Fangs But No Fangs

CHAPTER 29

Jolee sat in Christian's car, unable to calm her racing heart or relax back against the seat. What was he going to tell her? She kept chanting to calm down, but her body wouldn't listen. She simply had too much bad news and negative experiences in her life to let herself believe this would be any different.

She managed to throw a quick glance over at Christian, but he was focused on the road, his jaw set, his expression grim.

Dread filled her. This wasn't good.

He parked the car in front of her trailer, and came around to open the door for her, but she couldn't wait for him. She was too nervous.

He stood back and waited for her to close the door, then he let her lead him into the trailer. Once inside, they both just stood there.

Finally the tension was simply too much.

"What is going on, Christian?" she demanded.

He didn't answer right away. Instead, he stared down at the floor as if the worn beige linoleum was suddenly fascinating.

"Please," she said, "tell me. You're scaring me."

He looked up then. "That's why I don't want to tell you. I never, never wanted to frighten you."

Her chest tightened and she found it hard to breathe. He was frightening her, very much. But now they couldn't not go forward. She knew he had something awful to tell her, and as much as she'd like to just go back and pretend there was no problem, there was.

"Is it about your family? Or you?"

"All of us."

She couldn't imagine what it could be. They were a great family. They hadn't even hesitated to forgive Christian for Lilah. They hadn't hesitated to take her in and make her feel a part of them.

"Are… are you in the mafia?" She knew it was a lame suggestion but one of the only ones she could think of.

He frowned. "No."

"A cult?" she added almost jokingly.

He paused at that.

Oh God, they were in a cult. Although she hadn't noticed Christian having any odd religious beliefs. She didn't notice that with any of them. And what cult would let its members own a nightclub? That didn't seem to add up.

But Christian said slowly, "I guess you could say, we are in a cult of sorts."

She frowned now, waiting for him to continue.

Instead of giving a description of their beliefs and strange rituals, he said, "You know the man who came in today?"

She nodded. Was he a member, too?

"He was here to see me."

This was the big news? She stared at him, confused. That the odd man in the tweed coat was here to see… Her eyes widened.

He nodded at the realization in her eyes. "I'm the vampire."

Jolee gaped at him. Was he serious? He sure looked serious. Dead serious. She laughed slightly at her pun. This was crazy.

He still just watched her, no amusement on his perfect features.

"You are kidding, right? Sebastian set you up to this, didn't he? I can tell he's a joker."

He shook his head. "I was born in 1795. In England. That makes me two hundred and ten years old."

She stared at him again, then shook her head. "There is no such thing as vampires."

"Yes, there are. I'm one. My brothers. Jane."

Jane? Jane, the girl next door, sweet and friendly?

"This is ridiculous," she stated, getting irritated. Why was he telling her this? What was the point? It wasn't funny. It was creepy.

"Why are you telling me this?" she demanded out loud.

"Jolee," he said almost coaxingly. "I didn't want to, but I had to. You deserve to know."

"Deserve to know you are insane?" She stepped back from him.

"I know it does sound insane. I know. But it's the truth. Lilah was a vampire. She made me a vampire, and she made my brothers vampires, as well."

She couldn't even think what to say. He wasn't relenting on this. He didn't think this was a joke, he believed it. She could see his conviction in his pale eyes.

Rage filled her. She loved this man. She trusted him, and he was telling her something stupid like this. She suddenly didn't know who this guy was.

"Lilah was a vampire?" she asked slowly.

"Yes."

"And you're a vampire?"

"Yes."

"Show me," she said suddenly. "Show me you're a vampire."

He stared at for a moment, but then looked away. Finally he admitted, "I can't."

"Why not?" she almost taunted, her anger making her rude. "If you are a vampire, shouldn't you have fangs and turn into a bat and all that good stuff?"

"Yes," he said. "But I can't. Since I've been here I've stopped using my abilities, and now it's like my vampirism has gone dormant. That was why I wanted to meet Dr. Fowler. I had hoped he could help me."

Dr. Fowler? Oh yes, the crazy in the tweed.

