Fearless

Chapter Ten

I started crying for no reason. It was lame really but suddenly my brain went to that possibility—what if. What if things had turned out differently. What if Wes hadn’t made it. And I wasn’t sitting in a lobby or restaurant waiting for his smiling face. I hated that I was torturing myself but there it was, the fear. Trying to seep into my very soul. Because a world without Wes was like a world without the sun. Pointless and dead. My world would be dead.—Kiersten

Wes

Checking in took a lot longer than I thought it would. I felt bad for leaving Kiersten sitting in the lobby, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I’d planned everything perfectly, not that it saved me from having to fill out so much damn paperwork that I seriously almost broke the pen in half.

“Enjoy,” the receptionist said with a smile.

“We will.” I offered a warm smile in return and walked back to where I’d left Kiersten.

Even wearing a blindfold she looked beautiful. But something was wrong, her shoulders were hunched, and she was holding herself like she needed comforting, like the world was crumbling around her and she was powerless to stop it.

“Sweetheart?” I knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yes,” she whispered. “I think so.” A solitary tear slid down her cheek.

Panicking, I rose to my feet and then sat next to her, pulling her in my arms. “Are you hurt? What happened? Did something happen? Talk to me.”

“My heart.” She let out a pathetic sigh. “Sometimes even though I know in my heart that you’re alive and you’re here, I just—I go back to that place. I go back to the nightmares, the moments when I realized I might lose you forever. It sucks, and it’s unfair and it’s totally ruining what I’m sure is going to be an amazing wedding night, but it’s just…Wes, it’s terrifying, crippling.” She shuddered and then reached for her blindfold with shaking hands. I stopped her before she could take it off.

“Kiersten, do you trust me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then leave the blindfold on, sweetheart.” Her hands were like icicles. I brought them to my lips and kissed each fingertip. “I want you to be able to focus on my voice—nothing else. Not the fear, not the anticipation of where we are, but every word coming out of my mouth.” I released a heavy sigh and leaned in so that my lips were grazing her ear. “Kiersten, the worst has happened. I should have died. I didn’t. I’m right here. Next to you. Holding you. When your mind tries to take you to that place—you need to fight it. The battle is in your head. The minute you start giving power to those thoughts you’ve already lost. Fear wins. Don’t let fear win, Kiersten. Love—our love—it can’t flourish where fear is present. Do you get what I’m saying?” I pulled back a bit to watch the reaction on her face.

More tears, and then a muffled, “No.”

Chuckling, I squeezed her harder. “This could be my last night on this earth. I could choose to be afraid and hole up in a hotel room or I could live. Remember you always have a choice. Don’t let your mind cripple what your heart already knows to be true.” I gripped her hand and placed it over my heart. “And Kiersten even if it was my last night. I would do nothing different. Absolutely nothing. Because I’m with you. My other half, my soul mate.”

Kiersten nodded. I couldn’t tell if she was better or if she was still upset. I thought the tears were gone, but I was still concerned. With a sigh, I helped her to her feet and led her down the hall. She adjusted her blindfold with still-shaking hands.

“S-sorry,” she mumbled once we’d been walking in silence for a bit. “I didn’t mean to get all…emotional.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed her back. “But I did call you a frog so I guess we’re kind of even.”

“True.” She giggled. Ah, there was the laugh I was waiting for. The one that made me want to slay every damn dragon in her way and conquer the world over and over again.

All for one giggle.

One laugh.

Yeah, I was done for.

We were in the best suite they had at The Market Inn downtown. It was a beautiful boutique hotel, but I chose it for a specific purpose, one I hoped would make Kiersten cry happy tears…

“Are we at a hotel?” She asked once I pushed open the door and helped her make her way inside.

“Yup.”

“So is that the surprise?”

“Nope.”

“Okay…”

“Keep walking straight.” I lined her up so she wouldn’t knock anything over. “I’m going to open the sliding glass door really quick and then I’ll take off your blindfold. Alright?”

Kiersten nodded, her smile making me feel like it was Christmas morning and I’d just gotten her a puppy.

She shivered as I led her outside. The moist air had a bite to it, so I took off my suit jacket and wrapped it around her small frame.

“The ocean.” Kiersten lifted her nose into the air and sniffed. “We’re right on the Sound?”

“Yeah.” I watched her like a crazed fool, watched while her smile grew at the idea that we were near the water. “So, my surprise?”

Hands on hips, she shouldn’t have even known where to stare, but there she was, blindfold in place, expecting something like a piece of jewelry or maybe even something like a boat ride.

“Have a seat.” I gently sat her on the wooden lounge chair and took off her blindfold. Her green eyes were still a bit wet with tears. I leaned down and kissed each cheek and whispered. “Surprise.”

Her eyebrows shot together in confusion. “You’re my surprise?”

“Would that be enough?” I tilted my head.

“Yeah.” She reached for me. “Every day of my life that would be enough, more than enough.”

I backed away from her so that I could focus. It seemed every time her skin came into contact with mine, my knees felt like they were about ready to buckle and my brain screamed for me to do something about the way she made me feel.

“Your wedding present.” I smiled and pointed across Elliot Bay.

“You bought me…a boat?” Kiersten guessed her eyes darting across the bay, obviously trying to figure out where I was pointing.

“Hmm, you’re getting warmer.” I kept pointing in the direction of the piece of land across the way. “Hey, maybe these will help.” I handed her some binoculars and winked.

With a teasing scowl, she snatched them out of my hand.

I didn’t look at where she was looking—no, I watched her. Because I knew I’d recognize the minute she discovered her little surprise.

With a gasp, Kiersten jerked back and then look through the binoculars again, then looked at me, then back through the lenses.

“Y-you…” She covered her mouth with her hands.

“I?” Grinning, I pulled her into my arms. “Yes?”

“You.” Her lower lip trembled. “You bought us a house.”

“I did.”

“The house I saw last time we went to that bed and breakfast across the bay—the house with the red door.”

“Yup.”

“The house that wasn’t even for sale when we first saw it.”

I shrugged sheepishly. Yeah, it had been hell to get the people to move out, but when I offered them twice the market rate and told them my story, I was almost afraid they were going to try to give it to me for free. Had they not been an elderly couple that vacationed in Florida half the year I wouldn’t have even pushed it.

“Look again,” I whispered. “This time see if you can’t focus on the large bay window in the front.”

Kiersten, shakily lifted the binoculars back up to her face—but this time when she saw the rest of the surprise, she dropped them and fell into my arms sobbing.

Because above the window I’d had a metal sign made for all to see.

It read simply…The Beginning.