even the world news scene was uneventful at the moment.

The only thing on Annie’s stress agenda for now was Katie’s trip, and she was trying to be philosophical about it. She had almost convinced herself by then that she’d be all right, and Paul had solemnly promised to take care of her. They had looked like two innocents to Annie when they left. And she said a little prayer for them on her way home in the cab.

Annie called and talked to Whitney later that afternoon. She had told her about Tom by then, and Whitney was wildly excited about it and wanted her to bring him out to meet them. But her visit to them on New Year’s Eve had brought into sharp focus for Annie how different their lives were. She and Whitney shared history and a lot of years, but for an outsider, and even her, their quiet suburban life in Far Hills was incredibly boring. Their friends all drank too much and talked about their children. Most of them were doctors, and their conversations were about medicine, their latest trip, or their kids. She didn’t want to subject Tom to a painfully dull evening, and Whitney and Fred never came into town for dinner. So they hadn’t met. Whitney was enormously impressed that Annie was dating a well-known TV anchor. Annie didn’t want her making an issue of that if they came out to see her either, and she knew they would. His celebrity was too hard to resist. She could see it whenever they met new people or went to restaurants. He was a star in his own right, and some people reacted to it strangely, by showing off or trying to compete or being passive-aggressive and making rude comments. Tom was always polite about it, but she couldn’t see him enjoying an evening with Whitney and Fred and their friends in New Jersey. The truth was, she didn’t enjoy their circle of friends either, and the New Year’s Eve she had recently spent with them had been one of her worst ever, not to mention the appalling blind date. Tom had saved her from a lifetime of those evenings and men like Bob Graham, and Annie was forever grateful.

Whitney congratulated her on her new-found maturity that she had let Katie go to Tehran with Paul. She said it was going to be a fabulous experience for her, a whole new culture to discover, and she was impressed that Annie was being so reasonable about it.

“I had no other choice. I’m not calm about it. But I realize that you’re right, and I have to let them make their own mistakes. But don’t think for a second that this is easy.” She had had nightmares about it for weeks. But Katie had her BlackBerry, plenty of money, a credit card, and her return ticket home, and Annie had told her to call immediately or send a text if she had a problem. Katie had laughed at her when she said it.

“So what are you and Tom going to do while she’s gone?” Whitney asked. She knew that Katie living at home and not in the dorm this semester had cramped their style a little, but Annie had spent several nights with Tom at his apartment. And Annie suspected correctly that when she wasn’t around, Paul spent the night. They were dating, but if they decided to get married and have kids, it could get extremely complicated. But Kate was only twenty-one, and they weren’t discussing marriage, just a trip. Annie was trying to calm down about it and not get too worked up.

“Tom and I are going to run around the apartment naked while they’re gone,” Annie said with a grin in answer to Whitney’s question. “I have to admit, there comes a point when it’s a little challenging living with your adult kids. It’s awkward with Tom, but I love having her here. I just hope she goes back to school next term.” Annie was still upset about her job at the tattoo parlor, but she was trying to be less vocal about it. Tom had tempered her a little. She felt more relaxed about everything now that she was sharing life with him. She had another adult to talk to, and his perspective on most subjects was sensible, although he’d never had children and didn’t fully understand her bond to them and how close it was. But on the more practical issues, he was a big help. And with Katie gone for two weeks, they’d have the place to themselves.

Ted hadn’t come home for the night since the stabbing incident, although Annie had met him for lunch. He seemed to be doing all right, given the circumstances, although Annie thought he seemed nervous and very stressed. He was still upset about the baby. And despite Pattie’s constant pressure, he hadn’t agreed to marry her before August. She said it would be humiliating to get married when she was so pregnant, but Ted wouldn’t relent on that. August was the best he was willing to do, no matter how much she cried and whined about it. He felt pressured enough as it was, and he still thought it was wrong for them to have the baby. He wasn’t prepared to take that on, but he had agreed to step up to the plate. He was being very good to her and had taken over all the household chores for her. And he was honest with Annie that he was behind in his studying and was worried about his midterms. Even an unmerited gift of Pattie’s A couldn’t pull up his GPA.