"Help you bite?"

"Yes."

This was just nuts. Then she recalled something the man had said. "He was here to help you bite so you could mate."

He nodded. "Yes."

"With me?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God!" She covered her face with her hands. "Oh my God."

"Jolee, I know this is a lot to absorb."

"Absorb? I don't intend to absorb this. You are crazy."

He started to step toward her to speak again, but she put up a hand to stop him.

"No. I don't want to hear any more."

"Jolee, I love you."

She laughed bitterly. "Well, this is an interesting way of showing it."

Her emotions were strangling her, rage, fear, hurt, disappointment. "You know what? You need to go."

When he didn't move, she pointed at the door. "Now."

He hesitated, then nodded. Without another word, he left, leaving her in the kitchen to stare at the closed door.

She remained in the kitchen, staring blankly for… she had no idea how long. Then she finally crossed to turn the lock and barricade the door with one of her folding chairs.

What had just happened? She didn't even know. She couldn't believe any of it. Christian, the man she'd made love with, worked with, trusted more than anyone in her life, the man she loved, had just told her he was a vampire. It was so crazy she couldn't wrap her mind around it. She couldn't believe it.

He'd said he was as bad as the men she'd dated in the past. But he was wrong. He was worse. Because he'd made her love him, and then he'd revealed that he was insane.

She closed her eyes and tried to pull in calming breath. But a ragged, frantic laugh escaped instead. Why? God, why was this happening? She'd loved him. She'd thought she'd found the perfect man.. Finally.

How had he acted so normal? Okay, he was never normal. He was always far different from anyone she'd ever met. But he hadn't acted insane. She paced her living room, trying to understand how a person could just suddenly say what he had. It didn't make sense.

She paused, looking out her window at his darkened trailer. He did stay up all night. But she'd woken him up many times during the day. Shouldn't he be dead or something during the day?

"Why are you even questioning this?" she asked herself. "He's crazy. You have just made the mistake of falling for another loser. Again."

Except she knew that wasn't true. She'd never fallen for any other man. Not like she had for Christian. And that was why this hurt. It hurt so much she could barely breathe.

A vampire? Why a vampire? Because he was nuts. There didn't have to be any reasoning behind his choice.

He did get pale a lot.

"So he's sick. He probably needs medication."

He was very strong.

"So he's physically fit."

Why was she trying to find things that supported his delusion? Was she that desperate for a man? No, she was just that desperate for him.

Then she remembered the list on his fridge. His twelve steps to being human. He had that because he believed he was a vampire. Nausea filled her. All the time they'd been together he'd believed he was a vampire. Although it wasn't like it mattered when he believed it. He did believe it.

She collapsed onto one of her folding chairs and dropped her face into her hands. She wasn't going to cry. But she'd never wanted to more.

Her heart was broken. And she'd left her bar in the hands of a family of wanna-be vampires.

"How did it go?" Rhys asked as soon as Christian entered the bar.

"Great. She's pissed, and she thinks I'm a lunatic."

"She'll come around," Sebastian assured him.

Yeah, she'd come around and realize she was insane herself to have feelings for him. And who could blame her? Jolee just wanted someone normal. She wanted a man to stand by her side and love her. Even if she ever did believe him, she wouldn't want his lifestyle. She'd been on the outside looking in for her whole life. Why would she become an even bigger outcast than her last name had made her? She wouldn't. And Christian knew it had been just another selfish act on his part to expect that of her.

Christian kept the bar going the remainder of the night along with his brothers and Jane. He'd closed up, putting all the money in a zippered bank bag that Jolee had in her desk. He'd bring it home with him since she didn't have a new safe yet— one oversight when he was replacing items.

He wrote her a note, telling her he had the money and he'd drop it off tomorrow. He didn't add that that would be the last time he'd see her. He imagined that was implied.

"Was Jolee not feeling well tonight?" Jed asked as he slid off his stool and headed toward the back door.

"No," Christian said.

Jed nodded. "You don't look too well yourself."

