Fearless

Chapter Three

The type of love that makes you want to laugh out loud—scream a bit—run in circles—and then repeat? Yeah that’s how I felt about Wes. Totally. Out. Of. Control. Giddiness.—Kiersten

Lisa

My smile felt so forced that it ached. Don’t get me wrong. I was really excited for Kiersten—what type of friend would I be if I wasn’t excited?

I felt like the last one. The redheaded stepchild. However, you want to look at it. Wes had Kiersten…Gabe had Saylor…

And I had…a shady past filled with the memory of a guy I’d betrayed. A guy I could have loved—but had destroyed instead.

Yeah, so much for happy memories.

“How’s it look?” Kiersten emerged from the bathroom and twirled. The dress was actually an embellished bodice with a sweetheart cut, while the skirt was around seven layers of lace and intricate beading. It had a definite Spanish flair. It was something I knew Kiersten would love.

And when I’d tried to show Wes, he’d covered his eyes and pulled out his credit card and mumbled something about not wanting to see the dress before the wedding and that I should do “whatever it takes” to make the love of his life happy.

I snatched that credit card with lightning speed—no girl should say no to a Wes Michels credit card, those bad boys have no limit, which was also a perk since I’d had it shipped that very day.

“You look beautiful.” I fought the tears clogging my throat as Kiersten’s smile filled the room with joy. I had to look away. I needed to look away because it broke my heart that I would never have that same type of joy. That same smile. I didn’t deserve it and part of me wondered if I ever really wanted it in the first place. When you want something, you fight for it, right? And I never fought. I just gave in, over and over again. I gave in to the nameless faces, the touches, the numerous advances…and then there was Taylor.

I didn’t give in to him. Not the first time. Or even the second, but the third? The fourth? The fifth? Sixth? Seventh? I’d lost count. And he’d turned out to be a monster. So I’d tried to leave. But the thing about leaving someone who’s a sociopath? They always find you.

For years, I’d never regretted what happened, what I did. It had to happen in order for me to survive…but watching Wes and Kiersten—it made me regret things, things I had no business regretting, because in the end I couldn’t turn back time. I couldn’t get my dignity back, my pride, my heart. Those had all died right along with his black soul.