And Liz had said something to Annie about a new man in her life, but she hadn’t said who. She was being mysterious about it, and Annie didn’t push. She assumed it was one of her typical guys, a photographer or model or someone she had met through work.

“I thought you said you were taking a break,” Annie reminded her, and Liz laughed.

“I am… I was… I don’t know… this is very new. It’s nothing yet. He lives in Rome, and I’ve only seen him a few times. I met him in Paris over New Year’s, and he was here on business a few weeks ago. We had lunch and dinner, but it probably can’t go anywhere. He hardly ever comes to New York, and I only go to Rome a couple of times a year.” A relationship with Alessandro wasn’t a very realistic hope, but he was calling her several times a day, and Liz had wonderful conversations with him, about serious subjects. He had promised to come to see her in Paris the next time she was there.

“Geography isn’t insurmountable, you know,” Annie reminded her, “for the right guy. If it ever got serious, maybe you could get a job at Italian Vogue.”

“That’s what he says,” Liz said thoughtfully, “but we’re a long way from there. I haven’t even slept with him yet. I didn’t want to get carried away with a guy I might never see again.” But she had to admit to herself, if not to Annie, that it had been hard to resist. He had kissed her when they walked through Central Park, and she nearly melted in his arms, and there had been a serious makeout session on her couch that night, but they had both managed to restrain themselves, and Liz was glad she had.

“It doesn’t sound very likely that you won’t see him again,” Annie commented with a smile. She’d never heard Liz sound like this about any man. But the men she had always gone out with were boys. Alessandro was a man. And she didn’t sound frightened this time. For the first time in her life, Liz was willing to risk her heart. Annie was happy for her, and relieved. Liz deserved a good man, and not the flakes she’d been going out with for years. And she wished Ted would find a nice girl too. That certainly wasn’t the case for the moment.

Ted had gone to a basketball game at NYU with one of his roommates on a Friday night, on a weekend when Pattie’s kids were with their father, and she had complained that she wanted Ted home with her. She said she had a headache, but he’d been gently insistent that he needed a break. He never saw his friends anymore, and she had insisted he be with her constantly ever since she told him she was pregnant. But for once he told her he was going out, and said he’d stay at his own apartment afterward, since he’d probably have too much to drink, and she didn’t like that either. He needed a little room to spread his wings.

But he didn’t drink as much as he thought he would at the game, their team lost, and he felt guilty on his way home, so he left his roommate and went back to Pattie’s apartment to surprise her. She was lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, watching a romantic comedy, and she was thrilled to see him when he walked through the door with his key.

“What are you doing here?” she asked with pleasure. She still looked the same. She hadn’t started to gain weight yet, but she was only two and a half months pregnant, and she was a tall, full-bodied woman and carried it well.

“I missed you,” he said simply, and smiled at her. In part it was true. He was used to her now. But he also knew that she’d find some way to punish him the next day for going to the game with his friends. She had none of her own. She was completely dependent on Ted for all her entertainment, emotional sustenance, and distraction. She never wanted to spend five minutes away from him, so it was easier to just go back to her apartment than listen to her complain about it later.

“Did you eat dinner?” she asked him as she lay on the couch. She wasn’t much of a cook, but she kept him fed. They lived mostly on pizza and Chinese takeout, which he paid for, and once in a blue moon she cooked. There was a bucket of KFC in the kitchen, and he helped himself to a piece.

“I had a hot dog and nachos at the game,” he said, and then finished a piece of chicken, cracked open a beer, and decided to go to the bathroom first. He closed the door and turned on the light and then stared at what he saw in the bowl. He didn’t understand it. It didn’t belong there, and there was no one in the apartment but her. It looked like an injured mouse, but it was a bloody tampon, and there was blood in the bowl. She had forgotten to flush. And she clearly wasn’t having a miscarriage or distressed about it. She was laughing loudly at the film she had seen a dozen times before, and she smiled as he came out of the bathroom.

His head was reeling, but he said nothing to her. He walked into the kitchen and stared out the window, trying to understand what he’d seen and what it meant. It didn’t seem possible that she would do that to him. But what if she had? What if it was all a lie and a hoax? His whole body was trembling as he stood there, and he had to know. He grabbed his coat, strode to the door, and said something vague to Pattie about being back in a few minutes.