He shrugged. He didn't care about himself, only Jolee. Was she okay? He hoped so. He hoped she would go on and forget about him. She deserved to be happy, and if he couldn't give her that, then he prayed she found happiness with another. The idea made him ache, made him want to shout out in pain, but he had to let her go.

"You two had a fight, eh?"

He blinked at Jed. A fight? He wished. He could apologize for a fight. He could make amends. He couldn't make amends for who he was, aside from just leaving her alone.

"A bit more than a fight, Jed. I don't think you will be seeing me around much anymore."

"Why? What happened?"

"Let's just say we're too different." He assumed the old man would think he was saying that he didn't fit in with her and her life. After all, when he started here, he didn't. Now, this stupid, run-down bar was exactly where he wanted to be. But he should have known better about this shrewd old man.

"Give her time. It takes us mortals a little time to wrap our minds around beings like you."

Christian stared at him. "Mortals? Beings like me?"

Jed shrugged with nonchalance. "You don't live behind a bar for thirty years and not see a few things."

Jed's blue gaze actually unnerved Christian. How could this man be so wise, so blasé about what he was saying? He didn't consider insulting the old man's intelligence.

"How did you know?"

"It was that face of yours. Prettier than any man should be. And your brothers, too."

That surprised Christian. Most humans didn't notice that. They just responded to the beauty. They didn't question it.

"And," Jed added, "I have been watching you tend bar for quite a few nights now. While those bottles were blocking the mirror, I didn't see. But the other night, I noticed something a little strange about your reflection. You're a little see-through, son."

The mirror. He hadn't even thought about that the other night. But apparently no one else had noticed. Vampires weren't invisible, as folklore portrayed them. They were more just… blurry. And a little see-through. But someone would have to be looking for it to really notice.

Then he realized that was one thing he could have used to prove to Jolee he was telling the truth. He couldn't show his fangs or transform to shadow, but his odd reflection would have been there. Now it was too late. And for the best, too. She needed a normal life. A real life. He knew that now.

Still he stared at Jed, then shook his head. "You're something. Why didn't you say something earlier?"

Jed grinned. "I didn't see any point. I can tell you are a good sort, no matter what you are. Another thing you learn from living behind a bar. And I know you love our Jolee girl. She'll come around."

She wouldn't, but Christian didn't tell the man that. He'd only argue and there would be no point.

"Good night," Jed said, thumping him on the back with almost fatherly affection. The gesture caused Christian's chest to tighten. He'd come to care about this old mortal, and he would miss him.

"Good night, Jed."

Jed disappeared outside, and Christian finished locking up. He didn't have a key, but fortunately Sebastian's powers weren't shot. He locked the door from the inside and slipped under the door in the form of mist. He was a terrible show-off.

"So what do we do now?" Sebastian asked when they got back to the trailer park. Christian glanced at Jolee's trailer. All the lights were off. Not even her radio played.

"I'm going to bed." Christian trudged up his front steps, actually feeling his 210 years of existence.

"You really are a complete dolt, you do know that," Sebastian stated as he followed him into the trailer. "Jolee is your mate. You spend nearly two hundred years worshipping a lunatic, then you finally find your real mate. She is wonderful and loving and crazy about you, and you plan to just let her go."

Christian turned to his brother, irritated. "I don't want to let her go, but I can't make her accept me. You know that. Look what Lilah did, trying to make Rhys accept. She practically destroyed us all. I won't hurt her!"

He took a breath, calming himself. "Besides, she deserves better than me."

With that he left his brothers and Jane in the living room. He needed to be alone. He went into the second bedroom, which was bare except for an old mattress on the floor. He collapsed on it, dropping his arm over his eyes. He just wanted to forget. He just wanted to feel no pain.

Jolee looked at her clock. It was 8:30 a.m. and she hadn't managed to sleep a wink. But how had she really thought she was going to? Not every day did the man she loved tell her he was a vampire. That merited a night of insomnia.

She sighed and pushed out of bed, padding to the kitchen. She supposed she should walk to the bar and make sure that everything was all right. For some reason, she believed the place was fine, which was strange as she thought Christian had to be certifiable. And the rest of his family was questionable at best.