“Where are you going?” She looked surprised that he was leaving.

“I’ll be back in five minutes,” he said, looking distressed, without further explanation, and then he was gone. She wasn’t worried. She knew he’d be back. He acted like a kid sometimes.

There was a Duane Reade two blocks away that stayed open all night. He bought a pregnancy kit with two tests in it, put it in his pocket, ran back to the apartment, and sprinted up the stairs. He was still shaking, and there was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. She reached out and touched his crotch, and he took her hand, and then pulled her firmly up from the couch. He still had his coat on, and there was a frightening look in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” She looked puzzled and confused, as he led her into the bathroom, and she followed. “What is this, Ted?” She had no idea what he had in mind or why he had gone out.

“You tell me,” he said in a shattered voice. She reached for him, thinking he wanted to have sex with her, but it was clear he didn’t, and he wouldn’t let her touch him. He reached into his pocket and handed her the pregnancy kit, and Pattie looked startled. “I don’t need that,” she said, laughing at him. “Don’t be silly.” She tried to make a game of it and stroked him through his jeans. He didn’t move an inch and opened the box for her and handed her the test, as her face went pale.

“Do it,” he said in a voice that sounded like someone else’s. He looked cold, and he was shaking. She had tried to destroy his life and had almost blackmailed him into marrying her over a baby he now suspected didn’t exist. He left the bathroom and waited just outside the door. She took a long time, and he could hear her crying. The game was over. And then she finally came out, without the test, and looked at him in despair.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, as tears poured down her cheeks. She looked panicked. They both knew that if she’d done it, the test would have shown she wasn’t pregnant. Now he understood why she had told him she had a headache that afternoon. For once, she was willing to forgo sex, because she didn’t want him to discover that she had her period. But the game was up now. He saw all the life go out of her as they both stood there.

“I love you, Ted,” she whispered through a sob. “I’m sorry.”

“How could you do that to me? Threaten me and tell me you would kill yourself and the baby, that I had to marry you now and not later? What were you going to do when you never got big-tell me you lost it? What a fucking fool I was, and what a bitch you are!” he said, still shaking with rage and relief. “Don’t ever come near me again. Never!” he said as he walked past her to the door, and she ran to him, sank to the floor, and clung to him.

“Don’t leave me,” she said, clutching at his legs. “I love you, Ted.” She was begging him not to go.

“You don’t know the meaning of the word,” he said as he opened the door and pulled away from her. He still had his coat on from when he’d gone to the store. There was nothing he wanted from the apartment. Whatever he had there, he never wanted to see again, and especially her. She had lied to him about being pregnant and tried to destroy his life. He looked down at her with disgust, left, and slammed the door behind him. He ran down the stairs, threw open the door that led to the street, and took big gulps of the cold air.

And then he ran all the way home. He felt like he had escaped from prison. He had broken out. He had gotten one lucky break with the bloody tampon she’d forgotten to flush down the toilet. He wanted to shout as he ran down the street. He didn’t love her. He hated her. She had tried to ruin his life, and he had tried to do the right thing. He had almost given up law school for her, and his life, and she had lied to him and manipulated him. She had used sex to control him and threats of suicide to hold him prisoner. His cell phone was ringing as he ran down the street, and he didn’t answer it. She had lied to him totally. There had never been a baby. Just Pattie with her hooks into him.

He let himself into his apartment and poured himself two stiff shots of tequila and downed them at one gulp as one of his roommates walked in.

“Are we having a party?” he said with a broad grin.

“I am,” Ted said. He already felt better than he had in weeks, even months. He was free.

He poured himself a third shot, and his roommate cautioned him. “Take it easy, buddy. You’ll feel like shit tomorrow.” But he felt incredible tonight. It was strange, suddenly hating someone he was supposed to love and had even promised to marry. But she was never the person she pretended to be. He sat on the couch, watched TV with the tequila bottle between his legs, poured himself shots, and stared into space, trying to absorb what had happened to him.