She wandered to the fridge and got out a pitcher of orange juice. She carried it to the counter and started to reach for a glass. Her hand paused as she noticed the items on the counter-top. She set down the pitcher, and with shaking hands she lifted the item. The zippered money bag from her bank. The one she had to put her money in for deposits.

She looked around. The metal chair was still wedged under the doorknob. She'd also placed one under the handle of the back door. Even her windows were locked. How had this appeared here?

Beside the bag was a white piece of paper with small, crisp handwriting lining the width. She picked up the paper and began to read.

Dear Jolee,

Here is the money from last night. The bar had a good night, very busy. Sebastian did a great job with the karaoke. The women loved him— no surprise there.

Perhaps you are wondering how I got this into the trailer, as I know you had the place locked up tight, which is understandable.

Jolee, I know you don't want to believe this, but I'm a vampire, too.

Jolee's hand trembled and she started to put the letter down, but she couldn't. She had to read on.

And I can enter your house as a shadow or as mist. It's just one of the abilities I now have.

She looked around her, a cold chill stealing up her spine. No, this was nonsense. Then she looked at the zippered bag. She knew the bag and the letter hadn't been there last night, and she hadn't slept. So how had she not heard anyone come in the trailer? How had that happened?

I became a vampire after Christian attacked me.

Jolee made a noise in her throat.

Please don't let that frighten you. He is not the same Christian now that he was back then. He was still under Lilah's influence then. He still believed Rhys had wronged him. And he didn't actually cross me over to vampirism. My beloved Rhys did that, and I'm eternally grateful. He is the love of my life. My soul mate. Just as Christian is yours. I can see that. I can sense it.

Jolee, I know this is hard to accept, nearly impossible to believe, but what he told you is true. Vampires do exist. And they are not evil creatures of the night.

For me, vampires have been the family I never had. And I've never been happier or felt more blessed. Whatever you decide, please know that none of us ever meant you any harm. And I'm pleased to have met you.

Best wishes,

Jane

Jolee read the letter again. She didn't know what to believe. What to think. She set the letter down, and then went through the trailer checking all the windows and doors. Everything was as she'd left it. And she hadn't heard a sound. She had been too agitated to have missed even the slightest noise.

She hurried back to her living room, looking across to Christian's trailer. His heavy shades were drawn and his car was parked in the driveway. Rhys and Sebastian's SUV was beside his Porsche. Did he have those heavy blinds to keep out the sun? Her room wasn't as dark, and he slept in there fine.

She walked back to her room, and realized the room was quite dark, especially if the curtains were pulled over the blinds which, now that she thought about it, Christian always did at some point in the night.

Okay, she was losing it. She was actually starting to consider that this ludicrous story could possibly be real. Walking back to the kitchen, she glanced once more at the money and the letter. Those were real and they'd gotten there somehow.

Bang! Jolee jumped as her door shook as if it was going to be ripped from the hinges. She rushed over and peered out the window. Vance stood on the other side, furious.

She hesitated, but then moved the chair. Bad move. As soon as she did, Vance shouldered the door open.

"You little bitch," he gritted out as he stalked toward her. He looked wild and unkempt. His greasy hair spiked from his head. His shirt and jeans were dirty. She backed away from him, but also tried to avoid being cornered.

"Vance, wh-what are you doing here?"

He laughed bitterly. "Like you don't know. First, you didn't give me some money. Not smart. But this last thing, Jolee. Oh, you are going to pay for that."

Jolee shook her head. "I don't know what you are talking about."

He laughed again, his lips curling back menacingly. He stalked forward, and she shifted away, trying to move so that she could reach the door.

"I can't go back to prison."

Jolee realized the police must have questioned him and found some evidence. Or drugs. She glanced at the door, gauging her position. She had to keep him talking, and keep herself moving slowly. If she could get out the door, she could run to Christian.

"I can drop any charges. You can get help."

He laughed again. "I already came to you for help. For money. But you wouldn't give it to me. That wasn't very helpful."

But he stepped closer, stopping her slow sidestep toward the door. "And now I have the damned pigs after me. Not helpful, Cherry. Not helpful at all."

"Vance," she said in a gentle tone, afraid he was going to come closer. "I'll just forget everything. Just let all this go."

He laughed at that. A rough bark. "Too late, sis. They know what I did with that money. They plan to take me in for possession."

"Then you need to go, now," she said, making the fear in her voice sound like it was for him.

Vance nodded. "Yes. I do. But not before I make you pay."

He lunged at her, catching her arm just as she reached the front stoop. He jerked her backward, wrenching her arm. She screamed out in pain and lost her balance, falling hard on the stoop, her body half in and half out of the front door.

Before she could get her bearing, Vance straddled her, his weight forcing her breath out of her. He pinned her arms to the linoleum and loomed over her.

"I'm not letting my trailer trash sister and her cocky-ass boyfriend get the better of me."

Vance hit her then, backhanding her right across the face. She gasped and saw stars. She had to stay conscious. If she passed out, God only knew what Vance might do. He looked strung out, insane.

He hit her again. A bolt of pain shot from her cheekbone throughout her head. She needed help. She needed Christian.

Vance lifted his hand again, and this time his hand was fisted. Maybe he meant to beat her to death.

"Christian," she tried to shout, his name no more than a disoriented cry that he would never hear. She started to lose consciousness.

Christian awoke immediately, hearing Jolee calling for him, feeling her pain. He struggled to his feet, disoriented but desperate to find her. He staggered down the hall, focusing on Jolee and where she was. She was in her trailer. She was in pain.

Her voice reached him again. "Christian!"

He reached for the knob, throwing open his front door. He immediately recoiled as sunlight burned his eyes. He stumbled back out of the direct sunlight and blinked through watering eyes, trying to find her.

He did. Prone on her top step with a man on top of her, hurting her. He saw the man's hand rear back to strike her, and he darted out into the sunlight.

He didn't even feel the rays sear the bare skin of his back, blistering everywhere it touched. All he could focus on was getting to Jolee, protecting her.

He reached them quickly, even though his movements were heavy and awkward. He caught the back of the man's shirt and pulled him off her. Unfortunately, his body was weighted and clumsy from the sun, and the two men rolled down the metal stairs into a heap.

The man rose over Christian, prepared to attack, and Christian saw the man's face. Vance. Of course it was Vance. The bastard. And as Vance saw Christian, he froze, appalled. Christian knew how he must look, blistered and charred. Horrifying.

Vance tried to scramble away backward, on his hands and feet like a scared crab. Christian didn't allow his retreat. He managed to stand in one move, the action costing him much of his energy. But he pushed away the ponderous fatigue and caught Vance's shirt, lifting the man with one arm. Then he punched Vance repeatedly until his nose and lips bled.

"If you come near Jolee again, I will kill you. Do you hear me?"

His voice was raw, grating.

Vance didn't answer. Christian released him, and he fell in a crumpled heap on the gravel, unconscious.

Christian fell, too. He tried to stand, to go to Jolee, but the sun stole his strength, just as it was stealing his life. He made it to his feet, only to fall back to his knees in the dirt. He tried again, but couldn't. He was dying.

He fell heavily, face down; he could now smell the burn of his own skin. He could hear the sizzle. Then he heard a small distressed cry beside him, and he felt Jolee's hands on him. They were blessedly cool on his marred flesh.

He sighed.

"Christian. Oh God, Christian. Please get up." She tugged at him.

At first, he didn't even try. But her pulls became more frantic, and he worried that she'd hurt herself. He used the little strength he had to work with her as she caught him under the arms and dragged him toward the stairs.

After much struggling, she got him into the kitchen, then she managed to pull him down the hall to her bedroom. She left him on the floor to go secure the curtains closed, then she tried to lift him up to the bed, but he had no energy left and she simply wasn't strong enough.

She collapsed onto the floor beside him. Again she touched his face, his hair. "Oh, Christian."