It was two in the morning when the emergency room at Downtown Hospital called his apartment. One of his roommates answered it and told Ted it was for him. He listened to what they said and made no comment.

“Will she be okay?” he finally asked in a dead voice. He was very drunk but not totally incoherent. He understood what the man had said. Pattie was in the emergency room and had had her stomach pumped. They said she had taken six sleeping pills, which wouldn’t have been enough to kill her, and had called 911 herself. They said she’d be fine tomorrow, although she was on a psychiatric hold for evaluation, since she admitted it was a suicide attempt, and she had told them to call him. It had been a feeble attempt.

“She’d like you to come in to see her,” the attendant told him.

“Tell her I’m too drunk. I’ll come by in the morning.” And with that, he hung up, took a last shot of tequila, and went to bed. He didn’t care about her suicide attempt. It was as fake as their baby that had never existed, and just another manipulation. He understood that now.

He woke up with a huge headache the next morning, but at nine-thirty he was at the hospital as he’d said he would be. He found her room easily, and she was lying on the bed looking sick. A nurse’s aide was sitting in the chair next to her, on suicide watch, and she offered to leave when Ted walked into the room, but he declined. He looked young and handsome and very hung over. But in spite of the excesses of the night before, he felt better than he had in months. Pattie looked considerably worse. They had decided to keep her for another day, until the psych resident saw her. And she didn’t look pleased to be there. She started to cry the minute she saw Ted, and held out her arms to him. Ted didn’t move toward her. He stood just inside the doorway where she couldn’t reach him, and he didn’t approach the bed.

“I’m done, Pattie. It’s over. Don’t threaten me anymore, don’t bother to kill yourself over me, or pretend to. Don’t tell me you love me or anything about our ‘baby.’ I’m done. Finished. I don’t care what you do. You never should have done this, any of it, or pretended you were pregnant.” The nurse’s aide was watching them with interest and Pattie lay facedown on the bed, sobbing. “Get out of my life. You are out of my life. And don’t call me. I’ll send you my papers for the contracts class, and I don’t give a flying fuck if you flunk me. Do whatever you want. What you did is disgusting.” And with that, he walked out of the room, and the door whooshed slowly closed behind him. He could hear her sobbing, but he didn’t care.

It was the icing on the cake when one of the nurses spoke to him on the way out and said how sorry she was that Pattie was back again. She said that after four such attempts, she would probably benefit from in-patient treatment this time. And she guessed correctly that Ted was one of her students. She said that her last two boyfriends had been too. It was indiscreet of her, and Ted’s stomach turned over as he listened. He wondered how many of his fellow students she had done this to, how many times she had pretended to be pregnant and faked suicide to keep them. The thought of what she’d done to him made him feel sick. Pattie was a desperate woman.

Ted called Annie as soon as he got home and told her what had happened.

“It was all a lie,” he told Annie in a dead voice. “She was never pregnant.”

“How did you find out?” she asked. She and Tom were at the breakfast table reading the paper. They had plans for the weekend.

“I just did. She was lying the whole time.” His voice choked as he said it, thinking of all the times she had cried and berated him and threatened to kill herself if he didn’t do what she wanted. He wasn’t even afraid of that now. He couldn’t imagine ever being afraid of anything again, or believing anyone. It was going to take him a long time to trust someone again. “It’s over,” he said quietly. And then he called Liz and told her.

He lay on his bed after that with a pounding head and a light heart, thinking about what had happened. He realized now that he had been addicted to her, she had wanted it that way, and she had used his addiction to control him. It was terrifying to think about it now. All he could think about was how lucky he was that he had found out, and how grateful he was to be free.

“What happened?” Tom asked Annie when she hung up. He could tell that it was something important.

“I don’t know. Ted discovered that Pattie wasn’t really pregnant. He said it was all a lie, a hoax. Apparently, he discovered it last night. He said it’s over. Thank God.” She heaved a sigh of relief and smiled at Tom.

“Well, you can take that off your worry list,” he said as he leaned over and kissed her. “Sounds like he got a lucky break.” She smiled broadly and poured him a second cup of coffee. By then Ted was already sound asleep on his bed, with a smile on his face, sleeping off the tequila.