"A fright, aren't I?" he managed to rasp.

"No," she assured him. "No."

She started to stand again. "I have to get your brothers."

He caught her arm; his charred hand looked hideous against her smooth, pale skin. He released her. "No. Will happen to them, too."

She hesitated, then nodded. "But I need to get you to a doctor."

"Won't help."

She shook her head. "Then what should I do? You need help."

"Too late," he breathed.

Jolee shook her head, a desperate sound escaping her lips. No. He couldn't be dying. He couldn't. But as she looked at his horribly ravaged skin, she knew he couldn't survive.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

He shook his head just slightly as if to tell her it didn't matter. Then he smiled, his beautiful lips cracked and blistered. "Showed you."

She knew he meant to be funny, but she couldn't laugh. Instead a desperate whimper escaped her. She couldn't lose this man. This man who risked himself to save her. A woman who'd told him he was insane, who didn't believe him and trust him after all the wonderful things he'd done for her. And now he was dying— because of her.

He lifted a burnt hand to her face, not touching her, just gesturing to her face. "You have bruises."

How could he worry about her? About a few bruises that would heal. He was dying. Her heart twisted, stealing her breath.

"Christian. There has to be a way to save you."

He shook his head. "No."

"But I can't lose you. I love you."

He smiled. "Love you, too." His eyes closed.

She looked around helplessly as if she'd find something to help him in her room. Maybe there was. Maybe she was the thing that could save him.

"What if you fed? Would that help you?"

He blinked his pale eyes open.

"No," he said. In those pale eyes that were sometimes so unreadable, she saw she was right. She could save him with her blood.

"You have to bite me."

"No. Would need too much."

"Would you kill me? Or cross me over?"

"Cross," he stated. "But can't bite."

Her chest squeezed. He couldn't bite. He'd told her that. She couldn't save him, like he'd saved her.

She made a strangled sound, touching his scorched face. She was failing the man she loved. She was losing him.

She stared down at him, helpless.

"Don't cry."

It wasn't until he said the words that she realized tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Then don't leave me," she pleaded. "Please."

He nodded, although she knew he was just appeasing her.

She slid her arm under his back and managed to pull him up, cradling him against her chest, her back braced against the wall. She buried her face in his hair, sobbing helplessly. He shifted, his mouth brushing the base of her throat.

"Don't," he whispered.

"Then stay with me. Make me like you. I want to be with you forever."

He didn't move for a moment, and she feared he was gone. Then she felt the brush of his lips on her skin again. Then a startling pierce at her neck, then tremendous, overwhelming satisfaction. Then nothing.

When she awoke, she was in bed. She sat up, looking around her, expecting Christian to be gone, expecting to discover that the events of earlier were just a dream, a nightmare.

Then she saw him. He stood in the doorway in only a pair of dusty black pants, but the dust was the only sign of his earlier struggle. The charred, blistered skin she remembered was again golden and smooth and perfect.

He regarded her with a worried expression, his eyes clouded with guilt. Only then did she feel the changes in herself. The energy in her veins, the strength in her body. She felt wonderful.

"Am I a vampire?" she asked him.

He nodded, looking pained. She scrambled off the bed and went to him, wrapping her arms around him, pressing her cheek to his bare chest.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for not leaving me."

He gently caught her upper arms and pushed her away enough so that he could look at her. "How can you thank me? I used your blood to save my own existence."

"No," she said with a smile. "You used my blood to give us forever."

He stared at her for a moment, then pulled her tightly against his chest. His mouth captured hers.

"Why did Lilah walk out into the sun?" she asked, now knowing that was what she must have done.

Christian frowned, surprised by the question. "She killed herself because she was crazy, and never recovered from the fact she couldn't control Rhys as she did me. She wanted him, and he fought her. He was strong."

She shook her head. "No, you are strong. You risked your own life to save me."

"I love you," he said simply.

"Good thing," she said with a saucy smile. "I don't cry for just anyone."

"You will never have reason to cry again," he promised her. And Jolee knew he was telling her the truth. And she believed him.